Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Fire in the Hole!

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

The Real Housewives of Potomac returns with a new woman married to a super old dude, new boobs for Wendy, and the same squabbling between Giz and Karen. This week's bonus episode is the second part of a two part Big Brother cast breakdown. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, hello and welcome to Watch My Corruptions. The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on ye old braves. Everybody happy real housewives of Potomac week.

It's me Ronnie and that's been over there. Hi, Bane. Hi Ronnie. How are you? I'm I am so good. I'm so good. We got Potomac back talking about it today. How are you doing?

Good are you sure you don't want to talk about your boxes on fire? Your fire box boxy fire Before you light your boxes on fire, we should probably tell everyone that Ronnie and I are gonna be back on watch what happens live on Wednesday night Y'all um, we're, I had a little y'all. I wasn't committed to having a little destiny into there.

Yeah, because we are, we're also recapping Shaws later today. So I'm already sort of like one, one half of my brain is in Shaws land, one half is in Potomac land. But all of my brain will be in watch what happens land because we're going to be on it Wednesday night

with Danny and Sasha, Danny Peligrino from everything iconic My brain will be in Watcher Happens Land because we're going to be on it Wednesday night with Danny and Sasha, Danny Peligrino from Everything Iconic and Sasha from the proper breakdown on IG. We love them both. And it's so fun. It's so cool. This is our third time getting to go back on the show. So it's really cool.

So we just hope everyone is able to tune in and watch us and I'm excited. It's always, I always feel so special. I always feel like I like it because for a moment, I have a hope that I might get a blue dot on a social media platform, you know, just for one moment. Well, good luck with your blue dot. Okay, I'm not gonna happen. I support your blue dot.

Okay, it won't happen. Listen, I should just be so happy that our watch or crap in Instagram has a blue dot. And by the way, everyone should follow that because why not? It's got a blue dot, everyone. So cool. Yeah, go follow it.

It's super fun. We're having a lot of fun over there. And our schedule just for everybody who knows has changed. We are going to keep watching Family Karma but not recapping it at the mo. We're going to talk about it a little bit on the bonuses you know keep caught up because it's a very good show. So if you don't watch that go watch that. It really is a good show.

But our schedule is we're gonna front load the week with Potomac, Shaws, Below Deck Med and then we're gonna do of course keep the other housewives in there as well. Gotta keep all our housewives. So we're doing New York and Beverly Hills, okay? And if you need more, go listen to the bonus episodes. We just did a really fun two-parter breaking down the cast of the new Big Brother season. And it's where we don't watch any of it. We just go off there, bios and pictures and stuff. So it's really rude.

So if you need some really shitty accurate, I don't have to say. By the way, so I've watched the first two episodes of Big Brother so far, so far so say. By the way, so I've watched the first two episodes of Big Brother so far. So far so good, by the way. And I would say that we're so far, we're doing pretty well in terms of our hot takes this season. I feel really good about it.

OK, well good. You know, I love to be right, especially when I'm just being an asshole judging people. So, you know, when it happens, I'll take it. Yeah, so go listen to that. It's on Patreon. Okay, so this is very exciting. Potomac is back. It's always a little bit of a question mark with these shows this year about how,

what we're gonna get because COVID has made things really difficult, I think, on the production end. And I was so happy to see that that Potomac was Just as great and hilarious as ever like just a just an amazing great premiere just out of the gate hilarious I was cracking up laughing. This is what our Bravo shows should be like and These are women who if they are self-producing. I'm not seeing it. I don't feel like they really are They are just like whatever, you know, they've opened the gates. Let's now go at it Hey, I'm good if you soft produce just do a good job at it. Yeah, do be yeah, that's true

Yes, it's like it's like when people say even on a larger scale. Oh like oh reality TV is scripted Well, sure, but as long as it's good. It's good But if it's like some show on e where they're like literally reading off of a teleprompter that an intern wrote their lines for like, no, that's not good. Yeah, agreed. So we begin like every season's begins. I'm sure everyone's sitting in their, um, professionals on their cell phones. It's basically how every dinner begins across America.

All of us sit together and, uh, whip out our cell phones. And the producers are like, all right, let's start. And then just in case you guys forgot, because every time a new season begins, we forget why we hate everybody. It's like the Bravo brain. We just kind of reset the DVR and start over again. I do it.

But in case you forgot why Candace is annoying, she starts with her camera speed bar. Even just ruining that simple phrase, camera speed. She just, just singing it, okay. And this, I noticed this premiere was very heavy on producer talking. Like we're getting a lot of that now. You're in the pooch-ass questions. Like that fourth wall has been coming down more and more

every year on Broadway. Not on Broadway, that's because I'm bravo. But on Broadway too. I'm like, is that season's trovein' back there? So the producers are like, okay, in one word, describe what last year was like. So just like, it goes, hmm, toxic, gah. And of course, we see a clip of the fight.

And then Wendy, Wendy goes, last year taught me that you never know who may be plotting behind your back. I'm like, no, it was plotting behind your back. I'm not hiding behind your back. What are you even talking about? What was she so much? So what was, oh, I guess she's referring to, maybe just Candison Monique.

Karen, no, because remember how Karen brought, she invited Monique to her party, her launch party for whatever business that was, that she was her weave business or whatever, and she told Monique to come, and then Monique said she was, but still Wendy, that had nothing to do with you. Okay, no one's plotting behind your back. Yeah, yeah, I was like, relax Wendy. And then Karen says, mm, just, I'm a much bigger person than you. Yeah, and Monique, this asked me to write a statement.

And Karen's saying, oh well, well, I see here's two friends going last and Karen's going, you saw bitch get mad and I'm sorry for me. And, um, Jacelle, her whole thing is that she really can't just going, you saw bitch get mad and I'm shocked me. And Jacelle, her whole thing is that she really wants an apology. Cause you know, Jacelle did so badly in their reunion. Like so, so badly. And Monique really, you know, Monique really went out in a, like a, in a death,

not death spiral, but kind of a place of glory, I would say, a place of glory. And, and Jacelle was the one who was really taken down by it. So she's spent most of that, the second half of that reunion just sitting there quietly, trying to lick her wounds. So now she's had some time to recoup and she's decided her new narrative

is that this is all Karen's fault and she's gonna be mad at Karen and now Karen has to apologize. Yes. And then they showed us a bunch more clips of what happened last season. So it's like drama drama, you know fighting fighting the physical fight to physical fight and then some reunion fights and then they just showed me a throwing salad at somebody's face. Oh, and I was like, wait a minute. That's from this season. You cheaters. So I can't remember how funny that was. Yeah, because it hasn't happened yet. We've only seen it in the previews. Cheater. Yeah, because we're seeing, yeah, it's like a, this is like a tease because the trailer's at the end

and we're seeing clips of things like Candace saying, you brought your wide bodied ass to spread lies and bullshit and then we see the lettuce throwing. I love the lettuce throwing. They're like, listen guys, last year, the wine glass, it was just a little too dark, a little too dark for this show. Let's just make it let us this time.

Sure, we can work with let us. Yeah. Uh, mm-hmm. As well, the coffee one. It's my strategy. Sorry, this is the producer talking. It's the producer talking. He's like, I would like to say something

in behalf of the let us. I got just done. I should've been a Rougala. I'd like a rocket satellite next time. Rocket. And then Wendy goes, yeah. Yeah. No, no, no, no, you do it.

No, you do it. You do it. You never know when someone's got plot against you, Ronnie. You never know when someone's going to try and steal your Wendy line. So she says, don't listen to them. Watch them. Like, oh, just, okay. Okay, yeah, thanks. When slacks.

Thanks, Wendy. Okay, she's telling us, okay, let's not act like she literally, like, entered in the codes for the atomic bombs, okay? You never know when someone's gonna throw a spring mix from Dull. You never know when you're gonna need a little ranch dressing in a fight. You never know when you might get a cranberry and a crouton thrown your way. Okay, so then we get the tagline. I love this is the best music of all the housewives. I know you love you love it. It's the what's it called?

Why am I blanking on the genre of the Maryland genre? Go go. Thank you. Love it. So Chisella's first. First. Mm hmm. Chisella's first.

The secret to this pretty face is staying in the shade. Where's the word on the streets? I know. See, she got the street shook out of her by money. No more streets. No more streets. I mean, you can't get word on the streets if you're hiding in the shade. I mean, Jacelle is literally under an awning now

on the street, because she was sober by the word on the streets last year. Well, maybe the original one was, the secret to this pretty face is staying on a street that is tree covered in the summer, where there are leaves. Like, hmm, doesn't have a good ring to it. The word under the awning is. The word under the overhang on the street is, it's shady here.

So then this new girl Mia. By the way, I want to say also, that's a great line. The secret to this pretty face is staying in the shade. That's a really good, that's like a, I think that's a top tier line. Yeah, it's pretty good. And also, most evil people on Bravo at least are very pretty. And Disney evil people over it. The only one who maybe wasn't really hot, and I guess it just depends on your version of hot,

but the little mermaid one wasn't that hot. But maybe because she was an octopus. Yeah, maybe that was too scary, but like Maleficent Hot, Snow White's stepmother, whoever the evil queen she's hot. Heather Debrot, yeah, hot. Heather Debrot, hot. Yeah, they're usually hot, so.

Jafar, kind of hot. I'm sure Jafar's hot. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're usually hot so Jafar kind of hot short to far so far like kink. Yeah, scars scar Jafar's not really that hot. He's a little jafar's a little bit like the guy at the cocktail party who has a very specific opinion about Broadway these days And you're like, okay, okay, the right He's like, you know, I did Android Webber really need to remake Cinderella. Did he really? I remember 1968 having drinks with Jerome Robbins and I said Broadway will never be better on Guess what?

He agreed and my point remains. Like okay, Jafar, thanks. So the new girl Mia is like, if you wanna pop off, I'll be happy to get you adjusted. Wow, this is the first time we've had back humor. Yeah, I know. And the tagline. So well done.

And the best part is since we don't know she's a car practice yet, it barely makes sense. You're like, what's the joke there? Is she in insurance or she's like, fixed asks or something. So you know she's that lady with the shim who comes to fix your table when it's wobbly in a restaurant. You know what I love about her being a chiropractor. It's only a matter of time before she gets on someone's bad side and they start shading her for nothing. I quote unquote real doctor because you know that's what that's what everyone does to chiropractor's all the time Poor guys and then you're like I'm gonna stand up for the chiropractor and then he's like oh, hey

I'm gonna sell you this silver water for $70 to help your back. You're like wait a minute Yeah, and then we have Robin who really inspires us with I may keep you, but trust me, I'm worth it. Are you? Are you? It's like waiting for a salad at McDonald's. Is it worth it? I feel like she just hasn't sent out hat orders. That's what's going on. She's just been because once she's sleeping a lot.

So I bet she's just behind on hat orders. And so she's using her tagline to be like, please don't read me bad, Yelp reviews. Yeah. I know I actually really like Robin a lot, but I think I'd like her the most in the capacity of being a friend of just L because they like laugh at the things together. And Robin is, I mean, Robin is really good at laughing at the same shit that we laugh at, but I just feel like this tagline is, is overstating her inherent magnetism. You know, it should be more like,

I may keep you waiting, but I'll send you a funny text in the meantime, and I'm like, yeah, okay, that's cool. But what does it mean, right? Because I may keep you waiting. So is this because she's always late, like they're always giving her a show for being late? Or is it because she hasn't gotten married yet?

And everyone's asking what she's gonna get married? I'm not really sure. I think it's all the above. Robin has been the one waiting. Robin, like her whole story line is waiting. No, we're waiting for her because now it's like they're, you know, I know what that's what I'm saying. Like your storyline isn't that you make us wait. It's that, no, it's not that, you know what I mean?

It's a prevail. Yeah, I don't know. I can't get the sentence out right, but you guys know what I mean. It's like that you know what I mean to prevail. Yeah, I don't know. I can't get the sentence out right but you guys know what I mean It's like always waiting Robin is always waiting and now she's like I may keep you waiting. How about just get how about just get married already because I'm so sick of every season starting off with Hey Robin when you're gonna get married Just like the woman alone. Well, that means Ron and you're waiting. She's keeping you waiting. That's why you know what? You know what? It's to be it.

It's to be like that. It's keeping me waiting. I don't care if you get married. Okay, stop. It's a matter of making that better person. Yeah. You're your gas lit on the waiting. It's almost like you go to a restaurant

and your food hasn't arrived yet. And the waiter says, I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, but trust me, it'll be worth it. I don't want to hear that. Just bring me my food. Yeah, because then you're like talking up the food too much. Yeah.

So Ashley, her line just triggered me about restaurants, keeping you waiting, and then, you know, I'm around family, so I go eat with my family, and then it's a constant drama in my family, because my mom is that lady who's like, well, they got our food before us, and we were here way before them, even though we're like a table of 10.

I'm like, well, you know, they have a soup, you know, and she's like keeping, she's keeping score on who's eating when, you know, it stresses me out the waiting. Can we just have a way to do that too? I do that a little bit. I do it more, less at a table situation, but more in a, I've put in my order in a line and there were calling numbers and my number's been skipped and I'm like, but I put in my order is easier

and I should have my stuff by now. And then it like, I spiral into this somehow being some sort of like, trigger from childhood, you know, all that stuff. But your house was tagline. I was here before them. Oh my God, there's a helicopter directly over my place. I hear something there. It's like a ice cream truck helicopter I'm like I'm using it. They're talking. They're talking wait. Oh

They're talking the megaphone You live in Hollywood, so yes chances are they looking for Robin as she kept Like you waited too long I'm no but the citizen app and see what's going on. Who are they who are they yelling at? Okay, well whatever I'm telling someone to get the hell out of their house and come get arrested Yeah, okay, so under arrest robin is rob caused all this. Okay. Okay. So then Ashley's the only thing messier than two boys is me. And your husband's grinder DMs. Okay. Your husband is messier than two boys. Your husband is messier than 10 boys. Is she basically saying she's just like covered in diarrhea right now. Is that what she's trying to say?

That's that's where I take it. I think she means it in the fun way. Like I'm messy. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, by the way, here's here's here's what's going on. So I live about a block and a half away from a little a little library. And just now report of a gun brandish near library. So there's a gunman outside, I think. So everyone just remain calm.

If you're already chaos, if I suddenly like, I'm like, oh shit, and I'm ducking under my thing, you'll know. Geez, the great, the great library, gunman. God. Leave the library as a loan. Grant, what'd you say? Leave the library as a loan. Grant, what'd you say? Leave the library as a loan.

Can you get peace anywhere, Jesus Christ? Or maybe it's someone who's just mad that, you know, they're getting charged to late fee for a used book. Anyway, yeah, I hope everything's okay in library. Yeah, I hope everyone's okay. And I hope whoever's brandishing a gun gets, you know, gets arrested. Some brandishing a gun gets arrested. Stop brandishing guns people.

It's like literally, it is literally the most annoying and ridiculous and harmful flex. Like congratulations, you got a gun, you're not a frickin cowboy, keep it together, get out of our faces. Yeah, so then we go to Candace, he's like, my blessings are many and my patience is none. And your mother is still

paying for both to stop mine. Okay. And your work history is none. Yeah, like ability. I mean, so many words could be, could be subbed in for patients. Like ability is none. Blue dot on Twitter is none. She doesn't have a blue dot. I think she got her's revoked. I just have to assume she got her's revoked. You get it revoked? You can get it revoked for bad behavior or things like that.

And I would not be surprised since she bullied some people. Oh, so we no longer know who you are. You're no longer verified. You no longer appear to be a real person Which is funny because we can no longer promise everybody that this is actually canvas Which by the way that's also kind of hilarious bullshit on Twitter's part because Twitter is like no a blue dot is not a status symbol It's just to verify that like since you you are a public figure that, you know, this is really you speaking.

So by them revoking it as a punishment, it's like what the logic behind that is what she's no longer a public figure? No, it's a, they're doing that because they know it's a prestige thing. Yeah. Can you see how bitter I am, but I don't have a problem. You're really on a blue dot spiral today. I'm a blue dot blue dot special today

Yeah, hey blue dot people I will give up any thought of me ever getting a blue dot if you just give them blue dot, okay No, I want Ronda to get his first. I don't need a blue dot people know who we're gonna get yours first I'm the guy with a headshot from like 30 years ago. Okay, winking. That's me. That's my everybody knows it's me. Okay, so then the who else? Oh, Wendy. This is gonna be a 10 hour recap, by the way. Sorry. I know. Some, some Monday suck and some Mondays are glorious. This is a glorious one. So just sit tight everybody. Yeah. Yeah, it's glorious as a gunman outside. That's helicopters going around. It's a great day. Jacelle's in the shade.

Come on, that's relax. This professor doesn't just grade on a curve. She sets the curve. Okay. Well, isn't that what a professor doesn't? I mean, it's fine. It's fine. I mean, I guess.

I don't like grading. I don't like grading in my housewives taglines. I don't like grading I don't like grading in my housewives tag lines I don't like grading anywhere. Okay grades and back adjustments. That's the big theme so far Um, I then Karen The grand arm can never be duplicated imitated or intimidated or Mass decayed Masticated or a mastercaded neighborhood Cated

Education table weighted graduated amissated Illuminated Tarteted Coffee-tibulated You were the amount if a did she's crazy Baba can you shake it I'm inflated Deflated

You're You're Reinstated is that what you just said say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that.

I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that.ided and that's that. Vassie bottom Monday. Stifelated. Okay, so when so now we see Wendy's linking around in her for coat.

It's like iPhone footage and she's like, in a for coat and she's like walking to a door jam. And then she gets the door jam and then let's go off. And then it's like when do you doing a sexy dance against red light? And then we it's like when they're doing a sexy dance against red light and then we hear you are cordially invited to the nude interlude redefining what it means to look and feel sexy. All guests are asked to wear shades of nude for a fun night of dinner, drinks and a couple special surprise guests.

So it's funny just reading this now having watched the episode and coming back to read these lines right now, which I haven't done. I love that she says this is going to redefine what it means to look and feel sexy. When literally all that happens is that Wendy reveals her new boobs, which is not a redefinition. It is a confirmation of what people have always said is what it means to look sexy.

If anything she's confirmed, she's confirmed age-old ideas of sexiness and perhaps made some people feel unsexy in the process. Yes, how to feel good about yourself. Get new boobs, okay? Get plastic surgery. That's what she's doing. We're gonna redefine sexiness.

Guys, here's the new sexiness, big boobs. Wow. And something that and making yourself look like you're naked. Ooh, what a thought. Yeah, you really changed that one up. Thanks. Chains of warroins. So this whole video of her dancing in her fur

and like the entrance to her bathroom is so, it's the most awkward. You know, some of it looks really good. And then some of it, like, is she pooping on the wall? Cause like she has a moment where she does this like squat against the wall. I'm not really sure, but, you know, the video's not gonna keep me from the party,

but having a nude party? No, no. Sorry, maybe it's cause I live in West Hollywood, but no, no, I've been there, I've been there, I've done that, I'm never gonna do that again. No, no, no, no, no, it's a new, new conclude. That's what it is for you. So, um, yeah, bathroom nude. I'm not going to drive my ass to your house, nude. Fucking crazy. Um, I, I thought this was what I liked about this invitation was that to me, it just seemed like really one of the most honest portrayals of the pandemic, which is someone just so deeply bored in at home that she has

nothing to do, but to make some sort of pseudo-tick-tock thing and then just send it off to all her friends as if anyone cares. This is just what 2020 was, making strange content for each other. Although I never did anything like that, I'm sorry to say. But I probably made many other stupid like, I did. I definitely sent people lots of things from Animal Crossing that were very entertaining to me, but probably not entertaining to anyone else anywhere ever. Well, you see Eddie taking this video and he you know It's like when people do those Boudoir pictures for their husband. Yeah, I'm doing something sexy for my husband But that's not this at all. He's just like holding the dog in one hand and the video on the other hand like all right

Are we doing this pandemic? This is like pandemic activity. It's like what else do we have to do? So then okay, that's what you do. You make too much of the red face. This is December, the bread phase ended in June, okay. So now we go to Jacelle's West Wing, and she's on the phone with Grace, so I guess it's in a different wing, and Grace is like, what's for lunch?

And Jacelle's like, when am I going to get you guys to a place where you can make your own lunch? And really the star of the scene is Jizzel's shirt because she's wearing, did you notice her shirt that she was wearing? No, what did it say? So it didn't say, well, it said so much that's actually any text on it.

A text would have been actually a little bit more refined. It had like pinched stripes, vertical pinched stripes for most of the shirt, but then there's also some panels that had like pinch stripes going in different directions and the sleeves were plaid. It was just like the most Jazelle way to start the season. No, I'm a person who just kind of blacks out trauma. So I just see a head.

I see her beautiful head floating head. That's the smartest way to do it. That's the smartest way. So then over at Karen's house, Karen is talking to a plant and she's like, all right baby. Mama's gonna feed you now. Baby no. I'm so thirsty. Audrey too is just like, I'm not even gonna say anything. I'm just gonna pretend to be a regular plant right now I can't I'm just gonna I'm just gonna pretend to die so I can be kicked out of this house. I'm not eating this lady Okay, she's not she smells like her perfume. I will not be eating this way. Oh

Please Please Grown for me. Grow for me, Ray. I've given you sunshine, I've given you lotum. You've given me nothing, nothing at all, you firebox. This is odd ray too. Odd ray too.

I'd rate you. So then we go to Robbins new house and she's taking selfies. It's not built yet. You know, it's in the process of being built and she's taking a selfie with Juan in front of the house. And she's like, are you excited Juan? He's like, I am thrilled. I feel like thrilled for their new Mac mansion. Yeah. And they actually show a couple of clips of You know Robbins moving around look at Robin packing stuff and she was going

More one Yeah, what hasn't been excited in seven years? Let's literally ever for anything. Okay, never yeah, never never been excited. seven years. Literally ever for anything. Okay. Never. Yeah. Never been excited. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So then we go to, it says Candace's slash Dorothy's townhouse, which is funny.

And then it goes sooo hard for $800,000. And now we go to Candace's new house, which is again, another McMansion just right in there in suburbia, 10,000 square feet and 1.1 million dollars and six beds and seven bathrooms. Why don't know? I don't know why, I don't know why the two of them need that many bedrooms and bathrooms, but they did it. And it's an exciting, exciting chapter to their bankruptcy. I like their smart ass contractor because she's like, my bonus kids are coming from Florida. So I want this room to be homey, but beautiful.

And he's like, so a sanctuary. Yeah, meanwhile, it's like a two story living room all in gray, like about as cold and unhomy as possible. I don't know what she's gonna do in there. Yeah, it isn't kind of depressing house, but good for her, you know, the American way. That let's bet it out people. I'm in. Exactly. And then we go over to Ashley who's with the breakout store of last season, baby. Wow, wow, wow, I'm 18 months old. You can't change your family, but you can change my diaper. Get on it, mother. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.

So Michael comes in. They're trying to do the happy family bit right now. So Michael comes, he's, hello, I'm him. I'm home from a day full of work of calls and picking up folders on I'm him, happy family. This is the most awkward scene. Oh my God, because you know Michael hates being on the show. And he hates having to film these scenes.

And it just makes him like guilty as hell every single time. And he comes in and basically he's like, what am I, Charles, the liver? If you're not, because he's playing with the kid, you know, his car. So he's got one of those fucking cars, right? So the kid's driving the car into all the walls. And he's like, listen, if you're not going forward, you're not going anywhere, drive're not going anywhere. Drive better. He drives like his mother.

That seemed to my charm. Can I please get to the bedroom now? No, we're going to talk about a relationship now. God, damn it. Yeah, he gets very, he's like really trying to show these a happy dad, but then baby Dean just like crashes his car into the wall and goes, Oh, the Venetian plaster. I'm happy. I'm so, so happy. So Ashley is like, wow, where the home stretch only 10 days till the next baby, because she's

about to pop with her next, her next little wham wham wham wham. And he's like, well, you know, what we need to do, usually, he's like, well, you know what we need to do, ishaly, he's put together that bass and that. And she's like, oh, I'll get it. No, no, you're not gonna fucking get it. You're about to have a baby in five minutes and what the hell is he acting like you're his task rabbit? Yeah, and I think that she's starting to front load

her excuses for Michael's behavior because she goes, well, you know, because I didn't grow up with a father of my own, I didn't know what fatherhood looked like. Uh, which I guess is the sh- Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud,

from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Show that why maybe she might be more lax about Michael's, you know, bad fathering. It should be see some of that. And then we get a flashback. It's so cruel. She's like, you know, because I didn't grow up with the father of my own and we get a flashback

of her, like, getting the door slammed on her face by her biological father to relieve that drum. Oh my God. So sad. Like one of the most heartbreaking scenes and they're just going to throw it in there during those like happy moments. Boom, boom, boom, boom. Like they're happy music. But yeah, now I didn't know what fatherhood looks like, but you know, now after watching Michael, I know it means always having ones for any aunties that he might take my son to visit to.

And I'm gone. So that's been fun. Yeah, she's like, Michael is the most incredible father. And she's, and yes, she's seen his favorite. And I know with his baby, this baby coming in, Michael is gonna be a great dad. He's just a great, great dad, you know? Just going to the strip club

and making up for the other strippers, you know, so he can learn their stories and apply it to our child, I guess, great dad. I know he's gonna stay a good dad for the second baby too. Oh my God Ashley just leave run She always looks so sad and he always looks miserable. He's doing that whole like or I'd have said my lungs Now I'm just barting my lips and yeah watering my eyes and looking miserable He's just biting and finally you can go back to the MGM casino and they have this very forced You just biting and finally you can go back to the MGM casino and they have this very forced

banter Where she's talking about how she's trying to look pretty for him and he goes? Hey, look at you shit. You got a tiger on there. There's a tiger. Wow Look at the sparks between us. I mentioned the tiger on your shit. Yeah, she's like, yeah, it's really hard to maneuver this new family You know, I just can't imagine as having six children. And he's like, oh my goal, just fucking kill me. And it means just because we'll work through that. Lit mark, lit mark, lit mark. And she says that they haven't had sex

since she was five months pregnant. And I think here we go again, like you said, front loading the excuses for Michael. I'm worried about the season with Ashley. Yeah, because she's like, she's like, well, I thought to myself, since we haven't had seconds of along, it's might as well be gonna cheat on me,

it's gonna be unfaithful. This is not good. These are not questions you wanna have lingering in your relationship, okay? And it seems like she's almost taken on the role of being the cause of those questions, right? Like, well like she's almost taken on the role of being the cause of those questions, right? Like, well, since I can't think about, I can't even imagine having sex right now, but no, I wonder if he's going to cheat on me. It's not, that's

a Michael issue, that's not an Ashley issue. Yeah. And she's like, well, one thing I wanted to do more differently is be open when we're upset. He's like, sure. Sure. Sure. Fully holding back his emotions and whatever's on his mind. She's like, she's like, so do you feel more comfortable sharing your feelings

when you're with Dean? She's like, yep. I feel, yep, yep. Communication. Yep. There's nothing else in my mind right now. Now I'm at a family place, so I'm looking forward to it.

Can I leave now? Please let me just leave now. I need to buy some new Venation Playster again. So, uh, Candace. Yeah, Candace. Um, she just, she just, she just got a light bulb thing so she can change light bulbs. I like that. I like that Candace doesn't have any bright ideas of her own. So she has to just get a pole. Basically it's get an idea that's just way out of her reach. Like she's just in

gable of having one on her own. A light bulb pole. So Jiz comes up at Jiz comes and she's like, wow, George and we see then moved on up. Love that show. And so she gets a tour of the mansion. She's wearing a sunroof mansion. I wrote down a pot. Yeah, yeah. Again, I see a floating head.

I didn't see what she's wearing. It was like a, there's a lot of shine in what she was wearing. So, Naya is Chris's bonus child, as they say, and she comes downstairs, and she's like, hi, I'm Naya. And then she just says, it's just all the rest of the episode.

And she's like trying to communicate with her. She's like, hi, I'm Naya. And then she just says, it's just all the rest of the episode. And just, all is like trying to communicate with her. And she's like, well, you have beautiful eyes on. And Naya just tears at her. Like, I'm just gonna stare at you until you leave our house. I can't just say, yeah, everyone tells me that. And just, all says, so Rwaya, me too. Everyone tells me that too. And she just tears at her.

That, Maya. You know those kids who like will do anything to please you and just make you feel comfortable. That's not Maya. Maya is just gonna, Maya's that kid who you wake up in the middle of the night and she's just standing at the foot of your bed. Like, it's a lot of it.

It's everything okay. It's okay, not yet. So Candice is happy because the kids are in town way longer than they normally get to stay because normally It's just a pre-visit but because of COVID. They're gonna be here for a whole month So you know the kids are like oh my god a month with our crazy stepmother It was the last thing that they wanted and Candace is like well, you know I want to be more comfortable my mom-ness and so far it's been a haze

So I'm just figuring it out as as I go which means that she's probably a terror to those children at all times. Yeah, she's probably the kind who's like do you want to look at pictures from my beauty contest? Yes. Yes. Yeah, so Juzel's like Lord Jesus won't he do it? Finally she done left her mama's purse. So then we see the guest room, which is of course for Dorothy.

And there's something that says, welcome to Dorothy's Diamond Jubilee. It's like a big invitation. And then a life-size blockbuster video cut out of Dorothy right by her bed. Yeah, yeah. They're just lunacy in this entire family. This is just it's I was wondering if there was going to be like maybe like a life size cut out of like a bag that when

you walk in the room, it just like swings up and hits you like it's attached to a string somehow to the door, just right in the face. Dorothy to the face. So then they sit down to talk and we find out that Canvas is in her second semester going for her masters and you know, lottable but still don't like you can't help it. I'm trying to start over with a new season but it's hard with Canvas. You're under no obligation to start over on a new season. Really? No. Why do you have to start over on an anisees. Really? Are under no, why do you have to start over? There's no need. I don't know because it's my-

Start over on the episodes, you know. It feels like everybody should get a fresh chance, but I'm just not feeling it yet. Especially when she asks for food and Chris brings her out cut fruit. Okay, if you ever, don't feed me that. I came all the way to your house, okay? Order me something or make a tuna sandwich, something.

Also this guy, this guy, just always like, so what's he doing with this life? And he's apparently teaching cooking online. So this is what he's gonna pull out. You know, supermarket fruit that's diced up. For crying out loud. If you're on TV and you're trying to promote your online cooking courses,

you better have something much better than this. I mean, at least do that strange case idea French toast or whatever it was that he made last season. You know, at least try that. Yeah, and I also hate doing math. And I feel like these people are making me do math, right? Because he's not really doing, I'm used to doing his online teaching or whatever. But let's be honest, do buy a million dollar house when you're, I think Kansas is studying for her masters.

I'm like, where is this money coming from? Stop making me add stuff up in my hand, and then they have store bought cut fruit, and that's expensive because they didn't even cut their own fruit. So then how much is that? I'm starting to add it all to Catherine. Yeah, and wasn't she doing,

isn't she doing her masters from Howard? Did I catch that right? Yeah, I just tried to remember. I didn't write that. Howard is not like, you know, that's, Howard is like a legitimate esteemed institution and those, it's not cheap. Okay, so I don't understand, I listen,

I'm not here to count other people's pennies, but I am here to count their marble columns. And I don't understand how someone who is teaching online cooking and someone who is going for their masters at Anastin institution is gonna afford a 1.1 million dollar house, but you know what? God bless enjoy it. Yeah, okay So then they start talking about COVID and Chiselle's basically Chiselle is asked about Jamal, and she's like, things are not good. And she says, well, are you gonna break up again?

And she says, well, no, you know, it's just that I need somebody closer to me, and it's COVID, basically. It makes it really hard, even though he's seeing 8,000 people a week, you know, but like, I don't need that around me during COVID. And, you know, he's gotten probably 20% of them pregnant Let's be honest. It's Jamal we're talking about. Okay, Jamal and so Candace is like like but this is temporary when it's over

Like what's the deal and and and just always like listen There's no end date for when it's over. Okay, and Candace has but we have vaccines coming out and So then Candace is doubting all this she She's like COVID. I mean, they've climbed mountains as a couple, which by the way, they have not climbed any mountains whatsoever, maybe a speed bump. I think it's actually, if I'm reading between the lines, I would say that Jaza was like, it's a global pandemic. You need to be here with your family. And if you're, if this is a serious thing, you need to be with us. And he was like, no, I'm going to stay where I'm doing. And I'm gonna keep doing my thing around 8,000 people.

And she probably was like, you can't, if you're gonna do that, you have a family and you can't be doing that, be exposing yourself to so many people. And I'm assuming he said, I'm still gonna do this. And that's why they broke up. In which case, I did you forget the right one, Ian? No, I know, but I'm, no, no, I guess I just got And that's what they broke up. In which case, did you forget the reunion?

No, I know, but I'm, no, no, I guess I just got into an extreme hypothetical of like, of course, the reunion, but I'm saying also, like Candace saying that this was like, not a big deal. I'm like, it is a big deal, actually. I actually think it is a breakup worthy thing. And then of course, there's the reunion too. Yeah, of course, there's possibly impregnating your,

like what Pilates coach or whatever she was. Yeah. Exactly. Oh, that reunion is gold. They played it this weekend. So I got, I got some, all refresh. Yeah, slightly, you know, I had an omelette I was cleaning and stuff, which basically means eating at the kitchen counter. Anyway, so basically, Giselle doesn't want to talk about it too much. She just gets out that they're not doing very well. And so Candace is like, well, I wonder if it's the public embarrassment that might have something to do with it. And then we're... Poster. Yeah, we see clips of the reunion where Karen's like, you know, isn't it Trey, we had a baby with another woman?

You know, isn't it true? We had a baby with another woman. I'm the Monique pulling out the Trapper Keeper. Right. So Candice saying, I wonder for the public embarrassment, that's her subtle way of, of, of basically saying, just, all you should be mad at Karen because, you know, it's that, you lost your relationship because Karen was being terrible at the reunion. That's kind of what the implication was there. So that's Candace being crafty.

Yeah. So then, let's see. Then we see Candace's confessional look where she's got one orange line drawn in the middle of her eyelids. And it's confusing. It's very confusing. I blocked out that trauma. I didn't look at that.

It's crazy. There's this Facebook thing going around where a makeup artist who's super talented does a painting on your face. And so it makes it look like your eyes are above your actual eyes. But then when you open your eyes, you see that was a painting the whole time. Like this. It kind of reminded me of that. Scared me.

Okay. Scary. Okay. Scary. Scary. So, now they're hating on Karen. You know, Jacelle is calling Karen a hater and Candace is saying that she's wilding out. And Candace then says, she just doesn't want to go there with Karen because she loved

Karen like a sister, like an auntie. And then the rug of friendship was ripped from under her. I'm like there was no rug of friendship that was ripped from. She basically was like I don't want to get involved involved in your stupid ass lawsuit and then you took that as a personal thing. You ripped your own rug out from under yourself and guess what? It was a bad rug too. It was a shitty, shitty rug from Marshalls. Okay, I think your mom also probably paid for it. So then Karen and Ray, uh, Ray is coming up the stairs. This Ray does. They make him go up and down a lot of stairs on this show. Yeah, really slowly.

And so they're doing the happy marriage act to you. We're sick. Oh, Ray. Oh, Ray. I noticed the purging is all become my project. Yeah. And he's like, well, that's because everything that's being purged is yours. Oh, Ray, you're hilarious, right? And then we see that one of the things in their purge closet is a guitar, which,

scarcely, I'm not sure who was like, you know what it's COVID, I'm gonna take guitar lessons, but I don't really wanna hear either one of these people practicing their G-Cord, okay? Oh, that was when I was part of the Summoner Rock Group. The Mama's in the Raires. Hmm, I've got a new song I'm coming out with my family members, it's called,

mmm, pop, right? I've got a new song on them and got with my family members. It's called Bob So then she's like well, you know, I wanted to find my wedding Oh Ravens all that way if she gets married you can wear it But she doesn't have to wear it because guess what we'll cut a patch out of it and put it right on there somewhere So she have a patch of me in a gown, right? So they're still gonna renew their vows but she doesn't want to call it renewing your vows because basically a bravo that means you're gonna get divorced and everybody does

it or your marriage is in serious trouble. So she's like, I've come up with a new name for it. It's so nice, we had to do it twice. I'm like, what is it, a croissant? Don't name it that. That's a tagline. It's not a renaming. I'm like, I want to invite everyone to my so nice, we had to do it twice.

What does that mean? No, that's a tagline. That's not a rebrand. So how was your so nice? We had to do it twice. What? So how was your so nice, we had to do it twice? What so how was your so nice we had to do it twice? I couldn't even understand when you said it. That's why it's such a bad brand Oh, I hope you all come are going to us so nice. We had to do it twice

Just call it a remarriage. That's all you have to call it getting on Craigslist all right I need a band for my so nice we had to do it twice is there any so nice we had to do it twice singers here I can be on guitar if you need me to so Karen's I had 25 years yes it's an institution some people ain't together for 25 seconds some people can't get a man out of the phone to shop in person oh we're not gonna do an over the top thing, right? Are we? Are we getting, please? They're scared, please. She's like, oh, hell yes. Ray's like, I have to feed the plant downstairs another human. We're trying to keep a low profile.

So she's like, do you have an objection to my over the topness? And then she tells this crazy story about like, you know, it's funny because Ray actually canceled off his wedding. He got angry because I decided to go travel. And again, he said, you don't get to go travel. Yeah, it took the keys from me. And as evidence of all this, here's a photo of me

with a caption that says, young hot Karen. Yes, that was so cold. The editor is a young hot Karen. Now, this story she tells is very Sonya Morgan, because she says he canceled the wedding because she went traveling and didn't tell him. And so, once she finally came back, he took the ring back.

That's very Sonya, except Sonya, you know, like got divorced or whatever. But yeah, it's that old man. You marry an older man, he wants to know where you are. Okay, they do. They really do. They really do. Well, but now I got the ring and I'm gonna be very modern and take my wedding ring and put it on my doorbell. I hear that's the thing. Ring doorbell! So modern. So, Rae is like, you know, I had it in mind. We could ceremoniously just tell people that we loved each other, you know.

We're a little old for a wedding. I'm just like, oh, speak me of sound. I'm gonna sit on your lap now, Grace. Sit on your lap, Grace. And she says that she's only gonna invite women in their circle that love them. And she says, not a friend, you know in their circle that love them and she says not a friend You know, I had to step back and look at that and I I had that hope for so long and What I found instead was instead of hope I found just a small dark void of nothingness and bad patterns

So then back with Jacelle still shit talking with Candace she's like for last year I did not say one bad thing about Karen. Oh, yeah, you're both angels you and Karen angels. Mm-hmm I said she has enough on her plate. Her husband does not love her She does not like his ding dong and of course, you know if you give her too much of a plate. She eats everything on it So I said let me leave her alone with a sad, sad marriage with a broken penis. I was watching Grillhouse as a Potomac clips on YouTube the other day just because you know, that's that's how I roll and I forgot that their longest running fight from before the show was even on was over a cookie contest like a baking contest.

Oh, yeah. A caring accuses Jiselle of cheating in the cookie contest, and Jiselle accuses Karen of cheating in the cookie contest. So I forgot to think going out for like a decade. Yeah, they really have been. So Jiselle says, well, if you want to make up lies, I can just tell you're true, Tha. You're not gonna make up lies about me and my family for a year and it's cooler, it's not

Chisel that chef is on the blog. So nobody's making it up I mean unless the bloggers are but it's not like someone's just making it up. You're with Jamal Jamal's a piece of crap. Okay, he did this to you once before He had you were the one who is spreading this stuff beforehand until you decide that you wanted him back in your life Okay, this is not crazy. This is not Karen's fault. Yeah so then Candace is like, well, you know there is a lot that can be said about Karen Hmm, and she's a lot of us. Yes, saw and Candace says can you let me know the day you do this so can have my heart hat on? Thank you

So then we go back to Karen and she's like, you know had on. Thank you. So then we go back to Karen and she's like, you know, she's Mr. Agar towards me and she needs the director towards the man that hurt her. And then we see clips come up on the screen that say Jamal hints that he's single. And then another one says Jamal got on live and confirmed everything Monique said about him. And so then Karen's phone starts to ring and she's like okay, right my phone's ringing so I'm gonna sit on your lap as any wife with a wonderful marriage would do look at me just look at our Chemistry 25 year institution chemistry. I'm just gonna sit on your lap and oh, I'm sliding off a little bit Ray you gotta hold up your knee a little bit stronger for me, right? I can't feel it. I can't feel it.

Okay, alright, alright. I'm okay. I still have an ankle on your knee, but my butt is on your ankle. This is not the look I'm looking for. I can't feel it. Okay, so we're just gonna, we're just gonna pull over that rope and I'm just gonna hold myself. Look at this natural, natural on your lap. Feed me to the plant. He'll be a dandas. That's a resume job. So then we see all the housewives getting the invitation

to this nude party. Yes. Wendy is squatting on a wall party. The nude interlude. The nude interlude. And Karen's like, what is that? Uh oh Ray, Ray, Ray. Where are my glasses? I want to see it closer. She's like, do not look at Wendy that close, Ray. Let me see it again. No Wendy is not in the motor car. And you cannot make her larger on your phone, Ray. So, um then Robbins looking at it, she's like,

oh, hey Wendy, I don't know what this is, but why can't you just say, come over. Yes, and let's see, who's next? I brought a lot of stuff down. I brought a lot of stuff. I was just looking at it. And then we go, we wind up going with, and Wendy and Eddie are arriving at like a doctor's office and

Wendy has new boobs because she was breastfeeding and So she wanted to do this for herself and so she says being a professor being a commentator You're supposed to fit in a certain box and I said I don't want to fit in that box Which is why I got large breasts to literally bust down one side of the box's wall Yeah, and then they show her the little a box on screen, like on MSNBC. Yeah. She's like, I want to be my authentic self, which is why I changed my face and my boobs. I want to be my authentic self by putting silicon inside me. Yeah. I mean, listen, I'm all for it. We should all look better. I want to boop. I want to have a boob. I'm for it.

Like, I want a boob lift and a facelift and all that stuff. But when I do it, I'm not going to walk around like, I did this so I can be more my authentic self. No. I know. My authentic self is like licking the bottom of a domino's box, you know, and like showing my butt cracks of the neighborhood every time I take out the trash.

That's my authentic self. Yeah, authentic self is saying, you know what, I just saw myself on TV for a year and I think I want bigger boobs, because I didn't like how I looked. Yes, this is it. So then Dr. Michaels comes in and then like Wendy's sort of, she's in her, like this rope thing and they open it up

and he's examining post-ops kind of stuff and we're seeing like a full on scar. We're just seeing what appears to be like, I would imagine like a tummy tuck scar. I could be wrong, watch everyone be like, that is a scar that you get when you have a baby. A serian. It's probably a serian.

See, say, scar. Yeah, watch me being like, it's a tummy tuck. Okay, I've shamed myself, everyone. I've got my son. That's like a tummy untuck. That's a serian. Okay, I've I've shamed myself, everyone. I'm like, I'm stuck. That's a serious. The mommy. That's a gut on your, that's all your guts were just on the table.

Tuck. Yeah. Well, listen, I'm not shaming the scar. I'm just the point is that she is being very coy about having other other stuff done. And she's acting like that. She only had her boobs and nothing else. But then they like zoom in close on a scar So it's almost like Bravo was saying look a scar. She's lying Well she's saying if I had worked on I would admit it. I don't need to lie. I'm like, okay Well, we'll hold that we'll hold you to that Kyle Richards

Yeah, yeah, be honest Just be honest, you know, I think it's unfair for all these people having surgery I mean play fair ladies my right cows infamous season one line So Wendy Wendy's gonna be like well, I I really only want to get my boobs done, but then Michael Myers threw a cement block at my butt. So I had to get that done also Yeah, I was hitting the chest when I was watching Halloween now all all this said, like all teasing of Wendy aside, a great glow up. She looks amazing. Yeah, I agree.

I mean, I thought she looked amazing beforehand, to be honest, but I think this was, it looks great, great work. It doesn't look like a crazy person. So, you know, well done. Yeah. So then we go to Robin and she's trying to parallel park, you know, because that's a Robin storyline. That's a very that's very on-brand for Robin, you know, parallel parking, trying to make a left turn on a bit across a busy street.

There's no opening one. So she's at at one she's with one at sunset raw It's nothing sounds more romantic than that the minute they open the door. He's like smells like veggies in here Who'd have thought who thought a veggie place would smell like that so Then the producer says okay got asked again Then the producer says, okay, gotta ask again. When are you guys getting married? And she's like, well, a pandemic hit and we're building a home in virtual school with two boys. It's an nightmare.

You know, one day we'll have a wedding, but right now it's not first on our to-do list. So Juan is keeping his mask on in the restaurant. She's like still too scared. Okay, well, listen, I just want us to be healthy, you know, but at the same time our kids are eating chick filet every day and he's like, yeah, and you know what? That makes me crazy.

You know what you need to do? Wake up. You need to wake up because all you do is sleep in. Okay, this is your routine. Sometimes you don't start the day till 2 p.m. She's like, oh, say 12. That sounds 12 sounds better. He's like, oh my god. Yeah, it's like,

I don't like that. It's a turn off. I actually didn't like him dressing her down for this because what Robin says next is actually probably one of the most real things we've heard on any of these shows about the pandemic. The pandemic has kind of been this incidental thing on Bravo, where they now have to wear masks or like, oh, a vacation plan gets messed up. But Robin tells us, she goes, you know what, I've just been burnt out. You know, pandemic is meshing together. It's every day, these are just like meshing together. There's nothing to look forward to, nothing to get dressed for. I could see, and I just felt like that has been the experience for so many people. and it was like the first time that that's really been addressed on Bravo

and I also feel like it's such a real thing that people are going through so that for one to be like, get up, get up, it's not a try to get up. I thought it was actually a little... Yeah, she's depressed as hell. Geez. Yeah, I didn't think that was... I thought that was, I know he was trying to give tough love, but I felt like it was incredibly unsympathetic at that moment. Yeah, and she's like,

what I'm overwhelmed and I shut down. And he's like, you know what would make it better? And that kid that we've been wanting, that kid, hey, how about you fucking marry her before you ask her for twins, okay? Just because you want little girls, okay? I don't think you're in the place to be asking for anything at this point, sir, okay?

Exactly. And you went with yourself to get a free ring on TV. Does not mean that suddenly you're like the good guy and we're all rooting for you. No, sir. Yeah, and and and then he's like guilty and heard about like, oh, a little girl would have been the churren on top and now we can't because you wake at the 10 a.m. For crying out loud. How about now we can't because you fucking cheated. Okay. Let's go back there and you don't get to just tell your wife who's just told you she's like extremely depressed to get off her ass so she can give you some more children. When you're not even giving her the wedding, she's been asking you for for 60 years. Yeah.

If this is supposed to be some sort of motivational shit or some like basketball coaching You know motivation. It's it's not it's it doesn't it doesn't read well. I'll tell you that much Yeah, um, and he says sleeping can't be your number one priority. Oh really? And that's when I just started backing up my chair like I was in a saloon Wasn't he in a funk like this? Wasn't he in a funk like this a few seasons ago? I maybe, I maybe remembering him correctly, but I could have sworn.

He was also in a like unemployed, you know, funk, not doing anything with his life, you know, and then he finally got the coaching job, right? Or am I just now just angry and I think so. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, sure. Let's just say it is. Yeah, I think so. So then we go to Candace with her bonus family in the kitchen with Chris and Naya is still

there refusing to give any smiles. Yeah. What? And her face is like all blue. So basically she drank some Gatorade and her tongue is blue, but then she also has like a Gatorade mustache and no one bothers to wipe it off. This is where I feel like Candice is failing as a bonus mother is that her bonus daughter

has a blue mustache on her face on national TV and she doesn't even bother to wipe it off. Wow, those are kids though. You know, they're always stained with something. I know I'm, I know the kids are old with something. Well, maybe that, but I'm just saying, just saying I feel like if okay, here's my theory I feel like if it were Candace's own biological daughter She would be wiping every single smudge off her on camera

But because it's not her own she just lets her her other daughter have a blue mustache Well, then I hope that it becomes true that Maya does stand at the edge of the bed, just scaring them in the middle of the night. And no mother. I love my blue mustache theory, like the most inessential theory of all time. Yeah, you're really upset about the blue mustache. I'm not upset about the blue mustache.

I'm upset that Candace, I have worked it up in my mind that Candace would give preferential dream into a theoretical other child. That's all I'm upset about. That in my mind there is another child and they can't just wipe it off. If you're pre-made about future season Candace, the future mustaches on other children. So Chris is going to make a sauce and I'm waiting for him to open like a jar of ragu, you know, because I'm still mad about the cut fruit. So then they talk about how, you know, this is a

challenge for Candice, you know, because she's now learning to raise these kids during a pandemic and they have homeschool and stuff. So she's helping Naya with her homework and Mateo's there to her son. So they're sitting there looking over this homework and they start reading through the problems and it's like there are 28 more students than adults at the school fair and there are 96 adults. How many Moniques fucked over the entire school? Yes, anyone who wants to take this. How many adults pretend to sleep

while other adults walked away and we have goodbye? She goes, this is like an SAT question. I'm like, it's literally just subtraction. Yeah, you're going for your masters, at least, you're going to solve this one. Okay, could you please put some effort into this? You just plugged Howard University. Like, it makes some kind of effort.

I know. As the first of a few math problems that we get this episode. So then, you know, do Candace and Chrissy kids running around the house one day? Maybe, but Candace doesn't trust penises. And she's like, well, as my mom said, I would be your fourth baby mom.

I was like, God, third, third, not fourth for crying out. Get away from my kid's math homework. I can't even get my math right. So then we go back to Chiselle's West Wing. And everybody's basically getting ready for this nude party. And she's trying to put on a pink dress and grace is like, uh, that's pink. Did you go sometimes on pink? And she's like, no, a pink dress and grace is like, uh, that's pink. Did you go sometimes on pink? And she's like, no, you're not pink.

Okay? Nude. Nude, my, my. Yeah. And then we get sort of like a remix of the, uh, Britney and Jay-X with their dog putting, uh, where we have Ashley putting sunglasses on baby Dean. And instead of saying, you're a cool guy.

It's like, cool baby. Why don't you have that cool baby? Cool baby. You're cool guy. You're cool guy.'re a cool guy. It's like, cool baby. Why don't you hide out cool baby? Cool baby. You're cool guy. You're cool. It's wrong. I know. I'm a cool baby. Now, get out of here. Mother, I've invited some whores over because they're gonna like give me some baby food. So then Robyn's house, of course, there's a pillow fight. And Carter takes a minute out to just criticize her outfit love that kid Yeah, and then so you still turning to them for fashion advice, which is a problem and then back at canvass's house

We see that she's getting ready and she says it just keeps coming out. What does that mean? What was she talking about? Pipping Really? Yes, she was in oh And then we see a close up of a champagne glass with gum on the rim. I did not notice the gum on the rim. Again, that was my again, more trauma that I've locked out. I don't like looking at gum in places. I like gum. Then we go to Wendy singing. She's so excited for her party and she's got party planners over there

and she's got little cupcakes made to look like boobies. Yeah, so she and Eddie invite the kids up from the basement to have cupcakes and they like, okay, close your eyes, close your eyes and guess what? Look at what you have and they open their eyes and the kids by the way, they're so cute and they're wearing these t-shirts that say

I'm with Cupid. I don't even understand why it doesn't seem like, I don't understand why they're wearing those shirts, but I thought it was cute that they were. And so then they're like, so what do you think this cupcake is? What does it look like? What does it look like? And the kids just stare at it and you're thinking for a moment, like, are they just going to say, breasts?

What's going on here with these kids in this family? But they just say chocolate. They say chocolate. They're like, we raised you well. So then the first to arrive is Giselle. And she's like, I knew that Wendy was Nigerian. I just didn't know she lived in Nigeria. Those are the kind of jokes you make under awnings.

That's why my face is so young. And she's like, and Wendy, you're clearly stuck in customs because you're not at the front door to greet me. Where you at? So it's a classic, Potomac situation where someone is upstairs and everyone has to wait downstairs at a party. I mean, that goes back to the very, the series premiere. Yeah. And the class. But at least, J, I didn't go up this time.

You see, just I learned. She learned that it's, she has to stay downstairs or she should come in and go, if that upon, is that upon? And she's just tumbles on the stairs on a hoverboard. So then, um, uh, so then Robbins next and the chef, I thought it was the chef at first, but I think he's just like a guy. He actually wasn't the chef because it was a lady who was a chef. He's just a guy who helps out.

So he opens the door and offers like welcomes her to the nude interlude and Robbins comes in and Jazzell starts doing that hammy thing where to play up the fact that the host isn't there. So she's like, let me take your coat, come on over here. I'll take your coat, the host now. And they're looking over the name tags on the table. And Rob is like, who's Mia? It's like, do you know that bitch? I don't know that bitch.

Yeah. And then we cut to Mia. Mia with, Mia with Karen, who's in a front for. Yes. And they're on the way. And Karen is like, Mia's a boss. We met through a business acquaintance. And it turns out that Mia owns several franchises

of the joint car practice. And I don't know why that cracked me up. There's nothing wrong with owning franchises of the joint car practice, but I guess it's just the way that Karen was talking about her like this amazing entrepreneur who went on to shark tank and launched something that's revolutionized daily American life as she just owns various joint car practice. You know. I'm going to show a clip of Karen getting an adjustment and of course

you hear crack and Karen's like hmm like when I first met Ray. Yes when I was met Ray he put me on Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm because Karen's saying, well, you know, I talked to Wendy and I asked her if it was polite for me to be my friend of the body. And of course, Wendy said it was hard. Hello. So then we cut to that bunch of Karen's like, well, Wendy, I think that we just didn't get to know each other. I mean, we had a lot of women interfering with us getting to know each other. And Wendy goes, I just feel like we come from different times and the music just stops. Okay. So yeah, because Karen says that she wants to talk to Wendy, woman to woman, and reset the button, not push the reset button, but just reset the button entirely. I just want a different

type of button than here. Okay. So then I love the Wendy's just like, um, you're old. That's why. Yeah, exactly. And Karen also says things again. She's like, well, you know what I love about Mia is that I love that we're both entrepreneurs. We like to play and, uh, you know, she shares her ideas about business and she's a little quirky, she told her package. She really, she really gets to the joint. Other point I should say.

So then she's telling Mia, well, this is my first time at her home with this ride because apparently Wendy lives, you know, like an hour and a half from everybody else super far, like close to freaking Pennsylvania. And so they find, so they're just, it's like Karen thinks it's like a hundred miles away or something.

So they're just, it's like Karen thinks it's like a hundred miles away or something. So they're just riding and then Ashley arrives and, um, and she's basically like, were we supposed to come at a different time? Like, where's the hose? Like, what's going on here? Maybe Jacelle says that. So Jacelle and Robin, they take Ashley's code and welcome, welcome her into the, into the home. Yes.

And then Wendy announces from upstairs that she's coming down for whatever reason. So then she comes down and, um, who cares? Can we just get to the meat here? Where are we? Karen, can I skip to Karen? Okay. Yeah. So back in the car, Karen's like, well, I can't wait for you to meet everyone.

This is a Karen monologue. I love a Karen monologue. I can't wait for you to meet everyone. I'm most excited to see Candace. I haven't seen her in a while. Well, our relationship has been through a lot. I'm looking for a new direction. The most I'll do is take her temperature.

I don't want, you know, she's been through a lot. Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. Pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft, pfft. Which has been through a lot, hmm? Yeah, she's been through a lot. And, you know, I'm just so excited to be here with me, a business entrepreneur. I just seen her on the front of Forbes Cooperactor magazine. So you were starting your own businesses me starting my

businesses you meeting Jacelle, Jacelle, hating new younger people. Well that's what's gonna happen because that's how J's that is and you know She's never received a new younger woman, but well, maybe it could work for you Me cold towards you Mia business entrepreneur so then Ashley As she tries to put on some like nice shoes and and you know, she's like swole her ankles are swollen Etc. And just a little nk and Robin are like, Ashley, like, why are you doing that? She's like, I just want to look nice.

Like, Ashley, please, please, just sit down, put on your flats. So then, just a little starts asking, so this Mia personna, is that your friend da? And Wendy's like, no, that's Karen's friend. Oh, that's's nice Karen needs friends hello hello hello is me Karen on trip and war just wanted you to introduce you to my friend me who's very similar to me and that she's a woman who owns multiple businesses

yeah I'm just like hi Wendy thank you so much for having me in your home. And just all just stairs at her just nasty ass there from the couch. Yeah, she's like, um, well, Karen comes in and here's what needs to happen. She's been talking about me and my family. You need to apologize to me immediately. And she needs to run up to me and say girl, I'm sorry I bumped my head and redo love me. Yeah, I lost my head. So, um, I bumped my head and redo from love me. So, Jacelle goes, uh, she says, but you're going to sound down in a ball gown and not say a word. Yeah, no, I'm cool on you. I'm like, Jace She has to say hi to the She has to say hi to the host first before she starts ignoring you like give her that So then the girls are just sitting around they're like they're just trying to figure out what the hell is a new interlude and They just that they start asking out immediately a Wendy's like what no for play and me goes am I the for play?

I don't mind. I'm like, okay, okay me Okay, me. She's going to hate this girl totally. So Karen's like, well, me is just like me. Entrepreneur, go watch it. Thirty, gorgeous. Entrepreneur, 29 years old. Yeah, and she's 29. And me, I go, I own the Joint Chiropractic and I have several offices up and down the East Coast.

So she says that as if she actually owns the joint chiropractic organization or business, right? But she just owns the franchises and she's like, I have three kids, 12, 5, 3, boy boy girl. I have a penthouse on the Baltimore Harbor. I know how to drive a car. I've had a license. My favorite food is peas.

Yes, peas. I actually really enjoy peas and I have a watch They're like, are you Southern? I hear a twang. It's like, oh, we have a home in North Carolina Oh, good. I love that they just like they're like, okay, we got rid of Monique But we need to have someone else who just like pretentiously brags about everything that they have like bring on me Yeah, bring on me. Yeah, and she's when he's like, well, I'm from Durham and she goes, oh, my grandchildren live there. And they're like, what grandchildren?

She's like, oh, yeah, my husband is 38 years older than I am. And they're like, oh, wow. And Mia's, me as well, you know, when I met him, he'd, it's, it's not like he acts like he's 68. And so Robin's like, well how old are you if you don't mind me asking. Also how late do you sleep? Amea's like, she looks very stunned at someone who asks

that, she goes, um, 36. And then they put math up on the screen, but they do it like, it's a slow math. Like the numbers sort of, erotic, sort of like fold into the screen very, very slowly. As if it's like the first time of arrived because we're like fold into the screen very very slowly as if it's like the first time I ever felt like font was making fun of what was going on on screen like font's like um here's a number and here's another number okay font um yeah because the math isn't right

right so if he is 38 years old uh oh here we go, 68 minus 38 is 30 and she said she's 36 and she goes, Oh, oh, oh, no, he's 30 years older. And so then they do another slow math, which is 68 minus 30 equals 38. So the girls are still like, okay. He's like, I don't do math, guys, okay? And then she goes, well, that's just basic arithmetic. Candace is like, is this the S.H.E.?

This subtraction is so difficult right now. So then Wendy's like, well, welcome to nude interlude. Now during quarantine, I thought, what does Wendy want? Who is Wendy? And, you know, there was a point in my life, I realized that I'm living for my kids, not for me. And when I was done pumping, I said, what do I want to do?

Me, Wendy, who is Wendy? Am I Wendy? I'm Wendy. I said, hey, Wendy, what do you want to do today? And Wendy was like, what do you want to do? And I was like, no, you. And she's like, I have to pump. And I was like, that's for the kids.

So I started deciding what I was gonna know. No, no, no. It goes on for like hours, the story. And just all, just like, just land the plane, nah, Wendy, land the plane. And the plane. So Wendy says, I wanna introduce you to my new friends, happy Ness.

And she stands up and takes off her robe and there her new boobs, happy and Ness. And she stands up and takes off her robe and there are her new boobs, happy and Ness. And she goes, I got my boobs done and some tweaks. And so they're all like, woo, you know, and they're all, you know, they're all excited. But they also, they're also suspecting that when you got more than just boobs done. Right. So they're trying to ask her what, what she got. And Robin tells us, well, I don't believe that. You know, so your oh, I don't believe that. You know, show your boobs, show your butt. We all know there was nothing back there.

And now there's something back there. She starts cracking up. And so Robin's like, is it your face? Is that your tweak? And Karen's like, hmm, it looks refreshed. Hmm. Hmm. It looks refreshed like a reset button. Hmm. Hmm. Yeah, they show side by side of Wendy's butt last season and then this season. So then they all wind up going over to the table to sit down. Yeah, they show side by side of Wendy's butt last season and then this season. So then they all wind up going over to the table, all to sit down and Ashley's asking if Wendy will cover up her boobs for class.

And Wendy's talking about how like her boobs only pop, it's in clothes like what she's wearing right now and Karen says, well, you know, confidence is everything. I'm feeling it. I can tell. Wow, I feel so much confidence coming from your breasts and her ownership of the John Carrow Procetic business woman and When these like I just want people to understand that I have layers. I'm not just smart and successful I can also be sexy. So me it goes well, what else did you have done? And she's like um tweaks

What if you had done kind of getting defensive? Yeah, you just had a party based on your tweaks and your boobs. So, and you also said in this episode that if you did have something done, you would just admit it because that's a kind of person you are. Yeah, so she does very, very sort of a sort of a snappy way to kind of try to turn it on Mia.

You know, so Mia goes, oh, I get Botox every four weeks to get my fillers, like on my lips, up my four boobs, my tummy tuck, and my aston, you know, I even have my clit worked on. And they're like, oh, clit. Yeah, she was like, I own it, okay. And Wendy's like, well, okay, well, I haven't done those things that you just listed.

Okay, you can't be plastic surgery-shaming someone. The second you show up looking completely different. At a plastic surgery party, you can't. The nude interlude. Redefine is sexy, but. Yeah, you can't do that. The women are all just like, just thinking about how much sex Mia's had and ashes like, well, that thing's been beat to a pulp.

That's all I can really deduce. So the woman who was like, starred last season by announcing that her, her like, ainess is ripped in half. So then, so Wendy is, Wendy tells everyone that that can't just is sick and Robyn's like, I think she just didn't wanna be here. I mean, maybe she's just not ready to be in your presence.

Yeah, yeah, Karen. And Wendy's like, you guys just need to have a one-on-one. And Wendy's like, you guys just need to have a one-on-one. And she's like, well, I'm not gonna ignore the fact that, which is deeply hurt. I mean, you have to think what I mean, what I'm running my, do 20 businesses being 30. I think how she do it, you know what,

our friendship is worth the conversation. And Wendy's like, I just hope that collectively you can all be in a great place. And Juzal goes, well, that might be a little difficult. Da. And Ashley says, well, it's good to have goals. And Wendy is like, well, why would it be so difficult, Juzal? Well, we all know I can't stand to Karen, so. I guess I just can't run, boys.

But, you know. The feeling is mutual. The feeling is mutual. So I've decided to tell the whole voice, but you know. The feeling is mutual. The feeling is mutual. So I've decided to tell the whole truth, your whole truth and nothing but it. Karen's like, I don't want this. She goes, me and Drunk Karen will probably never be good, me and Drunk Karen.

Yeah, she says, I'm gonna tell you all truth. Your drunk truth, your achieving truth. Your broke truth and Karen's like, oh, you want to talk about your firebox? How your firebox is broken so you can't keep a man with firebox and firebox, red and fire, fire, fire, the bomb. Hot box, you're just shut up, just shut up with your hot box and just like, you know what, I'm gonna sped it out

to overtime, I'm gonna do it all tonight, over time. Over the course of the season if you will. Yeah, and all the girls are like, what's a fiery box? What is that? And Wendy's like, are you talking about a Gucci on fire? Yeah, she has a hot box. Tell everybody what's going on between those legs of yours,

hot box. Are you a gynecologist? Let's stick to the tips and what's between the legs. Wendy says. And so it just sells like, my box is called the Wapbox and yours is dry. And I take a Wapbox over a dry box any day of the week. Hane! So it's doing her drag queen. Hane! Anishan family carman is so excited. She's like, you would pay off.

So it just sells like, she's obsessed with my kuchi because we all know the ding dong at her house is broken. What you will not do is disrespect my hashpan. all know the ding dong at her house is broken nah what you will not do is disrespect my house ban when you're ding dong it's in everyone else's vagina it just happens at least it works you don't have a man you're broken off from Hampton University and everybody knows it and that's why we want to sing sing like I don't even understand what that sentence means. Like everything about that sentence does not,

like every phrase, every predicate there does not make sense. And yet all together, it's one of the most amazing things that ever came out of Karen's house. I'm not. I don't understand what that, okay. So breaking it down, fire box, fire box.

So she's saying she has an STD or something, right? I'm assuming that's what that is. Okay. So then she's saying she has an STD or something right? I'm assuming that's what that is Okay, so then she's saying like everybody knows you got an STD from Jamal and then Just else says well your husband is impotent and then Karen says no Your husband sting dong. Well, that's obvious isn't everyone's vagina at least it works because your husband is impotent And then you don't have a man, you're a broken whore from Hampton University. That's why the Hampton University being dragged into that out of nowhere. Yeah, and then everyone knows it, and that's why we went to Singsync.

So did Jizelle go to prison? What? That's what I'm trying to do, is that's what she's trying to say, that Jizelle, did Jizelle go to prison with that before or after a Hampton University? A lot of higher education. Yeah. Karen was on Watch Your Happens Live, so of course I had to watch it. And she just will not answer her questions so funny.

And he's like, so what did you mean when you said hotbox? And she's like, my everyone knows what that means Andy. And what I meant was what everybody knows, and that's a hotbox. And Jisela has a very hot box, and that said, that, that everyone knows it. He's like, okay. So then, then he's like, okay, so what were you saying about sing-sing? He was reading her lines, you know, to her, back to her. And she's like, well, sing-sing.

Everyone knows what sing-sing is, Andy. Everyone knows what sing-sing. And that's what I said. She's from sing-sing. When she's sing-sing, gone to sing-sing. It's like, but sing-sing's a prison. She goes, oh, well, I didn't know what sing-sing was. I just thought it was loony-bing.

Andy, I was just trying to make a like moment out of a very dark time in our lives. That was classic. So I watched that just to find out what the hell she was talking about, trying to make a like moment out of a very dark time in our lives. Classic. And so I watch it just to find out what the hell she was talking about. And she still won't say. So who knows? Nope. Well, that's her. That's her, you know, in a nutshell.

That was so funny. You're just a broken down whore from Hampton University. Oh, it's so good. Justice for Hampton University. And that's's so good. Justice for Hampton University. And that's the end of the episode. It's another 2B continued, as usual. I mean, everything on Bravo is 2B continued. So that's it for the episode.

We'll be back later probably today or early tomorrow, some point with our Shaws of Sunset recap. And then again, the rest of our schedule will be below deck med, Real Housewives of New York and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. And our bonus this week is part two of our Big Brother cast Flash Judgments, Snap Judgments, which is really fun if you watch Big Brother. So go check that out on Patreon and we'll catch you on the next episode everyone.

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