Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Gloria Swampsons

Episode Date: June 11, 2019

The Real Housewives of Potomac are still in NOLA to celebrate Gizelle's dad's birthday. Karen and Candiace don turbans to duke it out with their enemies and we learn a new line of defense involving beignets. To hear this week's bonus episode "Chillin With Taylor Strecker" and to find Crappens on Demand video recaps, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Martini Medicine" "Team LVP" and "DooooooRINDA!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! **Crappens Live is coming to Pittsburgh, Baltimore, Nashville, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Charlotte and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crabbing. So podcast about all that crap we do love to talk about on Yeal Browse. I'm Ronny Karem, you can also find me over on the Rose Pricks Bachelor at Roast Podcast. And here I am with Ben! Mandelka, who is of the real housewares of kitchen Ireland which you can find on L.YouTube. Hi, Ben! Hi, I'm so close to getting the new episode up. I just have to like animate their little mouths as they talk so it'll probably up tomorrow or Wednesday. So who

notes? Maybe even... whoa! Who knows, we just got back from a whirlwind trip to do two live shows in Milwaukee and Minneapolis, and they were so much fun. Thank you so much to everyone who came out. I mean, we sold the theater out of Rosé. Someone worked at one of this, I mean, we've already, like, the maniacs it shows. That was really a good weekend.

So thank you, everyone, who came out. Yeah, and thank you to everyone who gave us lovely little gifts and snacks and things like that. That's just so nice of you guys to do. We always feel so welcomed and what a great trip to the heartland, right? What a great trip. Yes, I got a little painting of Bueller. It's amazing. That was thank you for that. I'm an old. That was text. I'm a squirted out salties. Okay, so those life shows are really good times. So if you guys want to come, we have some coming up. Whoa, in July, we are going to three different places right in a row. It's going to be a whirlwind, another whirlwind. We're going to Cleveland, Ohio, Pittsburgh, PA, and Baltimore, Maryland on the 25th, 26th, 27th. Now,

Pittsburgh is sold out, but we still got tickets over for Cleveland and Baltimore. So get yo tickets. Then in September, we're in Nashville, Tennessee. And in November, we're in Indianapolis. And then we've got two shows, the following couple of weeks in New York City, two shows in a night. One is sold out, one is not.

So grab some tickets and also St. Louis, Missouri. And December. And you know what, we're adding a new city, Mannyana, tomorrow, keep an eye out on our social media. It's the big one. It's big, it's actually, we've been told this theater is like a significant theater, and it's like a really cool get for us.

So we're excited to announce that tomorrow. Yes, and we have got so many shirts on sale right now other than the Watch It Crap and Smurch, which I mean, that's what I was saying. You can get, Duh, Renda. Shirts from Real Housewives of New York. You can get Monteney Medicine from Southern Charm

and you can also get a team MVP shirt. I can't go to the reunion. You can get all of those for the next couple of weeks over at CrappinSumerch.com or just find ticket links, everything over at watchupcrapins.com. Also, there's free shipping until the 14th on orders over 45 or more. So go get those things. Okay, everybody, thanks to everybody who bought them. It is so fun to go to the show and see so many people wearing our merch, okay? Makes this teary eyed.

Yeah, wow. I really, we're gonna get into Potomac, but I really have to say, I was like a little bit on a high from this weekend. I thought both cities were amazing, and everyone just treated us so nicely and so well, and it was just great I love doing these live shows, so we're really excited to come see you guys

So yeah, we're really grateful to have this chance to travel around We really do love it and every single time you know We thought maybe we'll get sick of it or maybe we'll get sick of each other Yeah, but we really don't you know we we really love it and we get closer which is weird and Because we're already pretty close. And so it's really fun. So, you know, thanks for giving us the dude feels. I personally came home and was like, don't speak to me.

You don't look at me. I couldn't move. I bet I was so there was bringing a bueller back and I fell asleep on the couch. I was struggled because, you know, when I got home, I sort of hit the ground running at all these things I had to do and then I had dinner last night and by the time I got home

And by the time I was like ready to settle into watch Potomac. It was like 11 15 or 11 30 because my boyfriend had some people over here. They were watching the Tonys so I was like this was a little bit of a struggle for me to watch not because the show is bad But I was exhausted and I'm a little you know We're gonna see what my notes are like there's probably gonna be like and then Karen went off on a unicorn and drove to uh Detroit. You know that was funny that you say that because Karen did go off on the unicorn

scale. Okay it wasn't just me. That could happen on this show. Karen will just start yelling at anybody like she saved up this yelling for a long time and now it's like over Ben Yees fast food play you know. Which is where it should long time, and now it's like over Ben Yees, fast food play. You know, my dad should have an outdoor restaurant where she's like, and for the mom. That's when I'm most likely to yell at you, Ronnie, if it's the morning,

and I haven't really had my coffee yet, and there's like a Ben Yee around, but I haven't quite been able to eat it yet. I'll be like, fuck it, I'm frustrated, I'm gonna take it out on Ronnie right now. And I reacted the same way that she's dealt us. I drink some chocolate milk and dip a donut into it And then all I hear is

You just stuff a banyan my mouth. I'm like oh Ronnie. You're my best friend Oh, wait, I just want to give one other say one other thing Which is at the minion miniapolis show we love to give a shout out to our premium and super premium sponsors If they're in the audience and we did not realize that Jamie, no namey was there, which was great because Jamie has been actually, like, she has been a listener of this podcast and like, reader of our blogs since like, 2004 or five. So, sorry, Jamie, we didn't give you a big shout out.

Yeah, cool to meet you, Jamie. I'd love you, girl. Yeah. Okay, Potomac. Potomac. Now that we're done with our Tony speech, after winning for frozen Craig is very excited somewhere wow my favorite

Frozen heart the musical Starring Ronald well, it's funny Hades town did win and Hades town is a great way to describe the cast of Potomac sometimes Yeah, no kidding they're bringing Hades Town to no love. Yeah. So, yeah, we're right where we left off last week, which is Ashley and Candace having a drunken fight over Ashley drinking when she claims that she's trying to get pregnant. And everyone's basically coming down on Candace. And I'm oddly on Candace's side,

not because I don't think it's, I think you're totally allowed to drink when you're trying to get pregnant, but mainly because Ashley went out of her way to this whole rigmarole about like, I'm putting on socks, I'm not drinking, I'm doing yoga, I'm eating tree leaves. You know, so it's like, don say all that shit make me listen to your whole

Spiel and then you're drinking Corona's one after the other Well, girl you could do whatever you want. You're still trying to have a baby with 90 year old sperm You know what I mean? It's like me when I'm like I'm a vegetarian I'm eating 500 calories a day and then I smoke a carton of cigarettes, you know like real healthy there, buddy Yeah, my friend shamed you for that this weekend? It was hilarious. Yeah.

Well, you know, so does life. That's just so that's just how it works. So, I've got plenty of shame. Pack it on. I'm like a shame packed meal. Yeah. If we didn't have shame, we would not be able to do this podcast. This podcast is just a projection of our shame, okay?

I think everyone should realize that, right? Yeah. And also, people on the internet went crazy this week because Candace told the story about how her mom used to diagnose her at the table and called her by polar when she was 10, and that really shaped her life. Well, first of all, you're an asshole, okay? So that's really all she needed to diagnose, you ask. And second of all, is my the only one who has a mother

that diagnosis them with like nine million diseases. I'm fine Yeah, I'm like obsessive compulsive manic depressive, you know psychotic Social pathic. I mean she's throwing them all at me, and I'm just fine You know just here's what you do if you have feelings bits of mustard on them and eat them like an even normal person. Yeah It's good way to put it good way to put it. Yeah, stop your normal person. Yeah. Yeah. It's a good way to put it. Good way to put it. Yeah, stop your bitching. Yeah.

So anyway, so yeah, Jizzell is basically like, Candice, you know what? You just need to be a friend right now. Be a friend right now. Which is like, since when is Jizzell ever taken that advice? I mean, the queen of not being a friend right now. Do you remember the press conference? The quote of the old press conference?

And that's one thing I have in common with Jacelle is that she can give really good advice, but she takes none of it. She's probably one of the worst people, like has a human being on the show, but God, she gives a good advice. She always has. But man, yeah, she's a hypocrite.

And then Candace starts going on this. Candace is like always in a turbine and she's, she's a hypocrite. And then Candice starts going on this. Candice is like always in the turbine and she's always making grand speeches about everything. And her speeches just are repeating things over and over. So right now she is friendship requires reciprocation. Friendship requires reciprocation. Friendship requires, I'm like, I'm going to kill this girl. someone hit her. Yeah Please repeating over again. She's like you don't know this I have Ashley I have invited Ashley to be friends. It's like oh Candice Dillard has formally invited Ashley to be friends via paperless posts and Sadly, it was just not like not accepted apparently.

Yeah I'm actually it's like you invited me one time one time you took me somewhere and you went to her restaurant so you got free food too that doesn't really count canvas yeah canvas is like you know I have tried to be friends with you and you're only interested in being surface friends like where is the square napkin when I needed it a real friend would give it to me right now, what am I gonna block my eyes with? What, what? Yeah, there's nothing square for her to block her eyes with.

Yeah, she's just grabbing a lamp off the table and trying to do that. Oh, lampshade. She's shocking herself with the tears. It was worth it to drive them off. And just like, if I would have known this fight, that would have ensued, I would have kept my mouth shut,

I'm like, do you started it? Yeah, that's my favorite thing. What do you mean? My favorite thing on Bravo TV is when someone goes, if I had known that this would cause so much drama, I never would have said anything. You started it, Saka. So then the next day, the girls are meeting up and Karris just pretending nothing has happened with just elegant. She's like,

hello, does that help? You go. We're in the lobby. It's lovely. It's reminding my home in Great Falls, which I fully own. Have you seen my new living room? You're sitting in it right now. We're in my room. I needed that time. I needed my people in South Africa to see my face. To give them hope to get through the day. I'm sorry. Queeves to Graham live.

Oh, gravestogram. I started that act. Ehh. 79.99 and it smells like an ox. Well, we're cross-pollinating with Karen Huga fragrances. Yes. Oh, Lordy. So Karen's like, did you all have fun?

And Jizzel just like shuts down. She's like, guess what? We had a great time. And so yeah. So then Jizzel's just better coming for you with other people around to watch. Yeah, she doesn't want to waste it. She doesn't want to waste the scene, you know? So Karen, Jizzel's just better coming for you when other people are around to watch. Yeah, she doesn't want to waste it She doesn't waste the one always the scene, you know

So Karen Jacelle's just staring at Karen just staring at her and she's like Karen could not be bothered to hang out in the big easy But I can't question Karen because if I question the grieving then I'm the a hole also Just the a hole in general, but that's neither here. No, they are raw Yeah, you are the A-hole. Yeah, okay. So, Jacelle's throwing her dad's birthday party, and so she's kind of getting everybody ready for that, and everybody's splitting up today.

Some of the girls are gonna go see alligators. Some girls are gonna go see a psychic. Some people are gonna go see a lady who cooks things. Yeah, so, yeah. Jacelle is bringing Candace to, she's gonna be bringing Candace to this fabled restaurant in New Orleans where they're gonna be meeting the mayor of all people.

And so Jacelle, she's bringing Candace because she's like, well, Candace worked in the Obama administration so she can like handle herself around a mayor. I mean, how many napkins are there? You know, how many, what are they bringing? Napkins. That's what I want to know.

Barack Obama, the biggest expenditure in his election campaign was for little square napkins that can be folded up 90 times to cry into. You know, she was just blotting her eyes with those like shepherd fairly posters that said hope. I need to know this because she worked as a staffer on President Obama's. I need to know what she did. I assume she was an intern. Yeah, I need to know because I don't know that she's a pro. I feel like she's one of those people with a clipboard.

He knocked on on my door and interrupt my naps. Okay. She feels very much like she didn't work in a real White House, but she worked in like a Shonda Rhymes White House, you know, or the White House in the mall. Or she worked at that gift shop that's like near the White House where you can pay $5 and get your photo taken at the podium to make it look like your Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Yeah. Or she just bought White Out one time.

I think the thing with all of these examples is that we're saying Candace worked. Yeah. And that's what's not making sense to me. It's just not ringing trees. Something's not tracking with this story. I'm pretty sure that photo was photoshopped that they showed up her with Obama.

Yeah, I'm not sure. I don't want to take credit away from anybody who's done good in the world. It just sounds weird. Candace worked in a sentence sounds weird. Yeah, I'm putting it out there. I just feel like I didn't want to take credit away from anybody who's done good in the world. It just sounds weird. Candace worked in a sentence. Sounds weird. Yeah. I'm putting it out there. I just feel like I didn't trust that photo because it was basically a picture of Obama

at the debate with Romney and Candace was standing next to him at the podium waving and in a t-shirt that said, I loved his knee land. So I was like, this doesn't look like it was a real photo. Oh. Candace Dillard, field organizer, Obama for America. So I think that means that basically, I think if you're the field organizer, don't take my word for it. I don't want to be a choose of spreading right-wing propaganda again.

Is that I think a field organizer, like, arranges things like at events and places where Obama would be going to. But maybe that's an advanced team. You know what? I don't know. And honestly, it doesn't really matter that much. Well, she was an intern associate at the White House. So you were right when you said intern. Yeah. Responsible for selecting and placing 150 interns from a pool of 1500 plus. Assessed applications for spring 2011 intern class and summer intern class corresponded daily with intern coordinators.

That's like her dream job. I can just imagine her like being Candace being like a gatekeeper, being like her own version of Tyra Banks for interns. I can see her just like loving that. I was rooting for you. I invited you to be a friend intern before me are two interns. Each one has what the other one needs and Sorry, you will not be going for it. Just turns over their resume Taking in returning calls from high profile political figures. Oh God. This is the best paragraph I've ever written my life

Taking in returning cofoan calls. Wow. I'm like Ronnie Wicks up early in a town full of celebrities. Dresses himself in clothes worn probably by celebrities somewhere in city full of celebrities. Walks dog named after celebrity. Around the block, the celebrities in Walkdog. Thank you. I think Candace and Carl need to team up with their LinkedIn and start some sort of learning

annexing of how to beef up your resume. All right, Jens, so you've been working in the White House helping out interns. So what you really need to do is say, hey, interns, you want to blow me? Anyone? Anyone? Oh, gosh, for Dix, we're planning someone for having a job sorry Yeah, like a job like a job that you should be so proud of and we're just like tearing her down when there's so many other people that need to be torn down Okay, I take it back. Can this you go girl

Good for you. She's already I love you now change my mind I think she's still listening you think she's still listening at this? She's already turned it off. A lot of her eyes, five times, called Chris when he didn't answer. She's called her mom and now they're in a fight. Wipe your eyes with a lamp and she was done. Oh, okay. So, just I'll tell you something.

I'm going to take Candy asked to plan some stuff for my dad. One of my ex-boyfriends might be coming tonight and Candace is like okay Re-kindalization Which I liked yeah, I think that would should also go on her LinkedIn. I have to say I feel like Amazon should take that He's like oh this is what happens when you come back to us after you're sick of your iPad Yeah, so then Ashley and Katie I don't know where they found drugs, but it seems like they're just drugged out walking around town, dancing in front of statues.

It's called Bourbon Street. Yeah, they are taking photos. They're, I mean Katie is on another planet this entire episode. Yeah, so then Monique is in a bus thing with a bus, a van, you bus, a van. You know, they're a typical transportation. She's with Karen, and she's telling,

just that, she's with Karen and Robin, and she's, well, Karen's like, what did I miss? And she's like, well, that conversation we're left out of nowhere. You should have been there. And Karen goes, well, who left did it? Yeah, and basically, basically Monique says that Jacelle blew up Candice's spot

the entire group the night before, which is what happened because that's how the fight started which was that Jacelle said, but the way YAH, Candice doesn't think you're really trying to get to pregnant, TAH, I never should have said that, oh well. Yeah, and Karen, like that's all Karen needs, like, mm, well the pot's still not stirring, like, hmm. Well, the pot's still not stirring.

Well, people's lives, where she calls her friends and she's just stirring the pot. Who stirs pot, pot, stirs. During the pot lady. Like, you're so excited to have a bone. Karen was also doing a lot of this thing that she does where it seems like she's trying to discreetly remove a piece of spinach from her teeth Like she moves her lips around like they're cursed closed

And she like juts them forward and then up and then down and all around in circles and Take Karen Karen there's no spinach in there you can stop you don't have to keep doing this But it's like the entire episode she was doing it. Yeah, she does that like she's still trying to make sure her gums are there So there so they oh good good Robbins like well, I think the main thing with Candace is helping her rise above the position her mother putter in I was like her house her wedding What position are we talking about here? Oh bipolar right isn't she bipolar? I just know we talked about here. Well, bipolar, right?

Isn't she bipolar? Yeah, and it's like, no! And then Monique's like, oh yeah, she's basically the new Ashley now. It's like, yay, someone else is mommy issues. Yeah. And then Monique's like, well, wait, someone's a psychiatrist there, right?

Her mom, well, maybe she needs to go talk, I guess, her mom, okay, nevermind. Yeah. Really liking Monique this season. I don't know why, I just like her. She just, I think it, I'm mad I think I said this last week, but she's just sitting there. She's like, I'm primate. I don't want to, I'm honestly too tired to do anything, but sit here and look at these crazy women and make fun of them. It's like it works for me. Yeah, we always need

that person in the season. Yeah. So now Jizelle's over with Candace, and she's talking about how people have boundaries and probably shouldn't be putting your hand up on people's faces and Candace is like, did I do that? Did I? I mean, I can barely remember. It's a very convenient excuse, very convenient. Unless she starts third personing herself, she's like, I know drug Candace can be a bit much, maybe Candace can apologize, Candace admits can this advance a lot of can this can Just give out other people to take in of can this she was I have a big bite, but I'm a little dog Just I was like mmm why don't you try that one again? I'm a big dog with a little bite. No

I'm a dog with three heads. No It's a bite day afternoon I'm hyper-Elegantic and I have issues with biscuits. No. But just I can't figure it out either. It's like these two are idiots. They're just going to drive around trying to figure out those ones saying. And so Candace is finally like, I don't know.

I'm just a loud dog. Like, okay, that fits. Sure. So then Ashley and Katie, you know the de place is authentic when it's called voodoo authentic. Best voodoo. We said the Mississippi or West, I guess.

And it's like pen, you know, from pen and teller. Yeah, I really is. Good call. Doesn't it look just like him? And Ashley's like, I want to reading. Oh, I would shake your hand, but my hands are sweating. I'm so nervous and Katie's like oh, you know what I got a surgery done on my hands, so I can't sweat from my hands anymore Yeah, what was that? It's like no sweat ever see no sweat It all comes out of her butt crack now by the way way that's not a surgery everybody it's called boat ox

always that what it is both you yeah i think you can both are just wet glands or whatever so if you're sweating profusely from one place you can both talks i'm pretty sure that's what they do uh... i actually think that she still swiss from her palms but she had like some drug induced vision where she saw like one of the band members of like that Muppets band and they were like it was like that doc guy and he was like Hey Katie, I'm an operation no more sweating on you And then Gonzo shows up in something exposed in his face and she's like my hands. They don't sweat anymore I actually like that for Katie. That's a good life for Katie.

No, I really want to see what she'd been doing this whole time that she was off. I think you could think I was making a joke. I was being very serious. She has actually heard a storyline. She had that vision. She was fully interfaced with the Muppets band and then got a sweat reducing surgery in her hands as a result. Bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap, bap Do you see any little people in my future? And he's like, well, I see your husband tossing them at an Irish Spartan? No, that was last week. Babies, I mean babies. He's like, um, well, let me be honest.

Had a 15 cards. You got one of my O-oh shit cards. Yeah. Really, really old guy crawling out of a hole. Is it? Damn, it didn't happen last weekend, too. I'm talking about the future. Alright let's see. Well I'm getting a vision of Gollum trying to impregnate you but secretly going off to gay bars.

Does this make anything- No! Are you following us? So he goes, it looks like you're putting so much pressure on being a mother that it's slowing your flow. Wow, what a great read. You tell a lady of a certain age that she's putting pressure on herself to be a mother and... Yeah, especially when she comes in going, do I am I gonna have a baby? Yeah, I think you're feeling worried about having a baby.

I would have liked it if his O-Shit card really meant like, oh, you're gonna have to shit later today. That's what that means. So stay away from the graph. High poop day. High poop day, your stomach will not react well to the dirty rice here. Yeah. So she's like, well, did we transparent? I've had a miscarriage. And me and my husband, you know, we broke up. My husband left me because he didn't want children and it was at that point I felt like my relationship was over. You know why because it was over It was it was over It was legitimately over

I've ever seen you also sang a terrible song which was the real nail in the coffin But somehow you interpreted that as like the crowbar that would wedge it open and And then the guys like well children are supposed to be the culmination of the marriage, not the glue to keep it together. And she's like, oh my gosh, that's deep. Like, you never heard that before? What? What?

I got to Ashley going, you know, we've run through a lot. So I'm basically ready to yield my profits here. That sounds terrible, but it's true. What is the nonsense that everyone in the scene is saying? Like everyone, like as soon as they walk into that shop, they're just saying random things. I think everything that they're saying came from like the Apple Auto correct. You know when you press the suggestion, the auto fill, you just press it to see what sentence it will make for you. You know?

I'm almost tempted to do it right now. Combination, people here too. I'm gonna make an Ashley sentence right now with auto fill, it's saying, I'm gonna start it, what's the word I should start it with? I'm gonna start with Ashley. Okay. Ashley, Ashley is our morning dinner party for tonight.

for Morning Dinner Party for tonight. Now that actually is deep. As you see, it's our Morning Dinner Party for tonight. Okay, here's mine. Ashley was a great day to be a good person. And, sorry, and I wanna see you next yeah girl hello well I'm doing god I'm a way dumber person than you my out of crack actually was a great day to be a good person and I want to see you next year girl. I want to see you next. fine show. Wow, I've really been promoting out. So it's basically your text to Kelly from Reha's us. Basically, basically, I like

that even my auto, auto fill is trying to promote our shows. Asha Michael has always been the perfect way to start the night and come join us at the overrun show. Okay, I'm going to see what Katie did when we didn't see her on screen. Okay, when she was away from the show. Katie is changing to Katie's. Katie's was a great day too. It's the to Katie's. Katie's was a great day too.

What a great thing. A good person and I wanna was the way you are all so beautiful. Katie's was a great day to be a good person and I wanna was the way you are all so beautiful. God, I'm an idiot. How come yours are so good and positive and smart? Mine's dumb. I'm gonna do a really fast one where I'm just gonna tap really quickly and on all the auto fills and then read it to see what happens

I'm gonna do it for Karen. Oh, you oh really? Yeah, what were you doing? No, I was while I was choosing the words. I was cuz you know you get three options So I'm like if I choose your own adventures just choosing the one in the middle. Oh, okay, I'll do the one. Also, Karen was a great day for me and my dad. By the way, what is up with the iPhones and assistants on declaring that all these women are a great, great way to start the day or a great day.

Karate is basically the patriarchy with a slightly higher voice. Okay, so let's get back into this. So then we go over to the alligator boat and Karate's like, oh, alligator is, wow, that Wow, that was terrifying. And they just keep cutting away. They don't have much for the alligator, but apparently. Yeah, security, security. I was just going to go up this alligator out of the ball, you thank you. The boat guys like, one way it's want to.

They're like, oh! Karen with the gators, they did not spend a lot of time with it, but it was pretty special just because she'd looked at them with such indignant rage. Like, I can't believe that you came to invade our tour of the bayou. It's like, no, you're here to see them. No, they're here to see me, and as far as I can tell, they haven't donated to my for-profit charity. It's called Karen Huga and the prize you go. Mm. So then we have Jazelle and Candace had ducicace's and Lea Chase. Ducicace.

And Lea Chase comes out and she is like the queen of Creole cooking. I feel like I've seen her. I think she's like very, very, very famous and I feel like I've seen her on some. I think she was on top chef New Orleans, and I think she's been on a million other things, but so she comes out and she's great. She's a 95 year old lady in a wheelchair, cooking for generations,

probably seen just like a million things, you know, like I actually felt like, oddly enough, I felt like we were privileged just to be able to watch her sit and like talk with these dingbats, you know? I like how she gave shade, she gave a shady look to Candace did you notice that? She just looks at her like she's like sit and you just try and make me look man. And she just passed away. Really? So yeah RIP lady.

Oh, they put it at the end of the. Oh, I didn't see that. At the episode. So basically the mayor took really a privilege that they got like, you know, her on camera, right? You know, that's awesome. Yeah, but she died, but that they got that time that moment with her. Yeah, you're like awesome. That's awesome that she died in time to get an RIP on TV. Lucky lady.

So the mayor comes in and they all talk about how it's like so good to be, you know, women working together in the city and kicking gas and then they get some gumbo. I don't know some I've seen, but like I don't have anything to bitch about. So take it away, Ben. By the way, Leah Chase died like yesterday. Oh really? Yeah, it's like, she, oh, she died not yesterday.

She died on June 1st. So really recently wow Yeah, wow sad Anyway, so that's in here Yeah, just dancing around with pasties on flapping boobies and then we go back to the alligator and The guys like all right now alligator's alligator, this don't eat people, but people keep their hands inside for the second not being bit. And they're like, oh.

Oh. And he starts showing, there's this big old alligator named Brutus, who's really old. He's like the king of the, king of the Bayou. And he's showing how like the notches on his bones on his back show, like the more you have, the older he is. And showing how he's just how like the notches on his phones on his back show like the more you have the older he is and showing how he's just as big old alligator and Karen's like oh he's a zoldous Michael and then she tries to feed Brutus so she they have like some sort of meat on a stick and she's like

puts it over the boat and Brutus like jumps up you know, kind of like me in the morning. And he turns like, well, I tried to feed him, but he didn't want it, so let's get the hell out of here. Yeah, it's Chris. Thank you for coming to the swamp. I appreciate the sauce. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen

to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, and Katie and Ashley are talking about how much they just love hanging out with each other, cause they didn't realize how much they liked each other before but It's really nice to be friends with someone who doesn't judge me like Candace like Ashley girl You have been the biggest medler and live ruiner on this show, so enjoy this Yeah, it's your season It's been one of the messiest people on bravo and we enjoy that So the fact that she's trying to act like she never has been messy, come on.

Come on. Yeah. So then it's time to go out at night and of course everybody's running late because you know, girls getting better. Yeah. Katie needs like 15 more minutes and just I was like, all right, I'll give you seven more minutes. And she's like, Katie like I need 15 7 15 7

and then we get to see if Katie trying to put on a wig I don't know what the hell is going on with Katie but you don't even know if it's funny yeah it was she's just like I'm worried I'm literally worried yeah she just plops this messy wig on her head it's just like there like it looked like a towel practically although by the time she got down stairs it was in order, mostly, but it was still like, wow, what is going on with Katie? I don't, I am actually a little concerned. I'm amused by her, but I'm also a little bit concerned. Yeah, because it's like great gardens and that lady's putting t-shirts on her head, you know, for

for fashion. It's just like her looking through a pile of trash and trying to put it on. And it's just like what it reminds me of. It was a real wig, but just when she was putting it on, she just had that crazy lady look on her. Yeah, then Karen went in to check on her. And Katie's still had to put on her panties. So she's about to put them on, run from Karen.

She's like, no, thank you. I've already seen an alligator today. Please do that in the bathroom. Don't need to see this. Thank you. I've already seen an alligator today. Please do that in the bathroom. Don't need to see this. Thank you So then in the bat and the van Sarah was just like sitting here listening to you. I know I was sometimes I forget to read notes I know I was like, oh, that was a funny funny

Memory of that show. Let's just think about Karen by the door standing there of that show. Let's just think about Karen by the door standing there. Upstairs. Yeah. So then in the van, they're talking about is Ashley gonna get to have more kids or is Monique gonna have more kids and Monique's like, well, we said four, but I don't know. He's gonna make me do this, isn't he? So Ashley actually apologized to Monique, you know, So Ashley actually apologized to Monique, because Monique had a miscarriage last season, and now Ashley has suffered through that. So now that she has that perspective, she tells Monique that she didn't really appreciate

the loss that Monique had been going through and wasn't sensitive to her, which I thought was really, really nice, and Monique was also really touched by that. However, what I am going to say though, is that I still think Ashley was right to be like, um, y'all, like, Monique was drunk driving. Like, does anyone else see that?

I think it's fine to call that shit out. I'm like, drunk driving is drunk driving. Yeah, and also Ashley's just saying this to like get back at Candace for being mean to her while she, after she had a miscarriage You know, it's like the grossest use of a miscarriage I've ever seen on TV like I don't really need this I'm just a princess if you will yes if you will So money it's like that was refreshing we're friends again. Yeah, but it really was a nice apology

But I just want I just am like but Monique you're not up the hook We know what happened with that tree. We know what happened with that five Margini lunch So no it was more that she was so mad about being called out about it, you know So so now it's now it's time for the big party Well, it wasn't just being called out. I mean, she was walking around. She actually was basically using that whole season to be like, Monique has a drinking problem.

You guys, it's bad. She has children. Well, because it escalated to that. Yeah, I mean, yeah, and that's where she was. She definitely, you know, it doesn't even matter. I'm confusing you. You are. You're testing my ability to...

I'm gonna have to go back to the auto correct for the rest of my portion of this podcast. Yeah, let's just use that for the next part of the week. Yeah. So, um, so now everyone's, uh, dancing, uh, doing the, uh, the second line, which is L's dad, the band is playing. It's really fun and nice. I was thinking, like, I would never dance

in that New Orleans humanity. I'm like, if I'm in fancy clothes. I am going from air conditioning to air conditioning. No shuffling for me Yeah, in a suit. I mean no You know there's a reason I stay in this town. This town's gross. It's getting worse Just cry. You know all the stuff that people complain about holly weird, but girl is safety degrees Mm-hmm And I'm gonna flip it dry it. It's a dry heat. It's a dry heat.

Yeah, so. Yeah, so now everyone's basically at this. It looks like it was a church that was turned into a bar or a restaurant, so everyone's there and chatting and like all of Jacelle's family and family friends and childhood friends are showing up and a lot of happiness, et cetera. Yeah, we're just reading the notes. This is just like everyone's happy and saying hi.

Like half of the scene is just going, hi, people saying hi to sell. I haven't seen you in so long. I know. Hello, my cloud is left to great impression on this town. Yeah. And then then just basically kicks out the band. She's like, okay, we need to film the scene so we get the hell out of here. So she gathers up the ladies and she's like, so how is everyone's days? We all were doing different things, so I want to catch up and hopefully find something

to argue about. Yeah, so Katie starts and she's like, we saw the voodoo protect the practitioner. He said I need to relax. And then Candace, she apologizes to Ashley and she's like, Ashley, no, she's always breaking down to song. And she's like, I don't know what you're going through. It's not my journey, but I would like to be part of it

and know what you're dealing with. And now she's like, okay, that's gonna take some time. They're like, ooh. that's gonna take some time. They're like, ooh. That's like the theme. Oh, I love this. It sounds like Miss Karen. Yeah, that's a theme of this season it feels like, is everyone telling each other

that they need time to get back to where they were. I know when they were already not friends. Yeah, I'm like, you're on episode like seven by now. Okay, time's up. Yeah, and Karen's like, well, that's messy, you know, and actually says it takes time because you know I love really hard and fast. Oh my god. It sounds like me. I'm gonna pass out Candace is like it's just always how you've been about friendships that you just loved you hard and fast And actually it's like actually a more of a loner kind of person

I don't really need friends and Robin's like yeah, you know I have to say this in Ashley's defense it really actually took us gosh what two to three years for me to stop calling her a Gold digging whore so you know yeah she just needs a little time yeah, you know it takes it takes about two or three years to lower your standards to the point where you can accept her as a friend in your life. Yeah By the way all this self-assessment from Ashley that she loves too hard and that she's a bit of a loner We have never seen any evidence of this have we? She just doesn't she's just like why you can't just tell me off one day and then the next day be like I'm sorry and then we're best friends again. Just say that Yeah, so Ash is like,

based on what I've seen between her and her mother, I don't fully believe that Candace is going to know how to conduct herself in a mature way going forward. She needs to grow up. I'm like, Ashley, have you seen seasons one, two, three of Ashleigh on this show? So then everybody's eating dinner and Karen goes up to Candaceks and she's like, well,

what happened last night? Because I've had a different version, and I need a hair. And she's like, let's move over here. We're both in Turbans. Let's have a secret Turban meeting. Turban to Turban. They both have like chips in them, so therefore, like the Turbans can sync up. So she's basically

Candace is like, well, she purports herself to be this open person. But now all of the sudden she needs a moment. That is some cod liver bullshit. And Karen's going to be on her sides, you know, because she's still pissed of Ashley too. Yeah,

I mean, and we as we all know, cod liver bullshit is the worst of the bullshit. Yes, it bullshit is the worst of the bullshit. Yes, it's the most extreme of the bullshit. Okay. Yeah, I mean, it's one thing to have like- Although it is very good to deliver. Yeah, it's actually also the most delicious of the bullshit. Is it?

cod liver, it sounds, I mean, it sounds wonderful to me. I mean, it sounds good for your skin, I'll say that. Yeah, I think so. You know, full of bullshit, but you never look better. So then, Jacelle is introducing her ex-boyfriend Steve to Ashley and telling us that, oh, you know, Sherman and I are so fresh. However, I've been friends with Steve so long that it makes sense that he's invited that.

So basically, she's been Steve. Yeah, that's the plan. So basically she's being Steve. Yeah, that's the plan. Yeah, she got a piece. So the girls are, they start to grill Steve about, about Jacelle, all these questions, et cetera, et cetera. And then basically they, Jacelle and Steve were together for about a year or so, and Karen's like, oh, so you ran him off after a year,

you ran him off, you know, huh? You ran him off. You know, she has a track record that we are noticing as friends, which we are, and we want her to do better with her inability to keep a man down. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? Does that all the worse? Right, I say that as a friend. Yeah.

And then just like, without that fair, that this woman won't answer my questions about anything, but now she's going to tell Steve about my life, which one thing has nothing to do with her. I would have to say, I didn't understand. That was again an auto-fill right there. That was a style anger. It's just a style anger. It never makes any sense.

The things that she gets so mad about don't even compute. Yeah, I mean, it's like, it's the equivalent of saying, oh, well, that's unfair. I can't remember divulging her life, but then she buys an iPod. It's oh, well, that's unfair. Karen never divulges her life, but then she buys an iPod. It's like, yeah, that's basically, and this story of how they broke up is such as L2, because she's like, well, we dated for a year, and then I heard from somebody that he was probably cheating on me. And then I saw him talking to a girl, so I said, that's it, never speak to me again.

Great work, just like, great work. Yeah. So Karen's like, I'm gonna walk away now and you just slipped that question in there. Get that date. Yeah. So she's, yeah. So Karen starts gossiping to Monique. She's talking about the Ashton Candid situation. And Monique's like, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh- uh, is there a peach cobbler? Is there a peach cobbler around? So we get me that peach cobbler, thanks. This is delicious. Yeah. The girl's like, well, I spoke to Candace, and I figured, well, I mean,

boundaries were sad, but the boundaries weren't respected, and Monique's like, mmm, delicious. Does this come with ice cream? We have another slice of that peach cobbler, anything. I'll just take some whipped cream on it. I'll just read it, just put the camera up to my mouth. So Karen's basically saying how Ashley feels, like she's saying that the issue is that Ashley is setting a boundary for Candice.

When Ashley herself has always been the queen of totally disregarding other people's boundaries. And that's frustrating for people. Yeah, I'm asked. She's like, well, he made her the judge and jury. And so Jizelle comes on. She's like, oh, yeah, fighting. Yes, I was getting boring. Jizelle has this great reaction because she comes by and she's like, she walks by to be like, oh, did you see there's more peach cover? Oh, oh, I'll be fighting. Are we fighting? What's going on? She's like her like like something like resets in her CPU Which is what? What is a fight? Does it fight? Yeah, I was gonna come to yell at Karen But if you guys are gonna fill the time I'd much rather that yes

So Ashley's like, well, you apologize to me you didn't mean it can't this and then we go into this again And can't this is like well, I apologize for being aggressive, but when I said I stand by I'm like I don't care what you think. Don't waste your precious hair. Don't come for my uterus I don't think anyone was coming for your uterus, but yeah Definitely not Michael. Oh So Candace stays pretty calm through most of this to prove that she can stay calm But then she gets really bad she's like you and your uterus are fine And you're not gonna act like you don't live your home

Motherfucking lives to talk about people They're oh She said the f word at a birthday party for an old person So sorry, yeah, Jizzles like Kendus you're being too aggressive boss Jizzles this is from Jizzle of all people, right? Yeah, so Jizel's like, guys, this is done. This is my father's idiot. You only turn 80 once, well in care and situation twice, but that's a whole other story.

And surprisingly enough, Monika is the one who stands up for Ashley and she goes, isn't it possible that Ashley went through a huge loss and it's changed her perception, so maybe we shouldn't judge her by what she said in the past or what she's done in the past. And it's like, whoa, what is happening down here? Because Ashley said sorry, that's all she needed to do this, so damn time. And by the way, it was also around this time where I don't know if anyone else noticed, I saw a little cameo from Barry of Southern Charm, New Orleans, which had,

I see it. Yeah, he was sort of like in the foreground, like blurred out, not blurred out, but he was like, like the focus wasn't on him. So he was just sort of blurry in the foreground, like blurred out, not blurred out, but he was like, like the focus wasn't on him. So he was just sort of blurry in the foreground. Makes me wonder if they were trying to do a, they were considering doing like a crossover thing and they described it or he just happened to be there. Yeah.

So he is, yeah. So then, just I'll give us a speech and then she's telling us, see, look at me. I've become such a compassionate person on this trip yeah yeah real compassionate and now Candace now proving to be the the new Countess Countess Candace she comes out she's like at which point Ashley then starts to try to harmonize. Because Karen was like, dear God.

He's like, I'm gonna call him on board a five. I'm gonna call him on board a five. But Ashley can't even find the key. She's on some completely different key. And she's like, I'm just trying to help. She couldn't have gotten a happy birthday. No one was even listening. And then Katie's like, yeah'm just trying to help. She couldn't have gotten a happy birthday. No one was even listening. And then Katie's like, yes, she seems like this.

And they start cracking up. And then Monique's like, oh geez. Now we've got these two mean girling against something. Yeah. She's like, give me more peach cobbler. Yeah. So then, they just, Jacelle on the van on the way home.

Like, you know what everybody? I think it's just time to go to bed You've got Monique here pregnant with eight children You've got Karen and flip flops and God knows what's going on on top of her head Ashley's falling asleep Which is tired. Let's go to bed. I've entertained y'all enough for one night She goes I think I deserve a pat on the back for realizing that ladies are tired I'm like congratulations for making some very elementary the ladies are tired. Congratulations for making some very elementary observations about people who you've been with for the past several hours. And then three hours later, she's up coast

back to her hotel room. Yeah. So she went out. She just don't want the ladies there. Yeah, basically. So now it's the next morning and the women are a breakfast and the plan is to go on a steamboat and then go to Cafe Dumas. And Katie is missing. So then we cut to producer cam, which is a K means a producer on their cell phone. Katie is just lying in bed in a turbine. Like there's a big turbine situation happening on this show, and I approve of it.

Yeah. So then let's see. So Monique just decides to go back to the hotel because she's really tired. And she's having her mother-in-law to all the families coming for their rainbow party. And it's the first time her mother-in-law has come to see them in their Potomac home. So I guess they just started speaking again. Yeah.

So that should be fun to watch. So they all go on to this steamboat on to the Mississippi, which which fun fact Mississippi goes all the way up to Minneapolis. I'm sure most people knew that, but I didn't know it, so I'm like really excited about that. So anyway, they're on the Mississippi on this steamboat thing, and they're all sitting at a table, like hanging out, and there's like this, like, Mayfly or something. That's just like, that's on Candace's, like, armpit or something. I felt bad for the bug, but the bug is there and Robin goes, bug, oh no. Which is like the most low key reaction

to a bug I've ever seen. And then Candace goes full on Kyle. So yeah, I think Kyle is good. Oh, Bob! Bob! Oh, go. There's a bug in there, Bob! And she's like standing up and she's shaking herself

and she's running in circles and all the women are just staring at her like this bitch, this fucking bitch. She's so annoying. So then basically Karen's still annoying. Because they started giving Giselle crap because they found Jizzel admitted that she went to see Steve.

And they like drag out of her that she got a kiss and stuff. And Ashley's like, is this why you wanted to cut the party short and Karrie or Jizzel's like, well, you know, that one was tired and that one was falling asleep and then this one was grieving. Karrie's like, stop putting it like that. This one, I one was tired and that one was, that one was falling asleep and then this one was grieving. Karen's like, stop putting it like that.

This one, I'm saying it like that. This one, she's grieving. Ooh, this one. Mm. You said it seven times this week, so let's drop the word grief and try step out of it, okay? You can't say that word. I'm grieving right now.

And she's like, uh, should I use a different word? She's also like, okay. And then Karen goes, oh, should I use a different word? Just like, oh, okay. And then Karen goes, oh, you set me up with a thought that I was welcome to come on your trip to help me get over the loss of my parents. No to self. I'm watching you, GZ. I'm watching you. Oh, God.

And Karen's ready to yell at GZ, but GZ always no place to fight today. So she's just letting Karen look like an idiot. Yeah, and so she's basically like, so now Karen, in her way of getting back at Giselle, because Karen feels attacked. She's now saying, so, are you ready for a new relationship? What's going on? I don't know where you are with Sherman, I don't know where you watch Sherman, which of course is the perfect button to press because Giselle is like, I can't believe that Karen would bring up Sherman.

I'm like, well, you bring up Sherman every single episode. Like the two of them are so perfect together. So then Katie, Bob said, but Cafe Dumont, to have some big yays. And the other girls are just like tired on a van. That's basically this half of the show. Girls tired on a van. So, um, yeah, basically, yeah. So they're talking about Steve again. And, uh, because Katie full on Flirted with Steve the night before,

she was like, what sort of, what sort of, uh, what sort of, what sort of, what is this? I'm going to see the collar and then she like gets up like her face, like really close to Steve's face while she checks the back of the collar, you know? It just goes like, yeah, I said that you duck into his collar. He said, you're weird, so no more Katie. Yeah. So Karen's like, hmm, I feel like I didn't get enough of a rise at a Giselle on the boat.

So we try again. Giselle, I was so happy to see you with Steve. I was glad to see you smile. That ugly, disgusting smile, but I was happy it was there and nonetheless. You had a male friend. And Robin's like, well, it's the first time that it's the first time you've been around someone since Sherman, you know? And you're ready to spread your wings. And she's like, if you mean we're over it, yes we are over it. It's over with me. And Sherman.

And she's like, so you and Sherman. It's like Karen, we already talked about this. No, you said I couldn't ask any questions. So I just wanted to know. She's like no questions about Sermann. So, whenever you, uh, someone asks you to do something and you want to answer in the affirmative, do you ever say something like, Sermann? Karen's talking to us. And she's like, so you know that they've been talking or... And just as like, well, last time I went to Karen, she asked me and I said, no, I'm not discussing him with you.

And she said we need boundary. So, boundary up, boundary up, and she takes a napkin holder and puts it on top of another napkin holder. And she's like, boundary up, Karen, and Karen's like, I'm not a boundary down. Boundary down, not a, I do not accept your shabby boundary based on napkin holders that's tall, but not wide, so I can get around it. Boundary defied, boundary defied. You know, as a friend, would you say you want to be? I was just asking, when did this happen that you broke up with Sherman, who I thought was the love of your life,

who you've suffocated yourself for, for him to come back to when did that happen And she goes you're being defensive right now cattle black That was so funny. So just so basically we find out what's going on Karen tells us like when I got back to me that Sherman was already having sex with another woman And my guess is just El had already heard that rumor and was afraid I was gonna bring it up at the table But I didn't out her she out of herself hmm which is funny because you just outed her yeah and she didn't out herself so what are you talking about yeah well let's come to my attention that Sherman has been shopping up and out of Republic but I'm not gonna say that because I'm not just out I'm not messy like that that. Yeah. And this is where they show Jizelle just eating her

Benye and dipping it in chocolate milk. And she's telling us how she loves to eat her Benye while we listen to Karen just drove on over classical music. It goes like black and white as like those random sequence. She's like let it let it grow. Just enjoy her Benye. Yes. Oh my God. She's like, I like to dip my Benye and hot chocolate then eat it and you're disturbing me with your foolishness. So then Karen isn't getting any kind of, she's not getting the right she wants and she

looks stupid and she's like, well, I think it's bullshit that you're attacking me at this table when I'm just asking you questions, but I'm a respectful boundary. But you will never disrespect me again. You get that that never receive it Get that you stay in your place get that receive it get that receive it Get that receive it's like oh Karen went to the post office again Come in new concepts back in and ship it back in and ship it I want to send you a message one day priority Express in and one size fits all boxes out get that receive it

Hmm, you better fucking receive it and then just I was like, okay. I'm Rob and Cecil I just you know all that cursing is not Necessary I will curse and I want to but I'll take that in a consideration and talk to my therapist Thank you. Thank you very much for your leave your memo to the Karen you the personal emotion therapist. Thank you, thank you very much for your memo to the Karen yoga personal emotion foundation. Thank you. I think it's all. I was like, well, this can't get me dumber. And then just all says, well, I'm the only person working in this relationship. I've tried so hard.

Really? Really? Like, the time you got mad at Karen, because she just like talked to a lady who at that convention really All right everybody well that brings us to the end of another episode of real housewives of Potomac We are going to talk about Real Southern charm New Orleans later this week and we've got a big week this week You know we're back to kind of normal blow deck We're gonna do a video episode tomorrow

So if you want to watch that streaming it'll be at noon Pacific time. Yes, and if you just want to watch it you can go on crap and zon demand and watch out It's a patreon member of crap and zon demand level go get your shirt go get your tickets over watch what crap and stop calm Go get your life. Yeah, we'll talk to you next time. Bye, everyone. Bye. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts

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