Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Say Yes to the Turkey Dress

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

This week on Real Housewives of Potomac, Gizelle snubs half the cast and Karen buys a second vow renewal dress that may or not be made out of turkey. This week's bonus is a shot by shot breakdown of the Dear Evan Hansen trailer. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I've got a cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker cracker Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Coroppans. The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about

on Yeo props. I'm Ronnie, guess who I'm with today. His name is Ben, hi Ben. Hey Ronnie, what's up? How are you baby? I am doing great, Lysha Natova, happy New Year to my fellow Jews out there in the world. It's Rache Shana today.

Yes, happy New Year to my fellow Jews out there in the world. It's Ruchishana today. Yes, happy New Year's everybody. It's crazy how old am I in Jewish years? 6,000 years old. Congratulations. Well, it definitely makes me feel better about my underarm flaps. Thanks for that. Thanks for validating that. Thanks for that. Thanks for validating that. Everybody, welcome to the show. It's been a long weekend. We took a nice long weekend,

little Labor Day action. Hope you guys all did too. So now we are doing a little catch up. But man, what a fun episode of Real Housewives of Potomac. Always. It's just always. It's always so good. It's every time. It's always so funny. They're such funny people No, I love Potomac and I don't think there's anything for us to really babble on about beforehand

I think we can just dive into it right? I don't anything we have to announce anything we have to Declare anything not yet not yet anything on you. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Say tune on that for us. We'll have some announcements later this week of some exciting stuff. Now, you know, we can't announce anything until people slide them on a little dotted line. Okay. But when they do that, then we're gonna announce some shit. We're very excited about it. Okay. It might be a film starring me and Sandra Bullock. It might not be that at all. It's called hope floated. So I have to, yeah.

We do have some, we're gonna say this, we have some stuff to announce in September. It's gonna be really exciting. Everyone should just stay tuned and keep an eye on social media because you do not want to be left out. Yeah, okay. So let's get into Real House as a Potomac now. Potomac, you know, it's a good season when everybody is just going crazy on

Twitter and they were going nuts this week. I mean, I had the best time reading comments on Twitter. What happened? Tell me everything. Well, just, you know, based on the show, like people, um, Candace with her forehead negativity. Okay. Like in her forehead comments. And then everybody posting a Candace with her forehead negativity, okay? Like in her forehead comments and then everybody posting Candace season one forehead, which projecting a little there, okay? And I'm no forehead changer. I'm no forehead shamer, okay? I've got a big giant Charlie Brown head, so I don't do that.

But you, ma'am, are a forehead shamer and you might want to, like watch your first season, okay? So I saw that on Twitter, that was cracking me up. And then there's a lot of people like who are really hardcore pro-candis and saying that everyone else can get away with things on this show, but if Candice does it, everybody gets mad at Candice, which, no, that's not true. I mean, everybody gets mad at everybody all the time.

I guess what I'm saying is the team Like the team taking everybody taking a side is really intense this year There's like really intense sides and I guess I don't really see why I kind of like everybody this year Yeah, well, I mean at least she's being funny. I mean, she's horrible today But she's still herself, but I think everybody's doing such a great job this year. I don't understand, you know, the video. I think I think the cast is fantastic. I'd like Candace in that. I like that the role that she plays is not quite villain, but Brad, you know, I think that the Brad role works really well on this show. I don't know if other shows would do so well with a brat, but

considering that this show is anchored by two villains, which is really, that's not something we've seen outside of really Ramona and Luan, right? So we have Karen and Jacelle, our two villains, and there's really not room for a hero. So there's no one that's truly, truly likable. And so Candice plays the role of the brat really well. She really did lean into the forehead shaming. You know she made the first joke I was like, oh that was funny, but she'll probably catch some heat for it. And then I was like,

oh she's she's leaning in. And I think she thinks that we're all on board with this. And I don't know how this is going to work out. I mean, hello, Tara Banks has a famous large forehead. You don't want to get on Tyra's bad side. That's for sure, right? Yeah, I mean, I just don't really get it, but there's like a lot of forehead. There's a lot of people with big foreheads upset this week on Twitter, and a lot of moms who are like, you're mom saving me, which, you know, I have been saying this whole season, like, what's her deal with that? She has been always coming after. It's like, you gross, you make milk with your boobs. Don't even talk to me Yeah, I actually don't oddly enough. I don't think Candace's mom shaming

I think that Candace's whole thing is that she props shames So it just so happens that Ashley's prop has been has been breast milk I think if you've been yeah, I think that if she just been holding like harmonicas She'd be like and get get your harmonicas out there too I think it just like it just how happened to me that there was breast milk in her hands I know because she keeps also saying stuff like isn't she dilating right now? Oh, yeah, all right, baby dropper Alright DNA zerox machines get out of my face

Yeah, it's it's a weird. It's a very weird thing that we're all, we've all picked up on. Like she's for sure mommy's shaming, by the way, I was joking about the prop shaming, she's for sure mommy's shaming. And it's a projection of her own strange issues that are internalized strife with her mother, I'm sure, which is hilarious. But also, you know, she, if she pushes too hard on that forehead thing, she's gonna be in trouble because guess what? Karen has a big forehead too,

and she's just learned how to hide it after a few years. Because the first few years Karen's forehead was out and proud, and now she hides it, right? But you don't wanna upset Mama Bear because she's your only ally right now. I think it's so hard on this show. It's hard to know who's allied with whom at any given moment.

Yeah, true. So, okay, let's start the last line from the previous leases. Take your milk and get the fuck out. Just in case there was any question about the mommy shaming. Slash prop shaming. Yeah. So we start Ashley with Ashley changing a baby diaper and then the baby fart center face The baby's like I'm sorry I farted in your face But at least you've lost some weight recently. So that's great for me. Why? Why? Listen, I can't technically speak yet But that was my way of saying that on team candy is win-win-win was my wife saying that on team candy is win win win win. Mommy gets your fucking diapers

and milk out of my butt because I need to fart. Where we. So there's a baby form. We go over to Ray and Karen and Karen still leaning into her. The love of her. I mean Ray is still alive to this day. And he's giving her a foot massage. And she's like, I feel a squat, baby. Ray, I want to talk to you about the renewal of the vows. I already got the wedding gown. And for the second dress, he's like the second dress. And she's like, hmm, I can have two grounds.

And then it just kind of, he looks at her like, it just like ends. It's like a little higher. With a ray shocked face, Ray's just staring at her pulsing waddle, like oh Jesus, how much is this gonna cost? So we go to Mia in her closet. It's like, maim, dial, dial, dial on the phone

because my house is too big to leave lunch feeling better than before. I'm wondering should I be extra fab for me as lunch, you know, because I just want my mom to leave lunch feeling better than before she got me. Okay, and her subriding is really important to me, and I want her to stay on the straight narrow, and I'm so proud of her. Meanwhile, spoiler alert, she orders her mama, lemon cello, and makes her rehash childhood drama. Really, really nailed it, Neal, with the keeping your sober and happy. I can't wait for my mom to stay sober over a lunch named after a drink that we're both going to drink.

Hey, mom, I'm taking you to a place called dirty martinis. I just want you to stay sober. I'm gonna take you to a place called Lines. Alright, I'll take you up in 20. Hey mom, so I'll meet you at BeerBong. Okay, see you there. I mean, wow, this show. We'll get to that, but I was like, it's pretty, it's pretty,

oh, we're terrible for laughing that hard, but seriously. We're laughing at Mia, we're not laughing at this poor mother. Because Mia's in my, I just, it was just so, it was just so, Mia, she's like, it's important, it's for us how I'm feeling feeling. I don't want to see anything that will be responsible for her relapsing Which is why I'm gonna trick her into relapsing before I even say anything Yeah, she doesn't want to say anything that's gonna get her to relapse Which is why she pronounces lemon chello lemon cello. She's like no, it's not alcohol

It's called lemon cello. It's a cello meat of lemons that you can drink. It was just an Italian guy and that's what he used to say as a little kid on the corner. Lemon, Salo, lemon, Salo. He just had to sell his lemons. That's how you sell lemons in Italian. Lemon, Salo. Man, it's hanging so lemons and Italian lemon cello It's like the extra extra kid but with lemons Extra extra kid Lemon's got your lemons. Hello, so

so Now we got a Wendy We got a Wendy's house. Okay guys, you know Wendy's house. Okay guys, you know, fucking windy. Of course, Wendy. Actually, I was shocked that Wendy has a sign in her bedroom. I never noticed my first thing I know. I can't stand behind this sign. I can't do it. Okay, Wendy. I like you. Glad you're on the show. Hate the sign. I hate these fucking home goods. This is us. This is us. I mean, it's not even it's not even original. It's an NBC show about people who cry Constantly I can't what this is us. Okay, my sister was like, you know what? I found a good show. It's called this is us So I watch that shit. You know what that show is people sobbing for an hour

Yeah, no, I watched one episode and one of the characters. I guess as an actor, I guess like the Hawkeye who left Creshell He he plays an actor I think and I watched an episode where he was like on a set with Sylvester Stallone who I think was maybe playing himself and Sylvester Stallone at this point looks like he's wearing a mask of Sylvester Stallone on his face and I know he's like comes everywhere dressed as Jackie's still lone space. And he is. So I seem to remember it was like he was giving some

modland advice about like, yeah, well, you know, it's nice. You got to be with the ones you love. And then people were crying and I was like, what is this bullshit? So that was my review of this is us. Yeah, I watched it one time and someone's like, oh my god, I have cancer. And then they're like, uh-huh. And then someone's like, oh really? You have cancer? Well, I, my leg just got chopped off by a school bus. And someone's like, really? Well, I haven't eaten this sort

of anything that way. I was like, but what about the guy with cancer? Oh, really? What about the guy missing? Oh, really? Well, I three. I'm like, Oh my God, it's like the depression Olympics on that show. I know. Well, I once one time I was on a plane and I watched a movie on someone else's seat. You know, when you do that, when you just don't, you're not listening, you're just watching what someone else is watching. And they were watching a movie with Chrissy Metz, who's on This Is Us. And the movie was not this is us, but it felt like it belonged in this, this is us extended universe because it was like Chrissy Metz who's on This Is Us. And the movie was not This Is Us, but it felt like it belonged in this, this, this is us extended universe because it was like Chrissy Metz and it was a kid and the kid was like went out onto a pond, a frozen pond and of course fell into the ice

because of course, and then like the entire movie is like Chrissy Metz and other people just praying for the kid. And I was like, this is a, this is us movie and I, I, I, I review it. I'm not going to do this. And of course the lady is crying on a plane. I'm like lady why like You're on a plane. Why did you you know this movie? It says the script It's like you know it's about a childhood falls with the ice and Chrissy Metz praying like you know you're gonna be crying Why are you doing this to yourself? Wow, well if she follows it on you, just kidding.

That was a line from the next scene, but wouldn't that be funny? Gordon's like, well, she follows it's all on you. Wendy. So the point is this, the NBC Universal tie-in, listen, we're used to a lot of that on Bravo these days because we keep getting assaulted with these various e-shows that pop up, but this is too much that this is us word art. And Wendy, you are a professor, you have four degrees. Okay, and I know that you as a professor

no longer want to be put into a box, but like, come on. But you're literally putting yourself into a box and you're like, this is us. It is truly your defining, you're being very defining in those moments. Okay, so Wendy's has some her terrible, terrible thing in her room. So then Eddie is telling the kids, okay, I'm going to go talk to your mom.

I don't think the little baby should be up on the counter like that. And I'm like, oh, dad, it's fine. He goes, okay, fine. Well, she falls, it's on you. And then he leaves, which is kind of an interesting parallel to later in the show, right? Yeah. Everything. So then in the show, right? Yeah. Um, so then, um, and the bedroom, he comes in, he's like, are you working hard? And she's like, did you guys miss me?

And he's like, cruise miss you the most. And she's like, it's just crazy. And she starts crying and telling him about Williamsburg and stuff. Yeah, because, you know, I just found it so ironic that the person who has the most volatile marriage decides to come to me with this fake rumor and he goes, lies, lies, lies, I've lived my life a certain way and that ain't it. So to drag me into this mix and the nastiness is downright mean and we went through so much even be married and we sort of relive their past about how we basically had to like his family, this owned them

for getting with Wendy, et cetera. Yeah, and she's crying. And then she's like, for just so detour and attack him and spread these rumors, it's hurtful. And he's like, listen, I'll say this, you have to be hurt to project hurt under some, okay, thanks Eddie, thanks.

Okay, why don't you put why don't you go to home goods and get a hurt people hurt people signs you can put under that this is a sign okay stop talking in home goods you too I know stop getting therapy from home good signs okay what's he gonna say next love lives here so he's like that and here's what I have to say about this kitchen. You're just reading the side through the door. Here's what I have to say about it. Forgot you.

So he's like, now listen, that is just callie and T. Here's a listen, Wendy. There's one thing I know. It's this. Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris, Paris. A lot of Paris is on that side. Yeah, a lot of Paris. Paris in ten different languages.

Like Gretchen used to have on Real Housewives of Orange County. Thank you, Paris, and so many languages. Paris, Paris, Paris. Well, as a very wise cat,, parents, parents. Well, as a very wise cat, one said, Wendy, hang in there. So she's like, she can't truly be happy for you and then make you feel that way, that doesn't make sense. And she's like, that's how I feel.

I don't expect them to understand my reaction because they've never experienced the love that you and I have and they never will. Wow. Okay. So I mean, it's still crying, which is weird. I, you know, I kind of agree that her her reaction maybe is a little overcompensating. Yeah. Yeah. But it may be overcompensating less beak to cover from some scandal or maybe it's just because Wendy has grown up under the microscope of her mom and various expectations that she acts a certain way so for as much as she talks about how she

You know doesn't want to fit be stuck in a box and she wants to be a professor, but also sexy I wouldn't be surprised if she feels the scrutiny of her mom at every moment. And like her mom being like, did you done you? Did you done you? So now she's like, oh no, everything's wonderful. True. Mother. And also she's dealing with, you know, she's a second-season housewife and she really

hasn't dealt with any drama yet as far as, you know, it being in the paper and all over school that your kids are having to go to school in here like your dad's cheating and all. So yeah, I can imagine that that's probably rough. Yeah. So, um, we then go to Giselle's house where she's setting up, um, her podcast equipment for her podcast with Robin and Robin shows up and, uh, struggles with which we've all we've all encountered those sliding doors before and of course GZL has one like of course GZL has a sliding door that's like nope I will not open for you nope if you want to open me you have to put me sort of on an angle and that's weird for all of us and Robin who is a house flipper but didn't help with this remodel at all which is fishy. Says like, well I hope this door isn't new, this cannot be new. And you're breaking it even more raw! So it's almost Robin's birthday, but now we're gonna concentrate on the new podcast.

Yeah, so the episode name that they're doing is called Break Up or Make Up Ah! And, Jizel tells us that they have a deal with I Heart and their show is called Reasonly Shady. So, they start recording their episode and they start talking about cheating. And Jizel starts rattling off various statistics about men cheating. And 22% of men cheat. DAAA! And so, ultimately... about men cheating and 22% of men cheat and so ultimately she's doing this of course she's doing this with all the windy drama going on right Yes, he's fucking so so so she's basically talking about windy and

She's saying now Robin if a man cheats with each again Statistics say if he cheats once, it's a 350% chance. You'll cheat again. And I say dang, somebody should have told me that like two years ago. Wah. Which is like,

whoo! It was the first time that Giselle seems to have acknowledged this notion that Jamal actually did cheat, et cetera. Also, where are these statistics from? She doesn't cite anything. Wow. So The producer basically asked Jacelle, you know, what she have done anything differently two years ago Given that she like, you know regarding the cheating, et cetera

because for she seems kind of like stumped and shocked by this like nothing. I mean, I was a joking So it seems like for a moment she's gonna backtrack, but then she kind of So it seems like for a moment she's gonna backtrack, but then she kind of Does go with it and she says well, I can read all these statistics in the world I just have her own statistics and I've learned you stay with that man long enough. Yeah, he's cheating on you Wow Oh my gosh, so basically if she's staying with that man who already cheated or if you're just with a man long enough He's gonna cheat on you. I thought she was saying that Jamal, she's talking about Jamal. Like if you stay with Jamal long enough, he's gonna cheat on you. Okay, yeah, I couldn't really tell if she was saying like if you're with a man long enough, he's gonna cheat on you because

a minute shit had cheaters or she just meant Jamal, you know, I thought she meant Jamal. I thought she meant Jamal. I mean, so what is that way? It's more fun. I thought you mentioned all I'm it's wise that Karen spread so I guess Karen did spread I guess the only thing she could say is the big lie that Karen spread is that he impregnated someone from the church right maybe Yeah, maybe or that Arizona was doing phenomenally well Yeah, and you know someone did tell you that once a cheater always a cheater and his name is Ronnie He's on a podcast. I think the perlissum too. I think there's a good chance that if you go back to season one, Jacelle probably said once cheater always a cheater or maybe seasons one through four.

She probably said that. I'm just going to take credit for any sayings like somebody has said to you before and you just didn't listen and that was Bless this home. All right Just well, I decided that if it's a one night thing Many went to a bachelor party in a stripper came in you and you lost your mind. That's one thing But if it's a lifestyle, I'm not signing up for it. Ah because I like to feel like I feel like how you I feel about me will always be more important how I feel about a relationship but Okay, there's so much wrong in what she just said

If you cheated on me, but it was just for fun, okay, but if it's a lifestyle choice No, and you know what I'm the most important thing in a relationship Wow, I hope your daughters aren't listening to any of this because this this is all terrible advice. Okay, just let them go out and do their own thing. Also, like the, you know, one to a bachelor party and troopers came in and you lost your mind, that is like the story of Michael Darby. So she better be more leaning on Michael if that's how she feels. Yeah. So she's not that I want her to be more lenient on Michael. Like, yeah, imagination, especially after this episode. No one needs more of Michael, but you know, she's saying she's been on Ashley for that for years. And now she's like, well, that's okay.

But, um, okay. So then we go to, uh, Robin saying she's not shocked that, you know, just elicit with Jamal anymore. And then Robin talks about her experience with Juan. And she's like, whoa, my experience was a little different than most peoples because we were married and won cheated. And then we got divorced.

And then at some point we rekindled, but then early on, I was young. And I didn't know what was going on, but I just chose to ignore it. And I thought there's no way I'm just gonna walk away now. And so they both just revealed huge things on this podcast. And just also, wow, I've never heard you even say that out loud before. Yeah, I used to cry myself to sleep.

Whoa, I cried myself to sleep too, because I wanted to be Jewish. Get off my show! Go back to New York! Calling in, calling in! Hi! Robin and Jaisal. off my show! Go back to New York! Calling in, calling in! Hot! Roban and Jizo! This is my own assingra from real housewives of New York City!

Okay, I just want to know... This! Can I be Jewish? No! Go! Hello, I'd like to call into this podcast. Hi, I'm out cheating. This is still kind of cheating. If the man is caught kissing someone at the

Regency on a Wednesday night is that cheating? Because I threw out a whole lot for that shit. Hello, this is Sonia Morgan calling. I just wanted to say that nobody cheated on anybody except when Tom cheated on me and such with my girlfriends who have both called you. Hello, this is a Fakal Barbie and I'm asking, does it count as cheating if your wife had a baby and now her vagina isn't ready so you naturally have to turn to a stripper? asking for a friend. So Robin is talking about Wantsol. She's like, you know, it was like, good old her. I don't have patience for that BS. And I don't have tolerance for anything less than what I deserve. And just else like, yeah, well, now that we've revealed such things, I checked in on one of my girlfriends because I had some concerns and wow, she took it as me being shady Can you believe that? She took it as me being shay. I was just checking in on her I just wanted to make sure my girlfriend was okay

You know, I think that friendship is about talking about the good the bad And the ugly and if you can't even talk about that, then what are you left with, just a sign that says, this is a saw in your empty bedroom. Yeah, just being a good person, guys. Just I'll just brought all these cheating rumors on camera to be sweet. So Robin's like, well, you know, people are humans.

Which was pretty profound, actually, if you just stop and think about it guys just stop As I once said on this show many years ago The only normal people you know or the ones you don't know very well Okay, and as I once said on this show it's five o'clock somewhere am I right ladies? Oh gosh, it's time for commercial I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert-expert.

Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to,

I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or when you're 10 years old and you decide to put on a skit. And you say, okay, your thing is that you are, you work in an office and you're having a busy day. Like, okay, I got it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Can you hold, can you hold please? Can you hold please? Yes.

Sorry, I'm very method about it. Let's go take this call. What, I was in the skit. Oh, I thought you actually had a call. I thought you were being. I was just being a method actor in the skit. Oh, oh, I thought you actually had a call. I thought you were being... I was just being a method actor in your skit. That's how I was as a kid, okay? I was very accurate.

If you told me I'm in an office skit, I would say, hold please and start taking a call while you get me the rest of the time. Oh, I see. No, but like this would be like, so busy, very busy right now. I've got meetings, I've got agendas, meetings. I have, the report is due for the work for the meeting

and we're never gonna get this done and the company's about to go under. And that's basic, Candace. Just like tapping your fingers on the table. Broom. Broom. Broom. Broom. Broom. I'll be right there. I've got a phone call. One second, please. Yeah, she was. And so Chris comes in and she's like, well, I have a group meeting coming up. We're trying to figure out what to do because we had assignments do while I was away in Williamsburg

and I did not get my group assignments done. And he's like, yeah, well, that's a master's degree program. So can I be kind of do those assignments? Yeah, by the way, her, you know that like the other MBAs are just like, paid her. They because they're actually in it to be MBAs and not to like have something not to have a plot line on a reality show. So she's like, I just have so much stuff to do because it's the video shoot that's totally unnecessary in my life right now, but I decided to do it anyway. And my NBA is just, I'm so busy, busy, busy. And so Chris is like, and there's people behind the scenes like me who are helping with all this. So he's like, always kind of like reassert that he has some sort of relevance in life by announcing this.

Yeah. And he's like,'s like, I did send you that choreography video while you were out there. Did you do that? She's like, love that. Yeah, we actually had a dance off. We really, really had fun. He's like, God, you really need fun because there's just all this stuff

that you've given yourself to stress out about. Yeah, and she's like, yeah, because, well, we need fun because Jiselle was being messy. And what did his shirt say? I go to the high-war proctor. It said something like that. And I was like, I started to look at it and I decided I just didn't want to even go there.

I was over it. I think I was taken out by that this is a sign in Wendy's room that I just didn't want to bring any more bad, you know, message things. So then, uh, yeah, he's like, she says, yeah, does that was being messy? She asked me, do you feel like Chris is riding on your co-tails and he goes, I think he just is like, no, like he's clearly riding. It's sad because it's like, he's writing on the co-tails of like a CB jacket, right?

There's like not really even co-tails. It's just like puffing winterwear. Yeah, and he just kind of takes a moment and snorts. And then he's like, well, here's the thing about that, right? Okay, you've supported me in every single thing I've done, including being a hostess in my restaurant because we didn't have a full staff. And this is my opportunity to support you. And you know what? Some people are just never going to understand that.

And Candace is like, yeah, well, just that has been squarring. And she's projecting that onto my magical Ebony and and ivory love story. So where about yourself bitch? Yeah, this is this show has basically turned into everyone accusing everyone else of projecting their anger onto everyone else. Like it's my relationships are great. You're just jealous. That's what they're all doing to each other. It's a bunch of people in terrible relationships blaming each other for projecting their terrible relationship onto their terrible relationship. You can all be in terrible relationships blaming each other for protecting their terrible relationship onto their terrible relationship,

you can all be in terrible relationships at the same time. Yeah. And Candace is also really trying to turn Ashley, she's really trying to revive the Ashley feud because she goes, and then Ashley, she was there for like four hours to start some mess. And I don't know what's wrong with that. Like the whole thing is that it was nice, she like came by to hang out.

And so Chris is like, well she could have been trying to come from a good place. Because I don't think so. Because I can tell you how I know. When we finished with the whiskey tasting, I went into the kitchen and Ashley and her forehead were in there getting breast milk because she was ready to leave. And I saw her gleefully in the fridge laughing. Well that didn't go the way I thought it was gonna go. Well that didn't go and then we see footage and it's just Ashley being like, well that didn't

go the way I thought it was gonna go. It was like totally innocent and benign. Yeah, she was gleefully getting her titty milk. Okay, wow. So, um, she's tells us, oh, and y to say oh Candace Ashley is changed Ashley's the mother now no forehead You are messy forehead Yeah, it's that it doesn't work as well as like pie ashy. I think that she's trying to have a moment like that so Candace is like I just don't have time for her. Like you're gross, you're gross.

Well, that's a little bit harsh. She's like, yeah, she's like, you're trash. So then we cut to Dylan crying in the car, basically how we would all feel being stuck in the car with Derby. And they arrive at some sort of therapy place. And she's like, oh, I need to smack. I'm basically a walking smack. Ha ha ha ha.

Yeah. And they go in to meet with this woman. I think her name is Carrie, who's a massage therapist. And she really do you think so because she has a wooden sign and her says, inhale, love, exhale, gratitude. Oh, fuck, sake. But I feel like that matches a place like this. That's giving baby massage. Inhale, love, exhale, gratitude. Oh fuck, sake. But I feel like that match is a place like this. That's giving baby massage, you know?

So she is, the issue is that Dylan is not latching and he's having a hard time taking a bottle. And so there's a chance that they may have to, he may have to have like a little bit of a surgery to fix that. And so Ashley tells us that she's up every hour feeding him because you can only eat a little bit of a time because you can't stick to the bottle. So she's up every hour. And so she doesn't have the energy to give Michael. So as just in

summary, because Michael needs more attention from Ashley, this child will may need to have surgery. Yeah, basically, I'm sure it's more complicated than that. Michael wants to bone more, so she might have to get the baby surgery or whatever. Also, this baby must be more like Ashley than the other baby because this baby, like, if it was more like Michael, Michael has no problem watching onto a nipple. He, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, he, like every nipple and town. Yeah, exactly. He did not get that trait from his father.

So, so then Michael, all of a sudden, starts grilling this massage therapist. He's like, before we can start, before we start, can I talk to you a little bit? Can I ask you some questions? Can I ask you what your credentials are? Can you tell us about some of your best results with children?

How long are your breasts? Do you like when grown men suck along them? She's like, well, my license is as a massage therapist. And I've been doing that. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Now he's what I need to know from you, Carrie. Tell us some of the happiest endings you've ever given. And can I be expecting one in this meeting? Michael, she's a massage therapist, honey. Have you ever been to the MGM? Did you enjoy it?

And do you appreciate discretion? He's what I want. I want a story about how you help somebody. So she's like, well, well, okay, here's one. I had one mom that had given up nursing, and then we had a session and she never had problems nursing again. Okay, McCary?

I don't believe that story. There's not enough details in there, okay? But I'm on your side in this one. So Michael's like, well, tell us what your greatest achievements have been. If I'm gonna start some type of project with you, I just need to make sure I'm finished off properly. Are you good at finishing off? Yes and no, Kiri.

If I were to hire you for my office, which is filled with ladies who love babies and my wife with a call and I weren't in the office, would you tell her, I'm busy in the meeting or would you tell exactly where I am? Just wondering. Now listen, have you learned things, let me pop my lips a little, that's how I think I look smart but I look really creepy, hold on, am I creeping out enough, yeah, okay, here's this. Now, I know that a lot of people have pride, but if you weren't able to help my baby, are you good at swallowing that pride and admitting it. Just let me know, Kiri. How good are you with cameras? I guess my question is more like, if perhaps I decided to

group a cameraman's ass, would you be able to film it or would you not film it, just wondering. All right, it finished this question. Bros before. All right, you're fired. You can't even finish it. So she's, she just takes the baby and starts doing her massage thing. And she's like, one side is tighter than the other on this baby. So you know what, we're going to massage this tummy. Up warning, he might have a really stinky poo poo after this. You

see, you're not really different than my regular girl with the massage baller. That's all I need to know. So you might notice his balls go faster every single time. By the way, I love that prediction that in four or five days, he may have a pretty stinky poop. I think that babies have pretty stinky poops like every day, is that me? I don't know. I never had a child. I just had to assume that part of the process. I mean, I have stinky poops every single day, so.

I know. If this was a scene with any other couple, I would have been on Carrie's ass the whole time. But it's with my colon, it's like, okay, choose the bigger evil here. It's Michael. Because you got to somebody who tells you your baby's gonna have a stinky poop.

I mean, what do you have in your poop? Dylan was so confused by the entire process. Dylan was like, what is happening? Why is this lady like massaging me? Like, I don't think Dylan understood massage yet as a concept. It was very, it was like, can I go back to mommy now? Thank you. Wait, wait. So Michael, it's like, uh, can I go back to mommy now? Thank you. Yeah. Wait a minute. So Michael's like, well, thank you very much.

You did a great job and just like leaves a 20 in her cleavage. So, um, they go back in the car and they're still talking and I asked you, like, well, my hope is that this is the only measure we have to take. And he goes, well, you know, the thing that matters most that we have more time with each other So he keeps pushing this thing like he's so needy. We just need him to sleep a little later So we can have more time to get our bone on and she's like well I mean, I appreciate that you know you're spending time with me even though we're not able to have hardcore intimacy You know, it's just that I'm not prepared down there yet I mean mean, did you watch the baby come out? He's like, I saw the

baby. We up it. Did you see my vagina opening like a garage door on a spaceship? Listen, you're not talking about you're talking about it. Like I'm watching your vagina. All right. I'm not I'm watching my son being born right behind the notifications on my Apple watch. Anyway, somehow you giving birth completed one of my activity rings. This is amazing, don't they? You know, the thing is, I'm just like listening to you chuckle back there. The thing is, I thought we lost connection.

No, no, I'm just gathering my thoughts here, which is that I think it's kind of fucked up that she has to adopt a semi-apologetic tone about this whole situation. Like, oh, thank you for being so patient with me, even though we can have sex right now and I'm not quite prepared. And he's not like, oh, honey,

like you should be taking the, like take all the time you need It's your body you've just gone through something really intense. I'll never understand that you know, and he's like Like he's like she is like taking on this burden of Totally of like oh this is all like she's living in fear She's living in fear that if she doesn't spend enough time with him that he's gonna go off and cheat again and like Like this is not right, you know, and this is like one of these things like men Like we shouldn't be like oh well, you know, I didn't put in that time

So of course he's gonna cheat like that's like I think we should be holding our men up the higher standards I know well That's the thought process remember when her mom was over her apartment She's like well honey, you know if men don't get it at home, they're gonna go get it somewhere. It's like, excuse me. This is what your tell your daughter, what the hell? Yeah, then Michael makes it even worse. Not only is she falling over herself apologizing

for something she has no reason to apologize for, but he's like, well, you know, you certainly don't look of a weight in any shape of form, so that's great, I'm still attracted to you, so that's one thing you've got going for you, you know you certainly don't look over weight in any shape of form so that's great I'm still attracted to you so that's one thing you've got going for you you know and I'm actually looking forward to getting back in your pants right I mean it's gonna be great you're so disgusting yeah are you even commenting on her fucking weight she just had two of your babies he literally

says you're quickly getting back into shape which is great for me. I mean which is great for me. Oh okay, oh I'm so glad Michael that it's great for you. That's why she should be doing it also. I'm so glad. How about you get into shit. How about you get into something. Okay that's not someone else's pants. Okay so with Ashley and Michael we saw the season where she tried to get him to amend the prenup, but then she said later in the reunion that he never did amend it. So then we heard her mention something about the prenup where it depended on how many babies she had. Like, I don't know what this mess is, but she's known who Michael is for a long time.

And it grosses me out that she's even still with him and having babies with him. And I'm still just so mad at Michael, I want her to open the door and just push him out. Yeah. Like listen, you've had two babies, push him out of the car. And I think that they were trying to push some sort of narrative that he's changed or he's grown. He has, he has not. Okay. As far as we could tell, the only reason why he has him and caught on someone's cell phone this season is there was a pandemic. That's how I'm going to chalk it up for two. Yeah. Oh God. What a gross scene. So then we go to Robin

at home and she's talking to Carter who's like, why are you talking to me about this? Yeah. She's sitting on the couch and she's like, how school is that? I've got a lot of assignment. She goes, well, I'm glad you feel more focused because you know how I wake you up late. And then I go to bed and I sit around at waste time. My first thought is maybe I need a life coach. You need a friend is what you mean.

You need to stop talking to your damn child about this because he's like, what? He's like, your life isn't together. He's like, mom, you're on TV. And she's like, well, being 42 and not having your shit together is not a good look. And the girls help me see that. So she calls Denise, who's a life coach.

And she's like, well lately, I'm feel unmotivated and unproductive. And Denise is like, well, when I hear, when people hear I have a PhD in marriage They think a PhD what sort of box do you fit in and I say this is us when they get off the phone Okay, when people hear I have a PhD in marriage in therapy people think they're going into therapy But therapy has different focus and coaching is for people who are emotionally and psychologically healthy But they want to make changes and move forward in their lives.

I'm like, I, I felt like a little odd about Denise saying these things. I felt like in a weird way, she was stigmatizing therapy, or maybe I was just projecting that, but it sounded like she was saying, don't worry, you're not crazy, you don't need therapy, you just need coaching. Yeah, but I can also give you therapy if you need that. I think she's saying that because there is such a stigma against therapy. I mean, how many people on these shows is like, oh, I'm going to a life coach. We just saw it on Shaws.

We saw it on, I mean, we've seen it on countless Bravo shows where people will not say they're going to therapy. Like there's something Bravo shows where people will not say they're going to therapy like there's something There's something you're admitting that you're weak if you say you're gonna therapy But if you say you're going to a life coach, you just want a better color or something So I think the therapist knows that that's a stigma so she's like listen. I have a PhD in therapy But don't worry. We can call it something else. So you don't have to tell your friends that you're going to therapy, okay?

Exactly. I mean, I think you're right. It's like a therapy. Like I understand the pragmatic side of it. Like that's really what she was doing. But it also was like, but there's nothing. Like therapy, like it shouldn't be so, it shouldn't be embarrassing to go into therapy, right? Like it's like so normal, you know?

Yeah, but whatever. So Rob, it's like, oh, I think I need more coaching than I need therapy. I'm like, well, Rob, and listen, I don't know if you've seen the first six seasons of this show, but I think therapy is kind of for you right now. I don't know if you realize this. Yeah, she's like, well, yeah, because mentally

and emotionally I'm stable, but maybe if I find out in coaching I needed, then we'll do therapy, and she's like well, yeah because mentally and emotionally unstable, but you know Maybe if I find out and coaching I needed then we'll do therapy and she's like okay great Great spiel. I like that. We made her like Robin's therapist played by Linda Lavon So now it's time to go to Lehman cello restaurant in Bar, Mia and her mom. So they get there and the mom is like, is this called Demon cello? And Mia goes, lemon cello, I think? Oh God, well, it dope. Lemon cello. So she's like, mom, I'm so excited being your when you and her mom Veronica just doesn't say anything She just looks around scared as hell. She's like oh my god. What if I got myself into oh my daughter is gonna Ask me about all the terrible things on camera isn't she so then

Mia's like I'm really can you tell me is this like the Lehman channel? Can I get the Lehman cello is like yeah the Lehman cello the waiter is as that and, is this like the Lehman cello? Can I get the Lehman cello? And he's like, yeah, the Lehman cello. The waiter says that. And they basically both order a Lehman cello, to which I wrote down in my notes, oh God. That's just, what are you doing Mia? Your mom is sober. Why are you ordering her a Lehman cello?

Yeah, I don't know if this is like the California sober thing because the past couple of years, it's like the Demi Lovato thing where I'm not doing hard drugs, but I can still drink, I don't know, people have different ways of doing that. I assume that's what it was. I assume that's what it was.

Yeah, people have their own process and everything, but yeah, it's still like, no matter what your process is, it's still like, hey, I was gonna take my mom, fresh out a rehab to get some artinis. Okay. I know, I felt like I was like, Lynn Thigbin on Carmen Sandiego

with the magnifying glass, but like, hmm, you know. I was like, what? But yeah, everyone has their own process and they have their own things. And, you know, I get that, but I definitely was just a viewer. It was like, oh, I was not expecting that.

Yeah so Mia's like well we haven't gotten together since rehab so I just want to understand why does she have a disconnect with me. So they order some clams and Mia's like oh god I need a cocktail. Those grandkids ears. Geez I just need to get blitzed out of my brain. You know what I'm saying? Mom, being here with you, I'm on such a high of Mia, could you just like adjust your language? So the mom is like, oh, well, you know, when you were small, because Mia asks about like that's about the past and the mom's like Veronica says, oh, well, you know, when you were small, I'd say, wow, she gets on my nerves

because she acts just like her father. Just awful, awful, awful, awful. She's like, oh, thanks, mom. Yeah, this was so sad because she's told us that the mom became suicidal after the father broke up or after she left her dad and that she was so in love, she was trying to kill herself and all of this stuff and so she's like you're just like your father.

It's like oh yeah. So she says mom what did my dad do and she's like I don't even want to go down that route and she starts crying and she's like you know your dad introduced me to drugs you know that and then you remember the night you got burnt do you remember that and she's like no I don't really remember but I have the scars up and down in my body. And the mom says, well, you were making oatmeal and it went all the way down your body like it spilled. You spilled it. And I was only at work 15 minutes

and I get called to come home because your dad was supposed to be taking care of you and I get there and he's in the basement with another woman. Yeesh. Yeesh. Man, I mean, Mia has a really, you know, challenging backstory, you know?

Yeah. Which is interesting, actually. I think it's because she's not just like something. Like, there's like real pain there. Yeah. So, and she talks about like, she basically has nothing but great memories of her dad. So, she acknowledges that she must have blocked the times when he was high or using, et cetera,

or under the influence. And so then eventually, then her mom talks about how she kicked out the dad. Finally, she just had to kick out the dad. But then three days later, she realized she couldn't live without him and that she tried to commit suicide over the dad. And just like this really sad and torturous, you know, you know, confessional moment on the show here. And so then Mia basically says that she doesn't want to have any resentment. She never really had resentment towards her mom, but she

still wanted more like she just wanted her mommy, right? And, but she feels like though that even though they have a lot of pain and they can't change the past, like this is the first step in healing their relationship. And she wants her mom more in her life. Yeah. And it was actually a good lunch. It was.

It was. Like yeah, we should have done this a long time ago. Yeah. It's good. God, I was like so nervous for the mom in this whole scene. I need to. I don't push your two art in this scene. Please, please.

So then we now go to Karen that on you by Vivian. She's at a bridal boutique for the big bavarian who old that's coming up. And so Karen is at this place and there's like this line of women who work there and one of them is like a phoenina Garcia. Did you notice that? The fake Nina Garcia, which was a great way to promote that project runways going back next month. And they also had like this super judgy assistant girl who was like holding an notebook and squinting her eyes at them like. Also find the Candidate School of like, be in fashion, you know. Yeah, so they're like standing there like who kind of devil wears Prada types in a

strip mall wedding place. And Karen comes in and she's like mmm I love this place Vivian because I can get it all down here Yes, well I'm a little bit over budget of the first dress was $10,000 and it was made from Turkey Just saying I think she meant made in Turkey. Yeah, you can just throw some mustard on any other You can't just throw some mustard on any other dress in the middle of the night Feed race snack on your honeymoon directly from your body Yes, I got this wedding dress from a wonderful hot kucho a fashion house called Oscar Maya

10,000 is a small price to pay Joe Biden almost killed it and I said mr. Biden spare this turkey and he did for my trash This isn't just any or turkey dress it was smoked and also has a touch of honey to it I work all the men to be in pickle cumber buns I work all the men to be in pickle cumber buns Yes, yes, yes, this is well reviewed by Jersey mics. They love it So I had that yesterday so I was thinking about my sandwich. It's like wow they really had a good avocado topping And you know what they're not lying when you order double cheese. Thanks Jersey mics. I've only had Jersey mics once. We were before the show.

We were talking about Jason's deli. I've only been there once when we were in Columbus. Uh, I haven't had quizz nose and forever. And, um, I, I feel like it's time for me to revamp my, my deli chains. Do you have a preference? Sorry, we can stop this. If you don't, you don't, you don't, don't, don't, don't answer it. It's not, it's not worth it. Turkey dress. Can I wear it? That's my question. There's no way I can dance through the evening

and one dress. I need a second. I need a second dress. I think I'm ham. Ham. Do we think ham? Salami. So Wendy arrives and she arrives right when Vivian is saying, well, here we have the height of fabulous. Hello, I'm here. Hi, everyone. I'm gonna put my coffee down because these dresses are too pretty. And Vivian's like, okay, hello, welcome.

Well, as I was saying, this is the height of Fabi, hi, welcome. Well, as I was saying, this is the height of Fabian. Hi, queen. I like Mia arriving and she's outside and she's like, oh, industrial. This is like a warehouse. She comes in shimming. She's like, hi. Yes, she really does.

And Vivian's like, as I was saying, now look at my face. Do I look like I'm passing judgment? I learned everything from the receptionist and don't tell mom the babysitters did. Okay, look, look at my face. Fabulousity, there I said it. It doesn't even make sense now, but that's what I was trying to say. Baloney! Do you have a baloney dress?

That's what I'm asking. Oh, listen, just concentrate on getting me another turkey dress because after all they're set and done, I still want to get stuffed. Here's the thing, if it's cold, do we have any sort of hoagie wrap I could put around my shoulders? So then Karen gives some distance to her guest. She's like, wow, I know you drove quite a distance. Especially you Wendy. All right.

But I just needed you to be here to pick the second dress, enough to go. And then they all do a cheers to her. And this is Karen drinking her champagne. Okay, this is not video. So I'm sorry for those of you who have that disease where you can't hear things. Don't listen to the next five seconds. So she's like, she is. That's just the sound she made to prep to drink her drink. I was just drinking right. Gave her lips ready. It's like those doors, those door handles and labyrinth,

when she has never mind. So Mia's like, well, the jersey mack doors. The doorway to the jersey mack. Girls, I'd love to catch up right now. No, I like catch up on my turkey. It's a great combination. So she goes and she's going to do that. I'm trying on dresses thing. So she goes and she's gonna do that I'm trying on dress' thing. So me and Wendy are left alone. And me is like, I haven't seen you since my own Vomjello.

I've never had one where I'm when he's like, yeah, well, I feel like I was hit by a Mac twok. And me have feels that what happened in Williamsburg wasn't fair. And Jizal should have brought this straight to Wendy. First of all, since when are Mia and Wendy cool? Second of all, I kind of feel like say what you will, but Jacelle kind of did go straight to Wendy about it? I mean, what you basically was like, is this because your husband's like, this because these rumors are cheating. If Jacelle had gone to Wendy and said that this article is out here, I think it would have been the same thing because Jacelle is inherently shady. It doesn't matter how she would have brought it up. She would have been accused of of being shady and dragging Eddie into drama, no matter what she did.

Yeah, but she brought Ashley to drop it instead and then acted like, well, look at Ashley, you know, or especially Robyn's like, look at Ashley, you know, or especially Robbins, like, look at Ashley, look what Ashley did. No, but the night before Giselle brought a to Wendy at the dinner, she was like, I don't know. Not the shooting. No, she didn't bring up the sheeding. She said she was talking about her body.

She was saying no, no, she, no, but she said, didn't she say she said, oh, maybe you're right. Now, you might be right. I don't remember. This is just last week. you're right. Now you might be right. Confused. I don't remember. Last week. What's wrong with this? Doesn't matter.

I thought she was saying this, this stuff with your body and then actually was brought in to say, there's rumors online that your husband is cheating and people are saying, is that why did I get that wrong? I'm a man. You might be right, actually. You might be right because Giselle's thing was more was more like, you used to be a woman of substance. I think you might be right actually. She's like, you know, we used to respect you.

And then she's like, you know, and then you got boobs. And now we're mad at you because of your booby showing or whatever. Yeah. Isn't it funny how much we can forget week to week? I mean, literally every single second. I don't even know what episode we're talking about.

I'm dying to grab this shit. I know. We're talking about Southern charm. I don't even know what I know Just be honest so Karen comes in with dress number one and she's like what do you guys think about dress number one? It comes with fries and a diet coke She's like what what do you think this will do for Ray? When he's like, oh, what? Cause this doing a walk for me. And this dress, it's like some weird gap coming up the middle and then like kind of stained looking. It's terrible.

Floppy wing things coming off the side. It's like, that's an allia mahaven, right? So Wendy's like well, I think it's gonna be super noise especially in here and he has like wait stop here in this industrial complex Okay, it's because well the interior of this space is perfect Just like oh wait wait this is all happening here in this industrial park next to the facility that like that prints signs for gas stations. And no, the reception's going to be held at the 7-11 at the end of the strip mall. So then dressed to, oh sorry, she's like, oh, I mean, not the interior.

And then we see the shot of the exterior with an arrow pointing to it going exterior It's so rude and so then dress number two. She comes Out dressed up for two. It is so bad. It is so so bad and me and wind you're both like oh Wow Okay, okay, okay, and Karen can't even sit down. It's like let me see if I can sit down Hey, Karen can't even sit down. It's like let me see if I can sit down It's a little tight. It's a little tight. Yeah, not sure. Not sure. I don't think I don't think prosciutto is a way for me to go back to turkey Girls I'm gonna leave now. I just wanted to say I'm so glad

About you being here. I'm so glad you're here when he's like we're so excited for you. This is us Well, you know, I thought overall Winsburden was very revealing. I mean, it's like, yeah, we're speaking, oh, speaking of inlines, I got invited to drinks tonight for Robins birthday. And I noticed that you two were not on the invite. Yeah, because just Zell sent the text message inviting them. And so then we, we cut to Jazeal saying listen, it's happy birthday for Robin Dixon I would everyone here who loves Robin supports her and wish her a happy birthday

Karen didn't and neither did Wendy's so yeah y'all who's not invited Uh-huh and Wendy says that she wouldn't expect one but me is like yeah, but it's a robbins birthday and not just sounds Yeah, but Wendy also, you know called robbins relationship bullshit last time they saw each other so probably not her either So here I'm like, well I too have my problems with just how have I Would you kick a wounded dog? New kick a wounded dog you do, new kick, a wounded dog. You do when it's cute, girl. Yeah.

I wouldn't even get near a good joke. And when he's like, but that wounded dog also shouldn't kick you. Well, it's hard when you're wearing all turkey. They love that. But what can you do, fashion is fashion. Listen, girls, lonely nursing bitters makes you do awful things. and in her mind She would think she was in a relationship with that man

If she would just be honest about hurting she would get the support she needed even from me Any carrots like well, there is some pain and shame she's dealing with and because of the type of person that I am I send the messages, I send this message through you Mia. I'm telling you, call there a weak bench. No, no, no, no. Listen, it's hard to quit, Jasella. We all know, but it's hard to quit her cold turkey.

It was a reference to my dress. Anyway. I know she has challenges with saying she's sorry, and I want her to text and say, I regret using the word death. If she can do that, we are good. Consider this message sent to you. Yeah.

Yeah. From the desk of the Ambassador to Surrey County. Signed, Count Hugo. Now I need to make, I need you to make the noise. Wipe noise. BOOT. BOOT. the county signed down you go now I need to make I need you to make the noise what noise boo the facts machine noise make it you said you only deal with the facts I assume you know what I was talking about

now listen it can't be easy being the old woman in the shoe that's all feel something for the South shall we all right pack up the turkey dress, I'll take it. We're throwing some must of that for me too, please, thank you. You know, sometimes when I think about all the drama, I just think to myself, Rye, why do we do this? Rye bread, I'd like some rye bread of my turkey, thank you so much. Alright, so next up we go to Chris and Candice on date night.

And here's another thing that just really pisses is bringing off the back Candice. How can she eat like this and look that amazing? This isn't fair. They go to this place and she orders mac and cheese and lamb chops. Yeah, that's true. Did we watch her actually eat it

because I wasn't paying attention to that. No, but it was even there. I mean, that she can even, even if she didn't eat it, that she could order and have it sitting right there the whole time, still not eat it, or get fat. It's not fair. It's rude.

It's not fair. So it's music video week, guys. And she's just feeling all this pressure that's on her. And she's saying it's like boot camp for black girls honey And she's commissioned so many people and spent so much money on this music video that will do nothing for her Professionally, but you know go on So that's what she's dealing with and he's like well you looking good. She's like yeah, well You know everything you know everything that. And she's like, yeah, well, you know, everything, you know,

everything that's going on. And he says, yeah, well, Wednesday, you're rehearsing. And look, I have a couple cooking classes next week. And she's like, um, but what's going to happen if something goes wrong and you're not there? And he's like, well, you're going to have a director, the choreographer, they all get call sheets. Okay, so they're all going to be there.

And she's like, well, why do you have to work during this time? He's like, because that's when I was booked. See Candice, you shouldn't have shamed your husband about writing your co-tails, because now he is like, oh, I've got my cooking classes to do, and I don't want to let down those six people across the country, you know? So now he's all of a sudden, like, all about the cooking classes.

And she's like, the last thing I need is feeling like I can't be an artist because I don't know if everything's in place. I'm like, you're not gonna feel like an artist because we haven't seen an Indian occasion that you actually are one, Candace. And Chris is like, what, you don't trust me to handle it? She's like, you're not gonna be there.

And he's like, well, you know what? I've been trying to handle it and you keep putting your nose and everything, like you don't trust me to handle it. And she's like, I'm not putting my nose on that. So this goes downhill really, really fast. So she's yeah, basically like, oh my god, there's all of these things that could go wrong. And you know, Chris isn't able to support me. And then we cut to her times of that that Chris hasn't been there. And it's her calling him from the set of that pilot for the pilot for the high school project or whatever the hell she was doing. Whatever that was. I don't know. And she's like, if something messes up, that's my career

and reputation. I'm like, girl, you're on reality TV. Your career and reputation is over Like do you not remember the fight you got into right like in terms of you know She's more concerned about the music video going awry. So Candice is She's like this all falls on me. It's me and Jesus. Like well, let's just hope that he has a decent tone So Candice is like just hope that he has a decent town. So Candace is like, so Chris is like, listen, I volunteered to do these classes. I have to do them. I mean, you want me to drop everything.

I can't, like I can't do that anymore. So he's like, I can't, like I, he's like, oh, maybe I should ask you for an allowance. Maybe I should ask you for an allowance. Like, oh, can I have my allowance? Can I, actually, seriously, can I have my allowance? I, I'm need my allowance. You're out of business.

If you want me to wait on you hand in foot, then I'm gonna ask you for an allowance. Like, I'm sorry, I don't have a job anymore because I'm just waiting on you hand in foot. She goes, I need you to figure out what your attitude is. And she goes, okay, well, that being said, I'm playing golf this afternoon. And she's like, it's always fucking golf.

When I need you to be present and get shit I need done And it's like well between managing all your shit and between my job well quote unquote job I want to spend five minutes doing something what I want to do so I can spend the rest of my time doing your shit And she's like well, I will cuss you the fuck out check your attitude and He just gets up and walks off and he's like, find someone else to do that shit for free. And then she cries with the chicken flauta in her eye.

Yeah, like this is how you can see how dependent she is on Chris because when he's not there, she doesn't know how to like make her little tissue square. So she's like, she has a flauta. It's a flauta she has a flota. The flota, the thing is huge. Okay. So a couple of things about this. So he's her manager, but she's not paying him. She's putting him in kind of a rough spot here, right?

Because if she does pay him, then he's living off of her. But then if she doesn't pay him, he can't afford to like sit there. He's still got to pay for this house that you got that you can't probably afford at this point. Let's face it. So like what's the guy supposed to do? And is this a real job that he has? Or is he just like, fuck you? If you want to try and make me look like I'm free loading off

of you off camera, then I'm going to make a big stink about how you don't pay me anyway. And I'm just doing this shit to be supportive. Yeah. Well, I think the context of their whole arrangement would also help like did she ask him to step into this role? Did he volunteer to step into this role? And if he did step into this role, why is he not committing to it full time? Because it actually does not do a service to either of them. If he's just going to be like, I'll do certain things and not other things. And he's been kind of sketchy in terms of what his role is. He'll be like, I am there to emotionally manage her, which is different than being a proper

manager. That being said, I don't think a manager has to be on the set for like every single shoot. But for some artists, they do want that. Like I think, I don't know. I think that like basically the two of them have made this horrific working arrangement and that's now going back to bite them in the butt. Yeah, and so he gets up and leaves

and then they bring the cheque to her, that way just, that way just does her some kind of an award because that was perfect timing. He's like, good bye. I was like, oh, here's your cheque. Thanks. Yeah, I can't just like, why am I paying? So then Chris is in the car.

So she gets in the car and their mics are still on. And she's like, why would you say that? I'm not, I'm trying not to cuss you out right now. And he's like, well, it wouldn't be different than any other time you've cussed me out. Yeah. So going great with them, I was kind of glad to see that crumble because this whole thing

they've been doing the whole season of like, oh my God, everything is perfect with us. Has been a lot. So then it's three hours later. Jazeal gets to the restaurant for Robbins birthday party. Yeah, this looked like it was right in that place where we had our craftman's after-party for in Baltimore. Didn't look familiar.

I felt like I don't think we went to that place, but it looks to me. I was like, Hey, we were there, right? So, um, yeah, they're they're all showing up. Uh, Jacelle is there, Mia's there, Ash is there, a Skull is there, and you know, Ash starts talking about they're asking her about how everything's going with like down down there or like I was sort of like I couldn't tell they're asking about how she was losing weight or whatever, but she does offer up that she's doing lots and lots of kegels or kegels that she calls them and And then Candice comes strutting in Candice struts into this restaurant as if she's in Paris fashion week She's like, but it's just like you know casual restaurant that she's strutting into and she's saying that she's really

She's still like just so beleaguered with. All these unresolved issues with her husband, which is basically her being like, if I act like a total bitch night, it's Chris's fault. Yeah, and she's like, all this foolishness affects the way I breathe and amote. So she comes in and you know that she's, this is Candace's thing too. This whole season, she's like, click at me. I'm nice Candace. I never do anything bad. I'm nice, nice Candace. I can't believe, I can't believe there's anyone who wouldn't like me.

But she comes into the scene to totally run her mouth again, except this time she's wearing scalp protection. Okay. She's got a full on scarf around her head because she will not be cl- she did learn something from us. She's fully like dress like Sally field emerging from a building and so dish.

Got a head wrap, the sunglasses, like she's about to throw herself in front of a bus to be dramatic. So she says like, I would like to order the car shootery, whatever you call that. or shoot a re whatever you call that. The woman's like, Shark Hootery. Shark Hootery. Sorry, there's a lady who used to be on Vanderpump rules at the next table. Cute, Shark Hootery.

That's the thing she called me and Kentucky. You're a cool guy. You're a cool guy. You're a cool guy. You're a cool guy, Kingsley. So Candace is like, where's Robin? Is this the group because people are missingley. So, Canvas is like, where's Robin? Is this the group? Because people are missing from the group.

And just like, are they really missing? Ah. And kind of like, yes, you were willing to move forward with Wendy. Well, no, I put out there, hey, boo-boo. We can have a private conversation. But I haven't heard from sad boo-boo. So the conversation is off the table. And by the way, my new word is boo-boo

So then Robin comes in and she's all in her Lisa Rinna Sparkle shirt. Yes Then they order oysters and chocolate martinis which I'm sorry to shade every drink that's coming out today, but who does that? I know it was odd so. So Robin's there. Just, hi, buh-buh-la. Do you like that? That's my new thing I learned. Buh-buh-la. Buh-buh. And so Robin is talking about Wendy and she goes, well, I felt like we talked through everything, but in my opinion, it's still unresolved, because I felt like I got a snarky condescending reporter who is talking to me, not a girl friend in the apology. Yeah, um, yeah, still mouth on your side, baby.

Because I believe that gossip that I read last week of Wendy saying that Robin brought her this news in the first place off camera and wanted Eddie to sue the blog or whatever. So Robin pretending she doesn't know anything that's going on. She's full of it So Robin's like, well, you know, I didn't even have an issue with her until she said what she said to me And she's how goes Ashley. I need to ask Did you add some hot sauce to that conversation? No, no hot sauce the conversation though. K Kellen did request a condom in her dress. And she's like, well, I swear to goodness.

I said, clearly, I don't want you to perceive this the wrong way. So I asked, are you in any trying to maybe reinvigorate your sex life? And she's like, well, that's fair. And the skull says, no, that's not fair, because it's coming from a place of assuming that the blogs are true. like, well, that's fair. And the skull says, no, that's not fair because it's coming from a place of assuming that the blogs are true. And just like, nah, on Candace, it's like, yes, yes. I agree.

And Ashley's like, of course she agrees, rolling her eyes. And Candace, because this filthy milk made you drove four hours to ruin my trip. This is why I don't deal with her. Oh, she's so gross. She really is. No, I still laugh. with her. Oh, she's so gross. She really is. I know, I still laugh too.

I laugh too. You said that because you're so sad. It's so depraved. And then Ash is like, she's like, Well, when I want to be messy, I'll admit they're doing the churning. Okay. Well, absolutely a hoe did. Absolutely a hoe did.

Or something like that. And she goes, Did you call me a hoe? Is that appropriate? She's like, yes, I did you call me a ho is that appropriate? You call me a ho? She's like yes, I did and it is appropriate because I felt like saying it because you have no looks to stand on She goes oh now look you brought your wide-bodied ass in here and just like she's not wide Yeah, and she's like yeah, you came in here to spread lies and you took off with your breast milk and she goes Oh, so you want to grab body shaming? Is that what it is? You want to grab body shaming?

I'm not body shaming you you walk into a room and body shaming yourself with your big ass face and your big ass forehead I'm like you're literally body shaming here right now with those words. She's so gross She is then it goes to be continued ah Jesus gross She is, then it goes to be continued. So... Jesus. Gross. Um, so, uh, that was Real Housewives of Potomac. Next week we'll see how this all works out. Do you think Candace is just jealous that Chris won't have kids?

Because that's a weird... I don't know. I think Candace is jealous of everything. I think Candace gets jealous. I feel like, maybe Candace is not jealous of the kids, but she's jealous of the attention. So like Ashley has a baby and then people do it on her and then she's like, but I'm gonna be a,

I'm gonna be a, I'm gonna have a music video. I'm gonna sing a song, mother. And like I think Candace is forever on that stage, performing and waiting for her mom and the audience to smile and like nod her head. And these, all these women are just standings for their mom. So like when someone else is getting attention for something else and Candice is out there

in her beauty pageant sash, singing her song and making her music video and getting the NBA and people are like, oh, cool. I think she just like lashes out and feels like very under scene and appreciated. Yeah, which is great. If you think about it, I mean, everyone else did it first, right?

Like Ashley had the single first. She had coffees for closers or whatever her song was. And then Wendy had the master's first. Maybe she's just like kind of going around trying to do other people's stick. I mean, Candace was a singer in her beauty pageants or whatever. She just comes across. I guess like you said in the beginning of the recap, she's just a brat.

Yeah, and don't forget her first season, Candice's whole storyline when she was, when she was sort of just being sweet and nice with the occasional pop-off against Shasha. Her whole thing was like, people don't want to get to know me people don't want to talk to me And she was like crying to Karen like I'm just trying to put myself out there and get people getting to know me And no one wants to talk to me that was her whole thing was that she was feeling very unseen And I think that has kind of dictated Everything that she has done going forward, but she's now like that Now it doesn't make her cry now. It just makes her angry and she just lashes out

Yeah Now it doesn't make her cry. Now it just makes her angry and she just lashes out. Yeah. Well, it's good. Yeah. Concentration about something that's really not very relevant to anyone. Well, no, it was interesting because I didn't remember her being like that the first season. Like I didn't remember that thing that she just wanted to be friends and nobody would be nice to her or see her.

Yeah. Do you remember those? Do you remember she would she would cry to Karen? That was like, you know, you're saying it. Yeah. It's just interesting, you know, because she's just an asshole. And people are on, you know, another thing from reading Twitter, people are like, well, why is it body shaming when Candice does it?

But when, you know, just when Karen says that Jacelle has a flappy vagina or a stovepipe, like, it's funny. And this is just low. I mean, I don't understand how people don't see the difference. Like, I guess it's like the real housewives of Atlanta thing, right? Like, fun shade, fun shade. Yeah. It's like a parent in Jacelle or Jacelle going off on Karen being an old, you know, woman with whose dry and Jacelle has a whop or whatever. I mean, that seems like fun shade, but like to be calling someone fat who just had a baby, like, that's pretty. I think it's like, I think the context is everything. Um, you know, it's like, the comparison is if you say something about your family, it's funny, but if someone else says it, it's not funny, which is not what's happening here, but it just goes to show that when certain words and jokes

come from one person versus another, they land in a different way. And Candace has a history of being really venomous, as opposed to Shady, and really bratty. And she also, I just think it just comes off as nasty or when it comes from her. I don't know what it is. You could probably like sit down and

really analyze the the Ys and the motivations and why it hits differently. But we're at the end of the episode. So it's just good to say that she's a brat and that's that. Yeah, I've got good news for you. Next week we get to talk about it all over again because the scene is to be continued. Okay. We get to talk about it all over again because the scene is to be continued. Okay. Yeah Thank you all for listening on our next episode. We are recapping below deck med and Yeah, and so stay tuned for that and thank you all for listening and we will catch you on the next one Bye Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King

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