Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Ashley Wasn't Torn Yesterday

Episode Date: August 11, 2020

This week on The Real Housewives of Potomac, Monique and Gizelle come together to inspire Ashley to leave her apartment... and face Candiace for another round of battering. Meanwhile, Karen works out, and Wendy continues to impress. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap we just love to watch on Bravo and Beyond. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. Hey, you know what, I started up my own Real Housewares of Kitchen Island Instagram, because I think it's probably easier for people to watch it on Instagram than on YouTube sometimes.

So go check that out, it's Real Housewares. And also check out Game Brain. What? Awesome. Oh, I thought you said dumb. I was like, excuse me. out it's real housewares and also check out Game Brain. What? Awesome. Oh I thought he said dumb. I was like, excuse me. Excuse me.

That's awesome. Yeah, it's just all the episodes just right there. And I think that like it just might be easier. I figured why not? Why not put on Instagram because I had some coffee and I had an hour to kill. So I put all the episodes on Instagram. You can watch it, go follow, because you know, why not?

And joining me is the wonderful, wonderful, wonderful man. My work husband, he's hilarious. I love him. Ronnie Caram from the Rose Prick's Badger Rose podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Well, how you doing, baby? Doing great. Doing great. How was your weekend? You did a really great newsletter also this month, so everybody goes sign up for that. It's very funny. Yes, the newsletter, there was like a

little bit of a break on the newsletter for pure laziness. I mean, that's a pandemic. I think we're allowed to be lazy on a newsletter, but a new one went out over the weekend. It was really fun. If you missed it, just sign up. You on our website, watchacrapans.com. There's like a newsletter sign up link. And I'll try to sort of like, resend it later this week to people who didn't get it or maybe missed it in their inbox. So if you get it twice, I'm really sorry.

I'm just trying to make sure that everyone can support other women, okay? Support other men being women. Guy. Yeah. Yeah. So there's that. And our Discord channel is really doing, or server is doing really nicely.

It's so cool that people are now like showing up from all around the world. We have people on there from, we have someone in the Netherlands who has not gone and found you London to foster his home, but hopefully she will. We have someone from Norway. We have people all across America.

It's really, really cool. So go check that out. You can subscribe on patreon.com slash watch or crap ends. And if you support the discord level or higher, you can access the discord channel or server. So you should try and access it at the crap ends on demand level because we do our videos and live shows and all that stuff from there. Well, our live quarantine shows anyway, where we stream live. So those are a couple of weeks where there's also masks.

You can get over at crapensmerch.com all of that. And that's enough chilling of us. Let's go chill some of you. How about that? Yes, we're some of you today. Yeah, we're trying to give a little shout out to our, we got a lot of listeners who are either out of work or their businesses are really suffering or struggling because of the pandemic, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

So we have asked people if you write to watchocrapins.gmail.com and put in your subject, small business shout out. We are trying to give you a shout out on this show. And we definitely also are really interested in amplifying black voices and black businesses. So definitely also put that in your subject in some forms that way we can give you a definitely a special shout out.

Here's one from Amanda who she is trying to start up like an ice cream making business. And she's starting with a YouTube channel and an Instagram where she's showing people how to make ice cream, which is like truly, I mean, she's doing God's work. Okay. So go check out YouTube.com slash Amanda Berg. That's Amanda B-E-R-G or go check out Instagram.com slash underscore the ice cream queen. So go check that out to learn how to make homemade ice cream. I guarantee it'll probably be worth it. And Lori's daughter-in-law has a business on Instagram called Shark Q to go.

And guess what they have? Shurcutories to go. She's in Seal Beach in Old California and can deliver, you know, depending on your distance. So just look her up. You can go to shark Q that CHARCU to go.com. Okay? Or on Instagram, look it up, SharkQ to go underscore. Okay, go look for her and support other women's

circuitaries. Yeah, circuitery and ice cream, it sounds like whoever supports these businesses can have a wonderful evening in. Yeah, it's a very, very fancy business. Okay, so today we have real housewives of Potomac. There was almost a national emergency. I don't know if you saw this, but Tachahala escaped.

Did you see this? Did you hear it? I did see it. Everybody's super sad for Monique and her bird that escaped. And you know, guys, I can only give you one piece of advice. Birds fly. Birds are not meant to just like sit around your house on your shoulder looking at the fish tank and you're living or they fly and they will fly away if they see you tree the fly after it okay. Yeah nothing from Nelly Frattato. She's like a bird, she only wants to fly okay like that's literally the most basic concept of birds

is they just want to fly, and it just want to fly away usually too. Yeah, and you know, you see a bird on a leash, and you're like, oh, bird on a leash. That's called responsible parenting, okay? Yes, maybe it looks stupid, maybe it does, but you know, that's how you keep your birds. Now that said, I'm a pet lover, I'm a lover of pets, I've looks stupid maybe it does, but you know that's how you keep your birds now that said I'm a pet lover

I'm a lover of pets have had all kinds of pets and you know, it's very sad So our heart goes out to you and I hope you find T'Challa Well, I guess what Ronnie this story has a happy ending to child of me to child of blue home the bird came back We'll never say that birds don't know when they're fucking rich. Yeah, T'Challa made it back. I think this is like brand new news. I think this is like within the past like hour or something like that. I just saw it somewhere on social media that T'Challa flew home.

T'Challa must have realized it was way more satisfying to shit on Monique's shoulder than it is on just some random branch. Well, yes, birds are like humans. Like you go out into the real world. It's like Lisa Rinna's daughter. You go out into the real world, and you're like, this sucks, I'm rich. I'm gonna go back to the rich place.

And you go back home, okay? This is what you do. Yeah, T'Challa's my bird modeling career just never quite took off. And so T'Challa came back and now is looking for a new home within Monique's home. Yes, this is going to look for a new house with a Monique's home and come out with an offshoot of White Girl Rosé. I'll team up with Fat Jewish and make a go of it, okay?

Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's funny because our life is so silly, I was actually thinking before we started. Oh no What do we do about Tishala? How do we approach this subject? I don't want to talk about a fucking lost bird and then I'm gonna make jokes about it and then people are gonna be upset that I made jokes about a woman in pain. Oh, Ben's gonna bring it up. I know fucking Ben's gonna bring it up. It's like if anybody dies, Ben will be like, yes, who died today? You know, and then I'll say something stupid, which I always do. And then I like that was actually a thought process. So I'm extremely happy that it all worked out.

Yeah, I mean, so T'Challa basically Monique, was three hours ago Monique posted like a six items, you know, like a carousel. It's like six videos to announce the child coming back. Which by the way, I think just in a picture, it's like a whole announcement, it's like, he came in over here, whatever. I feel like the child is probably the easiest parrot to find though because you're probably just like sitting around and then you just probably hear something like,

what's for dinner tonight? Caw, caw, caw. What's that John? Another baby! Caw, caw, caw. You're working too hard! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! The other birds are like, listen, these low things

are imitating, get back home. You can't be in this tree, okay, fucker. You're scaring away all the other birds, so. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Anyway, the child is home. Okay, well, everybody, thanks for being with us today. This is the best. That's all that happened.

I do want to say that also that before the child was found, I'm looking at an Instagram now and Monique has all these mournful photos of her with the child. Actually, there are IG TV installations that are like, I will remember you all so serious like with a very well-toucher. Is it just Monique Samuels? But Mrs. Monique Samuels. Mrs. Monique Samuels. Like she literally has a here. She's like very... literally as a yeah. It's like very does. I love her very serious face posing with the bird on her shoulder.

She's very serious right now. She's drinking some wine. She's waiting for the followers to come up. And, uh, Hi everybody. You hear her talking? Hello, hello, hello, hello. She's like, all right. She's good. With this situation, this is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way.

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This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour long by the way. This is an hour groups and someone posted that Monique is coming out with a new book about potty training. I mean, you got a hand it to Monique. Oh, it's here on her Instagram. Potty training, mommy and daddy. Because last week on the show, she was very, you know, very good about saying, my baby was potty trained in five seconds. I just said, go on the toilet and you did it. Look, he's going to do it right now on camera. Go potty, go potty. And also she got in that her bird was potty trained and her bird knew how to go. Go be potty trained as well. And to find out that that was all like her big scheme on selling her new book about potty training. I mean, that's some good housewife she'll shelling right there.

Love it. There really is. There really is. Well, not for lazy poopers. That's what I call it. Yeah, her big plan for the season. You know what? I'm gonna sell a book about shitting. One way to Tallahic got that out of there. Tallah's like, I just want a shit on a statue for one. Okay? Can I shoot on a statue or a clean car? I don't want to see. This sheet gives me no satisfaction. Oh, does anyone in life get this much shit over shitting? I mean, she's like, I mean like why are you trying to potty train a bird the bird is already potty trained It's like it poops on cars and statues. That's where it poops, okay? Oh, you're so funny. That's all okay, so here we are

Real house also puto, man, so we get opening lines this week. Yeah, it's exciting Potomac so we get opening lines this week. Yeah, it's exciting Supes jazels is I'm still the baddest thing walking and then most anointed one not talking Why is jazel always like I'm still It's me still everyone of her lines is like well guess what I'm the word is still on the street Yeah, yeah, I'm still talking now. She's like it's like a really important for her to assert like the continuity of her state I am still La

In my house saw yes She has like the traveling line that just it never ends from season to season you know You can just play it. Yeah, it evolves. One continuous line. And then Karen, honey, the grand dime doesn't repeat history. She makes it. And then Karen just poses so funny.

She likes sticks her nose all the way up in the air, just kind of looks down like nostrils forward. Sticks her nose all the way up in the air, just kind of looks down like nostrils forward. That's very, well she does have a scent. So nostrils forward is kind of her thing. Monique is, maybe if you try a little harder, you wouldn't have to try me. Is that like a code,

like that's such a of like coded message for Tachala and his potty training? Um, I'm just shocked that it didn't have to do about poop or body training in some way. That was the biggest shock to me. Yeah. She should have said, I might not be number two in the group, but I am. And you could just take it from there. Just say like maybe if you tried to like aim a little better You wouldn't have I wouldn't have to aim at you or something The poop when you're around me the poop never hits the fan only the toilet. I Lift up other women and seats

No accidents here I'm on purpose. I guess I was thinking of mine from a man's point of view. So I should think of it from a woman's point of view and say, don't put down other women, put down seats. Ooh, yeah. Or... Um, uh, that's how it should have been. It should have just been, uh, that's like Craig. Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don, don't, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don, don't know anything about them. You know, like back in mid July, they posed together the three of them in a gym indoors with that mask on. Did you see that picture? No, I followed that.

Where are your masks? Why don't you have masks on your indoors? And then like 10 days later, reports are that Austin and Craig have coronavirus which I'm not laughing at coronavirus but it's like this is why we were a mess and I don't know why I thought of that oh that's right I love that chef I love that chef escape like the coronavirus probably is telling everybody it got chef oh my god guys though I just thought it just was like wow which people really can get away with everything yeah I, I guess so. So then we have Robin. I may live in a house full of ballers, but I never get played. And she means that like, like, you're

not going to play me, you're not going to make me the fool, but she actually means like she is the one game that doesn't get played in the kids room. I don't ever get played. On the only game they never gets played. She is that sad toy that came from like a relative. It's like that one, that one wooden block toy. That's from like 1935. That's like not nearly as cool as your GI Joe's or Human Figures. Or Buggle. Like everyone has Buggle, but no one wants to sit there and play Buggle.

A double-sit game. No, it's a great game. The only people who like Buggle, and I'll bet you do this, and I'm sorry to be accusatory, but the only people I've found that like boggle have memorized every two letter word in existence just to be little fuckers and be stupid. No, that's not true. First of all, with boggle, I don't think you can even do a two letter word. Or three, or three, What, Athery? Here's my only issue with boggle

is that when you shake up all the letters, I find it to be like an annoyingly loud. I wish they sort of put some padding in there because it really rattles me every time that you shake it up. But it's a great game. And if you don't see the value of boggle, then, sir, I don't even know why we're podcasting. Well, I have it, but I never play. I always look at it like I just don't want to hear it. I don't even know why we're podcasting. Well, I have it, but I never play.

I always look at it like I just don't want to hear it. I don't want to deal with it. The sound is a little... I don't want to deal with some smarty pants. Like, I'm smarter than you. You're basically saying that Robin is your as your boggle. Yes, Robin is the boggle in my closet. I feel like Robin's not boggle because she doesn't make as much noise as boggle.

I feel like Candice's bogglegled because she doesn't make as much noise as boggled. I feel like Candace is boggled. I think if Robyn were like a, Robyn would be like, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Except she doesn't really apologize, does she? I guess she's more like, I don't want to say she's trouble, because she's not trouble. I think Juzelle's trouble. I don't know what, I don't know where she is. She's where she where she is operation Like she seems like she's really careful and slow, but then it's just like Maybe she shoots in ladders, you know, like oh look I climbed up a ladder oops. I slowed down a slide all the way to the beginning She's like monopoly always trying to buy like the cheapest properties and stuff and the game lasts so long I'm like how long is it gonna take you to sell this fucking avenue? Oh my god I would love to dissect which housewife is which which space on the monopoly because just imagining Karen calling herself Parkplace

When she's really more of like a Vermont Avenue is like just makes me so much because me so much joy I told you the reading railroad to get over here to Park Place. Nice to have luxury decks. Oh, one day, one day. So Ashley is like, now that I've got my baby, that's the only crap I take. Oh, so she got the poop. She got the poop on.

That's why, Moanick. Maybe that's why. Yeah, maybe there is like a poop tagline fight behind the scenes. Like, we can't have two poop taglines, Monique, you have to change yours. Monique was probably like, I don't take any crap. I'll just show you where to put it.

So Candace, you can't do it. So Candace is hers. I didn't realize it at the time, but reading it back now, having watched the first episode, I'm realizing that Candace actually steals Wendy's whole thing, which is so Candace. She's like, reading is fundamental and honey, I own the library. Yeah, she steals it from this episode. Yeah, she's crazy. Who does that?

Get your own life, okay? Like, I don't have to take your... No, that's another shit one, okay. Sorry, the show has me programmed to only think of poop now. Hahaha. Um, I don't know, something like- You can't hurt me. I've been hitting the head with the person. Yeah, I don't know. Something- something that has to do with you, you know?

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And then we have Wendy. And then Wendy is like the professor has arrived and class is officially in session, which you know, I get what she's doing there. But nobody wants to go to class. You know what I mean? Right. It's just not a good way to introduce yourself. Like classes in session, gross boring. I'm texting. I'm going to be texting now through all of your scenes. It's a very academic introduction because you have Karen talking about history.

You've got Candice talking about the library. When you're talking about class and session, it's sort of like, it's sort of like laying, it's like a college tour at this point. Yeah. So then we go to bus monument statue And we're a Karen's house and there's the deer the the Potomac deer. Yes, cute So cute so there were yeah, we're a Karen's house and we just we hear it's empty It's the classic Bravo fake out. They they just love doing this scene and normally I would say, okay I'm so over

the stupid, um, someone's working out, but they're gonna make it sound like sex. But in the case of Karen, it really worked for me. Ah! Yes! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Hey! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Yeah, no relation to the woman on sisters. So Karen's like, oh, stand your lane, Georgie,

stand your lane, stand your lane. You stand your side of the couch lane. They were doing those push-ups off the edge of a couch, which, I mean, that's some rented furniture right there. Because nobody who just bought a nice expensive couch would be like, hey, let's do push-ups off the side of this couch while we're sweaty. That's true. That is very true. Although I think it was her way of showing, see, this isn't from Ikea,

because I suppose from Ikea would already be sliding half way across the room. It's from Rentarroom. Mmm. Commissions. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Ronnie, have we talked about Clarna recently? You know by Clarna? Oh, yeah. I love Clarna. Clarna is a shopping app. So you can browse, you can buy anything there. Um, you can shop anywhere from one app. It's a good shop. Yeah. Yeah,

it's actually Swedish. And so, you know, I, I inherently trust anything that comes from Sweden because they perfected me balls. And so that like gives it a lot of, you know, I inherently trust anything that comes from Sweden because they perfected meatballs. And so that like gives it a lot of, you know, authority in my mind. And so, Clarna is this really cool revolutionary new online shopping app. And you can pay for anything in four interest repayments, which is really good and really flexible. So, I like that a lot.

And you can also get customized price drop alerts along with getting the best deals naturally. You can just set alerts and find what you want is on sale. Yeah, and then you can also actually one of my favorite things is creating and sharing wish list because I love making lists and I also sometimes I'll like be walking around and I'm like, you know what I really need? I need like, I need a new vacuum or something. And this way I can just just put it on there. Because by the time I get home, I always forget. Being able to make wish lists is really helpful.

You can totally do that on Klarna as well. You can download the Klarna app today. Klarna is the way the online shopping should be. In Sweden, they don't just shop. The Klarna is spelled K-L-A-R-N-A. That's Swedish for smoother shopping. Big Brother follows a group of people living together in a house outfitted with dozens of high-definition cameras and microphones recording their every move 24 hours a day.

Each week the house guest will vote someone out of the house and in the end, the last remaining house guest will receive the grand prize of $500,000. Big Brother is back with this 20-second season. House Guest will receive the grand prize of $500,000. Big brothers, back with this 20 second season. Yeah, and this season is an all star season consisting of all returning house guests. Now, if you listen to this podcast, you probably know that Ron and I go way back with Big Brother.

I've been watching since season three, and my one impact on this entire world is that back in the TV gasm days, we named Julie Chen the Chen bot. Okay. So we are into this show big time. Yeah. We'll be watching it.

So you watch it too. New episodes air on CBS and CBS all access every Wednesday, Thursday and Sunday at eight, seven central. But first go behind the scenes with the live feeds and multi-cam setup in the house exclusively on CBS all access. In addition, catching up on every past season of Big Brother, CBS all access subscribers constream thousands of episodes from hit CBS shows, classics, and exclusive original series. Visit cbs.com slash crap ins for more information and to start your free trial of CBS all access. So you can catch up on all the Big Brother content you need to get ready for season 22.

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Meena kuchi kuchi kuchi give him help miss Noelle Sarah Greenwood she only uses her power for good Shannon out of a cannon Anthony Let's get racy with Miss Daisy. Let's take off with Tamela plane. She ain't no shrinking violet koo-tar We love you guys So then Ray comes in and he does like that classic old man dad thing goes hey that doesn't look too rigorous And he starts like flapping his arms like mocking them like oh, I'm a crazy old man. Oh And Jordy's like I'm out of here Like there's a pizza on your step So they go to the lives. He's like, there's a pizza on your step.

So they go to the kitchen and care and it's like, well, honestly, I like working out with George. It's important I do it because it keeps this for you. He's like, uh-huh. Especially since you won't say the three words to me, those three words. He's like, okay. Okay. okay okay it's not the three words but we'll work on that okay okay okay that's three words isn't it and then the guitar is like the music on this show is one of the best on Bravo the music department is one of the best on Bravo. The music department is one of the best on Bravo.

Really? I just love the music, especially their christian dose in this show whenever there's drama. It's like a full orchestra. It's not just that that sad Beverly Hills Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I didn't even understand what what she was getting at at first because when she was like oh Three words say the three words. I was like I wasn't thinking that it was I love you because I figured since They're already married and they've been married that she wouldn't be trying to coax out those three words I feel like people say that normally when you're in the beginning of a relationship So I was like what three words does she want like laser disk compatible or like remote control yours. Facts cover letter. Why use electricity? Mr. coffee arrived. So he's like, okay, okay, okay, that's three words, isn't it?

And then he like unclicks his glasses, because he's got those glasses that you like unfold. Oh yeah, I didn't know that. Yeah, and then he shows his anger with her by constantly clicking his glasses. Like, I'm angry. Like he shows his anger with her by constantly clicking his glasses like I'm angry. I was like, ooh those Costco click glasses anger. Love it. Love it, Ray. You know, I might have changed between the two of us lately.

That's taken about five years. We suddenly realized he's been on a reality show and it's ruining his life And there's nothing more frightening than not hearing Ray say. I love you, baby. Tendrally, that's forward So I guess I'm just asking for more than I can even get and it's ruining his life. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm with no napkins. Hmm. Nothing more frightening, but you know, Ray and I got to work this out. So here we go. I'm going to work it out. Ray! Can I get you some coffee? I'm working on that right now. Coffee, coffee, Ray, coffee. He's like, no, that's okay. It's like, tsh. You want me to clean your glasses? You want me to clean your glasses? I'm going to roll up the socks. I'm going to your socks. Okay. Hey, there's a crumb near you. mind if I come pick up that crumb.

If you don't have coffee, how much does it make you swallow this French vanilla flavored cancer in a bottle, Ray, Ray, Ray? Ray, does it turn you off when I hold this creamer in front of me? Ray. I know, I love a dramatic scene with a giant bottle of creamer. Huge bottle. Just out there on the counter the entire time. So then we go to Jezelle going to lunch with Monique.

The middle of a tornado. It's windy. Yeah. So yeah. So they've decided to be friends because of housewives and you just kind of have to reset that shit every year. It's like, okay, some different people are gonna be friends because of housewives. And you just kind of have to reset that shit every year. It's like, okay, some different people are gonna be friends for no reason now.

Okay. I love when housewives do this. The folly of like a one season friendship. We saw with Gretchen and Tamra for a season. We saw it with Leanne and Brandy for a season. We saw it. I don't know, other places too, I'm sure. I just can't think of it off the top.

There was like, yeah. And for us, too. Yeah. Like a season where you decide to put aside your differences and then by the end of the season, you hate each other again. Yeah. So for right now, Jizzil has a side that she's going to be nice to Monique and just say,

Kiki a lot. Yeah. She's like, you know, I don't, Monique says. I don't think we've ever just trusted each other It's so weird, you know I know it's probably on both sides, but when I hear the word Jacelle I just assume the worst and Jacelle's like I appreciate You're honesty

But it doesn't make sense to me. We need to be able to Kikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikikik And I love that they just sweep all these issues under the rug like they were never a big deal. You guys are horrible to each other. They're not just little issues, they're terrible. They are horrible to each other, but the reason why they're horrible to each other is based on kind of like nothing. It's just like, well, Jacelle was essentially being a bitch to Monique. Monique was like, fuck this bitch and then the rattle restarted, you know? But essentially it wasn't like there was any real thing that was done It was just from that point on everything has just been an ongoing retaliation so so yeah, so now they're gonna be friends and

You know Monique's like you know I've always said I you know Jacelle is much easier to get along with when she's getting that D so she really took it to the next level got that anointed D power the D power to the D So we good and she's like I'm really glad we're having this open dialogue I mean look we both love Ashley so that's something that's right I do love their furniture beautiful beautiful rock iron accents oh our custom made Ashley yeah she's fine too so they talk about Ashley being depressed on Instagram. Yeah. And, uh, house.

Yeah, I'm not wanting to leave the house. And, you know, this is 2020s for you. I got good news for you. I know. You're not going to have to leave the house again. Okay. Exactly. So it just feels like, well, we should do a party for her.

You know, let's just use that because we all have to get together at some point. Anyway, sing as high we're on a television show so let's just do it for Ashley not as well yeah exactly so they're gonna do a coming out of the house party for Ashley and Monique's like okay great and we'll just do finger food because I want a vikanda so we probably shouldn't have any utensils there and just all kind of cops to some stuff, which is rare. She's like Ashley went through a whole lot last year, and all of us contributed to our opinions of that.

And then we see, you know, like, all the clips of, you know, calling Michael a... If you're gay, cool. If your wife wants to be a beard, cool. Are you okay with butt squeezing? But Candace was the worst. So anyone should apologize she should apologize. Yeah, I thought that was funny I like that she just sort of you know sugarcoded their version or not even sugarcoded But may it seem like yeah, we definitely put her through the paces and they're saying like the worst things about their marriage

Like but Candace was really jabbing the most. Yeah, Candace was the worst But Candace was really japping the most. Yeah, Candace was the worst. So, but Jacelle, her whole issue with Candace is that Candace doesn't own anything that she ever does. Which is funny because Jacelle and Candace were sort of buddy-buddy last season, so it's funny that Jacelle seems to really be so annoyed with her this time around. And Monique tells us that she and Candace used to have their had their issues last year, but they've patched things up and they're in a good place. And, you know, she feels like Candace has really grown and changed, which is great, like

foreshadowing further disaster that will happen later this season. Yes, and here's just helping fairy jazels. She's like, okay, yeah, I will now plant seeds to make you hate this woman, which will last the entire season. So I can concentrate on my house. So she's like, I found it interesting that Sherees was there the other night. And when he's like, yeah, that's what I've heard. Yeah, true.

And when he's like, who invited her? It's like, can this dude? Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don't, don't, don't, don, don't, don, don, don't, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don't, don, don, don, don, don, don't, don, don't, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don't, don, don, don't, don't, it was my party fine, I love Sherees. I love me some Sherees. But when did Candace and Sherees become so cool? Why would she do that to you? Why would she do that to you? Monique would never do that to Candace. Why would she do that to you now? Monique, think about that. Yeah, Monique is so easily swayed.

She's like, yeah, I would never do that to her. Wait a minute. She's mad now. And the producer asks, Monique, what are these rumors? And she's like, um, well, other than saying that some boy came back to my husband's house a couple times, stole a golden harp and a goose, and now they're a shock that my husband threatened to crush his old damn city.

I'm not really comfortable saying anymore, so it's pretty nasty. Just stay quiet over here. And then we give the top chef, a zing! Of the knife being sharpened. And then she's like, okay, I'll just tell you. She's like, let's just tell it all. She's like, word on the street dies.

Monique and her trainer were a wee bit close for comfort. And her and the dude were out in public together, a lot, and we're seen, and big boy, I found out. And Sharice has told people much like, I'm telling the nation right now Yeah So she's like, oh now I'm gonna have to talk to Candice don't don't on so then we got to Ashley with her with her little tiny Baby husband from little her baby senior citizen

Her baby Michael. Yes. All right. The you want to interview some secret series? We'll do it. He is my next look for the book. All right. This says I just peaked myself. Mummy.

Could you please change the diaper? She's that. You like it. We're here. He is what I'd like to say. Mummy. We're we're we're we're all right. We're we're we're we're. Um, have we, I feel like they say, mummy. Wee wee, wee wee. All right. Wee wee wee wee.

Wee wee. Have we, I feel like they've been in this apartment for many seasons. And it was only until this episode that I realized just how hideous their front door is. Have you ever noticed it? Their wall is like this string. It's like a, it's almost like a navy,

but there's like maybe like a tinge of green in it. So it's kind of not navy. And instead it's this like gross blue. And they added that texture. You know that thing that people do? It's faux finish. Is that what's called faux finish where they get the sponge? Yeah, almost like my front door to look like a storm.

Yeah. It's awful. They have an awful, awful door slash wall over there. I never noticed it. Yeah. It's very. They have an awful, awful door slash wall over there. I never noticed it. Yeah, it's very like faux fanashas. So lactation specialist comes over and me damper. And it's so funny how they treat this lady because she comes on and she's like, hi, so good to see you.

But they put subtitles on it. Like we can't understand her because she's a lactation specialist. They also make her look crazy. And she's like doing like perfectly normal things. Okay, so I like famously, when it comes to female anatomical things, I often say the wrong things because I'm like a gay male. And, and so I'm just, it's just like part of the world that has is unexplored to me. And apparently lastly, I referred to Ashley while she was pumping as milking. I didn't multiple times, which is hilarious.

But one thing I do know is I do know that lactation specialists are like a real thing and like often use it often helpful. And it was just funny to me that Bravo just made this one look like, oh look at her, she's crazy, she's talking about nipples She even has a little nipple pillow nipple pillow made out of yarn. She's gonna eat it eat it So then as she's mom as Sheila comes over. This is when I think I noticed the door and I was like ew and And she and as she starts talking about how she's like she panics when she goes outside because she's scared of the world right now.

And they're both basically like, um, you have to go outside, stop this, stop. Yeah, confront your fears, her name is Candace. So then we go over the Candace and Wendy having lunch and they just squeal at each other. And I'm very disturbed by Wendy's eyebrows. I can't quite put my finger on it, but they're kind of sharpie-like to me. But overall, like Wendy, this is my only opinion so far. Wendy is still early for Wendy, but I don't have to say so far. I don't understand what Wendy's doing on the show. She is a tenured professor at John Hopkins University. I mean, what is she doing here?

Why is she doing this? Like, why is she doing this to herself? Like, you're going to ruin your entire trajectory. You're too good for this. They're Wendy. Stop it. You're starting off being friends with Canvas. Yeah.

Well, this is fun. But she's smart. She waited until she got 10 year before she came on to any sort of show, right? Because then once you got 10 year, you can't go in. Like, they can't get rid of you. So she's like, fuck it. I'm tenured. And now I'm on the any sort of show right because then once you got tenure you can't go and like they can't get rid of you So she's like fuck it. I'm tenured and now I'm on the real house wise So they meet for lunch and Candice loves her of course. She's like she's black girl

Sonified she has a doctorate. She's a political commentator. We have politics in common. I'm like no She's on TV talking about politics because she's like, you know, really, really smart. You like went door to door selling cookies, you know, with Obama's picture taped on. Let's not pretend it's the same thing, ma'am. Also politics in common is a pretty like, that's like a pretty broad thing to have in common. Oh, we both are in like,

well, I actually shouldn't say that because there are a lot of people who aren't interested in politics. The point is this, I just feel like Wendy is just in such a different league from Candace and I'm excited for her to turn on Candace because we know that's gonna happen too. That's a classic thing.

Someone new comes in and then meets the rest of the group and realizes that their original link is like worthless. And so, yeah, stop hanging out. And in real life, the rest of the group and realizes that their original link is like worthless. And so yeah, stop hanging out. Like in real life, the one in a group who comes up and they're way too nice to you is usually a problem. Yeah. Wait for other options to appear before, you know, just deciding you're going to have lunch with the same person every day.

Yeah. Good old school room tactics to learn. So she, and this is where she steals her whole thing. She's like, she can read a book honey and she can read you down, okay? And that will now be very similar to my opening line. She's like, she can read a book and she can read you down. But guess what? I am going to make that my identity now. So, ha. So Wendy also has a new baby in case you forgot from last week. And she tells a story about how when she broke water, her, her, her water broke.

She had water coming out in the car and in the hospital, so that was fun. And then, but then when she had her babies, she like has an Instagram video for walking out of the hospital, the baby just like flipping her hair like whatever. Yeah, made me like her, I liked it. Yeah, made me like her too. But then I remembered how much I hate Candace. Yeah, and it kind of ruined the whole thing. Because she's like, yeah, you know, I think I'm almost ready because I just don't want to turn

40 and be like, oh my God, now I'm ready and I have like two eggs left. And these people, it's always like these people who turn 40 and then they release books that are like, it is amazing being 40 and I'm not sorry. Like the ones who shamed everybody, you know, it's like the Kyle Richards of the group who's like, I mean, having plastic surgery, that's a little unfair girls. And then she gets like 10 new faces over the years. she needs them. Well, Candice, she has insecurities about being a mom because she says, you know, my mom did the best she could do, but I can't help but be petrified because I don't want to make mistakes that were made with me.

She is basically just a hugely passive aggressive attack on her mom. But at the same time, I did appreciate the refreshing honesty of acknowledging that she is like a huge mistake. Yeah, I did like that And so they order and I now here's another reason I like when the she orders a full-on sandwich on a hamburger bun with french fries Mm-hmm actually all of this cast orders food that I actually want to eat which is for a housewife So and there's so many crab cakes that go around on this show that like it really is, like, God, I have not had a crab cake in months and I want one so badly now.

Yeah, so they start gossiping about the girls and Wendy's like, you know, everyone was really pleasant to me, especially Karen and Monique. But I've met Karen before and Candace is like, oh yeah, they call her the grand dom. She's like, yeah, she was trying to be really fabulous with me. She's like, hello.

She's like, yeah, she was trying to be really fabulous with me. She's like, hello! Yeah, she's like, uh, yeah, girl, you are not from another country. And Wendy tells us, yeah, I've not cared for years or for two years, but every time she sees me, she says, hi, nice to meet you. Like, hello. Yeah, I love that Karen, of course, does that too Wendy. The person she should be most impressed with, of course. So then Candace predicts that Wendy and Juzelle

are gonna get along, but she warns Wendy that Juzelle likes to haze. And Wendy's like, don't haze me, baby. The hazing starts and begins with me. I'm a professor and class is always in session. I will read you, so close that book. Like, see, again, that's Wendy is the stick. The reading in the books. That's her stick. Candace. Yeah, Candace. And

then Candace is like, well, she's happier when she's getting her grass trimmed. That means sex. Speaking of grass getting trimmed, let's look at some fawns and some doves, eating some grass in Potelmick. So we're, Monique is with her kids in the kitchen. And she's like, okay, so no one's gonna ask how my day was. Nobody, nobody. And Malami is like, no one cares. I mean, true words, never been spoken. And then we see Robin in her closet.

She's wearing a turban. And I guess she's trying to like clear stuff out of the closet and she's like thumbs up or thumbs down on this one and her son's like thumbs down she's like really what about this one? thumbs down really but what about this one? thumbs down mother! and then Karen and Candace are having lunch or dinner or something and Candace is in a turban.

Candace is just stealing everybody's thing this year. Yeah. So she's in a turban and Karen's like, I bought it down. Do you have truffle fries? No truffle fries. All right, well, I have regular fries. Do you have honey mustard?

You don't have honey mustard. I love just how like, Huffy Shoe is being about his fries. Lady, you're at a, you're just like sitting at like a basic bar. Mmmmm, you don't have any mustard. Mmmmm. I mean it's like, well, maybe we have any mustard. It's like, mmm.

Well now, we're killing the game. Mmmmm. Mmmmm. This is how a boss lady gets things done. If you can't get a truffle fries, get a french fries. Mmm, and then ask for honey mustard on the side. You just got le damned. So Monique, then, they're sitting there, Monique, sends a text,

like the invitation to celebrate new mama Ashley. And Karen's like, mmm, I smell a skunk, a big old fat one, a big old fat skunk, oh wait, no, it's the Truffle Fry. So they're here. You have truffles, a little domed. So Candace is like, well, I'm a little surprised that I'm invited, but a new baby is definitely a launching pad for our relationship.

I'm like, wow, you sound like, you sound like B. Like I wish I could get pregnant. Definitely a launching pad for our relationship. Like wow, you sound like, you sound like B. Like I wish I could get pregnant. That would fix everything. Yeah, seriously. So, so now Ashley is getting a call from Monique. Ashley's at home, she's getting a call from Monique. And she, Ashley's like doesn't want to leave her baby to go to the dinner because Ashley is clearly

very depressed at the moment. So Monique starts telling her that she and Giselle had a really good lunch and that it's going to be really interesting working with Giselle on making this dinner happen. Yeah. And then, um, movie. Oh, we're going to movie mode. We're with like is Potomac butter film just kidding isn't where get the letter box office Don't just a TV show guys. What's going to see food? Oh Yeah, so now um Juan is

now sitting down with Jazelle at a restaurant and She wants he bases like Hi, Jazelle at a restaurant. And she basically is like, hi, Jazelle. I want to talk about Robin. Like she doesn't know that you're here, right? You know, so they're trying to make it seem like there's some secret conversation, some illicit secret thing, but we all know what this conversation is going to be about.

Yeah. Could you please tell her to stop wearing turbans. It's really a turn off. I don't know how please tell her to stop wearing turbines? It's really eternal Tell her so he's like um he starts giving his wedding speech He's like Robin and I have been talking about what we've been through. Yes, we've had our shares of ups and downs But Robin knew from the beginning how important it was to be for me to be around my boys And then she's always been my rock and And she was there when things hit rock bottom. And she's, save it.

Save it, honey. Okay, save it for the stage. I just want my fish sandwich. Seriously. And just start hiding behind the plage. It's like, oh my God, I'm so excited. Duh. Jesus won't he do it.

Jesus won't he do a duh. She's like, have you looked for a ringa? She had a big rock before. So let's double that. And if somebody named Jamal Bryant has this conversation with you, Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Robin is a simple girl. Ah, get a return bin. She goes, how many years of you know her and he says 24, she's like so 24 stones. Ah, it's like, Cabot years change. Next year it's going to be 25. Yeah. It's an anniversary of how long do I have no deal. Where's my nine diamond ring bin?

Me. I'll send you like a for monster with nine scoops of ice cream in it instead. Delish. So, I would know. We all know I'll wear that forever. So one thing that's great that Jamal and Giselle are back together and you know, but you know, the one thing is about the girls because, you know, unlike Wann's kids, we're like not phased by any of this. You know, the girls have grown up without Jamal really in their lives

and don't really trust him. And Wann is like, well, he cannot hurt mommy. He absolutely cannot hurt mommy. She's like, well, he's clear on that da, he's very clear. I'm like, okay, we'll check in in about 12 months from now. We'll see how that goes. Yeah. So then toilet flush, it's naturally seen. Oh no, it's a candacee. I'm sorry Ashley, that was rude. Toilet flush, it's a candacee.

Candace comes out of the bathroom while Chris is cooking. And she's just peed on a stick. Yeah, she keeps saying that's because I just peed on a stick. Yeah, she keeps saying this, because I just peed on a stick. You guys, primacy test? Mm-hmm. I just peed on a stick. Not pregnant. Well, congratulations.

I mean, so. Yeah, this is your story. This is such a housewives story. I'm not a stick. You're not even trying to get pregnant. This is so housewives. Like, oh my God, I peed, I mean, next week, I peed on the stick again.

It's like, do something. He literally doesn't care. He literally doesn't, if anything, he wants her to be pregnant. So when she's like, I peed on a stick, he's like, okay. I peed on a stick. Yeah, and he's like, well, so we're gonna change the plan or what are we doing? We're gonna have a baby. And she's like, well, so we're gonna change the plan or what are we doing?

We're gonna have a baby and she's like, well, this time I wasn't upset that I might be pregnant. He's like, how could you be pregnant? We don't even have sex. And by the way, while this is happening, he's making some sort of strange concoction, which God, I hope that his cookbook plans are not still happening because he's put, he like sauteed spinach and onions and is like laying them onto a bagel. So I'm like, what is he doing to this bagel? Something is going wrong right now. And then there was like shredded iceberg that's going down. And then eventually an egg and then like it just, it winds up looking like a baked Alaska,

but it's with a bagel instead. It looked insane, whatever, whatever it is ended up as a big triangle. Like, how did it look? It did. It looked like a blue salad. It was like a, it was a big white pyramid that was so, that was so white that it was like, it was like, um, blown out on camera. I really couldn't even see what it was.

Yeah, it was gross. It was like, they talk about their sex life and how they don't have enough and she likes to have it at night time But he likes to have it in the morning and he's like, well at night time you have to go take off your makeup She's like my lashes And he's like, well, yeah, but then you know by the time you come to bed I'm tired So really exciting seeing there I need on a stick. So next up, we go to this dinner party thing or the slunch party thing for Ashley.

Yeah, and so Monique and Jizella there first, and of course Monique has arrived with a not-for-lazy mom's basket. Which is like, I'm like, oh God, it's back. We had a season without not-for-lazy moms, and now it's back, it's officially back, in a basket form. Yeah, and now it's got essential oils

and poop pads for birds. Yes, I'm a Corona in there too. Oh, so Jizello's putting place, you know, name plates, place, what am I saying? Name tags, place settings, place, yeah, whatever you do it. Names, she's arranging seats, place settings,

place seats, place tags, place, she's putting the names on, she's putting names by plates and then Jizelle's also talking about or she tells us that she met with Ashley earlier in the day and Ashley had some interesting information about Sherees and we see a flashback to Ashley saying, well I heard that Candace and money, Candace falling out and Candace made a huge effort to be friends with Louise. Hmm, that was actually all it is. That's where all, that's just re-ended there. I thought it went farther.

And let me, it's like, yeah, I've been noticing things. We've been talking about rebuilding our friendship, but it's been me rebuilding and her receiving the benefits. Hello, Corona. Bert Pigs. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, last time I checked Candace her receiving the benefits. Hello, Corona. Bird. Yeah, I mean, yeah, I mean, last time I checked Candace now knows how to pee on a stick, thanks to me, and I'm getting nothing out of it.

I stick trained Candace and now look where I'm at. So Monique is really mad that Candace is pursuing your friendship with Sherees. And the fact that Monique is getting this information from Jacelle is like a dagger in the heart. Although, wasn't Sherees the one who brought Candace into the group originally? Wasn't that what happened? Or no. Oh gosh, I don't know. No, it was Ashley who brought her in. Because of like...

Pagents. Yeah, the way both young. Candace and Sherees had like a moment when they really liked each other and then they got into a fight at like a spa day when they went on that like spa trip or something and Sherees was like her mom probably bought the ring haha that upon and Candace always had a plan so Karen arrives and robbing all the girls start arriving. Yeah, mm-hmm.

I've had a poppy seed in my agit for the past five days. If I'm puckering extra hard tonight, you'll know why. This time you're getting out of poppy seed. So they sit down and ask, she's like, Wow, I'm so proud of, you know, candy so many. Being here, everybody's mad at each other here, and I'm just so proud of everybody. And Karen's like, I said,

big fat scum, hell no, Josie is trying to rub elbows with my girl. And she's all like, no elbows, we're in a nice new place, okay? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so Candice and Wendy, like March on up and everything and Ashie's nervous because Candace is childish and immature, but Ashie then says that she's indifferent and she's

very happy now in life except, you know, for the fact that she's terrified to leave her house and she has to stare at that hideous blue door all day. But, you know, other than that, other than that, she's very happy in life. And she's got Michael at home. Michael is great. It's going great. So Monique's like, wow, it's your first time coming out after the baby. And then they bond over having both having babies a week apart.

Yeah. And when he's like, yeah, I just had my baby and they're like, look at her. She's fine. She doesn't care about leaving the house and Robyn's like, yeah, I just had my baby and they're like, look at her. She's fine. She doesn't care about leaving the house. And Robin's like, yeah, you see the difference between a new mom and a three time mom, huh? And Wendy goes, yeah, I just drop it like it's hot. And Monique's like, yeah, she just leaves that baby on the curb and comes to lunch.

Like, fuck you, baby. Wendy's like, I actually just already got a new degree in something. It was amazing. Meanwhile, Ashley looks so, I actually felt bad for Ashley. She looks exhausted, she looks overwhelmed. She does, she does look like there is some sadness going on there. Like I really feel bad that she's going through that postpartum. And just looking at her versus Wendy,

there is a huge difference. Yeah, well Ashley or me and Michael. So then they ordered, I mean, the year that she went through last year was harsh, you know, whether at whatever was true with Michael or was not true, like just being the partner in that whole thing, Yikes. I would stay in the house too.

I mean, I get massively depressed over, you know, shit coming from, like when you get those emails from Amazon and they're like, well, your delivery was scheduled for today, but it's running behind. I mean, I will stay in the house for a week over that. I'm like, no one respects me. As someone who's actually currently going through that, I really understand that very. It hurts.

It hurts, man. So I can see. So yeah, she has a reason to be depressed. Yeah, post-grouping depression. So, uh, actually, the cool grabbing butt depression. That's right. So Ashley's going to be having a sip and see for Dean and, um, and then, oh, big news everyone. Now, now you want to talk about getting potty trained. How about this? Ashley may need surgery on her booty hole because I have a tear in my butt hole.

I mean, they showed Jiselle right when she says that eating a big thing of prosciutto, like curling up in her mouth, and the music's like, it was really unpleasant, but it was all worth it to see Karen. Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. Karen goes, I just know Botox is a miracle worker, but freezing a butt cold is a whole other catapult bass. Yeah, she's like, I want to make an announcement, I do have a tear in my anus, my actual anus. See the first ball movement after my So how does the Botox help that like you

And then it just calms your butt hole around and or calms it down enough so that it can heal so that you're not squeezing it I mean, what does it do? I need to know Your butt all someone needs to explain it my no one needs to explain it really, but I, well, I, because I feel like we're gonna get like an awful explanation with photos and I don't want that. But what I, I'm assuming that she had some sort of massive constipation and the Botox was to sort of like chill things out so that would work. Like smooth past the answer.

Okay, here's what I googled. What does Botox do for your butt hole? I don't know. And here's the answer it comes from the answer. Okay, here's what I googled. What does Botox do for your butthole? Oh, good. And here's the answer it comes from the cut.com. Botox for buttholes. Yes, it's a thing. You know Botox, like in your face, it paralyzes the muscles.

So you get Botox in your butthole to paralyze your butthole muscles just enough that it doesn't hurt as much and makes it easier to insert something. Hmm. Look at that. So it probably hurts, because she has a tear, it easier to insert something. Hmm. Look at that. So it probably hurts, because she has a tear,

it probably hurts every time. She goes number two. Yeah, it's a, and, um, lamellar.com says, the vast majority of them are about the use of Botox as a successful treatment for anal fishers, small tears in the internal lining of the anus. Well, they baby you go well We've learned a lot today haven't we?

My life if I was a housewife would be like I Maybe a but hole but you're about to be schooled about but holes I may be a but hole but at least I'm not torn I'm torn but but my butthole isn't. My butthole is like Natalie and Brulia, torn. Okay, that's enough butthole. I don't know why we can't care and taking out the butthole drama. She's one of the most opposed.

So I was like abort the conversation. abort the conversation. So they all toast to the new mother and everything. Okay, now start being mean to each other. Well, then just all goes well to lighten the load a little bit. Let's do a toast. Like did you just say line the load after all of that discussion? So Candace is like, well Robin, I did want to say to you that I was very happy that your husband came to the party. And as she's like, yeah, well, how I did want to say to you that I was very happy that your husband came to the party And as she's like, yeah, well how was it? Did everyone dress up in their dinams and their diamonds and Danum? And everyone's just silent. Yeah, everyone's like we were trying not to remember that awful thematic element of the party

So it goes well, it was fine, but that was outside dodging and a walrus I didn't know what she said out she said I was dodging a war hog I was dodging a walrus she sort of changed it up I was like wait a minute did she change words so Ash is like wait did you say you're dodging a war hog because normally Monique she would actually have a war hog as a pet you know at this point yeah and she's like, I was dodging a walrus. And they start laughing because Ashley's like, oh, you mean Cherise. Yeah. Candace is like, I didn't know you had that much beef. I really didn't know that. So Monique, of course, is pissed because everyone in the circle knew about this. And by the way, I actually

didn't seem to remember these rumors I didn't know about them So the fight that Monique is getting so pissed is so counterproductive on her end because now it's a storyline And now we all like oh Monique and a trainer Yeah, she just she brought it on. I mean she's all brought it on but she's making it much much worse Yeah, and then this is where we get the full orchestra of crescendo music like, oh, say what now? Cause she get this is what she tells us. She's like, you got to beef with me. Since when I'm very confused, and Candice, stop it.

You don't come to us. Don't come to us and like expect empathy from us. You knew what you were doing. You're like a little chihuahua. You always have been and look, you barked up, you barked up the Chris Samuel's tree and it's gonna be not pleasant for you. Yeah, and Monique just keeps taunting her.

She's like, well, did you guys go on a honeymoon yet? And she's like, well, we're going to go on a honeymoon as soon as my mother leaves her kitchen window and mocks so I can get in there to get a part. Yeah, Monique's like, well, you should take into money for the part of you through and gone somewhere, you know, and gone and hummed somewhere with no condoms. And when he's like, you wear condoms, what you need to consummate your damn marriage is what you need to do. Stop wearing condoms. Yeah. And

kind of just like, well, you all do pull out, right? You do pull out and you do pull out and you do pull out. And when he goes, Karen, you have sex. I'm just going to pucker up right now to a big pucker. Big, the biggest pucker you've seen all night long. Karen you have sex? Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Monika and I have something to say, we feel like this group is a sisterhood of traveling no pants on account of inoffigures, don't want to get messy. So we want to set the tone for the sisterhood and for friendship and that tone is dysfunction. So on that note apologies, they need to happen. Ashton Candace, would you like to dock her? Candace is like, okay, I would like for us

to get to a place where we can respect each other and agree to disagree. I'm like, no, no, no, no. It wasn't just disagreements. I love when it's boiled down to that. Like, was just a degree to disagree that your husband is fucking dudes, and like assaulting people on camera.

Yeah, exactly. She's like, you know, I like assaulting people on camera. Yeah, exactly. She's like, you know, I just, uh, Candace is like, I just don't want this conversation at the table, um, because she basically just doesn't want to have an audience, right? Um, which in some ways, like I understand that, but in other ways, like she can't be held accountable if she does it, you know, privately, because she'll probably try to scroll out of it and not give her apology. So she, that's exactly because she'll probably try to scroll out of it and not give her

apology. So she, that's exactly what she's trying to do. Yeah, and she's also always coming for Ashley in front of the whole group. So it doesn't really hold water with her. So it's like, hmm, I feel for Candace, because I've been a victim of gang banging. Yes, that's when you all are getting up on a person and say, here! I'm going to spam your fax machine and you won't be able to do anything about it, it'll be all day long! Like Ray, unblocked the fax machine, but he'll be too busy clattering pots and pans on the

stove top to hear what I'm asking for. They're trying to make you, you know, it's where people break you, they make you submit, they make fun of your wings, call you KERN, it's pathetic, it looks cruel, and if I offer you a large bottle of coffee cream, I'll you say I love you, damn it. Do you know what it's like to show up at your birthday dinner and you don't get to sit at the middle of the bank hat? Do you know that's called I call a gang bang. So Robbins, like the best thing you can do is to say I apologize to the middle of the bank hat, do you know that's called a gang bang. So Robin's like the best thing you can do

is to say I apologize to the mess and let's move forward. And she's like, yes, have you even said congrats on the baby? Yeah. And Ash is like, I don't want her talking about my baby. You know, the one that she said Michael didn't want to have with me, huh? Yeah.

And Candace is like, um, is this a dinner for Ashley or a Candace attack? Because if it's that, then let's talk about Ashley, okay? And when he's like, what's up in the bath of the damn alcohol? Yeah, I went to school for too many years to be listening to this bullshit right now. Yeah, and so they start yelling at each other. And Candace is like, well, why don't you just stop talking about it then? Like just stop talking about it and just like, um, no, we won't stop talking about it. Apologies need to happen And Candace is like, you know what? Shut the fuck up fuck all of you

To be continued forever and ever and ever TBC yogurt forever and ever and ever. TBC Yogurt. Yeah, a full on disaster as usual. I mean, you know one good point I thought that was brought up was that Candace said that she didn't want to talk about this when Ashley has an audience and as she was like, um, but you have the audience too. Meaning like, you can, if like we both can play the audience and like try to, like it's,

she bases like basic shut up and I just like I thought was a good point good point by effort Ashley I don't know why I felt like like really like focusing on it right now at the end but let's go deep on it let's go deep on a very small moment that was inconsequential to anything anyway so certainly cracks me up every guy so good so thank you for being such a good show Potomac. Everybody we love your little faces okay? Everyone hug your parrots because you never know when they're gonna fly away especially if you're being an idiot about you know keeping them under control. Yeah not for lazy parrots my new favorite website and we'll be back tomorrow with some below deck

med and then on Wednesday we're back with selling Sunset Season 3. We're watching it one week at a time. We're not binging it because we want to save all the experience. So episode 1 of season 3 is going to be on Wednesday and then Beverly Hills and New York. It's a great week. So go subscribe and we'll talk to you in the next episode. This is A-Cast Recommends.

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