Watch What Crappens - RHOP: A Mime Is A Terrible Thing To Waste

Episode Date: July 3, 2018

It's time for the group trip on "Real Housewives of Potomac," but not even a very charming mime can convince Robyn and Gizelle to go to France. Will they ever be persuaded to take an all-expe...nses paid vacation to the French Riviera???? Check out our recap to find out. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few, follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardy-Dowardy! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low.
Starting point is 00:00:36 Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger! Just saying, okay! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Megan the Slayer Taylor! Suzy going to the Tobin Hey, but Nikola Weber Ashley Savonie. She don't take no baloney and our super premium Patreon subscribers Kelly Grant the grant master give them hell miss no well the incredible edible Matthews Oh, I'm ho! Miss Noel? The incredible, edible Matthewsister! Andrea, get your ducks in a roleplay!
Starting point is 00:01:08 And Lizzie Drucker, a fine mother f- Watch what crap bins! Watch what crap bins! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins! Poppins! Poppins! Poppins! Crappins! I think it's my best so much that happens Hey everybody welcome to watch our crap ends a podcast about all that crap on bravo that we just love to watch I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me as usual is Ronnie Karam who's also the co-host of Rose pricks a bachelor roast podcast What's going on Ronnie?
Starting point is 00:02:01 Well, hello happy Monday, B. Happy Monday, we're looking we're looking down the barrel of a of a big holiday week here in America. You excited? Yeah. How are they baby? Partay. Partay. It's gonna be super fun. Today we're gonna talk about real housewives of Potomac, speaking of America and DC, etc. But before we dive into that, of course we have things to shill already. Look we just put to get, we just put to bed our Phoenix and San Francisco shows and already we got two more shows right around the corner. Next
Starting point is 00:02:35 week we are going into the heartland, we are going into Missouri, we're going to St. Louis and then we're going to Kansas City back to back Friday and Saturday nights. So Friday and St. Louis, we're going to talk about the latest episode of Real Housewives of New York. And then Saturday and Kansas City, this is going to be a real special. We're going to be discussing the season finale of Southern Charm, which looks absolutely bonkers. So please, please don't waste any time. Get your tickets now. Watch for Crappens.com is where you can get those.
Starting point is 00:03:07 And we're going to many, many more cities, but we're just pushing those right now, because they're the ones happening next week. So that's going to be a mausling, so much fun. And Ronnie is designing a new Custom T-shirt, which I don't know when that's going to be available, but if you go to Watch for Crappens.com, you click on the Shop tab, You can buy merchandise from us, which
Starting point is 00:03:28 Don't you just want that it's a little merchandise celebrate America. Don't you don't you? Don't you maybe maybe not don't you wish your t-shirt was hot like a watch a crap in Sure, don't you wish your t-shirt was hot like Beverly Beach? Yes, I think you got it all in there, B.M. I feel like I really did. I felt like I squeezed it in. I'm just imploring the people of Missouri to come to our shows. Yes, Missouri.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Get your asses to our show. We're going to have fun. It's going to be really fun. No, for real. It's going to be amazing. Amazing. Yes. So today we have the real housewives of Potomark. Potomark, Potomark.
Starting point is 00:04:11 So what a show, wow. What a show, you know, I was actually at a wedding last night and I kept seeing all these notifications like, oh my God, this is too much first time tonight. This is amazing, so I came, I was very excited. I actually watched this post-wedding. I was sort of like in a ha came, I was very excited. I actually watched this post wedding. I was sort of like in a haze because I was like coming down from being drunk and I like over ate somehow and there was like stuff like my body and I was tired and so like I barely
Starting point is 00:04:36 even remember last night's episode, but I took notes. So you may have to hold my hand a little bit here, Ronnie. Oh babe, we're partners. Just the same. to hold my hand a little bit here Ronnie. Oh babe we're partners. Just skip through this field of crazy wigs together. Security security. He's holding my hand. His heart is on the right place. His hand isn't in either. Security. Your hand yelled at me. So Karen is crazy with the never in this episode. Let's just jump right in, shall we? Oh my god. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:06 So we go to a spa and it's one of those spas with little fishes that eat the shit off your feet. Yes. Now I went to one of those in the Bahamas with my mom because we were on a cruise and we were like, hey, let's bond and do this fish thing. Yeah. And of course, you know, they all started popping and exploding,
Starting point is 00:05:20 eating my feet because, Lord knows, I've got like a great America buffet on my feet. So we're getting the, as we waited, there's always a lineup girl. and exploding eating my feet. Cause Lord knows I've got like a great America buffet on my feet. So we were getting as we waited. There's always a line of girls like like tourist girl. Yeah, golden to row. There's always a line of girls waiting to go. So we were watching girl after girl get up there and go and freak out. And I just really wanted one of those fish to jump in their eye.
Starting point is 00:05:44 And like, well, there was an awful story. I'll let you Google it because I really can't go through. and freak out and I just really wanted one of those fish to jump in their eye and like Well, there was an awful story I'll let you Google it because I really can't go through it, but there was an awful story of a guy I think he was in China a few years ago Who you know it's it's a terrible story for a male. It's a terrible story He waited into it was yeah, he went in when it went in his beeping hole. Okay, there we go, there it is. But, you know, people are very like, ooh, I'm like, I think it looks lovely.
Starting point is 00:06:11 Like, what, like there's nothing gross. It's just a little fish, a little nibbling. Let them have their moment, you know? Yeah, well that girl, that girl in line is candy ass. It's like every girl in my- Yeah, she doesn't know I should call the princess. is a candy ass. It's like every girl in my... Ehhhhh! She doesn't know why she's called a princess. And yet, like, everything that's like a little weird,
Starting point is 00:06:30 she makes a whole big thing about it, because it just drives attention to herself. Like, what? Ice cream. Where there's like, it's in a cup, but there's a contour! Ehhhhh! And Karen is extra caring today too, because they go into the spa Karen goes you know why? It's a spot moment
Starting point is 00:06:49 It's a spot moment where we're gonna get we're gonna go in security. It's security They put some fish in the foot spa security. Can you get these fish out of here? They're hot and on the right place is security I'm having a press conference for all the fish. Okay. I'm here with Neptune and he says he is out raged by his people coming into my spa. This fish is yelling at my toes security. It's put on fortunate souls in this spa. I love the woman who worked at the spa. She's like, hello, welcome back. She's like, you want some champagne?
Starting point is 00:07:25 Woo! Spelling the champagne all over the floor. I mean, who doesn't want to go to a salon that smells like Bar-Rot? Exactly. So Karen, of course, she is really enjoying Candace because I think really basically Candace makes Karen feel young. She's like, something about her over the top behavior. It's cool. It's like, okay, I like it.
Starting point is 00:07:48 It's cool. I'm like, what a shock. Karen is drawn to over the top behavior. When she is wearing basically poodle hair on her head right now, like talk about over the top. Yeah. Also, she's like the only one who will talk to Karen. So it's kind of like when the order of tray comes around and you're like, oh, sure, thank you so much.
Starting point is 00:08:07 Like the last order of a course you're gonna choose it. Well, Karen, yeah, Karen is an alliance building mode, you know, like whenever these ladies need to build a team, they'll be like, you know, they really like this person. They really grow up. They've really been churled out. We're really bonding now. Yeah. You're out. You're out of friends. Yeah, so she's like, well, look at this coffee cup It says my friends visited It says my friends visited because I'm having a friend visit My Kindle comes in Kind of so ridiculous so Kindle comes in now Chiselle has been calling Kindle Horseface. That's not very nice. Also is what we call Katie and Kristen. So we're not
Starting point is 00:08:50 going to go there. I don't think she has a horse face. I think she has like a very tiny circular mouth. Like her teeth go like, you know, hard you and I don't know. I'm kind of into it. I'm kind of into that. I'm not going to disagree with what Jacelle says, but I'm also going to be I'm trying to be a more of a respectful person these days, so I won't say that can't do lots of horse-fates, but I'm not going to disagree with Jacelle. Okay, I will not deny Norky first. I'm saying as she probably likes peanut butter. Anyway, so Karen, Karen's like, well, you know, I put my friendship on hold with Kindle
Starting point is 00:09:27 when Giselle started dating Shum, and I respect what Giselle, but you know what, Giselle is not deserving my loyalty. Get, get, get my loyalty away from Giselle's hands. No, security, apprehended, apprehended, bring it back. Well, if I see words, everything, do the recent events. She's not deserving of my loyalty.
Starting point is 00:09:44 I love when she's talking. So Kindle like they try to speak in like overly formal language because they think it makes themselves That makes them sound smarter like well due to what it's transpired transpired is like the buzzword, you know It's like quad will say that like well, I do what what is transpired between us and here to for loyalty and such and security Matt Matt security. Yeah, it's very DC. you know, it's like everything is a bill. Like I would like the passable requiring the respect of nations that just they'll transpires together with transportation services. It's a bipartisan, bipartisan bill. It's also from, from paterson. It's a bill from paterson that's bill from paterson that's by partisan. And we're reaching across the aisle. She does not
Starting point is 00:10:27 deserve my loyalty. We're both, you know, sign up both parties and it's going to be celebrated at the high tea across the street at the the Windsor, the Wyndham, whatever that rest about hotel is called. Well, Jizzelsen, it time out because she tried to screw me in the butt without Vaseline girl. I changed paper and I rolled it into a coat and put it on her head, putting her in the dance, dance corner, it's the dance.
Starting point is 00:10:48 Time out for dances. Kindles like in the butt without Vaseline, you don't deserve that. The way they take a stand. So she's like, well, I'm holding out on the verdict because she's a palvestite before. So I'd like to give her an opportunity to take the floor and apologize before and I will fill a buster if she tries to move backwards on her promise to the people of this state. Security, security, Giselle is, her filibuster
Starting point is 00:11:15 is not been approved by this filibuster and my filibuster is going to take priority over her filibuster and it's transpiring security, house of the cards of the senator transpired congress theory please call buster who is buster the unstocks in my filibuster back to my filibuster congress can you make sure that they have thirty five pages ready to go in the back some sheen thank you so can this is like well i'm not going to talk shit because that's Ashley's job, which gives them a chance to jump all over her. So Karen's like, well,
Starting point is 00:11:50 you and Chris went ballistic at the gala. You were regular black water. What are the princes running you with your social life? What's happening with you? Karen is so Karen Karen me the day. Like everything she says really does so my dad. So Candice is like, well Chris called me a princess diva and you know for me that is a point of contention. She's saying it as if she was just like she like accepted it like she heard it and very it was very rational about it and and I like Kindle who's just sitting there and she's like, well you know I've known you for a very short amount of time and him calling your princess is probably Not that far fetched
Starting point is 00:12:31 All I thought that she was gonna be like I've only known you a little bit But you were so far from a princess, but she's like no, yeah, you are princess. You're a little slow Yeah, Kindle came ready to play She's like I will be on this show. So let's all just accept it. And wait for them to hand over my bill next year, whatever the hell they hold at the beginning of this one. What are they holding the beginning of this on a paperweight? At the champagne, a paperweight. They hold like a little DC Chachki as a little American flag. No, they hold champagne glasses. You know that kind of, kind of, Kindos coming
Starting point is 00:12:58 for Candace's job. Like Candace is on Barra time at this moment. She had like one good fight four weeks ago at Nemacolan and now she's just like Prattling on about her wedding. No, yeah, so she Candace is like, well, that is fine Seated issue for me. Okay, and then I said a little something about his father We see the clip and Karen's like, well, I probably wouldn't have left you We see the clip and Karen's like, well, I probably wouldn't have left you. What a good security and got you out of there. You don't have to hurt each other to reach each other.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Like you couldn't come up with a rhyme for that, Karen, what kind of politician are you going to be? So, okay, I just explain to her mindset, which actually makes sense, but it's no better. It's still kind of insulting. She's terrible. She's basically like, you know, I never saw myself getting married married to a busy a divorced guy who has like kids, you know and an ex and all that stuff And I kind of feel like I sacrificed my ideals to be with Chris and I don't feel like he's sacrificed anything So that's where she has this like don't speak. I actually do get that, but it doesn't make it any better and that's horrible What if somebody told you that like no that's what I have I have sacrificed I have lowered my bar to let you into my life No, it's terrible, but I even though it's terrible. I still understand it
Starting point is 00:14:17 You know, but it doesn't she shouldn't she needs to work through that shit because that's not Chris's issue That's her issue. She's have some sessions with her mom Yeah, okay. Therapist? Yeah. So, Canvas is like, well, it wasn't right, but it was hurtful, and now we're fine. Okay. She's like, well, there are batteries in there, she just don't cross. For example, never put both of your names on the checking account.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever. There are certain boundaries, ever, ever, ever. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. There are certain boundaries. You just do not cross. For instance, do not leave the laser disk in the player, because that is just unacceptable. And you're looking in the empty sleeve, and you're aware that laser disk and little behold, there it is in the player. Ray gets so mad when I do that, do not cross that boundary.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Do not stay in here microwave when you're wearing a pacemaker. Mm-mm. Another boundary. Not the boundary. Don't twirl the telephone cord over and over with your finger because then when you hang it up, it's just a big old knot of curly queues and that's just unacceptable in the huger household with our landline. Another boundary.
Starting point is 00:15:16 When a fax is coming through, don't take it personally. It's not yelling at you. It's just as how it makes. Happy! Yes, another boundary for you. When you printed something out and you're peeling off the little circles on the edges of the paper, be it, do be sure to put them in the recycling bin. It's just rude to put them in regular trash.
Starting point is 00:15:32 Oh, so Chris and Monique. Oh yeah, Monique, who doesn't have a drinking problem. Hey, why don't we go to some place called Wine Harvest. We can grow your wine experiences. Yeah, why don't we go to some place called Wine Harvest. We can grow your wine experiences. Yeah, pretty much. She's like, well, we deserve a break. I love that money because I'm always talking about how much you've helped break. Not for lazy mom, pioneer, or deserves a break at all times. And also, by the way, I like that wine harvest. It's the little like slogan under it, said a better place to drink wine. Basically, I guess that means you get a designated driver
Starting point is 00:16:07 I think to like come up with an excuse that you were just too tired and you had a long blink The wine harvest at least it's not the front seat of your car It's like okay, wow sounds great. Yeah, so Chris is like I got a lot of game plan in to do so we can win the game tomorrow I'd like some spicy cheese. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh'm here for my man. And he's like, oh, so I don't got to smash it like that Tyler Perry movie. And she's like, look, I'm a busy woman and a lot of people want to get in touch with me. I'm like, who wants to get in touch with you? Are you talking about like the police officers who were like, man, we got your blood work back and we need to see you down down.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Ma'am, we have received a lawsuit from the tiny tree you hit on the way to the bigger tree. The tiny tree has brought in a lawyer and we have seven elves who would like to file a civil suit, you apparently drove over their house. Because the seven elves have like a very small house very close to the railing in Maryland. That's what the seven elves have like a very small house very close to the railing. That's what the seven elves are. I mean they are always cold it makes sense. Yeah. So she's we get to see the logo for it. I just wrote down all those blog calls and trying to come through. So she's she shows in the logo. And the six armed lady. You know what? I was trying to look it up because I couldn't I can't remember it since I was like is it Shiva is a Vishnu
Starting point is 00:17:48 Is a Krishna and I try to look them up on on Google images. I was like I give up. It was a Hindu God God, I was looking up. It's one of the Hindu gods. Look at me being ignorant Is it McCalla? I'm looking right now Hindu gods.. Oh my God, some of them have way more arms. Some of them have like, so many arms. It's like, seriously. How many arms do you need? Like, you can't hold that many. Like, literally, that's like too many arms.
Starting point is 00:18:14 Like, if you were trying to be like, a white person, it would be like too much. You're like, there's like not enough tables for you to serve. And one of the arms is holding a purse. It's like, is this legal? No. But I'm also like why, like I don't totally understand the Hindu reference in the logo. And on top of that, yoga and shopping.
Starting point is 00:18:35 And how are they not all just holding the martini? Because I want them. Look at the first real look. Note that none of them are holding a seatbelt or buckling one. I would have thought it have been like you know Da Vinci's guy Da Vinci's dude, you know like maybe that but it would be like a lady version Mm-hmm, I don't know not really because that's like the was that that's like the ideal man Da Vinci's guy You know I don't know cuz I hear Da Vinci and all I hear is Da Vinci code Which is that Tom Hanks movie that made me want to like kill everybody on earth Oh, I thought you were gonna say teenage mutant interturtles
Starting point is 00:19:09 Um, honey, good. Hold on hold on. I'm so busy delivering pizzas like I like my phone will not stop bringing us constantly those turtles asking for more pizza I like my phone will not separate is constantly those turtles ask for more pizza You're still waiting up the god. I can't tell what you're doing. I'm looking at so many gods I'm I'm turning it off because I'm like how many arms do these gods have and what do they do with all the arms? Like I'm confused and what kind of lazy mom is they're like sitting around like what kind of not lazy mom is sitting around reading a blog like Reading a blog is what you do when you feel lazy You want to waste time, you know, I'm so confused by this whole business thing exactly I think that the gods with their hands. I think I assume it's supposed to represent the fact that the gods are sort of like Everywhere and have a hand in everything and can do everything. I don't know. What am I know?
Starting point is 00:20:04 It's got the whole person. Well, if it's hands, I have not studied Hinduism since like ninth grade. So it's a little bit of a little bit of a monkey. I can guarantee you. She's just like, oh, I love six times. Let's do it. Give them a purse. Okay. So they start talking about how Robin and Jizal hate her and Cherice don't't call her back. Yeah, but it's gonna be her birthday soon. So Chris is like, you're so tired from doing so many things. You need a break. You're so tired from putting children on your kitchen island
Starting point is 00:20:37 with their feet and hands all over the areas where we eat and cook. You can go wherever you would like to. I'll take the kids and make sure they got their oils on them. You know, you know, the other thing is, by the way, something that I thought was sort of adorable and idiosyncratic about Chris is that after he drank his wine, he wiped the rim. Did you notice that? I never saw any of these before. If you had some spicy cheese on his lips, or something. I don't want to ruin the quality of this world with my spicy cheese. He was eating like entire wheels of cheese with each bite.
Starting point is 00:21:11 It's like how much could that man fit in his mouth with each bite? He literally eats like a wheel of re like it's a bonbell. He's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, I like he goes, lately, I think you need a break. And then they show footage of Monique shooting a video for her website. And in her video, this sort of like shed some light on her logo. She goes, I appreciate Western medicine, but I want to do something from the earth. I'm like, what are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:21:36 Like, what does this have to do with lazy moms? Like, Western medicine, something that I guess it's about home remedies, right? But like, and he said, who has a blog called Not for lazy moms and then does a video sitting on a couch. It's like the laziest place you could possibly be coming. She should be multitasking in every single scene.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Like she should be talking about this while also like painting a wall, even if it doesn't need to be painted, just paint it. You're not lazy. While like riding a little unicycle, you know, like, and juggling, she's actually juggling the paint brushes. She does like a joke and tosses it. She has like a paint brush and a roller and, I don't know, a rag. She's like, I'm so busy. I'll go into date and night.
Starting point is 00:22:17 I won't even stop to eat. I'm like, you're literally eating right now. So Chris is like, you can give me a lot of dance on the way home. I'm like, this whole scene is begging me, okay? Like, first of all, maybe me a lap dance on the way home. I'm like this whole scene is bugging me Okay, like first of all, maybe we should be concentrating on the fact that she needs to pay attention to the road Yeah, you shouldn't even be your own car coming from a wine place after your two sister I also like the idea of mooney giving Chris a lap dance come just imagine you're like pulling up a little ladder Prophing up against the style climbing up, you know, then taking like one of those like One of those like little prong things that you swing around the top of your head and like throwing it and she sort of like swings across
Starting point is 00:22:52 whole app She has to bunching for herself to his waist just to stay safe. She's basically on getting on to That's based on which she's like, I finally made it and he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, and the stomach's like boom And he's kicks her off with the stomach Chris, you have to stop laughing when I get on the lap. Oh Monique and by the way this trip is instead of a Lamborghini, which is what she really wants for her birthday Well, I think she lost the right to a Lamborghini when she hit that small tree on the way to the large tree after her Non-drunk
Starting point is 00:23:25 driving incident. If you can keep one car for longer than two years, we'll lease you another. Hello! This is Lisa Vanderpum. We are taking a commercial break now, but if you don't hear one, don't worry. You're very lucky. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
Starting point is 00:23:51 I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently?
Starting point is 00:24:19 And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then we go over to Ashley who's trying to think of new things to do over at Oz, and she's like, Shotskies! Yeah, they have Shotskkiana did you reduce situation.
Starting point is 00:24:47 They, yeah, she's trying to think up of new and exciting ways to bring people in. And so one thing that she's going to try is open mic night at Oz, because that's what everyone wants. When they go to restaurant, is a bunch of amateur singers screaming into microphone over your kangaroo? Yeah. Well, you're getting a bunch of people in there eat kangaroo.
Starting point is 00:25:05 I don't think they're known for their taste. Let's just make it as tacky as possible. Also, I've never noticed that the logo, I know it's a kangaroo, but it really does look like a Jurassic Park T-Rex. I feel like, isn't, their logo to me looks like a sneaker logo. It's like a little, like speedy kangaroo.
Starting point is 00:25:23 I still haven't seen Jurassic Park even though I know it's supposed to be bad, but I still want to see it just I think almost only to talk about it on this podcast. Yeah, I want to see it too. We need to guess I was gonna call you yesterday to see if you wanted to see it and then I was like, I'm tired. That's fine and I had to go this wedding anyway yesterday. So she's like, singing was my talent in Miss America, so I thought let's get some open mic down and down. Yeah, it's always bad when you're borrowing like a to read storyline by the way, because that's what Ash is doing this episode. Yeah, her hair's cute though.
Starting point is 00:25:52 I don't know, that's all like an everything good with Ash. She's so cute. I like, she says that she's bringing singers into Oz for this open mic night and there's a group called Dacquery that's performing. I'm like, what is this group Dacquery? This sounds like it is from 1982. Like there will be like Jerry Curl. I'm like very excited about Dacquery. Well, at first I thought she said that too and I was like Dacquery, finally something people will buy in this restaurant. But then she said, then she said her brother Zachary. So I think that she was exactly,
Starting point is 00:26:25 but I thought she said, Zachary too. Well, maybe Zachary is his group. Like maybe he'd like form Zachary, but the former former members of like Starpoint or Starbase, whatever Starpoint and like, isn't it Starpoint? You're the object of my desire.
Starting point is 00:26:41 Remember that song? Mm-hmm. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that?
Starting point is 00:26:51 Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that?
Starting point is 00:26:59 Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Do you see that? Ashley is now talking some crazy talk. She's like, well, now that I know that Michael doesn't want to have a baby with me, I've decided rather than focus on that, I'm just going to focus on the positive and just like focus on that.
Starting point is 00:27:11 Like, what are you talking about? Like you wanted a baby, that was a deal breaker and he says no. And so now you're just going to be like, well, I'll focus on the positive. What's the positive? Having an open mic tonight? Look, but this scene is giving you all the answers you need if that big dopey chef right next to you Get into the kitchen and fuck him until you've got a baby inside. Yeah. Yeah. There's your answer Yeah, he's putting in the work like he's looking much better this season like he's actually starting to look like hot
Starting point is 00:27:38 So like he's putting in an effort. You should do it too Yeah, so then her mom's coming because the chef's like, oh, I'm here to, I guess, cause shit, I guess. I mean, I don't know why I would be standing here to talk about an open mic when I'm the chef. So is your mom coming? And she's like, well, we had a little spat, but hopefully this will fix it. I'm like, she, this is why she's always having problems with people in her life. You know, fix things with like bad covers. No. Trust me. I've tried. Fix things with good covers, either, to be honest. No, I don't know. A good, the greatest of all, I feel like good. That's right.
Starting point is 00:28:12 That's true. You know, today I heard a horrific cover. I was driving back from Starbucks, where by the way, I did not finish my hopscotch because there's some bullshit without my hopscotch board. Even though I made a path, they did not get me credit. But anyway, I was driving back and I, you know, Bonne Bear, Bonne Bear. They had to say, and I was like, whew, with everything. He did a cover of, I can't make you love me if you don't.
Starting point is 00:28:36 And I'm like, all right, I'm open to this because it's a profoundly amazing song. And it was such a bastardization of a beautiful, beautiful song. I was furious and I had to immediately listen to the original just to erase Bony Bears. Oh my god. I love that song. Why was it like how does it how does anyone okay? His his his like because I can't make you love me.
Starting point is 00:29:01 Like when it was so slow but also like he like couldn't hit the notes and it was like and I woke him up this way and I was like this is awful, awful, he's like I can't make coffee and tea, it loves coffee and tea and build for me, it's like Ashley's song, it's like oh no, I can't make coffee in love heart if it's like Ashley song. Oh no Yeah, I'm surprised I wasn't at that open mic at us So we get my favorite kind of transition out of this scene golfing and a river That's all that goes on at this town even the dough won't show it it for this. The dough is like, the vault, because Karen calls security on the dough. Security, security, there's a fawn. Security, this fawn's hard, it's not in the right place.
Starting point is 00:29:49 Security, get rid of the fawn. This fawn is trying to get its fat minneeeeee. So, we're back at Monique's house, and again, she has the children right up there on that kitchen island. I mean, everyone's on that island, and I just wanted to point this out, that we are not only going to come down on college Richards for putting her kids on the counter, I will come down on Monique.
Starting point is 00:30:11 I mean, talk about not for lazy moms. How about you like, you know what's lazy is like not bothering to get a chair for your children. Yeah. Just putting them on the couch. So yes. So she has decided to go to France with all the take all the girls to France
Starting point is 00:30:24 for her birthday. And so she has decided to go to France with all the take all the girls to France for her birthday And so she's crafting all these little These little cards and having these little invitations and having her kids help her I'm like and she's and I'm thinking that's not being lazy. You're literally outsourcing your invitations your children Your company officially uses child labor. Yeah, good luck with that Yes, and she's holding the scissors like pointing in Malani's face, which is just terrifying. I mean, the whole time, I was like, oh my god, I love that child. Please don't stab her in the face.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Yeah. So she wants, she's chosen this out the France because, you know, I'm in office, the Riviera. And she's like, but she goes mainly because of the essential oils. Like, and she's like, but she goes mainly because of the essential oils. Like, you know, they're known for the essential oils, but like, it just seems to me of all the reasons to go this out of the France. I just would not put essential oils as like number one at number one. Like, yeah, I've never heard that. I've heard for Sons. The best croissant I ever have is in the South of France.
Starting point is 00:31:20 I've heard, I mean, like, can I've heard of like croissants and human trafficking in movies. I mean what other reason do you go? I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised when Asher told everyone that they're gonna go to can that they didn't all show up at a state prison like what they can what what do you want? But what are you gonna do about Robin and Chazelle? She's like well if they want to be petty they they can, but I'm taking them to can, so they can do whatever they want, really. But I'm hoping that they will decide not to. Is there a French place to go decide not to? I want to be positive on this trip.
Starting point is 00:31:55 I was like, don't snap your baby in the face, please. So she's like, I've decided that instead of delivering these in person, I'm going to do something special. Like, delivering them in person is pretty special. That's like, actually extremely special. Even just using snail mail, as opposed to paperless posts, is special these days. She's like, I got a lot more in my bag than umbrellas.
Starting point is 00:32:15 I'm like, yes, probably mimes for your channel, the stab they're faced with. And I can't find bottles of T-dose. And some orbit. Yeah, exactly. So now we go over to Robin's house. And her kid is like expecting the tooth fairy. That kid is, he barks a little bit too much at his mother for my taste if you ask. That's all he does.
Starting point is 00:32:40 They're little fuckers to her with their mother. It's hilarious. Like mother. Yeah. I have two teeth for the tooth fairy too, and she's like okay. I'll call the tooth fairy He's like you can't call the tooth fairy. Is it you? She's like how could I be the tooth fairy? I can't even fly my god. You're even negative as a tooth fairy I know she's like I don't understand what the price is so Yeah, so based and the kids like I want a pair. So then there's like a knock on the door.
Starting point is 00:33:09 It's like a really random request and so there's knock on the door and there's like a mine which cracked me up because when was it? It was not too long ago where we were saying that someone was a mine. Oh, it was Brittany. Brittany is a mine We had a whole bit about Brittany being a mine on one of I think it was the season was the season finale of Rules it was some episode of about 20 minutes I felt like about Britney mimeing her way through something So the fact that a mime actually showed up in Bravo was perfection. It was so funny And he's like kind of a terrifying mime. Yeah, he looks like mr. Drummond's housekeeper, you know, not the old lady How's one?
Starting point is 00:33:44 You know what's her name? I don't remember Yeah, he looks like Mr. Drummond's housekeeper, you know, not the old lady. How's he gonna be the next one? You know, what was her name? I don't remember. Oh damn you. I'll look it up. Mr. Drummond. A different dress. Yeah, housekeeper.
Starting point is 00:33:54 And she was also an imperial mom. She has that sort of like, that quivering, quivering, quivering voice. Yeah. Obviously, we're not ending a Garrett, but. Yeah. Well, Mrs. Garrett, Mary we're not end of Garrett. But um, yeah, I'm just scared. Marley, boy.
Starting point is 00:34:10 I don't know. Um, the scary vibes. So the kids are screaming and freaking out about this mind, you know, and she's like, oh, my way. And so he has a little suitcase and he starts taking like clues out of there, I guess. And she's like, uh-huh, I'm sorry, another person chews a tape recorder. I haven't seen one of those since I was at Karen's house. And so he presses the tape recorder and it's like, hey, we're all over the show.
Starting point is 00:34:35 It's just a joke, we're here. We're going to... Oh, oh, province, like pack your Louis Vuitton. Bonjour, au revoir. And just probably it's like pack your Louis Vuitton,
Starting point is 00:34:45 bonjour au voie, and just probably is like, I took Spanish. You know the mimes, just enjoy this for a moment. Yeah, the mimes, she's like, wait, is this my mot telling me I'm the worst tooth fairy ever? That's not nice. So she's like, Monique, can,
Starting point is 00:35:01 I haven't talked to her in days, mime. Why are you bringing me this? Like, geez, stop pitching at the mime, okay? Why would I want to go look at a can You're sucking the life out of the mime There is a rhyme he's the antidote for Prada face There's something scratched out on the card. Did you notice that it's like I did love? I think it was because I looked on Facebook because Facebook always has the answers and someone posted that and said she scratched out love and put sincerely. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:35:34 That's amazing. So she's like, this sounds fabulous, but where are you inviting me, mine? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, she's like, I don't understand why Monouk is inviting me. I'm like, because you're on a TV show, okay? And this is your group trip. Stop being like.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Yeah, it's like a snatch in. Yeah. And who else has ever invited you to France before? Like when are you ever going to go to France robbing? Okay. You have like $5 in your account for the first time in three seasons. Just say thank you and go. Please. Please. So you and go. Please
Starting point is 00:36:05 Please. So next we go to a lunch with We I just want to give an update and say that the woman we're referring to is Mary Jo Cadlet and she played Pearl Gallagher Well, there you go. It was Pearl Pearl the mine Pearl Gallagher is now mimeing in the greater DC area, the DMV as they call it. You see, it's like keep, keep it moving. Now that's not a lazy mom. No, that is not a lazy mom. She's like, all right, I am like 80 something, I need a gig, so guess what?
Starting point is 00:36:38 I'm mime and I'm mime and that's it. I don't care. I've got a suitcase, a tape recorder, and some white pancake makeup. What could I do? Now the world don't move to the move to the beat of just one drum. What might be right for you may not be right for some and that goes for mimes So we got a lunch with Karen and Yeah, and they're both dressed like crazy people Karen has this new wig that's actually beautiful I think it's my favorite wig. Yeah, that's her new wig. Yeah, and she and the best part is when they see each other they do The thing that really that women who are really angry at each other do which is compliment each other first like oh
Starting point is 00:37:17 Well, like I love your capes out. It's just beautiful It looks like you could be a security guard for someplace that requires capes And she's like oh, I love your wig Karen I love your wig. I'm like, okay, these women hate each other right now Yeah, so Karen has like Ashley wig and a motorcycle jacket and then just others wearing this like bull riding wig Hmm this bull with this I'm not wig A bull riding cape like quilted cape with like a few dazzled. I mean it's bad that's what they call those those like bull The things that the Matadors wear, but you know to infuriate the bull because bulls read the
Starting point is 00:37:52 Matadors in Madonna where And so just like how are we feeling today? Yeah, and cares like you will see I mean listen, I mean listen I was in discovery mode with my favorite and spin-off switch to listening mode And here's like, we'll see, we'll see. We'll see. I mean, listen, I mean, listen, I was in discovery mode with my fingerprints, but now I've switched to listening mode. I'm listening for the sirens of security. Security, I'm listening, listening mode, listening now. He's like, well, he's listening.
Starting point is 00:38:16 You know, Karen and I have been friends for two while longer. And I miss those drug phone calls that come at three in the morning back to back. And I meet those drunk phone calls. They come at 3 in the morning. Back to back. And I meet that life. What do you think those drunk phone calls are like? Hello security. I just bought a squirrel in the front yard. I've thrown pebbles and pebbles at him, but like, who won't go? Who won't go? It's just an incident that the squirrel is taunting me.
Starting point is 00:38:42 And security, you can't run the squirrel. haunting me and so I'm a security camera the scraw Security could you cook me to broom service Security I like to pay my cable bill. I know it's late, but I just got my payment All right, here we go here. I've got a dinosaur card. It's 313256 security Please don't always play me with his past. Thank you. This is how I was like, I do not know why you're mad at me. Yeah. And Karen's like, well, I'm listening. So she's like, okay, okay, Karen. Okay, Karen, you want me to start Karen? You want me to start the situation of Robbins events that transpired into transgression. I'm like, oh God, now we're gonna gonna have now we're gonna have like people fighting on the
Starting point is 00:39:26 Congress floor. Yeah, then Karen's like, no, no, no, you know, you've done enough of your whack attacks yourself. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, she's just Just started talking nonsense at that point. And she's like, whack attack, whack attack. Wack attack. And she's like, well, we'll get to rob it and when we get to rob it right now, we're talking about you. You remember the press conference? Yes, I'm going back there because that's number one. That's what began this old thing. You promise you change your ways and then you come to my event. You came in screaming. You came and saying, I need to talk to you now. No. Which is such an over dramatization of what really happened. Yes. And I love just watching the street because no one at this town respects the show. Like they probably all hate it's there.
Starting point is 00:40:10 And the restaurants are like, okay, you can have two go pros and that's it. And we're not closing the restaurant for you because like a mimo pass is by and looks back like what? And then these two guys stand in the street and start taking their picture during the scene. So then someone says something about like, you're acting like a clown or whatever. And then as I think Karen says that,
Starting point is 00:40:29 and then the mime starts walking down the street. And then my mime starts approaching, and so just, just, just as I was like, actually he's the clown. And he goes like, no, that is a mime. That is a mime, not a clown. That's a mime, that's a mime. Thank you, thank you mime. be on your way, thank you.
Starting point is 00:40:46 I'm not doing that, mom. I'm not doing that, mom. No, no, mom. You're not the last case. You can try, there's no escalator there. I've seen that sidewalk myself, I've walked on it. There's no escalator. Try as you will.
Starting point is 00:40:57 She stills like, Karen, he's in our conversation, Karen. He's in our conversation now. He's like, well, thank you, love. I'm not doing it. He's a mom, let him, whatever he does, let him do that somewhere. Let's like, well, thank you, love. I'm not doing it. He's a mom. Let him mom. Whatever he does, let him do that somewhere. Let him mom his way away from him.
Starting point is 00:41:10 No, no, no, no. So there's no elevator. The elevator's never going to come. OK, because you're just, it's imaginary. So mom, goodbye. So then she, then the mind is still there, and they just start ignoring it. Which is so funny.
Starting point is 00:41:24 Like, what do you think they're going to green screen out the mind later? Yeah, but he just sort of like walks away a little bit. So he walks away. And you know, like I wonder what they're even thinking. Like how random it was as mine, you know, but whatever. So Karen, so then they get back to their fight. It goes back to the fight, which is amazing. In fact, there's like a mine interlude and then they start fighting again.
Starting point is 00:41:42 Yes. She's like, so you call me a liar when all you do is, ah, back, ah, stop. I'm like, you don't have to admire it now, you know? And so just I was like, I just felt like, oh, Karen, so you never did anything wrong, Karen, you never lied, Karen. Oh, you said I came and screaming at the top of my lungs
Starting point is 00:41:59 and Karen's like, you did the top of your lungs. At my event, my charity event for people with all's high mose She's like I did not by saying that you look insane and then we see the clip and of course She's not yelling get the bed so I was like I speak to the situation room and I was like security security your hot's not the right place So Karen switches back to her favorite defense, which is our your close suck. Yeah, so she's like well Don't come to show your ass at my event. And you want to use Liberace jacket. I like that you added the element that not only was it a Liberace jacket, but it was
Starting point is 00:42:34 used. It's like a hand Liberace jacket. So it's like, what? That's a great jacket. It is a beautiful jacket, too. So, and it should be worn twice, but not the same year. And they show that you wore them two separate years. Yeah 2016 2017. Yeah. So then now they're starting to talk about Kindle and like how
Starting point is 00:42:53 it just el didn't like that. Karen invited Kindle and Karen's like, well, Kindle hasn't stabbed me in the back like you have you stabbed me you stabbed me with your Liberati jacket all those gemstones stabbing me What multiple times all at once and yelling security? She's getting with the gemstones Yeah, it's like well you shouldn't be dating someone's ex in the first place and just like well Karen they got married a hundred years ago Wow, and I've dated a million people who have been married before she was exactly Youth Liberati. Well, I mean just if Jizella's being like whatever they got married forever ago Then Jizella really shouldn't be mad that Kindle was there like Jazella is being like whatever, they got married forever ago, then Jazella really shouldn't
Starting point is 00:43:25 be mad that Kindle was there. Like if it's not a big deal that they were married, then it's not a big deal that she's seeing her ex there. Although I guess she just mad at Karen because she's like, I guess Jazella doesn't really care if Kindle's there. She just is more like, oh, Karen's trying to be sloppy. That's why I mad at Karen.
Starting point is 00:43:38 Notice she cared that Kindle was there because she's like, why would you invite thirsty girl? Yeah. So then the mind starts lurking again the mind starts Sinking back and doing a really bad glass window box thing. Yeah, it's so there But they're still fighting and Karen's like you know what you're a hot mask grow up just out Grow up and then she just turns to the mind goes can you move on? This is a bullshit you got your five minutes mom
Starting point is 00:44:05 This is a bullshit. You got your five minutes, Mom. Now, Mom. You got your five minutes of fame. On my five minutes of fame, Mom. Go on, move on. Where's your invisible walking conveyor belt? Move on, Mom. Move on. Can you move on? You've taken five of my 15, Mom. Move it along. So the Mime steps over the fence to start delivering this invitation and sure enough, Karen's like, security, security security security They both get up terrified and just like you gotta go you've got to go. It's like go. We're leaving But then they're like trying to get like just like sit with her like I'm getting up you leave you mom
Starting point is 00:44:40 You sit with her and Karen's like no you sit with her you sit with her Who gets to sit with her and Karen's like no you say with her you say with her Who gets to say with a good? Both running away from this mine which is perfect. No one ever told them it's part of the show You know, yeah for mine has its feelings hurt. I mean clearly the producers like stop them like no, no, no, no It's fine because we don't even see the mine given the invitation. We just hear later on that they figured it out But yeah Oh god, they were so- Karen with that is done gun is done the mime. Yeah. And just like, well, we were about to get things
Starting point is 00:45:11 figured out. But then here comes stupid mime. We have not finished, Miss Karen. So no, Candace and Chris go to a law firm to figure out their prenup, which like who cares and it's basically like so Do you guys have any assets? It's like no well then kind of like well I might be inheriting this like a house and I do have my hairline so yeah I have all the shit that my mother's paid for and they're like okay, okay next should reason Monique yeah I have their talk because Monique is like, you haven't been calling me. So Monique's like, I just don't want to have an issue with the one person I can depend on.
Starting point is 00:45:50 So then Sharice sits down in front of her grand Liberati Piano speaking of Liberati. And I love when people sit down in front of the piano that don't know how to play the piano. It's like my favorite thing. It's like, I'm coming from a place of PM of power. I know the key. Yeah. So Shreece is like I feel like there have been a little thifton you. It's like no there's no bit there's been no shift in Monique. You just have readjusted your hoverboard. You've got a flat tire on your hoverboard.
Starting point is 00:46:21 I feel like we're going in circles. Like literally I am just seeing the room go around in circles. Oh, it's the hoverboard. It's like a little Sirrice Protractor. Oh, there. So Sirrice is like, what? I've been calling you and texting you
Starting point is 00:46:38 and you haven't been calling me back. I said, yeah, just yet. Because you know that Hurricane Harvey event, I call all my friends. And then once we got there, it asked because you know that her can't Harvey event I call all my friends and then once we got there It was just about you and it's not like something that we did together and I feel so taken to bam Sure is a it was charity B. This was Monique's drive like you have to get over it She asked you for a favor and you performed and then almost and you want like top billing Now I understand why everyone got so mad at her about that stupid vermita trip when she was
Starting point is 00:47:08 on my phone. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh, too. Yeah, nope. So she's like, well, she's doing me from my friend and she's like, I wouldn't do that. I have thousands of things going on, thousands of things. She's not busy. I am. I'm'm a bit of a not a lazy mom. You're the only woman I care about. She has one of those, she basically cries like I do. We're just like these weird robot sounds come out. Like I would never do that to you because you're the one person I care about. And I would never do that. I would never, and I thought that like when you were patching things up
Starting point is 00:47:43 and just yelling, Garret and Robin, you didn't do me any more. I would never and I thought that like when you're patching things up with just Ellen darling to rob it You didn't do me anymore Which is basically true by the way when he actually got a true point out Which is that so Teresa's being a bitch because Nash is friends with Robin and Just elegance as she can shoot she doesn't have to be around boring asmonic Which is so serious by the way and And you like like did Mike, you like my teeth. Mike, have we ever seen your sister?
Starting point is 00:48:07 Before he locked an attention somewhere. Or the champagne room. So Monique is, she's just, so she's talking about this trip now and how she wants everyone to go to France because this is they can get all their stuff off their chest and come back as different women. I'm like, you don't know, I don't know if you need to go to France that. I mean, heck, if I were invited to France, I would certainly pretend I had shit on my chest
Starting point is 00:48:30 had to cut off, but I don't think you need to go to France for that. Yeah. Oh, and then Monique says, well, actually, just texted me right now. Bink. She said, I am surprised you would have inverted me after not speaking to me at my event
Starting point is 00:48:45 It's like poor Monique's like reading skills. She's like walking around really thinking that Just all things that she's trying to invert her Yeah, so basically yeah, just like I don't know why you didn't invite me But I'm not gonna be coming since you true tried to avoid me. So like why should I go? I'm not gonna come and this goes for Robin as well. Oh Yeah avoid me. So like, why should I go? I'm not going to come. And this goes for Robin as well. Oh, yeah. Fuck both of you. Who's got to beg you to go to France?
Starting point is 00:49:09 Yeah. You're both like the poor bitches on this show. How about you say thank you, France? Yeah. What have you ever done to say sorry to anybody? Both either one of you ever. Really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:19 Exactly. Go to France. It's France. It's really the worst. It's literally the Riviera. It's it's so nice. There's even a city called nice basically. Yes, so they go over to um,
Starting point is 00:49:30 Oh, this open mic thing at Oz and Karen comes in just pretending like you know, when Karen's pretending she doesn't have problems with anybody and she starts talking really high. She's like I'm like a little baby ward. Current huggers here today. Current hugger. Oh, open my, open my, okay, this is good. I hope they have ample security here. Hi, Robin. Hi.
Starting point is 00:49:57 Robin's a good ease of bathroom. So then the mom comes and she, the Ashley's mom in wearing some plastic wakers. So I think the world. Yeah. And Ashley's like, I haven't seen you in two months. She goes, oh, it's been wild. It's been wild. It's been really, really great. I got a choice to whip wig.
Starting point is 00:50:18 And I am learning that three is company. Three is company. And Ashley says, you're in such familiar. And she goes, yeah, I went through all your stuff. I was like, wow, this is great. I was like, oh, that's nice. Looks like that separation's going well. Also, I have to talk about Jizz L's outfit.
Starting point is 00:50:36 It looks like someone tore holes in her shirt. It was like, she had an encounter with a Wolverine on her way over to Oz. Like, she literally was like, well, I'm going to place called Oz I'm gonna find Hugh Jackman. He's Australian and I'm gonna talk to him first and he's like He's actually he's a very method actor. Yeah, he's like taking you by that of crime. So it just else like Yeah, well, I got my invitation that goes, did you guys get mimes too? She goes, I thought he was home with the staff.
Starting point is 00:51:08 I was about to bang him in the face. So, but Jacelle says something very funny. And she was like, she's saying, she's talking about how she's not going to go. And she's like, the invitation wasn't even luggage friendly. She said, pack your Louis Vuitton. I mean, Karen can't come now. Oh, Karen just can't come. Karen can't come.
Starting point is 00:51:27 It was like very hilarious. You want to come she goes you come to black hawkus and ignore me. You invite Kendall to a party and you want me to go to another country with you. No man Pam not interested. We use Pam to cook our food. So Candice arrives, there's nothing, Candice is just arriving. And she's like, oh! And then, so now Karen is confronting Robin. And they're hashing stuff out, you know, because Robin just called her a liar at the caucus thing and then Karen cut the kick them out for revenge or whatever. And it's like I had lunch with Giselle and we brought up the kick them out for revenge whatever and like I had lunch with
Starting point is 00:52:05 Giselle and we brought up the discord with you Robin anything you would like to vent you have the floor yeah and Robin's like um okay before you left the event we were coming to that event to tell you you're a liar and you you're too faced. Hmm. What did I lie about? What did I lie about? Hmm. Hmm. What did I lie about? Listen, I said yay, and Siri said yes.
Starting point is 00:52:33 I mean, what could I do? It's technology in 2012, right? No, it's 2018. Well, whatever. Are you done? She goes, no. She goes, well, you will be in a minute. You do not attack my character. Oh
Starting point is 00:52:47 Don't attack my character. Don't you don't attack Siri either. She's a fine lady and she's very educated. All right And then finally Karen's version of apologizing after treating is saying well as a grown woman I have to own the fact that I said yeah, and it wasn't funny to you But apparently you don't get serious humor when she says yes when I said yeah and it wasn't funny to you but apparently you don't get serious humor when she says yes when I say yeah huh good joke Siri good joke I'm sorry you're hurt. So Robyn's like well when it comes to Karen I'm not listening but you know I do have like five free meals in front of me right now so I'm just gonna concentrate on this like Karen's apology made no sense like you didn't get like I'm sorry you didn't find it funny. Like, where was the joke?
Starting point is 00:53:27 The joke is your lie. Your lie is actually hilarious, you know? Let's see Karen. Let's see your terrible apology. She's like, I'm sorry that Siri made your life living hell. Okay. She basically cobbled together phrases that are used in apology and strung them together,
Starting point is 00:53:44 but they didn't make any sense. She said, as a grown woman, which is like, like, beginning of ramping up an apology, and then she says, I have to own the fact that I said, so that's also another like piece of an apology, and then she says, you know, it wasn't funny to you, which is another apology piece, and then she says, I'm sorry you're hurt, which is nice, but, together it's like does not make any sense. I as a grown woman I have to own the fact that I said yay. It wasn't funny to you. I'm sorry you're hurt What it just sounds like an apology, but it really isn't yeah, I said yay to you and you heard yes So I apologize you heard yes, and by heard you saw it tied out clearly legible clear as day
Starting point is 00:54:23 So then as if that's not messy enough, we get the act. What the hell is going on in this town? I would be terrified, I'm terrified of this town, but I've seen these acts. Yeah, it was very intense. First we had a trans lady and she's like, and Karen's like, oh Lord, oh Lord, I don't even have the energy to call security on this one.
Starting point is 00:54:41 I'll just have to endure it. And then a lady, just just crazy people. Yeah. Crazy. And then these rappers, these rappers come out and like, we only see like three seconds of them. And just like, no, no, please just bring us to Akari already. And it's such a jazel this. Cause she's like, will I be purchasing these albums on iTunes for 99 cents? No, it's 98 cents, too expensive for me. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:06 And then she starts laughing at herself. I'm like, you know, you're just calling yourself poor, right? See if she was smart, she would've said, there's 97 cents, too expensive for me, because, and those are my two cents. Get it. Check it out. That's way too expensive. That's way too expensive.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Yeah, some pecuniary humor. So many layers. Yeah. So Monique's like, you know what? This bickering is out of hand. I has some pecuniary humor. So many layers. Yeah. So Monique's like, you know what? This bickering is out of hand. I need to be a bigger person. May I please take you to France? Please, may I take you to France?
Starting point is 00:55:33 Please. And Jacelle's like, well, what you're saying is, you were mean to me, the Black Caucus event. And I didn't appreciate it. And she's like, well, I didn't come to your event and then start drama with you. So I was trying to respect you by saying out of drama at your business event. And she's like, what you're saying? That sounds like a little girl. Yeah. And she's like, you could have just said hello.
Starting point is 00:55:58 I'm gonna say, well, first of all, you didn't even invite me. So I didn't want to like show up and it'd be awkward and invade, you know? So finally, just to realize realize is like oh, yeah Whoops, and then I think at some point just I was like wait a second Am I really protesting going to the South of France? Okay, so she's like well if I go to the South the France I want to hang out with Robin nah, and you know, but he's like that's fine. I don't care Yeah, she's like if I go I'm just hanging out with Robin to do whatever we want to you, which is like, okay We'll go for your birthday, but if we don't talk to you then we're not gonna talk to you
Starting point is 00:56:32 But we'll take the free plane tickets. Yeah, which now we know it's a housewives show and I'm imagining that Monique isn't paying for this Not for it, right? I can't imagine So so now Michael arrives because Michael hasn't been there yet, which was almost a source of drama, because Ashley was preparing a big surprise for Michael all this time. So he shows up and she's like, I'm 100% committed to Michael and the marriage. I'm going to show it tonight. I'm like, what are you was, are you going to like be like
Starting point is 00:57:07 slitting your wrist and like pouring your blood down his throat? Like what sort of commitment could come out of open night? Mike Knight, what at this point? A little turns out, a terrible song. Yeah, so I'm guessing this is an original. I would say so probably. Before they start singing, though,
Starting point is 00:57:23 Sheila sits down next to Michael. And I was like, get closer here. Come on, come so, probably. Before they start seeing the Sheila sits down next to Michael. And I was like, get closer here. Come on, come on Michael. He's like, well, it's an Aussie. I tend to like Sheila's. But not she, not she. No, no, no, no, no. Maybe it's a Sheila.
Starting point is 00:57:37 I can't get my horn Sheila. Oh, oh Sheila. That for Derek, Derek was like, please mention O Sheila this song. I was like, you wish my friend Oshila. So yeah, so he is being a dick and won't speak to Sheila. And as he's like, I'm sick of being in the middle. I'm like, then why did you see yourself in the middle? Like, yeah, weirdo. So then Ashley gets up and she, her announcement for this song, she's like, Hi, I'm Ashley. This is dedicated to my husband. And we go through a lot of
Starting point is 00:58:05 perils in our relationships. So this is dedicated to those. Look, wow, how romantic. Yeah, I know, all the perils. So then she starts seeing this song. I didn't really catch any lyrics. The only lyric I caught was her saying, coffee and love tastes best when it's hot. Yeah, that's what I wrote down, and then I typed after that, I'm not writing down anymore. Me too, I was like, I refuse. I will say her voice was better than I thought it would be,
Starting point is 00:58:35 but it still was not, not where it needed to be. Yeah, then it should have been a little better than what. Ashley is not gonna pay her a bill singing the Michael, but I appreciate it for what it is a woman singing at her husband And then Robin's doing this she's like It's not as good as the time I sang Vanessa Williams to on Sometimes this song goes round the moon. Sometimes this snow comes down in June. I can't make you love me if you don't. You can't make your heart feel something. It won't.
Starting point is 00:59:21 I'm too tired to finish this song. So Ashley finishes her song and she says, if this isn't focusing on the good, I don't know what is. What could be better? I'm like, oh, anything. Anything? You literally are making us focus on the bad right now. So Karen is like, bye, goodbye. I heard that.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Goodbye. And then Monique's like, well, I want to talk to Robin. Robin, I would like you to come to France. And if you accept, you do. And if you don't, you don't. But I want to just make sure that you've seen the part of me that's not just temper. OK, let's get on the same page together.
Starting point is 00:59:56 Same blog page. I'm not a lady mom, which I made a video of on my couch and almost had my daughter in the face. I was like, well, are we going to sell? And she's like, yes, because we're gonna do what we want with each other. Then they give high fives and then they ignore money. These girls are horrible.
Starting point is 01:00:12 Yeah, yeah, they are. They really are. Oh, but thank God. Thank God. Thank God, thank God they're awful because we're getting a great season out of them. Geez. Okay, everybody, well, thanks so much for listening today
Starting point is 01:00:25 We will be back tomorrow with the real housewives of New York City Coming this season trailer. Yeah, and we're off for the fourth, but then we've got We're gonna be previewing the Dallas trailer on Thursday and the Shaw's trailer on Friday and Bonus week. Yeah, you said you do it. It's good. The bonus this week is a vaner Southern Charms Evanna. So go listen to that. And go, we'll have our new t-shirts up this week.
Starting point is 01:00:54 It's a surprise with they all. And get your tickets from Missouri. Here's the city in St. Louis. We'll see you guys there next week and have a great holiday weekend, people. Yeah, have a great time, everyone. Be safe and we'll see you guys there next week and have a great holiday weekend people. Yeah, have a great time everyone. Be safe and we'll see you tomorrow. Bye. Bye.
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