Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Barnstorming

Episode Date: September 22, 2020

Real Housewives of Potomac was chock full of drama this week. First, Michael 'fesses up to "taking the bait" and going back a hotel with a random girl. But don't worry guys — he passed out immediately and when he came to, he was half naked and lying next to a woman. NOTHING HAPPENED. Then it's off to a barn for some wine tasting where all hell breaks loose between Monique and Candiace. It's the fight we've been preparing for all season, and now it's finally here! Sort of? We'll have to wait for next week for all the juicy details.Team Monique or Team Candiace?Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on ye old bravo tv. And also some Netflix and maybe some other places we're expanding like a giant octopus. I'm Ben Madelker of the game brain podcast. If you're a board game geek like I am, go check that out. And I'm also of the real house where it's a

kitchen island. And joining me is the one and only the lovable Ronnie Carram. How's it going Ronnie? Wow. Hi. We have just kept on. I'm, my life is great, honestly right now. Like, I'm very happy because we just kept off an amazing week. Last week we were on Watcher Happens Live, which was super cool. Like, really great response from that.

Our podcasts got like, as of yesterday, we were number 150 in the top 200 overall. Like, that's not just like in the TV and film category. That's like of like the, like, the famous people who have famous podcasts category. So that was like, that's really, really cool. So honestly, thank you everyone who is listening and spreading the word about our show and supporting us.

It's just like this crazy rollercoaster ride that seems to just keep on going in these fascinating directions and places. It's basically like getting on a rollercoaster at Action Park. You never know if you come out on Dead or Alive, but it's certainly gonna be a story, you know? Or it's like one of those at Universal Studios

where the nothing moves, like you just go into a room and like nothing really moves except the TV screen. But you still feel like you've been on a ride. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So this ride is going to continue. Bravo has some gaps in its schedule coming up. You probably, because of coronavirus, probably messed up production, et cetera, et cetera. So we are going to be filling in these gaps.

This week we are going to be recapping the home edit on Thursday. That's that, that home organization show with Reese Witherspoon. We're going to do that on Thursday since we don't have Beverly Hills. So start watching, start watching that get ready for that. And then next week, this is something we're really excited about because we both love this show and we haven't really ever given it the full crap and treatment. Next week we are doing the Great British Bake Off

because the new season starts this Friday. It's starting to air on Netflix. So next week, we're also going to be, we're going to be, I think, covering it on next Thursday. And then I think we're gonna be moving it to Wednesdays. Don't quote me on that, but the point is this, great British Bake-Off. Great British Bake-Off.

We have a done better with your crackle. Good bake, good bake. And then the last really fun thing here in terms of programming announcements is that this week's bonus episode, we will be recapping my octopus teacher, which if you haven't heard about it, it's like this documentary on Netflix about a guy

who becomes friends with an octopus and like it's slowly becoming a thing that everyone's talking about and who are we to deny an octopus love story. So we will be into that. I mean, it's amazing. We both watched it. I cannot wait to talk about that. Yeah, I'm like, I'm very triggered by pyjama sharks right now. Like, fuck those sharks.

Fuck those sharks. This is assholes. The jama sharks really are assholes and I hate their jewelry eyes. They have like cheap costume jewelry eyes. Yeah. Yeah. And their mouths are like, hi, I sort of look like a catfish, but guess what? I'm a shark. It's a shark that is actually catfishing like it is literally catfishing It's like oh look at that catfish. No, I'm a shark Yeah, so we're gonna be talking about that and today we have real housewives of Potomac serving up betrayers Oh, yeah big big episode so Oh, yeah. Big, big episode.

So, um, yeah, let's just dive into it, shall we, Rondle? Well, we dive in with our Apple suite of products in Final Cut Pro. Yes. TV's blurring! Is this, are we watching this on a BCR? It's like we're on Karen's old living room on a beta max. It's on a beta max video machine. Yeah, it's basically the first like 30 seconds of the show

is what happens when you go to Caron's house and race it's on the remote. Like, hey, get off the remote. It's like fast forward, play, fast forward, play, rewind. Right, right, you're on the remote. What's that? What's that? Don't you hate home workouts?

Well, let me tell you, I hate home workouts too, which is why I created an home workout. That's one of the things they showed last night after was after this it was after some bravo show Like a late night commercial came on she's like you guys I hate home workouts So I've created a home workout for you What the fuck is there? What's up with yourself loving home workout? Pajama Shark. So, um, yeah, so it's basically all this footage, like, is Michael Dobby in his box of briefs at the hotel, checking his phone, and look, there's people talking,

and there's more people talking, and there's Monique walking with Chris. How about that? Can't just drop down to the live podcast. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh. If I got 40 DMs, she must have got 40,000 DMs. All right, guys. You're starting to sound like Brandy Glendale.

So then we get classic one week earlier, boom, boom, boom, boom boom and it's Candace in the recording studio and she's singing A song it's like a remix of the song she sang at her wedding, which I didn't you remember she sang a song But of course she sang a song and so she's doing a remix Not the worst Yeah, not the worst we've heard on Bravo, not the best. She's a little flat dog, a little pitchy. You know, sort of had a 90s vibe to it, but she's very excited, very excited by this. And she talks about go-go music.

See, I didn't even have to have my little go-go music monologue from two weeks ago, because Candace was going to do it for me. I know. I felt like that was for you. Yeah. So this was this is all remix to go-go music, but it's also the music that they use for the interstitials on the show. So like she kind of just did a real house-size at Potomac remix version of it. And apparently Chris is really good at, you know, the selling songs. Like she came out with this song, so he just started sending it to everybody. And I was like, wow, that's amazing.

It would be nice if he could remember napkins at a barbecue. Yeah. How about that? You know, good for you. And so they got a famous producer to do her song. And it's pretty much what you think it is, you know. Yeah. It's actually.

Happy birthday to you. Yeah, that's basically what it is. Candice goes, you know, it just made sense to remix my love song to my husband. Like, no, did it really make sense? Did it really, like, were you thinking, were you thinking yourself, oh, God, we're out of butter? I should probably remix my love song to my husband.

Like, where was the logic that led you to say that, decision? And were you thinking yourself, oh god, we're out of butter. I should probably remix my love song to my husband. Like, where was the logic that led you to that decision? Yeah. And she's like, literally, we were in his office and I was blown away by NAS records and Biggie records just sitting right there on his wall. Now imagine how they're going to feel when they come and see your record on my wall. I know. I know.

RIP Biggie. Biggie is like, I died for this. So, uh, can't it get such a dichotomy from the shenanigans that they cause from hell? So dichotomy from the shenanigans. Okay. Okay. again. It's such a diabolical dichotomy of shenanigans. So Candace is at the side, she's officially done with Monique. Ever since Monique got mad about that fire pit, she's like, you know what, I'm done. I had to stay in this awful house with terrible colors on the walls and I am done. And you know what, Monique, she's plastic.

She's plastic, which is a bold accusation on a real housewife show to call someone Exactly. Here comes a luxury car, a petrol curb. Can we get the sound of a door creaking open very creepily for this? I know. And then we hear Jacelle's echoey voice like it's supposed to like us be inside Ash's head saying Bob. Her friend and the wife, boyfriend and the wife. So we go in and Michael is typical Michael when he's caught cheating, which is like every five minutes on this. Yes. It's not like this is not our first time at the Michael Thuck,

somebody rodeo. So every time he's caught cheating, he looks like a dog that's about to be put down. He has just those really old dog watery eyes. Yes, you know, and he puts himself into a blazer. And he's like, all right, let's go to a casual restaurant with my blazer and make me look more apologetic than usual. Right. So they sit down at their high top as usual.

They always go to a high top, I feel like. Was it a high top? In my mind, it's a high top. They have like high top, yeah. They have like high top energy. I feel like they will always go for a high top, In my mind, it's a high top. They have like high top, yeah. They have like high top energy. I feel like they will always go for a high top, which is funny because if I have a choice, I'm never really gonna go for a high top.

I find that- We're not high top people. We'll both leave a restaurant over a high top. We've done it before. Yeah, without leak, you know, it's like, especially don't give me a high top with a stool that has nothing for my feet. Because if my feet are just dangling

and I'm at a high top, I mean, I might as well just be eating at that thing that the real house was with land that that crane that looked at the Acropolis, okay, I don't want that yeah Yeah, I'm not a high top person. I find it very offensive when I'm sat at a high top. I'm like excuse me That was so pretty to the bar. No, I don't want to just sit at the bar. How about that? Okay? That was so British of you Ronnie when you said I find it very I find it very offensive when I'm sat at a high top That is so British. I'm sat at our top Well, that's how we speak in restaurants

So The waiter comes over and he's like oh my god We're gonna get you or whatever and Michael's like I can't even eat right now. I don't know how you can eat How can you even eat? You're the one in trouble. Why the fuck shouldn't she be able to eat? Yeah, she should be eating her feelings right now. Okay, that's what she deserves. Okay, so, and she says what I always say

when someone's like, Ronnie, how can you eat again? I'm breastfeeding, okay? Yeah. Back off. So she tells us that last night she got texts from Monique and Robin about this article that was basically that all the pictures of Michael, et cetera. And she's like, well, I saw the picture and I said,

I know those underwear. So I called my husband and I said, get your ass home right now and he walks through the door and he sits on the couch and he tells me what happened and I was very, very, very upset, but I didn't want to be yelling with the baby in the house and cameras out of the house. So that's how I overhear a dinner. Yeah, so I'm going to just expose the entire world to my drama.

And as they deliver their Brussels sprouts and Caesar salad, this is the music. They're like, here's your Brussels sprouts and Caesar salad. It's like, oh! Oh! Oh! Yeah! I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, that is so scary about that. Delivered by Nurse Ratchet herself. Yeah.

Yeah. Wow, that's quite a show. So Ashley, there's a long silence while Michael just, you know, looks around. Fanning his eyes, they get more watery. Like could we get more particles in the air here? Can we light something on fire? So every time he does something wrong,

the air just fills with pollen. It's like the superpower. So Ashley's like, well, I mean, this was a good idea to come to this apple piece. I'm controlling my emotions much better here. And I'm really glad that you're telling me in a very public setting, because I have to tell you right now now I don't know if this relationship will ever be the same like I didn't know we would ever be having this conversation yes you did Ashley because you married fucking Michael how many reunions do you need to have with this gift on your face she's like I never

thought my husband of all people would be like this okay so there's season one two three four and five of this show okay so go check those out and then report I thought my husband of all people would be like this. Okay, so there's season one, two, three, four, and five of this show. Okay, so go check those out and then report back. Yeah, he's like, oh, I never thought we'd be having this conversation either. Well, I never thought my husband would be doing this. I thought we were on the same page.

He's like, well, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. You know, I just didn't know, Randall those women. I didn't want it coming around them. It's like, oh yes, the big villains, all the other women, you know, I'm not saying that they're very nice, but you're the one who did wrong here, okay? Yeah, that's not the time to be throwing stones.

And there's a lot of, and there's a lot of, like not so subtle women shaming in this entire, like in this scene and going forward, you'll notice that Michael paints himself to be this innocent victim who gets learned into this web, okay, and then Ashley picks it up as well, and it really pisses me off because it's like an age old trope that women,

women can only do, the only thing that women can do is like learn men into their web and seduce them and then destroy their lives, that's what women do. It's like, yeah, this was definitely like a Russian spy story. Yeah. Once we get the story. So she tells us the story. She's like, well, he went to the strip club with his friends and then he met this girl and him and his friends were going to go to the MGM and they told the girls and then the girls showed up. It's like, oh, okay. So the spy showed up. And then one of the girls says, well,

do you want to go up to the hotel room and so they did. And then they kissed in the cab, but then he fell asleep. And then when he woke up, the girl was next to him. Like, oh, so she knew his hotel room number and had the key. Okay. He's just so innocent. He's just so poor innocent lamb. He's now admittedly, whoever whoever did seduce Michael

Was for sure shady as fuck because this woman did take footage of him entering the hotel and took that picture So she was like, oh, I'm documenting this. I think that actually she's just like a huge patomic superfan And it's like we are putting this to bed once and for all like I'm literally putting him to bed And we're gonna show Ashley that he cheats, okay? I am doing this, I'm taking one for the team, I'm seducing him so that way finally, Ashley will leave his ass. That's the only way I can view this.

But still, this talk about like, oh, he was so drunk that he fell asleep. Like, oh, like, that's not great. Like, what is he doing getting so drunk, going home with strangers and kissing in the car, right? Like you have a child, okay, who may not literally be at home but is off at some tacky house instead, but you do have a child, so why are you acting this way?

Like that alone, that alone is terrible. And also refused to come on this couple's trip or whatever, made her take the baby and then got a hotel room. I mean, that's, mean yeah that doesn't say guilt and then when I woke up she was lying in the bed next to me and was like well then how did you get into your underwear right like what about how did that happen because a lot of people when they pass out they just pass out in their clothes and that's how they stay okay so like there's a lot of stuff that's not adding up to me. And then-

Yeah, I mean, when you're cheating on your- when you're cheating on your spouse, you need to be like, you're walking into- to watch the Ellen show. Okay, you need to be like, everybody hand over your phones are going in this box until the end. Yeah. Okay. You know, any- let me patch you up and down, make sure there's no recording devices. Exactly. For the white shows, Ellen.

I think because I just saw that Ellen, you know, showed up to apologize at her show or whatever. And I'm sure her apology was pretty much like Michael's like, oh, I had no idea. They were women, they were messing with me, sitting in a bed, taking pictures of me, abusing Mr. F. I had no idea that all that everyone crying every day on my staff was crying because we're being mistreated I thought they just were soon pressed with the show that they thought well I'm emotionally moved by Ellen and a kindness. I know what can solve all of this. Let's dance So yeah, so he so basically like he wait he woke up and she was lying next to him and then oh and then Michael gets up. He got up to check the time and then that's when she's not the photo and sent it to a blog

And as she says it is if that's the big crime like ooh look at this awful person who took a picture of him While he was checking his phone and sent it to a blog. I'm like, that should not be where the stress of your story is. The stress is that he made out with her drunk, he went back to the hotel, and at that point, you know, like he should, like, yeah, it's shady, it's tacky what this woman did. But like, yeah, this woman, this woman is a piece of shit too, okay? Don't get me wrong, but but still she's not in your marriage

But like he's been caught. He's been in this situation so many times. It's like where is your where's your head at sir? Where's your head at? It's just like terrible You know, it's really hard to respect a terrible criminal and that's why it's hard for me to watch Fargo Yeah, cuz they're just all terrible criminals like I like a smart criminal. I like a bumbling criminal I actually I like it. I like it. So here's the thing. I like a bumbling criminal. I actually I like it. So here's the thing. I like a bumbling criminal It stresses me out for sure. I get stressed out by a bumbling criminal But I do enjoy a bumbling criminal But with Michael, he's just like a sloppy criminal. He's not even bumbling

He's just because usually there's like a smart criminal and a bumbling one the bumbling one ruins it for the smart one But here. It's just Michael and like yeah, he's just bummed and bummed and and he's just a sloppy Sloppy criminal sloppy criminal, so he's like well, I wasn't considerate but and here we go We knew we were gonna hear this right you called this last week We lost all intimacy and I was craving some of that. Oh really? You were just craving some intimacy from your wife So you you got together with a stripper in the hotel.

It's her fault. It's her fault that she had a baby and tore up her anus. That's her fault. You were the one that wanted a baby. So yeah, it's all her fault. So she's like, what, so you were craving that? It's like, well, obviously I was wrong. And she's like, OK, let's just add something new to this.

Because obviously, this has been going on for years So let's just clear the air. Obviously you and I are not a traditional couple and the music we get that we get the Brussels sprout music She's like, obviously we're not a traditional couple I mean if there was a girl who liked me and I liked the girl And we would do whatever together, you know That's how we operated in the past meaning like you know they had three sums with you with another girl because that's okay But apparently it's not okay to have it with two guys apparently that's not okay Yeah, and so there's a long quiet pause while he waters up and he's like here

But I've always done it with you. She's like yeah, and what if I told you I don't want to do that ever ever again Well, I was suppose we would have to sit down with the pie chart and a long stick that I could pose to Point to a blackboard with and we could go over the pros and cons of my she's like no I like to call that reviewing a document. Yeah, this is not a discussion. You get this guy has such balls. He's like, well, I guess we'd have to discuss that. She's like, no, I'm telling you right now. He goes, the fun's over.

The fun. Which is like, how dare you say that to you? Okay, the fun's over. So like, okay, God forbid she's pregnant. God forbid she like carried your genes into this world. God forbid she should ripped up her whole like you know her hindquarters over this whole thing And now like the fun's over because she decided that she wants a little bit more attention from her man Instead of him going you know out with you know Betty go Betty go blogger, you know, so like oh he's so disgusting He probably is gross.

Come on, Shoez. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasai. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and

lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondering Out. So he's mad, right? And she's like, well, I'm not going to stay in this, you know, we could peacefully exit this right now. And he's like, there's too much at stake. There's a three-month-old in this now.

So, well, I'm not just saying for the baby. Okay? And if I find out anything else, it will be catastrophic beer and it's like actually just like fake, you know, James Corden comes over. And by the way, can I just say real quickly before we get into this part that when he when when she's like if if like now's the chance to peacefully exit this, if that's what you want. And he says there's too much estate, there's a three month old baby. How about you say no, because I love you. Not like, oh, there's too much at stake. Okay, she's not like, she's not like a PowerPoint demonstration. You've been working on for five days and you don't want to like trash it.

Okay. Like, please tell your wife that you love her and that's why you want to stay. Yeah. Well, he's so romantic. So James Gordon comes up and Michael's like, did you hear what just happened in our relationship? So it's a rat then it's a rob and then asked you's like well fuck this. I'm gonna actually you don't camera Yeah, I just told us something that's affected our relationship forever. Okay, we've been truthful Okay, I've been very truthful that I still want to be here

And we've been accused of all sorts of shit and we've been truthful, okay? So I don't know what else you want me to do. Yeah, I wish they had queued the news footage of when they went on that morning show and were so truthful. He's like, what? Touching it behind, I would never in my life. That was completely untruthful. People just don't know how to take a joke.

Yeah, and so the producers like, well, I do appreciate you guys being honest and real about this Kyle Richards is just sent a flora bouquet that spells out open and honest You can pick that up on the way out open and honest guys good job I just didn't think there's anything left in me. There's just nothing left in me Except an incisible edge to grab your ass right now close your eyes and pretend this is a latest cup. Okay If only I had an aster hold. Hey! Sorry. Sorry. It didn't mean that. You're saying that it's a goddamn lie. Sorry, producer. I didn't mean to grab your ass. I thought you

on one of those buttons that says, tell us how we did and I was just giving it a little tap of a rube. So he's like, well, we're taking off on microphones. I ain't done with this. And she's like, well, I never wanted to talk about our business and what goes on in our personal life on camera, which is why I brought you to this restaurant with cameras in it. And the producer's like, okay, okay, fine.

He's like, droink. Now, what was this little breaking of the fourth wall moment supposed to demonstrate? Was this like Michael saying he's not gonna talk about it anymore? So if we're wondering why he doesn't talk about it, it's because he said it right here. Like I didn't totally understand this moment.

I think they're just loving showing the people that production is bad at now, to let them to cut off the cameras. It's like a new thing on Bravo. It's happening on every show right now, and I'm loving it. Yeah, it's great. I just didn't make sense to me.

Another show's it made sense. It was like, oh, like someone's trying to control their narrative. But here he's like, all right, the fun's over. I'm gonna stay in the marriage because I like the pancakes you make for me in the morning. And I won't have sex with other people and tell you about it. And that's it. All right, can we cut that? I've said everything I need to say.

Done. So let's go over to the NFL yeah, oh We're lazy mom's office. Yeah, so Monique is she you know what she needed some office that way she gets Some work done because there just was enough room in that compound for a little home office was there No, there wasn't so she has now spent more Chris's money and you know I hate to fall into that trope about the wife spending the husband's money but I think in money it's cases this is what it is and she's got some office space and she's talking about how like you know the not-for-lazy mom's website has been doing great, but now she wants to get the local in-person,

Not for Lazy Moms thing built up. AKA, she wants to start her MLM. Like she's like, let's get this MLM army going. Yeah, and so she's got all these employees and stuff and she's very business-y business-business. She's like, all right, we're the ticket sales. And Leaf is like, well like well right now we've got 20 out of 300

Wow One of the ladies is like well we can do giveaways ticket giveaways and shenanigans like I already give so much Okay, we're at 80,000 in overhead What is she doing? Okay, Monique's an idiot. I'm sorry. Okay, like someone get to Chala and hear to run this company because this is not how it's done.

Monique is one of those people that has no idea how to run a business but she sees it around and then she's like, I'm just gonna copy what I think I'm supposed to do. So I'm gonna spend all this money on the things that it looks like I'm supposed to do for business. I'm gonna get an office.

I'm gonna hire this person, this person, this person, but all you have is a flimsy concept that I'm not really sure has even been proven to work. You know, like a- Girl, a podcast, get yourself a snowball microphone on Amazon, okay? Okay. I'm okay.

What the hell are you talking about? Get a snowball, it's like $40 and then pay for a Skype recorder. Yeah, it's called, you like use GarageBand, like I mean I got the sense that the $80,000 was for the entire business, but then I was like did she spend $80,000 on this live podcast? Like what is she doing? Why is she spending $80,000 and she like building a stadium? I just don't understand. Yeah, I have Chris like stomped his foot and then used that like to put 300 people in, you know, like it's just, it's ridiculous.

Yeah. And she says she was having a, she had a good momentum going with her business, but then she was full blown pregnant. She had to take off. And she's like, well, I'm going to meet with my accountant next week. And she's going to give me a full blown rundown of what I've spent, which I get that rich people have that, but snowball, okay? Snowball and a host monster account and a weably redragon drop like your picture.

You literally do not need to spend $80,000 to sell. We don't even know what she really sells, okay? I think that's her essential oils person. And I think that's what I don't know, because I haven't done any research, so don't sue me, because I don't know if what I'm saying is even right But I think that she just sells kind of like generic essence or some brand of essential oils It's not like she makes the essential oils. She just gets them from some MLM or something The problem is that she has no focus. I'm on her site right now. So like

Like her lack of focus is actually her brand. This is what it says, not for lazy moms. We want it all, we do it all. So she wants to do everything. She literally wants to do everything. So give away, there's a mom things, three month subscription box, and then lifestyle tips. Hey, there's a new book, potty training, mommy, and daddy,

and then natural living, how to make homemade baby food. So what is this? What is she doing? Is it about baby food? Is it about essential oils, about potty training? It's like she just decided she wants to do it to just like explode into it. Like maybe she's trying to be like goop or something,

but she hasn't actually- She's poop. Yeah, she hasn't tried to be poop. Because mommy and daddy potty training. Also, I don't need something called potty training mommy and daddy.ty training also. I don't need something called potty training mommy and daddy. You know what I mean? Like I have I shouldn't have to deal with that until I'm way older And then they have a thing down here maintaining mommy With babies just all over the place and their shop. Okay, so I'm on their shop and so they have a bundle They've got like a tote bag a mug and they're you can get like a tank top

It's most of it is just like have a bundle that got like a tote bag, a mug, and you can get like a tank top. It's, most of it is just like merchandise that says not for lazy moms, which is like, so are you like a super fan of the website? So you're like, I need to get the mug that says not for lazy moms. It's like it doesn't offer, like the only product is the book, okay?

And so like, she's spending all this money. She doesn't have oil's on here. She has something called Mela, wait, where is it? The minute you disappeared. She has pens. Mela Eva essentials, but it's coming soon. How is she going to recoup all this money

when the only thing she sells on her website are tank tops with her logos? Like she's not offering any services beyond a potty training book, which I imagine is like faces very stiff competition from, you know, Amazon. I got literally don't understand this. I don't know, but it's a lot of money, okay.

They cost a lot of money to do this, just much in that thing. So she's like, well, you know, Christmas about the money. I mean, look, you know, Chris knows about the money. I mean, look, if I'm not expecting to make money, but if I can just break even, I'll be fine with that. And this podcast, Karen's gonna be there and Ray's gonna make an appearance

because I need his perspective. I mean, they've been married a hundred years. And when you get intimate, what even happens? And then with Candice and Chris, I mean, you've been married a year and haven't even had a honeymoon. What's that? My God, you're an asshole.

That is, yeah, it's like something. They are barely affording the butter knives that are being taken out of her hands, okay? Like they are so beyond living beyond their means. Like, let them not have their honeymoon. Let them have that, okay? They are barely saying, saying a flute. I'm not like Monique and I've been on her side pretty much this whole season, but you don't invite people on your show

and then be like, oh, how do you even have sex? You're so old and then you too, what do you know about Honey Moons? Yeah, and then get mad later on when she wants to back out. Yeah, you know, it's like, I don't know. So Monique is- Monique is- Monique, it's a lot of winning episode for Monique for sure.

It's definitely not. I mean, I don't know, it's just's not a winning episode for Monique for sure. It's definitely not. I mean, I don't know. It's just have to chala on. Like, literally, everyone cares about Tachala. That's all anyone cares about is Tachala. Oh, and the results from our quiz came out or poll came out from Instagram where we asked people what they cared more about to chala making a nest or Nini leaving real housewives

and Tachala won by nearly 6,000 votes. So. There we go. So then we go over to Giselle and some Giselle fashion. She's wearing like a leather. Like one of those leather suede shirts with poof sleeves and then yeah, glasses like she's gonna be. She's, she looked like she's about to go take AP Chem again.

Like she was about to like mix some solutions or do some titration. What was going on with those glasses? She's like, I'm here to make a volcano out of baking so good. Seriously, I'm here to find out about density. Yeah, or weld something or some shit. So she comes in or like those car commercials where they're like, keep it in America with Ford. And then everybody is wearing those clothes. So, yeah. Yes, she is a union worker who is standing for America. So, Jacelle is, she's like looking around

this furniture shop and everything that she likes is awful. Right, like she's all idiots. Like, I just like, wow. I love this ring light. And they're like, oh, it's from Paris. And she's, oh, she's all idiots. She's like, wow. I love this ring light. And they're like, oh, it's from Paris. And she's, oh, gay, pariah. Oh, look at this side.

It's a clock, but it's also mirror. And it's huge. I love this. I have a great decor style. Get with it. Have you ever thought about putting fuchsia with white, with silver, and doing it everywhere in everyone's faces? Yes, I just love style.

Oh, I like when she described her style, I was cracking up. She's like, my style is perfect. I like white and clean and modern. I was like, mm-hmm, really? I haven't really seen that in your house, but okay, I'll go with you on this. So she's getting ready to break ground

on the West Wing. Ah! Yeah. And so she's furniture shopping and stuff. So Robin comes along and she's like, you know, she's like, oh, congratulations on winning your literary award! So, she's like, congrats, yeah, I'm a literary winner, Ra. Sometimes my kids, my echino was for dinner,

but I have taught them the hard work pays off, da! So they talk about Robin looking for a new house and they look at some of the furniture and then they just all want to see huge tacky as hell. Oh my gosh, candlestick things. It's a prison of $2,500. Yeah, the strain, they were watching and Dom goes, those look like super bull trophies.

She's like, yes, this is for New England, Patriots, Tb12. It is refreshing on a housewives show to see somebody sing $2,500. Fuck you. I'm not paying $2,500 for anything. Yeah. Oh, this is like a random offshoot, but we should mention that Bravo just announced

that there's going to be a show with Kate Chesting, Hannah Burner, Giselle Bryant, and Portia Williams. It's gonna be on after Watch Happens Live, and I'm not doing this to be like a promo, but I'm like, finally, this sounds like a great idea. These are four women. I would love to hear their perspectives on whatever it is. So I just have to say, since we do know, we know Kate and Hannah, they both come to crap and giving in fact, just a little, uh, Hazard, congratulations.

Yeah, yeah, that's gonna be great. Yeah, I'm really excited about that. So Robyn's like, Robyn basically tells her what happened over the fire pit. So Robyn's like, that's, uh, Robyn basically tells her what happened over the fire pit. Right. Um, just else like, well, you know, I'm sorry, but telling Monika, or telling Ashley about her cheating husband is a little more important than roasting marshmallows. Yeah, exactly. So then they start talking about this all this Michael gossip and Robyn's like, yeah, well I was, I was talking with Shreece and I was like, let me find the article for you and

I found the article and then I texted it and then I looked and I texted it to Ashley instead by accident, which is so Robin and they just both crack up, which is what I love. I actually have to say, we sort of like shit on Robin because she does the same, it's like there's nothing going on in her life, but I do think that her relationship with Jizelle is like really endearing. Just watching the crack up. And they're not in pure evil mode, they're fine. You know, they go a little too far from me, but yeah, right, this is the part I like about. You know, where they're just racking on everybody

and cracking up. Yeah, just like cracking up at themselves. Just like Robin, no. No, I saved it because then I said, what do you want us to do? Oh. And she's like Robin, no! Yeah. No, I saved it because then I said, what do you want us to do? Oh! And she's like, wow, look at you, fixing a bad situation.

And she's like, you know, I do feel bad for Ashley. And this is where she says, if I got 40 DMs, she got 140, yeah. And she's like, good for us for talking to her because she would have been totally blindsided. Yeah, you're a really good person. You're such a good person. You're a regular hero to Zell.

Yeah, exactly. So then, just to all announce is that she's going to have something out of winery because she wants to basically celebrate herself and her award. So she's like, you know, when you go to a winery, are you going to act like the fool? I mean, that will never happen. I'm like, okay, watch all the other real housewives. And specifically, watch the real housewives of DC where they went to a winery and it got so bad

that there were helicopters overhead sent by the owners, mother-in-law. Oh my god, mother. I'm so true. Remember that? And then remember the winery, remember on DC, they, the grapes were like from the supermarket They were stomping on supermarket grapes

Oh, they're fake winery, but also she's like no one would act like a fool in a winery. Uh, it's a barn Do you're taking them to a barn? I mean everyone acts like a damn fool in a barn I mean maybe just cuz I'm from Texas, but if ever there's a party in a barn I know what scooters gonna go badly. Have you ever seen sideways? Have you ever seen sideways? So the next step next up we're going to Karate Karate with Anyan Wendy and their kid Cruz who's probably the cutest thing on this so my god what a cutie Yeah, they're taking him to his first body lesson and And Cruz is like, or as Cruz calls it, power range or training.

So he, Cruz is learning. And Wendy and Eddie are just like talking about career stuff. And Wendy's saying how she's like wrapping up her maternity leave from Johns Hopkins. And it's like sort of debating her next step that she still want to teach. You know, she's really enjoyed being a political commentator. And I imagine being on the real housewives is maybe not. I'm sure people at Johns Hopkins are not loving that right now. So.

Yeah, so she's ready to make the jump and quit her job. But she's worried about her Nigerian mom being really upset because her whole dream was for her to become a lawyer or a doctor. And she did it. And so now she doesn't want her mom to, you know, get mad at her or whatever. Yeah, so normal scene. Yeah, normal scene. But I really like Wendy and Eddie so much. I just, I think they're great. Yeah, and that cruise, oh my god, just punching and learning to punch and then just turning around and smiling and I'm like, wow.

And the karate teachers like tapping on the shoulder when he's like, I swear to god, if that man touches my child, one more time I'm coming right over this rail. So then we go to Candace and Chris who are taking a walk, they're walking a store. And Chris is like, wow, it's 90 degrees in the fall. Well, look over there, that's something I haven't seen in a long time, which I don't know what he was talking about. He said, look over there, it's a daddy long legs on the mailbox. Probably like a full-on tarantula, but to him it's like the size of a daddy long legs.

Look at that tiny, tiny spider. I'm saying, it's the size of my head, though. Yeah. That's a dog. Look at that tiny tiny spider Besides of my head That's a dog Look at that look at that daddy log legs with its spindly arms. That's Karen Hugo coming over to say hi So Monique is like well, you know about this not for lazy mom's thing, you know just need to be hit. And then we have this live show coming and I've only sold 20 tickets and he's like, that's it. Well, maybe you should cut back on some stuff that you would normally put into a party and save some money. She's like, excuse me.

Yeah, I'm wondering like, is she planning to do a whole thing around this podcast, you know? It reminded me actually, everything that Monique was doing reminded me 100% of our very first big LA show where we went, we bought a step-and-repeat for it, and we did buy merch on SPAC. We booked, we have to book a million guests, and so we literally had like, we sat on the door and Jeff Lewis and Jenny Poulos,

and there's other gauge. And we went nuts and watching Monique doing this reminded me so much of those days. But you know. Yeah, but our version is so, I mean, of course, we don't have millions of dollars to spend, but remember our parties, I mean, our parties are still like this.

We're like, does anybody know anybody with a bar? Yeah. And then they could be, it could be like an Irish pub somewhere where they're watching a football game. We're like, great. It's a watch or crap and party now. I know, but for the, exactly, but for that first one, we also built in a scavenger hunt. We literally organized a scavenger hunt. We're like, well, people are, if people that come to our show, they're going to want an entire experience. And we were like, there was a scavenger hunt. There was an after party the next day like we went 110 degrees in Los Angeles

that day. So nuts we had no idea what we were doing. I mean the fact that we had the Steppen repeat is hilarious but we we branded the Steppen repeat or we did it. We made it so that way we couldn't use the Steppen repeat over and over again so it was like a one-use Steppen repeat and then we had to throw it out. Yeah, is it a stupid network we were with? They're like we're going to get a Steppen repeat and then they put their logo all over it. Yeah. Oh God. Okay, so yeah, so she's talking about how she's spending all this money and he's suggesting that maybe she shouldn't be. And she's like, well, I mean, look, I've spent 200 grand.

And he's like, just like, he spent like $200. Yeah, that's like a lot of money, honey. And she's like, you know what? I realize there's some investment and I'm okay with the investment And I really need your support right now. He's like well. I was trying but you just go on and on and on How about next time you support me next time I see a daddy long legs How about you support me next time I want to help sex with you? Why don't you ever call me daddy long legs?

so sex with you. Why don't you ever call me daddy long legs. So, um, the baby, so she starts talking about the guests and stuff and she's like, well, Karen will be there, but I guess Candace has an attitude with me. And she's like, well, I thought you worked everything out. Remember how you pretended to be asleep and she said goodbye? This is the most mature thing you've ever done. Yeah, Monique, how about like next time if you have a guest for your podcast, you don't like come at them because they didn't roast marshmallows with you. Okay, that's not how you, like, come at them after the podcast, but don't do beforehand, right? So she's like, well, selfish people don't think about the other side, okay? Because I had to make new flyers, okay?

I had to call up a graphic designer and take her face off the flyer, and then I had to print them all out, and I had to print out flyers, okay, I had to copy graphic designer and take her face off the flyer, and then I had to print them all out and I had to print out all those flyers. I'm like, what are you doing printing out flyers for a live podcast? What does, do you realize that a podcast takes place like over the internet? Why are you not, why are you not doing internet advertising?

What is wrong with you? Oh, Monique. So, yeah, she goes over all that stuff and she's like, well, it's okay okay because the topic is about when the honeymoon is over and she hasn't even been on the honeymoon. He's like, that's Sadie. She's, well, it's true. Yeah. And, uh, and ultimately, Chris, though, is like, well, I hope you two get it together because I like Candace and Chris. So she's like, I'm not gonna take your side on this one. I like Chris. He's my buddy. So get it together and stop spending $200,000 of my money. That's a lot of tank tops to sell. That's a lot. Yeah. And then Robin goes over to visit her parents because poor Robin's like, like Robin, what are

you doing today? Let's just do the same scene you've done for five years. I know. Oh, I'm thinking maybe I should get married again. I never parents are just sitting there, and they're just like, we were just about to watch Wheel of Fortune. Can you just make this? Can you wrap this up real quickly? They're like enough.

We don't have enough money to buy you wedding presents, OK? We're going to have with this. But can you just, OK, so here's the thing. If you're going back together with Juan, just tell him that he has to come with you to more events and get a better tattoo and we're not gonna give you a present, so that's it. Yeah, and I get out, we're sick of the storyline.

What are your parents and we're sick of the storyline? I'm kidding. Exactly. So then it actually goes shopping at a store called Gossip, which is kind of hilarious. That is hilarious. And she's with Sheila and her sister Jessica and baby Jane, baby Deans going out on about. Baby Deans walking there being like big mistake.

Huge. Huge. Do you have anything that I could use as a picnic table where I just lift up a flap and lunches right there? Wann, wain, wain, wain, wain. They bring them a fish or price ring, bring box, close it on its finger. He just starts to cry. So they're getting just a dress for her homecoming and she's like, I wanted to be sure. She's kind of like a little Robin. She's like, I just want a short dress. Like, no, you're going to get something long.

I'm very wholesome, I'm married to Michael. Now go over there and try on your wholesome dress as well, we talk about three sims. Yeah, Ash is like, so Jessica is basically 14, but I can still relate to her, which I think still means I'm cool. Anyway, Jessica, here's a whole bunch of dresses for Shannon Bedore types. So enjoy that. I'm still cool, right? Yeah.

Every dress was like sequined and lacy in a way, that was. It was like, everything was like extremely matronly. Yeah, it really was. It was very dullards in there. So then, Jess, let's see. So they sent her over to look at stuff. And then the Sheila's super mad at Michael, because she's been reading all these blogs. And Ash, she's like, well, you know, mom, he's never gonna do it again. He really understands that this is the last time.

Yeah, and she was like, but he has everything. He has a beautiful wife, beautiful son. He has everything he could possibly ask for, and has she's like, yeah, well, this is one, two, three strikes and one, one, two, three strikes and one. He knows that this is it. I'm like, you know how baseball works?

You know the third strike is actually, that's when you're out. Like, there is no fourth strike, okay? There's no balls here. Yeah, you're like on the fifth game of the season with the strikes. I know, this is not I know this is not like this is not like

I forget what's called like that where you put the whistleball on the thing and you Swat at it like Marty's on and got like to be born to we went to baseball and I was like I wonder if I have any more vape fluid up here Look at those carboards cutouts in the audience. Oh god. It's just like David just sitting there and not speaking Oh, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that felt bad that I left witness protection early, which is Bunik's house. So I wanted to have something to apologize for that and also to celebrate me in my award. I am the worst star. So the girl start to arrive and Karen just comes in and her big, you know, whatever scarf

she can with brands all over it. It's like fend it. Yeah, she's like a rich lady as a race car. She has to have brands all over her at all times. Brum brum. And she walks up here, oh the barn, yes, the barn. Now lovely, a barn.

And so they make a toast to her awards or her award or whatever. And just else like, you know, if I hadn't won, I'd be so embarrassed. Which I think you know if they fly you out there, you're gonna win, right? Probably. She's like, you know, the only celebrity there are so. So Monique is like, well, you know, she is doing well with a book that she wrote about her cheating ex-husband who she is now dating. Is that gonna be part two? And can I sell it on my website?

God, I am in so much debt, so much. So then Candace and Wendy arrived, they're the hat crew. They both got, they both look like they're gonna go hunting for something. Yeah, my spigots. And Candace is like, Candace just ignores Monores Monique and it's like you're not a friend I'm here for my other friends. There's nothing I need to say to Monique Yeah, and she also enters in singing of course is like

Okay, are we gonna remix that I think this really calls for remix of Ola the Ola song? Can get Chuck in the phone? Okay, let's do a Ola, but let's do it with like a go-go beat Ola and that's a rap great great Sash Okay, let's do a Ola, but let's do it with like a go-go beat Ola and that's a rap great great sash So the waiter comes over and serve some wine to them and Ashley comes in and her pilgrim outfit She's like hello, friends. Yeah, and Karen is enjoying You know her wine. This is very good. What's this orange wine? Oh? Okay, very good. Do you have any sort of white wine to match my countertops? No, okay?

Well, I appreciate you coming here to celebrate me a literary award-that Winners, what I would like to be called literary award-that-a winner Juzel's hosting skills suck. We're just standing around in a circle doing absolutely nothing I mean, I mean there's not even a lazy display. Oh, thanks machine we can play with. What sort of party is this? I wish you would have just skyped me. I could have saved the gas. Oh my god. Karen operating Skype is like, gives me stress. Okay, Ray. Ray, now it says, user-named. Do we know what that is? Is it on the back of the router, Ray?

So let's see Ashley's like, well, I'm just feeling a little off-center and it's really hard to conceive when you're breastfeeding, but I guess I can have one glass. And they're like breastfeeding. Oh, what are you talking about? You're gonna have another baby, Ashley. She's actually pregnant again. Right? She's pregnant again. Right? But isn't she? She was pregnant at this point. She thinks she might be. Yes, but in real life, though, she actually is pregnant again. I can an current life, I should say. Yeah. She is pregnant again now. Yeah, which is exciting for someone. Yeah. So Robyn's like once again, politician Ashley walks in in like all's good in the hood And I guess we're just supposed to move on and just out doesn't

Well all must be good in the Michael world if we might be pregnant. Yeah, and she's like All right here you here you here's the story Um as Michael told me there is true to what what said but yeah um That's concludes this thank you Let's go back. Let's go back and then they all start talking over each other like Karen wanted to her press conference to be just kind of it's kind of a fun like circle background. So they're like, me, me, and when he just keeps going, wait, wait, pick me, pick me, please pick me, please pick me. Yeah, so one, one of the time mom, one of the time mom, so now she starts, starts telling what Michael said about like, so you You went to the strip club and then then he met some girls there and then they went to the MGM and then they're at the MGM I want them said you want to have some fun in the hotel and he took that bait?

Which I was like don't say he took the bait. He's not an innocent bystander here like he was just some like he's like William heard and and and like he was seduced into Catherine what's her face his arms like no, that's not what happened Yeah, and I like Monique was like so these girls were strippers. I was like, yes He took the bait He took the stripper bait and then he fell asleep because you know, that's what he does and then she snapped a photo I'm gonna be like oh, so that really was him. I mean look. I'm a bald guy And I know we all look kind of the same, but that was definitely Michael. Yeah, like that was there's no

That was definitely Michael. Yeah, so Karen is like well Ashley is a tough cookie But none of us are believing that she's not hurt. I've had to put on my big go riches soon I've had to put on the tough face too So girl I got to on this one Also, I wonder if she's got her because of the old blue eyes Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, exactly. At this point, I'm 45 years old now, and at this point, I just wonder, is everybody just in these open relationships and nobody talks about them?

I think so. I think seem to be, where am I just watching too much, Bravo? Because at this point, I'm just thinking everybody just fucks everybody all the time. Well, I mean, Luanne was in one for a long time. A lot of people are, you know? The Denise stuff from this year. This stuff, the Karen stuff. Yeah, probably how it should be. Keep you sane. Nini, even Nini had this sound like Nini was in one a little bit. I don't know. I don't really keep up. But remember, it wasn't that like the rumor or something? Oh, who knows?

Yes. Yeah. Oh, rumor. By the way, Kathleen Turner is who I was trying to reference before if anyone is hitting their steering wheels, like, Ben, it was Kathleen Turner, it was Kathleen Turner. And we moved on. Because I said William Hurt and I said, Catherine, I said, William Hurt being seduced by Catherine, but I was actually meant to say Kathleen Turner. It was a reference to body heat.

It was a very specific 40 year old. I couldn't watch that movie. I was loud. Oh, I watched it on, I watched it in a terrible way. I watched it on like channel 11 on like an old black and white TV with static, like with rabbit ears. So like my memories of it are just like static and like Kathleen Turner being like, why don't you come over?

So. So, um, Monique's like, well, I'm confused. So he went to the hotel, but he didn't have sex, and she goes, right. And Robin's like, can you believe him? I'm you believe him. Yeah, Robin's like, I want to see that. I want to see the sex tape. Um, so Monique is like, so you don't think like he's giving you enough truth right now where you won't run out the... Don't you think... Sorry, Monique is basically like... Don't you think that like maybe he's giving you just enough truth so that way you don't run out the door?

Like maybe he's still lying and Ash is like... No, this seems like it's the truth, it's the truth! I'm like... I think Monique has a pretty good read on this situation. Yeah, because Monique's like, well all this stuff was in the blogs before he told you, which means that he told you because of stuff was in the blogs, you know? Yeah.

And his story is also suspicious as fuck. He fell asleep and woke up and she was next to him in the hotel. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And Wendy's like, have you seen Michael? Who's covelling with that? Yeah.

Exactly. So then Ash is like, well, there are a lot of things. I mean, my marriage has had its own identity. And Michael and I have been in situations where there have been other people before. For example, we were hanging out at the David Guetta concert. Like, no, this story does not have to go any further.

Why were you at a David Guetta concert? Why was Michael at a David Guetta concert? What is he doing there? What are both of you doing there, but what specifically is he doing there? No need to continue this story. That is grounds for divorce. Go on.

I love David Guadalaj. You don't like him? Are you thinking of the American idol guy? No, that would be hilarious, though. David Archaleta? I love it first. Yes, that's when they said that. Little of that one.

Are they doing it, David Archaleta? That is disgusting. Like maybe all this cute stuff. Like what is it? What is happening here? And then I're like, what are they doing at David Archelletta? That is disgusting. Like maybe all this cue stuff. Like, what is it? What is happening here? See, and then I was like, oh no, I have David Greta. No, I mean, I like his songs, but I think like as a whole, I just feel like I would never really

go to a David Greta concert. First of all, his songs are the same. And so I was like, do do do do do do do do do do do do do. And so I was like, you may think that you love someone, but you don't know the truth. The truth! was like, tt tt tt tt tt thing. I went to see a DJ and a club in Hollywood. It was a DJ who I really liked. And I went and I was like all like 22 year olds

who had like, maybe not maybe 21 year olds who had all had their first drink for the first time and they were all like rolling on Molly. And they were all like, there was no like appreciation for spatial awareness. Everyone was just bumping in and to explain their drinks like, oh, wow, that song, you know, like, you're spending their drinks like, ah, I'm out of song. You know, like feathers in the hair,

weird like eye makeup, it's just like an awful experience. And that's what I imagine a David Greta concert would be. So even if I do like the music, there's no way in hell I'm going to his concert. Unless I'm sitting, I can't wait to tell them. One thing for me to tell them.

How dare you. I thought you guys say, we're not too excited saying I was going to I was like, I can I can keep that inside but yeah, of course this whole time that's been going in my head as you as you rail against David Guetta I just don't think David Guetta concerts I am so tired Or bulletproof I love that song I mean come on come on does the Nicki Minaj one right?

Who sings bullet proof? It's on my workout album and so I haven't heard it long time Shade has a bull no shade is bullet proof soul Dimitri proof bullet proof. I think I have it No, that's who proof is LaRue. That's that's that's you know every few years there's like a LaRue that comes around. You know there was like the Tang Tains and the LaRue. If nothing to lose Far away far away. That's titanium See ya. Yeah I call it bullet proof in my head because she says bullet proof one time so anyway the point is The David Gweta gets some horny apparently so they were at this David Gweta concert and actually got horny from some girl and

Monique's like so it was a threesome I'm like yeah, and everyone's like wow Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa influencers. Come on, buddy. This is like the best story you've ever heard. Okay, keep it straight. Literally keep it straight. So Karen's like, well, I appreciate Asher talking to us about it, but we already filled in that blank. Okay, I know I had and I'm okay with it. Okay, there's Swingers. That's all. There's Swingers. So are you in a monogamous place right now? Mm-hmm and as she's like yes, I don't want anything with anything else and when he's like so if this happens again Where are you check we are done that is strike nine if we happen again. We're moving on the football It's six down and strike number 14, okay? So basically they're pretty

cool about it. You know, it's like, well, it's your marriage. I mean, you know, you do you. And she's like, you know, and I'd like to say that I know that I've had my own opinions about your all's relationships in this group. And I haven't always been very supportive. And you don't have to be supportive with me but you are being supportive and that really shows you're a group of mature women and I really appreciate it. Thank you for coming to see the Mayflower doc and now we are going to find our ceremonial bird, the turkey. The fact that she dresses like a Puritan to come in to talk about her three so

no it's just so rich I love this show. Well I guess we should address this turkey um the turkey went to a strip club and found a bunch of pilgrims and the pilgrims were like we come back to the hotel and then they killed the turkey and the turkey did take the bait so that's that's striking for the turkey. I'm letting it just like yeah you know what know what? Look, marriage is hard. I sleep under a brick house every night. Okay. I get it. It's not easy. And just I was like, well, thanks for coming. Everybody. Thanks for coming. And Candace is, you know, we're in that.

Yes, we're in that space where they know they're supposed to be a fight, but it's been derailed. So they're like, okay, let's just start a fight now. Well, because basically Ashi was like, listen, I know I've had a lot of, like, as you said, like I know I've had a lot of opinions about you guys. So I want to say thank you for being supportive and whatever, being mature, were mature ladies and Ken is, because I love you guys, because they're like complimenting each other for being mature ladies.

So she's, Candace is drunk. She says, I love you guys. They're like, oh, Candace, like once you get some wine and Candace, she becomes nice. Like, I'm always nice. I'm always nice. And Monique goes after some wine. And so then that's when Ashley is like, oh, well, so that's a good question. So are you guys good? What's going on?

Are you guys good right now? And they're like, Monique's like, well, we are where we are. Where we are. And where we are is that cancellations happen and you live with cancellations. Which kind of comes out of nowhere, because Monique, that's why I said, it's like, okay, let's start a fight now,

because Monique didn't even say anything about a cancellation. It's time to find about the cancellation. So then Candie's like, well, I'm meeting her where she is and where she is is back there. Yeah, and so she's like, well, what's the issue? Why? And Candice says, no, listen, I love Monique. Even when Monique pretends to be asleep,

when I'm about to leave. And by the way, at this point, somehow Candice has found a knife and a much sharper knife than the butter knife, and she's waving it around. It's like a steak knife now. Yeah. I'm like, how did you find a knife and a much sharper knife than the butter knife and she's waving it around. It's like a steak knife now. Yeah. I'm like, how did you find a knife? And why are you, why do you, are you always holding it?

By the end of the season, she's going to come out with a bacon knife. It's just going to be like bigger and bigger and bigger. I know. So Monique, I don't, Monique, I don't think knows what she's talking about at first because she's like, what do you mean I was, I was pretending to be asleep. I'm awake. I'm always awake. I'm woke. I'm woke, I'm always woke. And so I can't just just like, but you were asleep.

And she's like, you were asleep or you were pretending to be asleep. So now they're like having some miscommunication about the sleep thing. And then they kind of like, what are you even talking about? Do you understand what I went through? Oh, you don't have kids. So you don't get it. She's like, oh, so now we're mom shaming. We're mom shaming. We're mom shaming

Like how can I mom shame you you don't even have kids? You don't just mom shame someone without kids Yeah, what I'm saying is you don't know what it's like running around for kids all day and trying to get the house ready And I was tired. I wanted to go to sleep and she's like what I know is you're a mom Shimmer. Yeah, she's like that was my perception. She's like, what I know is you're a mom's shameer. Yeah, she's like, that was my perception. She's like, I was tired. That was my perception. And Wendy is now trying to take the wine out of Candice's hand. And he's like, no, no. She's like, why would you shame me?

Why would you shame me? And Monique's like, well, why would I pretend? Why would I pretend? Like, pretend because you can't stand her. And so you didn't want to say goodbye to her. So it's pretty clear why you pretend, Monique. Yeah, so they're just kind of yelling over each other. Like not another one of them is listening.

They're just both yelling and then while they're doing it, Wendy takes the wine and then they're trying to take the knife out of Candace's hand because of course, she's waving it all over, you know? Yeah. Like please put down the knife. Please put down the knife. And so there's like, they're talking about, again,

the sleep thing and jiles like well I thought you had a I thought you guys had a had like a friendship what's going on and Monique say well it was a facade it was a facade and can't start seeing things about like well I was putting it was me putting everything into it and nothing being returned ever ever and this is our time to start doing the twirl she starts twirling around in circles going I'm bored. I'm bored with sleep sleep twirling and then Monique's like oh shut up. She a pet with your twirling and Now there's something about like

The reason yeah, because there's this somehow Monique does like a side thing where she says that like She's just start saying that this is all basically.'s about sherees why she's so angry that's what the deeper issue is and so now Jizelle just else basically like well if they wouldn't be coming for each other if it weren't for Sherees right and the trainer so you trying to cause problems with it Jizelle. So now Candice is saying good night good night good night, good night, and her hands are like, in Monique's face. She's like, good night, good night, good night. And you know, they have the face. Yeah, she's like doing the finger in the face.

And Monique's like, get your hand out of my face. Get your hand out of, oh, do you like this? Do you like this? So she starts flipping Candace's hair and not stopping. Like, it wasn't just a one flip. It was like, let's just start flipping your hair, you know? And then she just pulls her hair and grabs her and then it's back to the beta max You see Karen's were like trotting over like no

As I quick cuts, but we don't really know what's happening on what's what's going on? Well at least something's finally happening at this party The bond I Well at least something's finally happening at this party. Mmm, mmm, mmm, the bond. I really needed the close-up of the cauliflower on the floor. I mean, they've been promising that all season long. I know. I needed, and you know what actually bothered me, it was that like, this was all happening, and like, you knew that we weren't going to get the real fight,

but we're going to get flashes, and then they made the screen small to sort of like, queue up, watch happens live, like you see Andy preparing his notes and everything and people getting ready. And I was like, I understand that you're trying to promote watch happens live, but I need to see these like morsels of this fight in like the full screen, like I can't have my screen reduced.

There's already credits rolling, the credits are getting in the way, like I need to see, I need to have this like as big as possible for my brain at the moment. Yeah, this is evidence, okay? Yeah, but I'm sure we'll only see it 20 more times this season. So don't worry about it. We'll get the whole thing next week, hopefully, hopefully.

Yeah. So we will be back next week with some more of this, funness, and finally, we get to this fight, which actually, I'm kind of impressed that it's taking place in episode eight, or at least it starts in episode eight, and they didn't make us wait till episode 16 or whatever. Yeah, my prediction is that we'll see the fight next week.

There'll be lots of discussion and then I think we'll, I feel like we'll get the mid season trailer after next week's episode because this is I think I'd be like the big turning point in the season. much as when Tinsley left New York or on Beverly Hills when Denise stormed out of Kyle's barbecue. I think this is going to be our big turning point and I think that the trailer is coming soon. Well, we will see next week, everybody. Thank you so much for being here. Go check us out. The rest of the week we'll be back every day. We'll be covering some new Netflix material. We've got octopus movie coming up. My

octopus. Just search octopus. You'll find I think it's called my octopus teacher, right? It is. Yeah. My Irish was teacher. And then selling sunset for the next couple weeks. Below deck. Med tomorrow. Below deck. Med. Yeah. We've got a lot of fun stuff. So stick around. and if you want to watch our videos go to Crappens on demand on plot 3 on and sign up to watch those everybody and the homemade I just had Friday home edit we're doing a season one episode one of the home edit for this Thursday Yeah, so we'll be we'll talk to you tomorrow actually with below dick Watch what crappens would like to think it's premium sponsors.

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