Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Gone Girls

Episode Date: October 19, 2021

The Real Housewives of Potomac are still on vacation, and Robin and Gizelle make an exit to a hotel for a decent pooper. Candiace and Mia make up, but Gordon is still showing his ass. Literally. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens, and get tickets for our Winter Tour at https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tourSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Corruptions! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Yule Bros. I am Ronnie Carram and I'm with the Gorgeous...

...talented! Ben Mandelker, hello Ben! Hi Ronnie, what's going on? Oh, are you? Oh I am just great, we're having such an exciting Monday today. We sure are everybody. So we just announced our Winter early spring to a full watch what crap and it's called the hunky doory to where we are finally getting back out there Tickets are going on sale this Friday. Just check our site watch what crap ends all the cities are going on sale at the same time

So we're doing a ton of cities this time. So they're there. So go Friday and get your tickets and kay. Yeah. And we're not going to go through the whole list because it's so many cities. We're just literally going to drive you not if you go through the list. But we do want to give a special shout out to the fact that our very first show of the tour is going to be a New York City and it's going to be not only our first first show of the tour is going to be in New York City and it's going to be not only our first show back, not only is it going to be our 10-year anniversary show, but it's also going to be the very first time the crappies have been

in New York. It's going to be the crappies in New York and actually technically it's like very close to Broadway. It's at Town Hall, which where is Town Hall, Ronnie? It's close to Town Square, right? It's a town hall, which where is town hall, Ronnie? It's close to town hall, right? It's off Broadway theater, Dali. So it's basically like, Crapids on Broadway, except it's not really Broadway, right?

Crapids off Broadway. Lino, it's more like, I think it's more us to be off Broadway. Yeah. Yeah, we thought about doing it at the Winter Garden theater and we're like, hmm, and then we're like, where's Hamilton play? Let's do it there. And then we're like, no, we don't really want to

upstage Lynn. So we decided let's do town hall instead. Well, yeah. So that's still a big place for us. We're super excited. So get your tickets. They start going on sale Friday, watch at crappens.com. Check that out.

So you guys want to see our videos. We do two video recaps a week. You can get those at watchwitcrapens. No, patreon.com slash watch want to see our videos. We do two video recaps a week. You can get those at watchwitcraftens.no patreon.com slash watchwitcraftens or find the links on our website while you're looking at tickets. Okay. You can actually already see all the cities that are on sale now. So just go there and look at it. Super fun time. We've also got another huge announcement today. Huge. Candace had a good episode on Real Housewives of Peking. Oh wow. I have to say I was completely fucking impressed with Candace. Good job Candace. I know I give a lot Candace a lot of crap on this show, but she finally dealt with something the proper way. Congratulations, Madame. I know it was shocking. It's always weird when Candace kind of gets it together. It's really, really weird. Oh, also I thought you were gonna mention too as the big exciting thing, which is.

I guess exciting for us is that talk to us once once take a seat on Spotify Greenroom is tonight, so don't forget to come tune into that because that's super, super fun. Sorry, back to Potomac. Yeah, back to Potomac. Sorry, I forgot to do that. So we are still at Foxy's having dinner. Candice has just had a fit at the table because Ashley was goading her and it worked. So Candice lost it. Chris left. Then Candice is now in the hallway talking to Chris.

And he's like, are you going to be calm now? And she's like, I was calm when you left the table as I was calling Ashley a slave. I was doing it very, very calmly, Chris. Okay. And so they go back to the table and just like, I want to apologize to the whole restaurant, Dal and Meliva and Karen's like,

well, this is the pissing contest and no one's running out of urine. Mmm. If you all like your women keep going down this road, they're not going to look like this at 58. Did she say that at 58? I was a little confused what she was saying there. Yeah. She said she was telling the husbands if they let their wives go down this road, they won't look like her at 58 years old. Wait, Karen's 58? I guess.

I guess that makes sense. I just don't think of her as being 58. How old do you, what do you think of her as? Three Wicks. Ageless. I forget. Sometimes I forget like people's ages on these shows, you know, I don't really know where Karen is.

I think I always thought of her as more of like 51 or 52. But yeah, 58 makes more sense. Do you ever learning WIC. So, um, Candace go, oh, so everybody's back at the table now. And Wendy is making a big deal about how good her shrimp is because she's trying to pretend that she doesn't want to fight, but then she's like taking big bites of shrimp and like smacking them really hard. Yeah. How she turns her head to ignore the other side of the table. And then Giselle, like flips her ponytail around and she sees it Wendy is trying to avoid fighting.

So she's like, so are we doing a hotel Robin? Yeah, so Robbins like on Yelp or something. She's like, well, there's an inn that's nearby, but it's 2.5 stars, but there's a mario. Um, and she tells us, Wendy's a horrible hostess. I would be mortified if I invited someone on the trip, and she did not have a bathroom of her own. So instead of being uncomfortable, the best solution is for us to find a damn hotel. I don't think Wendy should be mortified. I think that like it's actually unreasonable to expect every single room in a house in an Airbnb to have its own bathroom.

Well, you know, it is Robin and Robin has really thrown some of the best trips out of all the cast rides. I mean, Robin is such a good host. What was that trip that she? Oh, she hosted the trip when they all had to drive up to her house outside of Baltimore. That was a cast. Right. Yeah. That's Robin. the trip when they all had to drive up to her house outside of Baltimore. That was a cast. Right. Yeah. That's Robin. That's what Robin plans. Robin will plan something to sell a house, like a flipped house. I don't think she's ever planned a trip. Robin, be quiet. You put forth zero effort on this show. Okay. You're lucky. They even let you use that. They should have

dug a hole for your ass in the back with all the effort you make on this show. And also she showed up late and then was upset that she got the worst accommodation. Yeah. So Mia just says nothing to do with anything really, but they're still at dinner. Have you seen how Mia eats? It's so weird. I don't know. I haven't, but I'm going to imagine is it like this? It's very lippy like she puts a food right behind her lips and then just kind of moves her lips up and down I have no evidence that she's eating anything. It just looks like it looks like improvisation eating except there's real food in her mouth Does that make any sense? It's like a mind eating but with real food It's almost like she's brushing her teeth with food in her mouth. Does that make any sense? It's like a mind eating but with real food. It's almost like she's brushing her teeth with food in the front. Like she's like sort of exfoliating her teeth.

It's pretty weird. So they get back in the vans to go home and um, Candace is like rubbing her fingers on Chris's head and Gordon's like, oh my god, look what Candace is doing to Chris's head or Chris's head and Gordon's like, oh my God, look what Candace is doing to Chris's head or. Yeah. And then me and I was like, well, when bitches fuck up, they got to make up and Candace is like, me, I need to shut the fuck up. I can deal with and tolerate people that push buttons like Ashley, the forehead, Darby,

okay. But she needs to shut the fuck up. You just did not tolerate that at all. Actually, you'd leave it just lost your mind. We want, please. So then Robin is in the back talking about her period. She's like, before my cramps weren't that bad, but then after I had kids, I was like,

oh, there's so much worse now. I'm carrying it's like, look, Robin in a period is coming at me. I love this Robin in a period back then. Robin looks miserable. I think it would be good for Juan to show up in surprise her. He doesn't have to stay the whole time and just be good for Robin.

You know, so she can stop hanging out with Jizelle. Who's a bad influence? She's like a one wick to her three wicks. And Chris is like, let's play cards when we go home. And Gordon's like, I'm going to bed because I'm getting a piece of ass. I don't know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no like turns to Eddie and Chris and he's like, he's like, guys like you and him. I mean, you guys are average motherfuckers, right? And they're like, uh, what? Um, yeah, they start talking about Dicks and stuff. But first of all, it's like, well,

apparently I'm just imping some ass. What did you think he was? He picked you up in a strip club and even your business has something to do with crack. Come on. He picked you up in a strip club and even your business has something to do with crack So he starts talking about his big dick and asked his like come on now And he calls them all average and Candace is like no, no, no, no, no, do not do that No average around here listen the brown dick is doing what it needs to do So don't you worry and Gordon's, he does not have a brown dick. He has a white dick. And he goes,

dance pink, I'm sorry. So we're not all dogs, okay, lady? Oh. And then Chris, he stands up and he starts to like unzip his pants to show his dick and everything. And he's like, do I want to see that brown penis? Hell no. But then like Chris is kind of joking,

so he sits back down again, but then Gordon stands up and he's gonna whip his out, and I'm not convinced that Gordon was not going to do that. Yeah, I know, but instead he just like shows him all this but starts like but dancing and stuff. And I care, I'm scared for my life. And Gordon's like, yeah, pussy popping in the air shit. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then did you see Dre? Dre, when when Gordon started, when Chris started to do this thing and Gordon to Dre, like turned and stuck his head into the corner of the seat, like a little, like a very scared little puppy. He just was like, why did I agree to go on to this trip? I hate this all so much. And Ashley tells us people can say what they want about Michael, but at least he can conduct himself

around people. He just met. And then they show the season one clip at a boat party with Michael taking off his pants. So now Jesus saying how he wants to go to strip club. And he's like, trying to help the driver to go to the strip club Because he thought he heard them say they want to go to the strip club. They're like no, no, we just want to go back The house. Yeah, cuz he said let's do some pussy poppin and actually it's like well is there a strip club? And he's like actually wants to go to the strip club So then back at home Everybody's getting ready to go to bed and

Just tell it's like Robin Dixon Dixon, we need to hunt for hotels. And yeah, so they're going to go look for a hotel, and then they decide they're going to go to a Marriott. Although they never say Marriott again after that initial time, they just keep on referring to a place that's 30 miles away. I'm like, we know you're at the Marriott. Okay. Stop trying to act like you're maybe at like a Ritz Carlton, we know you're at the Marriott. Okay, stop trying to act like you're maybe at like a Ritz Carlton or something.

You're at the Marriott, okay? So then Chris and Kampiser and their room, all drunk and Chris is like, I'm really tired of y'all whim and going at each other. And she's like, well, I wasn't going at, no. Okay, yes, I was. I was. And he's like, and then you go at a husband, I mean, come on.

I thought I was going, making an in-road with Ashley. And she's, and by the way, every time he's talking, they keep cutting away to the, the drink that's in his hand because they're, again, they're really trying to push this narrative that Chris is an alcoholic without actually verbalizing it on the show. So, um, Candace is like, well, that bitch took a cyber because that's what raggedy bitches do. And he's like, you know, what she, what she knew was that you'd respond

and you played right into it. And she's like, I know. And he goes, I'm gonna say this. And you're gonna rip me a new asshole. And, but I'm just gonna say it anyway, Candace. You know what, she's not that bad. Okay, she has her moments, she's not that bad. And Candace is like, yeah, but all it takes is one moment.

And he says, but then you got a cousin fuss for that moment and then just reel it in. She's like, well, I'm done this weekend. This was my day. And now I'll be good all weekend. He's like, Pinky, Bronos. She's like, what's that acronym? GVO. Yeah, they were so close to singing into the woods at that moment. What moment is a moment? She's life is made of moments. I would have been so happy if they did that. If they just broke into like a Joanna Gleason song.

LAUGHTER So then Escalik goes up to Giselle and Robbins Room and they're getting ready to leave. And she's like, no! And Jizelle's like, yes, for me to go to the bathroom, I have to go down the stairs, but you're about to go down the stairs to leave. Again, how many times are you going to go down the stairs talking about how many times you have to go down the stairs? I know. The host has given zero F's about me and my toe being broken. She's too busy being bitter. So by y'all, I'm like, you're the one who is so bitter, you're traveling to

a marry out 30 miles away. And then we get a good shot of what Mia and Gordon's marriage is like after, you know, talking about how much ass he's going to get, he's sleeping in the bed. And it's like, you shower and jumping in the bed with a nasty else. This was actually great because on Bravo, we get a lot of scenes of couples going to bed or about to have sex. And it's like, we know it's fake because there's still like a camera crew there. There's still like people in the house, you know, that have to be let out and light that have to be taken down. And or it's like they wake up in the morning. They got a full face of makeup. This is like the first time I feel like I saw someone go to sleep on Bravo,

who was like really going to sleep. Like Gordon was in that bed. Like, they were like, Comfort was like over his ears. He's like, I don't care. I'm asleep. Yeah. So, Jacelle is asking you a scholar for help with your bags and the scholars. Like, well, I feel like I'm creeping at nights, sneaking out at my parents. I mean, is this really happening right now? Like, no one will notice I'm gone. Nah. Yeah. And Ascala is like, she's just like trying to help out

with the bags and everything. And Mia pops out and she's like, Rabin, where are you all going? You guys aren't really leaving, are you? And Rabin's like, we need a place with a bathroom we're leaving we don't have a bathroom and there's men in this house we're not walking all the way over to that bathroom I'm not mad at Wendy but don't have a big trip if you can't accommodate everyone comfortably I mean what if one came then we're showing a room with you, Zell? Call me spoiled. I don't care. I'm dipping So me is like my garden and from new what was going on when we come down and give you

Solution like yeah, you're you're polite ass husband up there So you're like Prince of a husband up there. Yeah, he's been just nothing but the epitome of a gentleman. Right. So, just I was like, well, I'm happy that y'all care, because the host doesn't da. And Mia's like, well, of course we care. Are you kidding me? And then a scholar is like very nervous because they're going to be driving through you know it's late at night they're going to be driving down roads

that they don't and in town that they don't know sort of sort of in the South. So she's like, Call me as soon as you get home. As soon as you get home, Call me as soon as you get home. She's like very, very nervous about it. Understandably. So then, of course, Eddie is up looking out the window watching them. Watch him go Wendy's like, they're leaving in the middle of the night. I feel like they're trying to make a moment and whatever.

And so then just just drives off like, geez, that's I can't even get a bathroom. If life is full of moments, then this is just a moment. How's it go Eddie? How does that song go that they were singing downstairs? Life is only made of moments Now I'm ever gonna buy one And if you have a moment, then you never know you had one I like this I like this sort of like I don't know I don't know I'm trying to try to figure out what style that was

That's sort of like a try to figure out what style that was. That's sort of like a kind of version. Louncing me. Yeah. I just made a moment. Hey, yeah. So in the morning, Mia comes into the kitchen and Gordon's made her coffee and she tastes it. She's like, I'm so asked me to some last meal.

The new news and my coffee and coffee tastes like caramel. Well, yeah, she's like, okay, well, I'll just keep drinking it. And then we have everyone FaceTiming everyone, Wendy FaceTimes, the kids were cute, of course, and then Karen FaceTimes Ray. And we see Ray, he's in a car, and he's got a seatbelt on across his chest,

and he goes, I'm in the car, it's like no shit, Ray. I thought you were at the circuit city. Of course you're in the car. Yeah, and well, he's probably just reminding himself. I thought you were at Circuit City. Of course you're in the car. Yeah. And well, he's probably just reminding himself too, you know. He probably does his offer a second wakes up and just has to remind himself. I'm in the car.

So then Gordon's looking for breakfast and he's really, he's going through it down the kitchen because he can't find utensils, he can't find anything. He's going through like the Airbnb thing But I feel like he thinks that he's the first one to go through the Airbnb thing because anytime you go to an Airbnb Nothing is where it's supposed to be and there's always like you only get the bare minimum right you get like a Spatula if you're lucky and like and then some knife. That's like not appropriate Like a very small bread knife that's supposed to be your knife for the weekend

Yeah, I know you don your nap for the first time. Jail, they're only giving you things that aren't sharp. Yeah, me as like, I was hoping you were going to make it because like, I mean, breakfast ain't bad because like, how is this going so far? I mean, this is not lingerie. There's no shorth, there's nobody that got my bang. I mean, does somebody coming like clean our room? I mean, it's a pandemic. You guys are in an air band being a pandemic, right?

You're also Mia. Who are you fucking kidding that you're like, you know, traveling the world like the Queen of England? Get over yourself. Yeah. And then you start, start talking about Candace and saying how Candace has a lot of growing up to do. And then she facetimes her kids and her mom. And meanwhile, Ashley facetimes Michael and Michael's like, Dylan, dude, great last night. I went to sleep at quarter to 11. That's wrong. I absolutely was not out past 11.

And I certainly was not anywhere anywhere but at home earlier than 11 o'clock when I went to sleep. And Dylan also went to sleep at six and I definitely did not bring Dylan to, for example, a trip club at the MGM. That's something that definitely did not happen. So then Karen is talking to a scholar and she's like, well, it wouldn't be a girls trip if Robin and Jacelle didn't try something Jacelle leaving in the middle of the night. It's tackier than she dresses typical Jacelle Taka And then we we go back to Michael on the phone

Well Dean on the other hand, he couldn't he wouldn't go to sleep I was like you're being being a bad, bad boy, bad, bad boy. And Ash is like, well, please don't call him a bad boy. Well, he's got you the two options. He's either a good boy or a bad boy. And we've gotten no other choice. But I don't like that word. I don't call you bad, Mikey. Yeah. And you think you're raising Michael right I think Michael is proof that you're doing this wrong, okay So actually it's like you know sometimes there are reminders that we're from a completely different Reminder is from a different generation look at his face

My god, he's got the cataracts of a 20-year-old dog about to be put down crying out loud. Oh my goodness. So then, so now people are still waking up. There's like a lot of waking up. People are waking up in waves and they're doing it very slowly. And they're just, they keep waking up. And Gordon is still looking for utensils. He's still looking for like a ladle or something and he's getting so cranky about it. And it really works better when Eddie's also there to look because Eddie goes over to these open shelves.

I mean, it's just, yeah, open shelves. So he goes over to this other part of the kitchen with open shelves and he's just like staring at each rack and they're open. There's nothing he even has to open and look around in. It's hilarious. The guys just can't figure out what the kitchen is supposed to do. They are so confused.

There's only one person who really should be in there and that's Chris, Chris, who is teaching online cooking and who's always, I guess, wants to have that cookbook at one point or something. And where is he? He's hung over. And, you know, Chris, you're on TV. This is your moment to show off your skills

You got to wake up when people are up. You got to wake up, okay, and you got to make your duck against the DS for everyone Yeah, so they do you start cooking Karen's like well Robin and Gisele will smell the bacon and calm ah And then we just get a montage of all the times that Gisele has eaten breakfast a montage of all the times that Jacelle has eaten breakfast? Just Jacelle floating towards a spread of food as I often do at any reception. I'm like, oh, well, I guess if it's here, I might as well have a bite, right? It's just like, it's just sort of like slowly circling around and pulling a plate and then eyeing the goods, you know? Yeah, it was just such an odd thing to put in there. It's like wow, it's a breakfast and Jacelle is eating. This is crazy

ten times Karen's like a lot of mouth is always full of food So is lighting those little wood things and Karen's like are you staging? And she says now this is Smaging to get rid of the's mirror. So you just hear, oh, upstairs. Can this is like, I'm burning. I know. Can this just turns into like dust. So then Ashley Face Times, Giselle in the kitchen and Giselle is like in the dark.

She's like, you know in her own like Blair witch thing that's going on over there. And she says, she's all talks about how she had breakfast and laid back down and as she goes, well where are you guys? She goes, we are, we are 30 minutes away at an undisclosed luxury location. His name I shall not say out loud.

So you're fine then. You and your theater exa and she's like what theatrics Karen? She's like you didn't say goodbye to the host and she's well the host hasn't said shit to me. So the host is not a host star. And then out of nowhere Wendy just appears and she's like you're lying you're lying and and we see that Wendy greeted them and I was like, welcome, even though Wendy can't stand them, she did actually greet them when they arrived. Yeah, and in the Wendy, I hate you way.

She's like, hello, I'm so happy you're here. So happy. So just like, oh, God, she's so angry. And Wendy said, what did she say? Karen says, she said you're angry. Mm. Yeah. And Wendy's like, well, she's clearly confrontational. So, well, she bases like whatever, to her.

So then there's Gordon finally gets a utensil and starts to cook on some eggs. Or I'll just like eating breakfast and everything. And then finally Chris shows up and he's like, oh, what do you need me to do? What do you need me to do? It's like Chris, you literally just left through like what was supposed to be your big moment, okay?

And because you slept through it, your big moment is you sweeping salad off the floor last episode. Yeah, it's because you missed your big moment. Now Wendy is going to have a French toast cookbook just to show you. I know, that's exactly right. Wendy was like, my famous French toast.

I'm like, oh God, this is gonna be a thing, isn't it? Well, so she asked Whitney, or Mia, how she's feeling and she's like, well, I mean, I can talk to Canvas. I'm always ready to have a conversation. I just wanna understand why she goes so long. I mean, what is going on with you that you feel but me, you know what, I can mean? It's called her mom.

So then, uh, so then Mia, Mia's like, is there someone going to clean this house? And Wendy's just like, it's fine. Just you just go have fun. I'm going to straighten up. Cause again, Mia acting like she is the queen of England here. So then big, exciting news. Guess who's here? It's right. It's right everyone.

Ray, Ray, Ray's here. Oh, Ray. Oh, I'm so excited to be Ray. Welcome to a Surrey County adjacent. Welcome, Ray. Welcome. Welcome to Surrey County adjacent. Welcome Ray. Welcome. Welcome to Surrey County Ray. Oh, thank the Lord Ray is here. Ray. He's like, well, if I was home, I'd have my coffee by now. And say, well, let's have some coffee then. So he talks about how on his ride he finally got to read a book because he doesn't really get a chance to read books these days. Oh Ray that's the sparkling banter I missed for the past 24 hours. What do you think about getting on a boat today? You think you can read a book on a boat? I don't want you to get seasick.

I see white caps, white caps, Ray. So then Candace and Chris are talking and about like how they don't want to go on the boat. And Candace is like, but what if I get sick and he's like just lean over the side girl. So then back to Karen. She's like, oh, it was a hard night yelling, screaming dishes with roll. And don't talk to me about tossing salad, Ray. Mmm. Oh, we went to dinner, and it was a hot mess, and outside of that, just зelling Robin.

They roomed in another private bathroom. So just, oh, it's true to form. Mmm, nice and into the nearest hotel, Ray. It's time for commercial. It's time for... Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then Robin and Jasella back, they're back everybody. and they're not the only ones who are back by the way No, well, this is back Ronnie Ray the cow the cow's back. Yeah, they cut to the cow. Yeah, mm-hmm. Oh my favorite vacation cast member So Robin and Jaselle come in and he is like And then everybody just starts gathering in the kitchen and she's else in like super good spirits to show everybody she's not here to fight she just wanted a room right.

She's like, hello, good morning, good morning, good morning. And a scholar emerges in like these are like 1960s, I forgot what you call them those sunglasses white rims that are just kind of like pointed, you know, and she's got like a, like a schmata on her head. So she's getting like a very sort of like throwback, 60s, you know, look, whatever, which is, that has no importance on anything. I just felt like it was important to, I just like when people dress up like the far side, you know? And so then Candace is like, I need some drama, I mean, I'm he's like, isn't it drama? It isn't drama. I mean, drama. Girl, you're so full of drama. It's drama. I mean, to which I asked you, Ronnie, isn't it? I thought it was drama. I mean, it's drama. I mean, it is drama. I mean, I don't want to be a music. She's a fun

dumb, but God, she a dumb dumb. So Candace is like Basically she goes to get some so Andy Eddie and Andy That's her couple name Andy Eddie and Wendy come in and just they'll just give a look like mmm and Wendy ignores her. She's like she doesn't even look at me Which is fine because I don't want to look at you either.

Yeah, that says like the woman who was like sitting there like craning her neck, that way she can be looked at by Wendy, you know? So, so yeah, so then Escalo meets Ray for the first time, which is exciting, and then Ray meets Ray. And then Ray goes over to talk to Giselle and you know, it's sort of like bantering with Giselle and

everything and he's like Karen Giselle told me you broke her toe. Had you miss her neck? And I was like oh Ray. I enjoy Ray. So I want Ray to live so I can laugh. So Wendy, Wendy just gives a speech 10 times a day. Wendy's so excited to a plan to trip. She's like, hello, everybody. Thank you so much for coming. It's day two now. You can calm down with the speeches. So she tells them they're going to go on a boat and then they all leave.

And she's like, welcome to the car. Thank you so much for coming, everybody. Today, this car is gonna go between 35 and 55 miles per hour when not at a stop. Please enjoy. So they get to the boat and it's really kind of not much happening, right? I mean, especially after the past two weeks, yeah, after the past two weeks, this episode's like, what the hell is this show doing now? Every note I'm reading, I'm like, this doesn't go anywhere. I'm like,

and then a scholar showed up and she's wearing sunglasses. And I was like, why am I telling the people this? And then Mia walked into a room and and Porter solved some water. I'm like, okay, no, I felt the need to write that down and then share that with our audience, but I did it. And here we are. So they get to this boat and the bar and the food is downstairs inside with the restaurant. I know, but you have to explain it because they keep going upstairs and downstairs. Guys, guys, so here's what's crazy about this episode. The bar is downstairs, but everyone's sitting upstairs. This, uh, guys, uh, we're going to be on tour.

What a, what a day to announce that. Guys comes to us on tour where we can tell you about all sorts of other accessories that people put on and different scenes. There's been a lot of talk about people going up and down stairs today. Thank you so much for subscribing. Okay, get those tickets. Thank you for buying tickets. So we can't wait to tell you about the intricacies of having to go downstairs to get your cocktail

to bring it upstairs on a boat. Yeah, but that's almost all that happens. I mean, half of these notes are like, and then they were looking at the cabinets more. So, I keep writing down these notes because I feel like it's like, ooh, I should write this down because I think this is gonna matter

and then it doesn't at all, and I just never go back and delete it. So let's see, yeah, Chris is getting drama me now. Just scrolling through the notes, me order some wine, you know. So then let's see, I'll just pass this. Okay, so then Robin is downstairs with the scholar. They're having a drink downstairs. And so Robin's like, you know, there's nowhere I could make

that work so I got a hotel. I'm fine. And a scholar's like, you know, there's no way I could make that work. So I got a hotel. I'm fine. And a scholar's like, so you're not offended? She's like, no, I mean, it's not proper planning, but I didn't really think it was directed at anyone. I mean, whatever, it's fine. So then upstairs, me is like, rain. So now that you're back in your marriage, Bob, why would you renew your vows? And he is like, well, it's our 25th year

and you're not guaranteeing 25 more. If you don't do it today, you're not promised tomorrow. So since I heard that basically, when you get your wedding, vows renewed, that it ends the marriage, I'm like, I don't wanna wait any longer to go to Florida. So we're doing it. Yeah.

So then back to a scholar in Robin, a scholar's like, I don't want to wait any longer to go to Florida. So we're doing it. Yeah. So then back to a scholar in Robin. A scholar's like, you need to have a conversation with Mendy. And Robin's like, anything I say to her turns into a debater, confrontational, and I'm not really just, I'm just not interested in that. And then we see that Mia has come down for a drink too and can hear. Yeah.

And Robin's like, well, I could see the sky is blue and then she would debate that. I would rather just keep interaction to a minimum. Which is funny because then we go back outside again and we see that the sky's kind of like white today. So I was like, I actually would lose that argument today. So a scholar keeps trying. She's like, oh, so you're saying you're avoiding her?

You're avoiding her? And she's like, no you're saying you're avoiding her you're avoiding her She's like no, I'm just saying keep it simple, but do you like her? Do you like her? It's like I don't know. I mean last year when we met I liked her and she was so down to earth I mean we had Margarita in the park. She had some on her per or I had some of my person. She took one I mean we clicked but maybe I was wrong and but maybe I was wrong. And Ascala says, well, I really love Wendy and the person that I'm friends with

is feuding with people that I'm friends with. And now that makes me feel very Natalie and Brulia, I'm torn. And Rob is like, well, I don't want you to feel torn. I know I wouldn't be upset, you know, for you to be close to Wendy, I wouldn't be upset at all.

Which, you know, never trust that on a housewives show. Yeah. So then back upstairs, Mia comes to stir some shit. I mean, listen, we can say what we want about Mia, but at least she understands when things are boring. She understands the assignment of this. Yes. So she's like, wow, so Wendy, I heard you're not the same person as you were anymore.

I heard that downstairs. She's like, who said that? Rapin said it. And she goes, well, you damn right, I'm not the same person because we grow. And we evolve as women. And if she's the same person, she was a year ago, then she needs to change. So she needs to mother fucking evolve. And then she starts sipping way too hard on her straw to look unbothered, but she's so bothered. Remember that excellent shrimp from last night. I'm totally unbothered, but she's so bothered. Remember that excellent shrimp from last night? I'm totally unbothered. That shrimp was amazing.

Motherfucking-a-ball. It sounds like a vanilla-scented single-wit candle to me. Good for you, Wendy. So, this is around when things started to get strange for me. Oh wait, no, it's in a little bit. I'll bring this up in a little bit. So put a pin in that, everyone. I'm sorry, everyone.

So Robin and Skala come back upstairs and he's like, welcome back, friends. And she's like, did you miss us? Well, Wendy might not miss you, but I miss you because I overheard your conversation. And so now, she came up and reported it to the group. She goes, oh, what was the conversation? That Wendy isn't the same.

So she's like, well, I said that our friendship isn't the same. And it's like two minutes ago. We're having a good week. We clicked. I think I was wrong. Yeah. And they're just like, just like me, we're going to work on your telephone tag.

God. You gotta love me for who she is. That thing is a space cadet, okay? Love you, me, y'all. Well, if I was wrong, I am a woman and I can't admit that. And I guess me, me, I was wrong kind of. But I sincerely heard you say that you think Wendy is a terrorist. I literally said nothing even liked that.

Well, if I'm wrong, I apologize. I may have gotten that wrong. And Robin's like, oh, I'm not interested in engaging in an debate. If I'm going to engage in something, I need it to last endlessly without me actually ever having to have a ceremony. Okay. without me actually ever having to have a ceremony. Okay. And Wendy's like, you know, you just know where people own your life. And when you're an adult, you place them

or whatever that means. So then it goes to commercial. And then this is where weird things happen for me because my DVR, I use YouTube TV. And something went weird with my YouTube TV. I don't know if it happened to other people, but right before we came back to the show, there was a commercial for there's a new series, I guess, called I Know What You Did Last Summer based on the movie. And something weird happened

where the commercial was playing, but the show started up again. So for like five seconds, I was watching Potomac, but he knew our commercial or I know what you did last summer, which was strange, but also worked in a weird way. Like it turns out I know what you did last summer, like fits in perfectly with the real housewives of Potomac. But then what happened was for the entire rest of the episode, no matter what I did, if I reloaded, if I exit it or whatever, it was something that happened to the DVR on the YouTube TV. So everything I was hearing was five seconds delayed from what I was seeing, and it was very, very strange for me.

So I may get some stuff wrong. Well, thankfully for you, it was a very slow episode. So you could kind of have time to catch up. So Wendy is like, please understand, while you guys may have problems with me as a person, you can always come to me for a conversation. And that said, Jacelle, I was a good host. I was very nice to you. And nobody was relegated to a room.

Everybody got to pick. The house was booked before anything happened to your toe. Thank you. And Jacelle's like, well, this is your trip, ba. And everyone knew we were leaving, just like, well, this is your trip, Pa, and everyone knew we were leaving. I'm just like, no, that was after you left. Nobody knew you were leaving until after you left. And just I was like, but in the text, there was no, are you okay? Okay. Did you get hit by Freddie? Googrr. No, well, Karen's like, well, no, a scholar texted you in the group.

She said, where are you? I hope you're okay. Please I cannot go to see but tell you tell me please please Please tell me I'm very terrified for you and you know We didn't worry because she's into be losing her mind on on behalf of all of us And she knows what you did last summer chisel she knows So basically just else trying it, but it's not working because she's just foolish. So then when he's like, well, she made a choice, but you can't blame the host for that. She goes, well, I don't even know what this conversation is about. And Robin's like, listen, I just did what made me feel comfortable.

I didn't feel comfortable in a house or men were using that same bathroom and pissing all over the floor of a germafol. So this is new, suddenly Robyn's a germafol. And then Chris goes, I didn't piss on the floor. And so, which of course, by the way, Chris totally pisses on the floor. I think we can just, we just can assume that, right? Like he's definitely a floor pisser.

The only man in this house that don't piss on the floor, in my guess is, are Eddie and Dre. I think everybody else is a floor pisser. I mean, Ray, come on. Yeah. Chris is basically like a hose that hasn't been turned off, just like flopping around down there. You just, you just know that.

You know that Gordon pisses all over the floor. His wife has to tell him to clean his ass before bed. So, yeah, that's where he stands. Yeah. So, um's where he stands. Yeah. So Karen's like, well, I suspect as y'all piss Robin, I think Robin beat on the floor. She just wants to get these men up and out of here.

Mm. So Robin goes, well, I'm not mad at all. Okay, I just left, but I'm not mad. Now, Jacelle might have wanted more, but I didn't want anything. Yeah. So Jacelle is, they're basically, basically Jacelle might have wanted more, but I didn't want anything. Yeah, so Jacelle is basically Jacelle. I was like, yes, we're cool, Wendy. Everything's good.

Everything's good, so Wendy goes, yep, next question. So then Jacelle says, what's always combative and always aggressive with you? And Wendy's like, well, you're always a mean girl and always a bully. Thank you, wah! Where are we having this conversation around the guys? I mean, do you even want to listen to this bullshit?

And Chris goes, well, we know that when the chime in and went hot to and raise like, usually it's not too. So they end up just walking off to like, I guess that we should leave now and let them, let them do this on their own. Yeah, exactly. So the news just starts to pop and, you know, they're talking about Robin saying, how it looks like an uncircumcised penis coming out of the skin, the pump and everything. And ultimately, we just sort of glide into Mia and Candace having a conversation. And so

Mia is like, obviously, I said something that is draconir and I know that I'm just getting a chance to get to know you right now and I never want to be responsible for inflecting negative energy on someone and I own that and I'm hearing that and the only question I asked was who's the manager and is he getting paid and that's it. Yeah, all of Paul and James are hurting you. I'm asking questions that may not be any of my business. And Kat, this is like, I appreciate that. Because it wasn't really the questions

to my mom that triggered me as much as the comments about my project. My project. We get a clip of the low budget comment. And she's like, I was definitely, I don't want to cry. I don't want to cry. I'm crying now. I was definitely hurt by what you said,

because I work so hard to live out my dream again. It is so important to me I don't know if I'm doing it right. I was scared. Oh my god. Thank you Candace this is all you needed she should have said this in the first place I can't believe she actually took our unheard advice Yeah, that's what I just wanted her to do this whole time. Just make yourself the victim girl. So she did and it worked very well. Yeah, she made herself the victim

and she was, I think, being a little over the top about like, oh my God, it's my dream and I don't know, I'm scared, I'm scared. So then Candice is like, she's like, I don't want to ever feel like something I'm doing is not being respected. At the very least, I don't want anything to be. something I'm doing is not being respected at the fair least. I don't want anything I'm like, well girl

You may want to rethink your role on this show. So me is like, I'm gonna You don't have to ask me. I'm really gonna. I mean one time I spit out a ping pong from my Actually hit a light and like a bell in this tram climb and nobody even applauded. I'm like, I think that what it's like to give your art to me, Paul, and get nothing good to return. Well, you don't have to understand or appreciate my creative journey, but at least respect it. Creative journey, dancing in a parking lot. So, um, me

was like, well, I'm sorry, that now, but now I know your boundaries. And it's basically like your stack up brochures. And now I know where to put you. Thank you. So, Candace is like, okay, and now to you, I was not aware of stuff with your mom. And when I said your mother was low budget, I didn't realize she was literally low budget. And it was pushing a button in you that was traumatic. And I don't want to cause that kind of hurt. I thought your mom was like an indie film. You know, when your mother's low budget,

I thought like your mom's like clerks up a lov it and iconic indie film from another time. That's all I was saying. Yeah, because I went around and you attacked me because my mom has been to prison. She was on drugs and now she's doing great. I mean, she goes to church. So I just don't want her to be hurt by comments

that aren't her fault. Okay, good point, but also stop coming on TV and saying my mom went to jail and it was a drug addict over and over. Yeah. And then she tells us that story about how her mom's parents both died while she was in prison and she couldn't

go. She couldn't basically bury her parents because she didn't want to have shackles on and the church, et cetera. So it's very sad. And Candace is like, well, I know how I felt with my own mom issues. And my mom is alive and actually has no issues with, with, has no substance abuse issues. So I can't even imagine what Mia is going through. And my mom's already a terror as it is. Yeah. Candace is like, I mean, my mom hit me in the head with her purse, but at least I have a double-sea imprint on my head. I mean, I, I got, I came out of this with the winner. The best part about that double-sea imprint is that it's never, the mirror image is never a problem. It always reads exactly the same. So they basically are like cry, they're just like, you know, it's like it's okay to cry

about this stuff or crying. They're just joking about crying in the group and everything and some cry more than others and everything is good, everyone's good. So now it seems like everyone's going to be fine to get into the van and their snacks or everybody's happy, but then Ashley is kind of sleeping up against the window and Gordon starts making fun of her. He's like, hey, everybody, look at Ashley, look at Ashley sleeping. It's like, oh my God, could you please just leave me alone? Stay on your side of the car, okay? Yeah. Yeah. And he's like, just, and he's like, oh, he's like, well,

Ashley, I didn't know you're awake. And I wouldn't have said, should if I knew you're awake. She's like, well, don't say anything't know you're awake and I wouldn't have said, should if I knew you're awake. She's like, well, don't say anything. Period. Okay. I'm just trying to take a little nap. Yeah. So I'll stand my corner and you stand yours.

And he's like, well, I'm going to keep talking to you because it's fun. But I always going to be between Gordon and Ashley next. Yeah. They have like a little busspat. It's sort of a weird, weird thing to end the episode on. I wasn't really sure why they ended it with this. I felt like they could just start the next episode with it. But yeah, so we'll have to find out next week to find out what happens in the van if this

fight will ever be mended. Exciting times coming. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for being with us. Go get tickets for the live show over at watchwhatcrapins.com to go on sale Friday and join us for a talk, take a seat tonight. I almost said it because dammit, you got that talk in my mind. Sorry, I'm sorry, take a seat.

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