Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Ball Busters

Episode Date: May 1, 2018

The Real Housewives of Potomac play bubble soccer and then haze the crap out of the new girl. Plus, Ben shares a story about running into Lisa Rinna and Countess Luann TOGETHER. Must listen. For all of our bonus episodes and other goodies, become a premium subscriber at http://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens ***Crappens Live is coming to San Francisco, Phoenix, Irvine, DC, and has added second shows in Atlanta and Philadelphia! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends

That's patreon.com slash watch what crap ends You can also find us on social media on Twitter. We're at what crap ends on Instagram and Facebook at watch what crap ends We'll see you there I've got a crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, crab, Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Christy Rowerty-Dowardy. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Megan Bird, you can't have a burger without the bird. Jess Sayon, okay. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, Big Grant Master!

Give them home, Miss Noel! Alyssa, Magic Mikelle, and Lizzie Drucker, a fun, mother f- We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yo Brows! I'm Ronnie Caram from Trash Talk TV and the Rose Pricks Bachelor podcast, Oh, hi, how's it going? Good, what a fun Monday we had such a great weekend on this podcast. So many good podcasty things happened.

We got a shout out from Patricia from L.O. Southern Charm, which was amazing. Change my life. OK. I also terrified me because I mean, was it the most recent episode? Because I think I had her masturbating to the bell, like rubbing Williams bells or Michael's bells, so... Well, when I first saw her tweet, she was like, has everyone here heard of this podcast called Watch What Happens?

They make fun of everyone on Southern Chum. It's hilarious. I was like, oh, thank God. I thought she'd be like, these two men need to get alive, which is also true. But I thought she was gonna, I thought she was gonna rail into us, but she was like, they are hilarious. And she is. Yeah. I'm like, we make fun of your son. Oh my god. Except I've always loved Patricia. You have not loved Patricia, right? Or am I misinterpreting? Hi, take your fucking bend bus back and park into the bend bus. How about that bend-hound? I go up and down I go up and down and I always will but that's a fun of this show

So then Captain Lee was like, I've worked with I was guy's little god damn it I too have been a victim of their crimes or whatever he said. So it's like a double whammy, bravoTV.com in the below deck section. It's called, What Would Captain Lee Do? And we just put Captain Lee in a bunch of different housewives scenes and stuff and Vanderpump rules. So he's kind of a character in those shows now. And it was so much fun.

And I didn't say anything about it because, you know, you never know what I'm going to get fired off a job or I didn't know what it was going to come out or whatever. But I worked with that guy, but God, it was like two or three months ago now. So much fun. It was so awesome meeting him. And so crazy to know that he listens to this podcast, like he knew who we were. Yes, we're a person of him for like a whole day. It was a month. He's probably one of the few Bravo stars who has always come off well from the very beginning because all he does is yellow people and I think

Sometimes we just need that you know since the beginning He's always been like wow you get these god damn yaddi's in order I'm not in order we get them out to get one way ticket to god damn off the boat back to god damn main line And yeah, and just we've been writing jokes about Captain Lee, or not writing them, but you know what I mean. Like we've been making Captain Lee jokes ever since he's been on that show. So to get to do it in real life was amazing.

And like to be on the set and just like, you know, you have to come up with different lines and stuff doesn't work. And I would just start doing Captain Lee voice. I go, God damn it. Here's what I say about teaching your kid God damn folicio at the dinner table. Which is one of the scenes.

And he was just cracking up and it was so much fun. What an odd dream to never have that comes true anyway, you know? I know. Well, this has really been a banner week for Watch Your Crappens. Okay, set like seven days ago, Kelly Ripa accidentally added us in her Instagram story, which was really thrill. A great accidental thrill. We had Patricia give us this huge shout out, you know, out of nowhere on social media, which then Captain Lee pipes up about. Today, I and Gartan just announced that she has a new cookbook coming out. I just pre-ordered it right before this podcast, like minutes before. So already, like, amazing week. But this past Saturday, something truly, truly epic happened.

This of course is the weekend that the Avengers came out. And I felt like I got to partake, got to witness a Bravo version of the Avengers. I was at a baby shower. That's funny. Thank you, thank you. You can use that with Captain Lee. Sorry. So, and by the way, so cool you did that. I don't feel like I gave you enough props,

but that's so cool. That's a really awesome opportunity. And I'm excited to watch it. I'm excited to watch it. I was excited to watch it. No, but like it's, no, I'm giving you a public public. Oh, babe. I'm going to watch it.

No, that's not a bravo. I actually saw it. I saw that it was up there. So I'm going to have to watch it. Anyway, Saturday afternoon, I'm at a baby shower. And, you know, I'm wearing baby shower appropriate clothing, aka khakis and some sort of like like teal and blue

gengham thing like super like I look like I was like three weeks late for Easter. So the baby shower was winding down. It was in Sherman Oaks sort of on in the hills there and it sort of felt like well you know sort of dressed like this. Why don't we, like, keep the ball rolling? So we decided that would be fancy and go to the polo lounge in Beverly Hills. And the famous polo lounge that Kim Richards was kicked out of after many years of having a booth there. So, man, after being there, I can understand why you'd like yourself in those bathrooms. I mean, those are some good, those are some high quality bathrooms. They are great bathrooms, actually. So I went with my friend Melissa and Diana. Now Diana is actually a countess.

And I should have known that when I recruited Diana for this mission to go to the pole lounge to enjoy some afternoon beverages. That something amazing was going to happen because we walk in and lo and behold, sitting there in the corner is Miss Lisa Rena. And she is sitting there with Countess Luandola-Seps. Oh my gosh. Yes. So already, like my heart's already beating

because it's Lisa Rena. And as I walk in, I my heart's already beating because it's Lisa Rinnah. And as I walk in, I'm like looking at her, I'm like, well, should you remember me? Well, she's not. And she sort of looks at me from across the room like, I know that man. I know him and she goes, hi, hi. And then she remembers, she starts going, how are you?

And like across the room, I was like, oh my God, I'm getting rid of it. This is amazing. She's giving me a, how are you? But I'm like, countess Luanne is with her right now. Like, this is already too much for me to process. I dart away from Melissa, because actually Diana hadn't arrived yet. And I just like leave Melissa, just like get a cloud of dust.

And I like saunter over. And I'm like, hi, and I'm like trying to play cool. I'm like, I know Lisa Rina a little bit. We've met her before. So I'm gonna like say hi to her first. And she's like, hi, well, this is Victoria. And I look, I'm like, there's Victoria. Lou Ann's daughter.

I was like, hi, nice to meet you. My hand is like fully shaking. And then, and then, and then Rina goes, and I believe you know this woman right here. And I'm like, it's like Countess Luanne looking gorgeous. That my neighborhood, they're all three of them are looking gorgeous, but I'm like, oh hi, nice to meet you.

She's like, oh, hello, how are you? I'm like, good, I'm like, oh, I'm like trying to keep my shit together, and I'm like, making awkward conversation, and I was like, come on, Ben, you gotta like, gotta get it together, okay? You can't, if I'm too awkward, this is just gonna, it's just gonna peak at a, oh, hi, I just want it to say hi.

So I'm like, how are you? How's it going? I'm like, congratulations on your season winding down. And congratulations to you on your season starting up. I mean, the most bullshit thing you could ever say, right? Like, what am I talking about right now? Congratulations on your seasons. And like, it's a little bit of a haze for me

because they're just like this pattern. And then it was one of those things where I started talking too much and not breathing. So then I had to take that big swallow, you know when that happens? Yes. So I had to take a big swallow, which is always like a sign that you're nervous.

I was like, fuck, I'm not being, I'm not being cool right now. I'm being very uncool. But I sort of got my sea legs, called back to Captain Lee. I'm not being cool right now. I'm being very uncool. But I sort of got my sea legs called back to Captain Lee. And turtles. And turtles. And I was like, because I was all awkward.

And then I was like, wait a second. I can steer this ship. I can again, Captain Lee. I was like, what's what Captain Lee do? So I said, you know, I'm coming to your show next week. She's like, oh, really? Oh, well, you know, and then Vittor was like, I'm going to go also, I don't know who I'm going to sit with, whatever. So I was like, I'm going to try to be like, oh, I think I said, we'll sit with us. And somehow like in the process of saying that, I like went from Ben Mandelker

person at the Polo Lounge to I suddenly stepped into podcast mode, and I became a lot more self-possessed. And then I started talking. I also propped myself up with one hand on their booth. So that way I wouldn't feel so awkward. And once I did that, once I have a more physically stable, I was better. So then we're just chatting and then at least we were like,

oh, well, they have the best pod, they are hilarious. I mean, they give, oh well, they have the best pod. They are hilarious I mean they give it to us. They give it to us, but they are so funny. They are They are so funny On the way I was like, well, I want to go on. I want to go on. So now I'm like fully dead like I'm actually a skeleton Standing in the polo lounge like my skin and muscle just turned into dust and blew off into everyone else's food. And I'm like, Luan wants to come on the show.

So I was like, okay, so I was like, well, I mean, Luan, anytime you want to, anytime. And I, it was like so, I'm trying to remember the other things she said, Luan was great, by the way.

She was so, she was like so chill and fun. And of course, Rina was too. But I also, I also was like so, like, chill and fun. And of course, Rina was too. But I also was like, if I don't check myself now, I'm going to take over this little meal they're having and just talk to Luan only. And I don't want him to get mad at me. This is Rina's meal.

She was already like, you could tell she was all like, okay, we were actually having a conversation before you came over and stood here with your neon teal gingham shirt. Good to see you. This isn't a food court. I'm trying to remember the other things that the man said that were just so funny. There was like so much like my brain is now exploding. Oh my god, that is so amazing. Oh, I told her I sent me that right.

Oh, you told her I told her I was like, you know, we're doing a show up. No, we're doing a show in San Francisco. The same night as you're doing your show, we're half a mile away from each other. She's like, oh, that's crazy. She's like, wait, she goes, what this was what it was before. She was like, what now? Wait, what show? And I was like, oh, they do a podcast.

That's much like, I want to go on. It was, it was, it was come on live in San Francisco, man. Literally, beyond some exact same time. But it was like such a huge thrill. So I was like, well, we should get a photo. But I knew I was like, they weren't like, they weren't like, they were out to have lunch.

They were not gonna be, they were not like in photo. You can tell like, you know, like, you know, you don't take photos at the polo lounge. You take photos like at the grove. Yeah, so then, so then just, well, we'll think about it. I was like, that's okay. I was like, we'll think about it. I was like, shit, I don't get to have a, I was like,

because you know, if I could have had a photo with both of them and Victoria too, but Victoria was fun, by the way, in the few seconds I spoke with her, she was really fun. Like, I want her to sit with us at Countess and Friends. I don't know if she will, but... Lohans had some other things that I just, I remember I was like, I got a member to talk about this in the podcast, and I'm forgetting. I'm forgetting.

Just have a breaking news update throughout the show and you remember staff. I really will. Um, but you, it was, it was, it was upcoming news break. This was by the way in the immediate aftermath of me popping a button off of my pants. I mentioned this on the bonus episode when I arrived at the Beverly Hills hotel, when I stepped out the car, my button flew off, my top button on my pants flew off. So I'm sitting there with like, basically pants that are barely standing up anyway. So it was like,

I think because we've become so close in life that, you know, Yen and Yen, you know, like I start losing weight and then it starts going over to you. Like the universe has to balance itself out somehow. Sorry Ben. It's okay. Well, either way, it was like,

it was amazing. And then for the next like 10 or 15 minutes, I like could not focus. I want my friends were talking about. And it was funny because this is when I found out that my friend Dan is a Countess because we're talking about like, she was like, who is this woman? And I'm like, well, she's on real housewives. She's a former Countess. And then she lost it because she got married for a little bit, but she still calls herself the Countess and Dan and is like, well, you know, I'm a Countess. I was like, what?

I was like, ugh, if I'd realized that, I would've told Countess the win. By the way, I'm with a Countess right now. And I would've, I'm like, I would've had so much Countess cred with the Countess, with a real Countess. Well, you never know because there's Countess rivalry. Maybe it's good that you didn't remember or you didn't know yet, you know

Well, they could have traded stories about being Countess's, you know, I was like it could have been a Caroline Fleming like remember when my Countess my Countess has been killed your Countess grandfather back in the day. What a fun time What a what a time to be alive. It was I I'm telling you, it was a pure thrill. And the funny thing is also, this is also on the heels that our song, Forever Countess, made it onto iTunes, and that's now available for download. And I posted it on Instagram that morning. So it was just a day of, it was just countess day.

It was like international counterstay. I mean, it is because further in the neighborhood, further down in the neighborhood next to you, right after I got out of this, I got your text. I was like, what are the odds? I was over at Annabelle, the Sisto's recording, Adirolle and Compliments, which comes out this week. And she, it's an hour and a half of her telling me her story of trying to interview Ramona Singer in New York. And it is one of the funniest fucking things.

And she also met the Countess and almost fell down. And the Countess is like, I lost a diamond earring. Ramona's like, just go on Twitter and tell her to say you lost an earring. And people will take one to your house. That's how, you know, like these people, like the world they live in. And so I got out of that dying laughing

and then got your text like, oh my god, what kind of world are we living? It was a magical weekend people. It really was. And to meet Countess Luan, technically, I've actually met her before, but it was six years ago. And I've told the story story too many times so I'm not going to go into it again but that was a very brief but to meet her in the context of Lisa Rina just made it all the more epic because it's like I feel like Lisa Rina is getting lost in the story and it's like no it's Lisa Rina and even though we've met Lisa Rina I'm still, how are you? How are you? How are you? Are you getting me right now? So that is amazing. What a great weekend. So thank you, Bravo Universe for giving us this great weekend. I'm just hoping it doesn't swing around and hit us in the back of the head because, you know, good as followed by horrible, horrible

tragedy. So it will. Tragedy happens. Hopefully it's being taken care of by the five fire trucks across the street right now currently done a goddamn tree. So everybody our bonus episode we just recorded is I went to a gay play and had major rage. I got triggered and Ben talks to them. We talked about poop. Oh, no, that was our team. We commercial. Yeah, and then we talked about the correspondence dinner roast our team, commercial. Yeah, and we talked about the correspondence dinner roast. So go over and listen to that and thank you to everybody on Patreon. Also, we are still on tour. We're going to be touring through the end of the year and we're going to be in Chicago next week. So that's our, and then after that, we're going to be in Phoenix and San Francisco on gay pride. Phoenix we're going to be covering Grill Housewives of New York and San Francisco. We're going to be covering Grill Housewives of New York and San Francisco. We're going to be recording Southern Charm and we're also going to have a bunch of little

special gay pride things happening to celebrate the countess being down the street during the show. So that is going to be a fun show, whether or not you watch Southern Charm. Just come. The experience is so much fun. And you have enough time now. There are some people who are like, but I don't watch Southern Charm. Trust us. Start watching.

You've been, you haven't, this is your homework. We think you're gonna like it. Like, there's a reason why the show's been on for like five seasons. It's, it's a good show. It's really good. So watch it, enjoy it, throw yourself into it. Ronny, do you want to tell everyone about our Chicago plans? Um, no, you do it.

I don't want to listen to that. Okay, I'm assuming this is, tell me if I messed it up also. So basically, so we're thinking, okay, so what are we gonna do for Chicago? What are we gonna talk about? We definitely wanna talk about Vanderpump rules at one of the shows, but then if we,

whichever show we talk about Vanderpump rules at, the other show's gonna be like, what we wanna hear about, from Vanderpump rules. So we decided to do this. It's going to be, uh, it's going to be Vanderpump rules reunion episode one. So the first half of that reunion episode we're covering at the early show and the second half of the reunion episode we're covering at the late show. So everyone's going to get Vanderpump rules that's going to be a night of band of pump rules reunion.

Reunion, and you're thinking, well, how are you going to fill out an entire show talking about only half of an episode? Trust us, we can do it. And even if we don't do it, we will find a way, anyone who came to our Boston show saw that we, we spent an hour and 45 minutes and we only got to the first half of the New Jersey reunion episode.

So don't worry. We will have plenty to talk about. We'll have plenty to talk about. We'll do a lot of that. We're going to have fun. It's going to be a Vanderpump Rules explosion in Chicago. Yeah. So go get your tickets at watchup Crappens.com and go watch the

Captain, what would Captain Leetu? We'll be posting that on our social media today and tomorrow just so you guys can know the links and stuff. But that's over at bravoTV.com in the below deck section and let us let me know what you think. Okay, and now it is time for the very first episode in the real episode. The first main show recap of Real Housewives of Potomac. Yay. It is finally made the transition from bonus show to the main main show for watch or crap. We just didn't have the space for it, but now we do.

And it's here. Welcome back, Potomac. Yes. It was't have the space for it but now we do and it's here welcome back Potomac yes, it was like that two weeks of onslaught of shows where it's like oh my god there's too much to cover and now it's like okay now everything's nothing's or ending what do we do? Well, we got Potomac we're gonna be we're gonna be set for a while because we got Potomac Southern charge Southern Charm New Orleans we got hanging around below deck. Med is coming back in two weeks. So we are going to be as always filled to our gills with Bravo content. And so real house was a

Potomac for those of you who do not have the bonus episodes and haven't been hearing it or catching up. Those are it's been great this year. It's been really, really funny. They're having our strongest season in season three. They've been killing it just watching Karen losing her mind, her money

at her wigs. I mean, you can't get better. Monique, who is a first season housewife last year, has really come into her own. She's more gorgeous than ever, but also just has no problem with any kind of shade, which is very good. Yeah. Ashley is just a mess, but keeping it together. Karen is right now it's all about Karen for me. And Robin is a horrible goalie. Like she's a horrible goalie. Yeah, Robin is starting to fall into antagonist role, I think, a little bit, which I'm actually enjoying.

Because Robin is like, she can't be really cold, and that has always been used for the powers of good, but I feel like the season, they're decided they said, you know what, she's cold, we're gonna make her the villain this season. So, I think Robin's an a-hole, personally, for the most part. She's a little bit of an a-hole this season, and I think that she is now the villain. But time will tell, time will tell, sometimes a little difficult to see who is the villain and not in this season. But they've been showing a lot of really sort of snobby moments from her, not snobby, but cold, cold moments in a way that's not fun.

Snobby. There's a better word. moments in a way that's not fun. Snoddy. There's a better word. So just because she just started making money again, so it's like, can't be too snobby yet. She'll learn it though. She'll learn her snobby back. Right now, she's just a little snot.

But when I said she's like a goalie, when I was a kid playing sports, my parents forced me into every sports ever. I played every sport for one week before I either got kicked off or just threatened to, you know, jump off a cliff. And when I played soccer, I was so afraid of the goalie on one of the other teams because he was so big and just gave me Robin Luxe. Like the way that Robin Luxe it people, I would run away from the goalie, which you're

not supposed to do, apparently apparently in soccer. So that's what I mean. And she reminds me of that. And you know, traumatized. The goalie was like, you're not allowed to talk about my relationship with the goal. Okay. Like we've been through a lot. I was see the thing is I always played defense in soccer, because I didn't want to have the pressure of having to score, which says a lot about my personality. I was like, I would rather be back here and just kick the ball forward. It's easier. Just when the ball comes to me, I just kick it forward.

Because if I'm on offense, then I have to actually aim the ball at something and that's a lot of pressure on me. So I would say on defense, and the other thing I would do is every time a defender, I mean, anytime the ball started coming in my area, I swear to God, this is a true story. I would start screaming, um, I start screaming, macadamia not. I go macadamia not, macadamia not. And like the first time I did it, everyone sort of like stopped and was like, what the fuck? And then like, I kicked the ball. I like distracting them by yelling macadamia not. It was like, I was like, oh, but then I did it for the next like two months. And so I just became this weird kid who yelled macadamia not every time the ball came near me. And you don't know why? I know why I yelled macadamia not.

Why are you yelling macadamia to distract them? To distract them. I was like something random as I was like, sounded sort of funny. But then the thing is it only distracts them that first time. And then it just was a random kid yelling macadamia not I love that you were that kid Yeah, because everyone knows the macadamia is the most confusing that it's like why is this included in a fucking nut mix You know, yeah, you're gonna confuse people that's how to do it That's a great point. It's a very confusing nut

Macadamia, it's like It sounds like it sounds like it's sort of like Jewish, like, Jewish macabee. Is that a name Jewish macabee? Macabee, whatever's name is. Or it sounds like it could be smart, like, academia, but it's neither. It sounds like a really fancy girl named to me,

like, oh, macadamia. And it hasn't annoying crunch. It's not really a crunch, it's sort of like soft. And you're like, it's just weird. It's like not really a nut and it's too big and they use it obviously to take up space in the nut mix, you know, so they don't have to put in too many almonds or cashews, which are more expensive nuts. Yeah. Cashews are very angry at the macadamian. It's just it lacks character. It does. Well, I mean, it's huge. It's huge and boring. It's just like, hey, look at me, class clown. And you're like, no, like I know you're funny, but you're not witty.

Right over there, McAdamio. Right. Okay. So real housewives of Potomac are firstful recap, and it's McAdamio nuts and sockers. I'm partial to almonds because that's what my last name means almonds, I think. It does? Yeah. Yeah. My last, oh, I don't know what my last name means. I think Smith and Lebanon. Okay. So we open with Ashley. She's going to teach yoga. So she's getting her yoga certification. And she's over with her main teacher named Faith. She's gonna teach some yoga. Mm, yeah. She Ashley is, she's gotten really into yoga after her separation from Michael and she's on her journey to becoming a yoga teacher,

which I really hope we don't have to revisit this. I hope this is not her journey for the season, like that season finale is her getting her certification and having like a big yoga party. I'm just, I'm not here for, I'm not in the mood. I don't want it. Yes, and Candace comes. So if there's anything that makes you want to do yoga,

it's yoga less. Candace is in your class now. How fun. Yeah, now I've heard of like hot yoga. This is like loud yoga. This is Candace being like, oh my god, yoga, yoga. Oh, am I supposed to of like hot yoga. This is like loud yoga. This is Candice me like oh my god yoga yoga Oh, am I supposed to sit and my supposed to sit like bitch everyone sitting on a mat. What do you think? What do you think Candice? Candy ass yoga. It's a new form of yoga

Where you know that you're so annoyed while you're doing yoga that the frustration fights the piece and you burn more calories Yeah, did you notice that one girl in the class just rolled her eyes when Candace entered? She's like, oh. Yes, it was the most amazing slow eye roll I've ever seen in my life. I mean, that needed its own scene. It was like roll. It was like a low slow like roll.

It was like watching a time lapse of the sun coming up and going and sending it. It was just no. It was like one of those carnival rides. You know, where you sit in a thing, watching a time lapse of the sun coming up and going and setting it up. It was just, it was like one of those carnival rides, you know, where like you sit in a thing, like a big like pirate ship and it goes like left and right and left and right, like higher and higher each time. And it was like her eye roll was like when the pirate ship is really at its peak. So it's like, it's like at the peak and then it sort of slowly rolls down to the bottom of the back up again the power ship's up there and everyone's screaming I like that she she she calls mama stay. She says namaste Namaste, so stay home

So Jiselle comes and I was like this is gonna be so good peace while, while Jazelle, like, slut shames the young person. Can't wait. Yeah. So they all sit down and the interuptures are like, okay, we start with an O, and she's like, Oh, which was funny. But then Candice is like, that was a good note.

You hit a good note with that. I'm like, listen, we're allowed to say that because we're podcasts, but you're in the class. So be quiet. Yeah. And just I was just giving this hideous look to her. It's like you're supposed to be oaming, but I would like to think that that's what Buddha really felt like. You know, I think that people have just really modified that fucking Buddha statue over the years to give them this peaceful

little smile. I think he had one I cocked open like just like what the fuck? I'm sitting at a tree. I don't even know what the hell all these people are doing. I refuse to even speak anymore. That's how annoyed I am with this. So now, like, Candice is making all these jokes, because she's like, I can't reach my legs and this and that. She's sort of being very much like an actress, you know,

like making it all about herself at what's supposed to be a spiritual moment. And I know it's not gonna be spiritual because there's cameras there. But at least try and Giselle. Yeah. And Ashley. I can't believe Giselle was married to a preacher. I mean, if anything makes me believe like the spirit isn't real, his Giselle.

It's also a very dark energy to have in church with you. Like, geez, I'm saved enough by this religion with that Giselle being here. So, yeah, so they have yoga and then when yoga class is done, they all start chatting and Candace starts talking about Chris, her husband, and she's like, yeah, Chris turns into a brown man when he drinks too much. Like, you know, it soles a little, it's brown a little bit. and you can see Jizal just like staring at her like You go yeah she goes that's a little offensive don't you think and she was oh no he's not offended by it at all She's like do you think black people might be a little offended by that? She's like oh Well who knows I mean his penis is brown and they're like what?

That's an overshare I think Like I don't need to know that I'm Like, I don't need to know that. I'm gay, I don't need to know that. Okay, I like penis. I don't need to know that. She's describing it such a weirdo. It's like his dick is brown and his end is pink. See, it's just, I don't, yeah. It sounds like it's decaying.

Sounds like it needs solution. I'm not sure what to say about it. I wrote down nothing. I wrote down literally exactly what she said, and that's it. And then she says, I was like, whoa, I don't want to meet him now because there's this vision in my mind.

I'm like, weren't you just fucking somebody in a vineyard last week on camera? How about you just keep it quiet over there, lady? So then, Candice is like, we're in the Magnum Club over here. Yeah, I'm like, no one asked, no one cares, and I don't believe it now. Now, I think now I actually don't, I actually, I don't think there even is a penis. How about that? How about that? I think you're bragging too much.

Yeah, he's, there's no penis at all. So, Jizelle, who last year had a, like, come to Jesus slash reading a book, reading her book about being a preacher's wife poorly meeting to make everybody make up. It's like, well, my first impression is she's young and perky and nice. And I really like her better than some other people I've met lately that other people whose initials I won't give you Monique Samuels. Like okay. So that come to Jesus lasted all of five seconds. Good. I didn't give you Monique Samuels. I'm like, okay, so that come to Jesus last at all of five seconds. Good.

I didn't like that, just sell. I don't want that just sell back. I want me. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident, not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.

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So then we go to Great Falls and we see Karen helping Raven with laundry because Raven's heading off to Junior Year of College and Karen's like, I can't believe Raven is already heading off to Junior Year of College. It just seems like yesterday that she was coming back from sophomore year of college and feels like it was even just like a few days ago that it was, she was midway through summer vacation between sophomore year and junior year and now it's practically just been an hour since, been a week since her halfway point through summer vacation between sophomore year. I'm like, okay, not everything is like a milestone. Like, it's gone junior year.

It's fine. Yeah, start reading something other than your eye cow carrying Like Raven are you back you're doing laundry? Oh Raven. I'm so sorry about your father doing cura laundry Can I help you look at me doing physical labor? Well, that's all I'm good for since you won't even call your mother Raven and buy your mother up more often. I came up last year last uninvited and I was devastated. You were so mean to me, Raven, so mean to me. Raven was like, I was busy. I'm sorry. It made me respect my child. I didn't know I had to make an appointment. I showed up at my daughter's dorm room and there was a sock on the door. I was like, what sort of

door knob is that for your mother? I waited out there for two hours before she came out looking distressed. I don't know what that was all about, but I will not be touching socks. Now I wanted to tell you, you are inspiring. Aversaries will come your way. There will be peaks. And there will be... I forget the uh... lyrical to that song. There ain't no mountain high enough. There ain't no low mom lows. There will be peaks and lows. But you're solid little sister. I'm taking questions. I'm opening the Lord of questions. Raven, do you have any questions? Are you gonna stop harassing me a college? This press conference is over. This press conference, no comments, no comments.

I expected more support. What are you wearing a shirt with your college on it? Oh, devastating. So she's like with rain is tax issue. I, I just need to move forward, full throttle. Okay, return your rental car, or deduct it from your allowance. Everything is about finances. I don't, yeah.

I don't want her own little planet. She's like, look at me being responsible with finances. Anybody want to submit this to the courts? I feel like Karen is in a state of constantly giving press conferences to anything. Just like inanimate objects around the house. She just like lines up all her brushes and like hair dryers and I think, all right, questions, questions. Everyone wanna know anything?

All right, hair dryer, question from you. Yes, no, the response is, I've always done my taxes on my own and no, I don't know what Ray is doing. Thank you for the question, your dryer. Yes, Ray may have tax problems driveway, but doesn't have more problems than the Hertz rental car sitting here that is too lazy to return itself.

Quiznot, I don't appreciate that question. I won't answer it. I'm sorry, Quiznot. We'll have to move forward. Quiznot, I'd like to take our differences and blend them up. Hamilton Beach. Hamilton Beach smoothie. Hamilton Beach, listen, if you're not going to behave yourself in my press conferences,

then you're just not going to be invited back. It's not, I'm not trying to crack down on the press. I'm just trying to let you know that there will be decorum at a Karen Huber press conference. Do you understand me? Mike has cheated on Ike. I'm taking questions. All right, Crafts Singles. What do you want to know? All right, Landline.

All right, novelty back of Camel popcorn. Oh, good. Okay, so now we go to Candace and her husband having date night, which is really boring. Yeah, she's like, say really. Yeah, she's basically adjusting her boobs. She's like, my boobs aren't right. And he's like, you know, he looks like a Brampiness. Yeah.

And so she's, I guess, Jacelle was asking at yoga about whether or not Candace is going to a pre-nuptial or whatever. And so Candace brings it up to Chris and it's like, so Giselle was asking me about a prenuptial agreement, which I was like, LOL. And he's like, I don't care, you're the one with all the money. So like, it's fine.

I'll sign it if you watch. He's like, great. I was like, oh, well, that was a very fast arc. As if her mother didn't already have one written up in sign to decide like their second date. Exactly, exactly. She's like, well, I'm really worried about Bubblesocker because these women are high tea and crumpets.

Like, really? It's Karen and Jacelle and Robin. Yeah. I didn't see a lot of crumpets and robins like, Studio apartment. That was, like, sectioned off with, like, little Asian shades to make rooms. Yeah, this is, like, like, lip-dyn and, like, croutons. Okay, it's not high-teen crumpets.

It's the real house, that's a Potomac ma'am. Do you have a DBO? It's, like, Snapple and some old pastry from the event. One of those weird Danishes. Yeah it's like it's like broken rouse cookies. So yes back of of Candice calling everyone to buy into Bubble Soccer and she's holding out a coffee mug that says sure. I'm like oh wait when is her coffee mug say you were a little robot? Oh, sorry, her coffee mug says, future misses.

Oh, I'm like, oh, she's so gonna be such an annoying engaged, she already is. She's always flashing her ring, you know, it's like to the waiter, to the Uber driver. I'm getting married. It's like the color prep. I'm married now. So Cand like the color prep. I'm married now. So Candace is just trying to like start

a fight or a lecture or something. And he's like, no, I'm fine with the pre-knife. And she's like, OK, well, I'm trying to get to know these women. So it would be nice if you'd stop jumping off of stuff into bodies of water. Could you not do that at Bubble Soccer? Yes, the high class of Bubble Soccer.

And he's like, well, it is a park, so I don't think there's a pool. And she goes, well, anybody of water, like if there's Lake and Ocean, Batub, she's the shrugs. He's like, I'm as bored with the scene as Ronnie is. So can we just FF? I'd great.

I just want you to act like a mature adult while you're running around in a giant inflatable spear. So Monika's with her kids, which is pretty cute. Yeah, they're brushing their teeth and she's talking about how she's like really appreciates them after having gone through the misery of the miscarriage, etc. So she's talking about she's being reflective for a moment. She's got this on taking questions. I'm taking questions. Sorry. Karen just pops up to do a pass conference. Mentident. Yes. Mentident. I do brush twice a day. Sometimes I brush three times a day. What do you think about that? Mentident.

So she, yeah, she's with her kids. She's like, I don't have an amy. Why poor me? And Cherice comes over and she rings a doorbell. No one hears it. She's like, this bell ringing, ding dong, this bell ringing. Look at me being wacky. I'm going to knock on the window.

I'm three. I'm three. What with Tha Tha do-Do? She with Tha-Tha-Do window. So then Monique starts talking about how much she loves Shasha. She's like, you know, since movie to Potomac, she has definitely introduced me to a whole new world of network of people. I'm like, and then you took her place and kicked her out. Well done.

Yeah, poor Shasha. She's like, I introduce you those fish and you think how could you do this to me? So Monique is making a cold remedy which is Jim ginger lemon juice and apple cider vinegar which I'm sorry But you know you didn't invent that right which at first you didn't claim to but she's like I want to patch it up and sell it on my mob website You know it's crazy how you come up with something in the kitchen then people can use it a you can't just sell food on my mob website. It's crazy how you come up with something in the kitchen, then people can use it. A, you can't just sell food on a website, okay? You have to get approved. There's like health code violations and stuff like that.

And second, while you didn't invent that. But I will buy some. Also, it's giving me flashbacks to Jules Weinstein's elixir that she made, Alkeem, something like that. Alkemi. Alkemi? Oh yeah. I wonder what ever happened to that. Well, I like that, Alkemi. Alkemi? Oh, yeah. What happened to that?

Well, I think that Jewel's behind scene is, she's on her own saga these days. I actually would like Jewel's to come back because she's gone through so much shit that I would like to get an update on her. I don't know if I need that, but that's another day and another dollar. Another, well, we're just gonna table that fork in the Calzone for a moment. Ooh, Calzone, now listen, are you filled with meat or just cheese?

I'm taking questions. Taking questions. All right, all right, I have a question. All right, I'll take a question from Mr. Pyrex over there. The answer is no, I only bake cheese or meat into my Calzone, I do not put in forks or anything that holds any sort of red sauce whatever you call that I don't

know would you rather me or a woman who almost smell it or who almost swallowed a marinara side dish not my kid in office yeah well you do enough press conferences. You run for office. I have the news. I reject the insiduation that I bake anything into it, but I don't. Anyway, so Shares is, yeah, Shares is like really reminding us that she is the real grand time of manness because Monique's like, we're going to a soccer game. It's like bubble soccer or something.

Look at this invitation. And Sherees is like, this fuck fuck a kidding of a tae fan. T-thundee-me-have-kids. What is this? I'm not even gonna read it, because it's not in my eighth bracket. Like, Sherees, you're the one who's riding around on the hoverboard, okay? Let's just like here. Okay.

She's like, I'm gonna flap that with my flat bracelet. Back on my wrist. Like, okay, stop. So like, can I have a fan blowing at me a long time, thank you. I don't. At this point, I thought Monique was supposed to be bringing Chris to this thing.

And I was like, how is Chris Samuel is gonna fit into one of these bubbles? He already is kind of like a bubble. Like, could there be anything more terrifying than a professional football player running at you in a bubble suit? Oh, the bubbles just start popping. Oh, what is that? It's like playing a game of pool, you know? They're just like getting scattered to different pockets.

You're like a bubble soccer. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ball, soccer ball, soccer ball. And she's like, oh my god, you should refer to yourself because she can't read. She needs a ghost reader, not a ghost writer. And this kind of repeats her. Right. I think the reason why she said that is because he said the attire is sporty check and said sporty chic. Oh. And Syris is like, well, I guess I'll go. I am a 40 chick. I do like bubble that they're all bubbly. Get it? Is that a joke? Is that a campaign? A campaign room. Someone makes like, yeah, just all needs to not ever need to read that book out loud.

Okay. Never. It was funny because when she said the second time, I was like, I wonder why they left that joke in a second time. I was like, I feel like Sherees is going to go tell just all that, huh? So anyway, we then, uh, that's Robin at home. Let's open some boxes. Oh, excuse me, that's the guest room. It just all comes over and the kids like, I knew it was here. She's like, Oh, you did how the storm clouds?

She's always like from the sky. Jacelle is like barely able to get into the house. She has to like maneuver her heels over this like rocky gravel walkway. And so and by the way, we got to, and once, once just all goes in, enters, we see Robyn's posh new day core. And she's like, no, that I moved into like a slightly larger house. I redecorated. And it's disgusting. It's like this velvet green couch that was, I swear, she stole it from a reunion. I swear, I've only seen it at the reunions. was I swear she stole it from a reunion. I swear I've only seen it at the reunions. It's like I get that some people like hunting but who kills the who kills the trash monster? What's his name?

She's in the Muppets. Oscar the Grouch. Oscar the Grouch. Yeah. Who hunts for Oscar the Grouch and turns him into a catch? I like to tell she's like she has moved two feet down the street and her house is about three feet bigger than the old house. Exactly. Still though she has Juanipu.

So it's a win. Yeah, real winning. There's some real winning over there. So Karen and Cherise are going to join her to paint a guest room. Yeah, I was like, where is Paige Davis? This is like the real house has a Potomac doing trading spaces with Robin's house. It is kind of amazing. Yeah, and they've decided to reset their fights every episode now, which I'm kind of liking so far.

So Robin's like, well, I've been friends with Karen a long time. So, you know, she has extreme financial hardship and I understand how that can affect your life. So I have nothing but sympathy for her. Now that I've completely publicly humiliated her and put her in her place and told everybody that she cried on the phone with me for three hours. Oh, hugs. Like, hey, you're a real friend, Robin. I know. Great.

Real nice. Real nice. So Karen does, like Karen is all of us. She's wearing gloves. She's like, I'm just wearing gloves to come in this house Yeah, I'm gonna look like I'm gonna paint but I'm actually not gonna touch any of the paint if anyone's any questions about that I'm taking okay page roller question from you No, I shall not be painting. I don't paint. I'm Karen Huger. I watch the page You know what I like to do. I like to watch the paint dry which is much more interesting than anything that you've asked

I mean time recently paint roller Just those like um, I don't know if I can do this with my nails and carrots like, and that's what you get for being a fake bitch. Questions? Press on nails, question, question. So they start writing on the wall. They kick the kids out so they can start drawing on the wall before they paint on it. And of course, just L runs to giant brown penis because it's like the only bit of info she gleaned from the new girl. So she's like, that candy-esque girl said her

husband has a brown penis with a pink tip. I'm very offended. And then Shasha. Yeah. As you say, Shasha, Shasha immediately because they start drawing stuff on the wall first because they're going to paint over it. And Shasha immediately writes something to the effect that Monique said that Gisele needs a ghost reader. So now Jazeal is like, oh, you know, she's clearly saying something to get Jazeal mad, which of course it works. Because now Jazeal, as you mentioned before, she was nice to Monique all season so far and now suddenly she's turning. Yeah, she's like, she's so simple and dumb. And Karen's like, well, have you met

Kathy as yet? And Robins like, I don't know her. Yeah. I like that Robyn's trying to give Mariah Carey shade. Yeah. But she's Robin. I'm glad you could afford someone to come hang some Ross curtains up, honey, but you're no Mariah. OK, calm down over there. No.

She doesn't even go here. I had a vision of one, and it was all I could give it to me. I had a vision of one and it was all I could give it to me. I have a vision of mine. I don't want a one. Don't want a one. Nothing you can say. Take me back to where one used to be. Um, one takes time.

I'll go on. um takes time I'll go on I'll do all the other more raya songs I'm thinking of Robin even though I try one can let go something in one's eyes one's got me feeling emotions deep inside Is one sweet sweet one want to see baby When you want holes my I'm like bang bangling the words and turning them to onwards anyway. It's like a disaster It's over. It's over like a disaster. It's over.

It's a very robbing. OK. It's over, Mariah. She just didn't even go here. OK. So, Robbins, like, well, I can tell you this much. I never want to be broke again. It got so bad, guys, our gas caught off.

And my kids had to take ice cold freezing showers. I was like, well, you shouldn't have decided to become a drop out of high school to become a dinner theater performer robbing. Oh my god, you're really projecting, Ronnie. Really projecting. Well, we also talked about, they also talked about, during that they talked about the bubble soccer again.

And Karen is shocked to learn that she has to play bubble soccer. One has to actually get into a bubble. She's like, wait, wait, wait, wait. We have to get into this bubble ourselves. I mean, I question the age appropriateness of this. What is that? We're not children. Like, Karen, do you remember what you wore to your press conference?

Okay. Come on. Age appropriateness. I know it's funny because now it's Sheree's and Karen, both on the same page. I know it was funny because now it's Sheree's and Karen both on the same page So let's see I got so upset with Ashley. Oh, yeah, it just sells like I just got so upset with Ashley attacking because I don't know who cares. I don't remember. I remember they decided to stop painting Karen's like do we all do? Call the painters. Yeah, you might get a little bit of eye candy. So now we go to Ashley and Michael.

And they're hanging out. And she's like, wait. And he's like, did you tell your mother? She's cut off forever. And she's like, well, yeah, about that. I met with mom. But if I don't cut her off,'m like financially our marriage is over it's like basically if you don't cut her off financially our marriage is over

but I gave tough love he's like are we still paying for a lifestyle she's like yeah okay I'm going to work how many guys do I have to suck before you get rid of your mother because I'll suck them all. I'll keep sucking. I'll keep sucking. Back to the grinder. Yeah. I don't know how many guys I have to hook up with on grinder for you to get the message that if you don't get rid of your mother,

I'm going to go to the other team. I don't know what gave your mother the impression that I'm just hoping to ran with a little patch she can sit in to take care of her for the rest of the, that's right right never mind dollars All right back to the grind it. I'm it I'm ready to aos walk you So everyone starts going to this bubble soccer thing and

Robin and Jasella are driving together and Robin's like, well, this is my first time meeting candy ass and just like Oh, she's a cheerleader. Just see, wait and see. Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap, clap. Wasn't Robin a cheerleader? Robin was a cheerleader in high school, by the way. That was the whole thing. Juan was playing basketball, and Robin was a cheerleader.

Ra-Ra-Sysco. Like the most hard-gator, and it it's gonna eat you up Or it's cold in here. There must be some tors in the atmosphere so I turn the heater something Does anybody have a gas is working. No, it'd be great Give me an R give me an O give me a B give me a Y Give me an B, give me a Y, give me an N, it's me. They're like, how did everybody fall asleep at one time in this entire stadium? Like, Robin, it's a once-girlfriend.

I'm not necessarily human pyramid, why don't we just do like a human, like just like one person. Like, Robin. Look at me, I'm a human pyramid, it's me. Like Robin. Look at me, I'm a human pyramid. Who's me? Can I be like a human hot instead, just like a one small structure, I just give me.

Okay, so then we get you bubble soccer and Robyn just shows of just, look, Robin was horrible poor. Robin is like three times as gross with new curtains. I wanna, yeah, I just wanna say. I'm just like being a total b-odge. I would like to clarify that I actually really liked Robin in the first two seasons. I was actually a big Robin fan.

I just liked her a lot. And I feel like this season, she just sort of has like an attitude. It's not even like, I don't even know how to describe it, but she just has an attitude, which I know that like two years from now, I'm going to be like, I miss when Robin had an attitude. That was like the best. I didn't really appreciate it at the time, but it's true. Right now, I'm not appreciating it. And I will grow to appreciate it, but right now, I don't like her attitude. She's just like the worst since the beginning. She went out, she teamed up with Giselle to go

after the Jewish black girl. Then the next season, she teamed up with Jacelle and went and screamed it actually in her restaurant. Like, I think she's just gross and she's a mean girl. This is me putting my finger in your face. So for me, the shocking part was that Sherman, Jacelle's Sherman used to play basketball. And there was like a picture of him playing basketball. I was like, what? Sherman?

Sherman? Sherman? I'm surprised. That was like, that was the surprise I was seeing thing for me. That's all. I just had to really get that off my chest. I want people to know how surprised I was. I am taking questions. Okay. Big pen question for Ben. Okay, Barrow T. Paper towel man. You're next. All right. Question from complimentary sunglasses from Apparel Spritz. Yes, you. So Robin goes up to Candace and she's like, oh, so you're Candace. Candace is like, yeah, we met very briefly. I don't think we did.

Um, you introduced yourself to me? Um, no. I think you're in a funk maybe. Sort of like right now. Like, right, like, right. Yeah, that. I'm sorry, I just don't remember like can't you fake it Rob and just say oh yeah it was nice to meet you yeah it's like

the easiest thing or just when she said I think we met oh yeah of course I'm so stupid it's gonna be like no I don't remember I don't remember it's a power play and it's like not appreciated also I'll say you look like an hour and a half away stop trying to power play and it's like not appreciated. Also, you look like an hour and a half away. Stop trying to power play people, lady. Yeah, hand over. Also, Jacelle has giant ruffles on her sporty top, which I thought was funny. She was not content just to wear something

from the Nike store. She is like, I need to make sure that this outfit has ruffles. Yeah, she was all over the place. And she also wore a collar with like, Pokohanis fringe on it. So I just killed Pokohan Tassah. Now we will talk about, make a joke.

So let's see here. So they're all standing around. And Chris is there. We should also mention that Chris is his restaurant. We'll be catering this bubble soccer. We'll come back to that. But, Jacelle, she's like, I can't look at Chris because of his brown dick. You know, which is kind of funny that they would bring that up.

It's also the poor guy. He's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's, he's just, he's just, he's So she'll bring anything she hears against you and just attack you with it for an hour She's a horrible human being and so is Robin and I'm so glad they're on this show But you know by the way you can tell that Chris has had to deal with this brown dick situation for a long time because he'd seem totally unfazed He wasn't like oh my god. You know that it's been like Months and months of every time that can't just meet someone who's Chris has got a brown dick. It's pink at the end. It's a brown. He's a white guy. He's got brown dick Yeah, and then Robin's like, well, do you think that you would you would like it if he was talking about your private barton, Bob? Like, oh, yeah, Robin. You're really the one to talk about like what a positive relationship should be. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, for someone who's always like, but oh,

Oh, sit on it. Yes. She She certainly has a lot of things to say. So Candy asked us not fall for the bait. Or she doesn't take the bait, which I was proud of her, because she took a lot of haze in this a lot. Yeah, and she did not, but just a laugh, a lot. That was good.

That was a really good one, because I remember last week, you were like, hard, hard, hard, but that one, what you just did there, of that was good. That was a really good one. Because I remember last week, you were like, hard, hard, hard, hard, that one, right. What you just did there, that was really good. What was? How did you do it? Will you take questions from the press corps? Scotch tape.

I don't know how you, how you master that laugh. Oh, Scotch tape. I will only listen to Bluetooth speaker. Bluetooth to a turd. Okay. So they get in there starting to get in these bubbles and Robin's like it smells kind of body odoration here. Robin, it's rubber into you. Like who are you gonna blame?

Yeah, to be fair, it looked like it was like 85% humidity that day, it was like 90 degrees. So I understand why it may not have been like the most fun thing to climb into this like plastic bubble This constrictive plastic bubble womb So Robin and Robin and Candace both get into this it was Candace Yeah, it was Candace. They both get their bubbles to do like a bubble soccer chest run So they get into them and they're gonna like do like a bubble soccer test run. So they get into them and they're gonna like do like a bubble duel where they're just gonna crash into each other like two mountain goats.

And because she's like, like what Robin's gonna do well at any sport she does, but those big linebacker shoulders. I sure enough, the girls just like run straight at each other and like I am shocked, Candice did not just get punted to the next county. She practically did. It cut to commercial with her going, I can't breathe. So let's see here Karen brings Matt and refuses to get in the ball, which is her lawyer assistant friend friend, butler, slash account

Matt. He loves her. He loves Minnie Mouse because he's basically wearing Minnie Mouse's dress. Look, why would he wear that? Like red with red look at odds. And he's being like gay assistant shady. He's been like, look at these bubbles. This is ridiculous.

Why would everyone get in these bubbles? And she's like, well, Ray, I can't come out here and run the risk of hurt myself when he has to work to pay Uncle Sam. Be care and say that. Yes. And then, yeah, Monique shows up with her cousin hang because obviously, well, Chris was doing something, but obviously, even she says, Chris wouldn't fit in those bubbles anyway. I mean, those bubbles are basically like, like those, like those things that kids put on their arms when I learn to swim. What do you call those things? Yeah. Flodies. It's basically like you would put it on his arm, you

know? All right. Where's my second one? Where are we going to go swimming? Michael, I think is the only other husband who shows up this time from Chris right yeah and What's her buttons candy ass is like oh? This is supposed to be a couple thing. Where is everybody? It's cup all Michael You welcome to season one of a reality show you won't have one here next year either Yeah, exactly poor Shaw Shaw. She doesn't have like a plus one friend. She, it's me and I brought my hoverboard with my plus one. I'm gonna have a hoverboard fucker event. Did you notice that Shasha was running a shirt that said,

no pain, no fan pain. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Shasha. I noticed it said something, but I'll I really saw because the other word, the last word is in gold. So I just saw no pain and I was like I love that sir. I need to get that no pain

And so it's being a t-shirts Candace actually made special t-shirts for all of them and they're like we are not wearing these It's too hot. We're not putting on another layer. You stupid little twit and she's good at dealing with housewives I'm really impressed. Okay, well as long as we can eat them when we eat I'll be happy And they're like okay like she's she's bargaining with them. I Know I and I thought that the t-shirts clearly had her husband's restaurant on them So she was like saying like wear them so we could get the the camera time But I don't think they even had that. I think it just says something like Housewives soccer bubble bubble soccer or something like that. I was like,

oh, yeah, they showed the sign. Yeah, they just showed his sign for like two seconds. Look, poor guys getting ripped off for Chris. And you can't have a bunch of large balls around without Michael getting horned. So he starts pretending to hump Ashley in the bubble. I was like, can we, can we not, can we not? Finally, someone explaining what happens to nuts us for your 50s. Let's pretend like we're too koalas. Let's get, get, get, I'll stick my didgeridoo into your, into your koala sec. It's like, okay, but after this, we're going to visit my mom's boyfriend and his tent.

He's behind that tree over there. Go, damn it. Hi. Do you want me to get you Adelaide? Get it? Adelaide? You want to get Adelaide? It's playing the red light. Let's Adelaide. It's a city in Australia. You gotta think about it. You want to take one in the goal?

Sheeler. Sheeler. Jizzel's like, oh my god, look at Sharice. She's like, she's been through a thunderstorm, huh? Yeah. And Karen's like, that's normal for her. Question. The question is they don't want to know about the storm front coming through. I have I have lots of things to say about the high pressure system question. Yes. This is for the picnic basket over there on the side. Yes. Yes. So the food is late. It's

stuck in the back. I just want to point out by the way that when they start playing bubble soccer, first of all, it looks super fun, super, super fun. But you see them playing it. And then, and then when they're all Donaco's game duration, two and a half minutes. And they're like, okay, let's, let's eat. It's like the Kentucky Derby. And we've knocked a new girl over and almost broke her neck. Okay, we're done. Yeah. So now they're like, we're hot, we're sweaty. Shree's looks like she just walked through a car wash. So can we eat now? And unfortunately, Chris's food is not arrived yet.

So like, yes. And Ashley's like, you cannot get away without feeding these women. It's like a club family reunion. And Karen's like, if you're going to do something for these women, come correct. Like if you have a press conference, bring your pencils and peanuts, that's what he'd do. That's how you hold an event. But I do like a...

Question. Okay, so everybody gets lunch and they're like, cheers to balls. So Michael's lucky. Cheese, double cheese. Everybody cheese. Won't sleep my notes. Yeah, we also got a quick shot of the Potomac deer, which is always necessary.

Anyway, go on. I've missed that little deer, the terrifying little deer. The deer was there, the deer was there. So Candice makes a toast of balls because the food finally arrives and it's not they're all hungry. I have, my suspicion is that production blocked the road to make these women grouchy. So they poured some sort of drink and just like,

it was like a thick syrup, it was not even juice, it was ooze, because it was thick syrup. Like that was a good, I was like, that's some good leave the J off of juice, you know, there. Yeah, she makes no sense. She's just gonna be a cut fitness to everybody about every single little thing. I'm like, you're already going after the juice, Jizelle.

For Christ's sake, you've gone after the hostess already at this party. Now you're going after juice. To be fair, I would be the same thing. If I were on a reality show, I'd be like, that juice is nasty. Like, why would I stay at this party? I think I'm certainly nasty as juice. So'd be like, that juice is nasty. Why would I stay at this party if I was going to serve me nasty ass juice?

So Karen is like, oh, so many. Have you spent time with Candace? And Monique's like, yes, the conversation went like this. And then they show the clip of that charity lunch or that lady empowerment lunch. And Candace is like, well, the first thing people ask about my husband is, is his dick wider than brown. And it's brown it's like the story she just tells wherever she goes

yeah I was like is that what she used in her Miss USA pageant probably is probably what she got boom sure boom sure boom sure my husband stick is brown it's dick is brown the pink pink, but the stick is brown. He's a white guy with a brown dick. It's brown dick with pink tip. It's strange, but I really like it a lot. So, a few rocks.

Not the fake mortified about it. And she's like, in Sherees goes, why do you tell everybody about your husband, Dick. And she's like, and Sheree goes, why have you tell everybody about your husband, they, and she's like, well, my black friends had never seen a white dick before. And Chris is like, do we have to talk about my dick again? So I knew the question was coming, honey. And Robin's like, oh, no, oh, she's, well,

not from you, Robin. She's like, not from any of us. Oh, sweet night. Do I know you? Where am I? So then the food is being served finally and Karen's like, do we have any napkins? Where are the napkins? Where are the napkins?

I'm not licking my damn fingers. I'm Karen Euger. I don't lick my damn fingers. I wipe them with a napkin. That's what an adult does. Yes. Question to Kimberly Clark over there. Yes. Ray may have Clark over there. Yes. Ray may have been short on his taxes, but he's never short on napkins. Any questions? One ply only. One ply only.

So, Ashley, you're taking this girl under the wing. Tell her about napkins. Sure, Chuck. Napkin mentor. Yeah. Yeah. Ashley. does she know about paper towels? Does she know that paper towels can be used as napkins too in a bind? I will do that. I mean, I am a lady of the people. Well, unfortunately, there are no napkins. And Sheree says like, would you be offended if I use this foot of the napkin?

So they obviously use their shirts. You know who is a nice piece of eye candy is that? Bronnie, man, he's quite the eye candy, quite. Thank you, ma'am. Can I ask another question? No, Bronnie, man, you had your chance. Bronnie just looked pretty. Look pretty and soak up spills. I'm loving Karen the season because she's doing a hundred times more of the hmm where she just like purses her lips and looks up and down like with this hmm but it's after saying things that make this sense she's like teacher about the napkins hmm you might not have any

new napkins but I'll be able to wipe up this mess hmm it's like sick napkin prune Karen yeah so as she's like speaking of the wedding, what happens? Like, that's right. I'm getting married. So you know, no one cares. We know. So and she's telling the girls, she's like, I mean, I'm killing with my mom and my mother is a bride, Dylan, this wedding. And she's like, oh, so she's paying. Yeah, and so basically everyone starts questioning about how much her mom pays for it because that's what these women care the most about.

Like who pays for this? Why are you selling your house? That's where you sold your house. That's where you bought that, you know? So Candice is very upfront. She's like, well, my mom pays for half the mortgage on the house. And when we're like, huh?

She's like, yeah, I mean, she calls that her vacation house because basically she comes up once a month and she has her own floor. So that's what happens. And like, so? She's like, yeah, I mean, she calls that her vacation house because basically she comes up once a month and she has her own floor. So that's what happens. And like, so what do you pay for? She's like, well, she pays for a lot. And they're like, why are you not getting angry and defensive? Like, we're trying to ask about your finances.

And that's when camera's like, you know, honey, little non-rabeant, you can ask about, you know what you say these women? You say, I don't want to talk about my finances. I love these women. Okay. I can't believe they can't finances. I love these women, okay? I can't believe that Candace's already going off to junior year of her marriage.

You say none of your business, that's what you say to these women. No more questions, that's what you say. You say this press conference is over. And Candace just lays out everything. She's like, okay, here's what they're gonna be mean to me about. He's divorced, he has kids from another marriage,

so they're out of state, I want them here. And she's like, oh, you're gonna be mean to me about. He's divorced. He has kids from another marriage. So they're out of State. I want them here. And she's like, Oh, you're gonna pay for the mama to come up to come up here. Like she's To sell is so horrible. And then is it Sharice? Who says what is that brown dick? What is that brown dick pay for? Yeah, Shasha goes what is Chris pay for with the brown dick? My way to wedge that in there Sharice Well, I did a crisp pay-po with the brown dick. Like, wait a wedge that in there, Sharice. And Candace is just totally unfazed. Like, no one, and that's when Karen is like, you don't have to answer these questions, Raven.

Fake Raven, you don't have to answer any of them. And then it gets sidetracked because Karen's rig starts to fall off. And we then pretty much the rest of the episode was watching Karen try to readjust her rig. And she's like, no, I have it. I have it. And they're like trying to help her. She's like swatting the way.

She's like putting her sunglasses on her forehead and putting it down like that. And then like they're on the back of her head. Like it turns like cousin it's and it's just it looks like someone dumped a whole bunch of spaghetti on her head. And she's just trying to sort it out. You like, no, no, I got. Did you notice she did the Porsche hold on hold on. Yeah, I got.

I got I got I I got She goes I've got more to tell hold on hold on hold on. It's not about this. Okay sunglasses. You happen. Oh God It's like it's like trying to get away from her So they try make her in a way She's like bashing a babushka like bonnet out of like the t-shirt like yeah, here we go out of like the t-shirt like here we go look I'm half of the old country now Candace is like Karen if you need I have a hairline it's like oh no dear I need a hairline not a hairline and then she tries to act all cool about it in the interview she's like I just really is wearing wig I know how to do a little quick little adjustment and everything's fine

I'm like that was not a quick little adjustment that was like you were shaking lights out of your hair it was just going back and forth. I felt bad for her. She's mortified. It's happening on camera. She knows we're all gonna make fun of it. It's weird. Because people make fun of her hair as it is. It was so funny. Everyone was cracking up. It was like the thing was trying to run away from her. And then she does what you just did. She went and like, did that finger suit thing? She's like, this is near. And then, but it was that look, but with that,

the terrifying thing. Someone made a gift of it and put it on the Facebook page. And I just cannot stop staring at it, correct me up. Oh my goodness, that was so funny. That was, you know, it was funny because the episode was actually only okay. It was just like they all went to Bubble Soccer. They painted, they went to Bubble Soccer

and I was like, eh, it's sort of bummer that like, our first Atomic episode that we're covering on the main show, like it's actually one of the dollar episodes. But then it's like, no, we're gonna give you a little something fun at the end here. And I was like, you know what? Atomic season three, it's it's it's working. It's doing its thing. Oh yeah. Well, welcome back to the main show, Potomac. We've missed you. Everybody

go get live show tickets at watch at crappens.com. We'll see you guys in Chicago next week. Oh yeah. And we will be back tomorrow for a little Vando pump rules. We also have a special for a little Vanderpump rules. We also have a special interview, extra bonus episode this week with the Vanderpump rules party girls. We're going to be talking to those gays tonight after the finale a little bit and then we'll be back with both that episode and a full recap to Madraw. Yeah, it should be super fun, can't wait for it, loving it, living it, being it. Bye everybody. Bye. I can't wait for it, loving it, living it, being it. My everybody, bye. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.