Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Is Michael About To Go Down?

Episode Date: May 21, 2019

Scandal descends on Real Housewives of Potomac as Michael possibly offers his services to Juan. Did it happen? Or was Robyn hearing things? Also, it's the return of Katie! Come listen. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins. Poppins. Poppins. What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens? What happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens? What happens when there's so much that happens?

What happens when there's so much that happens? Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelkerr, the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island. It's a cartoon that's on YouTube. Go check it out. And joining me is a hilarious and wonderful man. Mr. Ronnie Carram of the I'm wasn't real house where's also Ronnie Carram of the Rose Pricks Bachelor Rose podcast. What's going on Ronnie?

Hi, B.M. Wow. We are it's Monday. We are coming down from the high that is the Game of Thrones season finale or series finale everyone was super amped Mix mixed reviews about that one. We do a side podcast called winter is crappening So be sure to check that out if you want to get some more insights on that crazy crazy finale Everyone is up in arms. Are they not Ronnie? Nerd arms up in nerd arms drinking nerd tears Okay, fight me. Fight me. I liked it too. You know what, I think it's because we watch Big Brother.

And I think that when you watch Big Brother, you, it's like we have gone used to the fact that we are going to invest a lot of time in something and someone terrible is going to win. Okay, so we are used to it. So last night was like a walk in the park. Yeah, true. So we've just finished that. So thanks for supporting that, true. So we've just finished that. So thanks for supporting that, everybody. We are also touring

around the world's as usual. So come see us. We just did a great Irvine show last week. We had so much fun. Thank you to everybody for coming out. That was a really wild night out there. Next up, we are going to Milwaukee. Get your butts in the seats, Milwaukee. Don't make me come down there and spank you. We have soul tickets, but you know, we have more and I don't like that. Yeah. Like when it says sold out. Make it. Make it happy. Make him happy. Yeah. After Milwaukee, this isn't June. And after that, we're going to Minneapolis. That's in June as well. They were going to Cleveland. Whoa. June as well. No Cleveland. Cleveland's in July. Whoa. Oh, it is. You're right. Cleveland's in July. Whoa.

Oh, it is, you're right. See, ended July. Yeah. As is Pittsburgh and Baltimore. Wow. Yeah, actually Milwaukee is like two and a half weeks away. I can't believe it. It's gonna be during Milwaukee Pride.

So, I mean, what better way to support the Gays in coming to our show? And if you don't come to our show, we just know that you are so close-minded, it's just kidding. Yeah, if you look to our show, you hit gay people. Yeah, it's a fish. It's a fish. We've declared that.

So come celebrate Milwaukee Pride over at our show. Two and a half weeks away. Do it. And then we've got, it's the last week to get your straight to the browser. And all of Rosale Day, Breakfast Lunch and Dinner Shirts, and your Shut Up brand! Game of Thrones shirts. This last week, so go get those over at crappensmerch.com, or you can find links to our tickets and all of our merch and our social media, et cetera, at watchwhatcrappens.com.

That's also where you'll find a link to our Patreon, which guess what? That's where we have bonus episodes. This week's bonus episode is just a little after party time with Danny Pelagrino and Abel the Sisto and Hannah Brown when we went over to Danny's to watch a movie on Netflix. So, I got wasted. So, go listen to that. Yeah, it was super fun. Yeah. So, today we now are going to talk about Real Housewives of Potomac, which is very different from Game of Thrones. Still dragons involved, but not as many chairs got melted. So it's a really similar experience, but very different. Yeah, a lot of melted faces.

Yeah, so actually though, it does open up on a very dramatic note because we see like, lightning and thunder over the DC area. So the T-Cop is like, and Marvel Crows. Lots of those. You know his fairy game of thrones. Yeah, Karen is warging into a fax machine. She's like, all right, I can see what the faxes are. I'm the three eyed laser disc.

And the scariest white walker of all time, Michael, Ashley Sussman, Michael. So it's one of those openings where it's like, don't, don't, don't! Flashes, flashes, flashes of the trauma. Michael actually says to Michael so it's one of those openings where it's like Flash it flashes flashes of the trauma. Here's a flash of Michael in short overalls from the 90s and Going up to some hot guy going oh look at you. What have you been doing? Working? Yeah, it's like hey I've seen this movie before He's also asking

a question that I think is an appropriate question asked really in any place you go into, which is, where are the men? Where are the men? Where are the men? Is this an honour? Where are the men? I want some honour. Thank you very much, Cole Porter for that one. I did not realize that that was, I was setting you up for a Cole Porter reference. Isn't everything a set up for a Cole Porter reference? So then it's like, dramatic flashes, dramatic flashes. You're a good looking man.

What is that? Oh, your hold is a rocker. Yeah, a rocker's a rock. Yeah, oh, look at that. That's long and thick. I like that. I could feel in my hand. I don't know if I could feel in my mouth. No, that didn't. You didn it's a rope. Yeah. Oh, look at the, it's long and thick. I like that. I could feel in my hand. I don't know if I could feel in my mouth.

No, that didn't. He didn't actually say that, but his microphone had some issues. So I, I'm just gonna imagine that that's what was said. Yeah. And it's like flashes, flashes. And then just Michael flirting with some hot guy to bar. Now, is this new? This is nothing new.

I don't know why they're acting like, oh my god, Michael is flirting with someone's husband in a bar. This is like every episode that Michael's on, everybody calm down. I know. People seem to forget that in season one, he coincidentally showed up in a gay bar. They like caught him in a gay bar by accident. And also that he grabbed Katie's then fiancee's. But so you know, this is nothing new. Yeah. If anything it was a lovely return to form. Yeah, it was a nice circle back to season one. Yeah. So then, ta-ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- And the producers are so mean, like right on the heels of Michael basically hitting on this dude, and I'm like, oh, you wake out a lot. Do you ever go to the show?

Do you ever, you ever swear you'll walk the gym? And then they cut to ash, and being like, he loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not. He was grabbing a man to ask at a bar. He was not grabbing a man to ask at a bar. He was grabbing a man to ask at a bar. He was not grabbed. God, that's long to say.

a man that's at a bar he was not got that's long to say. So these are the Michael loves me flowers. Aw, knock knock. It's your mom in a new fantastic wig. I mean best wig ever Sheila. Sheila's really up to wig game. She brought her season four wig and Sheila shows up and she's all happy. And Michael meanwhile he's exercising on his Peloton, you know, gone again. She's like, you know, got again,

shipe, you know, go to Pristus, go on, so for that. Throughout this scene, they kept cutting Michael, cutting to Michael on that fucking bicycle, and it was hilarious. I mean, they just, they squeezed as many laughs out of that as they could.

It's like, Hey, Mom, how are you? Michael's on a bike. Oh, Mom, everything's going great. Michael has a little lady white on the bike. It was like every two seconds and he's that annoying person who is like he like he dresses up like he's about to go the tour de France Except he's like in his bedroom on a peloton. Yeah Going anywhere. He's sponsored by us. That's possible. Yeah, seriously. He's got like he gave himself a number Yeah Going in and I was like like um no you need to eat some fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy and

I was like man I want to get pregnant. Yeah it's like pregnant in the old days you know it's just so much different I mean I was in the womb getting like Benson and Hedges in the placenta and that was fine. Well it tasted great Yeah, she's like tap water effects pregnancy, which is only hilarious because She's like drinks like a fish the rest of the episode. Yeah, exactly Yeah, I love I love the like non-self-aware drinking that happens on Potomac I mean really Monique set up like set a very high bar last season No pun intended and looks like Ashley's like you know what I'm gonna do it too Yeah, Ashley's kind of falling down the season and I like it.

It's her turn to fall. It is her turn. Yeah. So, um, so the big news is that her uncle lump, uh, he is in remission from cancer. He's got a birthday coming up. And you may remember Uncle lump from last season because he's the guy who basically raised Ashley, who stepped in as like the father figure. So she wants to throw a big birthday party because she loves them, etc. etc. Yeah, he was the one he told Ashley that Michael's just mean to her because he just wanted to trophy wife. He'll fuck him. Yeah, exactly. And so Ashley's a little nervous because this will be the first time that Michael and Lump will be in the same room since all that all all happened and you know, Ashley just wants like a big happy family.

Yeah, so Michael comes out he's like just finish that's right cheering cheering all right cheering taking a trophy and hello sheeler. Welcome to my house. Yeah, and they have a big hug and Ashley starts to cry because it's been a while since they've like had like happiness between the two of them, which was nice. But then Michael's talking and he's doing curls with his cord, he has those elastic cords. And I was like, oh, he is that person that does curls while you're happy

at conversation in the living room. I put him away, leaving with the peloton. Yeah, he's just kind of red faced and cross-eyed and sweaty, it's just not working, Michael. He's basically using this show as his grinder. You know it's like look at me working out now I'm working out with rubber bands as I say hello to my mother-in-law because it's really manic because we haven't even relationship as you can obviously tell. So I'm working out for my mother-in-law he does see it. I got a pretty good board that's what I gotta say I mean obviously I've got a

good board because look at me shredding shredding with this rubber band. I can really do it, you know. I mean, I'm a pretty good looking guy, but you're a pretty good looking guy too. An honest person on the internet. Yeah, his grander profile is like, I'm a pretty good looking goalie. If I do say so, say it in the cell. So then we get the typical, like, Karen music music because she has the most fabulous music out of all of that. So we get this fabulous like I just come for all the whole thing Yeah, the car door opens like a cool to choose a Clemmer scene other than my head Yeah, they go to a tombstone show.

I wrote to the same thing. It was like Karen, you know, and they show her like the the Potomac background, like, you know, swirling her dress around and smiling. Like, yes, I am here on the red carpet. Yeah, I'd like to get a tombstone, please. Yes. So they go in to talk about tombstones, which is, I mean,

sad, but also like, I thought we had to see I get some frozen pizzas. Is, are you holding a press conference here? Because otherwise, like, it's hard for me to get into this. Okay. Yeah. I was like, okay, I guess we'll watch. This is, this is a great way to start up the show, Karen getting to the stones. And it's, it's so sad. It's such a sad reason that she's there, but she's so care-in while she's in there. Because the guy is, of course, immediately trying to upsell her. He's like, well, this one is electronic.

You'll miss your mother up to the heavens. And she's like, actually, my mother is more traditional. So we'll go with the light gray. It's like the sad little light gray one. I'm like, you're cheap. Do you have any? We're going to go to the discount head toemstone. I know. Give any of those tires that you put a cat on and it sings

memories as it goes off to the skies. No. Okay, we'll take that cheap one. Gizabel, uh, bless her heart. So then they talk about like, Hey, you know, the guy's like, well, you know, if you buy three, you get a discount and, you know, praises old as your dad's like, there's a two year like, well, you know, if you buy three, you get a discount and, you know, praises old as your dad. She's like, there's a dude in different town, there you go. Yeah. And then she starts to see the, he starts doing the fonts and she gets sad. I'm

like, I was sad. I like, I feel like there's probably a lot I could make fun of in the scene. But I also feel like I probably should just like tiptoe quietly away from it and like you know You know Dan and yogurt or something Well, I did like that the headstone guy or the tombstone guys like hey, I've been I've already started the design I was like wow you picked a font. I know. I know I wrote a name down in font good. Yeah, congratulations on watching that five minute YouTube tutorial on graphic design Congratulations on watching that five minute YouTube tutorial on graphic design. He's also got really good makeup. Yeah, he's just watching really good tutorials on YouTube. Yeah. Yeah. I think that they should just be so lucky.

He did not like choose like the impact font. Okay, because you know, that's what it was like a meme font originally. She's like, Angela, the Angela font. Comic Sans. Angela the Angela front Comic-sans So then jacelle arriving at her therapist. Yes, so she jacelle goes meets with her therapist and she's telling him about Sherman having ditched her two hours before Candace's wedding because this is the therapist they actually do a couple therapy with and she's like Yeah, so he ditched me and now I'm terminating Sherman.

And the therapist is like, really? But where did your emotions go? And she's like, I don't know. I mean, he's sent me up. So I'm gonna terminate him. And he's like, he's like, but like, why do you cut people off so easily? She's like, I mean, he stood me up.

I'm like, I kind of am like with Jazell on this one. Like, I don't know what this therapist was getting out here. Well, she's like, oh, I cut everybody off. Is that bad? Does she add some information here? I don't think she told us last time, which is typical Jazell, but she's like, oh, let me catch you up.

So from the last session, you know, when I was here with Sherman, we talked about him taking me to a wedding and, you know, he had hesitations and reservations and, but, you know, eventually he was cool with it. Oh, so he didn't want to go in the first place. So this has always been a problem. And you were just trying to make him go to this wedding. Perhaps, but like he's had hesitations and reservations this entire time. And like I think it's, I don't think it's like fair that he, like if he says yes he's gonna do something he should then follow through. I think he was like I'm not gonna be bossed around.

Well then that's why they shouldn't be together. I mean look, you know what, like even if I fully see Sherman Sherman side that's fine But they shouldn't be together and I'd seem weird to me that this doctor was like, but where did you put all those emotions? It's like not well she put this She put them in the whiskey as she said. Yeah, but one minute she comes in like oh my god We're so in love everything's great and then she's like he's dead to me So he's like well, we're if one minute you're in love did those did that love just evaporate He goes how many times have you done this?

She goes, all the time, what's that about? Every single person, I mean, he's right. Where do those emotions go? But I'm like, you know what, she's on reality TV. She just can redirect them into creating hell for her co-stars. And that's fine with me. I mean, I'm sitting here waiting.

Right, she's learned to use her soci path nature in a positive way to entertain us Exactly and in fact the the therapist even says like you know when you're emotionally connected you wind up taking it out on other people I was like Jezel are Jezel would do that I know I like when he listed he's like you can take it out on other people your kids your parents Karen your kids, your parents, Karen, I don't know why we have a camera around them. Yeah. So then not getting it all, she goes, well, I will be more conscious of being more aware of my emotions,

of which I have now. Yeah. So then we go over to Candace and Chris, who are basking in the glow of having a wedding that was paid for by her mom. And it's been three days and- That allowance glow, you know, that special glow you get on Saturday morning right after you get that $5 from your dad.

Yeah, it's like they basically found a whole bunch of teeth and put it onto their pillow. So they're like- Not a- Chris's Exactly so no they actually probably found one tooth from Chris Chris Samuel is just like a giant tooth like a novelty size one but like yeah, it's like shit This one's worth a thousand dollars right here. So I board just we got a snowboard for our wedding Okay, this copy is kicking in, come doing like fantasy, like fantasy fiction on Chris' giant tooth.

So, they're not on their honeymoon because they decide to save it for later and Chris is like, man, I mean, I am so exhausted from this wedding. If we went on a honeymoon, I'd be so tired. I'd just be lying around. And he can't just like, um, that's what honeymoon is for.

He goes, yeah, but who's paying for that for me to lie around? He's like, okay, so you guys, that's what it is. They just don't want to spend any money going on honeymoon. Yeah, you have to pay for one thing in your wedding. God forbid, okay. And he's like, well, she goes, but I don't want you to go to work and leave me alone.

He's like, well, someone's got to work. She's, what does that mean? Okay. I mean, well, work is this concept where you go and you do something and get you earn money, usually by providing a service for someone. And can this is already bitching about her mom again. She's like, well, my wedding is over. So my mother is back home. She's

best in small doses, Dorothy and doses. That's going to be my new. But like, you know what but can you wait at least an extra episode to start pitching about your mother again? Yeah, or Jesus Christ. Wait for the checks to clear. Exactly, and like we see that you're trying to create a backdoor pilot for your new podcasts and we do not approve. We will listen to Kim Zolsey's podcast first. Yeah, Dorothy and Doses, that's a podcast. For who? For whom?

See, I corrected myself. Hmm. So Candice gets a Nutri-Bullet and she's like, this is mine. You can have the old one. I was like, this marriage is really gonna last a nice long time. Are you telling me that this bitch already had a Nutri-Bullet and she registered for a new one? Like, and you're wondering- I'm gonna blow it up, grade.

How about you, Crate? What do they call it? A honey fund? Like, why don't you like ask people to pay for a honeymoon for you for crying out loud You got like a duplicate new trip bullet. Oh my god. This is the grandum of commercial breaks time to take one Security security Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying

any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. Yeah, so she's like, well my mom was okay at the wedding. She was on her best behavior. It was like, God, can we not talk about your mother for five minutes? Get a life. I'm sick of you. I know. Can you like get, as Jill Zaron once said, get a hobby. Or maybe Bethany said that to Jill Zaron. Someone said it in New York once, many years ago. And this woman needs a hobby. Like macrame, ma zhong, job, get a job, racquetball, get a dry boober, get a job, get a job, get a job, get a job.

Yeah, insurance, insurance, cotto insurance is probably hiring people. Yeah, so I'm pretty much done with her solo scenes. I can't, I can't. Yeah, so next up is deer running. Oh my god, favorite character. It was two deers. Is it deer or deers? I feel like a deer. Deer. Yeah. So they're two deer that were running along. And I just loved how excited they were. They were like, Oh my god. We're on TV. It's our big moment.

Yeah. So we're with Monique and Chris and they're with their kids taking care of all their kids and their daughters on their lap and she's like excuse me. I thought it Which I think that's that's my favorite thing in the show so far. Yeah, that's also something that actually will often say to Michael and bed Excuse me. I thought it So Candace is like well, I mean Mon, Monika's like, this pregnancy is totally different because I'm older. You know, I just don't know how these women do this all across the country, the world. They have these babies without help. I mean, who does this?

Who would live like this? Hmm, I can tell you who doesn't. Not lazy moms. I know. Well, way to escape your branding. Yeah, exactly. And I'm not calling her lazy. I'm just saying I think her branding. I'm still mad at her branding. Her branding of the mom with like all the eight arms behind her coming out or just like from Annie's. Yeah. On Annie. Exactly. So she's saying, you know, she's, she's a little older. It's just a little

harder. And of course, Chris is like, well, I want six more. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Well, maybe we can have an oops baby for the forest She's like no you're getting a snap. He's like, oh good luck with that my tubes are stick as a no tree They need a chainsaw. I know So then we go over to just out arriving at a restaurant called medium rare What an interesting name Medium rare future is now Who named that stupid restaurant whoever named that stupid restaurant? Who ever named that medium rare?

Please I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That's just like I Just feel like we could do better as like we deserve better names from restaurants. Yeah Bloody bloody dead Just just I don't know like Maybe warm center or warm pink center. I don't know know, that feels a little gross, but you know... Room temperature. I don't know, medium rare, I just think we could do better. I feel like, I mean, Qdoba is a more interesting name, okay, and it's like therapy has allowed me to think about my relationship

with people that are no longer in my life and I don't know why. And so we're wondering who's going to come meet her, right? I'm thinking it's Karen, like she's going to have lunch with Karen and Apollo. Or maybe Shree's. Shasha, Shasha. Tha-tha. If that upon. Or maybe Shree's... Shasha, Nata. Tha-tha? If that a pun?

She arrives on, like, instead of a hoverboard, she has like one of those single wheel things that you balance on, one of those new ones. Oh yeah, those stupid things. It's like, that's the odd reincarnation of a unicycle. Yeah, with a fidget spinner. Hello. Thank you for calling me.

This is my youth. How many times do you think Shasha has fallen off of a bird scooter? Just ballpark estimates. I know. She's like every bad review on bird scooter and lime scooter. Yeah, she's definitely falling off. But instead of Shasha or Karen, it's none other than season one, Katie. Katie. How's she gonna try to give her like an adjective?

Try to give her an adjective, but really she requires no adjective. It's just Katie. Well, it was weird because now they're describing there's a cookie. Katie, she was just so cookie. She really wasn't. I mean, Katie was like a little socialite

who wanted desperately to get married and was trying to make it happen with this guy who obviously was never gonna marry her I mean she had that storyline going on But Katie's really gone through some crazy Transformations in the past few years and they're not necessarily the funniest kind and I'm calling it out right now You should not be bringing Katie on this show. I know the producers have Instagram and have seen her most likely allegedly drug fueled breakdowns and all the shit going on with, I mean, it's just dark. It's very, very dark. No, I support it. So the thing is, I'm fine with it, whatever. So, yeah, Katie, you're right. She, her season, season. She started off her season as sort of almost like Candace, right? She was

She was like a socialite. Well, that's not like Candace, but she was an actual socialite and who just had these like She was sort of spoiled, lived in her own world and it was hilarious how kind of Deluded she was, but she did start to get a little crazier. And then I seemed to remember in the reunion, she was really off her rocker. And then since then, she's been really bonkers.

So, I was very happy to see her back. I don't remember, I seem to remember that I, I think I disliked Katie her season. And I think I got a lot of flag for that. I think people really liked her a lot. I was team Katie, because she was going against Robin and Jacelle. Yeah, and I was team Jacelle, and I remember people were liked her a lot. I was team Katie, because she was going against Robin and Jazelle. Yeah, and I was team Jazelle,

and I remember people were really angry at me. But now I was really happy to see Katie back. You know, I'm also a pushover. Whenever housewives pull this sort of stunt, they find someone from three years ago, I'm like, oh my God, I miss that person. Yeah, I've been the stilte of it all. And I mean, she shows up, you know,

with a scarf in her hair, looking like she's sort of in like a folk band slash, Renaissance fair, slash, pottery studio, troop. Yeah, some sort of, you know. That girl does hot yoga and then just puts on like rock deodorant after and she's like, I don't even smell. Isn't this amazing?

And everyone else is like, you totally smell. Please stick. Yeah. And she's like, hey, and just just I was like what's going on with the scar she's like well I'm celebrating Indian Independence Day and she's like huh, she's like I just made that up I'm just like Jesus Christ I think I'm starting with too big of a mask here She's like I'm ready to shut her out again. Yeah So she's trying to talk to Katie, but Katie's so crazy.

Katie's like so out of it. And then we see clips of why they hated each other and fighting. And Chisel, we just see the clip of Chisel going, you act like it's a problem to be black and Katie goes, you're a stupid woman who says stupid thing. And that's like, okay, yeah, welcome back. I just remind. I forgot about that quote that is a great quote. It is hilarious that she said that. And then she's out goes oh really well don't you remember our promo shoot when you showed up drunk and peed on the couch. So then it comes back to to sell she's like I want to have fun with her

again. I was like you never had fun with her. It's like literally not even once. I know, they try to show montage of their happy times. It was like the three times in season one where they got along for three seconds. So Kayleys like, wow, you're always so put together. Hair nails. It's my hair scarf creeping back. I mean, it is dramatic though, right?

Tissel's like, Jesus pray for me. You don't even pin that thing on. nails is my hair scarf creeping back. I mean it is dramatic though right? Just else like Jesus pray for me. He didn't even pin that thing on. I'm gonna have to watch you adjust it all lunch long. So then Katie updates her. She's like, well I'm a mess. I live with a 27 year old boyfriend and you know I mean he doesn't really pray for me. But does he have a job? And she's like, well I mean he contributes but like he doesn't pay my bills if that's what you're asking. She's like, but he has more clothes than I do. I'm very fast and I want to see this boyfriend does really badly. Oh, I'm just cringing on my end of the TV. Yeah. Oh, no, go home to your children. So,

yeah. So either way, Jorzel invites Katie to Uncle Lumps birthday party. So Katie is going to be hopefully worked into the season, you know, she's being dragged into a social event. So hopefully this is going to be the first of many Katie episodes. Yes, and here's first of many, it's not really the first, it's in a long line of many episodes of Robin trying to figure out how to flip a house. First, choose a house with potential, Robin. I mean, that thing, that brick box that she bought.

Listen, I mean, it looks hideous. It is, I mean, we knew last season when she found this house, we were like, okay, this thing, this thing is horrific, okay? And now she's like, well, you know, we thought we had four to five months flipping now or into a month eight. It's like, yeah, no shit Sherlock. Did you remember from last season? It like didn't have floors, it didn't have,

it was like, it wasn't just like a family raccoons in there. It was like a full on community, okay? It was like raccoons and possums. I think there were some dead birds in there. There may have been a hobo. I'm not sure. And you thought I was going to take four months to flip that thing? Come on. Yeah, and there's just one guy working in there. He's like, hi. So she brings one. This is one's first time. And he's like, what is up with this yard? I'm just like, yeah, I guess we should cut the grass and go, you better do better than, he goes, you got to do better than this Robin. And And she's like, yeah, I guess we should cut the grass and she goes, you better do better than, he goes, you gotta do better than this Robin.

And then he's like, wow, so you call this a ton of progress and she's like, we didn't see him before. And he's like, yeah, it must have been hell in here. Oh, so you must be Jose. Where's the floor? And she's like, but it's only cosmetic stuff, one. He's like, do I need a hard hat Jose? Is there gonna be a toilet in here? What is this? He's like, ew I need a hard hat, Jose? Is there gonna be a toilet in here?

What is this? He's like, ew, nails on the floor. I mean, I understood why Juan was like totally disgusted by it all, but he was also being a little unreasonable, considering he hadn't been there the entire time. But, he's like, is there gonna be a toilet? And she's like, uh, yeah, that's why there's a round hole on the floor. Stupid. You dumbass.

What do you think we make people pee in the floor? It's like, well, it's what you do at home. So I mean, I don't know, like, I feel like she has to change the facade. I feel like that brick, it just looks like this, like a crappy, a crappy old, I just can't, I just can't imagine. I don't know.

Well, so at the very least, she's gonna need to press pressure wash it, but that's like the least of her problems right now I'm like morbidly fascinated to see how this flip is gonna go. Yeah, I have a feeling. It's not gonna go well Yeah, it's been a long time already So Candace goes over to Oz and Which is not fair because I think that they're just you know opening it's like before they open. Yeah. Yeah, I can't believe that's open. It's been still open either. Like I'm shocked. It has terrible yelp reviews and it's been like four years. I don't know how it's open, but it somehow is. And they sort of can't care who which is wrong. canty. Sorry, it's just wrong, canty. So can't this comes up for lunch,

and this is like the biciest little lunch ever. These two hate each other's guts, but they both have to shoot with somebody and never with sick of shooting with them. So there we go. Yeah, so they sit down and of course, like Ashley's spending the entire time quietly promoting the food.

She's like, oh, here's our cheese platter Which looks like barely better than something you'd get at Ralph's from their Cheese section. Yeah, and she's like it's really good to have some time with you and Candice. It's like yeah I mean we were both in Patience and so it's really good time. It's good to have some private time with the cute girls Like, you know, you're as bad as Michael. Yeah. I'm a good looking girl. So they.

So are you. So they have some really generic pattern about the wedding, where Ashy says that the wedding was beautiful. And Candace is like, thanks. I just didn't want to have any drama there. And then Ashy's like, well, you may want. You may be should have like reconsidered

the seating arrangement. They're like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, we hate each other. Yeah, I mean, Ashly tells us, we're not, we're from, not quite friends. So the fact that she's taking the time to check on me, I appreciate that, Fra. And then Ashly starts talking about, you know, her quest to have a child and she's like, yeah, I've given up drinking as she literally reaches for a corona. I mean, I was like, yeah, even Candace noticed that. Candace was able to stop thinking about herself for one second to notice the craziness happening

in front of her. Yeah, she's like, ma'am, are we having a baby or are we having a corona? I'm confused. Yeah. I then see thanks babe. Love you babe. Great babe. Good to see you babe. Yeah, then the scene just sort of ends. The producers are like, you know what? This is a bad idea. We should have done. You know, it is a good idea. Uh, trying to make us believe that Karen really lived from that house. I love that this is still continuing. So Karen's walking around this house with Sage and it's her fabulous horns and she's like, bless it, heavenly Father, keep all evil spirits

out of this house. Jesus name we pray. Oh God, the Sage went out because I said to yourself. So then she's all comes up to the door and she's like, now what? Just check that, that opened the door and let me in. That's all I know. Yeah. And so Karen does. And then she starts sagging, Jazelle. And she sounds like, are you really sagging me? Yeah. Right now what?

Yeah. I'm very much so. In the name of Jesus. And so Jazelle's like, whoa, I can't believe you actually let me in here. And then she tells us she's saying me. Did she say her weaves? No.

Should she? Probably. So it's her Karen's like, it's a risk I'm taking. Lowing a cell back into my house. I mean, she's acting like she's like allowing us some of them in into the Pentagon or something. Yeah. She's like, I'm gonna cover her with the blood of Jesus. And I'm going to savveter and bind her up

or save her and bind her up. So she behaves. That auto corrected the savage. We come on, Siri. Don't you know what say this? So Jacelle's looking around. She goes, okay. And Karen just goes, oh Juzelle, shut up.

Yeah, and she's not, Karen's, Juzelle's knocking on the tiles and Karen's like, oh, you trying to save that three oh. And Juzelle tells us, well, the old Karen would have been showing me every nook and cranny of this house and she'll only show me two rooms. Yeah, Karen goes, oh, shut up. You only get two rooms at a time. So, you're asked out. I love that, you only get two rooms at a time. So dress out.

I love that, Karen. It's only allowing two rooms to, just sells on like a tour diet of some sort. But just sell, of course, it sees right through it, she's like, I mean, Karen, she, well, she tells us, she's like, I mean, Karen, you don't live in this house. You live in part of this house. You live in this house.

You live in the basement. Yeah, just say that. So then they start, I love that Jacelle. It's like all I'm trying to do is be a better person and then comes in and immediately start slamming Karen left and right. Yeah, exactly. And so she comes in and Karen's like, you know what I'm behavior, hmm?

It was debatable, hmm. Broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, broom, like blinking her eyes at her. And she's like deplorable, okay. And then we see Juzel's behavior, which is accusing her husband of cheating with Erica Lyles and mine get about her house and the press conference.

You know, we press conference. Yeah. And Juzel's like, but did you miss me? I was like, oh, security, security. Let's get this woman out of here. It's like, well, here's the thing, Giselle. When you were hugging me, I had the reunion. I was so deep in grief, I didn't even know it was you.

She's like, really? Really Karen, really? She goes, well, I realize that I'm not, what's that word? Compassionate. She's like, oh, yes, we know that. Yeah. Yeah, Giselle's like, yes, we know that. Yeah. Yeah, Jazzell is like, she's, Jazzell starts applauding herself for working on her compassion, for being slightly more compassionate, but I'm like, I'm not sure we see any indication that you have any compassion to begin with.

So then Karen's like, so, um, there'll be good for you. Is it about Sherman? And she's like, um, I don't think I should be talking to you about Sherman because you are friends with the sex. Yeah. And she's like, but I'm asking about you though only because I care about you. And then we cut to her going, but tell me, it gives a small community. And I'm not surprised they're not together. Nobody is surprised they're not together. I think... When I received the facts that Sherman was with another woman, I was like, mmm, of course he is, of course he is. I went immediately to my tube TV and turned on to see if there was any updates on the local news, but didn't see any.

I'm going to produce just like who told you that Sherman's cheating? And she's like, people tell me things. I shot at the same place as Shermanermy shops and the bigly wiggly Yeah, five in dime, you know, hey, let's use So it wasn't just out with them at the hippity hot pop. I'll tell you that much. We good. We good So yeah, so Karen then they start they had this like moment where she carons like well I'd rather Ender friendship than be fake friends and Jacelle's like we'll have about this Why don't we tell each other secrets and then that will force us to like not be bad friends until if one of us

Tells another secret who tells yeah, then we'll know what's up So Jacelle's Jacelle is has her big secret first. She's like I Use her removal cream on my bad job down there because lasering these me bumps Like that's her big secret Yeah, and Karen's is the ever since she got her implants out She has to sleep with the bra because otherwise her boobs are under her armpits. Yeah she goes they go east and west. Like thanks for a knowledge that we already knew from both of you. Okay.

Saving gives you razor bumps and floppy boobs going to your armpits. Okay. We all knew all of this stuff but whatever you guys need to shoot together again because you're killing me so far Yes, so now it's finally time for Uncle Lumps party and Michael is dressed as the freshman sub of Bel Air and as she is DJ jazzy Jeff I mean, I think like maybe I would have gone with like a vanilla ice or maybe snow I'm just not sure I would have gone with like DJ DJ jazzy Jeff, but you know what though? I have to applaud that he did not use black face because honestly, oh my God, if there's anyone who probably would have been tone deaf enough to do that,

it would have been Michael. Yeah, he's got enough red face going on. He's just confusing everybody. Yeah, he's very, very confusing. And then just like, okay, so first we've got the brown dick quoting R&B songs for his wedding vows And then we get crocodile dundee being the fresh prince of L.A.R. Okay? Wow.

She's like these white husbands are going through an identity crisis, I think. Just let them be themselves and I don't even know what that is. So, yeah, maybe it's better. Maybe it's better they're doing it this way. Yeah, when they're trying to be themselves, you don't like that either. And you know, the self that Michael is is grabbing bets. Yeah. So I'll say that. So then Mike goes over to Uncle Lump and he's like,

Oh, good man. Happy birthday. Glad to have a party for you because Sansons of dollars. We'll talk about that other stuff later. But not now. It's your night right now. Uncle Lump. Yeah, Uncle Lump. And you can just of course, it being super annoying. She's like, there is something to be said about going out with your husband, as opposed to your boyfriend or your fiance.

Okay, Candice, like how about you go out with your husband to like a room and lock yourself in it and don't come out for a few more hours, okay? Because we don't need to hear this right now. And so, Jizelle asks if they banged on their wedding night and she's like, oh no, just in the morning. And like, he likes to just push me over, stick it in and be done with it. I mean, he gets it over with real quick. It's great. So then, so Monique and Karen are not coming because they're like, why? Why?

And then Robin shows up and, and Michael's like, oh, Robin, we're the men. We're, she didn't bring one. She didn't bring one. And Chris is like, yeah, I guess not. I guess my brown dick isn't good enough for you, Michael. It's not, it's not, it's not like a warm dick. Love me a warm dick. Haha.

Gross. So then the girls I'll sit down and Ashley orders a round of lemon cello shots. You know, the great for agility. So she's like, cheers to journey some explanations. I'm just going to say a few words. I can't get too drunk. Rob is like, who are you pregnant? And then Candace is of course counting the drinks of which there are many, I'm sure. Yes, exactly.

And then, and then, just else warning everyone that Katie's going to be coming and then Sheila shows up. It's sort of like just a lot of just sort of like people arriving at the party, hugs, things like that. Yeah, so then Katie comes and everyone hugs her like, OK, I don't know how you got hired back on this show, but whatever, Robins are clear. And Katie goes, oh, yeah, your hair is short. Mm-hmm.

So Candace, I heard you got married. Oh, yeah, four days ago. I wish I had met you five days ago, because I would have given you a warning. Don't do it! And it's like, don't do it! And by the way, even before Katie said that, like the moment Katie walked in, Candace was giving Katie this look, like, gimme baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa the nastiest look. And in fact, when Katie said, I heard you just got married, how's it going? Candace is like, I did! And then she like holds up her ring. So obnoxious. So gross. So annoying. Oh my god, she's the worst. So I love that Katie shaded her. Yeah, that was a big cliffhanger. So silly. So then they come back and she's like, well, you just said that right in front of her husband. He's this guy. And Candice is like, oh, so that's how we're doing it.

That's how we're gonna do it. And Candice is like, oh, God, I didn't mean it towards you. I just mean marriage is tough. I still want it desperately. Can't wait to do it. If you know anybody, send them my way. Okay. Great. I mean, I'm sure it won't be rough for you to write. I mean, I'm sure you're the first person that he's he's he's falling in love with, right? You don't't be rough for you to, right? I mean, I'm sure you're the first person that he's falling in love with, right? You don't have any kids with other women, right? And it's, oh, two kids with two different, okay.

Well, good luck with that, Candace. Bye. So then Katie tells them that she got a refund check from a hair box, she didn't like? I was so confused. She said she got $35,000 for a hair box from 2002. I think she said hair box. I don't know what it was. I am this maybe it was like a modeling gig or I don't know what would give her $35,000 from 2002. Oh, I thought it was a hair. I thought it was $3,500.

I see that's what I thought at first and then I went back and I could have sworn she said $35,000. Oh, I don't know. $3,500 makes more sense because I just can't imagine Katie doing anything in 2002 that would suddenly net her $35,000 in 2019. Yeah. We're up for it really. Yeah, like what? I don't get it. And she says, well, I got this check and I signed it and my mother immediately took it from me and they all crack up because they were all making fun of her They used to make fun of her for living off of her mother and then canvass is like oh, oh, I totally get it I owe my mom all day. I mean better the whales Fargo. Okay, and they're like yeah

Girls who live off their moms unite. Yeah, exactly and then then Kady starts making jokes about how she's going to have to split her inheritance with her sibling. She's like, how many siblings do you have in Kady's? It's just me. She's like, oh my god, I'm so jealous. And they're all like, because she doesn't have to split her inheritance in shallow bitch. So I'm also the time with your parents.

Yeah, yeah. That's a lot of time. Like sometimes when you make waffles, you have to make waffles for all your brothers and sisters, and now you can only have the waffles for yourself. It's nice. That's what I meant. Yeah, and then the spirit of Vicki takes over to Zelle, and she's like, get a chat. Get a chat. Get a chat. So meanwhile, while this is happening, Michael has now been wandering around the party, getting drunk and horny, and he goes up to this one guy who we saw right in the beginning and he's he just goes up this guy's like hey you been making that? The guy's like

yeah yeah that's good that's good he's like yeah it's like oh yeah yeah you're looking good you're looking real good oh wow you fucking had his Iraq I was expecting a little bit of jelly but wow wow let me let me touch there whoa this is really good good. Yeah, I mean, I know I'm good looking, but you're a good looking man. He brought. When he said I know I'm good looking. I was cracking up. My God. Is that your game? Jesus Christ. And if that works, that's fucked up. That's like so wrong that Michael has game like that then. Oh, creepy. I know. It's like he's just waiting for the guy to say you're good looking too. And he doesn't. So he's like, well, I know I'm good looking too. So,

there you go. Have to say, say some words. There you go. You can pay it back with a little kiss. I'll say my penis. I mean, yes, how does it rock? I mean, why don't you feel me right here? I feel like I feel like what do you think about Manchester? I don't feel much just right now. No, no. Okay, I'll come back in a few, three hours. See how you do. want to feel much just right now. No, no, no. Okay, I'll come back in a few, three hours. See how you do. I feel more like a sea horse that you pour in the water and watch them grow with us. Sea monkeys. I'm not. I mean, I'm not a share why. Yeah, the little seahorse things. I still love this. So then let's see. So then Ashley's like, okay, Michael's paying for this party. So we're gonna listen to my song again. Oh, and they're all listening to coffee and love and just like, coffee and love. I love you, Michael. Yeah, that's a mess. It's a mess.

So then Michael and Ashley are all over each other making out, you know, just approved everybody how much in love they are and it's like four hours later Yeah, and she's also simultaneously saying I feel like we're finally gonna have the family unit We've always wanted and it's like four hours later Yeah, and then Robin is taking cell phone video all over the place and she's telling us Today was one for the books like we're party until 2, 3, 4 in the morning and I remember bits and pieces of it and we see footage of everybody being like I don't have you I wasted yeah and then Michael is like next to

Robin one of the videos he's like oh yeah you know I know I'm a good looking guy but even a good looking guy has got to say one's a great looking guy gotta say I love Robbins man I love one he's my bro he's my bro I wish I wish we're in the gym together taking showers talking about how much book bro's and just be like you got pretty good body bro and I'll be like you got pretty good body cheap bra. You know I'm saying bra He's a cook really love one on suck is dick and then Robin's like whoa, I mean, I know it was fun I remember that but I think I remember out of Michael's mouth Then we hear it again all suck his dick and she's like I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear that I'm like yeah Right Robin have you ever done that in your entire life? And why shit do you, this is amazing.

And Michael goes up to a producer and he goes, Hey, listen, I know I'm a good looking guy, but I don't think my mic was working. And the producer's like, well, I didn't hear anything. You see, he's like, I didn't hear anything. And Michael's like, good, because I might have said some things I regret. Like I might have started a sentence without saying,

I know I'm a good looking guy, but and you know Michael's not even referring to, I would suck his deck. He's probably thinking like, well I offered to pay for this entire party, not send a glub a check. I want to make sure that that's not on there. I mean I know I'm a good looking guy, but I'm not a cheap guy too. You know what I'm saying? I- oh, I'm a little cheap. I'm a little cheap. A little cheap.

Tiny bit. So there we go, everybody. The ending of Real Housewives of Potentic for the week. Don't worry, it's not a game of thrones situation. Where's Old Dunfrurva? I know. Next week we'll get to see how I guess maybe what if there'll be any fallout from Michael's Exciting night. Yeah, by that with Michael.

And by that. Everybody, thanks so much for being here. Good, get all your t-shirts and everything your tickets for upcoming live shows, go over to watch at crappens.com. And until then, we'll talk to you later. Bye, everyone. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to watch our crappens at free on Amazon music. We'll talk to you later. Bye, everyone. Bye. slash survey.