Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Reunion Part One Mommy Fearest

Episode Date: September 17, 2019

The Real Housewives of Potomac bless us with a reunion full of purse to face reenactments and screaming matches about who's the biggest mooch. To hear this week's episode about road rage, car shaming, and Bravo's Flipping Exes, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Season One Camille" "Demoted to Friend Of" and "Resting Honnay Face!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! Free shipping on orders of $45 or more! **Crappens Live is coming to Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Tampa, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale, Atlanta, Houston and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Bachelor in Paradise. So go check that out. And here I am with the newly tanned and white out, Mr. Ben Vandalker. Burried. Mr. Ben Vandalker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Island, which is a real housewise cartoon, but all the housewives are played by kitchen utensils, okay? So go check that out on YouTube.

Hi, Ben, how are you, baby? Oh, I'm good. I mean, aside from just like the low-level, low grade, but constant burning that's happening on my back right now from some poor application of suntan lotion. I'm great, I'm great. Yeah, did you go to Hawaii? Well, I've been saving that up. Okay. Hawaii. Yeah, for the very de-medicine emergent, emergent, but today, yeah, but today is real housewives of Potomac, so guess I wasted that one. I know you shot your wand Yes today we're talking real housewives of Potomac reunion which had me just like cracking up

I mean really this is I you know we we make fun of Andy Cohen But we also praise him when he does right and I thought he was so funny this episode. He was so good But before we get into that we have all of fun, exciting things. We got live shows that are coming up. Next week is actually our Charlotte and Nashville double header shows. And we just announced today that we are going to be recapping Real Housewives of Orange County in Charlotte and Real Housewives of Dallas in Nashville. Those are two of our like top tier recaps. We have the most fun doing them. We just love going in on those ladies.

So we are so excited to be bringing those to our live shows. So go to watchacrapins.com to get tickets for those shows. It's those are going to be amazing, amazing shows. And the Charlotte one in particular is going to be in an absolutely huge theater. The more people we can cram into there, the more the energy will be. It will be fabulous. We've sold out most of the bottom floor, but there is actually a balcony. There's two rows that go around the entire balcony that I think are still available, but

still not a huge amount of tickets left. Definitely definitely go to watchcrapins.com for that. And Nashville's also at a low ticket alert. And then just after that, we have a bunch of amazing cities that we're going to. And I'm just going to read through them right now. If you hear your city, please, please feel free to buy a ticket to our show because you're going to have an amazing time. Okay, so here we're going to Atlanta, Georgia. We got two shows going on there.

We're going to Carbrow, North Carolina. That's like the research triangle area. Richmond, Virginia, Tampa, Florida. Never been to Tampa. And we're also going to Fort Lauderdale. Never been to either of those places. Indianapolis, two shows in Chicago. One of them is sold out.

Although there are actually there are VIP tickets available to that one. Two shows in New York City, St. Louis, Philadelphia, two shows, Denver, Seattle. We're going to close up the year in Seattle. And then next year we start things back up again. We have Columbus, Ohio and we have Houston, Texas. There are so many other cities we are going to announce. It's going to be great. But for right now, go to watchocrapans.com.

And really, we always say this, if you're worried about going alone really don't worry we have people who have gone to the shows alone and have made like literal best friends. So you will you will really have a great time and if you missed out on bravo con don't worry we got shows the same weekend and the weekend after that you can come to and be with your peeps. So that's really all I have to say about all that. Well, that was very well done being Thank you Also, everyone you can find us on camio find our bonus episodes on patreon and if you want to be a sponsor just go over there And thanks to everybody who does that

So I might sound a little weird. I'm in Texas this week my prop all past which is so sad But I'm in Texas. So if it's echoing in here just tell me because I'm screaming in yelling or if my dad walks in and offers me water Berger or what have you? And it goes without saying by the way that not only I but I'm assuming all of the crap in this community It totally gives your family a big hug Thank you intense condolences about your pop-up. Thank. And thank you guys out there who are being so nice. Yeah. Poor guy. But blessed in pop off this trashy episode of Real Housewives Potomac reunion part one is for you. Funny. So if I do see you on IG live later,

just know I may have some comments. Yeah. Um, we're going to be holding his memorial service on Instagram live from a couch in a very good. So if anybody wants to join me there, I'll be in a turban. So, thank you all the people in the phone. The people who live in the phone. So yeah, we're talking about Potomac today and this reunion had me laughing out loud. Oh my God, was it so funny. It was just perfection. Well, I love that this show, you know, this show does really well.

I mean, well for housewives shows, I think it's a pretty highly rated show. Why are you guys using the same Southern Charms set you just used with some faux finishing on top? Even the liquor bottles are the same. Are you guys fucking kidding me right now? Yeah, I'm like, there's like, there's like, drop hop. There's cans of drop hop in there. And then you like, painted a binye on there to be like, no, it's for New Orleans.

I mean, while poor New Orleans, Southern Charms New Orleans, which had a fantastic season, doesn't even get to use the set that was probably built for them before they decided that there wasn't enough money to send the whole cast up to New York. That was just so shady. That was some dinner theater shit watching the set, watching them just repurpose the set. I mean, all lary is. Yeah. So, you know, the reunion starts with the usual, you know usual three hours before the reunion, people showing up to get their makeup on and things like that. And Andy does that think where he sort of like wafts into each woman's dressing room area and asks like needle in questions.

Like you ready for tonight? Yeah, you're wearing leather arm, yeah. Hey, guess what? You don't only have to deal with these crazy women, but your mom is coming and you feel about that candid? So something that we have to address, there is a plague that is spreading across Bravo. The first wave of it was privyface. The second wave of it was something that I can't think of right now, but there was probably a second wave of something that has afflicted all our housewives and Bravo stars.

And the third wave is Pedram Kutur. Okay. Now I can't be sure that Pedram Kutur is like, there was no confirmation. And I have not done the research that anyone was wearing Pedram Kutur, but I'm pretty sure Jizal was wearing it. And I think this has to stop. I think someone has to stop this padramp guy because he is infecting all of our housewives or just women on Bravo with these like faux figure skating, wedding dress jumpsuits.

And it's just going to stop. I think Jizal is wearing it because I'm looking at it now. I got it, I had to take a screenshot of all these crazy outfits because these people are nuts. Okay. First off, they're all in white. So I think just L is wearing it because she it looks like the see through part of that let you know, he does like the lace with the see through like ice

getting said underneath. I think hers is his color because he likes to use that tan color. Yeah. And I think hers is that I can't tell from far away. But yeah, it's like a wedding dress with shoulder pads and then it's see through with that stuff. And then who else is wearing it? Ashley.

Well, yeah, Ashley has something that looks like it because and she has a cape. It's a really, really affected look. I just have to circle back to Giselle's shoulder pads because the shoulder pads were just It was a really, really affected look. I just have to circle back to Jacelle's shoulder pads because the shoulder pads were just like the saddest shoulder pads I've ever seen. Because shoulder pads, if you're gonna wear them, you're just gonna be like, boom, I'm doing a shoulder pad,

but these were just sort of like these deflated limp puffs that were not even at the edge of her shoulders. They were almost like at the front of her shoulder. It's just sort of like, it looked like, yeah. It looked like two balloons at the edge of her shoulders, they're almost like at the front of her shoulder. It's just sort of like, it looked like, it looked like two balloons at the end of a party. You know, it was just, it was not a straw, like you're leaning on the glass, like you're leaning shoulder into the glass,

like while you're waiting at the bank, you know? Yeah, it was an embellishment that needed more thought. And it should have been, if you're gonna do the shoulder pad, make it a strong statement. Give it some Joan Collins, but it was. Yeah, this is very like a moan Collins. And also, we're not, we're not very like,

we're not really, that pun was for you, Ben. This is, we're not really clothes, queens, like I don't care, but this, I mean, we just have to talk about him and this one. Ashley has just had a baby, and she's wearing like this open, okay. like I don't care but this I mean this we just have to talk about him and this one Ashley has just had a baby and she's wearing like this open okay she's wearing like a super woman top right like a busier this open down to her belly button but then it's being held together by white see-through stuff and then a see-through dress and then like a cape shawl she looks crazy and then a C3 dress and then like a cape saw. She looks crazy. Yeah, the cape was was aggressive. I remind him it was just it was not. Candace is wearing a worst

candy ass. Candy ass is wearing a giant bird feather and then half a long dress and half a short dress. It's like she half committed to an angel's in America costume and then decided she wants to go art deco for the other half. Yeah, I'm a Thompson who's busy for this one. It's just candy ass. Like counting your ass while you're on your deathbed, you know. Yeah, it was really crazy. Now Robin, I think actually believe it or not though, Robin was the one who looked the worst if you asked me because so she has this like soccer mom Bob that she's done with her hair okay which is like it's not the best it's not the worst

but then she has this strange like sheer polka-dotted sleeve situation happening that reminded me of someone who has just not gone out in in about five or six years because they've been stuck at home taking care of their kids and then all of a sudden their girlfriends are like, hey, let's go to Vegas. And they're like, great, but they don't really know what to wear to Vegas. So somehow they like land on sheer polka dot and you're like, oh, you're really, oh, okay. Guess this limits what clubs were going to be like. Yeah. And then she's wearing a full length crop top dress. Okay. This is why she's the worst because it's kind of, it's, it's not really crop crop top. It's like a peek at the keyhole. Yeah, it's a keyhole. Okay, but it's like a crop

crop key key crop hole. And so she's not really crop top wedding dress. She's kind of like keyhole quince and yara, you know, it's like she's wearing like a floor length tight evening gown, but then with the lace over the top of it. And she is so pretty. She is so pretty. And the fact that she has like made two unforced errors. And the thing is that like the hair and the the hair is like not the best, like I said, it's not the best, not the worst, but coupled with that, that outfit, it just was, you know, I think she was put on the edge of the couch really

mainly because Bravo said we can't have this front and center on our stage. Yeah, and because of that living room that you flipped, that tiny living room that could only fit like a thumb size couch. Also, I know that you're on a bargain and your whole thing is like flopper flop now, but you don't need to be borrowing Karen's Wigs for the reunion. This is basically just a Karen wig. True.

Karen owns this wig. She's worn it many times. So then Karen's speaking of, as double keyholes, she's got like a lock box. What would you call that? She's just living in a rough part of town. And so she needs a few more extra latches on the door. She looks like someone would grab her from the side and then lift her up horizontally, like a six pack of coats.

We've guessed. Yes, it's like those cardboard things that you push in, so you can grab a handle in the, in the soda box. No, the plastic ones that, like the dolphins get stuck in. You know, it's like stuck around the dolphin mouth. I'm not threatening the environment, but that's what you do for fashion.

Okay, so that's enough clothes. Let's get into the picture. Well, we, Monique, can't let Monique, Monique. Monique look largely fine, but she was, but she had these sort of like gold or brass embellishments right above her breasts. Then made it look like she had a cheetah print in broth, thinking out the entire time. So at first I was like, what is this trashy look that Monique is going for? And then I realized it was just that the metal embellishment did that. Oh, yeah it is. It's like a black bra with metal stuff on it underneath. Yeah, but somehow she looked the best. So go figure. Oh yeah, it's so crazy that so much has changed since the end of filming

to now. Like she's had her baby and then Ashley is like got pregnant and had a baby. It's like next. Yeah. Well, speaking of which, when the when the reunion starts, and he does his usual thing, he goes, hi, Ashley, how are you? She goes, I'm a little sad, but I'm good. And he's like, oh, you sad because your baby Dean isn't here. She's like, yeah, I'm like, okay. All right, I know. Ashley, I'm already mad at you. This is not how you start off a reunion,

saying that you're sad because your baby isn't there. It's been like a day, it's been, what, how many hours? I know she's doing that thing where she's both wanting pity from us and us to say congratulations at the same time. Like you can't get both things and also you don't need to wear your nursing napkin to the reunion. Because you know that's her version of a nursing nap is just like a see-through cloth over her boobs. She'd like to go in public to do it just and it would be like sheer.

Which by the way, nursing public mothers, you deserve it. You gave birth. Yeah, sure. And then you just know that she is the sort of mom who is just going to bring everything back to the fact that she's a mom. Okay, the fact that Andy says, how are you? And she's not like, I'm great. Thanks. She's like, I'm sad because I'm not with my baby who she probably saw, I don't know,

maybe five hours ago. You know, it's like, you know, everything is like, would you like cream cheese on your bagel or egg salad? I don't know, makes me sad because my baby can't have either of those things, yes. It's like, that has nothing to do with it. Man, would you like a refill of water? I'd like my baby.

Where? So it's like, how's Michael is a dad? And she's like, well, you know, he got to spank a guy's ass first thing out of the womb and no one sued him. So that's a win, Andy. That's a win. Oh, yeah. So, um, yes, then Andy asked about his old dad who he now thinks he's like a star. And, um, you know, Andy's just going around asking him, like, how are you? How are you?

And Monique's like, um, unlike Ashley, I I'm actually happy I got away from my three kids, which is how most mothers I encounter feel all the time. And he's like, well, how is Baby Chase? And they cut to a picture of her baby who's like eating a monster truck tire. He's like, he's like, wow. Wow, wow.

Like, not give her a building in Tokyo. Yeah. And by the way, Candice, I mean, I just can't get over this. It looks like a bird is trying to eat off her arm. An ostrich is just swallowing her arm. It's almost like she was swallowed by a cockatoo. And then she just punched out of the cockatoo's back. So then Andy, who also will take,

I can't believe he didn't say he had a baby in this episode because it is shocking. They showed a clip for Watch What Happens Live and he's like, hi, I'm Andy. And some people let themselves go after a baby and I just let myself beard all the time. And I'm surprised that he didn't, you know, bring up his baby in this, but he doesn't get, oh, I was gonna say,

sorry, I lost myself, because I'm just talking too much and too fast. But he doesn't even have time to rhyme things, because now he has a baby. Like he doesn't watch what happens live. So he's like, hi, Robin. Looks like short hair don't care. His morphed into a short, bob don't care.

I have a baby now. All right. So, new time to rhyme. I got a baby baby someone at home come up with a rain for Bob. Okay, thanks And then he's like hey grand I'd like to thank Ray for his performance for making everything fabulous. Thank you. Thank you. I'd like to thank Macy Gray, Macy Gray, Hey girl. It's me, Karen. Hey. And the great words of Macy Gray, I try to run away and I stumble. What are those lyrics again? So I hear you made the move and now you live back in Potomac and say

the ground down has returned to claim her there. Do I? Yeah, yeah, it's a nice house right next door to Marshalls. I think that Karen has new teeth or she's got Botox placed in a different place now above her lips because now she's doing like a lip purse, but she's kind of like, you know, with tennis ball in his mouth with a lip purse, but she's kind of like, dealer with a tennis ball in his mouth, with a lip hers over. Have you know, like she's trying to get something,

we said last week that it looked like she was trying to get something out of her teeth, but it's like something really big now. She's like, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm. Well, it takes, you have to make millions, to lose millions, and get spinach in your teeth, and all I'm saying, you have to win more money lose millions and get spinach in your teeth, and all I'm saying... You have to have more money to have.

The more money you have, the more you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have.

The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have.

The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money you have. The more money invested in Apple? No, I have Apple, my teeth. Apple partner in Apple, his name is Jobs. All right. No, landing. So how do the ladies feel about Michael joining later on? And Monique is nervous. And Karen says, well, you know, Michael

doesn't miss a camera. The man loves a camera. Fox five is the indication of that. Next. Literally, Karen spends this entire reunion percing her lips over her new teeth and then winking at the camera. So funny that she calls her bad on that.

And she's like, well, yeah, but he was also a very big topic of discussion. So he should be here. So that's true too but hmm fox 5 hmm fox 5 1 2 3 4 fox 5 I'll tell you my new place in the Patomaic has wonderful reception when I use my rabbit ears to get in to an inch you fox 5 fox 5 this is my watch fox and said it like this MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM The fax machine print out something for half an hour, it's fascinating. Two Grand Dom from fax5. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm So, Jiselle is like, well I for one and sick of talking about the Michael situation, nah, and Karen's like, oh, she's like, give it now. She has so much to say from the chair,

off from the chair. And that's not something a friend with Jiselle. And Andy's like, okay, well, we're gonna get into it. And Jiselle's like, well, I would rather, okay, yeah, okay, then, okay, then, nah. Jacelle's doing a great job. She did just an overall note. Jacelle did a really great job in this reunion with pretending to be innocent while sticking to her guns, while pretending that she's apologized this whole season. I mean, it was really masterful.

I have to hand it to Jacelle. She was truly hilarious. So speaking of Jacelle, we now have the softer side of Giselle segment where we just see her trying to be a better person for like an episode and all this stuff therapy and being better but again into fights with Karen etc etc and so when we come out of it and he's like so you know do you think you've changed or whatever and Giselle's like well I have learned a lot from Dr. Kenna.

I've learned to be empathetic. I've learned that I always thought everyone was missing a sensitivity chip. But turns out there's no chips missing. There's just a chip in Karen's teeth as we speak. Mmm, mmm, mmm. Yeah, so almost got it, almost got it. Mmm. Well, it's a vegetable chip from Whole Foods, Andy.

Mmm, not just a regular old potato chip. Take that, just now. You have to afford vegetable chips to get vegetable chips talking to your teeth. Mm-hmm. Oh, so, just as I was answering, she goes, she goes, well, you know, Dr. Ken, pointing out that, you have to have empathy for other people.

What a light bulb. Yeah, I know. Who to thought? pointing out that uh... you have to have empathy uh... for other people what a light bulb yeah no so no one thinks he's changed obviously and and he's like here and is the is jazel's mess train still on time and she's like well here's what you need to do jazel you must learn to change the things that you can and change things that you can and change the things that you can't and

Derek that's a great just get to the point. Okay. It's like thanks for the advice Caret are you jumping down to Zell's throat or are you helping her as a friend right now? Listen listen. It's feels what I have to say but just I'll changing okay. It's These are lessons that we learned back in Sesame Street. I bring that up because I have a Sesame Street scene stuck in my teeth right now So speak. Oh, no, still there. Yep, that's still there. Yep, yep. See you for cookie and it's stuck in my teeth. Mmm. It just feels like well, I think the way that I am has served me quite well. I'm like you have, why am I just now noticing

that you have two boomerang-shaped diamonds that are attached to each other? Like they're two boomerangs hanging on to each other, dangling. Don't please don't drive. It's just a, it's her way of taunting Ashley and the failure of Oz. Well, I guess there wasn't a demand for Australian food as much as there was a demand for Australian-themed Ering Zah. I also liked for some reason it made me laugh that when Andy asked a Karen if the shage, if Giselle's shage train is still on time, she goes, it is, it's reckless, it's reckless. I just like, I get you have a reckless train just like going off the tracks but coming

back on like... That's not much Karen know about public transportation. Yeah. I don't trust that train. It's a reckless train. Mm. You know, that train is on time like Sandra Bullock and Keanu trying to save a bus full of a train

full of poor people and even. You ever see Thomas the train? Rackless, reckless train. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can be reckless. So then Andy asked about Sherman, and if Jizal is still in touch with him. And I mean, that seems like forever ago that whole Sherman thing. I can't, I'm like, why do we have to still talk about Sherman? He was never interesting.

Their relationship was never interesting. I mean, thankfully it was like a pretty small part of this, but basically he didn't go Why do we have to still talk about Sherman? He was never interesting. Their relationship was never interesting. I mean, thankfully it was like a pretty small part of this, but basically he didn't go to Candace's wedding, which seems like ages ago at this point, because he was afraid that he'd have to talk to Monique and didn't want to have the conversation publicly. And when he's like, well, we're not gonna do

his blame me for that, and I agree. I mean, Sherman, you did bank some hookers in the park or whatever it was. So allegedly, allegedly, okay and by hookers I mean you banged some hook shaped hooks into a, anyway, the tree. Yeah, he did that but we disagreed on this back in the day, like nine years ago when we were at the talk about this because I say why would you bring the man on camera to talk about banging hookers at a wedding again, you know, but just else like, well, he should have

been there to support to me, which leads us right into our next section of why can't just I'll keep a man. And he's like, so, um, uh, before that, though, before before why can't just I'll keep a man. There was, uh, there was Karen who, uh, well before that though, before before before why can't just I'll keep a man. There was, uh, there was Karen who, uh, was talking when they talked about Sherman and was Karen, Karen surprised that Sherman didn't show up. But he's, well, I was very honest that I didn't receive a phone call from Saks. Yeah, Saks with Avenue gave me a call and said, just, oh, it's broken up with Sherman. Is that true? And he's like, sax called to you, she's,

yes, sax, sax called me. Mm-hmm. What better way to get the word about the street out than from an actual avenue, Andy? Mm-hmm. I thought she was gonna say what I said she got a call from sax, I mean, the friend called her from within sax,

but she's like, no, no, I got a call from sax with Avenue. And then my friend Neiman called and said, did you hear about what Sax did? You should have heard what Nordsie asked to say. It was off the rack, Andy. Rackless, Andy. Rackless. Oh, well, anyway, I have to be off to the wedding

of my two new friends, Lord Anteander. Come on, TJ. Hmm. Have you seen my friend, Be Altman? It's like, it's just going downhill. It It's like and then I called my friend Philein It was busy in a basement so I said listen here Listen here I got out of a bass band you don't blog at the base bitch You have to you have to have made baseman's an ooze baseman's am I aren't alright anyone?

I'm cooking my teeth. So yeah, she literally got a call from Sax Fifth Avenue asking her if they were broken up. It's like a sales call. Karen Huger, you are eligible for the Sax credit card. Oh, there's a little Sherman there. Okay. So what? Even the robots, I did not say that

So let's see here so Karen's like well, you know, I didn't say anything because She's like well, it didn't hurt me. Yeah, it didn't hurt me. Yeah, so you didn't win ah Yeah, and of course as a does the standard I hear a lot of things about Karen in the streets that I do not repeat Like name one that you have not repeated So Andy's like, so do you have a love life? Cause I heard that you have a love life And she's like, well, yes, there's someone I love, a life, a love life Here, ttum ttum ttum Sorry, I just sent that to Jacelle's mouth on accident Council the back number five council the facts So yeah, I was like yes, there is somebody that I have been committed. Uh, yes, and I mean no

I mean yes, there is somewhat I'm perhaps perhaps pursuing me and I'm enjoying the process like come on, Jizal just spit it out. Yeah. And Andy's like, well, I heard that it is your ex-husband, Jamal. And of course it is, you know, which we've already heard all of that. And Jizal's like, well, you know, I know this much. I know that we are not our past mistakes. Unless you're Karen Hugar. not our past mistakes. Unless you're Karen Hugarah. You're in Karen's like, well, I actually heard about this from someone who sits the front view and is church. There's an actual pew that called me. Amazing. It called me. And I said, you know, this, listen, pew. Well, if anybody can stand a chance of making it with, with him, it's Jazeal. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

And then I immediately called up my good friend Penny. You know, Penny saved her and I said, listen, did you hear about Jazeal's new man? More like a old man. Am I right? Do you have any home remedies for how to get a piece of stale bread out of your cheek? Hmm. Stop gossiping over stock. Hmm.

Hmm. She's just down to this cut website now. Yeah. Let me tell you something. There's no fair way to get back into relationships. I learned that from Wayfair, actually. I'm told to be about this. Now, listen to me here, Jazeal.

You're about to be put on Angie's list. All right. So, wait a minute. That's not even the shopping website. I had to pay. So, anyway. I got right okay. So anyway, so just all basically it was like, nobody is who the hell mistakes are. So yeah, we're back to Felicity Hoffman. Oh, okay.

Tell that to anybody in jail right now, okay. No, no, we're telling it to Felicity Hoffman. Yeah. You have to anyone. We're telling it to Felicity for the next two weeks while she's in jail. Yeah, for the five minutes she spends in jail. Listen up Felicity, you are not your mistakes. Okay, you've served your time. Get out.

I'll be married. Yeah, so Giselle goes, Karen's right. Nobody knows me like that man. And just cussed Karen, giving like a pucker of approval. This is a positive pucker. And just all we find out that Jizelle, you know, is back with him and she might be a first lady again. So that's why she's being so nice. And she's even saying things like this, I know Jesus, dad, and Abbot, huh? And Robin's like,

yeah, and that's why Jiz it's so supportive of me and Juan, because she totally gets being cheated on and being trashed and then, you know, like just still making a work no matter what. Like, wrap it up, Robin, okay? You said one line and you can already wrap it up over there. It's time for commercial. It's time for commercial. It's time for it. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.

What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Grappin's commercial! So, um, so now we go on to a Karen segment where you know, it's like we see her morning her parents and then Diving into life and getting a lot of them off the ground, etc And when we come out of it, you know it ends with Karen saying and big news

LaDom is going to be in a retail store soon and when it happens you can go into sad store and buy it because it will certainly be in our store that exists. I heard it from Dressabar now. So Karen didn't have a pop-up in a Barneys. No, Blooming Bells, Blooming Bells. Did you even say Barneys? We had Barneys we never even used it. I think she did. Oh yeah. I think she did pop-up in a Barneys that didn't she? No, Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. Bloomingdale. find the Dom in Bloomingdale's, it's literally in Bloomingdale's, I walked

in with it, and I walked out with it. I didn't say it was on sale, though, it just happened to be physically inside one. It's like honey, how much is a thread count on these tell- Whoa, it's Karen Huber! It's like hello! It's me, Karen Huber, just popping up out of nowhere at a department store any store any store Oh what a nice stroll through TJ max oh Well, I've never been into one of these

bass Wow, I've never been into one of these... bass... sporting goods stores, and this is- OHHHH! Fishing! I like to fish! Here I have some ladom for the fish! Well, thank you for coming to this DICK! So of course I had to pop up in a DICK to get you to visit me, Michael! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I'm not gonna bother those right now, probably because I've been framed so many times. So stupid. So Andy's like, so does anybody have the DOM? Like does anybody actually, is anybody wearing it right now? And Candace is like, um, no, but I do have someone my person, Andy.

She goes, I have it with me, but I'm not wearing it. It's in my suitcase. Which I think should go on the commercial. Ladam, you have it with you, but you're not wearing it. It's in your suitcase. Oh. Oh. So, Andy's like, so Karen, why, you know, everybody says this is for old ladies. What's that?

And she's like, well, it's popular with a wide hue of people Andy hmm wide very wide hue Not totally proper use of hue, but then again, I say words incorrectly all the time It's popular with many people many people some who are 90 and some who are 85. I mean the range is just huge So, uh, Andy's like so why did you think just outlet the launch when she was so terrible to you basically? And it's like, well, I wanted to pretend that my old friend was still there, but I see you Dozalai, do you? Making up stories and I don't own my company And she's like, I didn't say you didn't I said maybe you don't

And Karen and then Karen said you said I'm the face the company and I am not a beautiful face It is a beautiful face that just so happens to have some old shrimp in it's teeth Can't get that stringy piece out And Karen answers in such a current way because she's like yes It is my fragrance and I have a partner and I'm like whoa I don't care either way. I'm not really sure so then I think it's my fragrance and I have a partner. And I'm like, whoa. I don't know. It doesn't cause you the way. Who cares, yeah, I'm not really sure.

So then, I think it's pretty, if you're the face of a fragrance, that's I think good enough if you ask me. Yeah. So she's like, well, I never said anything negative about any who. Mm-hmm. Like you just did.

You called it any who. Okay. After we know that you know how to pronounce you because you just misused it okay You also aggressively ignored it at the at that expo last season when you walk by like oh what else is here at this expo Oh look envelopes that's fun. I wish I had a friend here who was also selling something But I guess I don't any who Andy let's on. Look, I just gave you a plug, Jacelle. Mm-hmm. Ha-ha-ha.

So now they start talking about the Instagram live situation that happened in New Orleans when Karen decided to stay in for the night and just hang out at home because she was emotionally drained. And then Jacelle got mad at her because she went on to IG live, which I still don't think is that big of a deal and who cares. And such a cell is like, well, in my mind, ah, I thought she was in bed, and when I saw her on IG live, I thought it was shocking and funny, and we talked about it in a shocking, funny way.

It was not a shady in any way. I'm like, you literally turned it into a plot point. Yeah, Jacelle. Back fettling Jacelle. While just standing there, I mean, she's got a talent. She really does. So Karen explains herself. She's like, here is what was happening. I was lying in bed and I thought, let me thank the people in the phone.

That's what I call them. That's what I call them. The people in the phone. We all know it's just tiny little facts machines in there. Just sending interesting images to the phone. So I said, hey, thank you all you people in the phone. Next time I would appreciate some cover letters, I know what to expect, but I thank you on the last.

And just like, well, you were making it sound like I talked about, like I was making fun of your parents, and that is nasty to put on me. And Karen's like, what's nasty is you even touching how I grieve even touching it was like, how could you? And then she winks and nods nods to the camera. She's like like, hello camera. Hello, it's still me. It's still me talking about dead parents. Camera. OK, let's pull out a little bit. Let's not get too close.

I don't want you to see the poppy seeds that are in my bicuspid. So I think we go straight from dead parents to Andy going. So Karen, are you renting your house? I'm renting you by it. It I am. Like wow what a transition. And she goes well we're considering all options you know we might buy we might rent we might just squat a little bit just for the fun of it I don't know what I'm done is I put every option in different pot and pan I'm gonna have Rago and shake them all and see what falls out. I'm just gonna start popping up wherever I can Eddie

Karen just pops up in different houses all over Yo, good land So Andy goes so you're renting And then she's like yeah, and he goes so sing frontures the great falls house Of course, why wouldn't it be? I mean we absolutely owned all that furniture because it was absolutely He goes, so Singfronture is the great false house. Yes, of course. Why wouldn't it be? I mean, we absolutely owned all that furniture because it was absolutely our house.

Of course, the same furniture. Mm-hmm. Oh, good. So then we move on to Miss Dorothy. Oh, God. Miss Dorothy. That voice on Miss Dorothy is a screecher. I won't even torture you guys with it today, but wow

I think you should I think you should because my version will be even I can't even get the tone of her voice. We're just doing this like Hollins mom So so Yes, just kidding. So, um, so, so Andy is like, so are you guys still in counseling at which point the women just already each other like with this bitch? I'm not spending an extra second of my time or money. And they do that thing where they back away from each other

on the couch. We are just wacky, a hateful mother and daughter team. Wow. So, uh, so, Andy started talking about the wedding. Was it worth all the fighting in the tears? And they're like, yes, of course it was. And Dorothy starts explaining, oh God, now I've got to try to do the voice. The thing that got me upset was your other people, Candace. I mean, that was a little harsh throwing that up in my face. I mean, that was my trauma. You and your

dad should have handled that. Which I don't know what she was, I don't know what boy that was either. You're like Tom Sandevol imitating Colin from a load. I'm okay with that. Me too actually. I'm really afraid. Candace, dude. Candace. I had her voice like a few weeks ago I feel like. Can can't maybe I should be more in this space So now's Tom Sandevol and doing colleagues mom So the mom is Dorothy is trying to pretend like she was never mad. She was just mad that That Candace told her and she's trying to talk herself out of it But she can't and Andy's like so are you trying to say that you just would have rather, she invite

the brother and not tell you? And she's like, yes, Andy. That's exactly right. Right. I would've been totally fine with that, Andy. And I was like, no. And then someone had this amazing question. Someone basically asked, you know, you were mad at your ex for having a son, but you still

married him. So if you could forgive him, why can't you, why can't Candace have a relationship with her, have brother? And Dorothy's like, I never, I never stopped her from having a relationship. Yeah. And then except for all the times you said that he can't come to the wedding, you know.

Yes. And then she's like, well, the only reason I even knew about it. OK, look, here's mom. I brought him up two times to you Okay, when I found out about him she's oh yeah, and how did you find out about him? She's like Like the most dorthy's making it sound like Candice did some horrible thing by finding out it Yeah, something bad about the brother because and then Candice starts the story She's like well dad had a dad had this poem on his dresser and

Then she starts crying. And then her mother whips out. It's like dual square. Yes, this is so good. So her mother whips out the Kleenex and folds it into a square and hands it to her. And so Candace like does the dab with the square in her eye. And then Dorothy starts doing her own square dab. And then it's a dab off.

They're just like, finding with their stupid square. It's a fooling dab off. And Candace goes, I don't want to cry about this, which AK, I am so about to cry about this. Yes. And the problems, I don't know, something about a problem that said, well, yeah, that's what I got lost in this problem now. It was just that basically that the son wrote a poem to the dad

and said, like, love your son. And Candace saw it and then called up her mom and was like, what the hell is this? Because she thought she was an only child, et cetera. And Monique in the corner just starts snickering. She's like, the family drama of Potomac and Karen goes, it's real, it's real. I'll tell you what else is real.

La-Dom coming to a... A's hardware near you. Yeah, Monique comes back like completely feisty again, because she's like, I don't- what's a mom even doing on the couch? Yeah, she clearly has never watched Atlanta with Mama Joyce or... Yeah, what the hell? Several authors, there have been other moms that have been there. Monique!

Yeah, but she didn't do much this season, so she's just trying to be bitchy about anything she can get her hands on, you know, which I approve of. Yeah. Yeah. So then everyone tries to convince Dorothy that Candace loves her mom so much, and like the evidence of how much Candace loves Dorothy is the fact that Candace was so stressed out

about having to bring up the brother to Dorothy for the wedding, but can just get stressed out like going to Yogurtland. Okay, she's like, I don't want the mocha, do I want the tart. You're hungry over there, Debay. I want the yogurtland just to keep it from popping up. I mention it twice. I'm literally craving Yogurtland now. I'm going to mention it a third time and you'll never, you won't know when it's going

to happen. It's going to happen. My final answer is when it's gonna happen. It's gonna happen. My final incident is your yogurt land. Okay, we'll just keep saying. Oh, well, well, you took filing space, so I just have to, I'm digging into a yogurt land. It takes to yogurt lands to equate to one filing space. Oh, actually that sounds good,

but I think down the street we have a yogurt planet, which is totally different than yogurt land anyone. Well, it's easier. Well, it's easier. Well, it's easier. It's the whole planet. Yeah, just in case anybody's wondering. Oh, yeah.

So then she's like, well, I've been married 25 years, Andy, you know? I mean, I made Candace the person she is today, and then everyone starts cracking up. Like, what are you cracking about? And then Karen, out of nowhere, it's like not about you, Karen, about you Karen you know but Karen's like well I can't for both of you and I encourage you to work through this like what how do you get right in front of my Kate face Karen well to quote a song that I want sang gotta get through this gotta get through this gotta get gotta get got to get through this Karen you did not sing that song. That's not your song

Well, listen you try to walk away and you fall and you try to get up and you stumble or something right? Macy am I right? Macy? Check out my good friend Macy grade. Hey, why didn't you call me last night? It's her last her song So I still love that song. I like the two. I didn't understand why it was a better hit.

It's like something that we all have gone through. Hey, why didn't you call me? I also want to point out what Dorothy is so crazy. She's also denying that she... Because Andy is like... Dorothy is saying things like, well, when a husband cheats on a wife and has outside children, the pain is on the wife and just all is like, have you healed from that pain?

She's like, I think I have. And Andy just goes, I don't. She's like, no, no, I'm totally, I'm totally healed. Yes, Dorothy. Yes, totally healed. Yeah, he's like, so how does this hitting your daughter in the face with your purse fit in with all of this and she's like You just heard one side of the story Andy you want to hear the other side? You're doing great, Collie She pulls out her purse and she shows us first. She and everyone goes Demonstrate on just out. Demonstrate show it on just out Very still magnolias. It's like here in weezer.

So Dorothy's like, well, here's what happened. Okay. She's starting a fight with me and then she's getting in my face. And so she stood up. So I stood up. I'm like, so far you sound amateur in this fight. You know, yeah, she goes, I went by girl and I and she's, she shows that she just spreads her hands out as one does with a bag. Like popping out of a cake with a bag in her hand.

And Andy's having her demonstrate on him. And Andy is like full on improv scene in this, right? He's like standing and then he's like looking with his eyes to see where the bag is coming from, but pretending he's not looking. Like when you're practicing fake slats with your siblings, you know, and then he actually moves his face like he's been hit. It's like, wow, I had the good job. Good job at UCB and the good job.

And basically Dorothy and Candace are full of shit, both of them are because Dorothy literally says, she may have bumped her head into my purse but I didn't hit her and then can't just go and then they're and then and so then Andy's like well she was in pain over this incident and d'arth said well she's a drama queen whatever and then can't just says well my perspective is that I had a welt on my forehead I'm like a welt you did not have a welt on forehead. I mean right after being called the drama queen She's like well, yeah, I know I look like the Phantom of the Opera for five weeks after you know Here's what I know I was decapitated and in a

One of a kind surgery at Johns Hopkins they actually got my head back onto my neck But if it weren't for that surgery, I would be dead. Thanks mother I head back onto my neck, but if it weren't for that surgery, I would be dead. Thanks, mother. So like, well, that's your perspective. Well, that's your perspective. Well, that's your perspective. Well, that is your perspective.

Yeah. So what is Candice's living situation right now? Are you still in your mom's house? She's like, Andy, here's what happened. When we got the house, we both signed our names. Just so happy that my mother's name was in the official signature part and my name was on the back of a page with the doodle. Okay. We both signed our names. Okay. And here I want to show you what this is. And then Monique and the

corner said she said forget the receipt. I'm bringing a whole deed. And she did. She pulled out the classic housewives filing cabinet from behind the pillow and pulls out this huge envelope. And so it's like here, Andy, you can read it. So Andy does that, like pretending to be punched in the face. Like he's really reading it, you know. Me at a museum. That's like, that's called Ben reading the placard at a museum. I'm like, oh, wow, okay, very interesting. I've only read two senses and I'm like, I'm too much too hard. Yeah, I'm really here for the art and not sniffing around for the hot dog bar or whatever.

Is it? So Andy's like, not you personally, that's just what I do. I love the hot dog bar in all of us. I'm always feeling for popcorn or whatever in the museum. Oh, so anyway, he's like reading it and he's like, it says Dorothy and Candace, it does say that. And she goes, therefore, it is my home.

Okay. Okay. A, no, that doesn't really mean anything. It just means that your mom let you be on that paperwork. Okay. And then she goes, so the full mortgage now. And she says, yes, we are. And the mom goes goes if you say so

Mother by the way just because you both signed when she said therefore it's my home It's like and it's your mother's home too and it's your mother's home. I mean how it's so many times Yeah, yeah as well as your home But how many times do you think her mom does stuff and then Candace takes full credit for it? Yeah, she's like, um, it's quiznos and my sub sandwiches. Okay. It's like no, no, no, ma'am. No, it's not. That made no sense. Sorry. Well, we're really building a wonderful like strip mall here. I've been to imaginary quiznos, I think four times of mystery. I haven't been to quiz. I had a period of my life where I ate quiznos

all the time and then out of nowhere, I just stopped. I think it's because that quiznos tried to start doing like like, I mean, they always do like toasted sandwiches but they start doing things like, it's a prime rib sandwich or like, oh look, it's like a barbeque chicken sandwich. I'm like, no, give me just like a toasted deli sandwich. I don't want, I don't want your like shitty prime rib. Yeah, the quiznos really goes far and then they charge you too much.

But did you know that I'm a quiznos, I'm like a quiznos legacy? My family opened the first quiznos in El Paso, Texas when quiznos first came out. And then it failed because people were like, toast and sandwiches. What the heck is this nonsense? It was right by the college, right by UTEP. And then they closed and then quismos became this humongous chain.

And my mom was like, I told you so. Go Sam and I told you all. This is make me want to like get back involved with quismos and by the way El Paso was the answer to a clue in the New York Times Crossword puzzle this weekend. How about that? Whoa, look at that. Ha!

So there's your answer everybody for your Crossword puzzle crew. Spoiler who are the first El Paso QuizNose. And the answer is Rhonda. Rhonda, and there we go. Five of us. So they're talking about, I guess they're still talking about the house.

And Jizzell says that she was talking with Dorothy, and Dorothy apparently volunteered to Jizzell that she was going to pay for the $2 million house that they want to upgrade to. And now Dorothy, of course, is denying that she would ever say that, which it was proms caring in the corner to say oh wow oh the lies lies you have to have to have to believe the lie about two million and so the mom's like I wouldn't even lie about that I'm

a very frugal person she's like I already boughtace a house and it was a million dollars. I wouldn't spend two million, all right? Okay. Thanks for negating this entire conversation that we just had. So Louise from Ohio says, why is Candace allowed to talk about everyone's family? But if Ashley brings up her mom, a butter knife comes out. Candace says, the reason you got hit with a butterknife, because it's because you kept coming into my house and like no, that happened, she kept coming back into the house after you kicked her out with a butterknife, etc. and Candice is basically like, I looked into your beauty little eyes and I saw that you meant to be nasty and disrespectful. Yeah, and so then we get into, then begins the screaming match between Ashley and Candace of who is more of a mooch on other people

Is it Candace who mooch is off her mother or is it Ashley who married a rich old guy for his money like who's the biggest mooch here So I know better back it up here the least accomplished person on this couch Here's the least a pretty accomplished person you are the least accomplished person on this couch you are the least a cop she just keeps repeating herself. She goes into the cumbersome mode and Candace I mean she Candace come she comes strong with fighting words she's like I wasn't picked out of obscurity as you were to be placed in a town home with it to be a black trophy I was like damn oh my god they were going so fast that didn't even catch that but actually yeah Candace goes what do you do? What is it that you do and actually it's like um did I have a brick and mortar restaurant that I was 50%

owner of Do you understand business and which of course Candace doesn't understand she's like I do not like octopus. No, that's not what business is She's like okay, but I don't understand it. Candace literally says I came out of her coach. So whatever she gave me I It's Literally like that is it's no you don't that's the she got that literally Inverted that's the she got that literally inverted. Yeah. Yeah. She was basically talking about nepotism.

She's like, listen. Yes. Okay, anything my mother gave me, I earned because it was my birthright. And that's entitlement not earning. So you can earn it coming out of one vagina, but you can't earn it going in a vagina. It's like a weird entrance and exit sign. And this whole fight just is every line I kept pressing pause to just hear what they were saying.

It was so much so quickly out of nowhere. I just like took like a few select I was like I can't take notes on all of this. I just have to take. I'm running down a few lines. I came out of her coach so whatever she gave me I earned. How does that even make any sense? I don't even know. I don't know why she was even mentioning her mom's coach and then can't and then she's like Michael is in his seventies And he's about to check out and you're just gonna collect that jack she basically is implying that that Ashley is just a huge huge huge gold digger. Yeah, you're both waiting for senior citizens to die. Let's face it Okay, you're not another one of you wins and if somebody does win I think it's Ashley because at least she's doing the work, you know, she's putting up with Michael. She's earning it

Okay, I don't like when people act like they're better than you for not earning their money It's it's never made sense to me Yeah, exactly and what's funny is that here is Ash I'm a Candace accusing Ash of being a digger. And then in this like some moment of calm, Dorothy and Candace are saying how Chris actually comes from a very prominent family that owns one of the largest companies from here to the tip of West Virginia, but he's like very modest about it.

I'm like, so then what does that make Candace? Gold digger, right? I mean, based on the logic going on here, like how, but the point is this, like how are you accusing Ashley of being a gold digger when you are like, you literally, I don't know what Candace does all day, which is a question, but like, when you were now bragging about the fact that,

that Chris comes from like a very, very prominent family. Well, yeah, and it's crazy because Chris doesn't, I don't, from what we've seen on the show, Chris doesn't live off that money, right? Because Chris is poor, like, isn't that the whole point? So Dorothy is using it like as a character thing. Well, he's not, because Ashley's saying, well, he's a bad person too, you two are made for each other

because Chris had some nasty stuff to her on Twitter, which we'll get to. So she's like, you two are made for each other. And the mom's like, well, in his defense, he does come from a rich family. So he couldn't be that bad of a person, you know? It's like, you guys really suck and you do it so intuitively. I mean, wow.

So it's true. So then, Donald from Virginia asks my favorite question of the hour, Candace, what do you do all day? And she has no answer. She goes, trust and believe I have owned all my businesses longer than anyone else has. I had a business on this show. I'm like, what are you talking name one?

Please. Candy Crush is not your business, okay. And then Ashley goes, Oh yeah, well I competed for Miss America. And she starts, she starts like counting her fingers. like she's gonna have a huge list to go down And Candace is like well, what does that shit do for you? She's like oh well people ask me people know me ask around Ask around they know me and she goes oh, yeah Oh, but you know what you're known for being a nasty ho and being a conky-bind. I was like oh my god

for being a nasty hoe and being a conky vine. I was like, oh my god. So how does I know? So how does Dorothy deal with Candace flipping out and Dorothy's like, I'm not happy about it. And Andy says, is her behavior reflective of your behavior? She's like, no, no, no, sorry, I just, my daughter ran into my purse again. And he's like, okay, well thanks, get out of here. Okay, fine. And take your purse with you. And Candice is like, we love you, Mommy. So then there's like a break and Ashy's like, oh. My mom is sending me Dean videos. Oh my god. You think you're like the first person to have a baby for crying out loud. It's not exciting for the rest of us to hear that you're getting videos about your baby. Yeah, and she shows everybody the pictures that she's getting and just goes,

Oh, he doesn't look like Michael there, Ra. Because that baby did come out like a little tiny miniature version of Michael. He's like, hello. Hello, baby. Hello, baby. He's like, hello, I've got. Hello, thing. Hey, what? Hello, I've got business to attend to and deals in such. So, and it's now we go into an Ashes segment.

And Andy says, Ashley, you came into this season healing from your marriage and you had a hard time giving up your Corona habit and what Judgy Judy couldn't help but notice. I'm like, I don't think judgey Judy is a thing Where's watch? So then we see really gross Ashley and Michael clip So it's not my favorite part of the season. I have to say yeah look how in love with you. Yeah, yeah So It's like watching how this house was made No, I said it's like watching heela monsters mate

was made? No, I said it's like watching Heel of Monsters made. It's like one house is made. It's like one Heel of Monster like trying to mate with, I don't know what something smooth. It's a smooth animal. No need to ask, you're a smooth animal. That's for you, Macy. Yeah, it's a smooth animal. Maybe more at yield. So then we get into this fight where Ashley said, well, I put in my work and I'm ready to yield my profits, which she was just making a joke. But of course, now they're all going to jump on this. Yeah, I think I'm missing her saying that, to be honest. She said it was a clip when she was like

Yeah, she got so bad, but it's so true So then are we having a baby are we having a corona? So then it's baby fight time Yeah time for the babies so yeah, cuz there's some talk about the wig and her crazy wig. You want to start with the wig or do you want to end with the wig? You know, I'm glad he brought it up because that wig, I feel like, it was a terrible wig and I was like, that looks like something her mom would wear. So when she said that her mom actually has the same wig, it's like, okay, this makes sense.

So there was some talk about, you know, she was depressed at, and she's hormonal, all this stuff. Typical baby stuff, it was fine. And Michael, you know, why did Michael change his mind about having a child? Because remember last season, he didn't want one, and now he had felt heard and validated. So therefore, he was baby ready, I suppose. So, and then Andy brings up the dad and actually says that she will always forgive her dad, but you know, because she's always holding out

hope that he will come around. Yeah, and then- And she's also like, well did you see the pictures circulating of her dad on the internet that says that the dad looks exactly like Michael Laugh. And so then we get into just she just have daddy issues and she's like kind of yeah so then Andy says okay so here's some here's a tweet that you sent and oddly enough with this tweet we see a screenshot and emojis were blurred out I guess our emojis kind of like proprietary content is sort of interesting I don't know but I think safe is nothing Can we just do nothing in this world anymore? I know.

You're not going to get sued for using your umbouji. Seriously. So Andy reads the tweet. This is from Ashley. He goes, hello, my friends. This mother had journey at the best feeling in the world. I have stepped out of my peace bubble to say I will spare no one at this reunion. Mail order, coach Katie and hamster face Candace will hear what I have to say then I just love how the tweet starts when this like like beautiful Motherhood babies life is wonderful and Candace has a hamster face space Just goes to there and then Ashley's like yeah, Andy

You know what I brought that tree because some people just don't know how to be decent human beings on social media. And Candace, so Candace goes, what do you mean? You don't know how to be a decent person in person, okay? Yeah, so Chris apparently defended Candace on Twitter and he sent some tweet, you know, so it just escalated. And so Candace and Ashley just started bickering. And it cuts to Robin. Robin doing her watching Fox five face, which is when she goes, oh my God.

Yeah, Ashley's basically Chris was like, all Candace said was saying that you wanted to be healthy and then you're drinking Corona, is there something like that? So Ashley's like, he was talking about my miscarriage. And then they're screaming at each other and they're just, yeah, I mean, it's like, screech, screech, screech, screech. And then we get subtitles for this part when Ashley just goes, my vagina was always in your

mouth. Always. And he goes, okay So so then there's like you know one of the things that was in the Ashley montage was Just L saying that actually snuck that baby right in right when the prenup was about to expire Etc. And so Andy's like was there something in the prenup that the money you get more money for the longer the marriage And she's like no, nope. No, there's not But then you talked about it on this show, Ashley, okay. Well, and then what happens basically,

the, what we do learn is that, after five years, there is no prenup. So basically, but the implication is that like she had the babies that way, the, the, right, the, the, the get child right to get child support Yeah, or whatever but Karen's like well, you know, you said the first year remember who you said if it's before five years You just get one million or something to like yeah, I've ended before five years

So they start into this prenup you guys we've all all seen the Ashley's first season, you know, but there were really things that never happened and we know one knew that this prenup rule or whatever. Well, everything is up right before the prenup expired because he's like, I don't know if I want to stay with you past the five years. Yeah, exactly. And like, one of the, I think the point is this, like after the prenup expires, then it's 50-50. So by having the baby, it means that like, they, the women are saying that it's more likely that she will stay in the relationship beyond the five years and then be entitled

to half of his money. Right. So they broke up before that five years, they separated so that they could decide if they were gonna stay together, like if Michael really wanted to give half of her money, a half of his money to her. And then, so they're saying that,

she's like, well, so that's what I'm saying is, it invalidates that argument because she had the baby after that five years was up, so it wouldn't matter. It's like crazy. So it's hard to follow, because it's a lot of y'all. Yeah, yeah, and I don't know why we are like, so help that out. I know because it goes on, because it goes on,

so every time I scroll my notes, they're still talking help out. I know because it goes on. Because it goes on. So every time I scroll my notes, they're still talking about it. That's why I started everybody. No, so then eventually, then Andy's like, so on the date that Ashley gave birth, Candace, you tweeted, where is your income, Roach, you laid on your back to get the $2 you do get, I bin had jobs while you turn tricks.

Any regrets about that? You want to apologize? And she goes, for what? It's like maybe for doubting her intentions to get pregnant, considering she gave birth that day. Oh god, that's Candace's favorite thing is calling people a roach online. She calls some viewer paycheck to paycheck roach. I mean, gross. Candace is really vile.

And on a show where people really get low down, Canvas is the worst. I mean, even as she stops at one point, she's like, God, you really, you're really bad. Like, what, you're just vile. She is really vile. And I am so proud of her. You know what?

Because last season, she was just like this, kind of like a little bit of a dormat and this season, she's like, you know what, I'm gonna commit to being vile and God bless. That's what we need on these shows sometimes. So I say keep being vile and I wanna see you next season. Yeah, so Andy's like, well, that rainbow party, which was already about a miscarriage

and then Ashley is talking about her miscarriage and then Michael is crying and you were doubting doubting that i mean what was going on with that i mean it seemed pretty nasty and she's like well but i was trying to say is it i didn't believe his intention and he goes well what was what do you think the intention was and she goes attention intention attention attention andy yeah says the woman who is like currently folding yet another tissue to to dab her her tears Yeah, so then Well, I think what you're trying to say is um, you know, you were saying that he was doing it for the cameras and she's like

Unpossibly possibly that's what I'm saying Andy and he's like, okay Well knowing this knowing that Michael allegedly Groped someone the day that he was crying about the miscarriage, you know, is that what you were talking about? Is that what she found weird? I was like, geez, Andy. Just push it right along, Andy. Push it right along.

Yeah, exactly. So then Ash is like, you're on a whole other level. And Candace is like, so are you from beneath my shoe. From my panels, Your husband's panels? They were basically having an argument about altitudes. And so then, um... Tell you guys, let me keep this hands to himself and you with all your Tom's, Dixon Harry's in you.

I was like, whoa, geez, geez. So then they just devolved into going, Facts, facts, facts, facts, facts, facts. Mmm, facts of life, they have a great store. That's where the Dom is featured in the merchandise store. No, it was in the store. Not a roast. So then, then all of a sudden Michael starts to show up and he's got full on back sweat, which they of course put on camera. And then he's like watching from some balcony, like God.

Like a bald head in Romeo and Juliet seen he's like Al Swerige and from Deadwood He's just like this old guy in the top of a saloon looking down and he's sweating and he's like chewing like tobacco or something He's like with his arms crossed looking down on Deadwood like I'm gonna No way I could grip anyone my arms across that's why I do it and as they show poor Michael walking up the back stairs I'll sweaty the music's like don't don't put the boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom I added a Didgeridoo to that just to set the scene. Oh, I was wondering what was going on over there. It's like, God, it's amazing how we hear songs differently. Thank you for that Didgeridoo, Maisie. Yes.

So, guys, that was the end of part one of Potomac. Such a fun time. We will be back. Our next episode will be Marit Medicine, and then we will have below Dachman Yana and go to watchwrapins.com to get your tickets. Hopefully we'll see so many people next week in Charlotte in Nashville and we'll be back later and so again hugs to the caroms. Thank you Mumbas. We'd love you guys We'll talk to you in the next episode. Boing!

Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.