Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Grope Springs Eternal

Episode Date: September 24, 2019

"The Real Housewives of Potomac" season 4 reunion rolls into its second episode with more petty infighting and groping allegations. In other words, it's hilarious. And as an added bonus, we get more footage of Michael's back sweat as he watches from a balcony. Fun! Get tix to our live shows: http://watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Just sayin' okay! Kristie Wawardy-Dawardy! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Just saying okay.

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Always ready for Nicole Passa Ready. One day your Rachel's in. And the next day, you're out. Yes, we can, with Howley, Carolyn, and Ann. Nancy C. C. C. C. C. Nancy, Ceasin, Desisto. We grant the grant master. Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy. Shannon, out of a cannon, Anthony.

Incredible, edible Matthew sisters. And... Mina, Kuchikuchi, Kuchikuchi. Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that happens Happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, happens, It's what this song is about to happen. It's a brilliant track. It's a brilliant track. It's what happens when it's so much that it happens. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch.

I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which is available on YouTube. Go check it out and joining me, the man, the man, the wonder, the joy. He is back. Ronnie Carrum from the Rose Pricks Bachelors podcast. What's up, Ronnie? Well, how'd he in? Howdy, howdy, howdy. How's it going?

Sup, brah. Sup. Ronnie, it's nice to have you back on the show, although we have to give major thanks to Ray Sonny for filling in for you last week. So fun. We were out of control, Ronnie. I love her. We were out of my got on. Sure. How could you not be with her? She's fucking hilarious that she is hilarious. And we talked for two hours. So if you missed our Dallas recap, there's a lot to that you missed two hours worth. Anyway, Ronnie and I are really excited

because this is the week. It's all starting up again. Crappens is going back out on tour and it's all starting this Thursday in Charlotte at the Queen. Oh God. Why am I see of course I start doing this. Queen City Comedy Experience. Yeah. Queen City Comedy Experience. Well, Charlotte, it's a Thursday night where we have a huge show at this comedy festival. We're really excited. We want to make a splash. We sold a bunch of tickets.

So thank you so much, everyone who's bought tickets. And the theater just released a whole bunch of tickets in the balcony. So you can still get them at seven o'clock. This Thursday, go to watchacrapans.com to get those tickets. And then the very next night, we were going back to Nashville, Tennessee. I should mention in Charlotte,

we're talking Real Housewives of Orange County. And this week's episode looks absolutely amazing and hilarious. And then we're going to Nashville, Tennessee, to talk Real Housewives of Dallas, which also looks amazing. This is going to be an episode where Cameron is gonna throw a napkin in Brandy's face

and say, you're trash. So obviously we will be recreating that in Nashville. It's gonna be amazing. It's watchacrapans.com. Here are the other cities we're going to after that. Atlanta, Georgia, only a few weeks away. Two shows there are Carbora, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Tampa, Florida,

Florida, Indianapolis, two shows in Chicago, two shows in New York, St. Louis, two shows in Philadelphia, Denver, Colorado, Lash of the Year in Seattle, and then we start up again in January with the Golden Crappies. On January 17th, those tickets have been flying off the shelves, the tickets were on shelves. Detroit, Michigan, Columbus,

and Houston, Texas. It is going to be an amazing run of shows we got going on. You got to go to watch crapp run of shows we got going on. You got to go to watchcraftens.com to get them all. Some shows are sold out, some are at low ticket alerts. Just don't wait and get them. And we will all have a group hug afterwards.

Yeah, and get our bonus episodes over on L. Patreon, as usual. You can find us on Camio if you want little birthday messages, et cetera. I mean, everywhere, everywhere. and thanks to everybody for your support and being with us. Yeah it's awesome. So today is a day. Well, it's a guy with a sweaty back walking up the stairs. Yeah, how's what is up Potomac? Part two. So I have to say this episode of Potomac was airing Against the Emmy Awards, which I had the displeasure of watching and I watched the Emmy Awards

I know you didn't because I know you don't like to watch award shows, right? but um, yeah These were the Emmy Awards were just uniquely terrible. They were so unfunny and boring. They were just it was cheesy. I felt like there was a candle after. I was like, what is this shit? And you know what? I was thinking to myself, this, the Emmy Awards, they have, they, they pause for one moment to give like a brief, you know, nod towards reality TV. Okay, they, you know, they, we have a brief moment where RuPaul gets to win best reality competition. And then it's back to all the other stuff.

And there's just so much inherent snobbery from the Emmys about reality TV. And the truth is this, while this wretched ceremony is just droning on for three hours, just miserable, real house has a Potomac, zering against it, and being 45 times more entertaining than three hours worth of the biggest celebrities on this planet almost, you know. Oh God, yeah. There's nothing that will hate you, there's nothing that will make you hate

an actor more than listening to an actor talk, like in real life. I do not, I cannot stand it. Cause every time I love an actor, I see them on some late night show or something and they're like, well, let's talk about my process and that, you know, all that shit. And I'm like, I hate you. Like listen, Patricia Arquette. I loved medium, but in real life, I don't need you to ever speak about anything.

Okay. Just be quiet. I like to do. At all times. I'm, I'm pro Patricia Arquette and she had a good speech. I'm not anti-act or necessarily. And I love a word. I mean, what speech are you talking about? Well, she won an Emmy last night. Oh, yeah, I didn't see that. So I'm not talking about this. I just mean Patricia Arquette in general. What she won an Emmy for?

Oh, that thing where she has a good mommy dead and dearest. The show. Yeah, the show is called the, I wanna say like, I forget what it's called, but it's basically Yolanda Foster the movie and where she has munch house and spy So I believe for starring Patricia Akkets. Okay. I Forget what it was called, but she won that I mean I'm not opposed to war shows I love award shows. I'm not necessarily to War Chos, I love War Chos, I'm not necessarily opposed to actors unless they become really annoying, which unfortunately is actually most actors.

But the point is this, like, if y' almost like they had to acknowledge reality TV, but they didn't even want to. They just barely do it. They have one category. They don't give any montages. Kim Kardashian and Kendall Jenner come out to present. And they're, I know. But then they're talking, and the audience is full on laughing at them, which is kind of crazy. The audience is laughing at them. They're saying, you know, they're going on like, reality TV, landscape scene, and the audience is laughing at them, you know. And I understand, the Kardashian gender,

like I understand there are a lot of jokes, but like, it was such snobbery. And I'm like, you know what? All of you guys are laughing at them, but as far as I can tell, this has been three hours of bullshit what I've been watching,, just like stupid entertainment. And the point is this, Real Housewives Potomac, six women sitting on couches from a left over real house, left over Southern Charmed New Orleans set that never even got used,

is ten times more entertaining than the brightest minds in Hollywood. And speaking of, while we're here, if you guys want to see a real award show that really celebrates what we left and find important, come to the crappies. Yeah, it's July 17. The tickets are now selling. January 17. So I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I liked it though. It was like, whoa, Ramona, sing here to tell you about the crappy awards coming to coming to television soon And by television I mean a podcast, okay? What's the difference? Yeah, at least you didn't have to read about it on page six

Yeah, our award show will be as much better as much better than the Emmys I actually I actually firmly believe that I firmly believe that okay, so let's get on to real housewives of Potomac. We're starting with very scary music and We hear they're doing their echo thing whoever's in their audio department has found the echo function in garage band and it is hilarious They're putting on it on like chorus settings, you know Like grand hall reverb. Yeah, yes Grand Hall reverb and you just hear. Take care of your husband, husband, husband, husband. And then we see like this shot. It's almost, I almost feel like it's out of a horror movie. We just see this dark grimy staircase. And at the bottom of it, this very cute gentleman's

it suddenly appears. He's holding it looks like a camera, but it looks like an iPad also. I don't know, it's some sort of thing. Clearly a PA. And he just like it looks like a camera, but it looks like an iPad also I don't know it's some sort of thing Clearly a PA and he just like looks up the staircase like do I dad go up do I dad go up and then Michael appears behind him And he's like I must go and I'm like no run run because that's the worst place to be is to be walking up a staircase with Michael right behind you Yeah, no kidding like I couldn't even feel bad for you because at this point you should know better than to walk up a staircase in front of Michael Yeah, at that point that's when you like push yourself against the wall and say after you, you know like you do not you do not lead a staircase march with Michael at that point You asked for a staff elevator Okay, period

Yeah, exactly so Michael comes up and he's chewing his tongue or his he's chewing something and his back is all sweaty and we're getting like the Blair Witch shot of Michael going up the stairs, you know, it's really scary. And then he's just kind of watching Wakandas is yelling, you're a whole other level beneath my shoe. And Michael comes up and he's like, oh, hey, I guess we should stop because Michael's here on the balcony. I mean, listen, if we're going to talk shit about someone being a sexual abuser, I'd really rather do it on national television than embarrass them backstage.

Yeah, exactly, exactly. So then they all sort of quiet down. This big moment that we thought was going to happen where Michael was going to yell some sort of defense from his balcony perch. Never really happens. And said he just keeps his arms crossed. And it's like, I'm an Australian. And I'm higher up than everyone else. Because I'm in the building.

I'd like to mention that I'm an international business man and am currently working on deals. All right, carry on. Not deals to work on. Beals, what was they saying? Australia. Too many enter, one man leave. So, so then so now all the all the men start arriving and it's like there's one getting out of an SUV, et cetera, and you know,

here's Chris walking around backstage with a small cup of coffee in his hands. Yeah, Chris just walking down the hall oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Yeah, Andy. Andy and Jizo were both falling asleep in the second part of the reunion. Andy's eyes were half closed and he's like, all right, enough. I've had enough of this, okay. Oh, yeah. So now it's time to go on to the Monique segment. So Monique and Candace were besties in the making, but sadly they're changing a different opinion on Ashley, drag them apart.

Yes. And then we get a montage of all the clip package of all the crazy shit that happened They're changing a different opinion on Ashley drag them apart. Yes, and then we get a montage of all the clip package of all the crazy shit that happened this season with them. Like, she looks like Amastod. The Amastod rumor is really funny once they cut it all together like that. You know, yeah, just how it goes from the game of telephone, you know, how it turns into, she said you're a slave.

It's like, wait a minute. What? Yeah, yeah, it is a very, very crazy game of telephone, you know how it turns into she said you're a slave. It's like, wait a minute. What? Yeah, it is a very, very crazy game of telephone. I just think that like as a general rule, if you're on reality TV, don't bring up Amistad, because it's never going to work out in your favor. Yeah. Yeah, really anywhere. Just don't bring up on Amistad into a stupid fight.

Yeah, let's not, yeah, let's not do that at all. Okay. I'm like, even nervous saying it right now. I'm already, I'm ready to hear like, oh, Ben Mandel do that at all. Okay. I'm like even nervous saying it right now. I'm already gonna I'm ready to hear like oh Ben Mandelger said that Amistad should have happened. I'm like no, no, I never said that So this package ends by can't is saying I don't like to be judged by someone who's exhibited Quite hood behavior like putting quite in front of things doesn't make you fancy fucking canvas.

I know. She's like kind of person. She just puts quite in front of it. And now she's a very fancy lady. So Andy's like, so can this have you exhibited hood behavior? She gets more like uncouth behavior. See, because I'm not hood. I'm not hood.

Although Chris and I are trying to buy a new hood for our stove. So, mother, could we have that hood money, please? Thank you. Yeah, I would call my behavior gas range in a $2 million home behavior. Whereas this is just hood behavior. I'm not from the hood. So I wouldn't use that term. And Monique says, well, I am from the hood and I'm proud of it. And she's like well good I'm from a country club community She's I was born and raised in a country club community. I'm like is that supposed to actually make us empathize with you Born and raised in a country club community. You were born in a country club. Me at community where you're like just like popped out on you know Par par eight or whatever whole number eight or something Just use golf turns so you get this properly, Candace, about my feelings for you.

You're basically a mole again. You fucking, you're a do over if I ever saw one big old Maligan. I like that. Monique is like, but you act like you're from the hood, butternives and all. And you know, oh God. So she goes, I'm from a country club community. And someone goes, you can tell. Like, it's all this country club shaming.

You know what a country club's ever doing to you guys? I know, I just feel like I would, if you were from a country club community, I don't think you would ever actually say you're from a country club community because I think that like, people who are in their 20s who came from a country club community, the thing that they like to do the most

is act like they are like Tough and street and things like that. So like that is the exact opposite of being a country club community person That's that's absolutely true Like the real kids who grew up near the country club were like, I'm not a country club kid Also, I've never heard anybody saying country club community. So that's pretty funny. Yeah Yeah Country club Community. I mean, the more I say it, the more I'm starting to laugh,

because it's such a ridiculous thing to declare on national television. I'm sorry, I was born and raised in a country club community. So Andy brings up these nasty exchanges on social. Our good friend, Sashal Medea, has told us about some of the difficult, difficult facts you've had, Monique and Candace. Monique even blocked Candace on Shalma Dia. So Monique's like, um, well, people were asking me if I'd ever gotten

apology about the Amistad thing spinning out of control. And I said, no, but that would be nice. And then I get this screenshot that says, I'm the best victim. Ah, well, I blocked her. Yeah. So then, so then, so then we see the shot. It's basically, we see a screenshot of Candace's IG. And it's, again, it's like she took a screenshot and then a giant, giant, like that impact font,

like that crazy font that you can do on stories. So you're a great actor, best victim. And to be fair, if anyone knows about great actors It's Candace because she was raised in a country club community So she had a lot of access to Howard's end and remains the day so she knows her acting, okay? Yeah, no kidding. She totally worth that in country club community font Yeah, yeah, that's the sort of font that you get at a country club community So Robin's like yeah, but Mon, why wouldn't you just reach out and

talk about it? Why did you have to like, talk about it? Monique's like, because she's vied. I was saying, I almost started ingest and she was lying and trying to make me look bad. And Candice is like, I did not lie about it. So they just start screaming at each other about this stupid, stupid fight fight and yeah, you know I was totally into it. Yeah, Monika is like well, yeah No, you did and you took it to the way you took by the way You took it back to the one person who you knew I had an issue with it Candace is like okay fine As a country club community member born and raised I can say it was wrong to take it back to you know

Your sworn enemy and just how it's like sworn. At which point, Candace then is like, oh fuck, what do I do? Pull out the old tissue, the old square, square padded tissue, and she starts dabbing her eye and she goes, we know how much of a full of a mess just L can be. I'm like, why are you even attempting to fake cry while you're making fun of just L, who's had your back this season? She just like instinctively had this tissue going and she wasn't even crying. She wasn't even crying. Wasn't even going through the and had no reason to cry. She just like felt like putting a square in her eye at that moment. Yeah. Yeah. There was like not it. She wasn't even going through the motions of pretending to cry. She was just like, I'm just gonna pat my eye right now. Yeah. And she's like,

yeah, well, we all know what a full of ameshi can be. And just as a full of ameshi, a full of ameshi, and he just shrugs her. Like, I'm exhausted. I don't know if I've mentioned this, but I have a baby now. Can we wrap this up like seriously? This is, we're gonna go on about Amestad. So Candace is like, oh, you made it that I said that she's a slave. And just as like, no, what? No, what? I asked the question.

Nah. I said, are we, was she referring to her like she was a slave? And you said, yes, take responsibility. Take responsibility. It is pretty shocking to see the way Candace is trying to spin her away out of this. When it's very blatantly obvious, especially in montage form, how she made it seem like it was much worse than it was. Yes. Now, of course, Giselle did take that and immediately repeat it. Of course. You're a fucking, because she's Giselle, but still. So then the next question is,

why is Monique even so forgiving of Ashley? Like, why is she such a buddy, so buddy, buddy with Ashley? I mean, it's a year after she called her a drug It's the very next season and Monique's like, well, I'm sorry for forgiving people Okay, well, you know to be fair, you know, it's I you know I know that like Ashley spent all of last year making fun of not making fun of but starting rumors about Monique being a drunk And I know that probably really hurt Monique But Monique probably doesn't remember any of it because she's probably drunk so you know Yeah, she's like well, I've forgiven, I move forward as if those things

are in the rearview mirror, just like the first tree I had on my way to hitting the second tree. I have a vague recollection of Ashley starting rumors about me, but then after I hit the first tree and almost hit the second tree, I seem to have forgotten a lot of things. I'll tell you this, I learned this when I saw the light

and I started going towards the light, but there was a little tree. And the little tree said, I forgive you. Come back to earth. And I'd like to thank that little tree for forgiving me. On its way towards the light. Listen, I know she made up stories about me being a drunk, but what we did was she was trying to get pregnant

so she was slamming down the beers and I was just, you know, purporting down those martinis trying to forget about the driving incident and guess what, like everything's fine now. This is the Grand Dom of commercial breaks. Time to take one. Security. Security. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

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in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. And then can this is quick to point out that Ashley should shut up because she's like, that really hurt me. You went so low, that was icy if you, that was beyond icy. That was freezing cold, icy ice ice.

You know, she just kept saying ice cold and stuff. And so Candice is like, shut up, Ashley. You were talking, you were telling everybody that Monique was driving drunk right after she had a miscarriage. So what are we going to pull the miscarriage card for everybody? It's like jeez. Kind of caught her though. And then, and then we get to like one of my favorite convoluted fights of the season was this whole thing where

about this, a Monique showing text messages to Ashley that Monique, text messages from Candace II Ashley, and then of course Ashley tells Jacelle about the text messages from Candace too, Ashley. And then, of course, Ashley tells Jazeal about the text messages. And it's such a stupid tangle of shit. And so they start to, kind of like, as Andy says, it's a large one pack here. So they start to unpack it. And like, why was it okay for Monique to give Ashley her phone and let Ashley read private text messages between Monique and Candace. So Monique says she wants to exonerate herself because Candace was saying that everyone was

like laughing about all the Michael stuff when it came out and Monique wanted to show that in her text messages she wasn't laughing. And the best part is that like Candace was like, did see now I get to, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm looking at my own notes. I know exactly what happened. I can't even up listening to you. I'm looking at my own notes. I know exactly what happened. I can't even get my word straight. I'm looking at my notes following what you're saying

to make sure my notes are in the same place as what you're saying. And I'm tangled to you. My brain is, my brain is Andy's eyes right now. So the, just like half closed. Basically, Monique is saying I wasn't laughing. I wasn't laughing and I had to show these texts to show that I wasn't laughing. And so then it's like, but Monique talked trash about Michael and Ashley and other conversations. And, you know, what about that situation, Monique, when Candace FaceTime,

you said karma will get you. And she's like, I wasn't laughing. I was just stating the facts. I'm just stating the facts. Karma will get you. And I said it with a smile, because I think it's funny that when karma gets you, it's like so karma and I just, and so I laughed and so I was laughing and smiling and talking about karma getting Michael, but I was just stating facts. No kidding. I mean karma, karma is also a chameleon. Do you want to get boy George up here and like tell them off because you can. Okay. Karma is a chameleon there. He said it and he's like, well, that's not nice though She is well, I'm just stating a fact. Okay, that's a fact

Carman fact so so Robin who's he's decides about odd things to fight about yeah Robin chooses the most important Even Robin chooses the most boring fights Yes, no, it's like a fun. I'll wear Karen's wig. That sounds like a great idea. It's like why didn't you fight that? So Robin's like, well, but you threw us all into the boss because you said that everybody was laughing and she goes everybody was like, no I wasn't laughing. I was like, can we please cut to the scene of Robin on the couch cracking up with a bullet fruit? We we know Robin that you were laughing because we've been making your laugh noise ever since that you were laughing because we've been making your laugh noise ever since Shit that like chunk of I think it was watermelon and she had that chunk just hovering by her mouth I don't know I noticed he did that in this episode I totally thought of you. I was like that was for bed. I felt like that was a high five to you because at one point

By the way, and I don't think she should deny it. Of course she was laughing because it's like hilarious I'm sorry. It's hilarious because when we all found out we as an audience when we found out about I'm sure no one was like This is shocking. I'm sure we're all like oh We all were we all were yeah, so Karen are Ashley says well, this is how I felt and carry goes remember You're spiritual now you spiritual remember that remember that Ashley spiritual now now she's like okay, well I'll say is it to me it spoke volumes

Okay, okay, Ashley so the next thing is what about Candice saying that Ashley was just using Candice as a ladder to get to Monique? I know I think the other way around it was Monique using Candace to get to Ashley, which I think is Hello, like not another of those things is high up. That's like that's like that's like using someone to get on top of a Squatty Potty. Okay, you're not really that high off the floor. It's like someone using a ladder to pick a paper towel up off the floor. It's like it makes no sense You just have to go over the other side of the ladder, which isn't as secure. Yeah since was as when is anyone social climbing to get into Ashley's good graces. I just don't understand that. I mean last time I checked

Michael's up on the balcony. Michael's up on Michael's do you have anything to say about this? I just like to remind everybody that I am an international business man with lots of business. All right. I needed hearing news. Deal. Deal and deals and business contract negotiation synergy. Collaboration and conglomeration.

Yeah, no one is claiming you to get to the top of that ladder. I mean, first of all, Monique already has enough climbing she has to do with Chris and bad, okay. Second of all, she, they, Monique is, Monique lives in a palace. She has an aquarium and I'm not talking about like a fish tank. She has an actual aquarium that's run by the state in her kitchen, okay. an actual aquarium that's run by the state in her kitchen. Okay. Ash actually aquarium with the children visit.

Okay. Yeah. I just saw Cameron from Southern charm here with her child running around endlessly. There is someone who actually has to climb into her fish tank and clean it. Okay. That is what happens. Okay.

Ashley just got rid of a pool table that was where her couch is now. All right. There's the Monique is not trying to climb into that. Yeah, it's ridiculous. And so Candice is like, you are chastising me in front of her so you can get an hurt grade graces. You tried to take me down up Candice. Candice, you are so self-involved.

I think that you could even be a rung on a ladder. Okay, please. That's, and that's the, that the hidden message here, is by her asserting this, that Monique used her to ascend, that implies that Candace is already up a certain level, already has a certain sort of sort of special access and has some sort of privilege that Monique doesn't have, which is all completely false because Candace is the new one and Candace is the one

who just paid off her loans to bank of America Is she never paid off those loans and she never did by the way she's in default the credit the crisis is happening By the way the first bank that's gonna the first bank that's gonna close and that whenever we have in our next financial crisis Is gonna be the bank of Dorothy? Yeah, the bank of Dorothy is like when capital capital one calls me every day and it gives me a ding like five times a day, except when the Bank of Dorothy calls your phone just hits you in the head. I was reading about this crazy travel agency in England called Thomas, I want to say Thomas

Cork, it's not called that, but it's this agent, this, it's a travel agency that's been around since 1841 and they collapsed today. I don't know if you heard about this, but they full on collapsed and I had never heard of it, but I think it's very British based and and they this, this company, they have an airline, they do travel packages. It's like you go to them and they book you travel and essentially because they collapse today, everyone who had booked a flight with them and who was like abroad because they're on vacation packages or whatever are now stranded. Because-

Oh no. There's like 600,000 people across the world who can't get back home right now. And I was like, that's Dorothy. That's what Dorothy would do. Dorothy would be like, all right, Candace, fine. It's a little mom and D also, fine, fine. Okay, guess what?

I'm just gonna close down this, you know, 160 year old company, 180 year old company. All right, fine, fine, I'm gonna do that. Yeah, not even. Yeah, she would just, no hard, not good morning, it's just hard night. The point is this, the point is this, Dorothy is an old collapsing travel agency and

Candace still has not moved on to Orbits. Yeah. Candace is going to get stranded somewhere. Hopefully in her $2 million house. So this is the perfect kicking in if I'm making strained metaphors with the fail travel agency, huh? I'm like thinking about all those people. I'm like, that's par people.

So we've got five pages of notes to get through. And I'm like thinking about all those people. I'm like that's par-a-people. So we've got five pages of notes to get through and I'm like that's par-a-people. I have to have an aquarium to go see. But I mean I feel bad for all those people who are stranded but at the same time it's kind of hilarious to think of a whole bunch of British people who are like oh I guess we'll have to spend more time and believe then. So what do we do Nigel? More continental breakfast for us, eh? I just imagine everything as a plate British comedy like, Oh no, though the wallases are stuck in Belize coming soon to the beab. This is probably way down Abbey was number one this weekend because all the stranded Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da that this many old British white people would make a movie this big. God, I wonder where they suddenly got so much free time.

Oh, well, clearly O'Brien left a bar of soap under the Thomas Cook company's foot. God. Oh, good. Okay. So they're fighting over who made who look bad and Monique's like, you made yourself look bad. I'm not you, you lied on me in front of the whole group. So whatever, it's not acting like the victim. And Candace is like, well, then we can farm.

And you said you dragged me pregnant. And where's that baby now? Where's that baby now? Come drag me there. Yeah, that is very country club community. Yeah, country club community right there. So finally Karen stands up. Oh, security, this is the only way.

Where's the only way? OK, everyone, let it go. OK, if people don't stop letting it go right now I'm gonna show them to a tropical storm right now. Oh look. I did it. Drop the storm Karen on its way on its way I will not sit here for this nonsense if this doesn't stop I shall be leaving right now. I'm leaving I'm leaving Like Karen literally nobody cares if you leave it. Okay, I know it's not the threat you want to make like if you don't stop this I'm bringing you cookies young man Yeah, no we'll get to cookies Um, by the way, did you know that there really is a tropical storm Karen happening right now?

That's why I mentioned no, that's why I mentioned it damn tropical storms Hey, just a general message to whatever tropical storms are listening to this how about you fuck off? Okay, that would be great. How about you just leave everybody alone? Listen, I think there's nothing to worry about with tropical storm Karen because tropical storm Karen is gonna show up and like if you're expecting, you know, her to knock down things whatever, no, it's like no, no, no, no, no We don't have the wind this time. We're in discovery phase. We're thinking about the wind But what we do have is a reveal of a cloud Trapplethorm Karen come through like it's so weird this tropical storm Karen said she was gonna come live here

But she actually lives 20 miles away in a rented house You know like I've heard of the expression. It's raining cats and dogs, but I've never heard of the expression is raining facts machines and laser disc players Security it's a car. It's just raining security but I've never heard of the expression as raining facts machines and laser disc players Security it's a guy it's just raining security So Thread sleeve so then we see the guys getting ready and one all the none of the husbands are probably too excited to be here except for Chris like Chris used to love this little yes, oh little yeah seems to always like, well, big Chris is just happy anywhere, you know, he's just happy anywhere that he's not confined. Yeah, that's how I was going to say, you know, I think he's just like excited to see a different type of room. I feel like he's, there's something like sort of childlike about, like he'd like to

look at the walls. Like, whoa, look at this room. Look a hallway. Oh, oh, oh, yeah, it's like my dressing room is a warehouse. I no longer feel confined by the tiny teeny room in my mansion So then we cut back to Andy outside. Oh, what I was gonna say is ever all the guys look happy, but Juan looks miserable He always looks just fucking so mad to be there. Yeah, always, always. You should be so lucky, Mom, because guess what? Without this show, you'd be working at, I don't know, Best Buy. Best Buy. Best Buy. That's right. So I want to go to a Best Buy.

I haven't been to one of this in a while. So Andy's like, so Robin, your life was under construction, but this season it was matching tats and I don't know. I was even bored during rob and search for that. Andy, I'm not typing this out. Andy couldn't even be bothered to finish out his metaphor. Your season was under construction and you think the next thing would be like, but you flipped it around. He's like, but you and Juan got tattoos. I'm like, okay,

so you just want to, you want to lead us to the water, but not, not actually to anymore. Okay, fine. Andy. Your relationship was foreclosed on. You tried to come up with enough money to save it, but it turned into an REO. Also tattoos. It's like, wait a minute. You want a real estate there? There's a second.

Come back. So we see Robin's storyline for the season, which was her rehab, her rehab again, her rehab again, and then a really awkward massage with Juan. Yeah, exactly. And then they're tattooed. So the news is, I think we learned it at the end of the season, but Robin sold the house and got a $30,000 profit. And now she is looking for a new flip. So, so anyone who has a shack out there, send send your send your listing to Robin. She's looking looking for flips. Yeah, she'll be honest. So just else like, well, I felt horrible about starting to fight at her moment, her big

moment. But I apologize profusely. And Robin's like, well, Chisel, I just want you to know that, you know, what you should do is think about what would upset you like that like I got upset You know put yourself in someone else's shoes Okay Robin thanks thanks for coming Robin great jump. I think it's been four years at four seasons I don't see just all ever doing that so then Andy's like Robin you had a late-niz rock bottom by missing the trip You were hosting so have anything to say about that she's, I'm slow. I'm very slow. And that was sure. I was like, are you going to, is anyone going to pile on

maybe and be like Robin? You can't be late. No, okay. Fine. Yeah, you know how when the sun starts going down at night, your body is just trained to kind of like, oh, like you get a little tired just because the sun went down. That's what happens whenever Robin has asked a question. My eyes start going like kind of closing a little bit and it just feels like the end of a work day, you know? Yeah, she has a very, what is it? Soporific effect is not, is not the word. I'm too stupid. So I just say she's boring and gross.

Oh, soporific means tending to induce drowsiness or sleep, or a drug or other agent that induces sleep. She's not an ambient, which is delicious, and actually puts you to sleep for eight hours. She's like a Tylenol PM, where it's like, oh, I'm kind of tired. And then you're all mad the next day, and you don't know why.

And you're like, why did I just cry? She's like, I'm gonna receive you to Michanga. Where you eat it, and you're like, that's nice. And I can't move anymore. I'm tired, must sleep on this sidewalk right now. Right, like where it was kind of good, because you just wanted to eat,

but it also reminded you how much you don't hate Angela. Does that after all? Yeah. And you say to yourself, why did I do this? Why did I do this to myself? I didn't need to have this. I could have just had like a normal thing. Like, I could have had a salad

And now I'm falling asleep at the wheel and about to hit a small tree on the way to a larger tree. Why why? Yeah, so basically that that sums up Robin's performance So Robin's like they talk about the divorce and how the kids had to find out on Google that she was even divorced and then they and Andy and Andy goes So your boys found out you got divorced through Google. Uh, did you not want to get ahead of that? I love when he asked the dick question. It's so good. And then he follows it up with, so are you and Juan 100% monogamous?

And it's like, oh, and we cut to commercial. Like it's going to be some solaceous answer. But the answer was, as far as I know So what about ring tattoos and she's like we needed to stamp on our relationship Andy Meanwhile, it comes to Karen. Oh, this is this calls for a Karen Pucker Big Pucker big Pucker. I don't approve Well, I thought it was gonna be something important. You know, I would like it to be in the middle where I could see it.

For instance, Ray and I feel like it's very important to put things that are important to you, where people can see it. That's why we have a large tube television right in the middle of our fire. Listen, when you came to my house pretending you were delivering a pizza to catch me in a lie, I put furniture right in the middle of the living room. So it looked like we were actually living there That's all I'm saying It's called pronouncing it putting things in a pronounced area Security securities in a pronounced area. I said good it. Oh, so to sell wasn't impressed right to sell

She's like well, she said she was gonna get a family crest or something. Oh, it's like a family crest She said she was gonna get a family crest or something. I was like a family crest. And what family crests do they have? It's like a lock box. What would Robin's family crest be? It would literally be a box of crest that they all bought together. Like, well, we went to the drugstore. I got big casca size.

It's like it took up my whole arm, so we decided to move from the family size crest to something, know something easier and just like yeah, but hearts hearts are universal So we're rings yeah, so yeah, so just like we would like we'd like Robin and one to get married again And then Karen then turns to just like oh, we would like you to get married again. That would help you a lot. Mm, scurdy, get a man, scurdy. After all, what good is a woman without a man? Mm, mm, mm. And when he's like, yeah, you were a lot nicer

when you were getting steady D Let's stop pretending. This is Giselle's best season by far, I think yeah So Marie from Dorchester, which I'm assuming is like Massachusetts is says your tagline is shorter than my hair Your tagline is the shorter my hair is the shorter my patient But why you so patient with one getting married that was my nod to Dorchester. All of Dorchester just raised their hands. Did you hear that? Yeah.

That was Dorchester mass. Dorchester. Could there be any other Dorchester? I don't think so. I'm gonna look at it right now because I think that Dorchester just has to be massed usage. Yeah. Providence like, well, you don't really understand it unless you're in it Which kind of you know ruins all housewives shows ever so he's like, well, are you gonna marry Juan?

I was like are you gonna continue this? Please make this stop immediately. I'm also like are we really going to Ask this question for the fourth reunion in a row at what point do we just drop this storyline like I don't think anyone truly cares about Robin and Wands, you know, the state of their relationship. I actually like Robin quite a bit. Wands, he can be a little sulky, but he's hot, so I like that.

They have a nice little family. Just be, just be. I'm not. No one wants to see another Bravo wedding, A. Yeah. We don't want to see fucking Robbins Bravo wedding. Okay. Definitely not. No. Yeah. And see her answer was really funny because she's like, well, maybe in a year and a half, because that means she doesn't have to talk about it again

next season. It's like, yeah, it's not going to stop anything, Robin. They're still going to ask you. Exactly. And it's also not going to happen in a year and a half unless we're talking like, what's the opposite of dog years? Is there something that has a slow like tortoise? Like butterfly years like butterfly because I think they only live like two weeks Oh, well then that's really fast. I'm thinking like oh I'm thinking longer than longer. Yeah longer dog years. Oh, okay longer than human years. Sorry my questions are bad I was like half let's, half of seven is two weeks. Half of seven years was two weeks. Aren't you glad you asked me?

Oh, yeah. So now we, uh, now we move on to Jazelle and Karen. And, uh, you know, it's the montage of segment of basically Karen and Jazelle's greatest hits going back from season one when Karen did not get to sit in the center seat for her birthday party, which still ranks as one of my favorite arguments that ever happened on this show. Me too. I started cracking up when they showed that because she goes, well, Potomac etiquette rule number one. I'm like Potomac etiquette rule number one.

I just love that we always used to make fun of how she would say, well, etiquette and Potomac is, you eat with a fork. It's like, yes, Karen, that's kind of how she would say, well, etiquette and Potomac is, you eat with a fork. It's like, yes, Karen, that's kind of how it's done all over the country. Yeah, and she brought that little picture frame, she, she put the rules in a picture frame to give to Giselle. And that was at the time when Giselle had crazy, crazy, crazy bangs that were like basically, like draperies over her eyes, then Karen had the opposite, which

was that she had a hairline that started like at the back of her head. So it's just, I'm happy to see that their wig game has just really improved over the years. Yeah, the big change here was in their wigs for sure because this was like when you see a famous dancer being celebrated somewhere and they show their audition for that Broadway show, you know, they're like, or they're like, let's look at Melissa McCarthy's audition for SNL, you know, yeah, this was like their audition shots from their first season because that's what a first season is You know, it's just one log audition shot that give you five dollars And you see what people make do with for five dollar wigs, you know, and whatever they could afford at the time It's like everything's glue gun to their foreheads. Oh, yeah

I'm really especially because wasn't Potomac its first season supposed to be a show about about etiquette Wasn't the whole and then they just change it into a house. So I've show It's not about etiquette.'t the whole, and then they just changed it into a house I've shown. What's it about etiquette? I think it was. I think it started out as like a group of women and etiquette. It was something like that. And then it's, you know, I think that and Dallas was supposed to be about charity.

And both these shows were coming out. And then I think that they just robber decided to make them both new real housewives franchises. Don't quote me on that, but I'm pretty sure that's what I read somewhere. That actually makes a lot of sense if that's the case because, remember that whole fight was Sharice

because Giselle went upstairs and she should have gone upstairs. And Shasha apparently is filming again for the new season. The new season is already started. Ta-da. Which is exciting because obviously, I think the other rumors that Katie got fired after the came in islands trip because probably because she left

Without telling anyone and that's probably a big no-no So and she's probably a liability for other sad dark reasons, but but Sasha there there was a photo of Sasha filming With the rest of the gals at Candace's one year anniversary party. Which by the way, also one year anniversary party, do I have to go to that fuck off with your one year anniversary? Roger fucking laces go to dinner at silly's like every many else. I'm officially better to be married to you than you. Because jillies is way better than apple pieze.

Well, I almost had cheesecake factory, but... Okay, you would have won. Only because our hypothetical... Yeah, you would have won the hypothetical, but you didn't. So, we're not going back to season 3, Ben. Yeah, okay, so anyway, so we get to see all of Karen and Giselle's greatest hits, which are really so wonderful. And when we come out of it, Giselle starts saying the typical thing of like,

I just want to be in a better place with Karen. That's all I want to be, which of course she always says. Yeah. Until I try to ruin your life again. Ma. Yeah. So Karen's like, well, now we have one requirement. Put your seat belt on before you start to drive.

Mm. Don't go upstairs unless you're requested Three sit down in a chair. There's not the middle seat on someone else's birthday Don't keep me after midnight Five give me other light Don't ever get one of on me that's for sure And six no paid no gains. Wait a minute, Karen.

Stick to a movie, okay? So she's like, well, don't cross the streams. Don't cross the streams. Yeah, she's like, I want to requirement if you're on the left, you're supporting me and if you're on the right, you're throwing me under a bus. So how about just pick a pick a side, pick a side?

Yeah, she's well, you know, you know, you know, you know just tell you know she sits there in the chair because the chair is the interview that so she sits in the chair and she's vicious she's vicious and like well you're pretty vicious too can't just no I am a darling security this darling wants to say that she loves you that's all I'm darling darling I'm not the only woman you've gone after with that chair She loves using that chair. So you you sit in your chair. I'm like Karen you'd literally brought props this year to your chair Can we stop how angry does Karen get when she watches the voice? Oh look at you sitting in there in that chair swiveling around She goes, she goes to executions just to yell at people before they get the switch poles. Look how

dare you, you and your chair. Any last words I'll bet you do sitting in your chair. They Karen, we don't, we don't need this right now. I'm about to pull this switch, just say you own it, say you own it. All right, you just made fun of Monique. Okay, then you get a pardon. So Karen tells Jizal, you're vicious and you're malicious and Jizal says, I'm not, I'm not vicious or malicious, just a lovely and delicious. I couldn't care for another.

I'm like, you halfway quoted delight. I cannot believe that no one referenced that. Did anyone else notice that? No, I didn't. Just a little bit of it. Jizal literally said, I'm not vicious or malicious. I'm like, oh my god. She literally was just a little malicious. Just a lovely and delicious. I could have done for another. D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d Grievous in the heart. Grievous in the chair. Guess what? The groove is in the chair and that

chair and that groove is nasty as a vicious groove. Grievous in the heart. Scurried it as a groove in here. Scurried my heart. Ow! My heart. I've got a groove in it. Scurried it. Scurried it. We're in the discovery phase about this groove. We think it's going to be in a hot, but it might also be in a pot that raised checking, okay, right? Stop chattering the pots. There's no groove in there. So how long have you selling Karen Bin France? And Karen's like, I don't want to say it. But there was more mother stuff going on. I remember when Richard Nixon suggested spanking your children. I never!

I don't want to say how long we've been friends, but I can say that when the Lindy Hop came around, I never! I don't want to say how long we've been friends, but I can say that when the Lindy Hop came around, I was the first one to teach it everyone and Giselle did not know it. I'll tell you this Andy, Giselle learned the gin and bug from me, so... All I have to say is that I was the first one who had a model T, that's it. That's all I'll say. Henry Ford was a very good friend of mine. Oh, so when did they started fighting about Cookiebait? Okay, so they're talking about how Karen's talking about how they go way back and how their friendship before reality TV used to be more about mothering because they had kids and they sound like they would go to like kid stuff and Karen goes, well we were about Cookie

bait. She didn't like to lose that know she didn't like to lose that she doesn't like to lose now I was like okay and then Jazeal goes you cheated for cookie-bake period end of story I'm like wait please tell us more about cookie-bake what happened at cookie-bake because I need to know everything and it's been going out it's been going on ever since they've hated each other ever since Jazeal accused her of cheating at the cookie-bake Who would have thought that that scene in the beginning of the season of Jacelle making cookies her daughter's making cookies for Karen would actually be loaded with so many memories because you know

Yeah, oh, these cookies from the cookie-bake Oh, you were a war running cookie-bake. Oh, I guess you didn't win the war because I won it. I won the award cookie-bake You reward one and kick with base. Oh, I guess you didn't win the award because I won it. I won the award cookie-bake Yeah, it's like the origin story. It's like an entire lost episode dedicated to that one character story Yeah, all we know I mean so that's in there for you Amy voters. Yeah, exactly. That's what you got to do because apparently Jezele says the Karen cheated at cookie-bake, but Karen said oh well she didn't follow directions and she lost and she never got over that She never got over it She had a inferior cookie See it's for cookie, but it's also the great that Jacelle got hmm

This cracked me up because Andy said out so Pookie from the poke nose wants to know Jacelle fights with Karen more but Karen hits deeper so ladies Who do you think is to blame in all this fighting? And they all go, just out. And Candace says, just out is a bully. And Robyn's like, well, Karen, you're the one that's so defensive. And she's like, Oh, you know what, Robin, that worked that last year, not this year. Because I have ownership. I have ownership this year, not only of my behavior, but but of my house which I am leasing to currently possibly own maybe if I lease it properly owning own. It's a good it's a good rebuttal to when someone says you're defensive. So then Karen's like you know Jiselle she's messy

pants she's messy pants she's taught me all the time she's messy pants. She's messy pants. She starts me all the time. She's messy pants. She literally has messy pants. Look at all those chocolate chips stands from a loser chocolate chip cookie. Mm, look at that. Don't stir the beehive if you don't want to get stung by better cookies. Am I right, Annie? Mm.

Well, don't stir the beehive if you want to get stung by delicious honeycomb cookies that win fair and square. Did not play on the judges. Just all like, okay, well let's just go have drinks then. And she goes, well, square did not tell the judges just all like okay Well, let's just go have drinks then and she goes well, we did that in the islands. It wasn't that fun Way to Kiki time that was fun. I'm happy. Okay, I'll go have drinks next Next next next and then she she turns and she wakes at the other camera And I was like fucking carrot. She's even waking at the wrong camera right now giving that man a cookie

So that way he gives me a good angle. That's what that means. Cookie game. So Andy is. Andy mentions that money kind of giant headed baby. She's like, so the big headed Samuels baby left you exhausted to reach, to reach for your umbrella. And we saw a way softer and way more so beside of you. Oh my god, he's that is shade right there. Yeah, so we see montage of all the stuff that Monique's gone through. And like one small part of it was the joke that that scene where Monique and Chris were talking

about how like Chris doesn't want to have more sex because, oh no, because I don't know what it was, but basically where Mon in Monique Lafayette. Well, if I knew that the only thing to stop Chris from having one, I have another baby is to keep the sex away from him. I would have done it. And then it's like this whole montage. We come out of it.

The very first thing Andy asks is, so have you received your normal sex schedule? I'm like, he's so tacky. We just went through a montage of like someone losing their child, like all this stuff, and Andy's like, so, what about sex? Yeah. But he's like, yes, thank the Lord.

Have you noticed I'm flatter and wider now? And then Karen looks grossed out because she doesn't want to talk about sex. And I'm like, lady, you're the one who's going to cheat just how to give a blowjob next week. So please stop acting like you're so pretty. I'm a proper. No, I'm just showing you how to make a reward winning cookie. Yeah. So then, uh, he asked about the mother-in-law, Miss Shirley.

And, um, Benny from Dover, Delaware. God, what a hero. He goes, is it hard to look at Miss Shirley and not see Chris in a wig? Because that's what I say. She goes, yeah, I put on a wig on Chris and they really do look exactly like and then they show pictures of them side by side with a wig on Chris and God, he really does. Oh God, it looks just like his mother, just like his mother. So then we move on to Jacelle and Monique having like a tiny little fight.

He's like, well, Jacelle tried it, but you know, that was pretty short and boring. Maybe it's because the living room was too small. Robin. Yeah. He's like, well, so where are you in Jacelle right now? I mean, Monique is like, well, I think I'm still own an apology in Jacelle. So, no, you know what, that night at Robin's tiny open house was three years in the making on. I'm like'm like no come on now

That was not and you're the one who's been making it. I liked it. Monique said that she's like you're the one who's not nice to me She's like I did one little thing so I did that one little thing of Bringing your boyfriend's axe on the show to talk about how your boyfriend was probably fucking prostitutes in parks I mean, so I did that one little thing Yeah, but you're the one who's been me to me. Yeah. And by the way, Monique wasn't the one who brought that lady on. It was Karen and Shasha, right? And so like, but Monique was the fall for it. Well, Monique kind of did. Monique shot a scene. Monique brought her on. Yeah, she shot a scene with her. I think it's more the other lady. Yeah, I don't know. But Monique took the full fall for it, which was hilarious.

Because wasn't it that she had a charity event? Well, she didn't have a charity event that she was running. She was just asked to speak it one. So she didn't go to another charity event because she was speaking at this one. And at this charity event, she, Karen went to the charity event after lying, saying that she wasn't gonna go or she did. Oh, Robin was having like an empowerment luncheon, which was organized a week before. I mean, if you thought the flip looked bad, you should have seen this empowerment luncheon. Okay. It was like sandwiches from Subway. And then Monique is like, I can't go to it because I'm going to like another charity. And they got mad at Monique because Monique made it sound like it was her charity, but she's just speaking at it or being honored but either way Monique is

like I'm doing this and then Karen backed out of Robbins because with Karen was like oh I want to go to the fancy thing not Robbins stupid luncheon and then Karen blatantly lied and then said it was Siri because because Robbins like you're gonna come to my luncheon and Robbins like yes I will absolutely be there there's no reason why I would not be there I'm not just saying we gonna be there at the litter and she's like oh that was Siri you know how Siri is you know you tell her Siri find me a spoon and the next thing you know she's asked me peeing to every single event in town even for your ridiculous lunch and did I say that you're not here for a spoon next thing you know she's bringing you poo and everyone's accusing you

of things but I didn't do okay okay, Mr. Blue Eyes. Hmm. So that being said, Jacelle and Monique. So yeah, Jacelle was like, yeah, I was disappointed. I thought we're at a better place, saw. And Monique's like, you were the one who was talking trash about me. So I don't know what you're talking about. She's like, well, I was told

that you were talking trash shot from Ashley, and Karen's like here's my question Andy Why do we have pigeon carriers in this group Andy? Why can't we upgrade to something modern like you know Mail that you write and put in an envelope. Why don't you why it's not something modern like that? I'm a woman of the modern age and I would like to tell Chizelle that Monique has been talking to her Wait for the horse and buggy who will be carrying the message Mmm, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait other now. So Andy asks, Jacelle. So do you believe that Monique wasn't trash talking to you? And Jacelle's so tired at this point. She's like, was she?

They're like, no! And she's like, no, I told you she wasn't trash talking. She goes, oh, okay, I got it. You know what, I'm tired, whatever. My delivery was bad. This is day over yet. Yeah. Someone needs to.

I can't even remember what she's got. She's not can't remember what she's supposed to be mad at. Yeah, she's basically like my delivery was on 10. It should have been 1.2. That's also my cookies should have been a 10, but they got ranked 1.2. Wasn't fair. And they're like, OK, they're all just kind of laughing. I'm only said, well, thanks for being accountable.

They all laugh because they have bigger fish to fry. You know, this is the penis. This is the butt grabbing episode, you know? So they're like, oh, we all love each other right now. So, and then Monique is like, you know, Jacelle isn't happy unless if she can't push your buttons. And I just, you know, I just don't, you know, I don't like being dominated.

And Andy is like, and he goes, well, with all due respect, we do have a bunch of tops in the room and not a lot of bottoms, am I right? I'm like, you know, I think there'll be a lot of gay people who will not totally love the implication that you're saying right now. And he's like, Michael, Michael's up on the balcony.

Michael, do you have something to say? Just come out to raise my auntie. Like you see any bottom on stage here? See any bottoms? Not a lot of bottoms, not a lot of bombs at all, right? A stupid bottom. I heard bottoms and I ran up those stairs with my fingers are pinching. So if anyone can just point me in the direction of the bottom business business on the business man The only reason why my fingers are pinching is because I'm trying to pinch at the cash

That I'm earning from my business dealings and negotiations and such MBA Well Ashley your uncle's party was not only good for fashion It was a where's the sausage a penis or a sausage penis, or a misunderstanding about a penis sausage, misunderstanding. So which husband was it about? Let's watch a clip package about gay fear and gay. What does what do they call that gay? gay panic. No, gay panic. Yeah. Let's watch our clip about gay panic. Right after I just said every housewife is the top

So we see the whole thing play out and so Robin still won't say who's dick that Mike that she heard and Monique is like well, I know it ain't Chris because nobody can handle that but me. I'm like that's exactly why I probably I mean, I mean, it's like it's a challenge. I mean, that's a challenge. It's a challenge. You know, international businessmen love challenges. So I can handle, I can handle a big, long, fam business deal. That's what I can handle.

It's what I can, listen, I can handle a good goose if we're gusing up the numbers on an Excel spreadsheet because I'm an international business man. Listen, there's nothing more that I want to get my hands on. Then one, get both hands on along around GC business deal and make some business happen. I cannot wait to stick my Johnson into your wide gaping vanilla envelope and by Johnson I met my handcock Johnson because I started to business deal. You know what I want to put in my mouth? Some big, hot, sexy, long words that I can string together into sentience and make a business you'll hear it.

So they're like, who's husband's dick to the one is that, which we've always known is R.O. It's one. Of course. So they make it this big mystery and Rob is like, well, we'll say it to somebody else. It's like, we all know it's one. Come on, she goes, well then I'll just go with a popular opinion. Okay, it was one. It was one, it was one. I mean, even Ashley's pretty much like, it's one. Come on. She goes well then I'll just go with a popular opinion. Okay. It was one

He was one is one. I mean even Ashley's pretty much like it's one right? It's one so Who doesn't want a second stick? So then back stage then it cuts randomly to back stage Michael is getting his putting his tie on in front of the other guys And he goes so Chris you got a team this year and all and the guys just aired him like Fuck is this guy? I know. Why is Michael asking us what team we play for? Everybody's just going to take everything Michael says, Rob, you know, exactly.

Just their blank, their blank expressions were hilarious. So Andy's like, well, why would Ashley, you're saying that Robins lying about this. So what would be her motive to lie about it? She goes, well, I took it as revenge for me, but the other things that I said about Juan, which were that Juan was cheating on her and her yelling about her relationship with Juan sucking and all of that. And Robbins like, that's not the case. The reason I felt comfortable bringing it up is because of your behavior to other people. I was like, oh, so then you were bringing it up because yeah, because of well

I don't think I don't think that Robin was doing it out of revenge I actually don't think that she operates like that and I think if she does operate on a petty in a petty way like we know it and we see it and we feel it I think this was her being like, oh you know and and and she basically was like, well, I thought I could bring it up because you've been so messy in the past. I thought you'd be able to handle me being a little messy too. But you can't. Yeah. There's also a lot of why don't you phrase it until what they until now.

And Karen's like, well, I thought she was just going to say, you know, I thought asked you would just say, oh, Michael loves to squeeze ass. Hmm. I mean, who cares? I just question this time because you reacted so crazily. I mean, you already knew about the charges being leveled during the dick sucking conversation. And I'm sorry, I said competition to sell,

but just to remind you, you lost it. I, you cheated, duh, you cheated, duh. So there's also a lot of discussion about the fact that Robin heard Dick and Chris heard Sausage. It's like, Dick Sausage is Sausage Dick. And he's like, well, they are two different words, which is true, but like, you know, the brain does weird things.

And like that, I feel like it's immaterial that it's like Dick or Sausage is the same concept. And I just felt like really stating that because I think it's important to say that. Well, one thing I thought was really funny in that because they did show that clip of Chris saying, I think he said sausage and then Candice at that party when she heard it and she goes,

Well, the dick just said sausage. I thought it was funny. Well, the other thing is that Robin then was like, Well, it does not mean that we're selling the truth because if we were both lying, we'd have the exact same story. So we have different stories which shows that we're actually telling the truth,

which was some warped logic that I actually kind of agreed with. No, I don't think that that's actually true, because I witness accounts are never the exact same. It's when people are lying and they come up with a story that all of their stories are exactly the same. That's what Robin was saying. Oh, I thought she was saying, wouldn't our stories

all be exactly the same? No, no, she was saying this shows why we're telling the truth because our stories are different. Oh, yeah. It's more often that shows that Robin and I both watch a lot in order. Yeah. Basically, it's what that shows. Yeah, plus also, like, you know, Chris may have heard sausage,

but that's also because he's working on a very important cookbook. And so food is top of mind. And I've taken enough notes on these shows to know that someone will say something and I will write it down verbatim and then I go back and I'm like I wrote down a completely different sentence than what was said. How did that happen? I do it all the time. Yeah, every time I rewind, I'm like I didn't write down anything that I just wrote down whatever my interpretation of what they just said is. Yeah, it's close. It's shocking what the brain can do to a word. It's really, really shocking. Yeah, so basically Chris heard him say he's gonna suck a KCDR. And then Karen's like, well, why didn't you just tell us?

So, you know, why didn't you check us in our shoes and say, here's what's up. My husband has been on a violent tear across the city and I've heard. or whatever. Yeah, yeah Karen's like Karen goes, well, you know, I don't think we even realize how serious it was and like you should just Checked us and said I don't think this you might think this is funny But I'm dealing with some serious shit in my life and if you had done that I would have been like oh my god This is serious. Let's stop. I would have been silent. That's what I would have done

I'm like yeah, right Karen come on now Yeah, you would have taken that right to your to your friends in the phone. Right. I'm so full of it. So Basically, they're saying you knew that your husband was being accused of sexual assault and you never even mentioned it while we're having this whole conversation. And she's like, yes, because I thought you guys had heard of the sexual assault stuff and we're piling on shit You're just throwing more shit at the fan basically right and none of them had heard of it So and Ashley was saying that Karen was actually basically says that Karen was reveling in all this She's like you were reveling and Karen was like no just so told you I was reveling in a blah

Was reveling and she's like you admitted it it, a ta cookie jida cookie jida. And she goes, no, I said I had an enjoyable moment. That's not reveling. I just was smiling and dancing and full of joy. But it's not reveling, not reveling. Yeah, and she's like, well, that's not reveling. Revealing is a wonderful mascara that you put on your face. It's the best in the business.

And she's like, that's a wrap line. Yes, and still my yours. Mm. Still not yours best in the business. And she's like, uh, that's Reflon. Yes. And still nod yours. Here's what I was. Here's what I revel about coming in first place. I cookie big fair and square not paid off anyone did not pay off anyone. And Andy's like, actually, that is Reflink Karen. And she goes, Oh, well, you want to use semantics and use semantics. And he had fun with that.

And it felt like you literally gave Robin a high five for being the bone carrier and then we see the clip of Karin doing just that And then she goes you said And Karin's like let me be clear. All right. That if jazel had been quiet and not drug that back to you We could have been good. Um, yes, because that little pigeon carrier over there hadn't heard of horse and buggy, so. Maybe she should spend more time working on her terrible cookies, and last time trying to drag me into the dirt, and she would win some competitions once in a while. The Dom cookies coming soon, coming soon.

Jacelle's argument is failing like her peanut butter crunch cookies Snicker do it all more like snicker do not am I right everyone am I right? Enjoy your snicker enjoy your snicker doodles Ejie Karen you cheated you made oatmeal raisin cookies knows never win competitions you cheated you cheated So Karen is like the problem isn't me talking shit is that people said that I was talking shit So Candace is like well just that was the one he said I'm bringing it up I'm bringing it up. I'm bringing it up. She's doing some voice for Chisel and

It's just like Thanks for that. Thanks for just making me fat Albert for your impersonation. Yeah, because they were not there saying how Jacelle was reveling in wanting to bring up all the, you know, bring up this information in Confront Ashley with it and Jacelle was like, no, I was not reveling or celebrating. I was probably crying still sad about losing the cookie bake to a cheetah. So we cannot know this in I'm not doing Karen and Jiselle's voice all together. I know it's weird. I'm following it to become one of mashup. So she's like we cannot my feeling was we cannot know this information and table litter that's what I felt I thought it was

very serious like no you were like dancing, well, you had a lot to say. Everyone had a lot to say, yeah. I mean, wouldn't you have a lot to say, yeah, if your cookie was unfairly put in last place for some funny business, like an oatmeal, a raisin cookie, yeah. So Ash is like, yeah, but I've stood up for you before. I mean, people are always saying that there's

same things about all of us, you know? And I've had your back in the past and you don't have my back I'm like, oh she does that to everyone Ashley. I mean, it's bullshit, but it's you to tell Yeah, it's just you Like thanks Karen. Yeah, she's like you can be a mad at yourself or being like that because just that everyone She's brought you out of one on the left side of her face and on the right side. She's throwing you under the bus It's bullshit, but we know it's you on the left side of her face and on the right side, she's throwing you under the bus. It's bullshit, but we know it's you.

That's why I'm making a special new fragrance called Le Dom and Le Dom in a half. You put one half of the fragrance on the good side of your face, you put the crappy side, the other side of the fragrance, and it all works out together. It's like a black and white cookie, which I also won for. Then you just take the rest of that and you pour it all over your body.

By the way, if anybody wants a breakdown of Karen's, LaDom Fragrance commercial, it's on our last bonus episode. Yeah, go check it out. That commercial is fucking priceless. So, just like, well, we're on a show, Wah. And it happened to all of us, not just you Ashley, yah. I mean, Michael wouldn't be here if it weren't for you Wah. Michael wouldn't be on TMZ, yah.

If it weren't for you Wah. Michael wouldn't have an ass to potentially squeeze if it weren't for you. So, yeah, Jacelle was like, well, maybe I should, my thought was, maybe I should make a joke because this shit isn't funny. Yeah, I'm like, I've never heard that logic before. This shit isn't funny, so I should make a joke. He just doesn't work that way. Yeah, so I'm kind of with Jacelle in a way about all this.

So anyway, Jacelle's like, well, my ish, you know, he goes on Fox five and he says he didn't do it. And Australian out, drop the mic, you know. I mean, how about he say, I'd like to take this opportunity on national television to apologize for humiliating my wife. What about that? And she's like, but he didn't do anything to me. Why would he apologize to me? Yeah, and then

Well, that's I mean, that's the inherent. I mean, that's I mean, yes, and so Jacelle is basically like She's like Well, he didn't do anything to you, but like, he should still make you, like, he should still apologize that you have to deal with this shit, but Ashley is still like, no, but I, like, Ashley is essentially not willing to even approach the idea that this ever happened. Right. She's saying if he apologized to her, that would be basically admitting that he squeezed so much

fast. Right. So Candace is like, well, you know, it's just disrespectful. So he should apologize. I mean, if Chris made some joke that he wants to eat Jisels' ass, I mean, that's disrespectful to me. And everyone goes, whoa, whoa, whoa. She goes, he just used Jisels in that hypothetical

because Jisels' the only one without a husband Jesus I think she said box not ask just to make it even Rhyme okay the word for ask that So Robin's like well, it doesn't you know our point is it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. It's just disrespectful And Monique's like yeah,, yeah, it's the same thing that Ashley did when she brought up if Juan was doing things during your marriage.

It's not your business. But thanks for bringing that up again. Yeah. Because I'm sure Robin loves to hear that every time she gets a chance. Exactly. So then Ashley, so they're all talking about all this stuff. And it can't, of course, is like,

well, you know, it takes a lot of courage to stand up and say something like, as this fine nugman said and that, and everyone's basically like, yeah, why would this guy, you know, jeopardize his career and like, throw himself in the public ring just to lie? Like, what's like, like, why would he do that? And they all, and everyone kind of agrees like, yeah, what's, like, why would he do that? And they all, and everyone kind of agrees, like, yeah, I mean, like, he has what's the motive, you know, what's the motive? And so Ash is like, there, but Michael is a 60 year old man who is a prominent businessman in Washington,

who does business and business and deals and such and business. And when this article came out, why wouldn't there, like, all these people who are like, Michael do that to me too. I'm like, that's not the best logic She is yeah, it only counts if there's like multiple people on TMC talking about it Yeah, doesn't it only require one person? I mean, why does it have to be multiple people? And I'm probably sure a lot of other people just probably are like I don't care and I want to Forget this and move on with my life. Well, my argument has always been with Karen, which is Michael is always

grabbing people's butts. Everyone knows that it's been happening since season one. So he should have just said, oh, I do that is a friendly gesture. It's like men slapping each other on the butt in the local room, which still doesn't make it right. But it's that's probably what his defense would be. But I guess if he said that then he's admitting it Well, that's why I'm also hurting all those business deals and stuff like that and I'm not condoning it or saying it's okay I'm just saying

They're probably denying it because it's actual assault Yeah, and that's probably why Ashley at one point I don't know if you caught this Ashley said I don't think Michael was doing anything He wasn't intending to hurt me in any sort of way or whatever. So she's like bringing up intentionality, which I thought was a fascinating, you know, thing that she dropped in there. So then Robin, so after Ashley says this thing, like, why aren't there other people coming out? So Robin's like, well, the same evening that he grabbed Andrew's butt like three years ago. We were made aware that he grabbed a couple of our producer's butts as well.

And then like all the women were like, yeah, we heard that too. So basically producers like yeah, he's he's a buck rapper Yeah, he just grabs everybody's butts, you know and which is gross But yeah, she's like yeah, actually he's grabbed a lot of producer's butts and everyone's like yeah and carry goes Well, is it just possible that this is something that you don't know about your husband? No, it's not possible that you don't know about your husband? No, it's not possible. She doesn't know that. Come on. She knows. She knows. But she's probably also in her mind. It's like, oh, it's just a, like you said,

in her mind, she thinks it's just some sort of Australian greeting thing. Like a fun like boys will be boys thing because that's how she's overrationalizing it, probably looking the other way. Yes, that's what I think is going on. But you can't even imagine that much because this is just an appetizer because next week is when they grill Michael next week is all but grabbing gate. Yeah, next week will be really good. It was interesting because Andy Cohen said next week the reunion continues, which made me think, is this gonna be a four-parter because he didn't normally it was normally They say the reunion concludes but he just said continues, but I think it is just three parts. Oh Jesus, I hope so. I think it's just three because I looked up the schedule and then two weeks

There's no new Potomac, so oh, so there you go. Yeah, all right everybody. Well, thank you so much for being here Yeah, thanks everyone. We will be back later today with some Thanks for our newsletter. Which is really fun. We'll have a new one out. I don't know when, but keep an eye out on your inbox and you'll see everybody. We'll talk to you soon. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to watch our crap and add free on Amazon Music.

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