Watch What Crappens - RHOP: Surrey Seems to Be the Hardest Word

Episode Date: October 13, 2020

Karen goes home to Surrey on this week's Real Housewives of Potomac to be in the Homecoming Parade, and Monique gets a solid talking to by her pastor. Our premium bonus is about Netflix' American Murderer: The Family Next Door. Find it at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm not a fan of this song. I'm not a fan of this song. I'm not a fan of this song. I'm not a fan of this song.

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I'm not a fan of this song. I'm not a fan of this song. Well hello and welcome to watch what crap is the podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Yo Bros and beyond sometimes Netflix too you just never know I'm Ronnie and that's been over there Hi Ben. Hi how's it going good how you doing babe happy Monday Happy Monday here we go beginning of a new week. Yes, everybody. Go check up Ben's other projects. He does a podcast called Game Brain, okay? It's about games. And he does a cartoon called The Real Housewives of Kitchen Island.

You can find that on YouTube. And we've got a very special announcement. We're very excited, Guy. We are going to start. Okay, so we've moved over to mid-roll stitcher network. What, last month? This month? Yeah, some of that. A couple weeks ago.

So we were with the new... It's a point in the recent past. Yeah, so we're with the new podcast family and they've asked us to do a special show for them that's only on Stitcher Premium because you can get Stitcher Premium and then you don't have to listen to any ads. Okay, so that's like the... Yeah. The big selling point on Stitcher Premium, because you can get Stitcher Premium, and then you don't have to listen to any ads, okay? So that's like the,

yeah, the big selling point of Stitcher Premium. It's an ad-free experience, and we're gonna be doing an extra show just for Stitcher Premium, and it is called Dwell, hello! And it's home shows. I mean, right now we're concentrating just on house hunters, because I mean, it's amazing.

House Hunters is one of our all-time favorite shows and it's endless possibilities, they give us endless possibilities to mock dummies. So we're doing that show and that begins October 19th. Yeah, so basically the way it works is that dwell hello episodes are just gonna appear here in your crap and speed, but if you only get them if you have stature premium. So it's basically like another episode that gets added into your queue.

And again, we are, it's a limited run thing. It's gonna be 12 weeks, and then after that, it's done. And it's all house hunters, house hunters international. We're basically looking at three houses a week, and in actually in one case, we looked at four houses, because we've already recorded a few of them. And so we are already having so much fun, and we think you guys will really enjoy it too.

So yeah, get excited for Duel Hello. It's gonna be dropping on Monday, the 19th. And we'll have sign up links and information on how to sign up for that When everything throughout the week when we get them But we just wanted to tell you guys it's coming next Monday very excited. Okay. We were so excited to have a new project to talk about Yeah, and laugh about and kick a little kicker with each other. It's really fun It's actually like a lovely like I don't want to say it's a mental vacation But it's like a really fun pivot

that we get to do, that we get to like just turn on a like 30 minute show, really 22 minutes without commercials. And just watch these people go to houses, and you judge the people, you judge the houses, you judge the decor, whatever it is, whatever needs to be judged, we judge it, and we've just had a blast. Yeah, I don't really think I really gave credit to how good it can feel to just mock a shitty

little one bedroom in the East. But you know what? It worked. I mean, it had a great day after that. Yeah. And you would think, like, what else can be said about, like, a generic McMansion, especially when you see three of them in a row, and they all look the same, and you think, what could really be said? Turns out you can say a lot.

You can really get in there. We can really, you can really drill down. So, yeah. So it's not another, it's not another podcast feed per se. It's not something. It's just, it's exclusive to stitch your premium. So we'll have more details on all that. Once we have it, we just don't have the details yet. Yeah. It'll, it's coming. It's coming. It's coming. Okay, so today what's coming is the real house was a Potomac guy. And it is, you know, I just feel for Karen because Karen had to go through this huge tax storyline and she had to have her, you know, press conference or whatever because everybody

was giving her so much shit over her taxes. And then Karen gets an episode this week centered around her. And it's still called taxes, okay? Taxis still in the title is called Taxing Times and Blurry Lines. I mean, really guys, could you have waited? Yeah, I know. Poor Karen. And on top of that, like, I will, and in classic Robin fashion, this big tax storyline that was sort of dropped on us in the mid season trailer

Turns out it's like not that big of a deal. I mean, it's a lot of money But like compared to Karen's thing. This is so Robin to be like oh $90,000 because I forgot to fill out something on turbo tax. Oh, it's like oh, yeah Robin It's also Robin in the hypocrite department because I'm really loving Robin this season. I think she's very funny And like maybe I'm just getting used to her not really doing much But I'm enjoying Robin this season, but yeah hypocrite Well, it's Bravo TV. What can you expect? I guess we should also mention there's big Bravo news this weekend two weddings Oh, yeah, two weddings. Two weddings.

And this was actually a very big weekend for Super Spreader events in general. There was the there was a rally at the White House, very Super Spreaderie. Gay Pride in Atlanta, there was like an unauthorized circuit party with like thousands of gays indoors. There was the Lakers won the NBA finals and so like thousands of people descended on downtown LA without their masks on and we're having like a pet rally there. And to top it all off, we have Cynthia's wedding. Cynthia's, Cynthia had this big like 250 person indoor wedding. Kelly Dodd also got married. And strangely enough, Kelly Dodd, who has obnoxiously been anti-mask and whose now husband

has tweeted out ridiculous numbers about how basically coronavirus is like the common cold essentially. She actually had an outdoor wedding. So she actually had a safer wedding than Cynthia, which is crazy I don't know about you. Did you watch any of the stories that came out of Cynthia's wedding? No, I didn't I actually turned off the social media for most of the weekend believe it or not Goodness nature shows on fucking Netflix instead What were they I saw Kelly's and it's funny that we're just living

in a time where people are like, well, hers was at least safer even though Kelly's an asshole. At least hers was safer. How does that happen? Outside. I mean, it's funny that in 2020, we're calling that safer. In 2019, we would have called that cheap, okay?

Because her ass didn't want to pay for a venue. She's saving money. We're talking about my- Oh, that too. Yeah. Well, so I was watching some stories from someone who was there. And they put up a story and they put on a little sticker that said, where am I asking? You see people like wearing masks and there was a sanitation, or not a sanitation, a sanitizer

station. Maybe a sanitation station as well. And then like every following story was pretty much just people without masks on. Like they put on, it was like mask pageantry and a lot of them were wearing the Ramona mask, where it was like clear, which like that's cool. I mean it's something is better than nothing, but I also like question just how effective those masks are. And so like there were a lot of those clear masks and there was a picture of Karen Huger in one, which is why I brought this up also,

where she's very much, hmmm. Well, I went from home coming queen to mask queen. Here I am, it's Cynthia Bell is wedding. She's cute, loud, she's cute, she's cute. Yeah, I saw her picture and she was very sleeping beauty looking because she was wearing a big glass one. Yeah, not glass, but um glass salad bar. Yeah, my mom wears one of those big those big salad bar You know or like I call I call my mom the check cashing place whenever she wears that but um

She wears one of those and it's basically like if a whole yard was growing corona as the grass And then you came and you just put up a fence in the yard. Does it really stop? So I get it. I get that the corona has to do more work, because it has to go under it than it does. You know? Do that's do the limbo.

Yeah, I mean, I think those are still better than nothing. And I feel like they're most effective when they're used paired with a mask. And I know people, that's that's I think the best way to use those as me a non-doctor but But yeah, like Karen had like a Had a whole thing and there were a lot of bravo liberties there etc

But um, but yeah, I just thought it was funny like seeing this That like these random moments where people have their masks on and other moments They just would have them off. I'm like, it doesn't work that way. It's not like Corona says, hey guys, I'm gonna take five. So you guys can take your masks off and dance. And then when I'm back and ready to, in fact, you guys, I'll, you know, you can put your masks back on it.

Like, it doesn't really work that way. Well, I've noticed that with celebrity, COVID is much more dangerous when there are cameras around. Like, suddenly if a camera is pulled out, suddenly the germ goes way up and then everybody covers their face really fast. Mm-hmm. I did notice that Kelly got married in a black dress,

which is very Christine Quinn from Selling Sunset. I noticed that too. And her, I'm saying that's where my mind goes. Yeah, and her stepdaughter is like having to fit all over Instagram, because she apparently hates Kelly, which is amazing. You can't wait to see that.

I hope we get to see that on the show. And Cynthia got married and I think Neenie's reunion dress from... Oh my God, it was, didn't it look like that? That's not great. Didn't need to wear something. I'm very sorry. It was that ice skating dress that she wore, remember?

How much you bet it's that guy, Pedram. Is that his name, Pedram? Okay, let's look at that. Cause now we have to know it's Pedram. You know, he does all the ice skating. Like he didn't hit his drum. He's done it for like all the housewives. Dresses. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, The barely wedding dress for Jill. I just think it's like, I don't see his name anywhere, but yeah, it is very similar to that dress.

Like the see through, the see through with like the sequinsy, lacy lookings over it. It's designed by Nekka C. Alexander of Brides by Nona. Wow, well, there you go. Well, there we go. Brides by Nona. N you go well there we go brides by no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no quickly right there. Angel Mona from real house. Oh, the one in front of the house. Oh, the one in front of the house. The one in front of the house.

The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house.

The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house.

The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The one in front of the house. The, it's gonna work out. Both of these marriages, yeah, real, a lot of confidence of both of these marriages here. Guys, you need to chill out, okay? So, the parents are their own. And also, didn't they announce last season that Cynthia Bailey wasn't coming back?

Am I living in crazy town? Because I could have sworn it was announced that Cynthia wasn't coming back. I think it was a rumor. I think right now it's just Nini and Eva And well, you know, there's the other rumor of course the best rumor out of all this really is that um that Tania and Portia got dick down by his stripper at Cynthia's bachelor at party and then like the internet was like it's this man His name is like bow no the entertainer and he's like this really hot although looks very tiny Muscle man and he had to he like entertainer, and he's like this really hot, although looks very tiny, muscle man,

and he had to, he like released a statement, and he was like, I just want everyone to know, I'm not a stripper, I'm the stripper, and I've spent many years developing my brand, and as much as I would have loved to say, I took part in those lovely ladies, I did not, I did not, and I also have an Only Fans, which then begs the question, if we sign up for his only fans, can we write that off as that Attacks deduction for us? Let's research for the show, right?

Oh, I guess, I guess. I mean, I don't just putting it out there. And I just want to know. Oh, I don't know. You just write things off anyway and then just hope that you don't get robbing. To people don't say, hey, wait a minute, I'm missing some of this paperwork from your, that would be us to get finally, you know, I have called out on OnlyFans. Oh my God, I have been that. I once did, not QuickBooks, you know, the other one, the other TurboTax.

And I was like, oh, I'm gonna do this on myself. I don't need it in my account. And I fully forgot, oh, I'm gonna do this on myself. I don't need it in my account. And I fully forgot about an entire random stocks I had. And then three months later, I got, if you miss something, the IRS does not play around. I'm like, guess what? You forgot to report $10 worth of income. So we are charging you $28,000.

I was like, oh! Yeah, I got that. I don't want it on a game show. And guess what? We won $600. We set. We were terrible. $6,000. I was like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh It's like a dick suck a stripper a daiki mo genius. Okay. It's time to get into Potomac because we are 13 minutes into this root gap I know talking about Potomac so Karen is Karen. We start out with Karen outside on her phone on speaker phone Hi Ashley. Ashley. It's Karen. How are you? Can you hear me Ashley? Oh wait, I'm outside. Hold on one moment Let me get closer to the let me get closer to the antenna Ashley on one moment. Let me get closer to the antenna. Ashley, Ashley.

She's like standing on the roof by the TV antenna. Come on, and then I'll be proud. Oh, turns out I'm on my cordless phone, not my cell phone. That explains everything. Well, she was on her cell phone, and I was so confused. I was like, why would you go outside to speak on your cell phone, and then why would your service be worse talking about it? And then I realized that she's probably on Wi-Fi calling, which really made me respect Karen for saving that money by being on Wi-Fi calling. And I just had a whole thing. She's probably on singular wireless, still.

That's what's probably the issue. Why is she hiding from Ray to talk to Ashley on the phone? Because she doesn't just go outside. She goes outside and walks up the hill, almost to the fence behind which she made those little children to gymnastics or on a loo or whatever. Yeah, I was very confused by the whole secret of being on a phone with Ashley thing,

but that's not the he and what they are. Well, it is here and there, okay? And so anyway, she just invites Ashley to come to home coming in Surrey, where I'm from. And Ashley, she's like, I can't believe this. Five years ago, I don't think I would ever gotten this invitation from Karen. But I mean, Ashley doesn't remember

that if you are going to brag and like make yourself, and like if you wanna show people that you are like this shit, you're not gonna invite your best friends, you're gonna invite the people you hate. That's the whole point, that's why you're invited, Ashley. We see a clip of when Ashley first came on the show and Karen was in that store with her and she's like, Well, Ashley, you wanna be a part of society, do you?

The big Potomac society, well, it's a very difficult society to get into Ashley Very very difficult very so many hurdles to get over now. I've framed you of Xerox of rules to follow hopefully you'll be how hard it was for me Sorry, I just talked right over you Just right over you just plowed right over. I'm just blind about methane. It's alright, you know how hard it was for me to reach into Potomac society. I spent the first five years here thinking it was a Max door for potatoes. I called a potato back.

I was like, it's so great being here in potato mac. Then finally when I realized my error, I was like, finally accepted into society. You must have a huge bowl of balls to be accepted into this society. I could not get over Karen's huge bowl of balls in her case. Same. I was also noticing that. I mean, I get decorative balls, guys.

Okay, I'm not new to decorative balls. I do date. But jeez, Karen, that was a huge statement of balls. Well, you know, I do have some, some, some, uh, some what a front property I call it, Pier One, and that's what I got these from. So she invites Jacelle and Ashley to go to her homecoming in Surrey, where she's from, and Jacelle's like, in my mind, I envision a little farm with people walking around with straw hanging out this side of their mouth. Cowboy hats, overalls, the whole town!

I kind of felt bad because I kind of felt that way too because I feel like Karen has spent so many so many seasons being like well I was raised on a farm, you know? I didn't even know what a lollipop was until I was 45 and I finally saw my first one because we don't have lollipops on a farm Like I was just imagining like grapes of wrath all this time. So I was sort of like with just Ellen this James of wrath Um So she is like afraid everyone's gonna be all hickish and actually say, is it baby friendly? It's like if it needs to be

She's like, is it baby friendly? And care, it's like, if it needs to be Ashley. Mm. Mm. Why, why, put me on a tractor. I'm ready to go on a ride. Why, why? So she's gonna try and leave him at home. Now, you know that my class to take care of the baby

this time, because he fucked up. You know, that's your penance. Revenge babysitting. And just put every mother wants, you know. Your dad just, you know, bone some stripper. So he's gonna be great at taking care of you. That's how fun, okay. You're not the only one grabbing for breasts these days, okay?

Sharon knows her father. Yeah, exactly. Well, I think it's important to show Ashley who I am. Well, I come from what makes Karen, Karen. I'm an open book. So come read my book book although you only have five minutes before we ask you Please purchase the book otherwise you're just stealing at that point So sick all right, Ashley. Thank you read my book and then as she hangs up her phone She's like like Karen talks to her phone with her arm all the way extended and her phone held out, like she believes it's gonna give her, you know, some kind of radiation.

But then she's like, okay, I'm done. And she hangs up and then she like hikes back the hill to go inside. What are you hiding? Tell me what you're hiding. It's in the book, it's in the book. Okay, I can't give way all my secrets. So let's see what other housewives things

are going on right now in town. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, like, no, again, I'm not a parent. So when I talk about parenting things, I fondly like to talk out of my ass, but is it like common that if you have like a nice laptop, you just like let your kids use it? Because I would like keep mine in a security closet. I would like they would get like some sort of like laptop that looks like Frogger or something, like that's like rubber around the edges,

and mine would be just an evolved. Oh, honey. Well, first that you think that you give permission to your kids to use your computer is hilarious, because that's not how kids work. If you have something, they have slimy shit all over it, no matter what happens. And second of all, no, you don't give your kids

a froggy computer because the second you do that, they still steal your computer, because froggy computer sucks. And these kids know how to fucking take talk when they're two I mean they're not gonna stand by with some froggy computer yes you will need a vault if you ever had a have a child yeah I just I'm like I just was like really mad I was mad at Robin for like for just like not keeping an eye on her laptop and I was mad at the children for not washing your hands before you

get and I was very happy that I didn't have children at that moment. Well, I'm just very glad we're not romantically involved because your way of having children is like luck, everything in a vault. Where my way of having a child is locking the child in a vault and just having whatever I want out on the counter, okay?

Get a daughter. I might do that too. I might do that too. No, I'm very much a loose-seal-bluth. Like, I want the children will be in line and not speaking until spoken to. So then let's see here. That's Robin's big scene today, wiping down her computer keyboard. And then Jacelle is calling Juan to say she's ready for the wedding ring. Let's plan something wacky. And then we go over to the Baltimore Book Fest

where Wendy is speaking at an event. That's like, yeah, she's like talking. She's like, it's just like smart, smart, smart, smart, smart. And then basically that whole scene is, yes, I am still too smart to be on this show and seen. Thank you. Yeah. I love that like Wendy is just on sort of a different show.

Like everyone else is, you know, like Robin, Robin Storyline is, oh my kids got juice on the, on the keyboard and Wendy's is like, should I stay as a tenant professor at Johns Hopkins University or should I follow my dreams of being a political commentator on this television? Just two different tracks. So then we go over to Karen and Ray in the kitchen and he's like, well, Karen, I'm noticing some goodies here today. It's like, well, I've got to make the girls happy on this trip, Ray.

It's like I got Starbucks. I love Karen. It doesn't even pretend anymore to actually make anything. It's like just everything comes out of a bag. That's my life these days, I feel like. This entire week I've just ordered everything off of Postmates. I've just been so lazy. Do do do.

I know. Do do do. Oh, that fucking sound. Dong dong dong. Ring doorbell. And Ashley doesn't know how to use the Ring doorbell, which is hilarious. Ashley's like the last person in America to get a Ring doorbell. Did you see her whole face up on the Ring doorbell and Ashley doesn't know how to use the ring doorbell which is hilarious. Ashley's like the last person in America to get a ring doorbell. Did you see her whole face up on the ring doorbell?

No, I did not. Trying to talk speak into the little camera part. Karen got a good shot of Ashley's dental work on that ring doorbell. We had many listeners who wrote in to tell us that you can actually change the ring, the chime on the ring doorbell. It's just that too many people are. So there's just so many people who are lazy. It reminds me.

Speaking of Cynthia, I don't know why I go to Cynthia because she's not the only one who is, who does this. It's like when people just stick with the generic ringtone that comes with your iPhone. It's just, some people just don't change it. Yeah, my parents are like that. They just don't change it. I didn't know that you could change the ring So that was good. That was a good tip for me

But that was old information because I went on there and that was no longer an option I could change the tone on my phone like the notification tone on my phone But I don't think it changed on the actual ring, but I don't know no one cuts to my house. What the fuck do I know? I don't maybe it did change Maybe but it looks like you have the doorbell tone I don't know but I want to be able to make my own ringtone you know you know I love my homemade ringtone it just be like head batch yeah that's what it would be all through your house head That's bad. Bad. Bad. Maddie can't buy a doorbell. So she's like, well, I'm actually participating in the homecoming parade, Ray, and he's like, oh, okay.

That's Ray even been here since the last scene. I think he actually has been there since the last scene. I think he's been sitting on that stool this entire time since like last week in the week before He's just waiting for another helping of choney and sea bass Yeah, exactly Patagonian toothbrush so So Ashley shows up and this is Dean's first time Like that is her first time leaving Dean overnight and read like oh

Okay, I don't care, but that's great for you. He's like, where's baby Dean? And cared like, Ray, Ray, Ray. She hates his attachment to the baby, apparently. So Ashley tells us, two hours away seems like an okay amount of distance to be from the family. But last time I left things didn't go quite too well. I think Michael is turned his lint is less than the now he knows what's on the line and he's going to be on his best behavior. I put a track on his bidding, he

just doesn't know it. And then it's not even on the booty. She goes, I slipped it right in. And then she makes the noise. She didn't feel it. She just like, didn't feel it. Slid part in. What's that strange feeling back there? It's like a reverse peep icon of enjoyed it. So then just outcomes. And everyone's trying to act excited.

You know, but just Ellen Ashley, you're both kind of like, what the fuck are we doing? I know. It's like, we've already had to go to the countryside to go to the next house, and then we go to the countryside again. And so Ray is like, I'm not trying to rush you out or anything, honey.

But let's go. Come on. Get out of the house. Gone. Come on. Yeah. And it doesn't feel mean because he's in khakis and like a work, like a business shirt, you know?

So it always feels like he's just being like, oh, sweet old man. But he's so mean, Karen like reaches out of the car to get a kiss. She pokes her head out and he just slams the door in her face. And then the editors make it 10 times. It's like, no, watch it again. It's so bad. It's so bad. It's so bad.

It's so bad. And her lips are just like fully pocketed. It can't even be confused. It's not like she's leaning forward to say something She's like, okay, I want to kiss the book kiss the book It's like bonk and just L of course is like well Ray can't push her out fast enough Karen is gonna see all her family and he wasn't invited but me and Ashley were well, that's a little weird, but that's okay Yeah, well, that's a TV show, Giselle.

The producers put this together. Don't be so surprised. Yeah. I also thought it was funny that Giselle got put in the way back of the car. Like, like, she was all the way back there. Yeah, that's the Giselle. So Giselle's like, are we going to go to the Taco Bell? You worked out.

And then we see that clip of Karen at the reunion saying, well, I'm no snob, Andy. For, as a matter of fact, my first job was at the Taco Bell and Burger King, which I remember being horrified that she, listen, there's no shame in any job, okay? My first job was cooking in a bowling alley, okay? So it's not that, it's not that you worked at a Burger King or that you worked at a Taco Bell, is that you worked in one of those ones that are combined Yeah, I know because those are just shameful those are shameful places, okay

And I know because I eat it them every time I pass one because at first you're like how can I not have up slice of pizza from pizza Hut and a hamburger from a Burger King at the same time, you know, right? And then you just feel so dirty while you do it. Just feel so wrong. Yeah, I know. There's one on the five highway going up to, if you go up to San Francisco, there's like one right out of Bakersfield,

and it's like the king of all the combo fast food places. It's like every combination you could have wanted. It's like burger combination you could have wanted. It's like Burger King and Subway Arbise and Starbucks Oh, that's who is no and Sparrows, I don't know. It's just like whoa And also that such a trap to be on the way that it's like a test before you get to like San Francisco pride

You know because you know you get there and they just smell that shit on you It's like oh so a pizza hut and an arby's nice No, you're not getting laid this weekend, sir That's true. I never thought about that. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown all are, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen

to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Well anyways, speaking of tests, we now go over to Candice's house where she's making a strawberry and cracker plate or not cracker. They were actually like the biscoff Those things that you got in the airplanes little biscuits, you know We know that she's still very traumatized because there are a lot of stacked plates on her I was gonna say she still has like her stuff. She has all the stacked plates a whole bunch of those Those knobby candlesticks.

They're all out there. A lot of those placemats that are made out of like beaded glitter. Mm-hmm. Glitter beads. And speaking of beaded, so Robin shows up and she looks like she's ready to start seeing some show tunes, right?

She has like a little like, she's wearing a baseball cap, but it's like a leopard skin heart pattern. And then her, she's wearing a baseball cap but it's like a leopard skin heart pattern and then she's wearing a sweatshirt with all sorts of like, like rhinestones on it or studs. They're little metal, they're little metal circles. Like, like, what do you call it? You put a screw in, you know how you have to use those

little flat things and then you put the screw through the flat hole. What's the flat hole? Oh, the um, um, um, bumpers, I think I'll bumpers. Washer, the washer, washer, washer, washer, she's wearing like, just thing of little washers. And I was like, do they even sell that outside Orange County? Like, that's a lot of blending of housewives.

She definitely like, but didn't she give you that look of someone who like, her day job or night job is that she's on Broadway? And then, like, it's like if you asked the Broadway star to come help out with a, like, to come to your garage sale, this is how the Broadway star would dress. Yeah, you know, Broadway stars love like a flashy sweatshirt and like, like a, a busy baseball cap when they're being low-keyed.

Yeah. So she comes over and she's like, well, you did all this for me. It looks so nice. I mean, place settings and everything. And Candice is, you know, being very fancy. And so they start talking and Robin starts bitching about the meeting that Karen had.

She's like, well, our presence was requested. And then Monique had no remorse. And she's just sitting there making excuses and not remorse with all she didn't feel bad at all. And normally I would think Candice would say that is such bullshit but instead she goes, I do not need to cry about this but it's like bullshit. I'm like okay, she's crying again. Yeah'm like, okay, you're crying. She's crying again. Yeah, she's crying into a poster board.

And Robin's like, where are you crying? She's like, because I am shocked. I am shocked that you would act like this and have no remorse. And she's like, yeah, I'm really disappointed in Karen because she is not publicly expressed and he just approval of Ashley. Cut to Karen saying Ashley or Monique I love you. I'm sorry. I messed that up disapproval of of Monique and so then we cut to Karen saying Monique I love you about you fuck up

You fucked up. So I guess she means public as in Not on national TV or meaning that like at that meeting She was like well you made a mistake but we all make mistakes for instance I went a little crazy with those balls from Pier one on the counter so please go take one bring it home for you if you want I've got too many so Karen Canvas is like I told Karen if you were me what would you do I mean and then she said without even taking a breath she said well I would press charges.

And Robin starts kind of laughing. Robin's almost cracking up in this whole scene. It's very dramatic scene, but Robin seems to almost be laughing the whole time. And she's like, oh, are you gonna press charges? And, okay, this is considering it because she felt like she has trauma from it, and it was like a violation of her personal space,

which is true, it was definitely a violation of her personal space, which is true. It was definitely a violation at the very least. And, but then she's like, you know what? Enough about her. I knew there was something on and I don't want to gossip, but are you okay with your taxes? I know there's probably got to be some crazy, salacious story and Robin's like, oh, I messed up turbo tax. It's like, oh, is that it? Yeah. And then we see Robin calling her accountant.

And she's like, I'm sitting here looking at a notice of federal tax lien filing. Whoops. And Candace is like, that is the worst. And she's like, yeah, I'm a really bad accountant apparently. So don't use TurboTax. Poor Robin. And they were just about to get a new house. I feel like all of America's dreams, we were like finally, she's moving out of the

condo because remember when she was originally moving out of the condo and she just moved into the same condo with an extra room attached. I was like, please get yourself a proper house. Even though a condo is a proper house, but you know, like a real housewives house, you know? Yeah. So Juan is of course really upset because he was really looking forward to leaving the condo and now they can't

because there's this lean. So, what? Yeah, and Candace tells us, isn't this the woman that told Karen how can you not know you owe money to the IRS? And then we see a clip of Robin screaming at Karen. When the Washington Post publishes a story, there was a $5 million tax debt. I do not believe that you did not know.

And Karen just says, look at you now, girl. True, but also like, like Rob, I mean, Karen is like famously shady with, with the truth. Like her truth is always a little questionable and Robin is Famously stupid with her money. I mean her entire like her entire first season It was because she and one gave their money to their friend. He was like, yeah, I'm just gonna do I'm going to invest this money And lots of money and then you're gonna have but Jillian dollars like okay And me like ran off with their money, which is terrible

But I'm just saying that like you know, I think after that Well, I was gonna say after that. I would think that Robin would be smarter and how she uses her money But she actually probably is is like probably a little traumatized from that and doesn't trust anyone else with her money Which explains why how she got into this mess in the first place. I figured it out You got to the end of the circle out. You got to the end of the circle. I do. But also this is like a lesson to housewives on how to deal with the controversy, right? Because Karen was like, what? Taxes, what's that? I don't even know what a tax is. I'm not a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I did pay it. I love taxes. Of course I paid my tax. Whereas Robin's like, yeah, I've hooked up turbo tax. The end.

Yeah, I mean, it's true. Oh, you have to make millions to oh, millions, and I've spent all my money on my taxes. We're talking of course about vehicles that take you from one place to another, right? And Canvas is like, don't worry, I'm gonna pray for you. Okay, how about you just take the R out of that. I'm gonna pay for you, okay?

That's what your friend needs to hear right now. I need your prayers. I fucked up the turbo tax, okay? Get on the phone with Dorothy. Get mama, get mama to help out. Yeah. So then we hear some country music down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding like you went to an outhouse or something. And of course, it's like a totally modern thriving amazing farm. And it actually has this amazing, amazing backstory, which is that it was basically like Karen's family. They were formerly slaves on this property. And then they were actually were able to get the property and they owned the farm and they expanded it and they passed down to the generations. It's wonderful story. Wonderful. Yeah. So then we go meet her family at Valerie and Aunt Colleen who's the best and needs a role on the show Absolutely and basically just else just like I need tea on Karen

Nah and Karen tells the story of how Aunt Colleen took her to see Michael Jackson when she was a kid and she's like I thought I was gonna marry Michael Jackson When you took me to that concert and her aunt's like, Yes, Karen thought she was on the stage that whole time. Some things never change, isn't that great? She's like, well, and with that being said, listen, I'm going to introduce you to Littoya Jackson.

Oh, sorry. Keep forgetting she's not part of my family anymore. Littoya, the sister everybody dreams of. Latoya. Latoya. Let's give me some jam and some milk at the hell. Yeah, I mean, I think even Karen knows that Janet is too good for her, even in her fantasies. So they look at a bunch of family pictures and stuff and Karen hasn't been home since

they buried her father which is sad. So let's go on a tour. Let's go on a farm tour. I love the farm tour. So they're looking around. This farm apparently makes all these staples like corn and rice and soybeans and peanuts things like that.

And they, there's cousin Tommy who's on this giant tractor thing and like it that sort of like cuts down the the stocks of corn and like separates the corn. Oh it was like it was like fun like farm it's like old fashioned farm fun you know. And Karen's like uh Tommy tell them this corn is going to be sold he's like overseas everywhere. It's like, this corn is on a national tour. International tour, corn, ladies. Did you hear that? My next fragrance is gonna be the fragrance of corn. La-Dom corn. So much, there probably is like a popcorn fragrance.

I would love a corn fragrance. So, Monique, go ahead. Now, I don't think my observation was really worth anyone's time, including my own. I stopped immediately because I wanted you to go on your corn fragrance fantasy because I just know that there's one learning somewhere. No, no, my corn fragrance fantasy. It sounds like an album from the 90s. Corn fragrance fantasy by Michael Jackson an album from the 90s. Cornfrogs fans. No, I was gonna say something.

Cornfrogs fans. I was gonna say something. I'm Michael Jackson. Blan on the Cornfloor. Or Corn on the dancefloor. This was smooth operator. It was named after my cousin using the tractor. That's not actually, now I think about it.

But Shadow loves Corn too. It's what Grimmit is what I'm talking about? Griller Tommy's best corn album. I just can't stop sucking you It doesn't matter if you're corn or corn I'm looking at the corn in the mirror Do you remember the corn in the mirror. Do you remember the corn that we had on the farm?

Okay, so after they go on the tractor, Monique calls, she calls Ashley. And then we go to commercial because it's very dramatic. It's like Monique's calling, don, don, don, don. So we come back. She's like, well, I'm with Karen and she's all in Surrey. And Monique's like, God, I hate I miss, I hate I'm missing that. But you know, I'm just so drained. And Karen's like, well, I have to tell you Monique, I never thought my two friends would end up at two other ends And then Monika well, you know the sad thing with Candice is that if it wasn't me, it would have been someone else

I was like um don't say these things on camera again again stop confessing on camera, please Just say something like yeah, that was a crazy night. I wish it never happened. That would probably be a better thing to say on camera, even if you feel, even what you say is what you feel. And even if there may be some truth to that, like don't say it on camera. Okay.

Cause you're going to get, you're about to get serious. And so just else furious. So she walks away going, it's all dumb. It's lies. It's lies. And money is like, well, I'm going to get some rest now. So she, that's it going it's all dumb it's lies it's lies and money is like well I'm gonna get some rest now so she that's it that's whole conversation and just like listen I cannot like you beat somebody's ass and you were dead wrong and Candace should have pressed charges that night and Karen's like well I told Candace if it were mean and if

I was feeling as strong as Candace had been speaking to me, I would look into what I could do legally. And you know what? I would say... Never mind, I was gonna try to work in a Michael Jackson song, but I was like... I feel like this is not the moment to start singing. Beat it. So, um, Karen's like... She's basically like, I guess, you know, I'm gonna tell you what, I'm gonna tell you what I think though. I'm done! I'm done! I'm done! My friends are hurting each other and I can't celebrate that. I cannot celebrate that. I am officially done. And Ash, she's like, uh, so Karen's basically throwing her under the bus. I mean, what the hell? She's like, seeing is how Karen, seeing is how Candice looks at Karen like a mother figure.

I mean, Karen knew what she was doing there. So she's kind of intimating or insinuating that Karen is Karen's fault. It's Lossi that's coming down, right? At least that's how I took it. Well, Karen's maybe not, I mean, Karen is generally hypocritical, but I don't know if it really is necessarily hypocritical to tell Candace, well, if I were you, I would press charges and to tell Monique,

well, you know what, you just have to focus on going forward. They're not, I mean, you can actually, I think believe both things. I mean, it seems like that's hypocritical because it seems like you're supporting two people, but you're sort of, they're two different points, actually. Okay, so Karen's like, well, I just want a resolution, that's it.

And she says, well, this is my resolution. That girl's a lying motherfucker. I don't want to, even if you're on the phone with her, do not talk on the phone around me to her. I don't want to hear her voice. Yeah, so then we go over to Wendy, who's meeting up with her sister, Ivy. Ivy is like a surgeon.

And Wendy says that Ivy is like, you know, she's like the girl that stops her from making, like, Ivy's the one that stops Wendy from cursing other girls out, you know? And so they're at this restaurant, and Ivy's like, she's like, well, I just finished my last patient of the day and I can't tell you how excited I am to have had to get fully dressed up to shoot a scene on your show.

I'm not exhausted at all right now. I know, she looks pretty great for just having finished surgery. She's like this beautiful silver and black like a ball, gown type thing. And Wendy's some weird silk pajamas. I mean, they're having a very fancy penny. They're having a very fancy day of penny, by you, by you penny or whatever.

Yeah. And so Wendy's just, you know, she's talking about how she's just not sure she wants to go back to being a professor at Johns Hopkins and she needs to make a change in her life and she wants to focus on her political commentary and chase her passion, but she's like really scared to tell her mom about that. I mean, and I'd be like, you should be scared.

Yeah, I would be scared. I'm already scared. Yeah. And so she's like, okay, pretend that I'm mom. Hello, Wendy, how are you? Wendy's like, don't use that voice. It sounds just like mom. So I go, okay, what do you want to talk about?

So I go, well, my career. So I go, eh. Eh. Everything was eh. I just don't know if I want to do that anymore. Ehh! Ehh! I don't really have a plan. Ehh!

So you're going to leave the job that for I don't know. And she's like, uh, you're pretty good. I'm not going to be able to leave when the mom's not happy. She goes, because that's how she finishes it. She's like, you're going to leave a job to do. I don't know. Shh. Yeah, and because basically, you know,

Wendy has four degrees and has as a PhD. Ivy is a surgeon. So like the mom is just super proud that she's got these two daughters, these amazing degrees and just so accomplished. And so Wendy knows that by leaving John's Hopkins, she's gonna cause her mom's crown to kind of like fall to the side a little bit.

So she's like, eh, eh. That's me adjusting it back up. But yeah, I think it sounds like it's gonna be a tough conversation. God, my mom's just like so happy when I show up somewhere. She's like, wow, you made it. You got out of bed. Oh my God, did you do your laundry? Nice work. I know. My mom's like that. I told my mom I made a this like a lentil recipe from Ina Garten,

which is amazing. And my mom's like, I just want you to know your father and I are just so proud of you. You're so proud. We love you. It's like, thanks mom. I got made lentils. I'm like, like, my mom's just like, you're not dead yet. Well done, Ronnie. Well done. None of us thought you'd last this long. Good job. So. Ronnie, do you want to recap a terrible scene?

Oh, sure. Yeah. I hope it's just like a Reese Witherspoon movie. Maybe one of them, maybe it was like Twilight. No, original. Was she in Twilight? No, the original Twilight before it was Twilight. There was a movie with Paul Newman

and Reese Witherspoon and Susan Serandin called Twilight from 1998. Oh, no, this is not worth watching. This movie is called Four Christmas's starring, already mentioned, Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughan when they had to go see all their parents for Christmas and it opens with her going into a bar and pretending to be a stranger to her husband like turn some on then they bang. Oh, that's that's fun. Well, so now one in this case, this version of it is Vaughan showing up at a bar in like a little Newsycap and Robin in this case, this version of it, is Juan showing up at a bar in a little Newsycap and Robin in this big, big black wig, sort of like,

I want this, it's like the mom from the Adam's family, Ish, Ish, because it's not quite straight down, she sort of has it to the side. I don't know what, I don't know, I don't know what it reminded me of, but it was. Well, you know how when babies, when you have a baby, like I have so many, when you have a baby like I have so many when you have a baby You cut your hair so that the baby can't pull your hair all the time

Now I understand that Robin always has short hair because she will pull her own hair all the time See it does not even know how to deal with long hair. She keeps like lifting it up and pulling it and tugging it Not very smooth. Yeah, that whole look, Rob. That would be me. That will be me soon enough. My hair, I keep threatening to shave it all off, but I never do it. If I don't shave it off soon, I'm gonna have the same hair as the guy from the vow.

Okay, and that is like, that is. No one wants to look like the guy from the vow. Okay, I'm gonna look like Keith. I'm getting cute from here. I'm getting cute from here. So I have watched. Have you watched the whole thing? Well, they're up to you now.

I watched six, how many episodes are there now I've watched six of them and I thought it was good episode so I was like okay. I thought it was ending at six no I was like one more to get through just one more to get well we can discuss on the bonus episode Let's discuss on the bonus because I have a lot of thoughts have a lot of things to say about it so far Okay, so anyway, she's pretending to be someone named Tatiana and she's from Latvia. Yeah, and she has a very inconsistent accent, much like ours when we do blood-dack. And she's like, because she's like, oh, my name is Dylan. Oh, my second husband's name was Dylan

So look if I was trying to spice things up with my husband and I came dressed as like a woman named Tatiana to a bar And I said hey my name's Tatiana. I'm possibly a Russian hooker what say you if he didn't immediately say I am married I am married to the best man in the world How dare you man and kick me the fuck out of that restaurant he'd be in trouble. Wow, that's a really high standard for roleplay. That's be faithful even to roleplay. So she's like, oh, barkeep! Can I have a more teeny and I'd like a dirty? And the bartender just stares at her like, what the fuck is happening here? So they're starting to talk about like how they need to have these moments because they you know

More of these moments they can just connect from the real world blah blah blah blah blah So speaking of disconnecting from the real world. Let's talk about my tax issues You're ruining role play Robin It's really like oh, I thought role play man. I had to play with dinner rolls. Oh So they talk about her taxes and basicallymen I had to play with dinner rolls. Oh. So they talk about her taxes and basically he had nothing to do with it. And she's like, well, you know, it's been really rough with my taxes and things for basically like if I just submitted some paperwork, I wouldn't be in this situation. And he's like, well, that's on you.

I was like, aw, so sweet. She probably forgot to report her earnings from that flip that she did. That's probably what the issue is. Also, there was something really important I was gonna say and I forgot about that now. Okay, so that was fun. Oh, you know what it was? So I noticed on this episode a lot of the women were debuting new interview looks. It looks like it's sort of like the mid season interview

change up and speaking of long wigs in Robbins interview. She actually has a long wig. I think it's the first like a proper long wig, not just like a target wig, you know? Like she was like in a like a full on beautiful wig. And I feel like that was the first time I've really seen her like that. It looked really cool.

It reminded me of like when Lee Serena put on like a put or even Countess Luan, they put on a ponytail for the first time and then they're like, wait, I wanna do this in all my interview looks now. And notice it was pulled back into a ponytail so she couldn't pull it. So then we go back to the farm and it's day two and Karen's like, oh, I've got butterflies.

Oh, I'm coming butterflies. And so they arrive at this place where she's gonna do the parade and she has a Bentley her cousin's waiting there with the Bentley for her her cousin by the way her cousin is like an ever I feel like every scene her cousin shows up and they hug it's like it's like well I'm in the living room I'm on my cousin there you are and I'm gonna walk out of the kitchen you're there again let's hug again I'm like how many times how is he able to pop up every in every single place you know the old month leading up to this

was the biggest pain in the ass for the pork I said. Oh really? And what am I gonna be riding on? A Bentley I hope. Did you get a Bentley? It better be a Bentley. I'm telling you, right now, it better be a Bentley. And when we go out on that farm, they better be some corn.

Mm. If this is just like a Potemkin village for her, just like, you just put like all the facades up. Yeah So yeah, the it's not even a real town Actually, it's not a town so so So they get there but like Karen Karen won't let Jacelle and actually Ryan the Bentley, whether she makes them stand in a tent. And so, they're basically, they're raising on the sidelines and Karen gets into this car.

And she's just like riding around in this like, very quaint, adorable, small town. It felt weird, I don't know. I thought the Bentley felt a little, like, a little ostentatious. For a certain reason. Yeah, it's scary. You know she made her cousin get that, but that cracks me.

It's probably usually like a pickup truck or something, you know? Yeah. Cause there's like a lady's on some sunsets, like some fold out football seats or whatever. And they're like, hi! It's like, hello, sir! It's me, guys! She's just like waving.

It's like, oh, thank you for all the tens and tens of people who came out today. Yeah, and just like, well, there's only seven people in the town, so have fun. So I hear it all shade, does that all I hear it? She goes, you know, why does Giselle think that she's the word on the street in Kassari County? Like, you weren't the word in the street in New Orleans, nobody knew you were shaking your tempering on your ass going down that street. And here's the difference.

Queendom. Queendom. And corn. Lots and lots of corn. Condem, queendom. Queendom of the Condem. So yeah, she's like, I'm home, I'm home. And she's just like throwing candy at people.

Yeah. The two people put in there. So funny. So then just all of a sudden, Asher walking by themselves. And they start talking about rain and rain Karen. And Asher's like, well, if Ray wants to slow her life, I mean, she came from this. So she's probably used to it.

And she's like, well, that's why she's fighting it. She needs this whole Adam thing. Yeah, exactly. And then as she turns it into, like, somehow makes it about herself, talking about how, like, Karen and Ray are, like, different people than who they were when they got married, and it reminds her of her and Michael, and they're different and yada yada yada. Yeah, basically because they're both old. They're both very older, you know. And so Ash is like, well, if this happens again, I'm going to be a single parent.

And she's like, well, you have a perky booty and you'll be fine. And then so you hear the police car coming. You hear like, which means the parade is about to come through. The police just opened the window and start pelting everybody with candy. Like hard candy. Okay. Hard candy. Exactly.

And then you just see Karen waving on that Bentley, my people, my people. And someone gives her a baby to hold. I mean, you want to talk about orchestrated. It's like, okay, cue the baby. cue the baby. We're almost at the stop sign. That's the baby. That's called for the baby. Call for the baby. Tell the new, better have a baby on that Bentley. I'm telling you right now.

Just like this is ridiculous. I'm just like, oh my god, I think I'm gonna cry. I'm gonna cry. Well, you know what? I see her in a different lens now. At least 100%. She made it out. She married well. She started a perfume line. In this town's mind, she is Beyonce. I think Beyonce is Beyonce. It's not like these people are like cut off from society. They're just in a small town. That's all. They know exactly who Karen is. They're like, oh my god, we gotta take a picture of Karen Hueger. She's on a Bentley in her town. This is ridiculous. Yes. So then we go over to Candace, who is at the, at the shelter.

It's going to say the pound. I don't know if you say that. Very nice. The pound is very different. So she's at the dog shelter with her mother Dorothy. We haven't seen yet. Yeah. And Candace is in the market for a cockapoo.

And she tells us something really interesting. She says, I've always loved dogs. We've always had them growing up, and I feel like a dog has a great test to see if I'm ready to be a mom. I'm like, wow, you really opened my eyes. I never thought about that concept before. Someone who loves dogs.

First of all, it's amazing that someone loves dogs and grew up with dogs. That's crazy, and then you're gonna use a dog as a test figure to see if you're going to be a mom. Wow. Wow. Oh, gosh. So the mom is there.

And she's like, they basically find a little chihuahua, which is cute and terrifying. That chihuahua is. I thought that chihuahua was really cute. I'm not like chihuahua's or not super high on my list of dogs that are like my favorite dogs in terms of like aesthetics. Although, Bueller is special because Bueller is half Chihuahua, half pit.

So Bueller is just like, Yeah, I was covering Bueller's ears. That's why you were saying that. I didn't know where you were. No, no, no, no, no, no. I just met like a straight up classic Chihuahua. It's just like not my favorite. Not saying that they're bad.

It was like not my favorite, you know? But this Chihuahua was a dorks and I loved him and I was actually angry that Candice did not adopt that moglie because he should be like if Candice knew how to really fight the fight she would have gotten like a pet to rival to Chala. Because right now it's a Chala has pure pet supremacy on the show and she's doing nothing to rival that Yeah, she should have probably would have been the answer Yeah, yes Rescuing parents

So they start talking and she tells her mom. She's going to therapy and her mom's like Candice epizes me off. They were violently attacked. I don't know restaurant threatening to kill someone who threatens to kill someone The only person who's beating you upside the head is me. I know. I know. And Candice is, she's talking about how like Monika's not remorseful. She's laughing about it. She's key-kicking on social media and spreading lies,

the blogs, and the press. And that's also what's like really her fault. And she goes, you know what? Not hearing from her. Not her not being remorseful. It feels like a slap in the face which unfortunately I know exactly how that feels because of you mother Yeah, feels like a slap in the face with a knockoff Louis bag So the mom's like we will knock in the gather. This is what we call the attorney and

She's like So then Karen takes the girls back to the church that she was raised in and they look at the window that their parents donated and that's super sad. Karen just cries. It was really sad. It was sad. The cousin was there with the church. I want to bet the church.

You get me a church by Bentley or I'm not coming cousin. I'm like, wasn't he just right? Driving the car for her. Now he's at the church, I don't know. But yeah, so it was really, it was really sweet. And you know, it's, you know, talking about, you know, parents and grandparents and generations and childhood and she starts, she starts, you know, sobbing in the back room. My heart really went out for her and for anyone who's experienced loss like that.

I know I hate sad. That's hard. Fast forward. I know I hate in the back room. My heart really went out for her and for anyone who's experienced loss like that. Just, I know I hate sad things. That's hard. Fast forward. I know I hate sad things. Fast forward. Fast forward to like funny sadness, okay? Yeah. Monique's house.

Monique's house. Monique with Tichala. So she's like, oh, you better not poop on me. A little stress reliever. And Chris is like, who are you talking to, the bird? Oh, forget about friends. Just talk to that damn animal. Yeah. And T'Challa goes, darn right. So they are bringing over the pastor and his

wife, the first lady, the pastor and the first lady. Yeah. And they, they're going to come over to like, you know, to help her. And Monique has been taking notes on how she got there. Her friendships and everything. And you know, she feels like people have been writing her off and her life's been turned upside down by this whole fight. And you know, she's just trying to understand how like she, she allowed someone to push her outside of her normal behavior.

So the pastor and the first lady show up, and you know what I liked about them? They were super. I know you noticed it. A dick line? Yes, and his jogging pants. I did not notice that because I was like, the pastor came out.

I'd come over with the dick line and this drawing hands. Okay, he's throwing off his package right now in the scene. Come on. Well, that would explain why I wrote this down. The pastor and the first lady are super slow walkers, because they walked into that kitchen so slowly. I was like, well, he, that would make sense.

If he's got a boner, he's probably going to walk slowly. So he doesn't say the boner just to Dickline, you know? Oh, just to Dickline. Yeah, just to Dickline. Like he's walking in his jogging pants and like you see a Dickline, that's it. Well, he probably realized he had a dick line So he's like I want to walk slowly so people don't know it's my dick line

He's like I'm just gonna stand behind this fish tanks and I'll see oh, oh, Danny. It's it's back-to-fied It's back-to-fied. We definitely noticed two very different things about this bastard. I'm like you walk so slowly Well, I'm gonna go back and look at his dickline. You go back and look at us slowly. So they basically sit down with them and talk about it. And she's like, well, my adrenaline is finally calm since last week. And he's like, well, you mentioned blacking out. So we should probably talk about that. And she's like, well, here's what I remember. We were going back and forth. And then she was provoking me. And I think that was that. And I mean, maybe I just reached my tipping point.

And he's like, uh, he's making it. It's in the realm of possibilities. And it's like, so where do we get to the point where there is an explosion? And she's like, well, look, I'm not a hostile person. OK, it's just not me. But with Candice, you know, she's a person that manipulates things.

And, you know, I was noticing person that manipulates things and you know I was noticing her aggressive behavior and her combativeness and he's like, okay This is when by the way, this is when he starts to read her for Phil. Yes It was amazing It was he was great. I have no ideas. Pastors could do this like I didn't know that pastors were like I mean, I knew that you go to advice firm your pastor or whatever, but I just figured they were my pastor would just say, pray. That's what you do. You say you're sorry. I feel like that's the end. Have a cookie, Ronnie. I feel like that's what we've usually seen on Bravo is when people turn to religious figures. They usually say

it's things that are comforting and thoughtful and nice, but it's usually like that. Like, we'll pray on that or something, but this guy was like, no, I'm gonna read you to Phil, and I'm gonna get you to where you need to be, and he did it. I mean, he was great. Yeah, he was good. So, so he's like, well basically, the person you're dealing with, you're calling your friend, is actually a mirror reflection of who you are, and we need to be honest with ourselves, and that might be hard for you because you're used to orchestrating and controlling and dominating. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I'm not just saying that because you've put out not-fuel-azy mom mugs on this entire table and are using a not-fuel-azy mom notepad to write down these observations. Yeah, I'm not mad at you just because you're trying to use a pastor session to sell your shit. Okay, we go even beyond that.

He's like, what you're used to it because you had to protect everything as a child. And so you're very protective. And when I met you, you were a fighter because you had been bullied when you were younger. And then you met Chris and you had to prove yourself over and over and over again. And I'm like, wow, this guy's known her forever then. Yeah, I mean, I think he's been around for a while. I think it's the same pastor that we saw. I think way back a few seasons ago.

So he's basically talking about how she's been in survivor mode since she was a kid. And, you know, but she doesn't like talking about it, which is the problem. And she starts saying how she's just like really tired for being criticized. She's tired of having people nitpick everything she does. By the way, great job being on reality TV.

That's exactly like you're literally exposing yourself up for that, but I understand. And so she's like, she's tired of people nitpicking and she feels like she has to prove herself when she knows her self worth. And so then the pastor's like, well, then why was that such, ask yourself, why is that such a trigger?

He's like, you know, in your mind, you are like perfect, right? You are the ideal, right? Cause she just said, like I'm sick of having to try to prove myself when I know myself worth. He's like, but you're around all these people who are just not impressed with your perfection and that causes the stain and that is frustrating.

And it's not, you know, it's not her fault, but it's something you need to reconcile inside of you. And then that's when she sort of has an aha moment of like oh, I oh, I get it because I'm saying I Like if I'm saying I'm perfect and other people say I'm not perfect Then like I can't deal with that and so she starts Well, I'm not basically but it's one interpretation So she starts crying and she's like yeah, there's been so much pressure and this had nothing to do with her She did deserve that which I did not expect to hear.

I didn't either I felt it was sincere too and he's like well the had nothing to do with her and Chris is like well I would like to reach out to Chris because I really liked him and I didn't even call him we should be friends too. Of course it's about Chris being friends with Chris. Yeah. So I got, I didn't want him to think that I was mad at him. V5O, um, yeah. So money, cycle, I need to sit down and apologize to her. But then, don, don, don, don, well, she's probably not going to get a chance to, because she's about to get charges pressed.

Yeah. Exactly. It's too little too late. Although I was genuinely happy that Monique had like that that revelation because I did I was a little surprised that she was so unremorseful, you know, and so it was like I thought was really good that she finally got a moment of introspection out of this and I I just loved the way the past searches letter there. That was so great. I loved that. I know God makes me want to go back to church again, but I won't Everybody thanks so much for being here for real housewild Potomac. We will be back tomorrow with the season finale of below deck Mediterranean

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