Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Bride Snores

Episode Date: May 14, 2019

Candiace gets hitched on this week's Real Housewives of Potomac while Gizelle gets ghosted and Ashley gets wasted. Will Karen keep her wig on? To hear this week's bonus episode covering Project Runway and Texicanas and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Straight to the Rosé" and "Rosé All Day" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Irvine, Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Baltimore and Nashville. Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. The Bay Area Betches! Betches!

Making the Slayer Taylor! Aaron McNickalis! She don't miss no trickle-ists. Hot dang! It's Jessica Dang! Lisa Wallent. Now that's what I call Wallentainment. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender!

Hava Negila Weber! Sarah Greenwood only uses her power for good. Jamie, she has no last name. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobeloni! You don't touch the Nikki Morgan letters! Sip some scotch with Jessica Troch. What you talking about Willis, it's son of gillis. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bird just saying okay crispy wow reading dowry Kelly Barlow when she goes Barlow we go high low here the Homer with Jeffrey Boomer Hannah God I love that banana Anderson and our super premium Patreon subscribers mean a kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi! Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! The incredible edible Matthews sisters. Lulu Simon.

Sue, Sue, Studio. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Kelly Grant, the Grant Master. We love you guys. guys! Hello and welcome to Watch a Crappens, the podcast about all that crap we love to talk about on Yeo Bros. Well, hi everybody, I'm Ronnie, Ronnie Karam. I'm also on the Roseprix Bachelor podcast, which is back in full force.

So go subscribe to that, and here I am with Ben Maddlegur of the Real House Rears of Kitch Nile Land over on YouTube. Go subscribe to that as well, hi Ben. Hey, what's it going on?. Go subscribe to that as well. Hi, Bann. Hey, what's going on? Well, happy Monday, Seca. Happy Monday. While we are like in the post-gamothrones hangover because we just recorded our episode of Winter's Crap

and last night, right after that crazy, crazy episode of Game of Thrones, the second to last one of all time. So if you are a Game of Thrones person, be sure to subscribe and check out our podcasts because we have a lot of fun recording it and talking about it. Yes. And then this week we're at Irvine. We're going to be in Orange County doing the first episode of the season of Southern Charms. So come see that. We are in Irvine this Wednesday. So get your tickets. Come on down. Okay. Then after that, we're going to Milwaukee, Pittsburgh, Minneapolis, Baltimore, Nashville. Couple of those are already sold out. Go to Dang tickets for this. Okay.

Also, you can get merch. We have limited shirts every month. This month is straight to the Rose and Rose all day back to the Suncheon dinner. And we've also got a special winter's crappin' shirt that says, shut up, Bran. Yeah, shut up, Bran. So you can find links to our live shows and our merch. Just go over to watchwhatcrappin's.com. Hey, gosh. Can you believe that Southern Charm is premiering this week?

I feel like actually Bravo has not been pushing it as hard as it has other shows, right? Like, I feel like no one realizes Southern Charm is back on Wednesday. Yeah, because I see the commercial all the time. They're like, I was seven say, bless your heart. Maybe I don't see that commercial. A bless your heart. I stole some other song and then just put

bless your heart over it. Okay. Well, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it may be I don't have my finger on the pulse of marketing after all. I have my finger on the pulse of forgetting to press fast forward. Because I am looking at Instagram instead of fast forwarding at the three times. It does happen. It does happen quite a bit.

I mean, honestly, network should be so happy that there's such a thing as Instagram where you get so absorbed in it that you wind up in a commercial break. So this episode of Real Housewives of Potomac, we finally get through Candy Ashes wedding. Thank you. Jesus, I've needed this wedding to be over, and it is now over. Thank you. Yeah, like really, like standing ovation to the producers who did not tease this out for an entire season. We already had a lot of it last season and it wasn't entertaining then. It was not entertaining now.

So this time they just were like, let's move this forward. We're just going to take care of it. It was done. I was very happy. Oh, and also by the way, I also have to say this is a slight tangent, but because when they talk about this wedding reminded me of Adriana's wedding on real house As a Miami which then reminded me very sad news this weekend our mama Elsa. She passed away So RIP mama Elsa one of our favorites in the history of bravo So all the love to her family, etc. But we love you mom Elsa. We hope you're you're reading fortunes up there in heaven Yeah, we love you girl. Yeah, but back to're reading fortunes up there in heaven. Yeah, we love you, girl. Yeah, but back to this.

I'll tell you what, we don't love is this. It's wedding. But so in anticipation of the wedding, Jacelle has decided that she's gonna do like an exercise class to burn off about 10 calories. So she and her old friend, Cal, go to a place called Soldier Fit, which is like a boot camp by soldiers.

But I think that's kind of like inherent to boot camp, right? Aren't boot camp soldiers anyway? Yeah, it's boot camp. It's a military base exercise club. I think it's propaganda. It's like, isn't the military fun? Because the guy they have is Danny. And he's like, I'm going to pitch you on blast today Ain't I you guys are gonna work like you never work about

Yeah, he was the Mikey of soldiers. Yeah, he was too much. He was way too much, okay He's like look at you cow. Hey cow. You can't come into my place to work in a mask. I like me with those shot muscles My god, it's like Britney from Vanderpump rules. I know, it's like, I don't even believe this guy as a soldier. I feel like he's like the local postman who just is like, I'm gonna come up with a soldier now. It's like nobody there ever bothers to ask because he can't stop telling.

Yeah, exactly. So, it just sounds like, um, well, I'm gonna apologize in advance. I'm already mortified about this bootcamp. So she updates him on the Shermanator. Yeah. And how things have been going well because the Sherman called up Jiselle and was saying how much he missed her and how much he was professing his love to her, etc.

And she said, well this time around we should go to counseling and she was very happy because she's like most black men when you say it's counseling they run for the hills but he was into it and cows like hmmm. She's like, well why are you saying hmmm. And he's like, well, I mean you hated him and you were like, fuck, she's like, well, why are you saying, hmm, and he's like, well, I mean, you hated him and you were like, fuck this guy and now you're excited that he's going to counseling with you. Hmm, yeah.

So like, but anything worth having, got you got a work ethic, Kyle, and he's like, hmm, probably not. Yeah. So she gets it because, you know, he's like the long tortured gay who has to listen. And Jiselle is an extreme girlfriend, you know? Because Jiselle's not like, he hurt my feelings and what do I do?

You're like, you should break up with him girl and then she gets back together with him. That's bad enough and we all go through that. Yeah. We know it's like, I'm going to kill him. I hate him. Let's go toilet paper his house. Let's slash his tires. And then the next second She's in love, you know, she's very extreme. Yeah, and it's always and that next second happens

Always right after you finally say, you know, I wasn't gonna say this because I thought you guys were gonna get back together But I never liked him. I thought he was a jerk and then the next day. Guess what we're back together and now you're the asshole Yeah, and then she tells him Mm-hmm, he said that and then you can never go out to lunch with him again without him just looking you like you're a piece of shit Yeah, exactly and then she goes on TV next season and says you know things with me and Cal are just like not the same And I don't know why I'm like I'll tell you why because you told you told Sherman what Cal said about him Yep, so then we go back to the boot camp section and the teacher is just like hey You want your milk and cookies? You better get down give me 20 So then we go back to the bootcamp section and the teacher is just like, hey, you

want your milk and cookies? You want milk and cookies? You better get down, give me 20. Oh my god, get out of this class. She still just goes, I hate him. And she means it. She doesn't mean it in like a joky way, like, oh, he's breaking work out to our, she's like, no, this guy sucks. I hate him. So then mommy and Candace, getting out of a car, go try on their wedding dress. Yeah, which, you know, she's probably made her mother come to this shop about once a week

for the past three months, just so she could get into that dress and feel like a bride. You know, this is like her version of me going to a board game store and just looking at games, okay? Well, this is her version of just like throwing her mother under the bus as many times as she can on camera. It's a girl, you're going to get the dress

that your mother paid for. Could you have had this discussion of the car? You know, why do you need to make her look like a monster again? I know, exactly. So she's in her dress. I hate the dress, by the way. It's like super wide.

It's like the guy huge like footprint, it's gigantic. But really the issue is more that she's got these really random sort of straps that make it look like they are like holding up this giant mass of a dress. So it looks like she has like a bucket of dress around her or barrel that's being held up by these straps. I just didn't work for me. And she's got like, it's like a wonky boob dress. I'm not sure if it's how it's cut or what,

but one boob's like way lower than the other boob, just in the cut. It's a weird dress. And then she's got all of that netting wrapped around her. I'm like, how many mosquitoes are there in Potomac? Like you're sleeping in a canopy of mosquito netting. Yeah, it like almost looked like an upside down dandelion that gone to seed. It was just like too much.

So she's that kind of girl who just cries at everything. Yes. You know, normally you wait for the mom to cry when you put on your dress. Your friends cry and they go, oh my god, it's finally here. You're actually a bride. But the mom doesn't. She just gets her shady looks. One can't just cry at herself with the mirror. Yeah, I mean, can just finds everything to cry at this episode it's just it's absolutely ridiculous we gave her a lot of shit last week for crying

at everything but we had no idea like how many things she could possibly cry at in one episode until this episode came around yes so she comes out crying and her dress crying at herself and I'm like I can't I can't I'm gonna need a tissue so she's like having you know the whole staff fold tissues into this little those little squares she likes yeah her mom's like you want it that long you like it like that you like this you like these straps these cheap looking straps with the bedazzling it's's not even real jewels. They like that. Okay. You wanted that long. Are you sure?

So you want these? Now what's the theory behind these straps that you love so much? Okay. Okay. And Candace is one of those people to bring Jesus into her problems. You know, Jesus has enough going on. He doesn't need to be bothered every five minutes by you. You know, because my meanwhile taught me that when you mentioned Jesus, he listens, you know? And she mentions him every five seconds and it's inappropriate times. Like Jesus has a job. Okay? Well, she's like, I love my gown. Crystal love my gown. Jesus loves it. And that's all that matters. And Jesus has to take time out of his busy schedule to come look at your dress. You know? And by the way, Jesus does not love the gown. Okay.

Stop putting words in Jesus' mouth. Yeah, I guarantee if Jesus actually took the time to look at the gown, he would have been like no girl. No, okay. Those straps are Jesus' tests. Those straps. I believe in getting married in basic sheets. He would have. Someone put those straps on that dress and be like, okay, this is going to see if Jesus checks out this dress because if he does,

he's going to hate those straps. It's obvious. I mean, who would like the straps? So the fact that the strap's still made it on there means that Jesus was like, I'm not going to bother right now. I've got other things to deal with. Yeah, Jesus would be like, hey, pretty dressed for $10,000.

How about we take that money and feed support people? Jesus probably just sent like a, like it did like a, oh yeah, no, it's great. It's great because he's looking at his Instagram during the commercial break. So Candice is like, well, mother, I did want to address all the just spat. And her mom's like, honey, I love you, I care about you.

But why would you put your father in my goddamn mind that it's in front? Yeah. Thanks. I'm sure the wedding store people are really grateful for this. Yeah, the woman working there's just smiling all happy Just excited. There's this anyone in the shop So can't she's you know, she's like Jorath who's like, well, what you know These are the sins of your father why would you do this and can't this is like I was thinking of your feelings and Jorath

Because hmm No, no you weren't you weren't thinking my feelings I had gone over that 28 years ago why would you bring that back up on your wedding day and can't just like are you over it I don't think you're over it and her mom's like look I know you still have daddy issues but what happened happened you're the narcissist you're the brat and you're the tita that's you and I was like oh my god is she helping Chris write his vows that's actually beautiful it's actually improvement on what we do later get by By the way, Dorothy, don't forget that you raised that narcissist brat

princess diva. So, you know, let's not forget that. Well, you know, I just say that there's room to blame the mother. Why not? It's a real house I've show. Blame your mother. When in doubt, blame the mother blame the mother listen works for me Dark has to take some responsibility for this, you know I'm still laughing about the joke you made about the dragon last night in your mom That's so true. Oh, it's true cuz it's fun cuz it's true guys So the day of the wedding I was like thank you Jesus because look I just did it Jesus is like seriously, how many times are you gonna say my name at this recap? I'm busy.

He's like, I'm busy. Melissa Gorka has called me 10 times today. So thank, you know, Heavens, that they're making this go faster. So yeah, so we see, it's like a few hours until the wedding. Chris and all his bros are taking photos. None of them are wearing socks, and it really bothers me.

Yeah, they have like sockless velvet loafers, which is weird. And also when you're trying to save money, usually not a great idea to have a wedding party of 50 or whatever that was. Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, don't do that. A bus boy staff of your barbecue restaurant.

Who are all those? I feel like it was like the ensemble of like Starlight Express or something. But you know, my feeling is that like if you're gonna have a casual moment, you want to do that thing like a super formal wedding, but you want to have a fun little casual wink. I don't know if Sockless is how you do that wink. It's like I just don't love that. Maybe do the sneaker thing, which I think is already like a little played out, but Sockless, I don't know, I hate it. I hate it.

That's a lot of stinky feet. Yeah, lighter. Yeah. A lot of exposed ankles that I'm not sure I'm ready for. So let's see, what's up? Candice gets her bouquet, she's like, Oh my God, it's a bribe. Oh my God.

It's several flowers bund! Oh my god! It's several flowers bundled together in one like a bouquet! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Chris is probably sick of this crap, but then Chris comes in later and she's like, well, I just, I just hope that she remembers this is about her and Chris and not about, you know, fighting and God, I really hope I don't get you all that today by yourself. Please let yourself remember that this day is not about her. Yeah. And Chris is like you and Chisel in the same room. It's like a bunch of lions and hyenas. Uh-uh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just a little insurement. Yeah, which is going to be hilarious because just I'll never forget. Yeah, so then meanwhile we then we go over quickly to Karen's house where she's having trouble choosing outfit she's showing them to Ray. Ray, which one do you like? Like the dress that looks like a bottle of red stripe or this one's just tatters but I've had it for 15 years in kind of for it to replace it. What do you think, Ray? He's like, I love landlines. That's a bad laugh. I faxed the stylist and asked which one's the better. I'm waiting for the facts back, but...

MAAAAT! MAAAAT! Can you call me back? It's very important. I'm going to discuss my drones, man. He said he liked the dress on the left, but he didn't send a cover sheet, so I don't know how many more facts are coming through before he's finished with his assessment. And then we're seeing all these glamorous things. It's like which beautiful dress should I put on? Then Ashley and Michael are, you know, getting dressed and pretending they're like still totally in love and all that good stuff. And Michael's like, is Robin bringing Wann? Because we do our own thing.

We do a mainly thing together. And she's like, what is wrong with you? Why is your face red? Not saying I'm absolutely not thinking about the sort of heat that Wann is picking down there, not at all. So much foreshadowing to it's coming with these two. Yeah. But it's like fancy, fancy, fancy, fancy, fancy. Robins doing laundry. Also, we have to give a big shout out to the skateboarder in Maryland who wiped out, and they put it on the b-roll

in between, in between Ashley and Robin. Did you see that? Yeah, it's like a Robin fail. They're like warning. It's a Robin fail scene. Yeah exactly. Poor guy he's all excited to be doing a skateboard trick on camera. Still find the release though, it.

So yeah so then we see Robin doing laundry before the wedding, which is so Robin. So Robin. Yeah we're gonna be late one well we're gonna be late I'm like well don't do laundry now this is not a time to laundry going to a wedding and you live six hours away so it's like happiness happiness Robin's doing laundry just outside on the couch. Yeah. My poor eyelash. I, yeah, look, uh, terrible. Oh, maybe it's maybe this is like the curse of that couch because I have always hated that couch. It's got like bed posts on it. It drives me nuts because it's like sort of a bed,

but sort of a couch, but sort of neither. It drives me nuts. So she calls Robin and she's like, like, about an hour ago, Sherman informed me, he would not be going to the wedding with me. I was like, that's it. I thought he jumped you. Yeah, well, I mean, it pretty much is a dumping, right? So Robin's like, are you serious? Wow, the tide is certainly turning. No, literally, I'm doing laundry and the tide is in there now.

That is such a part of tide, I can't. Can't even believe you do that to you. Well, well, that's all. A-L-L, that's all. Are you gonna constantly be on this spin cycle? You need to put him on a permanent press. So, yeah, she's like, uh, yeah, Sherman just called and he said he doesn't think he's gonna come anymore and my question is why, why, why are you trying to hurt me? Yeah, I gave him a second chance and totally wasted my time. Okay, this is, to me, this is such an example of how fucking selfish just

tell us. The guy dated you, and the time he dated you one of your idiot friends brought on his ex and talked about him getting arrested for having sex in public and tried to ruin his life I can you not see how maybe he wouldn't want to show up to a group scene where said person is gonna be there well I mean he had dumps jazel at that point he'd go toizelle, so he was already persona non grata in the world of Bravo. So when Monique brought all that shit up, it was sort of like, yeah, fuck Sherman, and now we're supposed to be like all upset

about like Monique bringing that stuff up. You know, and Sherman, here's the thing. I mean, I don't really know where to put the blame because Jizelle was dumb for taking this guy back because his big thing was basically he didn't want to be on a reality show. But then he calls and professes his love. She takes him back, which is dumb of her, and then sure enough when he says he's not going

to come to wedding, he says he doesn't, he's not ready to be around quote all those people end quote, which is code for your co-stars and producers and reality. He doesn't want to be on a reality show. So it's like sure man, that's what Jazeal is. I mean, for better or for worse, whether you like her or not, she's a reality star, so you can't expect to change that. So fuck you Sherman, and you're dumbed

yourself for taking it back. Yeah, I think he got scared at the last minute was like, oh my God, what am I doing? Yeah. So can we just date away from that for a while? Yeah. Or, you know, if I'm gonna be on camera, can I not do it in like a scene with all the people

who were totally mocking me? You know? Or he could like not like hire, get a hooker in the future, you know? Like, like, own the fact that he had a hooker or something like that. I don't know, I just, I don't think the, I don't think that what Sherman did was really that terrible.

It's like sort of funny. And, but the more that he acts all defensive at the more, it's like, oh my god, you aired my man's already business. It becomes a bigger thing. He should just be like, yeah, I was horny and dumb. I did it. I shouldn't have done it. Yeah, well, I thought it was funny

that Robin worded it like this. She said, the point is, she's supposed to be a escort. I was like, LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL. LOL.

LOL. So, just now, of course, we'll burn a whole city down. She's like, I hate him. I hate him. How could you have a job? That's the big. Yeah. Everybody's gonna be asking me, we're Sherman. We're Sherman. We're Sherman. We're Sherman. Yeah. That is pretty annoying to have to answer that question over and over again. Although I don't think anyone really cares enough about Sherman to really ask, right? Does anyone really care about Sherman? And to get back together with him for like five minutes, so maybe not tell everybody, is there gonna start going to counseling to try it?

You know? Yeah, there's that too. I think that everyone perpetually forgets about Sherman. When we did the crappies back in January, we had a in Memorium montage of all the people who left Bravo and Sherman was in there and everyone was like, who, like the entire audience got silence, like who's that guy?

Yeah. No one remembers Sherman. Yeah. Well, he's barely even on, you know. So then we go over, so she's gonna make this whole wedding about herself, you know, which there's always so much he does it, and I'm kind of glad it's Jacelle because so much is boring me.

Jacelle makes me insane on this show, but so many to do that. And I'm kind of glad it's just out. Cause so much is boring me. Just all makes me insane on this show, but so far I'm boring. Yeah. Well, I'd rather this wedding be about Jizzelle than Candace because over in the hair and makeup chair, in the hour before the wedding, Candace is sitting there and she's like, she's, she's, like, she's not even a good bridezilla. She's like, okay, do the makeup in the hair.

Not a both. It's trusting me out. Okay, that door opening closing, it's trust me out. I can't, I'm like, hmm, I think this is like low level, Pride Zilla. I feel like if you're gonna be a Pride Zilla, like really go, like really go for it, you know? I like what she goes. I like this girl, but not this girl.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. I said, I'm not comfortable with this girl. I'm comfortable with this girl. So do this curl. Okay, ladies who's never worked a day in her life. Yeah, seriously. Whoops, sorry, I burnt you with that curling iron. You just kept saying curl.

The curl that she's not comfortable with is already like applying a little square tissue to its eyebrows. It's like, where eyelids? It's just crying in her hair. Oh, Candice. Do you not let my mother in here? I cannot take my mother in here I'm like, well, who's gonna pay these people? Right. Exactly. What are you gonna ask her to slip a check under the door? Dorothy goes, I thought I raised you better than that. Where did I go wrong? Jesus helped me Jesus Jesus is like again really

You wait. Oh, you need me right now to stand up to your daughter and stand in the same room while she gets her hair makeup done This is why you need me Jesus you need me Jesus here right now to do to facilitate this situation You need okay guys stop calling me. I'm gonna turn around now and take my lunch break in Candace It's like if it's not Jesus don't let them in I'm okay, you know, that's it you guys Is it I'm turning off my inner calm for this section of the world right now. I hope nothing tragic happens. There is a man somewhere in Florida who's getting his leg chewed off by an alligator and I came here. I prioritize to you instead of him. Just so you know, then Monique and Chris arrive.

Yeah, just so you know then Monique and Chris arrive And Monique's like I get to eat everything She's like making a positive thing out of it which is great because it's got to be hard for her not to drink Yeah, it must be it must be really hard. It's nice to see out, you know like wow Chris lives too So they they're they're they arrive and Ashley and Michael show up to and things are like very stressed like they're very stressful between Asha and Monique because Monique is still upset that Ashley accused Monique of drinking and driving lassies.

And when, as we all know, Monique merely drank three to five martinis and happened to get very tired and happened to just close her eyes a little bit and serve off the road to hit a small tree and almost a larger tree. Yeah, no bags, but Ashley is messy and she deserves everything she's getting this season. Because she was terrible last season. She just took everybody and ran them over and over and over.

Well, she doesn't every season. I mean, she's like one of the messiest people on Bravo, and I almost think that she doesn't even get the credit for it. Oh, she sure did last year, but this is her season of come-up hits. And I cannot wait, even though I really like her. But you know, it's fun. It's like wrestling, you know. Pick your hat, pick someone, even though you like him,

you still wanna see him get pumbled. Yeah, well, that's the fun of Bravo. So they stay in the car because they're posseys. They just wait for Monique and Chris to go inside. And then she's like, Well, I'm hopeful we can have a discussion. Oh God. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or

in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle Battle and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows, it snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud.

But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So then they play, they show the orchestra starting to play but then they're playing music to, they're playing music over it to purposely make it sound off key, inter-able for Candace's wedding.

Which is our sign that Candace is really mean to the crew. Yeah, exactly. And the procession is like starting, like the guys are coming through and everything. So of course, Candice is now getting in position and guess what, starting to cry. But I'm sorry, she's not even in a... I'm sorry, she's not in position position she's sitting somewhere trying to do a

selfie of herself now that her makeup her hair and makeup is done and she's trying to take a selfie and when she sees herself in her camera she starts to cry and she's okay hold on it's a wave of cry it's a wave of cry okay it's a Snapchat selfie she's like I look so adorable as a Dalmatian. Dalmatian is getting married. I've always wanted to see what I'd look like as a hot dog. And I see I am one now. And it's a lot. Well, there's someone to dry her tears because of course, just so comes up late wearing paper towel dress. Yeah, this is wearing paper towel wings. Yeah, exactly. And she's brought Cal, of course, because Sherman's not available.

And then meanwhile, it's like starting to rain so someone tells Candace like, hey, it's raining, that's a sign of good fortune, which is like that bullshit thing someone says if it rains, when a Geddes starts to cry. She's like, oh my God, oh my God, I have rain fortune, oh my god. Oh my god. I have rain fortune. Oh my god

Jesus Candace there's a dust bunny in that corner. That's a sign of fertility. Oh my god So like a brat like it's a Broadway show they will not see them because they're late like I'm sorry But you have to wait until the end of the day. You have to wait until Tevia's rendition of tradition is over, and then we can see you. But what will I know what the Mama's do with the Papa's do? I'm sorry, you forfeited you're right to know that. Well, you're confused for us to the show. Why are the Mama's doing that? Where are they all cooking? So then also Karen is really late, of course. You're not surprised that she's all her Karen are totally late to this wedding.

So they come and late and here's like, I guess we're just going to stand, have to stand here. Wait, not. So Karen. Ray, Matt, Matt, Karen, it's Karen, it's Karen, I demand an escort, but not like Sherman, it's a goodie. It's a goodie. So Karen and Jizelle are both in the waiting section. They're just out there waiting. Karen refuses to look at Jizelle.

She just keeps slipping her hair. And Jizelle's like, maybe if I look like I'm crying, I'll get attention. But then she just has butt face, walk-air, and clips her hair. This is so ridiculous. And Karen is trying to like be sassy in her interview. She's like, I was expecting to see a Sherman, one me not Caliwally, not the Weddy Betty.

What else can I do a simple rhyme with? Ooh, rhyming, climbing. I'm a my, my business, business. I have a press conference on France. Mm-hmm. So then here comes the bride with her walkie-boob dress. And she has a ton of face shit that has to be pulled back. Oh yeah, her mosquito netting.

The poor guy, first of all, you're supposed to let that mosquito netting when you get to the front. So the guy can see your face fine. Oh my god all you're supposed to let that mosquito netting when you get to the front so the guy can see your face finally my god you're so right I didn't even pick up on that before she even started walking there like okay we better unwrap you you know yeah well because she was getting married to herself essentially you know she so yeah so she walks down the aisle and it's like her she's with her her dad or stepdad and then Dorothy so they bring her up and then there's like typical wedding shit where she's choking up every two seconds over the standard. Do you take this man? Yadayada.

So now it's time for the vows. Candace is like, thank you for being kind to me. Thank you for the gift and the honor of your most incredibly gentle spirit. Thank you for your brown dick that I've told the world about. Thank you for contributing about $45 this wedding. Thank you. And please, next time I have a party for my friends, you can't do it. Don't forget to bring napkins.

Thank you. Thank you for holding my purse and being so kind to accept my highest compliment which is calling you a little bitch. Thank you. So then it's his turn and he's like my girl I heard it through the grapevine that you're dancing in the street. Desk seato. you reach out, I'll be there. Rhythm nation. Diamonds and pearls. Are you asking me to teach you?

Please, Mr. Moose, man. I have a superstition that my guy is like a heat wave. Do you love me? Let's get on it. What's love got to do with it? Stand tall, stand proud, voices that care, crying out loud. My papa was a rolling stone. Piano with a dark.

And you've got tears of a clown. Hey! Sorry, was that too far? Tenderness. Was that too far? I'd like to thank your mother for being here. Money, that's what I want. Wait a minute! Never too much, never too much, never too much. He can't.

War, what is it good for? He can't stop himself. Straight up, that's all me. He's just going to any song now. Come on, Eileen. Who's Eileen? Just go with it. It's like, thank you, next. So then,

Pagan-a-call, goes with us. It's like, this a man, put together titles of black, R&B, and called it Vowza. Who does that, but why is that? He's like, with a brown dick, does that, does it.

He's up there still going. He's like, bat dance, like, okay, Chris. Okay, no need to bring the bat dance into this. Macarena, okay. It's a pitty spider. Come on, ride the train, ride it, the Chuchu. Okay, Chris. He just keeps going. He's on J jock jams now who let the dog out Who I thought that was pretty funny. I like his vows. I hated it. I

It was funny. I think I mean it was like It was one of those things where it's like oh man you know be hilarious if I just took like all her favorite songs and Showing them together to make about vow. And I'm like, well, the novelty is fun, but like you're going to look back and feel sad that you didn't like really say something meaningful. Yeah. Well, I'm sure she doesn't listen to it many way, you know? He just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, he's just, Charlie Brown's teacher.

Wawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawawaw Wapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwapwap I know I've I perked up I was like, I got all excited. I was like, wow, this shows really getting it together this season. I was just mad. I do not like I do not like the potential connection between Candace and Angela Bassett. It's not I do not approve. Too late. Strange days indeed. I'm stuck in our head forever. I know. So Candace, you know, so they get through the whole wedding and now it's time for Robert to show up. Yeah. I know. What a bitch. 30 minutes after the ceremony, you guys show up. I mean, come on now.

That's obnoxious. Really rude. And it makes it even ruder that Robin is just so Robin about it. She's like, it goes to me, Mr. Ceremony. Should we lie and say we were here? And once I come out lying, check, OK, thanks. She's like, what goes through Mr. Ceremony? Should we lie and say we were here and wants like, I'm not lying. Check, okay, I think.

So, look at you. Hey everybody, I'd like to know that Juan is backing me up. We're winning. I know. And she's so robbing because she goes, it's a big step for us to be here together. So if we're late, I mean, as long as we're together, we're on time.

No, babe. No, you're late. You're late because the ceremony was already probably 30 minutes. It probably started 10 to 15 minutes late. And then this is 30 minutes after that? No bitch, you are late. Yes, it's so obnoxious.

I hate that. Like, oh, like they, this is like, I mean, who's, I mean, Candace, this wedding is awful, but it is still like an important, a milestone event for them. And we're supposed to be like, no It's okay because you guys are together It's you've taken a big step which is not a big step at all because you guys live together So it's not unreasonable to expect you guys would arrive together at a social event

So one thing this show needs is these women to be together because so far we've gotten a lot of just women in their regular lives And no one needs to see that or we see them in pace And it's the show does not exceed at that or excel at that. So Here we go finally we're in a place where they can all start to be together and it's like your first day back at school Yeah, no, it's really sure who their friends with everyone has new boobs and new hair I mean, it's just like just like yeah, that's it just like it's red So they start squealing at each other money can carry in her first Wow

So cares like what a beautiful wedding I Like a press conference in the corner of this wedding. Discuss this wedding, ma'am. It's a good day. Something Ray starts telling of the story. He's like, it reminded me of years and years ago when the sea parted and we were walking through it and Karen said, my feet hurt.

She's six of the story, Ray. We're talking about the wedding. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. So he talks about how they they got to the part like sickness and health and Even when you're poor or whatever the words are and she's like I'm a side laughing. I mean at this time he had more to lose and he almost started coughing at the worldly goods part Yeah, and raised basically like well, that's because during the rehearsal, there was never any mention of, and you're going to give over all your worldly goods to her, and then at

the actual wedding, that just sort of got slipped in there. So he was like, taking the back. That's so Karen. So Karen to do a sneak attack like that. Hmm, could you hide this part during the rehearsal? He doesn't need to hear that part. He loves to surprise. Hmm. you hide this part during the rehearsal. He doesn't need to hear that part. He loves to surprise.

I was also thrown off because then we saw a shot of Ray ordering a rum in tonic at the bar. Is that something that people drink? I've never really heard of people getting a rum in tonic before. I think that to older people, a tonic is like a medicine, so it just makes it feel healthy. It's like a vitamin. I like a rum in serum, please. Yeah. So Karen's like, um, Ray and I are dating. So first night we've had since we lost mom and dad, and I'm ready for love. She's like playing ski ball on the Christmas cake. Oh, it's our day. It's like no, this is a wedding Put the ski ball down you're gonna knock over the cake. She's cutting the first piece of cake and feeding it to Ray Yeah, not about you Karen

So then just Ellen Ashley you're talking and Just like well, he said he couldn't come He didn't want to be around just certain people And I said like we were waiting for you He said he couldn't come. He didn't want to be around certain people. And I should think we were waiting for you, Sherman. Yeah. And Ashley, Ashley feels bad, but she's also like so impressed to see that, uh, just actually has feelings. So you know, progress. She can show her feelings when it's somebody else's wedding and she's kind of upstaging.

Yeah. It's like that person. It's like the sheenah of this group. He's like, oh my god I'm so happy. We've got you married unfortunately all I'm left free right after I bought a bag with a spa All these people here in Pankwinsuits remind me of the penguin name spa So then Candison Chris go upstairs to get changed for their big reunion or their big The party outfits and Karen and Monique and Chris are talking and Monique is telling them that she was sitting next to you Ashley that they didn't speak and Karen's like Well, Ashley has a habit of meddling and other people's business. It's not around problems

I think that their marriage is the fake country marriage Um, as she has a habit of meddling and other people's business, star had her own problems. Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pff And I will keep the pizza if there is one She hasn't done that shooting the gun with her fingers like that finger thing where she weeks ago Yeah, and I miss that. I need that that Karen. It's great Karen tick I love by the way the idea that I love that they're so mad at Ashley for meddling when the truth is that all these women are like Supreme meddlers like they are the most meddling. When the truth is that all these women are like supreme meddlers, like they are the most meddling cast of all of them. Yes, they're super meddlers. This really is. And that's why they're doing so well.

Yeah, exactly. So now Karen's asking Monique where Sherman it was and everything. And I mean, it's not really significant. But then we go over and we see Michael and Juan and Chris They're all talking together. They have like a bro moment and they're talking about how Michael has a beef with Ray and I couldn't really understand what was being said because Chris is voice is so deep and like it's like deep But like smoky so it's a lot of time to just sounds like that It's a lot of time to- P-J-

Oh, it just sounds like that. Like, Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y- Yeah, and so then Michael goes Michael turns to one it's like if he was a fight would you jump in between us? You want to jump in between you want to get right in here while squeeze right? It's like we're your tight fit. I'll have to have my body pressed up against yours You think you still want to jump in if we made a joint sandwich would you be interested in bringing the meat? It'll get really hot. We may have to take off our shits He'll get really hot. We may have to take off our shits. We don't want to press stuff. Exactly.

He's like, my wife left some laundry and gotta go. Yeah, exactly. He's like, this is a really big step for me to come to this. Okay. I'm leaving. So the girls decide they haven't seen each other for a long time and nobody really knows what to say to each other because this cast goes in hard at those reunions. I mean, they're just all mortified basically to see each other after they did that to each other at the last reunion.

They go really low. Of course, all of them, especially lately, have been going really low. But it's just funny, because it's the most awkward scene ever for them to have to see each other again. So they just decide to get wasted. So they start taking shots.

And Ashley's like, Well, I've been trying to kind of out alcohol together on my journey. It's like, oh, geez've been trying to cut out alcohol together on my journey. Oh, geez, get wasted. Yeah, please. So meanwhile, Candice and Chris go sort of like next door in this space to check out the reception area. And of course, Candice walks in and sees all the tables

and starts going, oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. This my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Literally a dream. Oh my god. And it's raining. Good fortune. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. I'm so happy that this wedding planner explained to her that she can't fill the ceiling with flowers and instead put a projection up there. Yes. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Thank you wedding planner. But it's still one of being a $200,000 wedding. I mean, it's absolutely insane Absolutely, especially when it was just a curtain that they they moved

Yeah, the reception right behind the curtain. It was like continental breakfast time at the barriot Yeah, so now the other ladies are just like chatting and stuff and and Jacelle Jacelle like winds up talking to Monique like they're sort of saying hi and Jacelle is like oh so you're not being a hater today huh Monique's like I'm never a hater and so then this sort of like prompts them to start talking because Jacelle Monique wants to apologize to Giselle and Sherman and wants to apologize to both of them. Because at this point, Monique has pulled Giselle aside and she's like, you know, she's like, I want to apologize to you in Sherman.

She's like, well, you can only have that conversation with me. She's like, well, yes, but I want to tell both of you guys. I'm sad that Sherman's not here because I want to tell him in person. Well, you have to have that with me. It's only between with me. It's just, yes, but I know I just want to, with me, with me, it's like, just L. Just take the apology for crying out loud.

Yeah, and she's like, when you came for my guy, and if I came for your big boy, you'd be on your ass about it. And she's like, well, look, I'm here to tell you, I apologize, and I'm really sorry, and Chris comes up and he's like, babe, you ready?

She's, can we have a second? And he's like babe you ready She's can we have a second and he's like no, that's my wife Which I like I thought that was awesome You're not gonna sit here and tell off an eight month pregnant lady at a party, okay, just now I thought that was so awesome He cuz he didn't away that he didn't escalate. He wasn't like he didn't do like a Peter Thomas thing He didn't he just sort of he just was like no you do not get another second I'm taking my wife right now. It was I was like oh Chris like Really heated, you know, yeah, he was great Chris is like a such a great guy too. I think he's in so nice and

Like so sweet and you know he's an easy laugher, which I think is the thing I like the most about him He's always laughing at something. Well, you know, I love an easy laugh. Yeah. Yeah, I was built that way. But yeah, the minute she gets heated, he comes and takes her away. And then, did you notice how Jacelle backs right the fuck down right after that happened? Because then she decides to go apologize to Monique, or not apologize, but she's like, I will accept that.

You're a apology, yeah, later. Yeah. And I was like, aha, you just have to stand apology, yeah, later. Yeah, that's like, ha ha. You just have to stand up to Jezel. Yeah, it's true. So now it's the reception time. And of course, Karen and Ray are seated directly across from Michael and Ashley.

So Karen and Michael have a very forced interaction, where Michael's like, hey, hello, Karen. Hey, why you to die? And she's like, I'm good, Michael. You, let me just move this bouquet in front of you. Oh, you disappeared. Such a shame. Yeah, I loved how much she hated him.

And Michael's just so surprised. Michael gets messy with all the women. And he's like, was everyone mad at me? You know, and you just sit there like that old dog that needs to be put down with the watery eyes, turn the red and of shakes in the corner little golem ears. Yeah, yeah, so then canvas Let's I'm skipping over some of this. Well everything was sort of like a blur. Yeah, it was sort of like a lot of little It's like a lot of little mini conversations Yeah, so let's see just L still

Does L's talking to Juan and Robin now. And he was like, are you okay? And she's like, well, I'm telling you this, we are done. We are absolutely done. I'm done now. We're serving now. Which Juan has heard nine million times, you know, and we even saw when she drove all the way after their house to cry to them.

And then Juan does typical Juan reblaims the woman. He gives it every time. He's like, I mean, you don't want to cut it off. I mean, you love this man. You know, it's like, you just didn't do your due diligence on him. He's like, I mean, you don't want to cut it off. I mean, you love this man. You know, it's like, you just didn't do your due diligence on him. It's like, of course, Juan is going to defend keeping it together when he's been the one stringing along Robin for like 10 years. OK?

Of course, he's going to be for that. Yeah. And you know that when they fight about him cheating or doing whatever, he's like, well, you didn't communicate to me that it bothered you. Yeah. Because that's his argument. You just didn't communicate it to him it bothered you. Yeah, because that's his argument. You just didn't communicate it to him. No one.

Like no one. Even Robyn's like, um, he's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there.

He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's in there. He's that reminds me, I forgot to put bounce in the laundry.

We should go. Sherman is dead. To me. Sherman. So next is like the Let's Dance with the, you know, the daddy dance. And this is when she's out, comes up behind when he's like, I wanted to tell you what I appreciate the apology Yeah, and then she goes up to Karen because she's on like an apology tour and she's like Karen No, I want my friend to back and I've had several drinks and Karen's like Mmm, I know I Then Karen goes I do not trust her do I trust her no

Do you I trust her as much as I trust those strange non-quarter telephones Yeah, and just I'll finally get the point. She's like I miss her so much. I'm gonna be a better friend. I was like, yeah, that's kind of what you need to do. Stupid. Yeah, that's usually how front everyone starts. Chris comes out and he's like, can this, can this and at the beginning, can this was like, I've got a little trick up my sleeve for Chris. I've got a special gift. I was like, Oh, God, please tell me it's not the gift of like terrible singing. Because she's coming. Please tell me it's not an oversized picture of his brown penis You all wanted to see it here it is

It's like the singing bass on a wall, but it's just it's his big penis on the wall It sings like how am I? It was that thing where it bends away It does that thing where it bends away. So yeah, sure enough, unfortunately for you and for all of us, it is the gift of her terrible singing. So Candace comes out dressed in tinfoil and she starts singing a song called like, I don't know what used the heart, where to start to describe a mutt I love you, I see you. I see you. It's like a song inspired by Avatar.

I see you. A song inspired by opening your blinds in the morning. I see you. by opening your blinds in the morning. Song inspired by that old man on the porch looking at teenagers walking by. I see you. Get away from here. Get off my lawn. Get off my lawn. You see this? I keep it now. I just put so off key Jesus. I'm a Jesus came into my notes. It was like stop. Please So she dances he's like, oh my god, I'm crying right now. I have to listen to this idiot for the rest of my life All for right out of shittigondo

So then Ashley's drunk so she goes outside and Michael's trying to super hop. He's like, okay, let's take it. Let's just calm it down a bit and then relax a little bit. Sort of what I say to one every time I'm alone with him. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, because at one point he's talking about, oh, it's right here. He's telling, he tells I promised I would get makeup with Ray and you know I said something friendly to him and he touched my arm as he walked by so that's good right I wanted to grab his butt, but I didn't baby steps baby steps I know I was like I couldn't really tell where the joke was in that where where his joke was I was like I feel like you're trying to make a joke But I also feel like you're also giving make a joke, but I also feel like you're

also giving us bread crumbs to your master plan. Yeah, well, his thing has always been grabbing people's butts. Remember the Fusee? Yeah. Andrew is for a season. Yeah, he's grabbing people's butts, all the guys' butts, and they were like, that is gay, yeah. And so he's, I guess, trying to joke about it, but that's kind of way. Got a lot of trouble with the latest season. Meanwhile, we finally meet this, this like half brother, that's caused all this controversy. It's just like a perfectly normal nice dude who just was so happy to be there.

And you didn't even get to bring a plus one. I mean, so that is so can this. Like, I want you to come. It's very important to come because you're going to piss off one better, but I am not paying for you to bring a date. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Meanwhile, Cal gets you to come. It's very important to come because you're going to piss off my mother, but I am not paying for you to bring a date. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Meanwhile, Cal gets in for free. So, um, so Candace and her brother are hugging and then Jacelle meets the brother

and they're all hugging and then Dorothy walks in and it's like, and walks out. She just gives them the worst looks and makes the biggest deal out of giving them terrible looks. How was it? His fault he was born. Yeah. thank you. God, why are you still able to walk down the aisle with the father? But you're mad at the child. It's stupid.

Yeah, did she not learn anything from Catlin Stark? Did she not remember that thing? I think he didn't watch him game of throws for Christ's sake. Seriously. Oh, so then that's pretty much it. The mom sits with Candace and she's like, well, am I good mother now? Yeah, you happy with this? You thankful for your mother?

Yeah. And she's like, well, I'm not gonna clean to my mother. I'm cleaning to my husband because he bought this ring for me, not my mother. Well, what a way. Well, we'll see. We'll see, enjoy that condo that your mom pays for. Yeah.

And that brings us to the end of the real house was of Potomac so glad we could put Candice's wedding behind us And now I'm interested to see how her tagline comes to fruition, which is I think it's something along the lines of Now that I'm now that I'm married This sleeping beauty is woke So I'm like is this now when she like becomes an active member of Black Lives Matter? I don't understand where the woke part happens, but I'm a dream. I can't wait to watch her good door to door and try to scare me into voting. Oh my goodness.

Yeah, I, this show needs to pick that. I expect more from from patoma because it's one of my favorite ones i think it's fucking hilarious but so far i'm like uh... i've been fine with the so far but we're not i've been fine i blame the wedding i've been fine with it but i agreed and us now we can like let's get these women like up into each other's lives a little bit yeah lighted up ladies uh... well tomorrow we will be back doing a crap and so on demand live stream so if you want to watch that, it is at noon in Pacific.

We're going to be covering Vanderpump rules. And then on Thursday morning, we're going to do a 10, 30 AM Pacific time, which is kind of early, but you know, it's lunchtime for some of you. We're going to do a live stream of our real housewives of New York recap before we go off and do our live show in Potomac. Okay. I'm live show in Irvine and our live show in Potomac. Okay? Yeah, I'm live show in Irvine. I mean, in Irvine?

We're gonna Potomac that. No, we're going to Irvine. And so, yeah, make sure if you're in Southern California, be sure to get your tickets at watchercrapins.com because they're actually not a lot left. We forgot to mention that at the top of the show. So definitely get some, because time is running out and so are tickets.

And we'll see you all tomorrow to talk some Vanderbub rules! Bye! Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.