Watch What Crappens - RHOP: A Swing(er) and a Miss

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

Ashley and Candiace have it out about Michael wanting to suck a d on this week's Real Housewives of Potomac, but it doesn't stop Ashley from descending on gay pride to scream about her husban...d not having said pride himself. To hear this week's premium bonus breakdown of the new RHOC trailer, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Cleveland, Baltimore, Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. The Bay Area Betches! Betches!
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Starting point is 00:01:04 Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird just saying okay crispy wow reading dowry Kelly Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high low here the Homer with Jeffrey Boomer Hannah God I love that banana Anderson and our super premium Patreon subscribers mean a kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi! Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. The incredible edible Matthews sisters. Lulu Simon.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Soon, soon studio. Give him hell, Miss Noel. Kelly Stump. The Stump Master. Always ready for Nicole Passa Ready. One day your Rachel's in. In the next eight, your out. We're all in with Julia
Starting point is 00:01:45 Conlon. Yes, we can with Howley, Carolyn and Anne. Nancy, Ceasen, Desisto. We love you guys. I'm Ronny Caraman as usual. You can find me over at the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast for a little while here. And then here I am with Mr. Ben Mandelger of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island on YouTube. Hi, Ben. Hey, what's going on? Not a darn stinkin' thing. What are you doing? I'm sitting here enjoying some coffee and I am Really excited to say that we are going back to Atlanta, Georgia for I think it's one maybe two shows I have to double check at least one show we are so excited October 12th We had an absolutely amazing time in Atlanta last time I mean it helped that we went to swinging Richards not gonna lie a little bit of dog will always make things fun.
Starting point is 00:03:09 But we had amazing shows there and we are so psyched to be going back this fall. Yes and in a couple weeks we're gonna be in Cleveland, Pittsburgh and Baltimore. That's the 25th, 26th and 27th of July. So come to those. Baltimore, that's the 25th, 26th and 27th of July. So come to those. And here's the rest of our shows. I'm going to do it real quick. Everybody, so listen for your town. We're going to Charlotte, Nashville, Carbureau, Richmond, Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Chicago,
Starting point is 00:03:34 and Chicago, New York, and New York, and then St. Louis, Philadelphia, and Philadelphia, and then Seattle, Washington. So we've got tons of live shows coming up. You can find ticket links over at watchupcrapins.com. There's a calendar there and ticket links. And that's also where you'll find links to our store where we've got new shirts this week going up. So go get those.
Starting point is 00:03:55 Also, we do two videos per week, two video recaps. We are doing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Season Finale, and Real Housewives of New York, or Union Part one this week. You can find those videos over at Crappens on demand on Patreon. And our bonus this week is a breakdown, minute by minute breakdown of the Real Housewives of Orange County season trailer that was just dropped last week. So for all that stuff, go over to watch what Crappens.com.
Starting point is 00:04:23 And also the Atlanta show, the tickets go on sale to the public on Friday. We did sell out last time, so make sure you get your tickets. And of course, we have a Patreon pre sale. That's actually going to start on Wednesday. So the pre sales on Wednesday, public on Friday, get your tickets while you can. Okay. So now let's move on to today's recap, which is real housewives of Potomac. Let me just get my butter knife ready. There we go. Okay, got it.
Starting point is 00:04:51 Ready? Well, I'm glad you have that butter knife in your mother's house. How dare you? How dare you? How dare you? This is not my mother's house. This is just a house that my mother subsidizes. 95% of how dare you do not bring my mother or butter into this. Oh God, so we pick up in the middle of the fight we left off on last week where Candy-ass has just thrown her butter knife and actually, in the qu case of the cookoff happening at Chris's and candy asses house.
Starting point is 00:05:27 Yeah, and the timing could not be worse because Chris is trying to make a risotto and now he has to leave his risotto station to go control his wife. So he goes over and he's pretty much like grabs her and tries to sort of shove her into a room. He's trying to, it's like trying to tame a wild animal and a little turban. And he's just like trying to shove her in there and he's like, listen, you are letting someone else
Starting point is 00:05:52 control your emotions. And she's like, you will not, you will not speak to me. I have to listen. You got to, she's going nuts. And she's like, you will not discuss my mother in my house. You want to talk about mama's ass? And that's a good time to point out that you know Candice gets nasty on the show, but she gets nasty or No, where else than Twitter. I mean my god. She gets nasty. Oh man. So I think I'll say had her baby yesterday
Starting point is 00:06:19 So congratulations on your baby She's like giving birth and meanwhile Candice is on Twitter saying You're a rote. Now this is a misquote because I'm not reading the tweet, but she said something like you want to talk about where my money comes from? Rote, you make your money on your back to get your to pay for your mama, and she's putting effort into it. You know, yeah, and she's giving her shit for paying her mother's rent. And I'm like, yeah, but that's like a nice thing to do as a child to help your parents out. It's actually a good thing to do. You fucking moron. It's actually not even like, honestly,
Starting point is 00:06:55 if Candace's mom pays the house while they're trying to get their shit together, I have no problem with that. I mean, that's, it's fine. I think it's actually a beautiful thing if a parent can provide for a child, you know? But what I have a problem with that. I mean, that's fine. I think it's actually a beautiful thing if a parent can provide for a child, you know? But what I have a problem with is Candace acting, like, she's ready to be independent
Starting point is 00:07:13 and yet it seems like she keeps going back to it. Like, it's, I don't know. I don't know. It's, it comes off in Candace's situation. It comes off as spoil child behavior. Not like, you know, the parent is like happy to provide for their child. They like the feeling of being part of their child's life. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Well, it's like credit. It's like credit. You know, like Capital One gives you money to buy
Starting point is 00:07:36 things and you're so happy. But when they call and they're like, remember when we gave you that money, it's like, fuck you Capital One. Stuff fucking calling me every day. You know, so I think that's basically how the mom is stealing right now. So where are people yelling, fuck you capital one. Stuff fucking calling me every day. You know, so I think that's basically how the mom is stealing right now. She's like, why are people yelling fuck you capital one and hanging up on me? Yeah, so at this point, so at this point, Candace is like,
Starting point is 00:07:54 she's in the corner. It's been like, like round one of the bout is over. Chris is like wiping her down. He's like squirting her with a little bottle and everything and Karen comes over to give like a pep talk. She's like, mmm, sweet, hot. hard you know you said what you had to say this is your home. It's your home I mean it's got beautiful. I don't see the tube TVs. I don't understand what they are But it's your home and don't reduce yourself to anyone's level. Okay, it creases you. I'm gonna walk away
Starting point is 00:08:18 Thanks Karen Don't let anyone let you step out of who you are Like thanks for the the micro peptalk Karen that was really effective. I'm just step over here to say you are you are and I am what I am Bye I'm gonna go over here and stare at this little contraption that people are talking to this not wired into the wall Not really can not really sure what this is Listen into the wall. Not really can not really show what this is. Listen, listen. Listen, Candace, the truth is you just have to pay attention to the facts. As in, where is your facts machine? I haven't been able to find it around here. Now listen, if you're mad at the way someone's talking to you and you're on home, you tell
Starting point is 00:09:01 them to get their horse and buggy and trot on out of here. Listen, you have to give someone enough rope that they can hang themselves with it or as we do in my house, enough of the phone cord that they can hang themselves with that. I think it's not all tangled up. It happened with his modern phones. So Ashley is mad, you know, she's like walking around the room while Candace is getting told to calm down by everybody else over in the corner Yeah, just a messy ass to sell like so mess there was an issue what she spoke of earlier around It speaks to why she thinks your life and your relationship is fortunate
Starting point is 00:09:36 But yeah, basically Basically what she said well, I mean it's something that Robin had said so when you know Robin was there So you're at Robin you take the floor you take it from me you rock and Robin's like what? Yeah, well, I thought that I was dreaming but it L2 Michael walked past us and he said I'd suck his dick Yeah, he did Um, are you just so drunk that you're dreaming? Robin? Cause I'm dreaming of Michael tonight walking by me Wanting to suck some dick So, well it was like the Twilight Zone, but it happened
Starting point is 00:10:17 So, well who was he talking about then? And then we get flashes, it's like, was it Chris? It's like Clue, like trying to figure out what man could Michael want to suck off The fact that it might be Ray is like I don't know how to process that Didn't Robin say in that didn't she say in the beginning of the season that it was one? I assumed it was one yeah, I'm still assuming it's one, but I mean it could be Chris. I assumed it was one. Yeah, I'm still assuming it's one. But I mean, it could be Chris. I think it was set in this way.
Starting point is 00:10:49 She's like, God, you love my husband too much. I'm sorry. He's not coming. He's like, yeah, I love him. I wish he was coming. He's my bro. I'd suck his dick. I'd love that guy.
Starting point is 00:10:57 That's what I think happened. I mean, one is cute. Like, one is hot. So like, it seems like one would be a good contender because I mean, who else is there? There's no one left. It's just the three of them, right? Yeah, but I think it was just saying it like,
Starting point is 00:11:11 oh God, I love that God, so his dick, you know, just kidding. I mean, come on, people. I'm sure. I'm honestly, with Michael, you can never tell, but I think I would not be surprised if your take is correct. I can imagine that like. Well, but then it changed us later in the episode, my take is correct. I can imagine that.
Starting point is 00:11:25 Well, but then it changed us later in this episode, my take. But for this scene, that's where I'm at. I'm like, yeah, it just seems like it was a joke or whatever it is. Yeah, I mean, Michael, I mean, he has had some sort of, like, questionable behavior when he grabbed Andrews ass, and could chalk it up to some sort of weird cultural thing or like being like super
Starting point is 00:11:46 at ease with one's own sexuality, you know, but it is like some eyebrow raising behavior. So I could see him making a joke that is like, is it a joke or is it an in truth, like truth ingest joke, you know, or truth ingesting, you know, as in like he wants to ingest that truth very badly. If that truth was a dick, he would totally want to ingest that truth. So, Robin does this thing that I hate. She's like, I don't care if you're straight gay or purple. Why do we always get dragged into the purple people's plight? Why would we have that? That's like a saying, like, I don't care if you're gay, I don't care if you're purple.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Like, why do we have to always be in the same fight as the purple people? I'm sick of fighting for purple people. Let purple people fight their own fucking fights, okay? Also, it's like, it doesn't match the rest of the, like, analogy. Like, gay, straight, purple is not a sexual orientation. Okay. There's so many letters in LGBTQ, like there's so many, it's like a joke almost, like about how the letters in it, like choose another letter, like why is purple to go to? Well don't worry, purple will be in there. I know, we just can't identify it. It'll be, and you know, it's good, that's a good thing about gayness, so it's inclusive, you know, so it'll be LGBTQ to purple. I'm attracted to purple, so
Starting point is 00:13:04 I'm a purpleist. But until then, stop bringing purple people up and gay arguments. Piss us me off. Robin. Meanwhile, Grimis is somewhere crying. Like, it felt nice to be included for once. I know.
Starting point is 00:13:16 I thought for someone stands up for me. And then I get pissed on by some podcast. Teddy Mellon camp in the Grimis costume. It is, too. I'm accountable for all of the cookies. The grime. So, okay, so Candice comes back and Chris is like, God damn it, now the risotto is overcooked.
Starting point is 00:13:33 I'm like, I don't think it was gonna be. He says that if it was like his like three star, three Michelin star risotto has now gone to shit. I'm like, I think it's probably okay. Yeah, and then so money's like Hi, I'd like to know whose husband he wanted to suck off I mean if it's one of our husbands, I think we should know like oh yeah god So then Candace is like yep, yep. Well, I guess you heard he said he wanted to suck a dick
Starting point is 00:13:58 We all heard it and actually like here is simple 10. I don't even want to hear from you Oh simple to pulling out the old Simpleton card. I'm speaking the truth. The truth. Like you go and get the Amistad. Like she somehow like drags the Amistad thing into it. I was like, I don't know how those two concepts like work. But like, Ashes like whatever.
Starting point is 00:14:21 If you're gonna be messy, I'm gonna be messy. And like, tenuously link two different arguments together in one. Yes, so then Ashley's like you say I'm I'm read because I talk behind my friends back But then you go to joselle about something you could have talked about to your friends So joselle's just eating her salad and so is Monique by the way when the almas hot thing comes up Monique's just eating her salad. And so is Monique. By the way, when the almasad thing comes up, Monique's just looking at her salad. Like, does anyone have any dressing? We pass it salt, salt, this is delicious food. What was that about almasad?
Starting point is 00:14:52 Oh, yeah, no, okay, no, I didn't say almasad. I said, pass the French dressing, thank you. Yeah, it's a Chiselle's eating her salad, but she doesn't want the fight to stop so she can keep eating. So she's like, but Ashley, I think that you should address the egregiousness of Michael wanting to suck somebody's dick. Only on this show is that a sentence. I know. I think it should address the egregiousness of Michael wanting to suck somebody's dick. I know. It's like, okay, Rachel Maddo, like calm down, like moderating this, like the great, like
Starting point is 00:15:22 how it's worth to be. This is egregiousness, gorgeous miss please and can this is like I don't care. He's purported suck penises I love this when they start talking formally to make their points Like he is purported. He is purported. What has transpired is that he is purported to have sucks penises and where there is smoke There's penis sucking. Okay, and there's been enough smoke in this penis sucking household, all right? And Ashley's like, You mean this household, that's mom's household? And Karen's just like, Facebook, Facebook.
Starting point is 00:15:56 And Candace is like, Don't you talk about this household? You are disrespectful. I invited you into my home. You can get the fuck out. Yeah. So Chris has to grab her again. And he's like, sit down, Candace.
Starting point is 00:16:08 Just sit down and then he sits on her to try and keep her down. It's like a prop dance. Give me a lap dance while the risotto is like turning into like little, little burnt balls. Yeah. And so she keeps wiggling free. And she's like, don't you have anything to do, Ashley? And now she's like, I do.
Starting point is 00:16:25 I have plenty of things to do. And I will go doing because she can't have an adult conversation. So Ashley leaves for the first time. And then Candace goes, oh, you know what? You can try me in that kangaroo restaurant. But do not try me in my own home. I'm finally turned to my home. I gave her a beverage.
Starting point is 00:16:43 A beverage. A beverage. A beverage. Fun fact. This weekend I started watching Love Island, the British one, and I started with season five, because I don't know why. And there's a girl on there who's trying to make a bed, like as in a beverage, like slang, like, oh, he's real bev. He's a bit. Oh, he's my bev. I like him, he's bev, tastic. And it's like, so when she said beverage, I was like, oh, no, don't say beverage. I'm like, stay fat. La la la, I'm like, leave me alone.
Starting point is 00:17:13 So, god. Okay, so now, so Ashes outside, and Giselle goes out there with her, and Giselle is like, she's like, well, so let's talk though. So did this, did he act, did Michael say this thing? And she's like, no, none of it happened. Of course not, you know, yeah, she was so wasted. How does she even know what she heard? And she's like, oh, no, she heard it because Robin
Starting point is 00:17:35 co-signed, that Robin co-signed and Robin wouldn't lie. And they said that when it happened, you knew it happened. And you scurried away. And Katie's behind them, by the way, like cleaning her nails. Yeah. Katie, and she scurried away. And Katie's behind them, by the way, like cleaning her nails. Yeah. Katie, she's doing weird things the background of every scene, because like, if you, like, I think it was like, maybe a little bit after this or before this, during the fight, there was like a shot of Katie in her chair with her head just like cocked over to a side, like her, like her neck muscles just all gave out.
Starting point is 00:18:00 She's like, yeah, I think Katie had some edibles or something, because her eyes are half closed in this whole thing. And she's just like cleaning her nails. Like, yeah, I think Katie had some medibles or something because her eyes are half closed in this whole thing. And she's just like cleaning her nails. Like, can we leave now? I get paid for this, right? Yeah. And Ash is sitting, Ash is trying to form this very strange argument where she goes, no one can listen to someone
Starting point is 00:18:16 who's still having a rent paid for. Like, oh, what? I was like, where is her mom anyway? And she's like, well, I don't think that's very nice, Ashley. But by the way, the other day, her mom and doctor up side the head with her purse. And then Katie's like, I think she wants you to stay. I think you should want to stay.
Starting point is 00:18:35 You should stay. And then inside, it shows Candice like, she better not bring my mother into this again. And cuts back and Katie's like, yeah, stay. And just like stay. We'll get her to apologize. Did you just do an e-bend? Okay, let's stretch it up girl.
Starting point is 00:18:52 We've only gotten through salad. We've got a whole night to go. And then meanwhile, Karen's like, hmm, I know if you're gay, cool. If your wife wants you to be a beard, cool. And then they show all these headlines of like Michael Gay rumors you know which was sort of like the production co-signing what Karen is saying etc. Karen goes so he's feeling over a dinkling that wasn't in the room and Rama goes yes she goes well that's hard addiction that is hard addiction so he's feeling over a dingo ling that was in the rail
Starting point is 00:19:27 Yeah, this fucking so so Jazeal brings Ashley and Katie back in and just like see they've moved on to other topics other topics See they're only talking about Michael being possibly gay, but this is different than him wanting to suck someone's dick different topic Different topic. She's like everybody's back, and Candace is like, why is everybody back? Get off of me, Chris! Get off of me, Chris! Get off!
Starting point is 00:19:50 If you're still talking shit about my mother, get out of my house! Hesley! I think it's very rude of you to set back into a home after she asked you to be able to. And I asked you like, well, there are rumors about my husband, Kern, and I will discuss them here and now. So then they come up to this agreement that she's gonna
Starting point is 00:20:09 discuss the rumors and then leave. So then Ashley sits down and again, now she puts on her like Perry Mason hat and she's like, so in your state of intoxication, you're telling me, you are capable of remembering. So now she's an intoxicated drunk who can't remember anything. Can you remind your business, Candice? I am, I'm not in my own business.
Starting point is 00:20:33 I'm asking my friend a question. And Karen's like, so asks his like, Well, you, Mrs. Robin, well, Miss, elaborate on what supposedly was said when you were too intoxicated to possibly know any English. And Robin's like, actually, I wouldn't make that up. Yeah. So Chris is like, if I can interject, I don't like to involve myself in women's issues. Which is like, okay. Which is like okay
Starting point is 00:21:11 But when it was said Robin and I were both like oh and Candace is like see he even heard it and he's a man Yeah, and Karen goes hell you have a man as a witness. We are done. We are done a man has testified Case closed Now she's like it did not happen Candace is like you lie you were standing there you heard it So you were so drunk you were laying on the street Robin was so drunk that she spent 10 10 months on a house Two weeks, Karen just starts going I'm just gonna clap a man testifier the man you heard the man. Let's hear it for the boy Or should I say let's hear it for the man, the man testimony, man witness, man witness. So Candace stands up and asks, she's like, just sit down, crawl
Starting point is 00:21:49 up. And if I need to stand on this table, I will. So she starts crawling on the table and then Chris takes her out again. Yeah. I mean, it is for anyone who has never seen soap dish, this is bad as close as a recreation of a scene as we could ever get. I mean, Candice and the Turban, Sally Field Style, as she is being pulled out with legs kicking like she did, like halfway through during the big twist in that movie. I mean, it was exactly that scene. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:22:20 And she says, like, well, Ashley, do you think that it's something that he might say and care of like listen There's nothing wrong with being gay. It's cool. Who doesn't love gay people? We love them. Oh, but just have the conversations. Say Michael you're gay. Yay Listen, it's no different from being purple am I right everybody? And just, as girlfriends, if we hear something on the streets, especially the super gay streets, we want to be able to come to you,
Starting point is 00:22:51 just the way Michael might come while sucking someone's dick. That's all I've got to say. That's all I've got to say about that. That's what I've got to say. Yeah, if we hear in the streets out that he's cheating, we have to be able to come to you, not that we heard he's cheating,
Starting point is 00:23:05 with anyone with a vagina anyway. And Karen's like, I know what bothers you Ashley. He's like, if it would only bother me if it's true. Well, it would bother me. Ask us to stop because enough is enough Ashley. Ask us to stop right now. You've got a job to do and that job is it.
Starting point is 00:23:22 Oh, ma. Okay, Karen, thanks for showing. I love when Karen and just I'll earth a mature ones in the room I know I know I know you have just beat your husband and now she goes you know what the beauty of being me is I'm in control of me She just smiles like a good girl because you can't control your man I guess I can like, yes, I can. Like your mom controls you. And Candice is like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:23:49 Out, out, out. It's like a cat. You know, it's like out, out, bad cat. OK. Good night, good night. Good night, good night, good night. Good night, good night, happy birthday. You good night.
Starting point is 00:24:01 She's like kicking and screaming and Chris is holding her back. And Ashley's like, I'm in your mom's house right now. She's like, and you're about to get out of good night, Ashley. And she's like, tell your mom, thank you. And so, Ashley leaves and Candace just like slam the door behind her one, two, three, boom. And just slam the door. And then, then Karen is like, Robin, I just want to congratulate you for being the
Starting point is 00:24:26 bone carrier of this evening and Robin's like um I was I thought that was Michael who's the bone carrier or at least the one who wants to suck it hey oh hey oh like let me hug you for that one that was a good one Robin so then Katie gets up and Monique's like, I guess we should talk now. So she pulls her aside and she's like, listen, I just wanted to clear stuff up and Katie gets, look, the reason I wear scarves on my head is I don't have air conditioning and I've been doing my own hair. I'm like, I don't think the issue is about the scarves, but thank you for informing us about that. I think she's saying that she's like, she's like, listen, I don't have money for air conditioning or wigs. Okay, or hairdressers. So that's it.
Starting point is 00:25:11 So then when Monique and Katie are trying to, they're trying to like, hash it out and they're by the front door. And all of a sudden the door opens and Ashley just walks in. She goes, hi there! Like, like, it was like normal. And Monique's like, why are you back? I know, I'm doing here. I think they just, I think they just keep making your go back inside. They're like, listen, it took us five hours to drive here.
Starting point is 00:25:32 You're going back inside. Yes. So then again, like, well, you said, almost thought or something. And she's like, no, the comments and assinuations that have been made to you did not happen. And Katie goes, oh, OK. At which point, Candace comes around the corner. And she's like, you have been told to you did not happen and Katie goes, oh, okay. At which point Candace comes around the corner and she's like, you have been told
Starting point is 00:25:51 to leave. And I asked, she's like, I'm Monique is addressing this. She starts to become like an advocate for Monique in this situation. Like Ashley, don't speak to me. Don't speak to me. And then you see Karen going, oh, Lord, oh, Lord, oh, Lord, I never seen a woman come back and that she's been kicked out of, oh, anti-clap, anti-clap. I'm gonna have to type out some rules and frame them in a rough stress for less frame
Starting point is 00:26:15 to give the other than her home so she can remember what's proper, ah, mm-hmm. You know what this party needs? Security, security, security. So Chris, once again, to pull Candace out of there I mean it's like the TV's bloopers and practical jokes cartoon guys with their with their rooms and stuff just try to sweep her away and she just keeps on coming back onto the screen and so Ashley's like okay bye everyone tell your love thanks for the great party and then
Starting point is 00:26:42 Candace is like get out and ask you guys you want me to pop you with the purse. I know you're like being popped in the heads with purses Good old so finally Katie nationally you're driving away and Katie was like um that was not enjoyable Okay, let's go to McDonald's Honestly, great game plan so then then back at the table, Candace, they are all sitting back down again. And Candace was, that was her trying to get me to go off. I'm like, you threw a butter knife at her. You screamed at her.
Starting point is 00:27:13 You threw her out of your house three times. You tried to climb on the table. Chris had to sit on you and pull you around. And like, basically do all, but throw you into the Hannibal Lecter costume. So yeah, I think you actually did go off. Yeah. and just I was like, well, you have to take accountability. She's like, no, because she, me, she, hold on, hold on everybody. Welcome to my completely useless origami class where I hold a poster board into a tiny little square. She's like, she met what she said in disrespect.
Starting point is 00:27:50 She's like she met when she said it disrespect and that is my issue to not come into my house and disrespect me I could have said so much that I've always been so supportive of Ashley Give me a little credit. Why don't you don't come into my house and talk shit I'm like well you invited her with the pretty much the express plan to confront her about the Michael rumor. So I mean, Yeah, I feel for you. And if you don't want people confronting you, this is what bugs me on these housewives shows There's like don't do that in my home. It's like you're filming in your home. They have to be at work You know, yeah, you can't talk some of the skip a shooting day. No, that's money. Okay So Karen's like, hmm Candace. Did your mother hit you? Is this true? Is this, is this story true? And then it gets very, it's like very serious and just like, you know, Candace is very emotional
Starting point is 00:28:34 about her mother. She just got knocked up, said the head by a purse. I said it. I said it. I'm gonna say, yeah, well, I know that you're just set with your mom, but you don't give it to your mom, you give it to Ashley instead. And, yeah, well, I notice you're just set with your mom, but you don't give it to your mom. You give it to Ashley instead. And she says, yeah, I mean, if someone had talked about my mom, I wouldn't have gone there. Yeah, right. Yeah, Miss calm Tazelle over there.
Starting point is 00:28:57 Yeah, exactly. Meanwhile, that's like the number one, the number one and number two triggers on all of Bravo are, like, if you mentioned mother or child, like, don't you dare talk about my child. It's like all I said was child you're crazy. You said child though. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:14 And carrots like well hurt people hurt people. All right. I'm getting paid for this right. And just so it goes yeah, if you must have suck a dick or two, let them do it. Yeah. Let the man do it, which by the way, true. So in the car, really, well, I mean, but okay, I'm not there. Like trying to be more open on this show. They're like, it's not homophobia. We said purple people. Okay. If he wants to suck it if the parameters of their relationship are that they are open then yes i say let them suck it if it's not for the boundaries are whatever the bad news i'm not gonna take
Starting point is 00:29:54 this seriously people all i know is purple people so um uh... so then we go back to the car and kate's like so like uh... is michael gay and she's like no did like is Michael Gay and she's like, no! Did you say that? No, no, he didn't. I mean, no, I'm pretty sure he didn't say that.
Starting point is 00:30:11 I mean, I don't seem to remember. But I think he was talking about a private eye. He wants to see a private eye, a dick, yeah. Katie's like, does he hook up with the guys? Like, no, she was, but then why say suck is dick? Like, but I don't think he did say it. Okay, because maybe it's the most Australian thing. And if I was there, I would remember something like that.
Starting point is 00:30:32 And she's like, yeah, why wouldn't Robin call you? Great friend. And so Ashley's like, you're right. Robin was my friend. She is not my real friend. It's like, you do not need to be doing this right now, Ashley. Yeah, your friends. Yeah, Robin. Yeah, Robin was actually being quiet about it. And Jacelle who forced her out and, you know,
Starting point is 00:30:52 so then we go back and... How's the wife's stuff? I get it because Robin is sitting here talking about it all season long and her private things. Like, well, I'm not going to tell LSU about it because she's my friend, but you still have been talking about it on national TV and not telling her, you know. Well, but we also don't know if those interviews were recorded after the fact, you know, like after this fight. They could have, they could have very well been recorded after this big fight happened and then she's like, okay, I'll talk about it. Yeah, I'll say I've already talked about how this came up and now she knows that Giselle knows at the very least, which she knows is going to come up on camera. So she could have have called Ashley and been like, this is about to come up on camera. Right.
Starting point is 00:31:28 Yeah, so Chris is, well, but the thing is this, the way it came up on camera was that it really should be Jacelle because Candace just dropped the bomb for the first time. No, Candace dropped the bomb for the first time to Jacelle and Robin right before everyone. It was at this dinner party. That's true.
Starting point is 00:31:48 Yeah, that's true. And that's when Rob was like, oh my god, I heard the same thing, which I think is actually a very natural thing to do, you know? Yeah, she didn't, she hadn't talked to Jacelle yet about it. I actually, I actually really don't think Robin is, I think Robin was, believe it or not, trying to be a good friend. So then we go back and Chris is like, ladies and gentlemen, some mushroom risotto.
Starting point is 00:32:09 There's a little bit of a truffle oil, very modern touch. And we call that mommy. So please enjoy. And Karen just looks at it. Did you see how Karen looks at the risotto? She's like, oh, what is that? She does that thing where she starts, you know, basically,
Starting point is 00:32:30 spelling the alphabet with her closed lips, you know, like, always think of it as trying to get like a dog hair off of her mouth, just like, clearing the spinach out of her teeth. Yeah, she's always got spinach in her. security get the spinach out of my teeth. Thank, she's always got spinach in her teeth. Security, get the spinach out of my teeth, thank you. And Robin's like, well, you go back and forth and then here you go here and then you go there
Starting point is 00:32:52 and then there's a contradiction and then the puzzle starts coming together. What the fuck are you talking about? And Candace is like, can we just have some applause for the chef? Oh, good job. Just like, you don't need to have dinner again, Michael. I mean, Chris, this was a disaster.
Starting point is 00:33:08 Rah. So now we, it's like after the party is done, now it's like back to normal life. So we got a few pops of people doing things. We start with Karen and Ray. They're like having lunch or something. And she's like, I've been so busy with my fragrance and the bottle the bottle's taken up a lot of time I've been looking at bottles and fragrances and fragrances and bottles and I'm just gonna give myself a slow clap right now
Starting point is 00:33:33 Good job me good job I'm raised like How do you improve upon a bottle into top? Seriously, I have a new idea we're putting the top on the bottoms. You open up the bottle and it just all flows out. You smell wonderful for days. Did someone say bottom? Hard so acoustic.
Starting point is 00:33:51 Get out of my scene, my girl. My girl get out from under this table. Oh. Oh. So then, Canvas is in the bathroom with Chris. All their big scenes are in their bathroom. I know. It's weird.
Starting point is 00:34:06 She's like, I have to call my mother. Oh. He's like, just call her. So she calls her mom. And she's like, I want you to know we booked an appointment for a family therapist. We're going together. Yeah. And I was like, oh, you know, my favorite thing with Dorothy is how she handles her, like
Starting point is 00:34:22 the reaction whiplash, because Joys has an initial anger and then she becomes keenly aware that she's on TV, so she always tries to realize it. And like, oh, there! But he is wonderful as I am a therapist and this is my vocation, I support it. Yeah, sounds great.
Starting point is 00:34:40 So then we go to Ashley doing yoga in her house and burning sage. And she's like, like yeah after I left Miss Dorothy's house I Told Michael what was sad about him and he was really pissed and Friends just don't do that. He questions wine friends with them and quite frankly. I don't blame him He was so mad. He left and went right to a game or to prove to everyone that he could be in a gay bar and not suck anyone's dick and he was there for hours and hours. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crap-ins commercial.
Starting point is 00:35:15 Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday's parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting, hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story
Starting point is 00:35:43 that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So then, Chris and Monique are in a bar class, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh dinner party in the Michael rumor and he's like, well, I know he wasn't talking about me
Starting point is 00:36:50 He was probably too much of a mouthball Yeah, yeah, it's like yeah, you're doing it. Maybe he was. It was oh stop that it was probably Ray And then he was like oh no, no, I shouldn't even joke about that. He's an older man. It's a lot it was so cute. He's like, it was like a seal, like, you know. I love Chris. Chris amused.
Starting point is 00:37:33 So then Chazelle's in the car calling Ashley and she's like, hello, is this my international pop star? Ha, ha, ha, ha. She can't just say how it goes. I need to check on her. I need to see if Mike looking at the closet I just arrived to ruin her life on camera. I just wanted to see how she's feeling
Starting point is 00:37:57 And as I come over here. It's another street. You can put your word on so Just I'll go to me Ashley outside outside of her choreography rehearsal for her big gay pride show Love and coffee or coffee and love coffee and sex whatever it's called And she's like I needed those indoor fans because that was crazy what happened after I left and Just I was like well Karen ran over you with about ten Said that you're happy with Michael because Michael doesn't love you And then they cut to what Karen said, and that is not what Karen said.
Starting point is 00:38:27 Fucking Jazeal, man. I have to say, Jazeal is being her usual self where she's just burning down everybody around her, but I'm finding her much more enjoyable in this role. Because she's doing it in a way like with this, this like friendly attitude of like, I'm just trying to bring everyone together by sewing misinformation around everyone. It's more fun when she's doing, this like friendly attitude of like I'm just trying to bring everyone together by
Starting point is 00:38:50 sewing misinformation around everyone. It's more fun when she's doing it's like Bethany on Real Housewives of New York. She's so much more fun when it doesn't actually involve her because it's so stressful when it actually involves her. It's really more fun when there are other people's business. Yeah, I really did not think that Karen was being too face. And even if she were, I mean, first of all, Karen really does not like Ashley, which is why she was so happy. Like, that's why when Chris said, yeah, I heard it too. She's like, well, Matt has seen it. You know, she's, she's happy to hear any incriminating evidence against Michael, you know.
Starting point is 00:39:17 Yeah. But that being said, I don't think that Karen was, we've seen Karen come hard for someone, and that was not Karen coming hard for Ashley. Yeah, I'm asking like, we went to a salt place together. I care and was we've seen Karen come hard for someone and that was not Karen coming hard for Ashley. Yeah. And as she's like, we went to a salt place together. I can't believe she would do this to me. She's just as fake and phony as her face and her teeth and her hair and her nails. You name it.
Starting point is 00:39:36 It's like you're not wrong, but I mean, kind of look around you. You're on a real housewives show. Do not start fake body shaming people. Okay. Without fake body parts, there would be no housewives. Yeah. So no, again, Ashley is talking about how Michael is absolutely livid, livid by this. I mean, if I were Michael and it were true, I think I'd be like, nope, but just like that's ridiculous. And I started to change because Michael's reaction is not what it should be. You know, if Michael was innocent and joking,
Starting point is 00:40:07 he would have said, yeah, I said, I love want so much. It's so good. Dick. I was totally kidding. Why are they taking that trying to twist it into something, you know, crazy? But instead he's like, nope, didn't say it. I can't believe they would make up lies about me, which makes him just guilty as fat. And it's weird because his normal reaction to stuff is to just like laugh it off and be like Huh, that's ridiculous, you know, I'm just I'm just all-strialing. That's how we say things And so the fact that he's like all super live it. It's it does
Starting point is 00:40:34 It does feel a little strange. Yeah, the lady death protest Too much as they say Inseka's mirror Whoa, so as she's like well the thing I'm more concerned about is Robin because she didn't have my back as a friend, a person or a purple person. She was like, well, maybe, yeah, she wanted to not hurt your feelings.
Starting point is 00:40:55 And say, oh, but then it's okay to use it when it, when it's okay to let it be used as a weapon against me. Whatever. I'm like, oh, God, the great eggplant rifle of 2019. Come on. Exactly. Well, but the other thing that was, you know, she was, as she was making it sound like Robin was waiting
Starting point is 00:41:12 for the right moment to spring it on her to humiliate her at a table. But actually, it was because Juselle, but Robin on the spot, Juselle was one who said, well, there are many rumors that Robin has been spreading amongst the group. Robin, you say it. Why don't you say what happened? Robin's like, so like it made it seem like Robin was waiting, but no, Robin got totally thrown onto the bus by Jacelle.
Starting point is 00:41:36 Yes. What, you know, she deserves it because when your friend, when your friends with someone like Jacelle and Jacelle does that over and over to other people, it's going to happen to you too. Duh. Yeah. So then Jacelle and Jacelle does that over and over to other people, it's going to happen to you too. DURR. So then Jacelle's like, look Ashley, forget if Michael wants to pee in the sound. Robin, that's not the issue. Robin is just saying that that's not cool if he wants to cheat.
Starting point is 00:41:56 Like he shouldn't be cheating. We love you. We don't want to see you going through anything negative. And Ashley's like, well, it wasn't presented out of concern. It was Malarkey. Which I had then that shin down my spine because as we all know if you say Malarkey three times in a row Brian Malarkey shows up and everything. Oh god, some terrible, some terrible fucking hair piece. And like like shine and buffed cheeks and and more Botox than usual. So just don't ever
Starting point is 00:42:23 say Malarkey three times, okay? Do not. You've already said it three times. Don't say it again, I can't take him. I won't, I won't say it again. So Chisel's like, yeah, her trying to ignore what Michael did and blame Robin instead is classic denial. I was like, it's classic gaslighting by you, making her think this is what's happening.
Starting point is 00:42:42 She's like, we're gonna work through this. We're gonna work through this. We're gonna work through this. So now we get to go to therapy with Candice and Dorothy. Oh, this is great. I love this scene. So yeah, so they're heading to therapy. They're driving in the car. Dorothy is clearly not happy about it,
Starting point is 00:43:00 but she's like trying to play it off. Like she's very open to it because she'd be a hypocrite if she weren't, you know? So she's like, just, I'm trying to do her voice is like oddly like bubbly and nasal just remember I am a professional, we are not going to curse, we're not going to hit below the belt, we're not going to try to cut the white meat. And as we all know you can't do any of those things anyway because I pay for your knives and I your pun to gloves and your ability to curse. This is why I made sure to buy knives that couldn't cut. And this is like those are all things you've done mother.
Starting point is 00:43:36 It's like the Android and Mollady. And so the mom's like, well, you just got recently married and you have your life together. And it's time for me to cut off and move back And it's like oh you say that like it's a threat don't threaten me mother I'm like yeah, she's saying it's time for her to stop supporting you. It's not a threat Okay, you're a fucking adult get a job. Yeah, the fact that you perceived that as a threat Shows that you're projecting certain issues the mom is mom's like you know what? I am realizing I should not be supporting it as much anymore because you have a husband and look at what's shows that you're projecting certain issues. The mom is, this mom's like, you know what?
Starting point is 00:44:05 I'm realizing I should not be supporting it as much anymore because you have a husband and look at what's going on. And you could just see Candice like, as she's driving her hand is like feeling in the center console like. Mother, where's my tissue square mother? Where's my tissue square?
Starting point is 00:44:21 Oh, those, you mean the things I just threw out the window? Mother! mother, where's my tissue square? Oh, those, you mean the things I just threw out the window? Mother! And the mom's like, okay, so this is therapy. Well, thanks, Jacelle. Thanks Jacelle for this referral, you know, and they're just fuming at each other. So the doctor, the doctor Who was this? Who showed up at my door while I was making macaroni and cheese? Who is this? She's like, my name is Candy-ass, okay? And so they come in and the mom's like, oh, I'm a therapist also. And he's like, well, I'm very excited that you've chosen to take this time with me people. I don't know so go ahead Here's some grad rules only one person can speak at a time, okay? And now this is a big one because in this setting you're not the therapist
Starting point is 00:45:14 And then Dorothy is like, I'm very cool with that. I'm cool. I'm just gonna smile I'm very fine with that. I'm cool with that. Yeah, no problem. Speaking to them talk. I was talking Okay, so Dr. Ken didn't do a very good job here. Okay, I don't think what did you think? I was like, Dr. Ken, I don't think so, sir. Okay, I think they're being totally bitchy and this woman has right to defend herself on national TV. Um, yeah, but, but I mean, he had an uphill battle. I mean, here's the thing, she has a right to defend herself, but the rules are, I mean, his therapy at the same time,
Starting point is 00:45:51 or ostensibly therapy, and you have to let Wombers and just at least say how they feel about a situation. And then the mom will get her chance to defend herself. But yeah, so Candice is basically like, when you get upset, you'll say things like, you don't have many friends. You'll say things like, do you like this Chanel purse?
Starting point is 00:46:14 How about on your cheek? Buh, buh, buh, buh. Have this Chanel purse right on your cheek. Ha, ha, ha. And I'm sorry to interrupt you. I was interrupting his door at the I shouldn't. Oh, it fit. It fit. And got to come up. This is trying to moisturize your cheek with my Chanel purse. I mean, what is so wrong with that? How do you feel about this Louis Vuitton bag?
Starting point is 00:46:35 Do you think you might want to see it closer? How about this close? Write up in your eyes directly on them. Nothing kisses you like a Chanel. So the doctor is like, excuse me, this is Candice time. And the mall's like, well, she's the one he does all this, not me. And he's like, you're doing it again. She's like, okay, doctor, can, okay, okay, doctor, can. I mean, you and Chris want me to keep paying all these bills 4,000 a month, but you want me to be quiet and not have anything to say. And which it's, well, I mean, just because you pay the $4,000 does not mean that you really sh- doesn't mean that you're there for entitled. If you're giving that $4,000, that's a gift, right? So you should, you know, no, I disagree. I think she's, I think that do you have a total right?
Starting point is 00:47:20 If she paid for that house, she probably paid the down payment of that house, let's be honest. And now she's paying them $4,000 a month to cover their bills and their mortgage. So yeah, she has the right. If you know what your parents do not talk about how much money they're giving you, get a job. No, I mean, I think that she has the right to say, okay, this is what you should be doing to become financially independent, but I don't think it's there for that money. And titles her to have an like opinion on every single little thing. But then again, they're sort of speaking abstractly, so it's hard to really know what this opinion
Starting point is 00:47:50 situation is about. I mean, is this still like from the wedding, you know, I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But either way, I mean, but Dorthy is like fuming and trying to remain calm and she keeps interrupting and Dr. Ken is getting mad. He's fine. He's like, I don't know if this is how you normally communicate, but that's not healthy, okay? Yeah, it's like this is the problem and then Canvas is like, well, we went to a wedding and they got physical and she goes, that didn't happen, Canvas, that didn't happen. He's like excuse me, ma'am But she's like that didn't happen. You don't have to bring that up canvas
Starting point is 00:48:29 She thought in her anger she should hit me in the head with her purse Which well can this you're lucky because the purse wasn't very heavy on account of me having to spend all my money on you Yeah, then she's like that's not true. You don't need to bring that out. It's not true. It's not true. And then Candice is like, you said when it happened, you said, now what did you say to make me do that? Okay. Yeah. I count with Candice because Candice is sitting here crying like she's in this big abuse storyline. Now like, just five minutes ago, we were watching you having to be restrained multiple times and throwing an eye fit somebody.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Okay. I mean, I, I do believe that Dorothy is kind of a nightmare. Okay, but they're both nightmares. And the thing is this is that Candace, she was like, see, there's no, there's never any accountability. Like she hits me and then she says, now what did you say to make me do that? There's no accountability. I like that. Maybe a fair point, now what did you say to make me do that? There's no accountability. I like that, maybe a fair point,
Starting point is 00:49:26 but there's also not a lot of accountability on your end either. Yeah, and the doctors are very surprised. Either way, the square pie. Where are you crying, Candace, and the mom goes, she always does. And she's like, you diminish me. She's like, I do not. And because if she said that you like to diminish her,
Starting point is 00:49:40 then you do, you do like to diminish her. I was like, is that how it works now? Well, no, no, he didn't, he didn't say that. He actually said, if your daughter says you like to diminish me, then that's reality. As in, like, you can't tell her what, like if she's feeling that you can't say that she's not feeling that. Well, her response is, well, I'm not going to let her come on here and paint me as a villain when I'm taking care of her this whole time. Mm-hmm. And he goes, okay, to be fair to your mother in this season of her life. Is your mother paying her paying your bills? And it's like, yes. She goes, she goes, the only thing that you contribute is a portion
Starting point is 00:50:15 of the mortgage. Oh my bitch, what's that's, that's, that's like a, that's a portion of the mortgage. That means yes, she is supporting you. Yeah, let's go back to that $4,000 number and break down where that goes You know, yeah, and she's like and soon you won't have to do that anymore and that's all you do that is all you do And the fact that you'll sit there and lie and say you pay all my bills that is a form of diminishing me I'm like that is a form of her diminishing her bank account. Okay. Yeah, She's giving you that you're like nitpicking on what she's spending that $4,000 a month on instead of the fact that it was $4,000 a month. I mean, that's crazy. And Droughty's like, um, you're the one who's telling everyone that not me. I'm not the one talking about how much I support you. Yeah. Which is true. Yeah. So Candice is like, I am sick
Starting point is 00:51:02 of talking to a wall. I'm talking to nobody. I'm talking to nobody and she's like literally standing by a wall, like talking to like, no, Candice, come back to the couch. Candice, you literally are a topspirit to a wall, okay? You can solve this easily when you need to talk. Don't walk up to a wall and talk at it. Yeah, so the mom's like, look, this is what you want to go. You want to rage all over me, but then when I want to talk to you and say you're disrespectful,
Starting point is 00:51:27 then you don't want to hear about it. And the doctor's like, you're not doing a good job of listening to your daughter. If that is how you talk them, I understand why there's turbulence on this airplane and the season of your life of relationship flight schools. It's like, I'm mad. By the way, does anyone have a chair with a back on it? I'm getting a little sick of having this very intense posture. Anyone? Anyone?
Starting point is 00:51:46 So Candace is like, I'm no longer interested in dealing with toxicity. And if this doesn't change, I cannot continue. But please do not cancel your auto pay. I'm my mortgage. Because that was that. I mean, to me, it seems like a very simple fix, right? Like, obviously, this, the money situation is what's creating darkness in their relationship.
Starting point is 00:52:11 So like, Darthi should cut off her funding, and then they should be financially independent, and they can take that issue out, and then it should be fine. But of course, you know, we talked a few weeks ago about the the Cartman, Carpman drama triangle, which our listener, Michelle, told us about. And in that triangle, it basically says like when there's drama, there's like three roles that are like that, that take place.
Starting point is 00:52:39 There's the perpetrator. I think it's the perpetrator. Persecutor, the persecutor, the rescuer, and the victim. And Candace is like, to me, as a non-psychiatrist, it seems pretty obvious that Candace is the victim and the mom is like the rescuer. And one of the things that I read about when I was fascinated by this is that the rescuer swoops into like, save the victim, but ultimately has no interest in truly saving them because they want to perpetuate the drama. So like the fun, like giving Candace the money is, is in a way like, oh, I'm here to help
Starting point is 00:53:11 you while you get on your feet, but she's actually keeping her sort of like indebted to her. I don't know who play it, who is the, the persecutor, probably both of them and like all the other women on the show, but I'm like very into just applying that theory to everything on Bravo these days. So that's my two cents. Well to me sometimes therapy is a lot easier and psychology is a lot easier. Like Candice, you're a dick and mom, you're a dick too.
Starting point is 00:53:34 So if you both stop being dick to each other, then this can change, okay? And also, you know, the old standby get a job. So that's what I said. Get a job. You know that, I think at the end of the day, that's really where this needs to go. Get a job. Candice needs to get a job and the mom needs to get a job. So that's what I said. Get a job. You know, that I think at the end of the day, that's that's really where this needs to go. Get a job. Yeah, Candace needs to get a job and the mom needs to get a life that doesn't involve, you know, her daughter's dramas. Also, they're like,
Starting point is 00:53:54 all this all this drama is about like the mortgage on a very unremarkable townhouse. Like how about just like move somewhere that's more affordable. Robin it Yeah, so then we go to Ashley getting her makeup done for gay pride and She's like this is so different from Miss America. I might be classy, but I can trick like the best of them I'm like we know we remember your first episode Yeah, exactly and she's gonna be wild. She's gonna get blue eyes shadow so then meanwhile on a party bus, Robin and Giselle and Cal are heading to Virginia Pride to support Ashley.
Starting point is 00:54:30 And Robin is not only there to support Ashley, but she's also there to support purple people because she's wearing a purple wig. See? Yeah. Whether it's M&Ms, purple people, homosexuals, I'm here to march. It's like, so she's like,Ms, purple people, homosexuals, I'm here to march. It's like, mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:54:45 So she's like, well, you know, the party was crazy and she tells like, yeah, well, you know, well, here's how it started, Cala. As she walked in and gave some funny shades, you know, she said I love your mom's house, which was shade, but it was funny. But then Candice had a butter knife and she shook it. Cal's like, wait a minute.
Starting point is 00:55:05 Okay, so when you guys are saying to me that Michael, the straight man who is married, he said that he wanted to suck someone's penis and then he makes like a dick sucking motion with his hands. Yeah. And Robin's like, this is the awkward stop. And he's like, who is he talking about? He's like, cause it's me, because I'll be fine with it.
Starting point is 00:55:30 Cal's cute. I've always really enjoyed Cal. So then Ashley FaceTime's with Jacelle and she's they're all happy. She's like, oh, I can't wait for you to come. And then Jacelle turns the camera around. And it's like, look who else is here supporting purple people And as she's mad, you know, and she's like well I'm I do them fight both of them, but I don't know why Robin would come after being so mean to me And so Robin's like well, I can understand her being confused because like I didn't get to explain, you know I we can talk about why it came up and why didn't bring it up to her first. I mean, I don't care if he's gay
Starting point is 00:56:10 Yeah, and just goes well, I think what she's really mad about is how it came up. I'm like you are how it came up You man, so we are now at gay pride We're Ashley is with Casanova her brother to seeing the famous We're Ashley is with gas anova her brother to seeing the famous Chart topping hit coffee love and purple people Coffee purple people like it hot it's best with sugar when it's on tap And Jacelle's trying to be supportive, but she's Jace else so she's like this is the best sibling composed love song to a husband who wants to suck a penis that you've ever seen or heard
Starting point is 00:56:51 it's all very confusing to me yeah we'll put that that poll quote on the on the singles cover give it give that well give that blurb to pitch for now. Here is Kelly Clarkson to present the award for a best sibling composed love song to a husband who wants to suck a penis that you've ever seen or heard There'll be a new category in the crappies So Ash is like I have fans who are excited to see me and who knows maybe I could go on to being a major world tour sometimes Wow, I'm so proud of Ashley. She really is, Beyonce. Lemonade made with penises. Listen, when life sends you husband who wants to suck penises, you make penis aid. And drink it up, apparently. And purple people.
Starting point is 00:57:38 Shut up, Robin. No, purple people have rights too. I'm sick of seeing those sunny-deak commercials where they just disparaged purple drink. So now it's after the show and Robin and Ashley, like, actually comes up and like is like saying hi to them. Like, thanks for coming and she and Robin start having a conversation. Yeah, so now, of course, it's a housewife show. So let's go to gay pride and then argue about how somebody's not gay at gay pride Come on guys. Yeah, yeah, exactly So as she tells says that Robin was using the dinner party as an opportunity to attack her and Robin at that moment Should've just said like no here's what happened, but then instead she goes um
Starting point is 00:58:23 Did you not say did you not hear what Jezele said that like a sword with Candace speaking and then she said, Robin, we'll tell the rest. I'm like, Robin, that's not how you defend yourself. That's like confusing and it doesn't and it does not deescalate anything if anything it sort of escalates it. Yeah. And so it's like, they're talking about me.
Starting point is 00:58:41 Yeah. And she was like, just stay out of the conversation to yourself for one time in your life. He's like, I don't want to have to sit and listen to you complain about this conversation for the next three below outs. Yeah. So Ashley's like, well, Candace is saying it's something things about my life
Starting point is 00:58:57 and you added on to it. She's like, oh, I'm like, by no signing. She said, here's a false document. And now you're co-signing it. It's like, yeah. Robin don't co-signing! She said, here's a false document and now you're co-signing it! It's like Rob and Don't Co-sign Lies, okay? That really happened. Here's what I do co-sign. Old houses, that will be worth $500 by the time I'm done with them. That I will co-sign. I don't co-sign. My mother, however, co-signs. So she's like, here's this girl who has no problem talking shit about other people's life,
Starting point is 00:59:27 and then we get a beautiful montage of actually getting into everybody's business. And I have to say, this is true. Actually, it's a little too defensive over this. Like, this is what you've done all of your time on this show. Your turn. Yeah, exactly. So then, yeah, so basically, Ashley just like goes off on Robyn and and is like there's obviously no friendship between the two of us and they were not real friends blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and Robyn's like, Heard a gay play festival. Why would it bother you? I hate Bob Ball. Look, I just did it.
Starting point is 01:00:07 It's so stupid. But then it looks like next week is does that next week is when the news comes out about Michael grabbing a camera man's butt. Yep. Not gonna help. Not gonna help the situation. Yeah, so I'm wondering how much of this, because in this episode Ashley was saying, well, he's so mad that he doesn't want me hanging out
Starting point is 01:00:29 with these friends anymore. So she's trying to make it like, well, that's why Michael's not coming back on the show, but I think Michael was kicked off of the show after this cameraman thing happened. So I'm not really sure if she's trying to get ahead of that. No pun intended. Or what, but interesting to to see what a fun episode.
Starting point is 01:00:47 I know. So good. A Potomac's really heating up. It's like it's like back in its groove. So I'm really excited. Everybody, thank you so much for being here. From Hula, we've got live shows coming up in Lanticos on FreeZo Wednesday.
Starting point is 01:01:02 And you can find the way to do that over on our website watchcraft.com as well as to get links for all of our other live shows ourcraft.com's on demand videos t-shirts phone acceptance so whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa what other women thank you for everybody does support us we'd love you so much. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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