Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Doppelhüger

Episode Date: January 23, 2023

The Real Housewives of Potomac are in Mexico to accuse each other of cheating or being cheated on. Wendy and Mia call a truce, and things get even weirder when Karen accuses Juan of sleeping with her doppelgänger. For our premium bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/Find bonus episodes at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens and follow us on Instagram @watchwhatcrappens @ronniekaram @benmandelker Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, and welcome to watch what crap is the podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on the O Broves. I'm Ronnie. Guess who I'm with? His name is Ben. Ben, get over here. A little, you little, hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. How are you? Good. How are you? Doing quite, quite well. It's Monday, starting off a new week. Monday, Monday. Yeah, great to be here on this fun Monday, everybody.

Welcome to Real Housewives of Potomac Day. Hilarious episode of that. Craig. That nonsense coming up. Also, just a couple of announcements. Of course, our tour starts very, very soon. And like, I don't know. Next week?

Yes, next week. What the, I ain't ready for that shit. I'm not doing that. Yeah. No. It's next week. I am flying to you. I am coming over to your house.

Next week. No. No, not ready. Yeah. No, I was going to do. It really is happening. Oh, well, I guess that's happening. So, yeah, we start next week here in Austin, Texas, which is going to be actually amazing.

You know, the first time getting out of the house is a little scary. But I've been pacing myself by going to Home Goods More and not using Instacart. I've been, like, actually going to the store. And then I do things like this. Like, I'll be in the Lemon Isle and I'll see someone and I'll just like, nod be like hey I'm at the lemon place and you're at the lemon section too

hope you're great in the grocery store this is totally normal and then I walk on yeah I say it's great all the way just easing myself back into the world yeah like I saw somebody picking out I was making something with fennel

which like who does that I never do it so I'm going to do that so I well of course you do you're fancy I have a giant fennel in my fridge I do as well as well. Oh, my God, twins. So I was getting fennel and this lady came up and started fingering the fennel, okay? And the leaks. I was, I almost back, I almost grabbed my fennel that was bagged and smacked her in the back of the head with it. And so what the fuck? Get your fucking fingers off

the fennel fronds, ma'am. How dare you? This is still the time of COVID. I don't know who the fuck you people think you are. But then I calmed down and I was like, no, you're you're integrating back into the world. So I was like, hmm, don't you love like the moistness of that? Because, you know, they're sprayed with the little thing at the whole foods. And she just looked at me like, I was the crazy one. So I'm trying to be like, I went to the store.

She's like, I went to the store. And I was just trying to pick out some fennel. And some guys started talking about moist this and moist that. Well, whatever. I love the image of, I love the image of you like thawking her in the back of the head with a fennel. I mean, that's like giving me like, flashbacks of watching that movie The Grifters when someone attacks Angelica Houston with a bag of oranges. The bag of oranges so it doesn't bruise. Yeah. I wonder if the fennel would work the same way.

I will say that's a lot of work for very little vegetable that you get to use. So I did like fennel 19 way. I just used every part of it. And also guess what I like saying, fronds. Oh, hi, fennel fronds. My God, look, we're made, I've made new fronds. Hey guys, sorry to use you because we're fronds and all. I like sat there and talk to my, you guys, it's time for us to get back out of the house. Dennis Franzia. So sorry about your career post NYPD Blues, sir. I know, honestly.

I bought a giant fennel two weeks ago at the farmer's market. And now it's been languishing in my fridge. And I think I'm just going to make some stock this afternoon. And that's just going to be the last stop for that fennel. Because I can't bear it'll have it go to waste. So it'll just serve its purpose as part of a beautiful chicken stock. Well, later, maybe we'll record our bonus. And we'll talk food because I think we haven't talked food in a while, so we should.

But in the meantime, let us talk about this schedule. So we start next week in Austin, Texas at Emo's. It's like a rock joint. So, you know, it'll be really rocky. And then we're going to Dallas the next night. Then to Phoenix, Los Angeles on February 24th for the 2023 golden crappies at the Wilton Theater, the glamorous Wilton Theater. So many famous people are going to be there. We're super excited for that.

That's going to be one of our biggest shows, we hope, fingers crying. It has the potential to be if you guys come. So come, it's going to be great. And then we're going to be a joint effort. Yes. joint effort Hi film It's good be

But the joint effort is between us and you guys So Then off to Charlotte, Atlanta Denver, Salt Lake City Seattle, San Francisco, Toronto, Philadelphia, New York City Washington, D.C., San Diego, St. Paul, Chicago,

Columbus, Boston, and Massachusetts, Connecticut Connecticut at the Foxwoods casino for the big finale in June. That's going to be great. What if we have a watch for our crappins brunch the next day? I mean, we're all going to be saying at the casino, right? Wouldn't that be wild? I don't know.

I sure would. That's a lot of commitment, though. But then again, I also don't want to create an event that we have to be committed to waking up for. So I'm going to walk that one back. Some things cannot be unsaid, Ben. So we're super excited for that. Thanks to everyone who supports us and come to those. Can't wait to get back out on the road.

Also, patreon.com is where you find our bonus videos and our bonus episodes, which are out all the time. And Dwell, Hello has returned. That is our Wendry plus subscription-only podcast. That is what we do here at Crappins, but it's about house hunters. because that's the silliest shit on TV, and we love tomorrow. It really is. So that's twice a month. The next episode comes out in a couple of days.

So all the announcements on my end are done, Ben. How do you feel? You know, I feel great. You know, a few notes. I would have liked if you had incorporated a few more musical references during that. But otherwise, I think it really went off without a hitch. Good job. Well, thank you.

I'm touched. So let's get on with this. I mean, real housewives of Potomac, am I wrong? I'm going? I know, another wacky episode. A lot of iguana going on this week. The iguana. I like that they finally let that iguana just eat something and like smirk at the camera.

I was like, yeah, nailed that scene. Yeah, that iguana was just like, that was like the Harvey Firestein of iguanas too. You could just really tell like, okay, I'm going to stay here. Oh, I actually do. Oh, no, I was going to say I do actually have something I was like very excited to announce. This is actually nothing to do with Potomac, but that's to do with Real House House of Miami. That I got very enthusiastic voice memos from the two gays who crashed Marisol's dinner. And they were like, Ben and Ronnie, we just want to say, you guys are hilarious.

We hadn't heard of you guys before, but we're so proud of everything you've done. And we were there by accident. It was not planned. So there's the skinny on those two old guys who we love. I don't know why I felt like bringing this up right now. I think the caffeine just kicked in. And I think somehow the talk of the iguanas made me think of Miami. And it took me there.

Yeah. But they were so lovely. Real please. I love them. I love them. I love them. I'm sure they're going to fucking love it. No.

It led to Miami. It led to Miami, which then led to them. I love them. They're like my favorite. Like they're, I, they need to start a podcast themselves, you know? But that was the update on that.

Yeah, that's pretty cool. Okay, so here we are with Real Housewives of Potomac in Mexico, Tulum, to be exact, because it's Bravo, and that's how we care about right now. The only part of Mexico we care about on Bravo is Toulomb Batch. Yeah. Toulm's having its moment. Yeah. Yeah.

And, again, try and do some White Lotus stuff, like slow-moving waves with, like, mysterious music, and it's day three in Mexico. and people are doing things like FaceTiming in the lobby or Ash is doing her TikTok dances in the lobby. And Candace is spritzing herself. I guess it's like incredibly hot in Tulum right now because I guess they filmed this in the summer or late spring. So it's boiling hot. They're all kind of schvitzing a little bit. Yeah.

So they're all doing their, you know, like normal housewivesy thing. But it's with that weird Survivor, Hawaiian White Lotus music that's all mixed together. And so there's a lot of mystery mixed into all of this, but really nothing mysterious is going on. And so Mia is... Truly. Mia and Giselle go to the bar together by the fool. And Mia goes, can I do a mimota? And he was like, a mimosa?

She goes, yeah, okay. Momota, girl, where'd you even hear that? Where do you hear that the Spanish word from Mamosa just added a tea? I know. She's a real ding-dong. And then Giselle is like, well, Mexico is not really agreeing with me. My stomach is in bubble guts, and we all know what that means. And then we see a montage of Giselle eating everything in sight in Mexico.

They're like, I'll have a little bit of that, da, and I'll have some more that, da, more sauce on that, please. Yeah, just literally eating everything in sight. She just starts a fight with people and then leans back and just eats, you know. I will say, I was just in Mexico, you know, and this way that, this is just such an American thing to do. She goes to the bar and she's like, do you have bottled water or sodas in a bottle or can? And it's just so, first of all, that's smart, right? But it's just the way she says it is so accusatory.

It's like, and I found my family doing that, or I would hear people doing that at the bar like, Um, only water, uh, only bottled water, please. And one of the people that worked there, my sister was like, you're not, you guys don't drink your water to you. Like, isn't that bad? I was so mortified. And he's like, you know, he explained to her. No, it's not that it's bad. It's that it had, our bodies are different to you, different, um, you know, biology in the water. And so when you go to a different country, we're accustomed to this water. But when we go to America, we get sick to you. And she went, really? I've never heard of that. Oh, I love that. People getting sick on American water. I've never heard of that. Oh, good for the bartender.

Even if he's lying, I just love that he flipped it like that. I love it too because it's just so American to be like, Ew, your water. It's like, okay, then stay home. You know what I mean? Yeah, it is very American. Meanwhile, you have a bureaucratic, political shit show in Flint, Michigan, and people are getting poisoned by the water up there,

and then we're going to other countries being like, oh my God, your water. You're water. You guys need to work on that, okay? Yeah. Stupid us. Stupid us. Yeah, seriously, though, so rude. So, um, she gets, uh, she's got bubble guts.

And so the editors keep inserting sounds like, I know they are so rude. Even the sounds have enunciation like, Jiselle, they're like, we gotta poop. Blu-a. So,

so then they start to, they start to gossip. And Giselle's saying, she's like, the papers are crazy in the streets here, Rob, me. And Giselle says, she does not like how Karen made up

all sorts of lies about Cherise. And she bases, like, everything that Karen said about, about Cherise was not true at all. And Mia's like, oh, you think that there's jealousy of some sort theme? And she was like, yes, ah, I feel that.

Like, of course there's jealousy because they keep on, they keep on prodding Karen by saying that Cherise is the real Grand Dame of Potomac. Of course, that's going to make Karen go nuts. And Mia's like, but jealousy at 90, 95? And just I was like, yes, people can still be jealous at 72. I mean, he's like, really? She goes, yeah. Listen, let's be clear because Wendy is jealous of you.

I thought that time was past, and you guys were going to have a conversation last night, but that didn't happen. What is Wendy jealous up with Mia? I would love to know what Wendy is jealous up of Mia. Nothing. I really don't know. Justelle's just like half-hearted about it, too. She's not even making that much effort. She's just like, bottled water, please.

Don't forget that you hate Wendy. and Karen is a liar. Got it? Yeah, and Mia falls for it all the time. So, and then Giselle's like, so you and Jacqueline are really not good, I love,

they're, Giselle is trying to make the, the Jacqueline and Mia thing more central than it is, but I also, there's part of me that thinks that she's just fascinated

by this weird, this weird storyline on the side. Like, why are you guys fighting so much? Shouldn't she just be so happy, that she's here as a friend of? She just seems like the writer on soap dish, you know? Like you see those scenes of the writer like, okay, so don't forget, you're fighting with Jacqueline, you're upset, you know, Wendy's jealous of you. Old ladies fighting.

I want old ladies fighting and accusations, okay? That's what I want. I think she's just like- She's the Robert Downey Jr. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's actually a fair point. She's like, I want to keep everyone on task here.

Clear storylines. A story, B, story, C story. Yeah, nothing that involves her, of course. She just wants to, like, sit there and eat, you know? And she doesn't even give a shit that she has bubble gut. She is going to eat a loaf of bread that she pulls out of her purse to help her with the bubble gut. She goes, did you just sing Brad out of your purse?

And she's like, yes, bubble gut. She goes, okay, I've never seen that. You took Bram out of your... Shut up me, that's bubble gut. Now, I took a loaf of wonder bread out of my hoo-ha back at the Steakhouse Entertainment Center. That was a different thing. There was music playing at least.

Bubble gut. Bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble gut. Bubble gut. Bubble, bubble, bubble, bubble. So they decided they're going to throw Robin this bachelorette party. So it should be thrilling. it's going to be at like Cici's pizza shop or something

Pizza buffet I think it should be just in a mattress store and they can just all lay down you know don't do what you want to do for someone else's bachelor party do what they want to do you know if I ever get married and I invite anybody

anywhere it's going to be to have separate rooms at a hotel where we'll meet for breakfast and that's it The rest of the time we're going to lay down. Your bachelor's up. Your bachelor's rep party is going to be at like a color of me, mine. We'll be just like painting pottery. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm serious. I feel like that's really what it would be. Yeah. Maybe we want to get married. Or a gun range. I don't know, something that'll just surprise me.

Just so I can see you shoot a gun. No one wants to see that. Yes, we do. I sure do. I want to see me shoot a gun. I'd be freaked out. I want to see all our little friends shooting guns. guns, you know. I don't want to shoot a gun. I'm not about gun culture. I really am not.

Well, I'm not either, but that's why it sounds fun. Get a bunch of people who aren't into guns who are extremely anti-gun, and they'd be like, you have to come because it's my bachelor party, and then I'll take pictures of you all and post them all and tag you and stuff. Oh, God, I'm getting married. What about a super soaker? What about a super soaker? Can I do that? I have been talking about water guns a lot lately, but usually in regards to disciplining children and animals. When people talk about their kids being, like knocking things over, being crazy. I'm like, get a water gun. I'm glad you kept that in my mind because I'm not going to Whole Foods without one.

Fucking Fennell frond, molester. Get water gun. No, you don't need to. No, you're at the, you're at the fennel state. You're not going to thwax someone with a fennel, and you're going to wind up on Judge Judy. So then we go to Wendy, you know, the music, like, really weird. And then Candice doing her makeup.

And then Robin's big scene calling her, quote, assistant slash friend, unquote, to see if she's found anything in Jamaica for her wedding. And the lady's like, well, I found a planner to do it and take care of it, I think. And she's like, well, you know it's just a ceremony, right? You know it's just a ceremony? Robin, you're going to stand on the beach, okay? And we all know it. Like, Karen's full of shit in a lot of ways, but we know what you're up to. Just go stand on the beach.

Don't make someone plan it. It's like the saddest thing to have on your resume of all time. Nothing has to be planned. Everyone just get into their clothes. Tell the efficient where to stand and then show up. And it'll be, like you said, on a beach. Wherever you're staying, it'll be on that beach. Yeah.

So it'll be in like the pool. You know what I mean? That's just fucking Robin. Robin's too lazy to actually walk down to the beach. She's just going to have straight up pool wedding, like on Real House House House of Salt Lake City, where they just go to the hotel pool and she just stands on the first step. Heck, she's just going to do it with the Rio Storae at the airport. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial.

So Karen's like, oh, hello, Ashley. Because they are, she's sitting by the pool and Ashley comes up. And Ashley's like, Hey, everybody, TikTok, and say it all, sorry everybody. Look at you just trying to relax and enjoy your day. So Karen's in her White Lotus cabana, being very White Lotus-y,

because that's how they all sit on White Lotus. They all sort of sit in cabanas in a very, in a way that's like not really natural, it's just the way that HBO told them to sit. It's a weird conspiracy theory. And I think I'm going to conclude it right now. But Karen's sitting there and she's like, so, are you ready for shopping? And I'm like, oh, yeah, I love to loom.

Well, I'm excited. We need it. Let me tell you something about these eyelashes in Mexico. No. What the hell? Am I right? Yeah, I guess. Her eyelash really is just going all over.

It's like in a different place every time you look at her in the scene. So Karen's like, well, Ashley, I think all the hair is going in different directions. Actually, hold on. Do you have a fly on your nose? No, actually. Did you notice her face? Have you noticed her face yet? But she keeps doing that with her face.

Oh, every single time. It's so funny. She's always doing it. And I don't know what her deal is if she finally figured out a way to order Botox from China or something. Like, it just get a constant stream. Because, you know, you can only get it three months. And if you want more, you better find your stream. And I think she, like, found it on Alibaba or something,

because her eyes are now crossed. Have you noticed that her eyes are crossed now? When did that happen? Who hit Karen on the back for it? Well, you know, when you go south of the equator, your eyes can cross sometimes. It's like you have toilets change directions. I think that's just a damn mess. It's like when a snack machine is, you know, you pay your dollar and then the little ho-hoes are about to come out and they get stuck.

And you have to like shake the machine just to get that ho-ho. I think that's what her face is doing. It's just like that machine shake. Like, hello, ash it. Like, just to get those eyes uncrossed and the eyelash to stick, you know? Yeah. I feel like her lips are always doing push-ups, you know? All right.

Two, three, four, five. Yeah. So, she's like, well, Ashley, you've done such a good job. It was good for me until last night or dinner. And Ashley's like, okay. Yeah, well, I didn't understand Robin's personal. attack on me. It was very personal.

The way that she attacked me. I don't understand her calling me fake the way she did it. Renamish. Hateful attack. So Ashley starts to say how, you know, Cherise was supportive of Robin when she was at her lowest, and she's an integral part of Robin's journey, which she basically is heading towards the fact that, you know,

she probably is mad at you because you were coming for Cherise. But kind of like, no, no, no, I don't want to talk about Cherie's. I don't want to talk about Cherie. No, no, I don't want it. It's like, 45, 46, 47. Karen, you can stop doing push up with your lips, though. No, I can't.

My lips disoved me, and is their punishment. 47, 48. Do you never see the karate kid? 49. Wax on? Wax off. Wow, you're doing that with your nose. You're like a Mr. Miyagi of noses.

Wax on? Oh, I really like that go-tie. You have. That's actually just my eyelash has fallen down again. Excuse me one second. So basically she's saying this isn't about Cherise. I'm sick of talking about fucking Cherise. And Ashley's like, no, but it is about Cherise.

It's inherent. And Kieran is like, no. Listen, you can be friends with somebody. That's fine. But you don't attack my reputation. And calling me, Frank. God damn it, this eyeless. Is it on my temple?

I feel it on my tongue. It's on your ear. You know what's amazing is actually blinking, which is crazy. But I love that she's going off about being called fake while her eyelashes are falling off. Her wig is crazy, and her eyes are crossed from Botox. Karen, I know this may sound strange, but it sort of looks like you have a game of Pac-Man going on on your face with your eye lashes moving around so much. It's like the little ghosts. Um, so she's like, well, I'll tell you what's fake.

This wedding is fake. And Ashley's like, uh-oh. Because Ashley realizes she's just being pulled into mess, you know. Yeah, well, she should have realized, she should have realized at the moment that Karen said, you're doing a wonderful job posting. As soon as Karen says something like that, that means she's going to lure you into some messiness. Yeah, because you've learned by this age how to start some mess, right? It's like human resources.

You always start with a compliment. Like, Ronnie, you are always so close to being on time. And we almost appreciate that. So you're fired. You are fired. Like, you have to start with kind of a compliment. Sort of like, oh, like, a good example would be like, you know what? I have to say, your hair is really looking great today.

Now get your fucking fingers out of my fennel. Yes. Yeah, it would be something like that. God, I can't wait to reach the top of that. mountain of maturity. So she is really pissed, and now she's going to start some real mess with Robin, and she's like, this wedding's fake, and oh, you don't want your mother there? Well, we can't be there, and it's in Jamaica with no witnesses.

I find a suspect. And there's so much I know about Robin Dixon, and she knows I know, including Juan Dixon's of a woman, woman, woman, woman. I'm sorry, I really wanted to say that in the cave, so I'm just echoing it so the entire pool will hear. I was really hoping that this cabana would have better acoustics to create an echo effect, but unfortunately, it's open walls really real on that. Anyway, I'm a woman, woman, woman, woman.

So then we go to commercial. When we come back, the iguana's there like, okay, tell me more. I'm listening now. So basically we see footage of, what, not footage, but they do a thing on screen that says, Grand and Dom Special Potomac Unit. So it's like Law and Order. as like bum bum and uh she starts to scribe Karen starts describing uh what she's heard and on screen they make this uh drawing of like a pseudo Karen that is a quote unquote Karen's

Huger's artist rendering it's so ridiculous it's so good it's like a courtroom sketch it's kind of got poofy Karen hair um she's like yes well it's a very natural mature woman with one eye who's very low and one eye that's very high, like if you put Reba McIntyre in a blender, then tried to bake a face back together in a muffin tin. She lives in Montgomery County, and they always meet in Georgetown, and that's just the tip of the iceberg. As in Georgetown is actually on an iceberg. I don't know if you knew that. People don't realize that. It's where the wed salad was invented. So, anyway, Ashley, I know all about this. And Ashley's like, so you mean like a girlfriend? Yes. that looks like me, me, me, me. And then there's a song that plays.

Was there a meaning to this song that I had missed or forgotten? Because we hear someone go, Love is a trick of the night, or something like that. Do we know what that song was? Is that a reference to something? I didn't know, but I thought it was so funny. And so Ashley's like, So she looks like you as in, she has blonde hair?

She's blonde. Looks like you as in... She has an eyelash on her... On her right earloaf? No, Dan. Oh, get back here, little rascal. Does she have a Charlie Chaplin mustache, but it's actually her eyebrow? No!

So Ashley is coughing and talking now. She's like, Why don't you just say what Juan was spotted with the blonde women? You have to say she looks like you? Karen's feeling herself there a little. Clearly. Well, all I'm going to say is there's a ravishing, stunning woman that people can't help but look at. And, you know, just so happens, she looks just like me.

What could I say? I fear sad for the woman, not because she's cursed with the disease of gautiosity that I do have running through my veins. But everyone comes up to her and thanks her for fixing Surrey County Wi-Fi. And she has no idea why. Poor woman! Poor woman! So much responsibility on her shoulders, and she doesn't know why. If only people realize they weren't talking to the grand arm.

Unfortunate. So Karen basically says, she says that Robin knows. And Ashley's like, well, you think there's an arrangement? And Karen's like, Ashley, absolutely. Just how I have an arrangement for these eyelashes to stay on my eyes. God damn it, where are they now? On your elbow? Oh, God.

And then her face does what pinball machines do. when you lose the ball, and they just all, every little moving part just kind of twitches at one time. Like, and that's her punctuation on the scene. She's like, I'm now done. So then she's like, girl, you know, I don't know about this because I know how Robin feels about other women's names being brought up in her relation to her husband or Juan or whatever.

She says, really how does she feel? She goes, girl, she came up to me, restaurant with your fingers in my face and then we see the clip of robin and giselle going to that kangaroo hamburger place and like getting getting your fingers all on her face this is my finger in your face so um so you know as she tells us that considering that wan has had infidelity in its past you know you're you're you're not like surprise not like oh my god no way like it's it's believable and so she wants to believe as she wants to believe it's true but That's not true, but like she's sort of like, oh, maybe it is.

So then Karen, they walk off. There's no man on earth that you can say, oh, my God, I heard he's cheating, that people wouldn't have a doubt. We're man. Right. You know? But like with Juan, it's even more conceivable. So Karen's like, well, I'm going to go talk to her, talk to her, woman to woman, eyelash to eyelash. And I want to have that woman, that moment with her.

So please, whatever you do, don't say anything. Look, there's the rest of the cast. Go up there and talk to them. Not about this. Not about this whatsoever. I'm not sending you as a messenger because I'm telling you don't talk about it. So then we see, which this is a weird move housewives-wise, right? Because when you tell Ashley something about her friend, she knows that Ashley and Robin are like teamed up.

So she knows Ashley's going to tell her. So why would she do that? Is she trying to get Robin riled up? So Robin will look crazy by being riled up. Yes, yes, yes. Yes. She told Ashley specifically because she knows Ash's going to go spread the gossip around. That's why.

And that's why Karen says, no, I want to say it woman to woman. So she covers her bases. Karen knew exactly what she was doing. It's just a weird move because I would think that you would want to spring it on Robin in front of everybody. Instead of giving Robin a chance to like pull together a defense, you know? no Karen Karen is she is she presents like she cares about a sisterhood and that they are all in it together and they're not about those moments I think that's what she presents as or she likes to think of herself as that like she's not someone who's going to go up to you and and say I heard that she's not going to be gossipy she's going to be above it all and yet she just is going to have someone else to it yeah good call okay so then let's See, we go to the bar where the ladies are starting to gather, right? And Jacqueline is talking to Cherise.

Jacqueline goes, yeah, you know what? I just hate being so nice. And then it just moves past them. The camera moves past them to Ashley, Wendy, and Candace chatting. Yeah. And Ashley is saying, okay, well, guys, so I was talking to Karen, and she asked me not to share with the group, which I'll respect by saying I'll respect, but not through my actions. And it's not about me. And what she said, it's not about either of you guys. But I will not say.

So Candice is like, it's about Mia? No. Then is it about Cherise? No. And Wendy's like, Giselle, Wobbin. Candice is like, that's it. It's Robin. So Charisse, of course, is right there listening to this whole thing. And Ashley's like, well, she feels like Robin three.

threatened her integrity, so she came out of field with something else, but I can't say what it is. She doesn't like French fries? No. She wants to go on a trip to Indonesia one time? No. One is cheating on her. Oh my God, that's it.

So, yeah, Candace is like, this girl lives to tell other people's business. I mean, as she can hold a secret for as long as she can hold pee in her damn bladder. And that starts being like, I gotta go to the bathroom. So now they're getting

on the bus to go do their day activity. And Ashley's like, if anyone's hungry, there's cassidias on the bus. And she feels like, I just spent too much quality time on the toilet.

I'm fine. And I'm not eating a bus cassidia. That sounds deplorable. I was like, okay, listen, you started it with the water and the soda in a bottle

or a can. And now you're going to dis a Casidia. Mexican president, are you fucking busy? Get over here and kick this woman out of the country. How dare you? He might actually be busy. Maybe.

But not too busy. Not busy enough to kick Giselle out of the country. Let's be honest. Let's be honest. She's ruined your country. I mean, where is the respect? None. Well, to be fair, yeah, I think she would do that with any country, including our own.

So Robin's like, Hey, guys, I have a game with shady questions. It's on my app. She's like on her phone. She's like, who is the most likely to speak to a manager at a restaurant? And so everyone's like, Jazelle. What, uh? Why would you say that?

Just because I complained about bus cassidias and bottled water. And then they just start kind of talking to each other. Ashley's like, can I pee in a cop? And if I do, do I have to pour it out the window? Like, oh my God, just pee, Ashley. And Robin is still trying with her game. She's like, Who spends the most time watching porn? One!

And Karen's like, Me, don't make fun of me. I think porn is absolutely beautiful. What art work, hmm? Yes. I mean, I don't know if you know this, but Terence Malick has done many beautiful pornographies. Wonderful lighting.

Jacqueline's like, well, what's your flavor? I like interracial. And Ashley says that she likes, likes ebony homemade threesomes and then meanwhile charis is talking about Mia's lift she's like did you get a lift she goes on my bullies no a white to the airport what the fuck do you think of me forth your boobs they're up under your chin how do you do I want to do that oh you want to lift in I have left and now they're really high now when I wake up I just boom oh Yeah, I want my boobs to be up more. I would like that a lot. It's just so funny because everything about Shasha, like her whole essence,

even her whole look is of something that used to be rectangle that has like melted into a triangle. You know? So like I just don't, I don't know. The idea of getting a boob lift, I feel like it's just, I just lean into the triangle. Does that make sense? No, but I love it because all the images of my head right now are bushing together, and it's really fun.

It's like, I don't want to see a triangle with a boob with like a lift. Just be like, it'll look strange. So actually, those might look pretty good. Now I'm thinking about boob shapes. I wish it could be like that. I hope in the future it goes beyond because everybody's, like implants are so passe in the future that people just like start putting in shapes. You know, like, I want to have an asterisk on the left side and an exclamation point on the other side. I want my left one to look like a Jack Russell, but facing left, but then my right one to look like a bone.

So it's like the Jack Russell doesn't even see the bone because it's so stupid. Your rub lifts will just tell a story, tell a narrative. Yeah, yeah. You know, I take it back. I think if Shasha wants to get a lift, she should get a. a lift and she should she should live in her truth and be very happy yeah i'm going to get a lift my god i can't wait i'm going to save up for a lift except i don't want to actually get cut i'm just going to hire a really short guy to walk in front of me and just hold my boobs up i feel like that's

really displaying power you know i like that i'm not even going to a doctor i hired a lift assistant someone just to hold everything in the right place imagine trying to finger a fennel bulb when that guy's around. Oh yeah. It'll take care of it for you. You won't have to lift a finger. He'll be the one tossing the fennel at people at the pigly wiggly. The pigly wiggly. Where do you think I live? I don't know. South. H.E.B. Is that where you go? I said the whole foods. You've turned the whole foods into the pigly wiggily. I wasn't really listening to the details of the which supermarket because I was already drawn. on in by the lady fingering fentilfrons.

It's the lady with the asterisk boobs. It's time for a commercial. It's time for a crappence commercial. Okay, so let's see. So then they arrive at a dress store, you know, for whatever reason is a really long way away. I guess it's one that they could shoot in. And so they just kind of do, you know, some light shows.

shopping. And there's a scene where it looks like Robin's card is getting to climb, which is hilarious. Because she's just, yeah. I told my bank I was in Mexico. And it's a long pause. The lady goes, okay, it worked. And she's like, oh. Who's her Costco card? And then Shasha, we get some of Shasha's British accent, which is one of my favorite Shasha is because she puts on a hatch. She goes, I need this hat in my life. Not quite. Because it's not the right size. So she British is out of it. Also, just not a good choice for a hat. I mean, it was like a cowboy hat, but right in the front and center, it was an apple or something. I think it was like an apple or a pumpkin. I don't remember that part, but I believe you.

It just looks like you're wearing like a fucking apple. I mean, why do people keep shooting arrows at me? And I feel like Candace was wearing 3D glasses. I felt like she was ready to see the avatar. Yeah, Candice is very, you know, Candice. Candice's self-confidence is really something that we could all learn from. I'll just say that. Candace is always in like a music video and about to do an interview and interview magazine.

Plus her heart, you know, that's how you should live. No, she's doing the right thing. My therapist told me that he has a client who is very famous, and I don't know who it is, and it kills me not to know who it is. And he said that when she was like on the up and up, her manager told her that she has to wear sunglasses at all times because she came into the therapy appointment with sunglasses on and he's like, why do you have your sunglasses on? And she said that her manager told her she has to wear sunglasses at all time. So that way she is viewed as

more of a star and that it actually helped and worked. So that's so maybe that's what Candace is doing. And I know honestly, I might start doing that just because, you know, Actually, I will never do that because I'm so bad with sunglasses and doors, I definitely start walking into walls and stuff. Please do it because I'll do things like pat your head or like put a bib, you know, because I feel like when you're in your 40s, it's just different. You know, it doesn't come off the same way. By the way, I'm just going to assume his client is Deborah messing. I'm just going to put that out there. Is it bad?

Am I like, should I not be talking about like, I think this is a generally docile breach. He talked about it. So you can talk about it. If anyone's going to get sued, it's him, not you, you know. That's how you learn your lesson. Doctor glasses. Sorry, Deborah Messing. Sorry for outing your strategy.

Oh, God, that's so funny. So I think Candace is on the on that path. Maybe, wait, maybe his client is Candace. Maybe. Yeah, you never know. She's like, my manager told me to wear crazy glasses and insane hats that make no sense, you know. Because she's wearing one of those like Gilligan gardening hat. It's like half a Gilligan hat, but half like an old lady gardening.

But it's like almost a cone, you know, when they like take the gardening hat too far and it goes almost up in a cone. It's cray cray. They take it too far. Ma'am, that gardening hat has gone way too far. Hey, Mr. Roberts, here is my gardening hat for you. No, you took this garden cat too far. You are fired. Someone's going to want this.

So Ashley and Robin end up going to a store alone, of course. And Ashley's like, I am so glad we have a moment because Karen took me to the pool and her voice and she voiced her concerns about how she was feelings because you detect her integrity. And then she said something, but she asked me not to say, I won't see it. Don't make me say it. I will not say it. Well, I guess it's going to come out anyway, so, okay, it's about Juan.

So, okay, so what she said is that Juan has a girlfriend and looks like Karen. And Robin just starts to laugh. But she laughs in that way where she shows all of her teeth, and she's laughing too hard, too long. She's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, okay. Ah, ha, ha. Ha, ha. I mean, he's been dating her for years, and that he's in Georgetown with her all the time, and they walk the streets holding hands, and that she thinks that you know about it.

Rob was like, I have never. Hold on, because we're in a different country. I want to laugh in Spanish. I've never heard this, but has she seen this with her eyes? And now she's like, well, she says people have seen. seen it and told her about her. Oh, okay. Well, I'll just ask about it right now.

If Karen wants to go there and talk about fake and doing shit, we can go there. I'm going to call him, and I'm sure he'll be totally chill about this right now. So, Juan's like, what's up? And she's like, I'm here with Ashley and Karen came to her and said that you have a girlfriend with blonde hair, and you walk to streets of Georgetown. And you said, and you said she's old like Karen, right? And Juan's like, Robin, I'm about to hang up. This is why I don't do this shit. Whatever the fuck Karen is saying, like, Karen doesn't know me.

I don't go, I don't even go out. Cut that bullshit out. I'm not playing. I'm going to cut her all out. I'm going to, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He just starts, like, screaming. Yeah, it's like, I'm going to cost all these women out. I'm sick of this bullshit.

This is ridiculous. I'm not going to play with, like, he's having a fit on the phone. And he goes, I love you. I appreciate you. Don't let these women get to. Goodbye. And hangs up. And Robin's like, well, what am I supposed to do?

Sit down and cry. She shouldn't have opened. kind of worms, she really shouldn't. You know why? Ha ha ha. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! It's clear that Karen! It's How do you not know after all these years that that was bullshit? And you're in total asshole to Karen. I don't even care that Karen did any of this stuff. I think it's hilarious. Why shouldn't she? You're the one ganging up on her with no reason with Cherise, you know? Yeah.

So they now, I'll go to a restaurant and then a bird sees them and just like runs far away. The bird doesn't even try to fly away. The bird is just like, I got, I got to get out of here. I don't know what to do. I'm panicking. I don't even remember how to fly. How do I fly? Oh, my God.

How do I fly? I don't even know how to fly anymore. How do I get out of here? What am I supposed to do? Huh? Huh? And then Candace squeals and she goes, I don't do birds. It's like, what are you acting like you're the one who initiated this breakup?

That bird just ran the hell away from me, guys. I thought that was Karen who didn't do the birds. Because you're not dirty birds. I don't need a dirty birds. Who knows? So they all sit at a table and Mia is stuck sitting next to Jacqueline against her wishes. And Rob was like, I'm excited. Because Ashley and Karen have gone off to go to the bathroom.

So Robin's like bracing for an encounter. So she's like, I'm excited. It's like, I don't know why you're excited, but I'm excited too. That should be fine. So I make reservations. And Candace is like, well, I talked to Ashley earlier. And she told me that her and Karen talked and then Karen dropped a bomb. And Robin's like, yeah, well, she's full of shit.

And then it cuts to the toilet flushing. And Robin's like, sure. Did you do all of the, they got a pee stuff? already? I think so that they went and peed and then Karen is having trouble making it down all the steps. And then Ashley goes, watch out. She goes, I'm trying to watch out. Just no, watch out for the lizard up your cooch.

And Wendy goes, not lizard up your cooch. And she goes, yeah, they like caves. I forgot about that. So silly, but I love. Lizard cave. So then Robin's like, well, it should be no surprise to Karen that I think she's faking a bullshitter. As I spent the entire dinner last night, I'm faking a bullshitter. And Karen returns and just sits there.

And Robin continues that Karen is mean girls. She's always had mean girl shit coming out of her mouth. And she's always felt that way. And Karen comes in all cross-eyed and, you know, eyebrow at the, eyelash at the tip of her nose. And she's like, I respect a woman who stands up for her friends. but you went deeper robin. Sorry, my face got a tilt. You attacked my integrity,

and that's what you're not going to do, is attack my integrity. I didn't attack your integrity. I just called it like I see it. Well, I am not mean-spirited, and I have known you for years, and I've stood by you, but you take a dig every chance you can't,

and you took my friends in this circle, and you told them to look out and be careful she's fake. I am not fake. Sorry, my eyelash got into my mouth. What is fake is this wedding? And she goes, and you know why? Because we all know about the blonde woman in Georgetown. It's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

And Karen just says, sarin does the pushups with her left. She's like, Maw. Robin's like, I never heard of it. And then Wendy goes, I actually heard it. Candice, like, I heard it too. Yeah, I mean, it's like, I heard it. And Candice is like, listen, that's what the blogs are saying, but, I mean, I have questions because Georgetown is down the street.

Like, if you're going to walk with a hoe, walk with the hoe in so far away. Like, why are you doing right here? Oh, is that what she said? I think she said Spain. She said, why would you go walking in Georgetown? You could walk with a hoe, walk with the hoe in Spain. I think she said Spain. Yeah, that's what I wrote too, but I was like, maybe it's like a,

neighborhood that we just don't know and then people are going to be like dumb dumb that's actually a neighborhood called cane huh kane i know that people a cane loyalists someone on next door they've been calling our neighborhood span and people on here expect factual accuracy you know so karen is like well people come to me all the time because they see you stabbing me in the back I can't even go into a safe way anymore without someone coming up to me about it. And she just goes, people, air quotes, people. So then Karen goes, well, you know, it's your choice to do this cloak and dagger shit at your wedding, which, by the way, I don't think it's cloak and dagger shit. It's just like standing on a beach for 10 minutes.

But as long as you register it, I'll eat my words. And Giselle's like, she doesn't have to do that for you. Why would you do that for you? Why? I'm like, wait a second. So you're, Giselle's almost arguing that Robin shouldn't even register her wedding out of spite for Karen. Right. She's like, she has nothing to prove to you. But Karen is saying the only reason you're doing this is to prove to us that you're going to get married when everybody knows you're not really together. Why are you trying to fake it? You know? And listen, this is the oldest question on this show. This has been going on for, what's the, is this seven? Season Seven? Yeah, I think season seven. It's like the same storyline every year. So then Jazeel, yeah, Jazeel says that. And then Karen's like, Jazeel, you're not even near

an altar. No one's talking to you. Pipe it down, single Sally, all right? Yeah. So Robbins like, I'm not doing this for any of you guys. Well, I would before that you just don't even tell us. And so Robin's like, well, don't fucking ask me because I would have.

Who keeps asking me? And we see a montage of Karen from year after year episode from episode. Be like, so what's the new of the wedding, Robin? What's the other wedding? And she's like, well, I wish you wouldn't tell me. Why are you telling me anything about the wedding? I never even cared.

Yeah, she's like, yeah. I mean, listen, you got engaged three years ago, and then, you know, then you're going to do it in the Caribbean. Now you're going to do it somewhere with no suspects. Like, what are you going to, what are you doing? And she says, no suspects, ah, who cares? Who cares? And Robin's screaming, who cares? Who even cares if I get married? And Karen goes, well, it's suspect. And I'm sharing my suspectry. Well, what you should care about, Karen, is your fake ass talking about how you love, how you love you are with your husband, but people sending us actual pictures of you with a man in redskins care and a Vegas bar.

And then they're, now they're like, you guys want to take shots? So they start for each other's shots right in the middle of this fight, which is so funny. This guy tracks me up. So they're like half taking shots while they're fighting. And Karen's like, well, actually, I was with several people in Redskins attire at a bar. Yeah. So Robin has like a photo. And so she's showing everyone.

And he comes like, can I see? I'd like to see that, please. She's like, no. So she's not letting Karen see this photo. and she's sending it all around. And she's like, this looks like someone you know, right? Hey, Gachel, this is like someone you know.

That man has potentially blue eyes? Yes. And they all kind of are like, oh, is that like our driver? Is that like the driver that we've seen or her driver with blue eyes? You know? And Karen just like...

It's also a storyline from a million years ago that she's fucking blue eyes, her driver, right? And so she's like, let me see her, let me see it. And I'm like, no, we won't show you. So she's... She just sits there like cross. outside and taking shots.

They're so casual, you know. I love this cast. Well, she's trying to, like, play it off. Like, she starts, she starts giggling a little bit, like, I want to see. I want to see. It's, like, fun. I want to see. Like, she's trying any sort of tactic to be able to see it, changing her tone and everything.

And then they start playing. Yeah. As they start passing around the phone. Classic. No. So Mia's like. Karen, this looks like your ass. And Robin tells us,

somebody sent this picture, Giselle about six months ago. And of course, Giselle instantly shared it with me. And I'm like, yeah, that's Karen. That's her wig. That's her back fat. That's her ashy, crusty feet.

And Karen's like, oh, let me confess my sin, and she says, oh, you did cheat. And she's like, Jel, no one's speaking to you. What does she call her? Thou, thou without a man. No one is speaking to you, thou, without a man. How stupid is any of our men to be walking around Georgetown hand at hand with another woman? Well, I would normally ask the same question, but when it comes to husbands on the Real Housewives shows, it turns out a lot of them can be really stupid.

And the rumor about them isn't just that he's cheating, it's that he's actually in a relationship and doesn't even live with Robin, and that this is, this is, this is, this is, all just faked for the show for whatever reason. Wow. Like, if he's being bold, it's because he doesn't care if people find out, you know. And now this is just a rumor. So what the fuck do I know? But I read the same blogs they do, you know? So Karen's like, well, ask you a man.

And she goes, oh, I did ask him, and he's ready to cuss you out. Which I'd love that Robin's always threatening that her husband's going to get mad at them. You think they give a fuck? You think Karen Hugar gives the fuck what your husband thinks? And obviously not. I'm so glad Juan Dixon isn't here right now. Because Karen has now been playing the long game, which we realize. Karen's not really a long game player, you know, but here she goes.

Karen, Karen enters some new evidence that is hilarious and amazing. And she goes, well, you know why Juan wanted to cuss me out? It's because I've been protecting Juan. Ready for that? You ready for that? Because when Andy Cohen asked at the reunion, well, you and one, Juan opened to a threesome, you said yes. And Robin's like, I never said that.

And it cuts the footage of Robin literally saying, no. She says, hell no. And Juan said, come on, you've got to keep it spicy, right? And so Karen continues, and then we all went to dinner, and Juan takes me and his arms, squeezes me so tight, my breast went back into my vertebrae. And I want you to be, he said, I want you to be number three in the threesome. And Wendy just wheels. She goes,

I don't believe this story. I think it's hilarious. If the story possibly happened, I think it's Juan maybe making a joke about that question. But of course, Karen would take it very seriously. And she goes, this is why you don't like me.

Can you tell them why you don't like me? Because your man does. How about that? They're all just cracking up. They're just cracking out. And Charisse is like, the delusion continues. And Giselle's like, so one wants to fuck you what? This is ridiculous, Karen.

Come on, nah. And she's like, well, he did touch me. And he did make me feel very uncomfortable. And Robin's like, he touched you? Oh, God, I can't confirm her. Denied that, but whatever, Karen. Well, he did ask me to be the number three in the relationship. So Karen says, I believe Robin is mad at me because she knows one is, was attractive.

to me and I'm a beautiful woman, so it makes sense. Now, the long game here is that when they started coming out with this messiness about Candace's husband, Karen is like, oh, really? Fine. Let's see how far you want to go with that and I'll accuse one of the same thing, basically, you know? So this whole cast, this whole season is just accusing each other's husbands of sexual misconduct, basically. Yeah. Yeah, that's the vibe. So then we actually do get a flashback of Karen telling Giselle, you know, a few years ago that like a husband did squeeze her and, you know. No, it was this year? Was it this year that she said that?

Oh, I can't remember. Yeah, it was this year when. I forget to look at the stamps. It was this year when Giselle was saying, you know, I felt uncomfortable being in, you know, when Chris said he wanted to talk and then when we went to talk, I felt super uncomfortable. And she said, yeah, I understand feeling uncomfortable. because the husband made me feel uncomfortable because he hugged him too hard or something. And Jazeel was like, I thought it was Michael Darby.

Yeah. And then they just cut to Michael Darby doing his Gallum laugh. Yeah. Yeah. Holding up that shot, like, no women in Vegas. Like, me. Yeah. So, Giselle's like, but Wana.

So then they show a, they show footage of Juan hugging Karen a month ago or something, and they show a diagram, breasts at safe distance from backbone, because they're having a very nice hug. Yeah. A respectable hug and respectful. Oh, God. So then Candace is like, well, this is definitely the best food we've had. Whoever did this?

Nice work. They're like, hey, who wants more shots? And they're just so casual, you know? And then Chazel goes, okay, I want to toast. I'm going to have a to to receipts. Because we've got receipts. we've got the seat, so. It's like, oh, whatever.

You know, her eyelashes now on her, you know, hanging out of her left nostril. Her eyes are crossed. Yeah. So everyone's sipping their tequila. And then Karen, Karen tells Ashley that she hosted a really good vacation. So she's trying to kind of like wrap it up and everything. But there's still awkwardness with Jacqueline and Mia.

So Giselle's like, so, uh, you two. Are you okay? Uh, and someone goes, who? And Jazel goes, these two at the bottom. I mean, at the end, I was like, well, that was telling right there that she just said the bottom. Yeah. And they just kind of look at her. Everyone's like, come on, haven't we had enough for the day?

Like, how much more do we have to shoot, you know? And so, Jazeel's like, well, you know, you're sitting next to each other. You refuse to speak on the bus. And so Jacqueline's like, we're not speaking, and we're working through it. And it's a process. And it has nothing to do with you guys. And I don't give a fuck with you guys, okay? Because we're going to have a confrontation, but we're not going to do it at this

because I'm not like that kind of person. I'm like, oh, Jacqueline, you're trying so hard. I love the sudden sobbing from Jacqueline. Like, how could you? I'm mad at all of you now. And Mia's like, well, shut the fuck up, fam. And Jacqueline says, well, that's telling. Our friendship doesn't even matter to you.

And I had vash for you. For how long with these women? No cancer versus cancer. I stood the fuck up and told these bitches and sit the fuck down. That was me. That was me. And Jacqueline is like, she's like, like just like my mom took you in okay oh yeah and that's why i was with your mother on mother's day

where were you oh that was good you got to give me a point there well canvass is then like okay this is sisters fighting okay leave it to the sisters leave it this is how you know that they know that Jacqueline is a friend of because if she were a full-fledged cast member they would be egging it on but because she's just a friend of they're like this is not a central fight. We'll just let this one, you know, die off-camera. Yeah, Candace is like, why are you trying to promote this loser to full-time status? She sucks, Giselle. Could you please just eat your damn nachos? Okay. I actually don't have a problem with Jacqueline. I have to say, I know this is shocking. I don't

have a problem with her whatsoever. Oh, I think she's just a follower in lame and has nothing to offer. I mean, I don't have a problem with her. I just wouldn't like a buy. I would pass her by. But yeah, I'll just pass her by. You know, I don't like her, but I don't, I wouldn't cast her. If it's an audition, I would just say, no, sorry. Next. Well, no, she's failed the audition. She's failed the audition because she withheld the fight from the group by saying she

doesn't want to bring it up with the group. That is the failure of the audition there. I think she's just been failing the whole time. I mean, she comes on. All she does is kiss me his ass. That's revolting. Nobody wants to see that. She has no opinions of her own.

Then she's trying to start like all this, like, oh my God, we have threesome. She's trying to start all that. She's just too, she's cringe. She's like the, she's like the auditionies on this year of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. There's just a lot of cringe and I would expect better, you know? I mean, Housewives has been around for a long time. People should know what to bring to the table by now. But Potomac hasn't really had a huge amount of luck with their friends ofs. You know, we had a Scala last year who was like, fine but forgettable. We got Jacqueline, you know. I think Katie Ross

was the best that we got as a, you know, coming back as a friend of, but yeah, Atomic needs some help in the friend of department. Yeah, for sure. So then Jacqueline's like, you were deep and you were ugly. And my mother took you in as a

child. And he's like, oh, God, she does this all the time. And she does it with all my other friend groups, too. And they won't even let me bring her anymore. She's just so exonaut. I told her just stay home. You're exhausting me. Yeah.

And then Mia's just like over. And she thinks that Jacqueline's crime because Mia hasn't been giving her enough attention. So Jacqueline moves chair. She's like, I can't sit next to this bitch. And Wendy's like, what's going on? Oh my God. Okay, fine. So then Jacqueline storms off.

And Mia turns to Wendy and she goes, Speaking of sisters and boss bitches and fam fam, fam full transparency Wendy I want to like you fam and I have a soft spot in my heart for you because you're beautiful and oh my God

this is gonna like make me cry right now when he's like oh don't cry you simple human and you simple idiot talk why I went to slag you know and she's like you have an amazing husband and beautiful children

and Wendy's like And she goes, and I don't want to feel like you don't like me because of insecurities. And Wendy goes, wait, what insecurity? What? Insecurities. And she's like, no, I don't want to argue. And she goes, okay, why don't we just end it here and just say, me and you can have the conversation at another time. And so she takes her hand.

And Candace is like, Amen, we did it. Can we leave now? well that was Mia that was Mia deciding which path she wants to go down for the rest of the season and she decides you know what I'm going to wrap things up with Wendy because I'm going to bring her on to my side so that way Jacqueline really has no one so Mia's like meas like wow like thank you so much um you know even with Jacqueline and I

arguing like I don't hold grudges and like I'm willing to talk it out with Wendy you know because I'm a boss, bitch, fam. So they all get from the table. But maybe she just needs more of Mia time, because I'm actually fun. Summer Body. I think she does say Summer Body or something like that. I like that I have to check with you so much to see what Mia is saying. It's not always clear what she's saying.

Well, she just says such strange things all the time, you know. So Jacqueline, so they're leaving, and Jacqueline is at the bar, it's just stoping a drama queen, even though literally nothing just happened. And she's like, my sister is going to curse her the fuck out. Like, I don't even know who she is because she lies so much. Like, you're going to have to remove me away from her. Her ego is off the charts. Like, at this point, it could be gloves off, but it won't. It won't be that because I'm a good person, okay?

Because I would fuck her up, except I'm a good person. I'm going to fuck her up with goodness. That's what I'm going to. do. So Wendy's like, oh, my God, what is happening with these? Why are you taking people's drinks? And Candice is like, they said I could have it. She's taking, like, the bottle of Casa isul.

She's like, they said I could. Don't say anything good. They'll take it back. So then they get on the van and everything. And so I was like, adiosa. Is audio Spanish? Ah! And they leave.

And they cut to the iguana chewing on leaves. Like, all right, bye, girls. Hope you had a good time here. Have a fun time tonight. Yeah. Adiosa. Is that Arnold Schwarzenegger? Oh, my God, Giselle. Just really... Osta, baby, yeah.

Jazeel's going to be banned for Mexico. I'll be back. Then there's a knock at Mia's door, and it's Wendy. And they're like, oh, my God, gorgeous. Oh, my God, you're so pretty. You're beautiful. You were stunning. And she's like, oh, my God, you're like, you're like me.

you're just like me, you're clean, and you're neat, fam. And she's like, I actually know, Wendy says that. Sorry, Wendy's like, oh, my God, you're clean and neat, just like I am. Yeah, maybe we have more in common than we think we did. Did you shower? Yeah, I did. Did you? Yeah, oh, my God.

I'm like the same person. So, she goes, Wendy's like, okay, well, I would like to hear what you have to say. And she's like, well, I just want you to know. I do like you, Wendy, and I just can't think we keep missing each other because I don't understand where we went wrong. And Wendy's like, uh, because girl, you threw a drink on me. Like, she goes, ah, wow. She goes, to me, okay, let me explain. To me, that's like somebody completely disrespecting your space.

Like, someone's spitting on you. She's like, um, without a tip. Yeah, like not in the club, like outside of the club. Oh, all right. You're right. And we should feel comfortable. Like, we shouldn't have to worry that someone's going to throw something at us. And I really am sorry.

Like, I didn't sleep that night because I don't ever want to be responsible for disrespecting anybody. Like, what? I can really see that guilt all over her for the next day and next weeks. That she just, it was like the telltale. heart, okay? It was like the telltale fam. I mean, it was just like that guilt and the paranoia. It was just all over her body. So Mia's like, you know, and we like you and I like you fam. And when he's like, yeah, I mean, you got a fake booty. I got a fake booty. You're beautiful. I'm gorgeous. I think overall, you know, you're a good person overall. I mean, dumb. Dumb is

as rocks, but good. A good person. Meas like, well, last night it didn't sound like you thought that. She goes, uh, because last night you were getting on my nerves. And then we get to Wendy laugh. It's like, ha, ha. Well, I'm gonna get up your nerves again, okay? And they're like, okay. So they hug. And Mia's like, I'm so proud of you. And Wendy's like, I'm so proud of you too, mama. She's getting that high pitch voice. Like, what the fuck? The show is so crazy. I know. So now it's two hours later. And they're sort of trying to imply. that things are going to, like something's about to go really bad. And they're all out and they're drinking and having fun.

And then they are like, they're laughing crazy. And the music's just getting really dark. Like, oh, they're having so much fun, but then guess what? And then Asher's like, yeah. Then after dinner, we had like, we went to a bar. I started pounding tequila shots. And we all did like, you know, a flash to show that we weren't showing, we weren't wearing panties. It was like really funny.

And then Wendy says, Mia comes besides me. She slithers and says, I just. want to eat you a box and she's like oh and by the way wendy looks stunning in this confessional they're all in like new confessional looks for this and she has like old 50s movie star hair she looks this is her best so um then they all get like the drunk like blurry camera and mea just keeps making this and they're saying did it happen and then we just keep seeing in a restaurant, Mia doing her impersonation of monkey sounds, which I guess she's told us that she's famous for. So she keeps doing these big loud monkey sounds throughout the whole, all of this.

So they just keep playing that and then showing them all drunk. And then it ends with them saying, who says that she, uh, we had a, okay. So actually, it's like, yeah, so we go to this bar. We're pounding tequila shots. We do a little flash to show us that we have no panties. So we're showing each other. We don't have panties. Mia wants to eat the box. And then we just see lightning.

And then Candice says, did that happen? And then we hear the fake monkey imitations again. And then lightning. And then it goes out. But it's like next week, she spread her legs all the way. Oh, that man. So Mia goes from

we're friends, we're like best friends now, to just accusing Wendy of trying to like bang her or something. Oh my God, the show. Yeah, it's a bit wild. It's a bit wild. So, I don't know, I just, the big takeaway is that apparently Juan Dixon has a hard on for Karen. And we should have just always seen it. The signs were always there with the way he would kind of talk to her and like, share, you know, share the same air as her. So, you know, huge, huge revelations.

Yeah. Oh, fun episode. Well, everybody, thanks for being with us today. You can go get tickets for Watch What Crappins live coming to your city, starting next week. Go to watchwockrappins.com. That's also where you'll find our Patreon links for our bonus episodes and Crappins-on-demand Vigias. We will talk to you next time.

Bye, everybody. My fam. Watch What Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsor. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Christy-wowardy. Dana C. Dana do. She's not just a sheila.

She's a Daniela. Itchels. Erin McNacalus. She don't miss no trickles. Ava Nigelah Weber. Jamie. She has no less namey. Except some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. You're never alone with Lacey Monta-Leon. Let's give a kisser to Lisa Lino. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burg.

Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors. Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neill. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Better do what she says is Elva Enriquez.

Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. Undo your fasteners, it's Aaron Castner. Nobody holds a candle to Jamie Kendall. She's not harsh. She's Jill Hirsch. We will, we will. Joanna Rockland, you. My favorite Murdo.

Karen McMurdo. We love him madly. It's Kyle Pod Chadley. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. She's a good hobby. It's Lauren Hobgood. We want to hang with Liz Lang. The Incredible Edible Matthews Sisters.

Nancy Sees and De Sisto. Give him hell, Miss Noel. She's the queen B. It's Sarah Lemke. Shannon, out of a canon, Anthony. Let's take off with Tamla Plain. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coutar. We love you guys.