Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Grope Burn

Episode Date: July 16, 2019

There's a Housewives Hoedown on "The Real Housewives of Potomac" as the group reels from sexual assault allegations leveled at Michael. Pretty much everyone winds up fighting — except Katie, who just sticks to awkward toasts. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay. Kristi Wawardy-Dawardy.

Jamie, she has no last name. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. Zip some scotch with Jessica Trot. Chazzy Savoni, she don't take no baloney. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters! What you talkin' about Willis, it's Sonic Illis! Aaron McNickalis, she don't miss no trickle-ists! Megan the Slayer Taylor, in a Homer with Jeffrey Bomber!

Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow we go high-low. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burr! Ain't no thing like Allison King! Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang! Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Hannah, God I love that banana. Anderson! Avonigila Weber!

Lisa Walland, now that's what I call wallentainment. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium Patreon subscribers. Give them hell, Miss Noel. Lulu Simon. Sue, Sue Studio. We're all in with Julia Conlin. Always ready for Nicole Pasarelli.

One day your Rachel's in. And the next day, you're out. Yes, we can with Howley, Carolyn, and Ann. Nancy, Ceasin, Desisto. We grant the grant master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Incredible, edible Matthew sisters.

And... Mina, Kuchikuchi Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast that all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. It's on YouTube, it's a cartoon. And joining me is the co-host of Roseprix, a Bachelor Rose podcast. It's the one and only Ronnie Carrom. What's going on Ronnie?

Well happy! Hi, I love when I like start the show talking like I'm a game show announcer. Come on down, Ronnie Carrom! I'm a game show announcer come on down running arrow It's a game with Plinko. Yes You guys we are one week out from our great tour of Cleveland Pittsburgh and Baltimore Pittsburgh is sold out, but we actually still have tickets and in Cleveland and Baltimore Although they are dwindling okay Cleveland is on July 25th.

Baltimore is on July 27th and we are finally able to say what we're covering at all three shows. In Cleveland, we're going to do the Beverly Hills reunion in Pittsburgh. We are going to do Roni reunion and in Baltimore, we're doing Southern Charms. So three marquee bravo shows for three fabulous cities. We're really excited. Go to watch our crapens.com to get tickets for Cleveland and Baltimore and also feel free to tweet on me any crab recommendations in Baltimore. I really want to get some of that just speak big crab, okay? So anyway, we're really excited for those shows. Come see us get your tickets while you can. We're only a week away, all right? And then, after that, we are going to a bajillion cities. We're just gonna read the list.

If you hear your city, be sure to go tell all your friends and say, hey, we're gonna watch our crappings. Okay. It's Charlotte, Nashville, two shows in Atlanta, Carbureau, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Fort Lauderdale, going back to Florida, Indianapolis, two shows in Chicago, two shows in New York, St. Louis, two shows in Philadelphia,

and our last show of the year, right in time for the holidays, Seattle, Washington. I'm sure we'll do a jingle bells, Giovanni, remix, just like Countess LeWand did for her holiday show, but don't hold us to that Go to watchacrapans.com for the tickets some of those shows are actually sold out so go check that out and While you're there, we have some fabulous merch that you can check out as well Ronnie. Tell everyone about it Well, we have three new

SIRTS this season We have resting honey face from Hannah from below deck. And we have deported. I keep what I'm reading the news too much. So I'm saying deported as friend of no, demoted to friend of in honor of Vicki Gumbelson and season one cameo those in a bitch Camille's inside the view. Okay. Yeah, just go to crapmansmourish.com to get those or just go to watch at crapmanst.com

or guys, guess what? You can also get a Patreon because that is where we have our bonus episodes and we have crapman's on demand. Our video episodes that we do twice a week, this week we're going to do below-deck and real real housewives of Beverly Hills reunion So that's that by the way so welcome. Oh, sorry. I was gonna say you know when you say the Demoted to friend of in honor of Vicki Gunvelson, I feel like we should like change the branding on that and say like in honor of Katie Ross or in honor of pretty much anyone but Vicki Gunvelson, like Luan, season five, uh, uh, Porsche for one season. Babe so how's crap in the time

and in honor of the bloody pay he in honor of brooks and i don't have a cancer what about you know you know you have to say fake cancer scandal what about you know you know she's a friend of and she was devoted down there can we have had an honor of you know you and her many faces and our asshole sons.

Original Robin voice. Mm. Oh, I am too young. Well, you know what the beauty of the shirt is? You can choose who you want to be inspired by, to demo yourself, to friend of. Yeah, for Vicki, I should just make what says, get a job.

Get a job. Anyway, yeah, there's all that good stuff. So let's go on to our recap of the day, which is Real House has Potomac. Wow, this show, whoa. I feel like Ramona tripping on the first step at a reunion. This show, this show has been's a Potomac. Whoa.

This show has been on fire. I mean, speaking of Baltimore and Crab's. Wow, these ladies, I think the last like four or five episodes, it's like Potomac is finally in the pocket. It was like pretty good. It was a little iffy maybe, but it is blazing hot right now. Yeah, sure is. It's hot enough to get arrested and go to jail for 11 years over it.

Yeah, seriously. Real houseless of a tonic. Yeah, this show has gotten as messy as we need it to be. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Although it bothers me that Ashley is going through a period of personal growth where she's like, now, now, not being messy anymore allegedly

because she's, you know, like on a journey to have a baby. I'm like, no, Ashley, we still want, you can have your baby, but still be messy, okay? That girl is not going on a journey of personal growth. She's going on the same journey, a roly-poly goes on, you know? She's been poked and now she's just in a ball rolling around, protecting herself, okay?

This is not growth. This is total self-preservation, you know? And who can blame her? I mean mean listen you need need to preserve yourself everybody moisturize She's not a roly-poly journey. I just really like that It's like you get poked and then you you curl up into a ball girl. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So a beard animal the roly-poly the rondel pondel so Yeah, yeah, exactly. So we're an animal, the Rolly Polly. The Rondle Pondle. So speaking of Rolly Polly, Jacelle and Robin, open up the episode by going to a kitchen store where they are sort of looking at cabinets and everything because they're both doing flips and Jacelle's like, yes, I am

making house Bryant and I carried the iron throne. And even thelle's like, yes, I am making house Bryant, and I carry the iron throne. And even the music was like, boom, boom, boom, we don't think so. Yeah, some music was like Robin's new neighborhood looks like Game of Thrones after the bad school time. I'm not gonna say what it is, because I know that some of you aren't gonna watch it for 10 years, okay?

Yeah, exactly. You know, me while Brandon is sitting there, be like, I don't think so. I'm just staring at them from the corner of the car. The kitchen shop just staring. Who is that kid in a wheelchair with a bowl cut? Why does he keep following us from each model kitchen to the next one? I don't like the red cabinets.

Why is that pigeon staring at us? He's like taking over the pigeons on the day bread. I am the three-eyed cabinet. Speaking of three-eyed cabinets, Jiselle is looking at leather cabinets. Please, please stop with your red leather cabinets. Okay, and Robyn's like, so these are the vibes you're going to do it up.

Whoa. And then Jiselle is talking about her flip, So these are the vibes you're gonna do it up Whoa And then Jacelle talking about her flip Which is that she wants to like I guess got the place etc and then add a second floor and the contractor said six months Good luck with that you're adding a whole second floor. I don't think so Well, I'm going through this process on a smaller house in Baltimore city I don't think she has any idea how much this stuff adds up. Robin, shall we work and make people work, okay? Yeah, seriously. But Jizelle is very confident.

She goes, I have the funds, every he was pumping, I have the confidence. Thank you, Dr. Ken, and what I need is a real house that is really mine. The IRS is not going to take. If you put the pizza on the front step. I will take the pizza So they start gossiping of course. Yes, that's what these scenes are really about I just like what imagining van der pump watching this thinking oh your house was mind hundred thousand dollars So three of my kitchens Congratulations, darling. Oh good luck finding a nickelane original kitchen.

That's white with pink accents in your store. Oh, my show. So they start gossiping about Katie. And Robyn's like, well, I met up with Katie. She's inviting us over for a hold down. And then we get a clip of Katie. And one of the most towardwigs has ever been featured on Bravo.

It was amazing. It was like, you know what it reminded me of, it reminded me of like when an actress is going for an Oscar, so she wears no makeup in the role and like a working class hairstyle because she's like a union organizer or something like that. It's like Charlize Theron. It works at the like pencil plant and

it's like hates the wages. So she's gonna lead a revolution and it's called something like erased and it's for your consideration and she's gonna look very plain in it to show she's serious. Uh yeah. I think she looks like my neighborhood after gay pride weekend because a bunch of drag queens get in fights or something because every time after gay pride I walk down the block and there's like bad Wigs on the ground like or hair pieces, you know, just or like a random high heel. Yeah, you know, That's Katie. Although she's also wearing glasses with outlenses right now. Katie is very confusing and I just you know, drugs are a crazy thing allegedly

Because it's like they make you think you're blind but not enough to get real glasses I don't understand what's going on, but yeah, not not into it Katie. She's on a personal journey She's been to the vortex which is an actual place on her farm and this is what happens after the vortex You start styling your hair like Nancy McKeein on the facts of life It's a bad Joe wig. It is a bad Joe wig, but that in its own way, it's the best Joe wig. Yeah. So Robyn's like, we're gonna go to her world at the farm. We're gonna play some cornhole, listen to crossbeast Hills and Nash. That was the funniest thing that Robyn has ever said. Playing our crossbeast in Nash and then Jazeal just laughed because it's just not a concept you

would think would ever enter this show. Crosby stills a Nash. So Jazeal's like, well, the first stah, order a business. Ashley. Yes, I do need some furniture. No, our friend Ashley Now the first order of business our friend Living spaces Off friend a key My nieces kept going uncle you want to go to living spaces? They kept saying that's not a store. It's called Thank you. Thank you. That's the appropriate thing. I've actually never been to living spaces. Apparently it's very nice. So my family's currently obsessed with

that because they asked to go there every day while I was in Texas. But the point is the vortex, okay, living spaces for text. Yeah. So it just feels like listen, Robin, all I said was just to apologize, okay? And you're like, no, no, I heard what I heard. And I said what I said. Yeah. And Robin's like, no, no, I heard what I heard, and I said what I said. Yeah, and Robbins like, well, I'm really not sure

what I'm supposed to be apologizing for. I mean, like, you're the one who brought all this up. Like, her big thing was that I brought it up instead of talking to her by a spot, you know, on the side, but you're the one who brought it up, and she's like, no, you're not going to bring Jazella into penis gate. I'm like, uh, you have mightily inserted yourself

and there's video footage to prove it. Yes, Jazella, but typical, typical Jazella, right? She's like, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. First of all, I was not there, I didn't hear it. I had nothing to do with it. So you're not bringing me into it. I have enough people who mad at me. I'm like, you did all of this and at least Robin calls do with it. So you're not bringing me into it. I have enough people who mad at me.

I'm like, you did all of this. And at least Robin calls for on it. She's like, you said that she should take me to the side and talk about it, okay? You're the one who initiated it at the table. Yeah, exactly. She sounds like, I'm rich, fine. I'll learn that it was partly my fault.

So I will re-bake Google politics politics together at the Hode Down Nah, which is actually a pretty big advancement for Giselle that she so easily was swayed to apologize partially. Well, 4%. She said she'll take credit for 4%. Okay. So Robyn's like, okay, we can both apologize. So then we get Canvasace at the pit master. While Chris is working hard reading a W magazine.

Yeah, this was, it seemed like it was just gonna be just a perfunctory scene of like, this is what married life is like, and we don't have time for each other. And it wasn't the fairy tale that I thought it would be, but it turns into a full-on explosion. And I feel like I want to be angry at Candace for just being awful and terrible and spoiled and wretched, but at the same time,

last season, I was complaining that we weren't getting enough of that side of her, so honestly, she is all those things, but I have to be happy that we're getting it because it's making things very enjoyable to watch. Well, yeah, I mean you can't have the wicked step sisters like being nice to Cinderella. There would be no fairy tale. Yeah, so yeah, so Candice she shows up at pit master and she's like asking about like she wants to have more date nights with Chris because she's not getting enough attention from him and he's basically like, hmm, no. Yeah, we get enough. Yeah, we get enough. We get enough.

I have to point out Candace drives it up in the car that her mom bought. Yeah. Yep. To the job that Chris is pretending to own at the restaurant he's pretending to own to fight about the mom that's paying their rent. Okay, let's just get that straight to start off. So she's like, well, any who I was thinking about therapy with my mom, she says I always cry. Any time I'm talking, she just talks over me. And he's like, well, I don't want to stop talking to me. And she starts talking over

him. Yeah. And meanwhile, I'm just like, eyeing the rolled up forks and knives in the napkin. I'm like, how long before she undoes that and turns it into a little blotting square? Like how long before this happens? Or throws it at somebody, you know, like the least lethal weapons in the world. It's like, wow, that's a dough knife. You better watch it, buddy. Yeah, you know, like a roll up. I mean, it's basically like a, like a Candice carry-all kit,

right? It's got everything she needs, something to block her eyes with and something to throw. And the fork, I mean, we're still waiting for a big fork scene and then it'll be perfect. So Chris is like, you know what? I mean, all the stuff that you're telling me is the same stuff that I tell you when you argue with me because like, well, we're arguing, you don't let me talk. Like, do not talk to me right now. This is not the same. I don't diminish you in the same way. And I was like, well, yeah, but

he also doesn't pay your rent. Yeah. And she was like, well, yeah, but he also doesn't pay your rent. Yeah. And she's like, this is not like you think it's Tuesday, and I think it's Wednesday. This is serious stuff. And Chris is like, but you literally just did it. Because I let you finish your sentence. And we get a flashback to five seconds ago.

Every watch can has interrupt Chris. Yeah. And she's like, I will not let you do this. I will not let you brummy under the bus. That is bullshit. And she leaves like folding up, you know, a tablecloth. She's like, she yanked a tablecloth up. She took one of those paper towel rolls. Someone was like actively wiping their ribs fingers on the paper towel roll. And she just yanked out their hands just unfurled the entire thing and folded it up into a nightlost nice little square Yeah, we'll be sorry. Gummy ever

Simple and effective origami So she goes to sit in the car that her mom bought and she's like I asked you not to use that as an example And you seem to think it's okay to use it and I don't like it. It's about Russ. Baaaagg. Bap, bap, bap. Yeah, she starts doing that. And she has this thing that she does, which is that if she speaks slowly and like purposefully, that it's somehow more, it somehow is like less childish.

She's like, I have asked you not to use that example and use it. And I don't like it. It's respect. She bases like Heather DeBro. Like a little chihuahua version of Heather DeBro. Vocal claw hands. Yeah, she has right now. She has tissue hands. So he's like babe, there's a middle ground.

You don't have to be totally nice and then totally evil. OK, like you're talking calmly at one moment and then you're screaming like crazy, okay? Can we just relax here? Yeah, there is no middle ground. I square I square And he's like you need to have less emotion, okay? When you get emotional you shut down I was like no when she gets emotional she burns down in town. Yeah, I would prefer She would get emotional and shut down personally she's like a spinning wheel on a computer. She goes, what does that even mean? And I swear to God when I was watching this, my TV spontaneously turned off. It was like, my TV was like, you know what, I can't with this bitch. I can't. No, no, no, no,

more watching Ben. Go do something else. Do something productive. Like play Mario Maker. Yeah, play Mario Maker too or something, but please you cannot keep watching this girl blot her eyes. I'm like, excuse me, Samsung. I have a job to do. And she's like, this is my right. My God, my God. Yeah.

So she's like, get away from my car. Get away from my car. And he's like, no, I'm not going to because we're supposed to work through this and I'm your husband and you're gonna listen to me. Yeah, I don't listen to shit. Yeah, seems off in Dorothy's car. Yeah and meanwhile she is act you know when she tells the stories of Dorothy and you're in the face with the purse which I shouldn't laugh at but it's just it's just such a like a slice like it's just such a roofed bu, buzzing kind of moment that you can't help but laugh. So like, when she tells that story and she's like, she hit me with a purse,

and then she does all this crazy behavior. Also, it's like the fact that she's unable to see the parallels between her mom losing her temper and, and, and also Candace losing her, her own temper is crazy to me. But that's what we now has been pointed out She really it does act just like her mother like just like her mother. I mean she she narrows her eyes. Yes She even starts your voice starts to sound like her mom Yeah, it's crazy and listen I get turning into your mother. Okay. I'm like a red wig away

So like I get it, but damn girl. Hmm. this is the grandum of commercial breaks. Time to take one. Security. Security. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us?

We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts.

You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondria. So, uh, there we go over to Karen and Roy on motorcycles. Roy? Ray. Ray! Yeah, this is like a really dumb scene. It's basically, Karen goes, well, after I left the salt cave,

I felt a new energy. I was like, I can live again. Which is probably the first time we've ever heard that phrase, especially on this show. I was an assalt cave, and it was very exciting. I didn't have a laser disc player, and I couldn't send a fax that I needed urgently send,

but still it was a lovely time. Well it also explains why she looks so good. She's probably just like sleeps in salt, you know, just like sleeps in a salt cave. Like I can live again, it's me again, Karen Walker, a lot of again and seasoned and ready to rumble. Security, security, somebody else trying to spill water in my salt cave, try to melt it away. It's not right. So she shows up wearing like leg jaggings

and some super stiletto boots. Yes. So teachers like, this is what we're wearing. Yeah, and she goes, well, growing up in the country, I rode dirt bags all the time. I know what a wheel is, and I've seen vehicles, so yes, I'm ready to do this. I was there when they found out what a wheel was.

We were eating cheese, and I dropped it on the floor, and someone said, well, that cheese is rolling, which should put some sort of vehicle on that, and that's the wheel was born. You're welcome, Jeff. Well, just this morning, I was playing with a Rolly Polly, and I was I was like that looks like a wheel looks like part of a motorcycle. I'm gonna live I Brought a Rolly Polly into the Salt Cave and we had a tour path of conversation the Rolly Polly said look at me

I'm like a wheel don't you want to get on me and I said I would but you're too small He said don't worry about me get out of motorcycle be just like you're on me And I said you got Rolly Polly and I left that salt cave and now I'm here living So he's like well those boots I guess are okay as long as you can shift in them and she's like oh We're gonna shift today Get that spinach out of my teeth Hmm Get that spinach out of my teeth That is what we're gonna shift what do you think you're gonna do that's how motorcycles work? Yeah, Karen

So they put in neutral, she's like okay, oh done or not living the life is happening living So salt cake post salt cake. Yes It's like well when I got married when I got married to Ray he was 50 and I was 30 and now he's 70 and I'm 30 But we're the same people as we were then so why not have a little fun And instructors like so what do we do if we get in trouble? She's oh Hop off the thing and let it go you know just like just like my career and So many of my cherished items like my romp appeal to Hydra, they're gonna stop working, I said, out of here. And the teachers like, no, we press the break.

She's like, oh, good one. All right, come on, let's do this. Mmm. So first she's like, they've made her do some power walks where she's like, walking, but riding in. Okay, oh wow. It's like a a beast but between my legs living I'm living right now living I've had the salt cake that I'm alive and I'm doing a power walk a power walk look at me like Shelley long at that movie hello again

hello again living again oh she shifts into first gear and goes like five miles an hour and then she gets off. She is Was wonderful. It was like being free again. I was like, okay, we got it. You've been reborn Karen, okay? Yeah Karen's always good for some one random activity once a season like the time she went like Flying she like tried to become a pilot remember that Yeah, so that her daughter could learn something about self-defense like next year she's like well today I decided I wanted to live so I'm going to have gas and I'm gonna fight as a mercenary I'll be back

is it called Iraq or I'm alive again well I was going to stationed in Iran, but I saw them I don't run from anything So they put me in Kuwait and I said I wait for no one. I said what about Turkey? I said you're the Turkey here Like what about Israel? Well, I am real no I've got a stamp I hate blink Pakistan you better pack your bags. So then we go over to Monique in a baby store. Where she's meeting Ashley. She's like the fact that she's on this journey to become a mother makes me want to share

my journey with her. Our friendship may have helped. It turns out like you can be terrible to each other as long as you can reproduce. Exactly. And Ashley's like, sorry, I lost my voice performing at Virginia Gay Pride. Yeah, seeing that one song to track can really do a number. There's nothing compared to the amount of people who lost their hearing. You know, I have to give props to Monique because she's on a pregnancy journey that I thought would be way more insufferable than it is. I was like, oh God, she is going to be the worst because she's doing some things that are

like annoying, but they're not annoying me. It's weird. Like when I compare it to like, you know, the season of Megan King Edmonds, who by the way has some real life challenges right now. So I'm not making fun of that. But when she was on Orange County, like that was insufferable. Absolutely awful to watch that. You know, I know that she was the first timer.

You know, by the time you have your, is this her third child? Yeah, this her third. Yeah. By the time you have your third, it's like, yeah, just take it. Yeah, just get it out of me. I, yeah, I generally do not like watching pregnancy

on Bravo. I, I, I, I, I did it for Bravo for either like older women who've been there done that moving forward and just want to get drunk right now or I want Younger vapid people, you know, I don't know if I want I don't know if I'm ready. Yeah, I'm in this to lab I'm in do it for six-year-olds pretending that they can't get pregnant like Ramona Maybe I'm gonna have another baby I had a pregnancy scare. I woke up feeling sick. I'm sure you want a quince and you're a two, you know, but sometimes things have passed. Yeah. Ramona. Oh, I would be very into a Ramona

quince and you're I never had a quince and you're when I was 15. So I decided, you know what? I'm gonna have a quince and there. All right. I mean, Sonia was in Latino. What was that magazine? Yeah, I was like Latina. Latina, I think, wasn't it called Latina? Latina is something like Latino. There was a word in there, but it's not essential.

Sonia Rita! Sonia Rita, yeah, she's Spanish. Okay, we're okay. Anyway, so Ashton Robin are shopping and Monique was... They're talking about the big fight at the at Candace's house and Monique is like saying how of all people she didn't expect Robin to be the one to come with all that nonsense about Michael etc etc etc. And Ashley is so innocent, of course.

She's like, well, Candace just came at me like a rabbit dog. And why would Robin use that time? Because, you know, I'm sure, Jizelle instigated it. You know, we know that she's a shitster, but I mean, Robin could have said, no, I'm gonna attack Ashley tomorrow, not today. Look, what's the difference? The point is, is that she did it at all, you know?

I don't think that it's a big deal that Michael said I'm gonna suck his dick. Who cares? If Michael says, I took his dick, all of that guy's so much of suck his dick. Who cares? You all are making too big out, too big a deal out of this. Yeah. And what the thing is this for all this talk about honesty and I'm an honest person, no one's really saying what I said is, I feel like I say it's literally every week, you know, but like no one is really saying what is really bothering them, which is in the case of Candace. Listen, you made me sit and listen to you talking about all the homeopathic shit you're doing and how you're not drinking to get pregnant and then you're getting drunk. So that's bull, I'm calling bullshit on that and for everyone else

it's kind of like, um, you know, like,, we don't care if Michael sucks dick, but it's not acting like he doesn't want to suck dick, just like be cool. Like people just don't like what they, if someone's like bullshitting them. And no one's really quite saying it sort of they are. Doesn't matter, I don't mind. Oh well, Monique has a good point. She's like, how are you mad at Robin? She's not the brain.

She's pinky. And then the editors put a picture of Robin with her pink hair So then Monique's like, well, I didn't appreciate the way that Candace acted at that dinner, you know Um or Robin because they were dead set on you guys having an issue and she's like, well, that's why I'm not gonna Just be nice about it because I know that everybody was talking shit about me and then it goes into the Ashley being the big victim here Yeah, you know, I agree with everybody else. It's your turn. Okay, just take it he was talking shit about me and then it goes into the Ashley being the big victim here. Yeah. I agree with everybody else. It's your turn.

Okay. Just take it. Yeah. And then she was like, well, you know, like, you know, like, you know, there's a situation and like Robin, she just put more gas on it. She didn't even have to. It was her choice to put the gas on the situation. It's like, you know what?

Like, Ashley, you have, you have like pulled up a hastruck and Uncorked it and just like poured that gas over every situation for the past three years, so you know What she's doing is putting gas on the situation because if she just said oh my god If he said that he was totally kidding you guys you think he's gonna announce to a room full of people that he's sucking Someone's dick or he's like exactly like give me a break, you know, she's putting gasoline on it by making it such a big deal. So Monique's like, well, look, we've all had explosions in this group last year was me with that damn umbrella, okay. But I've never felt that uncomfortable in someone else's home.

Yeah. And I was just like, yeah, but you had an umbrella. She had a knife. A knife is a knife and a umbrella is an home? Yeah. And she's like, yeah, but you had an umbrella. She had a knife. A knife is a knife, and a umbrella is an umbrella. Yeah. Even though the umbrella was probably more dangerous than that butter knife. And she's like, you know, she could have grabbed the fork or the spoon, but she grabbed the knife.

So she's already playing that card. Yeah, it's like, well, it was a butter knife. A knife is a knife. Well, it was a novelty plastic knife that came with a toy set. It does it matter. And knife is a knife. I know we shouldn't we shouldn't say that butter knives aren't harmful. I mean, we cover Southern charm. Look at Greg's walls. Look at his look at his permanently damaged pinky. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly. I mean, yeah.

So then we go over to a more... Two days later. It's like Inception Music. Waaaaah! Waaaaah! I love the juxtaposition of Inception Music, which is normally reserved for things like... Serious things, or like Batman, or something like that.

It's like, Waaaaah! It's like rob eating fruit. Oh Is this really my fruit or am I just dreaming right now? Pulse more is upside down Leo the caprio died man forgot I mean I know I'm doing from Tuno here I know I'm doing a flip but I didn't expect this house to be twisting around like this Hey, this is why the house is never finished. It keeps turning upside down Why am I skiing now?

Hi, I'm Nibbri Has anyone noticed that ambulance has been driving off that bridge for at least the past 25 minutes? I Can't even spell backwards of my head. I was trying to spell Robin backwards nib or I love me boy, but that's memento. Oh, you're really going through the entire like Christopher Nolan I said why is it so bright out in Somnia? Why is it so bright out in Somnia? Oh gosh here I am I just landed on the beaches here in World War 2

Okay Let I just got back from the dojo why learn how to be a crime fighting superhero while I eat this fruit So now we know why this is all hitting TMZ right now, or we're figuring out that this is the Vegas cast ever. I think that they're all getting this news while they're on camera because the producers knew to have cameras on them today that they released all this news. These producers are some shady, shady, shady, smart, smart, smart, smart, smart.

And their housewives producers. Yeah, exactly. So yeah, so Rob is just sitting there eating like some like cut up watermelon and then uh, she's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, This seems like a marriage of convenience. I mean, how much do you want to bet that Ash knows something about her husband? How are you doing? Yeah, and it the irony of watching windy Williams going on somebody's house. Yeah rich. Yes Very rich. So then Monique and Candice are talking on FaceTime and they're both getting some kind of beauty things done in separate places and Monique's like my phone has been blowing up, you know, it's like,

don't don't don't. Candace is like loving it. You know, she's got like a glorious wantson towel on her head and she's like totally loving this. Yeah, exactly. And it was, and then we see like a 24 style collage on the screen. And we see Karen getting ready to be interviewed. There's like a slate in front of her and her eyes are are just bulging, like, oh, I've been living. I just was on a motorcycle and an assault cave

and talking to Rolly Pulle, he said, I'm alive and nothing could derail my feeling right now. Oh. Hello, I'm a game. Quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick. I wish that was Karen's ringer, because it should be. So Karen gets these masks, that's what my mom's ringer because it should be no Karen gets these mess That's my mom's ringer makes us all crazy

That's what I'm gonna what that was You've never heard that iPhone ringer. No, most of noxious iPhone ringer in the of law of iPhone ringer Okay, so Karen's phone rings and she starts reading it and her hairdresser just stopped right behind her like Oh, he has that face like oh As he reads it behind her did you catch that mm-hmm yeah because well I was actually just right because I was Listening to a ranger and it cuz it had like this lilting chime to it that for some reason Maybe feel like I was in FAO shorts under that big clock going welcome to our world Welcome to our world welcome to my world

Toys for everyone. Welcome to living again. So Susan, her diary room cracking up and then Candace is with her gay Clifford in a pink fedora. And we keep getting timestamps on the TV for 22, 429 pm. Candace and Candace and Clipers. Clipers with her Katie and yes Candace and Clipers and then we go to Katie and Ashley in a party city. Yeah. And then we get to like

relive what we saw two minutes ago of Robin eating the watermelon or ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Oh! So remember when Robin did that 30 seconds ago on the show, let's show it again. Hmm. So then Katie's like, well, I'm just gonna have a country sory at my farm and she's like, are you gonna call it a ho-down? No, I'm gonna call it a country sory. You should call it a po-down because Robin's coming. Yeah, okay, we'll call it a ho-down, then.

So then, then it cuts back to Robin again. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! And then we see Karen and her rangers like, and she reads it, she goes, Oh! Hell no! and she reads it she goes oh how no allegedly Michael grabbed a cameraman spot this is not good

so then Monique and Candy are facetiming and Monique's like girl my phone has been blowing up like it's my husband that did that. And what's crazy, this supposedly happened at the Rainbow Party. I was like, well, stop sending the man mixed signals. If Chris grabbed someone's butt, they would have one last cheek. I mean, he's like, whoa, look at you. It's like, hey, someone just squeezed all the juice out of my butt.

It would be a cameraman lost his butt. Chris sat on a rainbow party. So, yeah, so it happened at the rainbow party, and then Robyn's reading it, and she's like, you get 11 years for grabbing a butt. Oh! So then we get it close up at the rainbow party of Michael kissing Ashley and then looking directly into the cameras and it pauses on his face It's like don't very sliver. Yeah Like what do you think it sounds like first suck a penis gate and now this poor Michael. He can't catch a break

Oh a penis, apparently. So, uh, Monique is just like, she tells Candace, you know, I'm just basically gonna be like supportive and sisterly to Ashley's, a tough time, yada yada yada, and Candace is like, well, that's very sisterly of you to encourage someone who dragged you within an inch of your life last year. Oh, gosh, Candace. I know, Candace is like, karma, karma, I told you so. Oh, honey. You know. I know. Canvas is like karma.

Karma. I told you so. Oh, honey. You know, you better hope karma is not real. Yeah. How about like you don't like relish in someone maybe going to jail for 11 years overgroping about I mean, not saying not condoning that, but like it's one thing to be like karma because actually, you know, lost her house. But like I don't know, I feel like losing a husband to jail for 11 years sometimes. I don't know. It's funny because then I'll watch New Jersey. I'm like, oh, shut up. Set him to jail. So I'm a hypocrite. I don't care. Well, I looked this case up because I was, you know, I needed spoilers in my life

on what actually happened. And so, yeah, he was sued and he could have gone to jail. So the camera man is saying he was assaulted and his supervisors would back him up. But then the district attorney called the supervisors and they never called him back. And so this case was dropped to lack of evidence. So nobody would stand up. Nobody witnessed it. Nobody would stand up for this camera man. So who knows, but the case is dropped. Oh, okay. That makes it more boring, right? I shouldn't say that till the end. Well, I mean, she essentially says it anyway.

So there's that. Well, kind of, but you'd expect her to say something like that. But so now it's really fishy because this stuff happened, but now it's bringing, being brought up on camera when it happened a long time ago. Yeah. So that's why Ashley is so mad. So they're checking out and they're just talking about how much she has sex with Michael

because she's like, well, I'm going to be ovulating soon. And Katie's like, well, I mean, you have to have sex then, right? She goes, yeah, guess what? We had sex after gay pride. I mean, I don't know why, but he was just so excited about gay pride. It's crazy. Like he just came home with such a boner. It was nuts. Yeah, so then Jizzil calls Ashley She's like, hi, yeah, I'm just checking in on you see how you're doing. She's like I'm fine. I'm at least as fine as I could be shopping in the party city with Katie in a strange wig

Why she's like well, you know a little thing popped up about mr. Michael Just want to make sure you're okay, and She's like, well, you know, a little thing popped up about Mr. Michael. I just want to make sure you're okay. And she's like, uh, what popped up? You know, and she's like smiling and trying to figure out like how to emotionally navigate the scene knowing that she's on camera, you know? So it's like a little weird. Yeah, she's like, do I really want to cry with this umbrella on my head? Yeah. Should I take off my Academy Awards party monical right now? Or... Should I take off my Academy Awards party monical right now or?

Yeah, so she's like well, we had a preliminary case that got thrown out so you know about this And she's like yes, and then she tells us to be completely candid when I got the notice I had a breakdown I have apprehension about this because it's not my case, but it's troubling. It is very, very troubling. Yeah. And then she starts saying that it's suspicious that the cameraman is coming out with all this shit right after Robin and Candace are spreading their rumors. So, but you know, it's, I don't know. I don't know if there's a huge conspiracy there. I think that this stuff just happens.

It just come out a lot with Michael. Yeah. We have we have footage of Michael grabbing butt in the first season. Okay. Yeah. So then uh, Monika's with her kids and Candace comes over and the kids love Candace and everything's happy. They're just such good friends. It's just such good. It's so good to be a good friend. She want to banana. Oh sure, God, it's good having a sister. God, we are just like sisters, aren't we? God, it's good to be good friends. Now let's go put together a bassinet, okay? So they go upstairs to the master bedroom and you know, basically Candace sits on a little, a little bench and, grapes, and cruditees off of a

tray like a little princess while Monique's on the floor putting together some sort of strange, you know, hammock. Hammock. Yeah. So Monique's like, well did everything calm down? I hit all my butternives. So then she won't let it go. So Candace is like, I calm down a lot. I was really angry for a few days And she's like, well, you went from zero to outer space. Okay, you were up there with Venus And I don't mean Venus Williams and she's like Well for her to knowingly take something that I shared with the group and use it against me How could she? She's like, uh, yeah, but for you to get that mad

I mean come, like your husband couldn't even calm you down. And regardless of how another person acts, I'm not gonna act that way because that's karma on me. I was like, can we cut to the umbrella footage right now, please? Yeah, great. And Kines says she's like, well, you're giving off is not, I'm a grown woman, I'm in control. And Kines says, I disagree. And Monique's like, well, what eyewitness was a temper tantrum and a bunch of women who didn't have enough respect for you and you couldn't control them in your own home. And Candace is just, you know, Candace is not wanting to hear it and just like denies everything.

And by the way, when she says that, like, you know, she took something that I've shared with the group and used it against me. I'm like, you're the one who's like, like, like going out there and being like your husband wants to suck dick. So that's like I think that's like a lot worse because that's more even though it's you know there is like a drink of truth to it it feels like but it's still at the end of the day it's still rumor compared to you saying to everyone well my mom my mom bought me this my mom bought me that my mom pays for this my mom pays for for that, and people like, you know, like you and you actually brought some factual things into the group and they're just using it against you as opposed to you bringing a slander. I don't know what I'm really trying to argue right now. No, you argued it. I get it.

I've said it a million times. I watch law and order a lot, so I know the law, and you introduced this into evidence, so now it can be argued. Sorry. He's against you. Anything you say or do will be used to get. Just remember, going on a housewives show is like the Miranda rights, okay? They should be read that before they go on. Anything you say or do, you have the right to remain, well, you don't, you have the right to remain silent, but you shouldn't.

And anything you say or do can and will be used against you. In a court of housewives. So Candice tells us, well, I've had a few kukuku moments, but I don't like feeling a judge by a woman who's had some hood behavior herself. And she gets that narrow eye thing, like she's starting to get mean, just like her mom does. Yeah, and she starts doing this thing like,

well, just because I talk about my mother doesn't mean that you guys should be able to talk about it. Like, there have been enough context clues to know that nobody should talk about my mother. And putting it like, but you talk about her all the time. Yeah, she is my mother. And she goes, yeah, but that's not fair. Because if you say your mother's acting a certain way,

I mean, so were you, you're acting the way that you say your mom is acting. And she's like, you know what? It is too fresh, it is too fresh. She's like, I just had this argument with Chris, okay? I's like, you know what? It is too fresh. It is too fresh. I just had this argument with Chris, okay? I'm like, yeah. So do you see what's going on? Do you get it? When everyone else is the problem, ellipses. So money is like, I just don't, you should probably just shouldn't bring it up. And she's like, well, unless I bring it up, don't bring it up. She goes, no, you shouldn't bring it up. She goes, but that's what I'm saying.

And she goes, but we didn't have that warning before. So, yeah. So Monique is like coming for it. She's not backing down at all. And now Candace hates her, her guts. Yeah, exactly. And Monique is probably thinking, this stupid woman, I mean, she has been pridling off about this for so long.

I've actually built a bass net in the time that she's been talking about this situation. She could have put that energy into helping me with this goddamn baby hammock. Yeah, exactly. You know, I'm sure that once it was done, that Candace probably crawled right into it. Thank you for making this for me. Mother. Mother. You're paying for this, right? Thanks. So Monique says just what everyone else is saying. She's like, she needs to be careful because karma, okay? And we all know who's the clear sign of that happening.

So now we go over to the farm. Yeah, it's time for the hoe down. Ron Katie's farm, which is 18 acres. And she is, as a Katie, who's there also with her right now she's someone with her I don't I didn't write down Robin Robin right so Katie's like like showing Robin everything and she's like do you want to go to the vortex that's where Andrew and I got engaged by the way I would never want to get engaged anywhere called the vortex yeah never that's not good.

I'm Robyn's like, this is like stuff I see in movies. The house is turning upside down. Oh! Is there someone very important here that we have to get information from? Are we inside three dreams? So they're getting set up and then Karen and Monique are driving together

and Karen's like, this is the words this is this is the sticks and the words into the words we go we go I know those lyrics I was in Broadway for a day and Jacelle and Asher in their own car and Asher is just texting with a little smile on her face while refusing to speak to Jacelle yeah which is a like because she knows what Jaceelle's gonna do, you know. Yeah. So Jiselle's like, wow, I'm really looking forward to this day on the farm.

Yeah. And Ash is like, mm-hmm. Well, you know, Robin actually kind of made Jiselle see some things that Jiselle actually did. So Jiselle owes you an apology. Yeah. And then she goes, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. She's like a very good like apology. And so Ash is like, well, you know, what you now starts the pot, but no, Robin has the choice to decide if she wants

to take the spoon that I usually have, but I don't have it this time. So she chose to take it. I'm like, you know, this is not a winning argument for you, Ashley. So she chose to take it. I'm like, you know, this is not a winning argument for you Ashley So then Katie Basically Katie and Robin are gossiping and Robin's like is that she coming? She is yeah, I think she's coming with Michael's like I will bet 900 penis is sucked that Michael is not coming Katie is like more importantly touch the walls It's nice, touch the walls. Yeah. It's nice, right? Touch the walls.

Is this nice? Is this real? Is this a real wall? I can't tell. Wow. Is there a bat cave under here? Uh, boy. So Karen's like, well, I'm not going

to try to feature Michael's issues today. It's Paul Karaden Gazette.'s Paul and Garan and Garan. We don't do this on farms. Today on Garan and Garan and Garan issue number three, we will not be featuring Michael as our headliner and instead we're gonna be bringing the feature living what you can do at a motorcycle and salt caves where you can think about things.

Living again. So Monique is like, well God, I remember that cameraman. I was wondering what happened to him. I mean, how bad is it that a man gropes your butt and then you have to tell your supervisor? It was a very nice man. A very, very nice man. I remember the way he used to play the piano and used to serve drinks all around him.

Oh, wait, I'm confusing him for that gentleman on. It's a living Me and Shirley Ralph and Angelian It's a reboot same cast they just add Karen Huber to it. It's a living again So Karen is like consent is Everything on set is The accent is everything. The accent is everything. Hello, I'm Michael. Can I grab your butt and look at you longingly?

Thank you. How do you keep consent for grabbing a butt? Yeah. Stupid Michael. So then we go back to the farm. And oh no, we go back to the other car. And just like clearly, this is your discretion. And if you choose not to talk about it it's fine

you know Robin will and she's just chewing your gum like yeah and she's and as she's basically saying that she and Michael are stronger than ever so you know that's cool um and she says like well that's nice because I wanted to punch my husband in the face when all his stuff came out in the papers and as she goes well maybe he deserved it. And she's just like, yeah, well, there's that. And, but, you know, going through it publicly. And she's like, mm-hmm, for sure. Texty, texty, texty. Yeah, exactly. So meanwhile, over at the ranch, Candace arrives, and we meet Katie's neighbor, Annabelle. This poor, homely woman has no idea what she's walked into. She thinks it's just gonna be some pleasant thing

She can bring some cupcakes to and maybe a bandana for all the ladies, you know for a ho-down spirits, but She's in over her head. Yeah, so then Ashley's truck starts slowly creeping in while they talk about it Robin's like, well, can you now see, I mean, as she was there and she said like, uh, or Katie was there and she said Ashley played it really cool and she just brushed it off. And it's been a big week on Bravo for Ashley's arriving, uh, menacingly in SUVs in wooden areas. Yes. Ashley just drives extra slowly. If your name is Ashley and there's some shit going on, you will probably arrive very slowly in an SUV in a rural area.

Chelsea. I'm sorry, I interrupted you just to make that observation. I just felt like very, very salient and I just needed to get it out there. Now she's just coming in and Robyn's like, whoa, it's a drunk and powdered with Michael. And everybody's getting themselves all worked up over this. You know, and Monique's like, well, it's a drunk and powdered with Michael and everybody's getting themselves all worked up over this Yeah, I'm only it's like well the fact that it's a pattern makes that case tougher. That's gonna be a tough case

Yeah, so Ashley comes in and everyone's huggy huggy and Robin's like really? I mean this is hard for telling you didn't happen, okay? I mean I pray that well, I mean I pray that it works out, but I pray that it's a lesson learned Oh god I mean, I pray that it works out, but I pray that it's a lesson learned. Wow! Oh, God! How she's upside down. She's upside down and still trying to make Poe down a thing. Yeah, so they come in and Robin's mad that Ashley's just going to pretend that nothing happened, which is nothing like Robin pretending that everything's great in hot tubs with Juan. That's why they all get mad at each other because everyone is a reflection

of everyone else's problems. Yeah, everyone's just faking it. Yeah. So we meet well, we don't meet. We met her in the first season, but Katie's mom is there. Katie's boyfriend, Jacob, who have we met Jacob before? I don't think we have. I don't think so, because at first I was like, why is she dating Tamer Barney's son? I will not have this crossing. No, no. But the mom goes up to Giselle and she's like, congratulations on your makeup line. I tried it. Didn't work for me. I guess I guess you should rename it almost every year beauty. Well, it's a burn because she's like, it didn't work for me. It's too light. And she's like, oh, well, thanks. So then, uh, yeah,

we meet the boyfriend. And everybody's pretending everything's okay. So Robin pulls Ashley over. And she's like, first of all, I'm sorry, which you're going through your second of all A half gay pride for you. Third of all, I have no intentions of hurting you. Fourth of all, I'm sorry, that's how you felt. Fifth of all, she's all got burned. Can we just concentrate on that? Six of all, did you know all got burned can we just concentrate on that? Sixth of all did you know that Paris is actually like has no sky. It's just a reflection of Paris Seventh of all did you know that Karen thinks Afghanistan is a blanket? Seventh of all do the Karen won't even go to Armenia because she thinks it's a place full of mean people?

So she's like, well now I understand more why you're so touchy about it because of what was happening behind the scenes. Yeah, so they actually bury the hatchet pretty successfully. And then we have like, it's like, Ho-down time, so we have like a montage. This is a nice call back to our original show, Ronnie. How's like ho-down time. So we have like a montage. This is a nice call back to our original show, Ronnie, House of Ho-down. And So they're all like doing all this stuff and at one point Katie starts talking about the vortex again and the cameras cut to the vortex and it just says Katie's happy place. It was just like some trees. Her toes. She's like to a simpler time and place a time of bucolic beauty a Friendship of love that says peace love sisterhood love peace Have you felt the walls?

For tech I'm like I mean, I know vortexes are now, but I don't really think it's like a state of mind I mean, I know vortexes are now, but I don't really think it's like a state of mind. And just like listen, this ho-downs has some hoes actually going down after they play the games, which is a stolen line because Monique's like, some hoes are actually going to go down. So we're going to steal it just a cell. Yeah. So now they're all eating, which is my favorite part of any show because, you know, we're

both on diets. And I was like like oh my god Yeah, I know me too. I was looking at everything. I've been going nuts I was hanging out with my friend Jenny yesterday I like we're playing board games and she brought like all this Pocky and I was like oh My god Pocky. I want the Pocky. I want the Pocky. So um anyway Candice of course. She's oh Candice I feel like is always sitting on like a chair That's a little talk like when everyone's sitting in chair. She's on a stool It may not be maybe only be this scene, but I feel like emotionally

Yeah, she's very on the nose with her power plays, you know It's like like I'm higher than everybody. Yeah, so she's like I want to take a moment to apologize to the table and everyone Who was present at dinner for my ridiculous outburst at that dinner It was inappropriate and I don't want to make up other people feel uncomfortable in the home This totally mine and I'm being paid more by anybody else got my ass and you guys can't talk about that so Just I was like um, I think the apology needs to go to that side of the table like pointing to Ashley and Candace is like That's a conversation that needs to happen separately, but as it's told by you,

that Ashley doesn't want to speak to me ever again, so I guess maybe we'll never have the conversation ever like I've ever ever worked. Could somebody pass me that roll of tissues? I am getting ready to blot. And just like, well, yes, I did say that. And Karen says, Chazel being messy is a train that always arrives on time.

Mmm. And as we know, I no longer take the train. I paraglide because I'm living. Ah. Maybe I'll roll up late. At the point, but I will not train now. I'm taking the sealer express. Just kidding, Juzel.

I'm taking a cloud that throws spiky things. No, you're now into Mario Brothers. So Candace is like, well, we don't have to talk about this today because I understand the timing of your husband grabbing some butts and probably going to jail for a decade, but we should have a conversation. Yeah, and now she's like, well, I just wanted to address the Michael News because it's the elephant in the room. I'm like, there is no room. You got her outside and she And she's trying to talk about this the case very seriously, but the thing is that there's like country music playing in the background Like at the hoedown that the bravo producers did not turn off

So she's like she's like, well, you know, it's a very tough thing and it's something that I obviously can't talk about in the background It's like, and in here, around our contrary roads It's like my truck My truck and a beer and a girl in the front seat and beer in a truck And I love a rainy night, I love a rainy night Once it's full and she's like, it's back And there you bring Tom Jones into this. No, that's Eddie Rabbit.

That's Eddie Rabbit. Most of my country music foundation comes from playing Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, where there was a country station in the car. And I grew to love all those songs. So Robbins, like, you can't say anything. And Ashley's like, I encourage you to wait for the truth. And she's like, this is the girl that's guilty of being messy and nasty in the past. And then we get a messy Ashley clip, which is gold.

Her saying that Juan is cheating, then Monique had four Martinez before she started driving, then Karen's Mr. Blue Eyes. Karen, you're the one who said, raise cream cream, this is all that dried up in my marriage, and my marriage is in a statistician. She's not the hero we deserve, but she's the one we need. Wah! She's like, I'm not saying she deserved it,

but if you have some dirt, you shouldn't throw dirt in other people's faces. Why so serious? So, Karen's like, well, I just want to say that I hope this turns out okay for you and Michael And just like please Karen now you were high-fiving and Robin at Candace's house So now they're all trying to start fights with each other because it because Jacella is still trying to get Ashi Mad at Karen for like this alleged duplicity or whatever that Karen display, which I don't think was that bad and Ashes like you know, I can't remember that you have a lot of skeletons in your closet. Oh, no

I have a fact machine in three tube TVs, but no skeletons as far as I can tell You rival the catacombs only in high school Well, I made just because I happen to go spunking on the weekends occasion, it doesn't mean I have catacombs. I mean, yes, so now they start blaming each other and Karen's like, well, I own that, but you should be, you should have slapped yourself because you told her to come back, his just said, but so when you told you to come back in the home, I'm gonna be like, listen, if a person asks someone else to leave their home, she should just go and ask you like, well, you don't drop a bomb on me and expect me to go.

And then they all just start going at each other. Yeah, and I just love Karen's attempt to like turn it around and just I was like, oh, well, Jacelle was the one who started eating a little bit before all of us and that was rather rude. Maybe she mad at her for bad manners. And Monique goes, listen, everyone's wrong. Campus should have never invited her in the first place. Actually shouldn't have come. Just else shouldn't have invited her back

when she got kicked out. Robin brought up the whole penis thing in the first place. Katie, yeah, I don't even know why Katie's here. I just wanna eat, can we just eat? And Katie goes, okay, why don't we all just apologize for everything? Candice, you apologize for throwing knives around. I can't.

Just something Candice is like, do not make people apologize for throwing knives around. I can't. This is something Candace is like, do not make people apologize for things. And she's like, well, look, I just wanted us to come over here and have advice. Time is just like, well, listen, we are on your land, which I get. And I want to be friends, but be honest, okay? We need respect amongst this group.

I've watched you comment people with, dangers. And now she's like, well you said I wasn't trying to have a baby, don't try and change this! And yeah, and this is like moments after Candice says that she hates what like people who pretend to be on and she goes, I have no vendetta against you Ashley. I want you to have a baby if that's what you want, but I'm not going to ignore science, it looks like BS. what you want but I'm not going to ignore science it looks like BS. I witness what I witness and just I was like well when you say your marriage situation

is phony that's a judgment and Candace is like but that's my opinion. Yeah and Candace is I think Candace is like you know what everyone at this table has had judgment and then speaking of judgment we then cut to Katie's godmother and that an Annabelle the neighbor like just standing by a fence far away being like oh my god what is happening here good lord should I turn down the music now and can this is yelling at everyone now she's like you've all had opinions and you're not gonna murder me. Yeah, and so Monique is now, she's like, you know, I know, I just cannot but notice that like everything you keep going after Ashley about is about pregnancy and fertility.

She's sort of getting at the fact that like it's issues that insecurities that Candace is clearly having and Candace is like, I'm not going after her, I'm stating my opinion. In a way that, I'm not going after her, I'm stating my opinion. In a way that sounds like I'm going after her. Yeah, you do it over and over and she's like, everyone I have talked to has brought it up and we have both said our opinions and I've done, done talking you hypocrites. You don't even like Ashley, you didn't want her in your house. And then this is where she gets really Dorothy and she starts getting really mean with everybody.

Yeah, she's like, I'm doing what everyone else in this group does, which actually I believe her on that, because everyone is like talks about shit behind, you know, everyone's talking about shit. But the thing is that Candace does it like, ineligently and is messy, really messy about it, so she gets called out about it, so she's yelling at everyone. And then Katie's like, well, here's the fake bitches in ass grabbing. And they're like, ah, do we laugh at that?

It's written from a vashin' space. So then, Karen's like, well then, all righty then. This wasn't very polite. Mm-mm. I'm gonna head to the vortex. I'm assuming that's a salt cape of some sort. No. Hey, Miss Ash.

You doing all right, you doing all right, Miss Ashly? I'm always alright but thank you for asking. Is there attitude there Ashley? And Ashley's like, well I heard you were talking too. When I was there like you know like to my like you know heard you were talking to when I was there, like, you know, like to my, like, you know, at Candace's house, when I was there with you, you were like nice to my face, and then as soon as I was at the door, you were going and giving Rob and like high fives, and then Karen's like, oh well that's what you do to everybody, and then she just like turns to like an invisible jury, because I own it, I own it, I'm like, were

you talking to Karen? She goes, I own it. I had a wonderful moment and I deserved it. Let's let the record show that I had a exhibit a, I had a fabulous time. I was living. Yes. It's like, are you talking to a tree stump, Karen?

So then Ashley starts trying to turn it to physical violence. She's like, why are your hands in my face? Why are your hands in my face? Why are your hands in my face? Oh, shut up, Ashley! Get some coof about yourself. Get some coof about yourself! Yeah, and then she's like, you know, all of a sudden you can't talk. Everybody's supposed to bow down. I'm not supposed to talk about it. Come as a bitch, honey. I'm just like, oh really? Because I have rest has things to say about you.

I was like, oh, that's so last season. Cl So that's the last season Clanky-dank clanky-dank the bar of soap you want to might you might want to help your husband Mmm. I Love when Karen quote it's Kim D. That's great. So Karen's like just by the way By the way, I did have a moment of enjoyment. I am human A moment of enjoyment. I am human. A moment of enjoyment. I was living, living, living. So Ashley's like, get your back straight. And money's like, we went from hoe down to this hoe is going down, which I mean, you know, can't get enough of that.

And you know, the other thing is that, you know, when Karen said, Clank, he's like, the Bob soap, you might want to help your husband. I was like, damn, Karen. But then we see a flashback to Ashley Lassie's and with the IRS stuff, Ashley said the same thing to about Rich. She's like, you better watch out with that soap in prison, basically, about Rich. So it was actually a call back. And they're both married to much older men. And those men probably do ask for help with the soap. Oh my, I'll drop the soap again.

Could you come in here, my lower back's killing me. Yeah, they probably do. So now Karen and Candace are talking over in the corner. And Candace is like, well, I feel like people who are supposed to be my friends are finding an opening to support other people, which is her way of talking about Monique and Monique being nice to Ashley. Oh yes and Karen's like wow the bottom line is I don't which anyone it will but if I wanted to it would be within my ride. How have you ever been to Qatar?

I'm afraid to go to play this where they encourage cutting. So then Monique walks up and she's like I don't think that you're hearing what we're trying to say okay for you to call me a hypocrite I'm really irritated with that okay, I'm just being real with you I don't like that you're sticking up for someone. I can't receive being chastised or told by someone He and she's like you're literally doing the same thing she did last year and you can't see it Monique gets all cry and then camera's like oh this is, very sad to be standing between the two of y'all. It's very, very sad.

I was having an enjoyable moment. Let the record show. Hello, ladies and gentlemen of the jury. Annabelle and Godmother. Let the record show in the quarter of the vortex. I was having an enjoyable moment. And I own it. I'm human, case closed.

I'm only human. A flesh and blood I made. Just a little bit of battle. So Monique starts crying and Candace is like, oh go away. She starts to lay for me. So the Monique starts yelling instead. And she's like, I've done nothing but ride for you.

And she's like, oh just walk away from me. She goes, I will drag you pregnant and all. I'm like, oh really? You're gonna drag me? So then she's like, drag me, drag me, Monique. Yeah, and Monique goes, you know what? That's why you're over there by yourself because you still don't get it. And Candace goes,

I'm over here by myself because you walked away. I'm like, yeah, that's the point. You sent her away. You pushed her away. Don't you under that, okay? And Karen's trying to hold Monique back. And Monique's like, Karen, get off of me. I'm gonna throw this bottle at her hand. It's gonna be so fun.

I'm gonna all life it. Well, I could use an enjoyable moment. I had just finished one and I'm ready for an in-one. They call this cornhole, and then, hmm. And then of course, yeah, at this point, the tissue, Candice now has a tissue in perfect square shape. Ready to, ready to blot. She's like, oh yeah, you're gonna throw something in my head.

I am gonna blot my tears. And so, Jacelle and Karen are talking now and she's like, she's just immature. And Karen's like, well, while I leave her alone, when she's down, I get it. She's been ganged up on like me, like me. And I own that, I own that, everyone. Squares over there, do you see? I own it she's been ganked up on like me like me And I own that I own that everyone squirrels over there. Do you see I own it? So so then Monique goes back up to Candace because you know what she's like, you know I'm I'm really sorry. I should not have to end you that's not right. I just you know I've just been a really good friend to you and it breaks my heart and can just like you know

Monique get away from me go away And in the background you see production is like oh shit. We're still shooting. They're all running like the cameraman The producers the sound guys are like running to get out of the shot because they're like fuck. They're still fine We thought we're wrapped. I know it never ends. Yeah, and Canvas is crying alone in the corner So Karen comes over and hugs there and she goes Slow it down girl slow it down Cool it now cool it now So can't this it's sunset and can this is all alone with the sun Shining down on her going down and she's like I'm fighting with my mom

I'm fighting with my husband and now I'm fighting down on her, going down and she's like, I'm fighting with my mom. I'm fighting with my husband, and now I'm fighting with my friends. I don't want this kind of energy around me. I'm better than this, so I have to figure out how to turn this all around with everybody. Hey, how about stopping a bitch? Okay, about that. I'm switching to spoons. We will only be serving our dinners with sports from now on. And Karen's like, well, this hoedown didn't work out this well. Robbins like on the ground. She's like, you're telling me. I think we're upside down right now. Wow.

And that was that. That brings us to the end of the these event of productions of Rios Wars a Potomoc. Oh everybody what a fun day go get your t-shirts go get your tickets go get your videos come on do it we sure love you we'll talk to you next time. Bye everyone. Bye. a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.