Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Caught Blue Handed

Episode Date: September 8, 2020

It's not a season of The Real Housewives of Potomac without a Michael Darby scandal, and this time around, he's been caught at a strip club talking about having a wife and a boyfriend. Is it true? Does it even matter? Will this have any impact on their marriage? Probably not, but we'll have fun watching the chaos that's sure to ensue!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap we just love to watch on Yield Bravo, I'm Ben Mandelker of the Game Brain podcast and the Real Housewives of Kitchen Island. And joining me is the wonderful and hilarious,

Ronnie Kerrum from the Rose Creek Spectoros podcast. What's up Ronnie? Hello Bean. Happy Labor Day. Thank you, happy Labor Day to you. Thank you. This is our laborious Labor Day. Thank you. Happy Labor Day to you. Thank you. This is our laborious Labor Day. What the hell? I mean, normally, if we weren't doing this, I'd be outside with my shirt off, swimming at the lake, and just kidding. Thank God. I'm saved from all that. I was invited to a pool party. So thank God for this.

I'm actually going to go to a socially distant barbecue of like four other people, like a small, like it's like my crew. So it's like it's like six. And I'm going to wear my mask the entire time, but it's going to be like six of us. And I had to tell them, I was like, well, I'm not going to, I can't, I won't be there on time because, you know, I've got a podcast. And I'm actually happy because it's like a hundred and forty-five degrees in Los Angeles right now And this is in the valley and on top of that those forest fires. So the air is brown So like honestly the idea of like driving to the valley to sit in crazy heat and this situation

Like I'm okay to actually put that off a few hours Yeah, we're just basically doing that. We're just basically keeping on during the apocalypse like the whole world is There's a pandemic. Let's just keep on laughing buddy. I know well the one thing that keeps on going as Bravo It seems like and real housewives of Potomac But before we get into that just a reminder that You should be wearing a mask Despite what certain Bravo celebrities might be you know babbling about Yeah, I'm walking through I'm gonna mask to walk through a restaurant for 10 feet of the taking off again

It's the stupidest thing I've ever seen. I've done a lot of dumb things actually. It's not stupid because if you're inside It's not healthy. We're in a pandemic. Okay, So go to go to go to crap watch or crap is dot com or crap is merch dot com and buy yourself a mask to wear. So that way you can socialize. She doesn't safely. Yeah. That's really, really important. And also go check out our friend Kim. She has a Etsy store and she does really fun stuff. She's made us a bunch of stuff when she comes to see shows and stuff. She can do whatever you want really, but she's made us games. I mean, she does really cool stuff. Oh my God, it is.

She makes us a lot of candy bars, like chocolate bars with our faces on them. Yeah, so you can do a custom candy bar. Okay. She did it like a little beater in the bathtub, real house dogs of West Hollywood. I mean, so cute. So you can find her stuff at rough stuff gifts.com are you ff stuff gifts.com. So go check out camp support your Kim. Okay. And today we have real housewives of Potomac Another year or another controversy with Michael Darby can't wait to get into it.

Michael Darby! I'm so sorry, I just went to the boys at MGM and got my finger up somebody's bum. Sorry about me. Well I guess the cat's out of the bag, you've seen the picture. I'm in the Blue Man group, what can I say? I love to buy Stinky from our RISTA development. Amazing that Michael Darby can even look creepier. Just put him in Blue Light. Blue Man group just canceled. After 25 years, we've decided that our brand has been ruined and we are finally speaking out and saying we're done. Yeah, and that picture they show of him, I mean it really does look like he's in CSI being

investigated by Mark Hellenberger. Like he actually volunteered to be black lit. Would you like to see all the stains that I have on me? Here I can explain. That one right there, that's where Blaine was sped up on me. This one here is some cool Fee icefield. And on that one, that's just my slamming. What can I say, I'm a man.

I can just argue. I'll get you. Mark Hellenberger, investigate Marty and I. Any die of the week. Coffee and C.S.I is what I need in my relationship. God, yeah, that's long. Okay, so today Monique is doing the previously. She's like previously ding dong. I invited all the ladies to my lighthouse even Candice and her friend Wendy too because we really hit it off because we have

Guess for wait for it wait for it Babies, we have babies! Yeah, yeah, we really hit it off. You're on the same show just enough. It's fine. We get it. So yeah, she does the whole sort of Southern charm intro where she narrates the whole story, which is what Potomac is doing this year. And also, I sent Ronnie a very excited text because, you know, I like music just like the next person, but I don't really know music on a deep level. And then the Potomac music was playing, and I was like Ronnie loves the Potomac music and I was sitting with my boyfriend watching and you know he is a choreographer so he knows music okay. And also his family is in that region. And so I was

like Ronnie loves this music. Does this beat have a certain name? He goes it's go-go. And I was like oh I've heard of go-go. Go-go is like the DC beat. So there you go everyone if you've been sitting here being like when will they acknowledge that the beat that Ronnie loves is GoGo, we are acknowledging it right now. There you go, GoGo. GoGo. Okay. Okay. Um, so today I was having trouble because we opened up with a fight and I'm a very sensitive person. Just kidding. They were just talking over each other and talking so fast. And so I turned on the closed captioning.

I don't know why I haven't been doing this for years. It made the best show ever. Just seeing how the poor closed captioned person deals with housewives fights was cracking the up. So it starts with, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it, don't do it. Wendy just saying, don't do it over and over. it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Wendy just saying don't do it over and over and then ask her screaming over her. Come with the wind. Come with the wind. So I was trying to keep it, you know, like what am I watching here? And so I turned on clothes captioning and it just says echoing conversation. It's a good way to sum it up. Yeah, there were some Nike executives that were very triggered by Wendy at that moment.

Don't do it. Don't do it. No, no. No, Puma has totally infiltrated the show. Yeah. Yeah, so Wendy's like, I am female because there's all this talk about, it's like what we saw, you know, like, you don't have female friends. And so she's like, I am female, so shut up. And Ashley's like, Wendy,'t have female friends. And so she's like, I am female, so shut up. And Ashley is like, Wendy shut the hell up. And that's what she starts doing.

I think that God was the wind. That was a personal attack. That was a personal attack. That was a personal attack. She's a repeater, Wendy. She is like, she's just gonna do a repeating. You know, it's not a bad tactic. Okay, we've seen it a lot on housewives,

where you just repeat the same thing very loudly until you can just say I win. Yeah, and what Wendy has going for her is that she can repeat, she can repeat and then if all else fails, she can just say, I have four degrees. I have four degrees. I will repeat for every degree that I have. Okay, I'm gonna say this four times, four degrees.

Yeah, she does, she lists it every single time. It's like, okay, Wikipedia. So, come with the win-win-dee. And she's like, people like you do not call me, Wendy, people like you call me, Dr. Wendy. It's like, please walk out as quickly as you walk in. Oh, let me call you a car. And so Ashley picks up her phone and starts pretending to talk.

It's like, can I get a car for a crazy person? And Karen's like, I'm trying to figure out what planet Wendy is from. You say I'm crazy. Your ass is whack, right? Whack. And then we see Candice. She now has a fork and she's singing,

we're moving on. It's like, oh, I forgot about this side of Candace. I got so used to the paper towel eye blot that I forgot that she actually likes to sing into any sort of microphone thing for any sort of occasion. Yeah, she's the little man of this show. She really is. Well you know when you reach icon status you have a lot of imitators like that girl from Potomac So Wendy is mocking Ashley on the phone and she's like, oh you can't call your car because your phone is disconnected broke Yeah, and it just sells like

Brokey And Ash is like that stupid Wendy that's stupid and Wendy is like And Ash is like, that's stupid Wendy, that's stupid. And Wendy's like, I have four degrees, I'm not stupid, I'm not stupid, I have four degrees. I'm one of these tells us, listen, we've already got a canvas, okay? Someone who doesn't know how to control their mouth, we do not need two of that energy.

I'm like, foreshadowing for when Monique almost kicks the crap out of campus or does kick the crap out of Candace. So Wendy like just goes you're a bug you're a bug go away and she flicks her fingers like she's flicking like a little mosquito out of the way and it's like da da da da da da da. I was like ooh Wendy brought some finger action some unexpected finger action to the show a little flake. Yeah and this is what a fence Robinin, the bug comment. She's like, Wendy. Wendy. A bug, Wendy.

Wendy. Wendy. Now she's like, well, don't get upset when I say you're aggressive. When you flick ladybugs at me. She's like, you told me I was stupid three times now. You told me I was stupid three times now. You told me I was stupid three times now. That's one last time the number of degrees that I have. And if you told me I was stupid three times now.

That's one last time the number of degrees that I have. And if you can't do math, that's four. I don't have a math degree, but if I did, I would have five. Yeah. Rob was like, no, no, no. She said she said you're digging her with stupid, not that you're stupid. She's like, okay, I got you. And then when I said my retort was, she's like, but you said something about money and

her husband's rich. So she's like, well, my husband's rich too, okay? So it wasn't stupid what I said my retort was like, but you said something about money and her husband's rich. So like well my husband's rich too Okay, so wasn't stupid what I said I then I know everyone's just laughing at her because she's like a three-year-old who's decided that they're gonna be bad no matter what Yeah, she was just drunk and angry and she's probably like I can't believe I drove five hours away from my child To be in this humid ass swamp right now with crazy, you know, blue mustard and burgundy walls and old Ashley furniture. And on top of that, an actual Ashley like I am pissed and I will just be bad right now. Yeah so she's like well my husband's rich too okay it wasn't stupid never was cracking up and Wendy tells us listen I didn't say Michael was broke I said Ashley was broke her booty hole is broken her booty hole is broken so your

broke times two you broke broke and so Karen goes hmm you know do the group and you don't know what work we put in and I don't think I've called any of you guys Bitches in five years that's low. I would never ever ever call anyone here a bitch and then like on cues like two years ago Robin you're the doziest bitch on though Oh bitch, what? Security, Security, get these bitches out of my hands. Mm-hmm. That's not cool. Mm-hmm. That's not cool Robbins like okay, we just have to move forward. We have ice cream to eat I got rainbow sherbert so

So Wendy's like she's like I don't want to bring the drama. So it's done. That's it. It's done. It's done. She likes saying that too. It's done. It's done. Yeah. And Ashley's like, Monique, I'm so sorry about this. And she tells us, you know, Ashley pulls out her victim card too, whenever as much as she can. And she does it a few times, so that the submit cracks me up. She's like, if you are a woman who is another mother, please just support me Don't start yelling at me for doing something I need to do for the health of me and my son Thank you. I feel like there are probably several mothers were like yes I agree I got you back

But I also feel like there's like a very sizable if not equal size maybe larger size. It's like oh shut that fuck up Actually like we all do this You're okay, you know you'll be fine. Yeah, and then just like well when the the chef has something to say round of applause for the chef for the chef Basically, he's like thanks. Yeah, he's like thanks. Well, I think that the chef would like a round of applause too. You killed it! You killed it! You've served all this wonderful food for this table of bitches,

which is the word I have and said in probably ten years. I love your bitch cream, chef. Thank you very much. Mmm. Delicious desserts. Here, to say thank you, I got you a... An honorary sign CD was signed by me on behalf of whoever sang that song bitch here It is your bitch your a chef use of bitch food to us gas. Thank you

Alanish bitch a chef. Thank you chef Tory bitch a moose So dinner's over and Robin and just all you there at cell phone camera that walked through the woods, and then Robin's calling Juan, and you know, it's back to like, little things ladies are doing on their own. So Wendy and Candace go put on their night caps, and Wendy's like, let's talk, put your cap on. So they do, and she's like, okay, well, I did it.

I held my ground. They set up apologize, and I said, fuck you, I'm not apologizing, I did it. I helped my ground. They said apologize. And I said, fuck you. I'm not apologizing. I will not apologize. So yeah, she's having her little after my first fight, Kiki. That's nice. She has someone to celebrate with. That's a big deal in Housewivesland.

It is. And you know, the truth is that in a normal situation, Wendy should have apologized at that dinner when she acknowledged that her delivery was off or everything was off, but she still wouldn't apologize. And in a normal situation, you'd expect her to, but the truth is, on a real housewives show, especially if you're new, if you apologize, like the moment your behavior is thrown in your face, that is often perceived as weakness and then they will attack you the rest of the season.

So she has to sort of be a little ridiculous and irrational for a night and then do the apology the next day because it's her way of saying, even though I may be totally on the wrong, if you try to fuck with me, you're gonna get all this. You know, it's like a posturing thing.

It's not how I would live my life, but it's sort of how you have to like mark your territory on these shows. Yeah, on a house wash, so you're throwing into the lion's den. So you just scream and yell and make everybody afraid. It's like when people are beating you up at school and your dad's like, hey Ronnie, punch them. You know, if you punch a bully,

then they're never gonna bother you again. So then the next day, the bully's not not really bothering you but then you punch him anyway and then you look like the asshole in the principal's office and then you have to take your class picture with the big split lip yeah that we i can't imagine anyone that happened anyone yeah no it's like you know thank god i don't know anything about it thank god you don't even have that experience i know but the truth is that like if like if Wendy had had to apologize at that moment, then I think they would have kept poking at her and like trying to get a rise at her and making her apologize over and over again.

And then at the reunion, she says, well, you know, these women are so awful to me and they keep on attacking me and I apologize and it's like never good enough. And then you know what they will all say? And tell me for this sounds familiar. Well, this is a very tough group. It's a tough group and you know, it's hard. You just have to like really stand up for yourself. Yeah, I have to have thick skin in this group.

Yeah. So then Wendy gets her, her, you know, monoling. She's like, you know what, the ladies are disregarding me and they're disrespecting me, how I feel about my daughter. My daughter came early and she was like, you know what the ladies are disregarding me and they're disrespecting me how I feel about my daughter My daughter came early and she was in the nick you so you don't get to tell me how I feel and then they cut They got to a picture of her when she was going through all the and serious stuff that she went through with her daughter

I was just cracking up at it because the picture of her is like Glam squatted out holding this little thing. Yeah, She's got like a beautiful face of makeup in her hair done. And I was like, oh, you need to get a worse picture just why you tell this story. Yeah, just for this story, you need to like, something like a little more like, just fondant. Yeah, not like, like you were just like, it's just so housewives, isn't it? Yeah, exactly.

So, yeah, you know, So how's lives is it yeah exactly so yeah You know and the Candace is like she tells us like well, it's probably not the best juju to call some of the fake ass bitch That you just met yesterday, but I want one to you to feel welcomed and not have her run screaming into the damn Potomac And she's wearing a wig. That's be respectful So yeah Candace is kind of cringing she's like well, maybe you could have said it differently So yeah, Candace is kind of cringing. She's like, well, maybe you could have said it differently, but I don't know. And she's like, well, tomorrow's a new day.

So continue to let us know who you are. That's what you need to do. And she's like, okay, I got you. And then Candace is like, okay, now let's go to bed. I need to keep these edges covered. Yeah. So it's the next morning. And Monique is in her bathroom.

And she has, she's talking to Chris on the phone, like on speaker, but she also has to child her there and she's talking to the child, being like, are you gonna eat today? Are you gonna eat? He's been throwing up. You've been throwing up, haven't you? And you just hear Chris on the phone go, aw, boe-boo. You know, I don't really care about the bird like that, right? I'd rather hear about Ash and Wendy than to try love, you know? Oh, and then Ash sees with the baby and the nanny and then just Ellen Robin are jumping on beds.

It's a wacky episode, guys. Wacky. It's super wacky. Karen's spring fragrance. La-Dame got to make sure all the mosquitoes know about the new sententown. Listen, any mosquitoes on my ankle have another thing come, they're all gonna fall in love with me. All those mosquitoes will say, hey, did you hear about that? Really elegant blood over there. You gotta get some of this.

I have the most mosquitoes bites here and that's all because of the dumb, most is our blood in the the region. And then midia comes in. Monting, Monting, Monting, Monting, Monting, Monting. Have I said that yet? Monting. And it's breakfast time. Yeah, everyone's wearing robes that Monique has given them from something called the socialite collection, which I tried to look it up because I was like, who is pushing this socialite collection that I am now continuing to push here on the podcast,

but I didn't get to the bottom of it, but I just want to point out that it annoyed me. Just have a good one. Just have a good one. I just like everyone knowing what my triggers are. Yeah, someone selling something, but badly. Yeah, bad branding on a house side show. Well, meaning that they're just trying to make it look like,

oh, they just got these robes. But I'm like, no, this was some funny business going on here with these robes. And I'm not gonna let it pass. Mm-hmm. Commissions. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up

on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity few, from the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon

music or wonder ya. So, just like Monika, are you making pancakes? And she's like, well, I'm the pancake pro, so do not ever disrespect my pancake. Turned on his back, you better keep it up with the butter beautifully, just how it served. And she's like, well, I'm just into how it tastes. Let's have a pancake. This is a cook off. I need to concentrate and focus.

Now, normally when Bravo shows do this, they usually are like a little star for content and I'm always rolling my eyes, like oh god, it's another, you know, it's another stupid thing like this. I feel like we've seen this on so many shows. Like I'm remembering when Real House was a bit lanter, went to Destin, Florida and they were rained in, so they had to like come up with like little games

inside their house and it was just kind of like, uh, so normally just kind of like, so normally I'd be like, oh God, some pancake off. But I was surprised at how much I was invested in this from the very beginning. Well, it had carbs in it. Yeah, it was a scene with carbs,

which we can always get behind on this show. Yeah, exactly. So, just out they start doing this pancake cook off and everyone's cracking up and just like, I can't believe I went from Ethmonique, I don't watch your fake hugs, I don't need to see your silly face, I can't stand your stupid laugh to I kind of like her right now Despite her terrible pancake saw so I can't and Candice is just like watching and she's like saying how she and Monique haven't really talked and she's like Well, if the Lord put something together, sure, I will talk to her.

I obey the Lord. But that's not even all the time. Do I do that? Yeah. So where's Ashley everybody? Well she's in her room and she's, you know, doing that thing where you talk to your baby like it gives a fuck. You want to call Daddy?

Let's call Daddy. He probably won't answer him, but let's call Danny. He had a big celebration last night. He closed a really big deal last night. Let's call Danny. Let's talk more pacifal. Give me that thing, your mother bitch. And then she has her very sad, Ashley moment, where she's like, this is my first time

to be away from Michael since I had Dean, but it's easier than I thought because I'm just used to not seeing Michael in the daytime. And then she looks down. Oh, sad. So, God, welcome. That's your gift not having to see Michael all day. Good morning, Dr.

Good enough, Mama. Where, where? Paste me one of those bris, if you will. That would be great, mama. Where, where? Less iPhone, more booby time. Where, where? Where, where?

Where, where? So then all of a sudden the camera goes crazy and it goes 12 hours later. And it's like, and then it says 12 hours later, and then like the 12 hours later, shatters into million pieces Like they're really leaning into the real house as a Potomac is a blockbuster film The entire screen has just crashed

They're like look we just spent $300 on a new effect suite for final cut So we're gonna use every single one It's kind of like when you first got like a camcorder when you were a kid and it had like things like fade in fade out So when you make your home videos Like every scene would have like a fade out on it because you're good. Yeah, so they're really they're loving their apple sweet of Everything over there because they use their um Don't don't don't the violins like the rush band violins. I love the show. Yeah, I can't wait for them to use their old time, like Cpato and, you know, movie thing.

Like, they're gonna use that soon. Yeah, they're gonna be, like, earthquake, earthquake effects. Um, or the one, yeah, the use of one where the TV's glitching a lot too on this. Oh yeah, you know, you're gonna hold TV and look, it's glitching out. You know what they're gonna do? This is a classic for my childhood.

The mirror, where like the left side of the screen, mirrors the right side, so you do these crazy shapes. I think that's coming soon. Mm-hmm. So Monika's looking at her phone in this. Or Candice. Very, very, Candice, I'm sorry. She's looking at her phone in this very, very scary

broken screen scene. And she's reading a text and she's looking at her phone in this very very scary broken screen scene and She's reading a text and she's kind of reading over the text because she's not sure if the camera men are getting it all You know, so the text says my girl is a bartender at the strip club and I came to see her child. He was in there To several strippers. He was talking about how he got a boyfriend and a wife. Eight shrug emojis. It's like, that's a shrug emoji. She's like, I don't know. Uh, uh, uh. It's like so many shrugs. And then the next text is, your girl, baby daddy,

was out at the strip club last night, and then there's the photo of Michael and the blue light. You know what I am? Just coated in blue, just a blue or saucy, just with a bunch of guys you understand the joke at last paton asses. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Does it count as a boyfriend and a wife of world part of one gentle community? That's nice Small fat was sort of everyone's wife was she not oh god poor smurf at geez I feel so sorry for her every time I see her

Having to deal with all of this her entire deal with that to deal with that awful in-cell brainy smurf. Ugh. Oh, yeah, brainy smurf was the worst. Yeah, he was the worst. And if I had to sit through another scene of him getting fucking kicked out of that town and landing on a rock outside, then he comes back for more. Have some self-respect brain. He go move somewhere else.

And if you're so smart, why do you live in a mushroom? I mean, I mean mean for calling out loud. You know what this you know what this little Smurftown needs some cab a fucking ray, am I right? Happy birthday, Jew brainy. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Lalalala LONDAY Well, things have been rough, I... I've had a rough year, but guess what, everyone? I'm getting married, his name is Gargamel, and he has a penthouse. I haven't quite gone along with Asriel, but, you know, there's time to smooth things over. Please tell me it's not about Gargamel. You got to back Gargamel.

Oh God, skinny smurf. Um, so Candace is like, oh no, what am I supposed to do? What? What am I supposed to do? And then it cuts back to Ashley going, I don't know how mommy is supposed to function today, but we'll figure it out. Oh, the trials of Ashley. So then we come back to the present and Eve, who is like the not nanny,

but is nanny, is taking Dean for a walk. And it's back to pancake thing. And so, uh, jazelles pancakes come out first and they are definitely mid-shape in, but I liked the color on them. I liked the color. And, uh, they looked, they looked delicious to me. I was already kind towards Jacelle after the first batch there. Well, I'm working really hard at developing a healthy eating plan, so I looked at both of them like they were Satan

and I wasn't gonna, I hated them both because they were both terrible for me and could lead to diabetes too. That's how I judge both of your pancakes. That's, I wish I had that outlook, but instead I just was like, I want pancakes. Like I would have made pancakes. I wish I had that outlook, but instead I just was like, I want pancakes. I would have made pancakes. No, I don't have that outlook.

I'm totally faking it. My stomach is growling right now while we're talking about pancakes. No, no, no. Faker to you make it, Ronnie. Faker to you make it. So I will say Monique's, her shape was great. They were perfect circles, but the color was terrible. They were so pale.

Those were not right. Not only were they circles, but the color was terrible. They were so pale, those were not right. Not only were they pale, here's the other thing. So I'm not a great pancake maker, but I'm getting better and better. And I'm starting to recognize some areas where I've gone wrong. And I don't know if you saw this, but Monique's pancakes, the ones that did have color, had a ring around the edges, right? And then it's sort of like pale, and then it's like dark again in the middle, you know? Has that happened with your pancakes?

That I mean, so actually what that means is I don't think you have enough fat because it's not coating properly. I think because the best kind of pancake is when it's in like an even tan all the way across. And when you all the way across. And when you get the sorrows. Seriously, my stomach is about to eat my liver. That's about my stomach is growing. We have to stop.

I have to get this out because it's been in me. This is the poison in me. Because I have to get it out because if I don't, I'm going to have to make myself a pancake. And the point is this. The point is this. Okay. Her pancakes have perfect circles, but she did not have enough fat in the pan, which is probably why hers did not taste amazing. And then when Jacelle said a taste of like olive oil, I meant that she was trying to be healthy with her pancake. And I'm sorry, once you've gone down the pancake route, it's never gonna be healthy. So just come to a tasting bit.

Yeah, stop hiding your pancakes healthy, okay? God! Yeah, everything doesn't need to be a healthy version. My sister brought over cauliflower of rice, like fuck off with your cauliflower rice. I actually don't mind cauliflower rice. Okay, you know what? Stop fucking with me today. No, I like cauliflower rice with Indian food

because I feel like the flavor of the cauliflower works well with Indian food, but I don't think cauliflower rice works for every occasion though. I will say that. Yeah, I guess what it was in the Indian food that I made. Thank you very much.

I made a curry and guess what? Guess what it tastes like? Cauliflower, okay? It does not taste like rice. So stop calling it rice. It's not rice. Rice is ready and carbony and delicious and makes you feel like a fish that's eaten too much food

and about to go belly up, okay? Like it needs a bigger bowl, okay? That's rice. That's right, smart. That's all about rice. Okay, that's rice. Also, the other thing is, I'm sorry, I have to dwell on this. The other thing is, now I honestly have no shade about,

like I'm no disdain about making pancakes from a mix. Like I think like crusty is an amazing pancake mix. That's the only way to make a pancake is from a mix. Like I think like crusty is an amazing pancake mix. That's the only way to make a pancake is from a mix. I don't like homemade pancakes. I think those are bullshit. I like them both. I think whatever type of pancake you get, you will get different experiences and they all are good,

right? Like it's like pizza, right? Like I would never, like a frozen pizza can be just as delicious as, they're just different types of pizza that are always gonna be good. Who are you? How are we? No, I'm just saying, I'm not saying it's not, I'm sorry, no, it's not as good, but it'll still be good.

It'll still taste good. If you have a frozen pizza pizza, as opposed to certain things where they're frozen, if you have frozen fried chicken, it's not gonna be as good. It's actually objectively bad. But all pizza is good, and I think that all pancakes are good. But that being said, I kind of feel like if you're having a bake off on who makes the best pancakes,

I think it's sort of weird that you're both using a mix. Because then at that point, it's just kind of like, who can, who has their better timing? And who knows how to put more oil in a pan? You know? That is apparently a real contest because look, they came out totally different. For sure, but I'm just saying, I feel like

I would have more respect for this if they both had their own recipes for the pancakes, as opposed to just like, and they do, they do because they probably sure they put in different liquid and jazels had chocolate chips in them, et cetera, but still. I just thought like it was jazel because jazel got me on my popover kick years ago and she

made popovers for her kid. But even that didn't make sense because she was making them in a pan. So I don't know if she was just making popover dough and making them like pancakes, but I did learn how to make popovers and that began my enormous weight gain. So I'd like to say thank you, Jizz L. You started paying cake. I made you start paying cake. I started paying cake.

I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake.

I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake.

I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started paying cake. I started shape and they look like my pancakes. I'm not going to lie. My pancakes look like that. But taste she gets a 22 out of 25. And then Wendy is, she's like, Wendy goes, because Wendy's like, I'm seeing it. And she's like, and now we move on to competitor number two. And she like runs away because Monique enters with TachChalla on her shoulder. He said mommy won. So for presentation, obviously Monique wins, but now it gets spicy. She only got a 16 for taste. So Jacelle's tasted better, but eventually Monique wins because hers looked better and tasted decent and can't can't this is like these pancakes are a metaphor for a character in both of these women. Jacelle's pancakes were

messy but good on the inside and Monique's were aesthetically pleasing but they were giving nothing on the inside. Well, and I was like yours yours is pretty pretty good too. You did nothing and just sit there with a fork to keep your job. Candice's pancakes would just be a giant splatter because clearly they were hit by a pocketbook at some point. Why does this pancake taste like purse leather? Why does this pancake taste like it was purchased by someone's mother? So did you notice that by the way when they gave Monique a 16 out of 25 they did a close up on to Chala who goes, Lies!

So Monique wins and then let's see what's next. Now it's time to go fishing. Yes, it's time to go. I had like about 30 more minutes of material about those pancakes, but I won't gladly. I don't know, now I do feel bad, and I don't respect for you, I will put them away. And we'll go. Oh, well thanks, it's already done. It's like murder, it's like stabbing someone

into face and be like, but I'm sorry. My face is stabbed, okay? I just liked Karen's assessment. Mmm, just how does it look like do-do? I mean, if it looks, it's not that I've ever had do-do, but if I would have do-do, I'm sure it tastes like that, and I don't know if I like do-do, but I know that I like that do-do more than the pancakes.

What am I trying to say here? The point is they're all bitches. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe It tastes like do-do from a bitch bitch do-do. So do it tastes like. So it's time to go fishing and Everyone's calling like checking what there has been Robin checks in with the guys to see when they're coming and Chris calls Monique and he's like well, I'm sorry about the cooking on the grill, but you know if I If I'm cooking then I won't have time to play golf or go on the boats or have fun or do vacation stuff so I was thinking of getting some catering out there. Yeah, she's fine. And by the way, there's like these three glasses of some sort of like milky substance, perhaps milk itself, but I'm not sure, but they're in front of Monique and it kept on popping up in front of her

the rest of the episode and I'm like, I wanna know what was in that strange, like wine glass that was milky. But either way, she's like, she's like, that's fine, it's fine and she's pissed and she's like, I'm just gonna put all my emotions in a box on the shelf, that's the canvas box. At some point, one of these boxes is gonna fall

and I'm gonna have a big mess to clean up. Probably after I take that box and try to slam that box into a table. At some point, that's gonna happen and I'm gonna have a big mess to clean up probably after I take that box and try to slam that box into a table At some point that's gonna happen. I'm sure So Jizelle and Wendy go for my kind of exercise. They walk extremely slowly. Yeah They just go outside to walk so fucking slowly their hearts probably fell asleep Like that was some slow slow-ass walking their hearts probably fell asleep. Like that was some slow, slow-ass walking.

Wendy looked like a bottle of French's mustard. She was wearing this like, bright yellow snake skin Nike jumpsuit. And Jacelle was like, no, I'd like Wendy, okay, Wendy is my soror, okay? Wendy is smart, Wendy is someone who might go after someone like Ashley,

which I appreciate, and also Karen hates her. So I like her. So I want to get to the bottom of this saw. Yeah, she looks like a steering wheel that I can steer right into Karen now. Yeah. So she's like, well, this and after last night, I felt like maybe, you know, I really like you and I want to get to know you, but then last night happened and I thought, do I want

to get to know Wendy? I don't want to feel that way. So I want to figure out what's going on. And Wendy's like well you know here's what's going on. I don't feel like my child is of the age she should be left by herself for this long and then to see another baby there as a realization that wow my baby could have been here and she's like yeah well I'm not here to defend Ashley we're all individuals. We mother differently. So let's just leave that alone. We're about to focus on Karen. So do you have anything else to get out? So here's what I have to say. And this is

Jacelle blatantly just trying to like, it's not even a manipulation. Like there's no finesse about this. She goes, well, you have had no problems no previous issues and in my mind Your anger should have been directed towards Karen Like wait what? Karen did not bring a baby Karen did not do anything to trigger trigger Wendy what's like ever but the fact she's like yes You should be angry at Karen about this because I want you to be angry at Karen I was like this is Ramona singer like that's why people compare Potomac to New York. They say it's really the true, like whatever the word is, like legacy or second coming of New York at thousands of footsteps

because there's just like blatant messiness that's so blatant you just have to love it. Like that is, that right there is hilarious. She's just like, you should be mad at Karen just because I'm telling you to. Like that's amazing That's amazing and she's like well she's had plenty to say at Wendy She says that you're a free dancer or a flusy free dancer if that makes it worse I mean why waste her first housewives fight on such a trivial thing

When you could be yelling at Karen. Yeah, and it was your flashback of Karen's like Well, I would like to get to know Wendy. I've never met her before. I've never seen her before. It's nice that she made her debut here at this trip. And, you know, I just wonder if Wendy will be can get past the fact that Wendy's had three babies and is a freelance correspondent for CNN. And Wendy's like, freelancer, I'm a professor

at Johns Hopkins University. Just so close, I don't need to resume. And she's like, well, I have four degrees. And I was the first one that got a PhD in my field as a black woman. And she's questioning that. Well, she wasn't questioning. She just said, flusy, flusy freelancer. Let me just say that again, flusy, freelancer.

She says, you're a flusy, free, lancer. You might want to explain the freelancer thing to her. And she's like, she can go go me. With that, make her a Fluzy goodler. I don't know. I just want to remind the key word here is Fluzy, yeah. Fluzy, yeah. So then the other girls are on golf carts to go to Canoos and just out and went and walk over very slowly. And she's like, what is that? A canoe, wow.

Is that a flu, is that for flusies? Because otherwise Wendy should be in that one, according to Karen. Is that a flusy canozy? So she's like, why are we doing this? Can we just get in the pool? A lot. Money's like, no, we're going we're gonna fish this very peaceful here. Let's take a little innocent worm And never did anything to anybody split it down the man

Uh What I like is actually when they walk over to the dock before for to get their get their bait on Karen's like All right, I'm gonna fish from the dock. I'm fishing from the dock. I'm good to go. So let's get these worms and get it over with. Alright, I'm here to look at the worms. Oh! Ray!

Hey, so got it. So got it. So got it. Someone's beating up these worms. And Wendy's like, this is like a circumcision. Ugh. So they get their worms on the hooks, et cetera. And Candace and Robin go paddling out together.

And they're, of course, a disaster. And it just keeps cutting back between, back and forth between them, being a disaster and bumping into peer, what do you call those? Like peer polls. I don't know what you call them. Okay, I'm not a very sporty person. And then it cuts between that and Monique just being so happy

on her boat. Wow, Thank you for this beautifulness world Poor Robin. I feel like Robin has never been on a seafaring vessel that I've never just went straight I feel like that's just the curse of Robin that if Rob moment that's Robin gets on to and a canoe a Robo a cruise liner. It just drifts to the left the new a Robo, a cruise liner, it just drifted to the left. Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Got her. So then, on the dock, Ashley is fishing with Wendy and Ashley, Ashley's fishing with herself. Uh, Jizelle, I guess Jizelle's sitting there, right? It's just only been here. Yeah, Jizelle and Karen are fishing, sort of. They just are basically sitting there with their stuffed dangling in the water, which is fishing. And then Wendy and Ashley are there too, and Wendy is like, so Ashley, you know, last night my delivery was not cool. And also the use of the word bitch had no place in that conversation.

I mean, I haven't even said it in six or seven years. Not even something said that word, those bitchworms. You bitchworms. Stay on the hook, bitchworms. How long is it going to take me to catch a Steven bitch from this leg anyway? I'm Ash's like, is that an apology? Oh, do I hear and I'm sorry there? And she's like, oh, that's a Wendy owning her shit, okay?

Like she owns PhDs. And she's like followed by one, she's like, oh, she can't make herself just say sorry. So Ashley's like, okay, come on, snake skin. Okay, I'll start. I'm sorry that I was going on like that with my behavior. And when he's like, well, thank you for apologizing first. I apologize for using the word bitch and that's all.

Yeah. So then Karen turns to just like, okay, are you ready? Let's get out. Let's get away from these bitches. Am I right? And she's like, okay, are you ready? Let's get away from these bitches, are my right? And she's still like, no, no, I just want to wait a few seconds to make sure they're really okay. Maybe give an opportunity, maybe for Wendy

to get mad at you, Karen. So let's just hang out a little bit longer. I was like, I know what you're doing there, just, you want Wendy to pop off on her. Yeah. So Ashley asks, is there something else going on because that was a lot. Wendy's like well, you know My husband sent me a text with my daughter and even talking about her

I miss her so much and they're come on. Oh my god. We have babies. Why are we being so mean to each other? We both have babies. It's like two ladies who have a gather sign. They can't hate each other. Come on They must gather so Karen's, Wendy has confused me this, Trevor. That was a quick swing from, I'm gonna fuck you up to please forgive me, that's crazy. I mean, what a way to make a first impression. Me meeting her the first time on that, pontoon in the leg, and she's already apologizing

for something. And Wendy says, well look, for me, my third baby is not different from my first baby, okay? I still feel the same pain with the third baby. And now she's like, I'm not taking anything away from that. It's just that I had the chance to bring team. And I'm going through postpartum depression. And it's really hard to get through it.

And she's like, okay, well, that's real because I feel like I've lost myself to. So, you know, to that, I say, I have no idea how to deal with it. Good luck. Well, do this together. So then, oh, they're friends now. So you know to that I say I have no idea how to deal with a good luck So then oh their friends now You have to do if ever you're gonna be in a fight with somebody all you need to say is I have a baby Yeah, and if they have a baby, then you can be friends. We all know that. That's a great It's a great. It's a great lesson to be taught and then Karen tries to cast her line to go okay I'm gonna try to catch one more bitch out of this pond and so she tries

to catch her line and then she's like where's my fish is that what's my fish she's like it's on your chair raw so Karen caught her chair oh so now they're back home and when the is singing a pumping song because she's she's pumping she's like, oh, I do is pump. My whole life is pump. And Monika is doing a photo shoot for Instagram with her bird. Yes, of course. She's always trying to call Jean-Jamel but can't get through. I guess no one really wants to get onto the Wi-Fi. I don't understand what's happening. And then Michael, face times with Dean, how are they at Dino? How was your evening? Did you have a similar evening to me

where you just stayed in and were a very, very boring person not doing anything, not seeing strippers or talking about wives and boyfriends, is that what your night was, Dino? Well, hello, papa. Whang, whang. Or have not had any lapdenses, but I did perform a lap set where I set on mother's lap and drank some milk.

Whang, whang. Well, father, it looks like you're not the only one who had a titty in his mouth. Whang, whang. Have you got my book? But I'm too father. Why when? Why when? So that good. So that producer asks Ashley, do you think Michael likes being placed second in your life? And she's like, he hates it. Well, now he knows how it feels. So Ashley's like, have you had dinner? And he's like, oh, I've had dinner with more retail He hates it. Yeah. Well now he knows how it feels.

So after he's like, have you had dinner? And he's like, oh, I've had dinner with my retail guys. You know, there was the get old Navy banana republic. I prefer to have retail friends in the same family. So there was there. They were all on the same credit card, if you will. And I'll drink a bit, so I'm a bit worse for the wear. Yeah, we went out last night to our strip mall

We went to a strip mall and it feuded a restaurant. It was delicious And she's like, well I'm pumping so take care, you know, I'm gonna take care It's like all right there. Well, I miss you and love you and here's a $20 for your ass crack. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm on, man. I'll talk to you later. Let's get cracking. Yeah, let's get cracking. So then Karen's on the phone with Ray and she's like, hi, Ray.

Miss me, my child. Like John Jackson. Miss you. He's like, hi. She's like, oh, why aren't you excited when I call anymore, Ray? Ray is saying you don't do this. You don't do that for me. And you don't do this.

You don't do that. Well, I've done nothing but shelter on for this man that I need him to shelter on for me. I'm gonna go play golf. I'm gonna go play golf. For Christ's sake, Ray's just sitting there in his sweet little golf hat. He's just at high. Like, what do you want him to say?

You should be so happy that he knows how to answer a FaceTime. I know, and he's holding the camera right to his face instead of like holding it way below. Do you know how many times she's probably FaceTime to move over the past three months and he's picked up a saucepan and put it to his ear and said hello. The price, Maddie, just keeps answering things in the kitchen and she's not there. She's just calling me and hanging up. It's not the ladies go to a pool, go to the pool that's outside, as opposed to the non-existent indoor pool.

And they're just hanging out and Candace is like, you know what, you and you and you and you, you are all examples of the kind of mom I would be. Okay, you're not like all about the kids. You're not crazy. You're about yourself. Okay, you throw knives, you sing songs, you hate your mother.

That's the kind of mom I want to be. So yeah, it takes the pressure off. I mean, I don't have to be perfect or even a good mother. I mean, I don't have to be perfect or even a good mother. I mean, look at you guys. And she says, there's so many things that can go wrong. And she says, well, it is going to go wrong. And then we'll find out.

Look at you. Look at you. The embodiment of going wrong. Right. Yeah. And so Candace has sort of spooked up because she's you know she's seeing Ashley who's happy but struggling and it's just making her a little nervous and But that so just no one really cares what Candice has to say about motherhood to be honest

And I'm like no while you're fake. I'm scared of motherhood story. You're gonna need something else Yeah, yeah exactly so then Monique comes in with some pizza and they're like, oh Monique, thank god. We're starving. We're talking about eating your bird They go inside and just eat pizza and they just basically stare at each other. They're so bored at this farm of the trip I'm just so bored of each other. They're in this awful like burgundy room with like Chris's sports memorabilia at this Brown bar from 1986 just eating pizza. There's those weird tall wine glasses full of milk and they're just have nothing to say Yeah, they're so boring. So just how comes up with the game? She's like, let's have a lady of the lake Competition

Yeah, so they're gonna have a pageant off between Candace and Ashley are two pageant, are two beauty queens. So we see all the stats. First we see Candace still heard, Miss the United States 2013, talents include singing, cutlery tossing, and she came from Jesus.

What did Ashley say? Miss D.C. 2011 talent,otser, loves older men and yoga. Not as good as the cat this one. I didn't even write it down. I was like, I'm tired. So then, just, first they have the walkoffs and of course, Candice walks just how you think she would. Like, and Ashley walks like you would think she would like really sexly and winked.

And so then they have a question round and Chiselle is horrid of course. She's like so wow. Candice. How do you feel about being so short? And it zooms in on to Chalau who goes you trick. She's like well being vertically challenged is suppressing because it's taught me the benefits of reaching high for my dreams. And as the next woman of the lake, I will teach all the girls to love the skin that they

are in, even when it has Louis Vuitton imprints on it from being hit in the face by their mother. Ashley, how do you feel about having a larger forehead than most stars? And everyone's like, oh my god. And Karen goes, hmm, just, you know better. Anybody talking about your stove pipe leg? I don't even know what that means, but I'm gonna look at that. This is a great pipe.

That's just a poor, like, she's like put up. So, I'm gonna put up. I'm gonna look at that. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna look at that. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna look at that. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up.

So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up.

So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put up. So, I'm gonna put Yeah. So Ash is like, well, thank you. In many cultures, a large forehead is a simple of beauty and intelligence, both of which I have. And furthermore, I would like to compliment Candace

on her height because good things come in small packages. Thank you very much. Yeah. So then they go on to the talent competition and Ashie sort of twerks. She does like, undilates maybe. And he comes like, hmm, I didn't think you could twerk with a Toh on booty haul.

Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. And guess what Candace does. Happy birthday, you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday to you. Doing a duet. Happy birthday to you. Doing a duet.

Happy birthday to you. You. Um, and yeah, I need that to stop. And Ashley's like, well to me the talent needs to be entertaining and original. And obviously the birthday song is one that can, can't just say saying on many occasions. And then we get clips of canis just are we singing happy birthday? It's crazy that this is something that we're seeing on two different shows at the same time. Like, like, like an addiction to seeing the happy birthday song. It really is.

It was funny when Bravo Storylines just keep crossing over like that. You know, there was like a South Park one's had a really famous episode where it was like Simpsons did it, Simpsons did it, where it's like whatever it was, whatever Storyline you thought you came up with, the Simpsons did it first, whatever happened in real life, the Simpsons did it first. I think this is one of the cases where we can say, Roni did it. Roni did it first, the happy birthday. The person who can't stop singing happy birthday. Or actually, if you look at the tape, it might actually be...

I think it's this show. It might have actually been Candace. Yeah, Candace started. The point is that the real housewives did it the real housewives did it Yeah, the real housewives wrote happy birthday. Yeah, so just else like it just all announces the winner and it's Ashley I mean it's Candace the first one to wrap is Ashley so Candace wins and As she's like well, I'm just happy she won a crown Probably on board with the last one she won

That's a crown. Probably on board with the last one she won. But the same. So yeah. So, uh, now they're getting ready for dinner and Robin is getting ready in some bathroom. And I don't know if you saw those strange drapes. Did you see the drapes? Please tell me you saw the drapes. No. They were just like peach and white stripes, but like these big chunky, almost

nautical look, but it was peach. Ah, I mean everything about this guest house is like more both houses just It's rough. It's rough. This is Bravo. Okay. This is not TLC. Okay. We need to have appropriate interior design Well, we know it's a very important getting ready section because we're in letterbox again It's a big budget movie so everyone's getting ready and putting on makeup and Robles like, oh, I didn't mean to do that. And then Ashley's kissing her baby and everything's just perfect in housewise land. And then, bo bo bo bo bo.

Monika's getting texts. What? What? Your girl baby daddy was out last. Your girls baby daddy was out last night at a strip club He was there with several stripers boyfriend and a wife. This is not Lisa van the bumper at all Lisa van the pump is there in like a trench code in a hat Pat, pictures, my new job is the photos of other people. So yeah, so it's Michael in that creepy-ass blue photo. Of course, Michael has the creepiest like blue,

you know, what do you, I don't know what you call that, incriminating photo. So Candace is like, oh my God, we're gonna blur out the person's name, right? Okay, well, this moment is a very good friend of mine and she works out an establishment where she has a friend and that friend works out a strip club, a witness Michael, asking random women to go back to the hotel with him. Oh God, I don't want to do this, I don't want to do this.

How does Candace always get this information? Didn't she get this information last time? I can't remember. Always. She's coming out about this information. What was the last time? I just can't remember. I was about the cropping. No, that was Monique with the cropping, wasn't it?

Oh, Monique had the footage, but she got rid of the footage or the footage erased itself for something. Something like that. Didn't have Candice have something against Ashley? I don't remember. Something about the have something against Ashley. I don't remember. Something about the husband cheating or something. I don't remember. So anyway, she's telling the camera man, we cannot show the person's name. Well, I dragged Michael through the mud for another season. Okay. Michael signed up for this. That lady didn't.

So the music's like super horror music it's like Nois it makes and she's she goes over to Giselle's and she's like I ran all the way over here So no you didn't stop it your wearing like stilettos. I know so she tells Giselle and Giselle's face is like Okay, yeah Love this sir. No for times the charm with Michael Dar. Yeah, make sure to read that out loud verbatim She's like I pray to God that this is all the lie. Yeah, this is an exaggeration. I mean actually's been gone for seven minutes She just left I'm like you can get a lot done in seven minutes. Okay. Yeah, no kidding We're men we know how much can be done in seven minutes. Yeah.

That's all I need. So Candice is like, well, I thought, well, maybe it's someone else and maybe it's not her husband at all and then the pit came through. La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la. All right, let's process that this. You went actually just became friends. So like, exactly, I's process this. You went actually just became friends on. So like, exactly, I cannot have this, but I can't let her not know.

Yeah, I can't. I just can't let her not know. So she's going to tell her tonight. She's going to do it tonight. So these women, they're all dressed up and they all hop in the car. And they all had to a crab shack. Better place to tell your friend that their husband is being promiscuous

than over a plate of crabs. Yeah, exactly. They are so dressed up, they should be in shorts and t-shirts. They should have not even regular t-shirts. T-shirts that they got from a gas station or whatever. Everyone is just staring at them for probably many, many different reasons, but one of them is definitely

because they are the way you dressed up for the crap check. So they all go sit by the water and they order crap and stuff. And Wendy announces that she's had a chance to talk to Ashley and she apologized. And Monique is like, yeah, you know, we're just all stressed and blah, blah, blah.

And so just I was like, so how you know, we're just all stressed and blah blah blah. And so just I was like, so how is not for Lee Zimamsa? Yeah, Monique's podcast is going well and she's going to have a live episode, which made me sad because I miss doing our live episodes. Yeah, I know. And we need to add some essential oils into our live shows. Seriously, we can do that. We can definitely do that. And then there are, by the way, they're also pouring some of the, which I thought was funny, given the place. Listen, hey, I wouldn't be opposed to bringing some of the, to a crab shack, but I just loved how to, they were dressed up like it was New Year's Eve.

And everyone else in there had like a visor on and like, you know, shirts, like, it's like beaver liquor shirts, you know. Yeah. So they order crabs and just sell sprays her feet. And Robin talks about, you know, you know, I just left for a little while and Juan was supposed to get the kids off to school and he just said, I'm stay home. I mean, you can't do one day. That is kind of crazy.

Like that's not good. So Monique, yeah, Monique's like, I know. I mean, you know, whenever I go out of town, I leave a whole staff for Chris to help him, you know, and sometimes it would just be nice if you surprised me with the staff. What, what world are you? Why are you getting Chris as staff? Like, he does not need a staff. He is a very capable person. He's like, the reason why you're having these issues is because you are spoiling your husband you're you're overdoing it and then just I was like um you just need to do that for yourself too. Get yourself a staff and it's like no I want to

surprise me. So Robin's like yeah well I feel her pain because being an athlete I mean they have people waiting on them hand in foot and going through what we did we did you know with all the money and stuff really changed one. But if they keep that money flowing, Chris might never change. Yeah, exactly. And then we get to the real important part of this episode. What is the yellow stuff in crabs? Are you supposed to eat it? Is it poop? Well, I got to the bottom of it, Ronnie. So, as she was like, well, I thought it was a mustard.

And they're like, no, it's a poop. It's poop. But she's like, but I thought it was a mustard. And they're like, no, it's a poop, it's poop. But she's like, I thought it was a natural mustard. Well, you're all wrong. Well, sort of wrong. Yeah, I didn't tell me we were supposed to eat it. Well, here's the thing. The mustard, the yellow thing, it actually is called mustard. But it's not mustard like French is mustard,

which is what Wendy's jumps you look like. I looked it up, and it's basically, you can eat it, you just shouldn't eat a lot of it because it's basically like the pancreas or whatever. It sort of absorbs a lot of the toxins, and so a lot of people find it delicious, but if you have too much of it, it's just like not advised. Lobsters have a similar thing called a tamaleo, okay, and you can eat the tam tamale, and a lot of people think it's a delicacy, but you just have to like don't OD because That's what filters out all the shit that these creatures eat, so okay, so it is kind of poop It's kind of poop, but it's like really it's a waste product. It's definitely a waste

It's definitely a waste product, but it's not full, they're all right and they're all wrong. All right, she was a close because she called it mustard, which she thought it was an actual, well, she was like, it's a natural mustard, which is funny because mustard is, I guess, theoretically natural because there are mustard seeds, and that's what cause, that's what you use to make mustard. But the way she said it made it sound like,

like crabs naturally produce grape and pot. So it's not a big topic. It's like, no, that's not quite right. So then it's like like crabs naturally produce grape and pot. It's not a big topic. It's like, no, that's not quite right. So then it's like horror music. They all eat the pot. And just, it all just goes, tastes good to me. Yeah. So, money tells you, yeah, well, we know you don't care

about presentation. We know. Yeah. So Karen has rape been missing you. She's like, my talk to him, you know, I think's at a point in his life where he's just appreciates every day. He's about two feet from the grave and I said I miss you and he said well it's a golf day. You know what I'm saying? He just loves that golf. He loves it so much more than me sometimes. That's just what being in love is about

I'm like basically he has worked hard for 40 years and he is ready to retire to Florida That was always his game plan and now you won't let him because you want to be famous on a reality show And you know what honestly that's okay. I actually support Karen on this. Yeah So when he's like, you know Karen isn't really a bad person She's just a phony and she's not honest how she feels about me. So then, Candace is like, so how's Michael doing Ashley? I totally do not want to talk about this. So I'm going to bring it up right now.

How is he? And she's like, oh, you know, he had a big project closing. So they had a really fun night. And they went out there at a boys night. He took him to MGM. Oh, it was probably so much fine. Yeah, you know, just like good healthy innocent fun and it can't just goes um Ashley and it's like to be continued. What would happen? So funny, love this show.

It is so good. If you're not watching Potomac, well then you're probably not listening to this. So why am I even gonna try to sell you on it? But, you know, if you know someone who's not watching and tell them to watch it, because it's so good. Yes, that brings us to the end of our Potomac Recap. Thanks for being here, everybody.

Go get your masks, go do your stuff. You know, take care of yourselves out there. Hope you had a great holiday and we will talk to you next time. Bye everyone. Bye. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney.

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