Watch What Crappens - RHOP: It's Not Delivery, It's Di-Robyn-o

Episode Date: July 31, 2018

The ladies of "Real Housewives of Potomac" are back from France, which means it's time to get back to what they do best: harping on Karen's living situation. Does she live in her house? Or is... she slumming it in a townhome? There's only way to get to the bottom of it: deliver some shady pizza. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:00:20 Watch what crap-ins would like to think it's premium sponsors! Christy Wowardity, dowity! Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Langenberg, you can't have a burger without the burger! Just saying, okay! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Ain't no thing like Allison King! Back in the Slayertailer!
Starting point is 00:00:42 Anna, God, I love that banana Anderson! Susie, going to the Tobin! Hava, Nagila Weber! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! And our super premium Patreon subscribers, Kelly Grant, the Grant Master! Give them hell! Miss Noel!
Starting point is 00:01:00 The incredible, edible Matthews sisters! And Lizzie Drucker a fun mother I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world, I've been watching crap in this world a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me on this wonderful Monday at the end of this Hectic Hectic July for us is the one and only. My favorite work has been Ronnie Karim, who's also on Roseprix Bachelor Rose podcast. What's up Ronnie? Oh, hello! Happy Monday, Saka. Happy Monday. We just got back from a truly excellent memorable, like,
Starting point is 00:02:12 career defining Ben Schmarki. Weekend. The Lord. Well, fellow, I'm just like, I'm riding high at just for laughs. And it was so fun. And we, we're a record. We recorded a bonus episode this week for Patreon talking all about it and we went on for so long we're actually going to do the first half is going to be this week and the second half will be next week so
Starting point is 00:02:35 that'll be up either today or tomorrow you should really listen because it was really amazing and like the weekend meant a lot to it and I'm I'm full like the warm fuzzies right now after talking about it for so long I I'm like, oh my god, I can't believe we got to do that. So that was super, super awesome. So thank you everyone who came to our show in Montreal. We have, we're going to two cities in August, later in the month, and later in August, we are going to West Palm Beach, which I believe it goes. We're going to West Palm Beach.
Starting point is 00:03:02 The Palm Beach Improv. That's where they might have a jazz singer Who might inspire you to go upstairs and get a little frisky and go to the wrong hotel room? So we're going there and then two days later we have two shows in Atlanta the first show sold out Sorry, but the second show still has tickets so go to that and then in September we're going to Denver to the Denver improv So all that stuff is at watchwarecrapins.com. And by the way, I want to give a personal shout out. Thank you to Kellyanne Mary, two of our listeners from
Starting point is 00:03:32 my, at least sent me a cookbooks. And I want to say thank you. That was so sweet. Oh, right on. Yeah, thank you. And also thank you to Sophia over at just for last and that whole festival and I'm add to our booker. We'd love you guys. Thanks for all you guys do for us. And today we have the real housewives of Potomac.
Starting point is 00:03:48 Now Ben is about to go on an amazing Italian cruise. So he will not be here for the finale of this, the season finale. So we got Ray Sani, who is a friend and really good commentator. She's from a podcast called Miss Andri and it's with Missandry with Marsha and Ray. So go check that out. She's going to be my co-host next week for that episode. So thanks in advance to you, lady. Ray is great. She's super funny and she will speak her mind. You're going to get an unfilled opinion and that's what the best part about her.
Starting point is 00:04:20 I mean, there are a lot of things that are the best part about Ray, but that's one of the best parts about her in the podcast sphere, I should say That'll be just hard to suck a banana up a straw Sorry, I made a smoothie because you know, I got to get rid of all this crap I've been eating all through July so I've been drinking but Amy and my smoothies Well, good good and smoothies. Well, good, good. Apparently that just not routine.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Apparently that fucking Vitamix isn't really up to the task of frozen bananas. So take that Vitamix. Oh, oh, wait, wait, never mind. I was gonna say something about, I thought I got confused about what day it was. I'm just turned around with all this travel, but either way, any who, Potomac, we're approaching the reproaching the end of the season, things are starting to wind down, but the show is as ridiculous
Starting point is 00:05:11 as ever. It sure is, and it's also doing this thing where it's going to pretend it's the first episode again. Did you notice that? Where did you look at? The whole episode was like, here's this, I guess, because they're getting ready to wrap it up. But it's like, here I am, investing in money with my mother because, you know, after everything one and I have gone through, it'll be amazing to have a- And then Canvas is like, I'm getting married. Marriage you a white man with a dick that's probably black. And then I'm gonna do this. And then Ashley's like, I have Cabo with my mother.
Starting point is 00:05:43 You know, it's like, jeez, guys. We've been watching this for 17 episodes, okay? I don't want to watch it all again. Yeah, I also thought it was strange that Robbins storyline about flipping Basically like a dump a dilapidated house. I'm surprised that construction began here at the penultimate episode of the season I thought it was one of those things where like you would maybe start it at the beginning of the season and we'd see how it ends at the end. I was like, okay, it's just like supposed to be some really low stakes cliffhanger. Like next season we get to see how this hovel turns into a hovel with wafer furniture. Cut with recess lighting. I'm like, that's really going to work. This is like the lamest episode of property Brothers ever. Of course it stars Robin. It's not even a brother.
Starting point is 00:06:25 Yeah. Yeah. Robin, Robbins, they just do big business with her. They just have two Robbins. I'm from Jupiter, Hala. I'm from New York. I never really fit in with myself. Let's do a house together.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Mm. So we open with Robin. We have a lot of work to do everybody's getting ready for the day We find out that Robin spent $28,000 on that house What I'm moving I'm leaving. I'm leaving on a jet plane. Don't know when I'll be back again I'm in yeah, I mean you could have like I I'll be back again. I'm in. Yeah, I mean, you could have, like I think that's like less money than I told you at a camera. You know, she could have bought her car,
Starting point is 00:07:12 but she bought, I did not know there were structures that were cheaper than a camera. That were not just like, not just like one of those hot sea bi of from Home Depot when you put tools in. Yes, Los Angeles is a ridiculous place anyway with the real estate pricing, but I didn't know it was this ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:07:27 I'm out of here. Yeah, $28,000 in Los Angeles will get you like... A membership to Crunch. Yeah. And not even the good membership. Like you still can only go to one Crunch. I know. You can get you have like bad parking.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Yeah, you have like limited classes you can take. You don't get a free tablet. Like, I'm sorry, you'll have to go for the $35,000 membership for the tab one. You only get the towel on Wednesdays. Yeah. So then we skip over to Monique. Monique, yeah, with her brother. And she's like, how was it without mommy in the house? You know, because Monique really does think she's the incredible Hulk for having like a fish tank that's clean. Yeah, and the brother, he basically says like, I guess the daughter put on a shirt backwards and he's like, what sort of fashion is this? And you realize the shirt was backwards?
Starting point is 00:08:19 Which reminded me of being like a little gay boy myself secretly putting on shirts backwards because they sort of look like glasses. We're a 42 year old drunk. me up being like a little gay boy myself secretly pulling on trips backwards because they sort of look like glasses. Or a 42 year old drunk. Or someone who just doesn't understand basic concepts of clothing. And she goes, oh, and they say my job is easy. Yeah, all that learning how to put shirts on the correct way. Yeah, okay. I'll give you that one money.
Starting point is 00:08:43 I'll give you that one. Is there an essential oil for zippers? So lavender, lavender fix it all, fix it all. And then we see Chris and Candice across fit and Candice's like, you need to sweat for this sweating. He's like, on the fuck of this, I can't stand this. Princess Princess, did you call me a princess? So I'm guessing that, oh, she goes,
Starting point is 00:09:01 sweat for this weekend, but don't lose your butt. I guess this is the weekend that they decided that Sherees was no longer going to be a regular housewife because we didn't see any of Sherees. And I know they're pretending like, oh she's just been a friend of this whole time, but that is not the case because she's been in every other episode. Well, it's not okay with this. It was funny that I actually saw Shere's posted something yesterday on Instagram where she was like Today marks the last
Starting point is 00:09:27 Elebrations of my birthday. I won't be celebrating it anymore this year. I was like um How many celebrations would it have and how many did it require? She's like here's who a new beginning and a new fresh start and I'm like, you know what Sheree's no First of all, I feel like you had a big birthday last year You already have fresh start last year. You can't do the fresh start every single year And I have friends who do that like that everything is like New star new beginnings like how many new beginnings do you need you really should only do like once every 10 years? I think it's like when a serial killer finds Jesus like I'm sorry
Starting point is 00:10:00 It's too late for a fresh start now sir. Yeah, exactly like 30 people. Shasha I saw a stopasha post something on Instagram. Oh, yes. Come on. Sorry to one. Sorry to one. One shot. One up your thought.
Starting point is 00:10:15 But with that one uping, there would only be thought instead of Tha Tha. She posted, look, if me Tha Tha, here I'm the set of what's what is happening live. I'm like, you don't even know the name of the show. That's what Tha Tha is. She totally makes it so formal. What's what is happening in our world tonight?
Starting point is 00:10:34 Good night, after me with Andrew Cohen. Tonight on the news is that upon, I'm waiting for the moment that Shasha rolls out of her apartment. I mean, at her house, I should say. I'm waiting for the moment that Shasha rolls out of her apartment. I mean, at her house, I should say. I'm waiting for the moment she rolls out of her house on her hoverboard. She's like, look at me, young and youthful, on my hoverboard. And she rolls out. And then she has, she notices that everyone on the street is on a bird scooter instead.
Starting point is 00:10:57 And it's like, the camera does like a 360 spin around her. It's like, oh my God, no one uses hoverboards anymore. They're all on board scooters. What have I done? We have my beans. It will be another decade before Shereesia is about the bird scooters. Yeah, exactly. So, Jacelle goes to a restaurant called Grillfire, which I thought seemed apt for her. She likes it. I thought it was called girl fire. That's what I wrote. Girl fire. I'm not a bit much. Girl. I'm only a girl power, but I don't think it's time yet. Girl fire. Girl fire. Yeah. Well,
Starting point is 00:11:35 I'm sure some of these girls have had a girl fire their time, but you know, so she meets up with Cal, her, her, her, her hair man. Um, I made some of her first obscene where she's like, I met Cala to my husband. He isn't used to go, and I'm like, we know. Why are you introducing Cal like we never met. I will say this. I feel like I want to have a Cal teeth appreciation moment. His teeth are phenomenal. What phenomenal teeth that guy has how well what is your horse that's what people say to me they're like nice teeth I'm like Jesus I'm fat that's all people are saying to me now nice teeth like my fucking horse like your back and back handed bragging about your teeth Ronnie they're tossing me sugar cues and I'm
Starting point is 00:12:20 literally catching them every time now I'm sick of this he is wonderful teeth I'm sorry he hasn't he's a lovely smile and wonderful teeth and you know I applaud that. What about my heart? Well, you're at grill fire we don't care about the heart. Okay say something because I forgot to turn on my fan and it's killing me. Okay so while you go fanning a fan fan fan so they're talking about how oops oh my god and I just turned on Syria my laptop accident. Syria go away oh my god Siri thought I just said hoops. Oh my god. I just Okay, I'm back kind of go on the go. What was a disaster? It was such a disaster Let me tell you what happened you went away and I was like okay I can talk about this without Ronnie and then I pressed my computer and I turned Siri on Siri is like hello
Starting point is 00:13:02 I'll be your co-host now. What do you want to talk about? And I freaked out. And Siri thought I said, oops, what can I talk about? And I was like, no, Siri, I don't want to, I don't care about hoops. And I spent the entire time talking about what Siri said. And I, I didn't use any time to advance the podcast forward. Well, you're out of channel. I was like, well, if I can't find enough guest house, maybe I'll just try one alone. I've never done that. So it's like, I'll practice. I'm, no, that's not gonna happen. Ever.
Starting point is 00:13:28 I was like, mm, mm, mm, mm. Well, it was just, the only thing was Bueller Barking and the sound of a fan and the screen door opening and closing. Like nothing else will be in the butt. I like it. It's like an old-timey radio show, it's artifacts. Like there's a freaking door.
Starting point is 00:13:44 There's like rain.-timey radio show. It's artifacts. There's like a freaking door. There's like rain. Rapids goes MPR. So yeah, you hear just forks and you're like a bell. Order up. Order up. Yeah, the diner ding. There's always like an NPR thing. They're like here at the Skennoset diner. Voters are largely divided on what they see for the future. And then you're like Anyway, so Giselle basically is talking about Cal. And they've been friends for 20 years. And she's like, you know, even though he messes up my hair, now, and then he's a great friend. And then the editors who are just like
Starting point is 00:14:17 the shadiest editors on Bravo right now, just show Montage all her bad, bad hair. And it's like every reunion, which I don't think her hair's been that bad at every reunion. I mean her hair is worse in this scene than it's been in a long time. Yeah it's not always great. So then Kale's asking her basically if she learned anything in France he's like okay so did you learn what bone swarming? She's like good morning. He's like oh my god this bitch. I'm gonna fuck her hair up again on purpose.
Starting point is 00:14:46 She doesn't even know about swarming. It means good morning. So she goes, the French test comes and she's, this looks great. And then they do like it really intense close up on the French toast. And guess what? It's French toast. I was like, thank you. Is someone new in charge of this show today? I know. By the way, I had some delicious French toast at egg-as-specitation in Montreal, speaking of French things. It was so good. With that Quebec maple syrup,
Starting point is 00:15:14 let me tell you something. Great toast. So she's all good to bring some word on the street back. And she's like, well, I'm great. However, Cal, word on the street is that Miss Karen Hugo doesn't live in the house on the street. She lives on the street on the street. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:15:33 Yeah. I've had enough about your on the streets. Yeah. They're talking about Karen's living situation. They're like, you know, we don't care if she lives in this crappy little townhouse. Just don't lie about it. Don't lie. They're like, yeah, it's like, yeah, just own it.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Just own it. I'm like, I think that's Karen's problem. She can't own it. She can rent it, but she can't own it. Yeah, no kidding. It's like Jennifer convertibles. It's the only person that will really understand Karen at this point.
Starting point is 00:15:56 She's like, how do I support you? If I don't know what to support, top. You are such a monster. I cannot wait to see your version of supporting somebody. I know, I like how Jazeal is turning. Like, she just like, she just wants to get the gossip. She was like, oh my god, a carer in my living
Starting point is 00:16:14 in a tiny house, not a big house. That's what she cares about, but she's wrapping up in a thing of like, I want to support you, you don't have to be alone, no. But you can, I can't help you if you don't tell me, I just want to be your friend, duh. Yeah, I can't help you if you don't tell me. I just want to be your friend, duh. Yeah, I can't help you if I don't know what tenement you live in.
Starting point is 00:16:28 Oh, thanks, Juzal. That's really nice. She's like, what's the size box would you like to live in? I have a refrigerator box, but I also have a giant pillow box. Whatever. What a dick. Okay, so then we go over to Ashley's house
Starting point is 00:16:43 where Geronimo's like play with me play with me And it's like Peter pattern sounds a pitter-pattery little feet and then it cuts it Ashley going It would be nice to come back with a romantic embrace and a rest to the bedroom But I got none of that it's quiet. There's no pitter-patter of feet funny running around I'm like there's literally the pitter-patter of little feet round around true Well the pause not feet is. Yeah. And this one poops outside. Well, and the best and this poor dog, this poor dog lives in terror because she like has this giant suitcase.
Starting point is 00:17:12 It's just like the dog gets up on the bed and she just plops the bag down like on the bed like narrowly missing the dog by like a centimeter runs away. Like, holy shit, she tried to kill me. Poor Geronimo. You know it's not going to end well when Well, poor Geronimo, you know it's not gonna end well when your name is Geronimo. No, no. And you live on the top floor of a building. So yeah, so she's sad.
Starting point is 00:17:35 She's like, it's so sad. It's like, you know, Michael didn't, I'm not here, Michael's not embracing me. It's just a quiet quiet place. It's not a warm home. I'm like, are you just not realizing? I love like Ash is very slow, Epiph just a quiet quiet place. It's not a warm home. I'm like, are you just now realizing this? I love like Ash is very slow. A piffinies like later on. She's like, I just can't when when Uncle Bub or whatever's name said that I was just a trophy wife, I couldn't believe it. I'm like, you realize that's been your storyline for the past three years, right?
Starting point is 00:18:00 Yeah, but they have to do this first episode thing again. I think they weren't sure how Potomac was gonna go. So they were just like, okay, everybody, we're gonna just pretend like today is the first day of shooting because they might just cut the episode 17, if nothing gets happened in the rest of the week. Two episodes season. So she calls her mom because, you know, actually it's a terrible little shit stirring brat, but at least she's gonna do it with her own mom as well. Like this is so nice how you're even willing to ruin your own mother's life on National TV. So you gotta give her credit for being evenly evil.
Starting point is 00:18:28 Yeah. So she calls up Sheila and I like that in honor of this occasion she puts on those long, like forearm, those long black loves. I was like, oh, are you planning to do someone after this phone call? Like, what's happening here? Are you planning on playing Maine
Starting point is 00:18:44 like during this phone call? Like what's happening happening here. Are you planning on playing main like during this phone call? Like, what's happening? Are you auditioning for Miss Scarlett in a clue reboot? So she calls her mom and her mom's doing that. I haven't asked you for money, but I'm going to you soon, boys. Yeah. She's like, hi, baby. How are you?
Starting point is 00:19:00 Oh, baby. Hash is like, you know, my mom, you know, you know, she didn't have a lot, she couldn't give us a lot financially, but she gave, she was very, very giving emotionally, you know, except for that year and a half when she abandoned me for some deadbeat guy, but other than that, like, very, very emotionally giving. Yeah, and also I'm not buying this any of this story because she says she didn't get rid of the deadbeat boyfriend that she did move out of the hotel to a house of her own and we didn't even help her. And we see the house later and I'm like you didn't help her. Really? Yeah come on. Eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Eyes. Which by the way you should be able to help her.
Starting point is 00:19:41 Yeah. So whatever. Okay so she's she's ready to ruin her mom's life on TV again. Yeah. Okay, so then we get the street sign that's like entering great falls and then lots of shots of freeways and stuff. Editor asks. Hiways, hiways. This is the center of the world. Now the highway has come to Great Falls.
Starting point is 00:19:59 It's not called, it's not called, not so great falls, it's called Great Falls. Highways come to great places. You drive to great places and you get off and you're like, wow, what a great fall from grace. Spaghetti is delicious. That's what they call it. The spaghetti bowl. Karen is wearing a wig. It looked like she was like walking down a street and a wig fell off a building and it landed right on her head. You know? It's like a little, a little M&M character
Starting point is 00:20:28 with standing on top of her head and then the wig fell on that and it was like bobbing on its own on top of her head. And like one side has gone limp. One side of her wig is gone limp and it's just like dangling. The other side is like in a little like bob. It was like an asymmetrical, like structural situation.
Starting point is 00:20:43 Now all that wig's shaming aside. One of my favorite wigs I have to say. I was like, what cute bouncy hair. At least on one side. It was a little bit like a victory of Victoria in the very few Chi-Way. Robin. Robin.
Starting point is 00:21:02 Robin. Robin. Robin. So Karen is meeting Matt at a restaurant. Now I don't care where Karen lives. Okay, I'm not one of these ladies who care, but you can tell that wherever it is, she's lived here for a very long time because she goes to this restaurant and the host discos, but she'd like me to bring you a black napkin instead. And she goes, of course.
Starting point is 00:21:26 Like Karen has her own black napkin at a restaurant. No, I, here's my theory on it. Because you know, basically a nice restaurant, if a lady is wearing a dark clothes, they will offer a dark napkins. That way the white fuzz from a white napkin doesn't get all over their dark clothing. This is something I learned. Oh well there you go. But what I what my interpretation of it is that Karen believe your what your version is what Karen actually believes. Oh well of course you're gonna be a black napkin. Oh look at this.
Starting point is 00:21:56 I come here all the time they're gonna serve appetizers today. The reputation precedes me. Everyone knows I like a black napkin in the middle of the day. If I'm meeting with my lawyer slash, past friends slash, and to your designer slash, chauffeur of 12 to 25 years, I need a black napkin. Yeah. I will take water. Thank you for asking.
Starting point is 00:22:19 Only me. When we were in Montreal, I was walking around and there was a place for... I won't take water only me. I was walking around, I put it on Instagram, but I never really... I feel like I still want to express on the main podcast, which is that I walked by an orange Julius place. And for some reason, orange Julius, I was like, that just sounds like such a Karen Huber thing. Arrgilius. Yeah, it's like I spoke to Arrgilius. Arrgilius is not a great friend. Arrgilius.
Starting point is 00:22:49 Oh, Arrgilius. You know, O'Awan. So he trusted his friends too until they all stabbed him at the same time. Very popular, Arrgilius. They call me the Queen of the Arrgilius. I guess just her and her say the word Julius. Just sounds like a very Karen you could Word I was actually the wedding of
Starting point is 00:23:08 Ones Julia's and little Caesar It was only me there. I was the only one about it. Mm-hmm. Derek ween tried to come by and I said you know you cannot come by Sorry Wendy she tried she tried it. She tried it couldn't get in Oh McDonalds you have a farm, EII, I go. Okay. KFC, how about KFC? No C, because you weren't there, we're not on the guest list. Hey girl, wanna go to commercial?
Starting point is 00:23:38 Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Yeah, wanna go to commercial? Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.
Starting point is 00:23:59 I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert-expert. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?
Starting point is 00:24:27 And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wendry app. So Matt, this is the dinner with Matt. Now she's ready to grill Matt
Starting point is 00:24:50 because Ashley was saying in France that Matt was at some gay bar giving up all this gossip on Karen, so. Yeah, so I just have to say when Matt walks in, that he comes in and they do like kisses on the cheek, he walks in and is like, hi, and they do kisses on the cheek and she goes, mm, fantastic.
Starting point is 00:25:07 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, jeez, fantastic. Mm-hmm. When he arrives, he goes, great, just good evening. I was like, shut up, Matt. So she's like, mm, you're a little bit late, Matt. And he's like, well, better to arrive late than ugly, right? And then when he order, they order and he's like hmm, you're a little bit late Matt Hmm, and he's like well better to arrive late than ugly right and then when he order he they order and he's like all she goes
Starting point is 00:25:29 I'll have the bass. Mm-hmm. And he goes I'll have the scallops and she says oh nice nice Better be a nice border, Matt. Mm-hmm. I want those scallops to be Ugly as hell because I'm not gonna wait for them I want those scops to be ugly as hell because I'm not gonna wait for them. Mmm. Masked tears. I'm gonna be here to you. Oh, cheers, Matt. She's talking to you.
Starting point is 00:25:50 She's about to poison them. Cheers, drink up. I think you'll find you'll enjoy your cocktail. But drink it up. Oh, drink it up. She's still sucking at him. Like, she's ready to grill him. Drink it up.
Starting point is 00:26:01 It's a shot, Matt. It's a shot. Also, Matt, you can't do that whole phrase better to arrive late than Ugly and then have your collar not ironed. Like, okay, you can't do the Southern and Southern night fever collar. And then, you know, if you're saying you're being late to look nice, iron that collar. Better be late than never, but it's worse to be both at the same time. Okay.
Starting point is 00:26:23 Matt, I was talking to Arzulia. And you're quite the hot topic, maaah! He's like, um, what did I tell Claire's this time? He's like, well, it was a huge go-round. This is the last time my brain can! Hmm. Apparently, apparently you told the girls I have rented furniture, and they both go, ha-ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha 24 25 years ago Remember those good old days when we just drive up any far things down the street and look at the tracks of land and say
Starting point is 00:27:17 Some day these will all be townhouses and maybe I live in one of them. How that could have been was 1833 I don't know What was that? We were riding horses back then. Where are we mad? Oh, I remember when we got our first liat ball We went and look at this grand gift from God. Who does that? Fire in a bucket, fire in a glass, but it was a lie, Bob. Karen is so Karen in this episode. She's talking like a motorcycle taking off from a red line.
Starting point is 00:27:35 It's like, I also, then they show this clip. She oh someone was out of her 24 25 years ago And then it was a clip of back long Sorry, it's a clip of Ashley saying well have luck if you've been friends and him saying 12 years and then they like put a big arrow John question mark like the editors are just having so much fun. They're like fuck them. So Karen's like these girls. Ashtray particular. Studying me intensely is like, Karen Yugo, what a one.
Starting point is 00:28:14 Having a master's in Karen. I mean, she lies on everyone. She gives me Jesus Christ and mine. Him. And Matt's just like, oh, oh my God. Yeah, they're just cracking up. Karen, you're so good. Karen, you're so good.
Starting point is 00:28:30 It's like you are so funny, you're paying for these scallops still, right? So, yeah, don't worry, Matt. Fantastic. So then, now by far look, I like Canvas. I think she seems like a nice girl. I love that she's completely immature. I like that she's a brat. I like that she's a nice girl. I love that she's completely immature.
Starting point is 00:28:45 I like that she's a brat. I like that she's a cheerleader. I like that she sings a lot, but I'm really sick of her fucking scenes. I don't want to watch that. I never again. I know. So this scene now where Candace is at home with her sister, Crystal, who's dressed like a barcode and they're hanging out.
Starting point is 00:29:01 And so Crystal's like, so what was your favorite part? What was your favorite part of the trip? And kind of like, I think really the highlight of the entire trip was when I sang to Monique. I'm like, you were in the south of France. You were on the Riviera, you were in Cannes, you were like in Province, you were at your favorite part was when you were at the whole jungle last night and you sang Happy Birthday. You were so self-involved.
Starting point is 00:29:22 Please. Really? And Crystal's like, where they impressed? And she said, well, they did say I could only sing with a mic. With just a hilarious rule. Kind of like, crystal is this a launch to my Beyonce. I'm like more like you're the Michelle to the world, Beyonce. You're the you vitamin C to like Renee Fleming. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Your sister punching people does not make you be on say, okay? So she's like, Mom, what about the store? And she's like, yeah, I tell her to do it. There's a lot of foot traffic, but you know, she does have a good point. Like footstone feet don't even wear weights yet. It's like a huge leap, a huge leap to make. So they call the mom and the mom is still my favorite person in this family because at least she's funny
Starting point is 00:30:12 Wait, they call it yeah, this is when they call it yeah, yeah, yeah, and she's like So has your way crystal And then they just talk about the wedding. I actually honestly, oh actually, they weren't talking about the wedding, they were talking about the store. And I just zoned out because it was like an endless scene of like trying to get them to downgrade the mom's involvement. The mom did mom is like to involve like how about your more of a consultant than a investor, whatever it was. And I was like, again, It's just like sort of a supervisor. She's gonna be a consultant and Candice is like That is a big step from mine I
Starting point is 00:30:52 Went on the internet and was reading Facebook comments about this episode and people were like whose mother calls them and says How's your weight? I would lose. I'm like doesn't everybody's mother do that? Yeah Is that not completely normal? I feel like if our mom, I would just call a stranger and be like, how's your way? Just to check in. Yeah, every time I call T-Mobile to pay my bill, they're like, hello, me, I help you. And I'm like, yeah, good. How's your way? The version that I get, I don't get how's your weight I get. So anything going on with your scripts, anything going on with your scripts, I'm like, no, nothing is going on with my scripts ever.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Don't you think I would text you the second I lost you pounds or wrote a script, both of you mothers? You know where they need you? Saturday night live. Well, I'll just tell them. I heard that you're needed it over there so you can hire me now. So I told you my mom's S&L thing every time I'm home for Christmas she has sat at in that plant and live playing and then one at least one time per episode she looks over at me with these like really mortified eyes like really depressed eyes and she goes they can do it why can't you okay I'll start up a 42 year old dynasty. I mean, it would be a great honor to write for SNL because I'm an SNL fiend, but realistically, I'm aware. And so every time I'm aware, it's probably not going to ever happen. And so every time...
Starting point is 00:32:20 Just call them up! Just call them up! They need you! They need you! Yeah! You should be an SNL. Call them up So next step rob and robins and brothers hey how should we start out in episode of robin brothers Let's let's get a sledgehammer and meet a wall. Hey Torrick, oh wait, he's not here. So she's yeah Robin is in her one lady property brothers in this like mold trap and Giselle shows up with a grocery bag and a piece of that, that's da! And she tells like, you paid for this robin!
Starting point is 00:33:08 This makes me pine for your old apartment! That was basically a glorified studio, wah! It's basically how we all felt when we saw Giselle's blue couch. That's true. This is actually an improvement over the blue couch. And Robin, of course. One night I had a rough life, but now we're building back up This represents a fresh start for me. I'm like it's more like a dirty moldy decrepit start Here we go with these fresh starts again
Starting point is 00:33:35 She's like I forgave this house for cheating on me, but I'm not ready to sleep with it yet This house to lower money So so then Ashley shows up and she's wearing like nice boots like not construction boots she's like you said that's not those kind of boots actually. So they do the obligatory hit the wall with the sledgehammer and scream like you know they're gonna die. I'm like man that might be a load bearing wall, but okay fine Also, I'm like this is looks like the moldiest most dangerous work, but I would never
Starting point is 00:34:15 Like break a wall like you know how many spores are in the air? Yeah Yeah, I think they did know because Skating I wanted scallops not mold from a wall We're the Scutties. Scutties. Scutties. I want it. Scalops. Not mold from a wall. So the camera men do you know the best dangerous because we're like
Starting point is 00:34:32 we're doing the rest of this outside. We're not risking our entire camera group. Okay. Yeah. We don't want to get asbestos in our lungs. Yes, they go outside and they have some
Starting point is 00:34:44 champagne. So of course they're acting like they're just there to compliment Robin when they're really there to tear down the giant wall of Karen Mr. Gorbachev tear down this Karen Oh my God, I cannot believe you. Stupid. So they're talking about Karen and how they want to pretend they're delivery people. So I'm kind of to catch her lying about living in that big giant mass and right. And Robin does the just health thing. She's like, you know, we tried to have this conversation with her and she won't go there. I just wish she would be comfortable being like my life is a mess because what I really want is just to be there for her.
Starting point is 00:35:30 Yeah, you really, really want that. I'm sure, especially after she spoke to you for three hours and you complained to everyone when she did that. Yeah, asshole. And Ashley says, hopefully the grand dom has a sense of humor. The text man didn't take that, right? Ha, ha, sorry. I'm like, for a lady about to be left with an allowance, you're pretty judgy. Yeah, I'm not so... But you know, though, I love a judgy person on TV because I'm a judgy bitch myself.
Starting point is 00:35:55 Well, actually it's one of my favorites, but there is like a huge delay. I'd say 85% of me wants to see Ashley in a target last next season, like working a check out line. It's not a little crap. That would be amazing. She would just be stirring up trouble in target.
Starting point is 00:36:09 She just be sending people to the wrong aisle, you know, just for the fun of it. Hey, why? She'd be that girl. She's pushing those golden pineapples in the home section. There's a husband up here buying tampons. Anyone who want to come look at him, he's mortified.
Starting point is 00:36:26 So now we go to Monique and Chris, they're in their backyard. And I never really appreciated how much their house looks like a remata. Have you noticed that? It looks like a giant remata in the middle of like suburban Pennsylvania or something. It looks like there should be like a little pool with a little metal thing around it and a parking lot. It's probably got all those things actually. Yeah, it's just it just has the look of a Ramada. It's huge, but that's what makes it look like a Ramada in. It's like Ramada in size. Well, Monique is one of those person with terrible surprise.
Starting point is 00:37:03 One of those people with terrible surprises. And one of those people with terrible surprises. Every time she's surprised, somebody, it's always been something really stupid. It's like, surprise. The sun's up. That she's like, you're like, you're like, you're like, she's like, Chris close your eyes.
Starting point is 00:37:14 He's like, boom, what a bubble. What? It's just actually a huge question because we all know Jack that the beanstalk, that's how the giant died. Yeah. What sort of surprise do you have in the backyard?
Starting point is 00:37:45 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, needed like a faux blindfold situation or ice-close situation like yeah I'm gonna guide you back here guess what I did poor two glasses of wine life is so hard god I'm so exhausted they're so romantic and I'm here to bring I'm here to rub some essential oils on your feet and your ankles and he's like good I haven't been able to figure out which side the buttons go on on my shirt since you left. I like she pulls off a sock, each one's like a ball gown. You know, it's like, it's like, each one is like those like things you put over like a barbecue, you know, during the winter. They're so big. So, so she's talking, you know, she says she realizes that she's not really over her miscarriage yet and that's probably why she's been focusing on so much stuff to sort of avoid her emotions, etc. What we all do with tragedy strikes, get a WordPress site.
Starting point is 00:38:36 Well, you know, I mean, I would do that, actually. I've actually done that like three times, so never mind. I take it back. Yeah, so So the end of Monique is because he's like all you should be doing something nice for you Is your birthday? And she's like she's like no, I just I want to do I just want to show you that I appreciate you because you know You took care of the kids while I was away. I'm like and sent you in like a million of your friends to France But he's the father. He's supposed to take care of the kids like what like also true. Yeah, like I mean, it's nice And look hey, you know when you love someone you want to do something nice from anyway, but seriously like it should not be such a
Starting point is 00:39:16 I say oh my god the father had to take care of the kids I'm sorry, but I'm sensing a divorce because their booth is like surprising each other with terrible surprises He's like, okay, surprise for you now. I'm going poop. So he comes back out and he's got like a little cake from the Ralph's I had to think exactly what I said. It's like fresh from Albertans. It's a supermarket red velvet cake and some shoes her gay brother Butter, I'm like, oh, and divorce. He's like, oh, I have to learn that I need to learn how to pump my brakes. But every time I pump my brakes, my foot just goes through the chassis of the car. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I was driving the kids to school, but then realized I was wearing the car.
Starting point is 00:40:00 And the buttons were still on backwards. So, didn't they, weren't they saying that the kids got a cold, was that later on? Oh, was later on, never mind. I don't know. Let's give it time so we can not care about it now. We'll wait to not care about it later. Yeah. I thought when he left to get, I thought he was just going to just take a massive shit when he's like I'll be right back. I just have to take another shit on the disposable toilet You know every time he sits in that toilet Got him on the toilet ready. That's his swimming pool now there
Starting point is 00:40:40 So then next with this like really Bizarre but hilarious scene because it made no sense. It was like, now we're gonna watch Karen Huga set a table. It was like the music was like so serious. It was like, bum bum bum bum bum bum. It was like two piano, two piano thing,
Starting point is 00:41:00 like one piano key clinking at a time. Yeah. And then it's like it shows uh Karen taking like a glass out of the cupboard putting on the table taking a fork putting on the table and she's like I think I should just show this in my life I would be too I mean does she get to set a table for no one in particular I don't think so I think it goes to the potty hell the ghost are gonna come. Let's be great.
Starting point is 00:41:27 Yo, thank you. Do it. My life is wonderful. I have little folks, bigger folks. Some say them, some call them cellophos. I call them, sugar for. Guess what, they're the fork and I'm the person. So I get a name you for.
Starting point is 00:41:44 I mean, it's obvious I live in my house. the person so I get to name you for I mean it's obvious I live in my house. I just don't want to invite you into my house my life is fabulous. You know get happy get off Table Guess what it's only 11 o'clock. Yeah, I'm Sure, now I'm ready for all those guests to come back. It was so good. Karen just said, Well, when I give you my treats, accept my treats. Don't embarrass my treats, make it a lie. Clearly I am. She would suffer face, and she's like the green alien guy from Batman.
Starting point is 00:42:21 Yeah, I was like, well, congratulations. You just put out all your flatware you got from Marshalls. So that's nice. Now what are you going to do with the rest of the 83 hours left in the week? And her proof of her furniture not being rented. I mean, they're showing clips up of, they're showing clips of her furniture and it's all vacuumed. You know, it has like the vacuum lines up it. I'm not sure about this because if Catherine, Catherine, I'm sorry, I'm back in the Southern Charm. I'm like, please have me alone.
Starting point is 00:42:51 If this isn't Karen's house, why would she be paying all this money to just rent it? To keep up appearances on TV? I know, but wouldn't she live there if she was renting it? It doesn't make sense. Maybe they rent it on the theory that they pay a day rental for it or something I I don't know I feel like Well, maybe they don't stay there because it's like all their stuff is in their townhouse Oh, maybe they still have a furnished house to shoot in you know or did production rent it for her like I'm confused about what the theory is
Starting point is 00:43:24 No, it's very simple thing. It's confused about what the theory is. She's still. No, it's a very simple thing. It's like my son. So he's working, but he needs to stay at home. So sometimes I say in the townhouse, he stays at home, and then it turns out that the mailman, so he has furniture. So he's saved the key to the furniture there. But it's like very obvious.
Starting point is 00:43:35 We put the furniture there. The mailman says in the townhouse, and actually when the night I say the townhouse down town, and then there's a car that goes between the two, then we say the Uber driver. He keeps his glasses in the dinner table. So we sometimes set the dinner table, hoping the driver comes by, but then the mailman comes and we just have all the friends. This is very simple. You know how sons are. They just love vacuuming furniture.
Starting point is 00:43:52 Hmm. Totally makes sense. Yeah, it's very simple, very simple. And orange Julius comes by and we have a wonderful dinner. Yeah, so she sets her table for like six people, but no one ever comes over. It's the saddest scene ever. Yeah. So then we cut over to Ashley's mom's new house. And it's gorgeous. We saw the. Yeah. That's true.
Starting point is 00:44:11 And then we cut to Ashley's mom's new house, which is fucking gorgeous and really well decorated. So somebody is paying for this and it's not somebody working in a one-income family. And Sheila is like, you know what? Now that I have a house, I'm gonna get a new wig. I'm going to get a school administrator wig. It's basically like Secretary
Starting point is 00:44:33 to the Vice Principal wig. Like this is Maureen. Maureen now lives here. It's a little bob that doesn't quite go long enough. So that's a little bit too small for her face. If you can ever get a picture of your school administrator from back growing up, I would love it because every time you bring up school administrator, she's in some wig. Well, I mean, she'll have basically turned into Beverly Beach.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Okay. School administrator to all of us. Yes, Beverly Beach. She, this is Beverly Beach right here. She is a Beverly, she turned into a Beverly Beach. She's like, well, I'm getting my life together. I'm a Beverly, she turned into a Beverly Beach. She's like, well, I'm getting my life together. I'm a Beverly Beach now. I am going to be making some announcements tomorrow
Starting point is 00:45:09 at the school concerning the buses and I feel like I'm moving forward. She's got a fake palm tree in her class. So Ashley brings over to Booly. She's like, if you ever had to Booly and she's honestly honey, it tastes like grass. Which is true. But I'm not a fan of tabooly.
Starting point is 00:45:27 So Sheila and I really do sort of love tabooly. I grew up with it, but I would much prefer just not to have wheat in my salad. I feel like wheat is for bread. I won't bread. I know it's a different in salad. I don't like it. Every time my parents come to visit,
Starting point is 00:45:43 we always go to this Middle Eastern restaurant, Lebanese restaurant, Marouche, and my dad always orders the tabooly, and I never have it, because I don't really like tabooly that much. And then he always orders it, and he's like, you'll take this home, Ben, you'll take this home, I don't wanna take it home.
Starting point is 00:45:57 And I always get forced taking it on the tabooly. I make tabooly, and then I just look at it, like why would I make tabooly? Why? So I have to say, by the way, that, remember I mentioned those cookbooks, one of them is a cookbook called Persia. That's so Persian.
Starting point is 00:46:12 So perfect, as Charles's sunset's coming back this week. Persia, which is given to me by Kelly. And I have to say, I am so, why am I talking about the so cares I'm like, I'm so excited to cook out of Persia. I'm excited for that. Who the bot like who the fuck cares Sorry everyone I'm a coffee. I Care what's it to bully in it? I don't see to bully because I'm not sure if to bully would be in I don't know if a cross is over into Persian food
Starting point is 00:46:37 You know there is a lot of crossover right with Persian food and like Middle Eastern food, but I don't know If it makes it either way the point is I'm excited for some Persian food. And when I get back from Italy, we're going to have a little Persian dinner party in the running. That's so no to tell you. Oh, yeah. Hell yeah. I would love a Persian food party.
Starting point is 00:46:52 I love some yellow rice. I want to, you know what I want to do? I want to make that rice. It's called Tadik. The, that Asas always talking about where it's like it's crusty and it's like buttery and crusty and you turn it like in the eternal river. Yellow rice. I want to make that. This cookbook is supposed to be fun. I won the James
Starting point is 00:47:08 beard award and I'm really excited for it. Yeah who hasn't. I know I'm not right. I'm sorry everyone. This is like the most boring tangent of all time. I loved it. I'm looking I'm getting kind of grief for when you were cheering. I'm already hungry feeders. And I might as well give a shout out to Mary to give me the other cookbooks, as I'm getting shout out to one and not the other. So thank you, Kelly and Mary. Okay. Well, you did just what mom wants. You just said, so tell me some positive stuff. To bring me peppermint oil to bring it.
Starting point is 00:47:43 So as she's like, well, I was trying to see you. So Michael doesn't want to have kids with me because you're a deadbeat. So what do you think about that? She's Ashley. Yeah, I was like, see, this makes me think that Ashley is going to leave Michael because, well, two things. She's either going to leave Michael because when you say this, you're really fracturing that relationship or she's like, well it's already
Starting point is 00:48:09 on camera so I get better get ahead of it before my mom sees it. It's probably that. So yeah, so she basically says like, yeah, Michael doesn't want, is afraid of me being a mother because she he's afraid of that I'll be a mother the way you were a mother to me. And she's'll just says what? I am all up in my head right now. She's what she's like what about him at least my children speak to me and don't call me every day Screaming at me which excellent point Uh-huh I think that I think kind of Michael's point is he's a terrible father
Starting point is 00:48:42 And that's probably what he should just go with. It's like, I am a father already, and I don't want to do it again, because I suck at it, and my children hate my guts. And let's face it, I will probably not live to see our kid turn 10. And if it does, it's first words will be, fuck you, you asshole. Yeah, so that, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:00 So Sheila is furious, you know, she's like, not only do I have to report to the radio stations about all the snow days now on top of that, I have Michael. Oh, yeah, so whatever. I mean, it's like a scene, it's a season one Ashley struggle, which is... And she's like, is Michael really have a baby with me? No, stop marrying old people young people. Okay. Yeah And if they say they don't want a baby at the beginning listen to them no matter what they're He said he said that he wanted he wanted to be he lied to her actually which is what's the most fucked up part You mean they're saying you're talking about well, you know Karen. She's been lying to us
Starting point is 00:49:39 That's what really bothers about the house actually no this is a lie that really matters This is a wanted one he said that he would someone. He didn't say one at one. He said that he would do it if they got the rest. Well, he said he would do it and then he started adding different things onto it. But I mean, Ashley is the dumb dumb because she should have realized she was a trophy wife. And she's actually a dumb dumb.
Starting point is 00:49:57 She should have resigning that with that prenup. I will never forget for that. Yeah, I'm gonna walk that back because there is something so obnoxious about. She should have'm taking I'm going to walk that back because it is like there is something so obnoxious, but she should have realized she was a trophy wife because that just removes all the agency from her. Like you should know your role. Because on the one hand, it's like, yeah, well, you were obviously the trophy wife. So what did you expect? But at the same time, it's like, Hey,
Starting point is 00:50:17 if someone says they will do these things with you, like, why should it be ashes fault that she didn't realize the trophy rights? Like, fuck him, you know? Well, I mean, it's one of those things where when you're young, you just don't see the signs. I mean, I know. I have to remember sometimes, I'm twice the HSC's people that we talk about. And, you know, it's easier
Starting point is 00:50:33 when you've been broken a lot of times. But that being said, I still chuckled when she was like, it really bothers me that Michael, he may have just married me for my looks. It's like, you think, you think? Really? Did you think it was your calculus skills? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha get it. It's an integral part of our comedy routine. Get it. Oh my God. All right, so to get the cake, okay, I can do it. I can make it. Okay, like how I want to look. This is only a fraction of the problem. Now let's have some pie and figure this out. I think that Ashley and Michael have an asymptotic relationship, but they'll get closer and closer
Starting point is 00:51:25 having a baby, but they will never actually reach baby level. Listen, X does not equal baby in this formula. Okay. That's the not equal bad end, this formula. I have a theorem about how this is going to work. Why are we, I like that we just like now, I'm going to have to have a voice for some reason. I know, because it's like dumb people saying like smart things. Yeah. Okay, no offense
Starting point is 00:51:48 So next up is Karen meeting with the young kids Brother fresh a brother fresh air. I'm gonna recruit people to my dinner party the table's been set for about three weeks now You want to come? No, okay? So there yeah, she's with Monique and Karen at the Capitol Harvest Festival in DC. Karen's like, you look a damn, you look a damn. And Monique's like, oh, well, you know, all the kids are sick now, like this one got sick, then that one got sick, and now that one's sick.
Starting point is 00:52:17 Well, so much for those essential oils. Hey, you know what's more boring than talking about your goddamn sick kid, a goddamn wedding. Again, and then someone's mommy issues. Yeah, well, here's Candace for that. Yeah, so they basically go through that. Candace is like, but it's so hard. My mom, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom, my mom. Get a job.
Starting point is 00:52:37 How about that? Get a fucking job and pay for your own shit. I'm not going to say it again. I'm tired of saying it. Get a job. Yeah. Yeah. They were just, they were just like all babbling. And then
Starting point is 00:52:45 finally they were just like, Karen's like, can't, so you look like you're spinning out of control. Like a crazy on Julius machine that has been untended to. Oh, you're spinning on the target. You let McDonald into your wedding. Oh, I see what's going on here you You rang the Taco Bell didn't you? Well, Monique keeps it on game because she goes you can't worry about outside factors. Oh You're always worrying about the lowest common denominator aren't you? You're in your prime So they talk about all this shit and they're basically like don't stress out blah blah blah The book is on Chris your work focus and she can't just like you know, I'm spending all this time
Starting point is 00:53:32 I'm worrying about the wedding and not being enough attention to Chris and I can't broken home he comes from broken home which and he also broke a home because he's a terrible father because he called me a princess and Am I already ruining my my wedding before it's even began and we're doing that. We're doing that. Well, you're certainly ruined it for us. Yeah. Okay. So just so Robin and Ashley get together to terrorize Karen's house now. Oh, yeah. And they're all getting into skies as a stuff and Jizzels got a pizza because they're going to pretend they're pizza delivery people. And Jizzels like, no, does that care and live in this house and great foes? Is the question, no, this is what we're figuring out.
Starting point is 00:54:17 This is why I look like flow from the progressive commercial. I'm like, if flowed look like you, that would be the most progressive, progressive commercial they've had today. I'm like, nothing like flow in that commercial. She was wearing a J-Girl wig. I was like, which flow are we talking about here? You're giving progressive a lot of credit. P.S., I sort of love how the progressive commercials are like building out their extended universe. Like, there's all these like recurring characters now Have you noticed that I'm like a little bit into it? So yeah, so anyway, so they get it they get a pizza and by the way that pizza was very influential because that what's what influenced
Starting point is 00:55:00 me to later get a pizza for dinner, but um the pizza came and And so Robin and Asya there and they're all dressed like Bob Fossi like they're gonna do performance in Chicago. You know, I was like, are they gonna go just like slinking around? All that jazz. Well, you know, it's funny that you said this inspired you to get food because I was watching this and I ordered cashew chicken which is very like my daughter is sick and I'm chicken about my wedding.
Starting point is 00:55:25 Oh. You see, like how it all comes full circle in our stomachs. It really does. So they put Robin in like dad jeans or as, which is also says Obama dad jeans. And like Obama. Yeah, that jeans. And then like they put this like mustache and beard on her,
Starting point is 00:55:42 but like it had clearly been in like the package for two years, because it was so stiff, it was like a brown kernel sanders to bring it back to kernel sanders, but it was like a brown kernel sanders thing. Yeah, it was like the worst, most like obviously disguised the mustache and beard of all time. And Ashley's trying to stover tend this is a good thing. Now these women know what jerks they're being. And they also know that they're probably correct. So Ashley's like, well, if Karen sees Foxy brown Wolverine
Starting point is 00:56:09 and Luigi from Mario brother, she might get a kick out of it, right? Ashley, she looked like Chitara. I was like, what is happening? Why, why, why are you dressed like that? In a no sense. I don't think anybody would open the door for these people to deliver their food. They just all looked like terrifying people in general. And the best is that then they pile into the car and they drive over to great falls and they're having a very serious conversation all while in these ridiculous costumes. And then Robin, who's apparently in my cabinet of the Hippocratic Party, is like, how far is this?
Starting point is 00:56:44 I would get tired driving on this road um you live like an hour outside of town so could you maybe um get off the front road yeah you basically are in the Delaware River Dap so she's like that's road by my clothes so um uh so they get to the house it was actually pretty funny because Robin gets up there like okay Robin you go I just wait I thought all three of us like bye And they're like cracking up to I mean I was actually laughing a lot because it was funny like it was that like excitement But not let's like that nervous laugh for you. Yeah, when you do something so stupid with your friends Yeah, and then we end with to be continued as they ding cuz it gusting dong. I was like we end with to be continued as they ding because it goes ding dong and it's like dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb,
Starting point is 00:57:28 we'll carry on and get the pizza. And then I was like next week on the season finale, I'm like, wait a second, this is the cliffhanger that's going to take us in the season finale, whether or not someone's going to accept a pizza. I think this is, um, this should have ended in 13 episodes like last year. Okay. Yeah. You're stretching. You're stretching a little too far. So what a taffy of Potomac. So what a taffy of Potomac. It's been good though. And I'm like very excited that Potomac is having a strong
Starting point is 00:57:58 season that everyone's talking about it. And I feel like this is, this is, this is good. It's going in the right direction. Yes well we will see you next week for the season finale with the Ray. Everybody go get live tickets Atlanta two shows coming up and West Palm and then Denver in Sip Chimba. We will see you guys let oh it's also the last couple of days you can get your tricks the modical band T-shirts. Oh my god over there watch it crap and it's for links to that as well. That shirt is awesome I actually wore it one day. I think at the festival on people people just liked it in general I had no idea what it was. It's like that's good right on yeah
Starting point is 00:58:35 Yeah, all right everybody. Well, thank you so much. We will talk to you next time. Bye Hey prime members you can listen to watch our Crappens, Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.

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