Watch What Crappens - RHOP: The Fertile Crescent City

Episode Date: June 4, 2019

The "Real Housewives of Potomac" continue their trip to New Orleans with a harrowing visit to a plantation that leaves everyone thoughtful and introspective. For about five minutes. Then it's back to drinking, which leads to a sloppy fight between Ashley and Candiace about pregnancy. Let The Good Times Roll! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Watch what crap bins. Watch what crap bins. Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap bins. Chikouji! Watch what you're craving, kids what? Happens when this song, if happens, if you want, crash, or what you want to be. Kids what, happens when this song, if happens, if happens. Hello, and welcome to Watch our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real House Wares of Kitchen Island.

It's a cartoon available on YouTube, just finished writing the latest episode. So the new episode will be up soon. So thank you everyone. I've been a delinquent on getting a new episode up. And joining me is someone who is not a delinquent at all. In fact, he is the opposite of a delinquent. He's a obedient, lovely person. It's Ronnie Kerr. Oh, obedient. I don't know what the opposite of open this. What's the opposite of delinquency law

abiding on time. I don't know. He's Ronnie Caram. Funny, wonderful, Ronnie Caram, who I guess the reason why he's not the link is because you reliably turns out new episodes of Rose Pricks, which is a bachelor and bachelor at podcast every single week. So look at that. Yeah, look at that. You guys, this is a bachelor and bachelor at podcasts every single week. So, well, look at that. Yeah, look at that. You guys, this is a really exciting week for us because we are heading to Milwaukee this weekend.

We have a show this Friday in Milwaukee. It's going to be Milwaukee Pride also. So we still actually have tickets. So go to watch our crap and dot com and buy tickets to come see us Friday night in Milwaukee. We're going to have an absolutely amazing time. Don't worry about going alone. People who go alone always meet lots of friends. It's a great, great time.

You know, and because, you know, we're not about playing the gay card. So, you know, if you don't come to see us on Pride, that means you just, you don't support gay people. So, we just, it's just out there. We've already, like, we've drawn that line. And then on Saturday, we'll see a bunch of you guys, a few hundred of you guys in Minneapolis. Excited about that. Now, the other thing about our touring news is that we just put some new shows on sale last week. Indianapolis and New York City.

New York City sold out, like sold out like before. I think it didn't even make it to the general public on sale. So we added a second date. So we have a second show for New York City, a late show that's already mostly sold out also. So if you want to see us in New York, you really have to hop onto that one because we are not gonna be adding any more shows. Indianapolis is still on sale. And then next month, we're going to Cleveland

and we're going to Baltimore and then in September, we're going to Nashville. So we have tons of shows for you to come see us at. And we're announcing a new one tomorrow. We're pretty much can be announcing a new one every single week for the next few weeks. So we're really excited about that and all those tickets, all that information is at watchacrapins.com where you can also get merchandise. Ronnie, tell them about the merchandise. We have TMLVP shirts and DOOOOO RINDO! And Monteney Madison as well as just

you know regular watch of crap and shirts. Me, you can even buy them for your baby. He doesn't want a baby walking around with a Monteney shirt. Yeah, I think it's great messaging. And you know what, like you know I know the fact that we have a team LVP shirt and not a team everybody else shirt makes us seem incredibly biased But guess what we're a podcast. We're not news. So we're allowed to be biased everyone. Sorry. Sorry

I was gonna do when with the same picture of LVP with a big No sign on it, you know like a no smoking Block out thing, but I was just too lazy to upload it. Yeah, that's fine You know, it's probably what wants to let us know. We'll do anything for many. We're more like that. That's true. That's true. If we see that there's a demand for a we will, we will. Like if someone wants us to do like some merch, that's like a picture of a chimney with a bird on it. Well, like sure. Yeah, I mean, like you'll give me $10. I'll totally do that. Like I'm in for the bird on the chimney. Sure. I'm in. I'm I'll do anything anything for love And also we're doing two video recaps a week this week

We're gonna do real housewives of Beverly Hills and we're gonna do Bolognics mid premiere so it's or are we doing summer house? But actually know what why don't we do the summer house finale? Is that we have a video for summer house? We haven't so why don't we just the summer house finale? Because we have a video for summer house. So why don't we just do, well, we can, we'll do Beverly Hills and summer house. And so we record those at noon Pacific time. And you can find those at Crapperms on Demand over on Patreon.

And thanks to everybody who supports us on Patreon. We love you. Yeah. Now let's get into some of these. Oh, and also, if you don't livestream them, you can also catch all the videos. We've got 40 something up there now. So go check them out.

Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, but you know what? We are, we it's a Monday. We are ready to dive into this week. And we're going to start the week off with some real house on the Potomac, which is in New Orleans, conveniently timed for the premiere of Southern Charm New Orleans, which we're going to talk about in the bonus episode this week.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting a lot of it. I made it sound like I had more to say, but I didn't. Yeah, I thought you were going to keep going. I'm just scrolling through looking at what what this episode was. This is basically, you know, for Tamer Abarty, when she became Christian, and then we had to like, wait a couple years for her to return to Satan. Yeah. Just all lasted five minutes. I mean, she, her nice girl,

I act lasted literally like seven minutes long, okay? Yeah, yeah, no, Jacelle doesn't have a nice girl act. Jacelle is just, Jacelle, but that's, I've always been a fan of Jacelle and her shadiness. So for me, I was really happy that her nice girl thing only lasted for a few minutes or seconds really. I just wish the thing that bugs me about jazel is she never waits for something real to

jump on. It's always stupid shit like your mad that Karen didn't tell you what her price point was for her products. Let me come on. That's really a fight. Well, that's what Potomac is so good at. They have like really, really petty fights. You know, they really, like it could be about like someone picked up a pine cone and didn't

like alert someone else that they were holding a pine cone. It's like, yeah. Now, how could you have a pine cone and not tell me knowing my daughters have to make a diorama for school tomorrow? Wow. Second only to real housewives of Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills. But the thing is that they treat their pine cone drama

like it's way more seriously. There's a lot more like a simpering and or not simpering. Well, whimpering and simpering, I don't know which word is correct. I don't know if they are both words necessarily. But there's just a lot more Kyle Richards being like, oh I just, you know, I wanted to tell her about the pine cone, but like, I don't know who, you know,

they're both my friends and I don't know what to be loyal to. It's like, okay, it's a pine cone. Yeah, well we literally saw Doreet for a whole season going, I saw you pine cone! I saw it! My husband saw you pine cone! You know what, I don't, I don't care what the fuck. I don't care what the fuck you see my pine cone again?

C'mon! C'mon! C'mon! Yeah, and like Dallas, the way Dallas would handle the pine cone would be great, because Leanne would just take the pine cone and crush it in her hands like there's your pine cone now and then like scattered on top of Brandy's head. The blood's just dripping down from her hand Yeah, there would be and if we're Atlanta they would have a giant off-screen fight about the pine cone

And then Neenie would write a lot of comments on Instagram like love your pine cone love your pine cone great pine cone, you know Yeah, Neenie would be like making the sounds of the pine cone Yeah, and then you would be like making the sounds of the pine cone business than Chazelle, which is very offended. She's like a string Joe was introduced to you and you owe you you have all the answers and I thought damn me and Karen are friends. No, it's just that you violated her trust in you. So therefore she's not going to like lead with what's new with her business that way you can sabotage it on camera.

Yeah, and you're like, hmm, I'm a little tired of the bullshed. I'm going to get some fresh out. Some fresh, do not follow me. Do not follow me. I'm going to be getting fresh out outside right here. Two feet from this table. Do not. Security.

Security. Someone's following me to come and follow me. So then Candy Ask goes out to talk to her and lets Shima, of course, she lets the cameras out there. Yeah, yeah, exactly. She's basically like, she's like, you know, aren't like asking if she's okay. And she's like, yes, yes, I'm great, I'm great, I'm perfectly fine. I love how Karen acts like she's totally fine, even though she just had a tantrum and stormed out of their little cooking school

Well, you know just as she's changed and then she shows up at dinner in this totally different because she has an audience and that's why I don't trust you But then we also see a montage of Jorzel making fun of Karen's businesses over the years and Like it it's like okay. Yes Karen has a a point but at the same time it's really funny Yeah, really it win just else just like making fun of Karen left and right because by the way the other thing is that Karen is full of bullshit too. Let's not act as if Karen is sitting on like some proprietary information that is going to skyrocket her to the top of the Forbes 500 lists Well, hey look not everyone can just like Karen. Well, hey, look, not everyone can just find like Karen. No, okay.

Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks.

Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks.

Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. Not everyone can just find like the 80 bucks. And Juselle keeps on saying, like, Karen, I don't care about your business. Like, Juselle, what was this fight about then? Yeah, she's like, it's not about that. When, of course, that's totally what it's about. And so Karen's like, well, you know, let's look at it like this. She didn't have the intro me to anyone, and that was big of you. And I thank you for that. But I just didn't know what I just didn't know I offended you Chisel I never thought my wildest dreams I would smell so delicious while offending you and just like I just want us to be friends oh shut up just else just so full of crap my god and it's only episode four so I'm not frothing at the mouth yet about how evil Chisel is but give me time she's really warming me up. Yeah, okay

Well, then Candace is like we're not talking about me So let's see if I can just sort of pivot this conversation in an awkward way and she's like hey, Jacelle I really do need your therapist by the way I really do because I have so many issues. Let me just fold this napkin into a triangle and get it ready because I have to do some I dabbing in a moment. Yeah, are there any like cardboard coasters I can use because they're already square? But one thing I wanted to add was that Giselle does nothing. She doesn't apologize. She doesn't do anything. She just says she didn't start a fight and then she goes, you see? I've been working on that compassion thing. It's totally working. It's like, what are you talking about? You did literally

nothing right in this scene. So yes, it can. He's like, oh yeah, your therapy is working. It's like what are you talking about? You did literally nothing right in this scene. So yes, it can he's like, oh yeah, your therapy is working. I meet your therapist. And Robin's like, are you okay? Have I mentioned that me and one are doing it like bunny rabbits? I fucked one like 30 times today. Anyone, anyone, anyone. this can't us starts talking about how um you know when you grow up like the daughter of a therapist you need a therapist for the therapist and you know when I was 10 years old my mom diagnosed me as bipolar and which you know it I think it's hilarious because you just know that Dorothy's been trolling her daughter for all these years it It's amazing. Um, it's ashes like, Candace's mother needs to get her medical license revoked because I don't know anyone who had diagnosed

her a children with something as severe as bipolar. I'm like, well, how maybe a therapist who's profession is diagnosing someone by polar saw it. Yeah. It's like what your doctor is not, if a doctor has kids, they're not allowed to give them cold medicine when they get a cold Come on. Yeah Like literally no one would know better than her, but I'm saying literally a lot every other word right now saying literally I don't know why guys. It's my it's my I think it's probably my My influence Maybe she's maybe can this is bipolar because she just wants to like

Maybe she's maybe Candace is bipolar because she just wants to like By polar bears a lot like stuff polar bears as a child. I don't know. You know what? We'll just move on. Thank you for taking you away from my literally. Thank you Yeah, I was like let me just like let me throw on a let me jump on a grenade Let me let me jump on a polar bear a stuffed polar bear joke and we'll distract you literally From your literally literally distract you. Yeah, you're gonna literally distract you, A.F. Yeah. So Candice says, yeah, the other day, we got into an argument and she said,

I was embarrassing her and I said, oh yeah, well you embarrassed me too, you motherfucker, I'm not. It cannot believe she called me bipolar. And then she said to me, you are a dumbass bitch and she hung up. And Karen goes, Karen goes, wait, you are what, what bitch and she hung up. And Karen goes, Karen goes, wait, so wrong, but I just love that she's like your dumbass bitch

Well, how much can you take of Canvas if you're her mother? Honestly, right? Canvas is a lot It's like you your mother just spent a hundred something thousand dollars on you and already you're calling her on camera and Victimizing yourself. I don't know. You got what you wanted. So now it's all over It would be very hard because not only does your daughter drive you nuts, but every time you speak to your daughter, you're reminded of your own flaws as a parent. Like, I created this monster. This is my doing.

I did this. I did this. She's like Matthew Modine or whatever, who unleashed like the Demi Gorgon onto that little town of Stranger Things. You know, it's like, this is what I did. I did this. Yeah.

It's like when I walk around at Christmas time when I go visit my parents, I'm walking right with that socks and my mom just sees my webtoes. You know, just like every Christmas just crushes her. Like, I did this on the world. I unleashed this. It's like PB Herman in the beginning of Batman Returns. They just want to, it's like, Dorothy's like, why did I not take the chance to put my daughter in a little basket and send her off on a river so that way she could be raised by penguins? So Candice says, this is why I don't know if I want to have kids. Well, you're certainly why I don't

know if I want to have kids. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So I guess we're all learning something from your shit storyline. She doesn't want to maintain the cycle. So now of course, as soon as she said she doesn't want to maintain the cycle. I was like, okay, three, two, one, and yep, dabbing the eye, dabbing the eye. And then I love Katie. Katie's response to all this with the best. She goes, listen, this is what you should do. Just call her up and tell her you're a fucking bitch and then hang up on her.

Yeah, makes it even. And of course Monique jumps in and she's like, oh yeah, this reminds me of my mother-in-law because you know in the South, if you say anything back to them, it's disrespect, you know? And you have to stand up to them. Like, didn't you say last season that you hadn't spoken to your mother-in-law

in over a year? Wasn't she banned from your home? Yeah. What do you, is banned from your home? Yeah. What do you, is that really your advice? It's another woman go back to the hotel and Candace is still in her apron, which I think is somehow like really funny, like she's still in her cooking school apron. I want to also point out that this, I stayed at this hotel with my family.

Remember a few years ago when I went to New Orleans for like a wedding? And I told a story, you someone wants to dig into the Bonus episodes I told this whole crazy story about how like I was I was there for my cousins wedding and then we like the extended Family went back to this hotel and went to like the bar in this hotel and basically we like had this very prolonged awkward

extended family moment with Tiffany from Top Chef. And if you want to hear that story, go dive into the bonus episodes because it was beyond mortifying. It was beyond. Wow. Yeah. Is it more mortifying to Monique just farting everywhere? Yes, it actually is that there's one sober person in all of the mess. I always like that You know, it's like we've got a Lewand this year. Well sober is on a real house was of New York and finally seeing people through

You know sober eyes when they're drunk. That's always a revelation. I mean listen We've all gone a day without drinking. Okay. We know. I, you know, well, I mean, there's certain people that are more fun. I feel like on reality TV when they're drunk, which sounds terrible, but like, you know, Luan obviously follows onto that category, although I still find her endlessly entertaining. I actually think Monique has been really fun this season. I've enjoyed her just sitting back and looking at her castmates, being like, these like these bitches are crazy Yeah, I'm just gonna sit here be pregnant eat food and look at these crazy bitches scream-meater kids Yeah, exactly so they're back at the hotel and Katie and Candace and Jacelle are in the our back in Jacelle suite and

Jacelle is asking I met I asked I met to write down Jacelle's asking Candace for insight into Karen, but I wrote down Jacelle's asking Candace for insight into Candace and I was like I can actually under I would believe that happening like I can imagine Candace starting to talk about herself in the third person being like well let me give you a tour of Candace be like oh worth to wherever. Totally patching girl. Yeah. I want world peace. But unfortunately my mother has to ruin it. I tried to pay for too much sex of grain.

Oh, so let's see. Such as else like, oh, yeah, you know, okay, now that you're up here rock. Give me some insight into Karen. Matt, I just don't understand what happened. I was just trying to be nice and then it went left. Oh, God. And then just I'll, she's in her diary room session. She goes, Karen should be the one apologizing to me. I've never done anything to her. Did I? The producer's like, um, um, she goes, what did I do? The producer goes,

Eric Alliles, oh, and Pete Tegate, oh, yeah, the t-shirt. Oh yeah, nevermind. Next question. Hmm, this is the Grand Dom of commercial breaks. Time to take one. Security. Security. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong.

What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So Candace is basically saying that Jizzelle should come from a place of understanding when talking to Karen because Karen's gone through some You know like she lost her parents and she's been just going through a hard time and as she's saying this we're also seeing Karen getting ready to go to sleep

Servant sort of to demonstrate that Karen's going through a hard time. So she's like an a turban Which is what cracks me up? I don't know why. I just like Karen and a turbine is like, I don't know. It feels like we've been waiting for Karen to be in a turbine for so many years and now it's finally happened. Yeah, her natural state. Yeah. So she's just getting into bed and and then Katie's

like based state sort of switch it and Katie's like, do you guys get the feeling that Ashley is might be pregnant right now, which then opens up a whole conversation about whether or not Ashley really wants to get pregnant. Yeah, Candace says that she doesn't really want to get pregnant because she said she had to stop drinking to get pregnant and now she's drinking so obviously it means that she doesn't want to get pregnant and she's like, um, yeah, in all fairness, like you're allowed to drink.

Yeah. Like, and get pregnant at the same time. I mean, hello, like, are we gonna pretend that drunk girls don't get pregnant all the time? Welcome to my family. Do you want to go down my vodka family tree? Yes, the chief source of pregnancy. Um, so, but face, but the thing is this, though so I actually understand Candace's point, because Candace is the one who had to go to Oz and sit with Ashley while Ashley talked about how she's not drinking

anymore, so that, you know, because she's, and she even, Ashley even had this whole thing at the beginning of the season of, I'm not drinking anymore, and I'm doing yoga, and I'm only eating potatoes three times a month, I'm like seeing like a like a Confucius therapist or something like you know it's like all these things so it's like you say you're doing all this stuff But yet you're totally getting how's every time we hang out Well, I talk about diets every day, but I've gained you know God knows how much weight in the past few years. Okay, so I don't need people coming after me on TV about it Well, so I say Candace is just after me on TV about it. Well, so I say,

Candace is just messy about other shit that she's bringing. And this is like her weak thing to bring. Now, Ashley should just stop talking about not drinking anymore. Yeah. I think this is like the drunkest season that she's had so far on the show. And all she does is talk about not drinking. You know, I think if you want a baby, what you really need to do is get younger sperm, okay? Yeah, your husband's sperm is about to achieve like when a lifetime achievement award from like the you know I'm like it's like from the sperm A-R-P ARP ARP

It's from a a R-P Australians The Australian Chiepter. That's another A at the front. Yeah, no, yeah, I would say let's like focus on better working sperm. Spirm that doesn't look like it's like would rather be sitting on a rock with a banjo, singing waltzing material to, you know. Hey, I just watched the Deadwood movie last night and waltzing material to within it.

Really was it? Yes, what a nice circle we just need in my life. A nice circle jerk. That's me, maybe we will. If you will. A nice circle. If you will. If somebody say a second Jake with cabbos.

Yeah, I'm kind of hating Candace. And part of the reason is because her storyline, but then the other part is her Twitter life. She's just such a monster on Twitter and telling telling someone who criticized her on Twitter, you sound like another paycheck to paycheck roach. I mean, I just can't get behind Candace. No, I can't either, but I I will say I think that she is better than she was last season. I think that she's a little more feisty like she's a least being more I can't get behind her, but

she's she's being more of an active get behind her but she's she's being more of an active member on the show I feel like. Yeah and then she's start she's like well I'm watching you drink and let us not forget her good old husband Michael is out here trying to put his mouth on penises. Oh god god forbid anyone ever makes a joke then again, Michael probably is trying to get penises. But still, get your homophobia out of here, Canvas. Candy ass. I don't know. You know, it's weird.

I didn't read that as homophobic. I know most people probably did. And I'm not going to say it's not homophobic, but it did not strike me as that. To me, it struck me as they have some weird marriage of like a arrangement perhaps, you know, where like, or like there might be some, there might be some lies, you know, where he's really not into her. He would rather just be with a guy, but maybe he's just with Ashley because he's trying to maintain

an illusion of being a straight dude. Of course it could be the other way around that they have a totally fluid relationship etc. Which is totally cool and awesome. But I think to me I read it more like that not like like Michael is like some creepy dude because he likes penis. Well every season it's about that. But then again every season Michael does have things. Yeah, I was like Michael. But every season Michael shows up like on Grindr. It was like with like a like a like a Mark's but basically I have to use yeah, basically I'm confused because I really don't like candy ass, but she's not necessarily wrong either. And it puts me in a really weird place because I just want to

bribe her and her, but she's not necessarily wrong. So what do you do? You just keep watching because that's what Brava's all about putting you in very compromising positions as a human being Okay, well, I know I'll stick to that. I mean have you seen Vanderbump rules? God no kidding. I know the first season. They're like fairly nice to each other. We're like this sex I know exactly exactly So okay, so that was the next morning Katie is like passed out topless in her bed and

Ashley calls up her mom, Sheila, talking about Australians. And she's like, Mom, I got my period. Which is actually, she was bummed about because she's obviously trying to get pregnant. And she tells us that the good news is she's gonna party and when she gets back to Maryland, she's gonna ride Michael like a wildgator

or a crocodile's into his Australian. I was like, oh. She was disgusting sometimes really. Like I don't need to think of Ashley riding Michael. I don't need to think of that. And guess what else I don't need to see? Robin brushing her teeth. Why don't they bother going into Robin's room?

She's just standing there in front of the mirror like brosha brosha brosha brosha and then she kind of looks at the camera like why are you filming me and I'm like you know what? I'm looking at the camera the same way. You know she's like the probably like the only person who gets excited to see the hotel channel. She's like can't wait to get to New Orleans. I'm gonna watch the hotel channel for the first 45 minutes. Really need to know by hotel's amenities. Yeah. What are we're Robics? Who I love this royalty free instrumental song. So then Karen and Monique are talking about babies. They're just having like a really nice discussion about how they're really nice to each other and Monique. So yeah, we respect each other. That's why and Monique is, yeah, we respect each other, that's why. And Monique is gonna have a rainbow party for her baby because a rainbow baby apparently is the baby you have after a miscarriage, which is cute.

I've never heard of that. That's nice. I like that. I never heard of it either, but I think that's a nice concept. Much better than a gender reveal, that's for sure. Yeah. And this conversation, they're being very nice to each other. So again, I'm like, why? I just typed at the end of this why

Also, I felt like every two seconds the producers would just do a close up on pancakes I was like, please stop showing me the pancakes. I'm trying to cut it cut down on my carbs But the more you show me pancakes the more likely I am to run out and get some pancakes because you keep showing me them Dan, but why'd you say pancakes? They had, it was like the most beautiful, luscious, puffy pancakes. They get to showing them closer and closer and closer. It was devastating. You know where else I saw pancakes?

A huge stack of pancakes? On the Deadwood movie! What? I'm telling you! This whole world is going to be a lot! Wow, the correlation between Deadwood and Potomac is amazing. You know what also makes me laugh It makes me laugh that the TV gods have done this to us Which is that tonight is the season finale of Summer House and it's also the finale of Chernobyl and I'm like The fact that those two are both at having like like big episodes tonight I think it's great

And I also wonder which one would like result in more radiation scarring, you know. I know, really. Sure he's out on that one. Finally Kyle proposes then jumps in the pool and dissolves. Yeah. Kyle proposes. Kyle proposes. And like 10 birds fall from the sky.

Yeah. So let's see. So next up everybody's meeting I guess who's late Robert they're gonna they're in the lobby because they're gonna be going to a plantation to go on a tour But it's also not only to go on a tour, but it's also where jacelle's ancestors were slaves So it's gonna be a pretty heavy trip and Candace shows up like heavy trip and Candace shows up like like no pants and I'm not saying that to slut Shammer it literally it literally looks like she has no pants they're like where are your pants it looks like she's just wearing a shirt and as she's like who wears

kuchikad and yeast infection shorts to the plantation I'm like and don't forget that she's also wearing a turban which is like an ongoing theme of this episode apparently yeah turpents in the plantation. Yeah. So they're on the way. And then Robyn's like, yeah, you know, this really a wake up call for us in the present to see what our ancestors dealt with not that long ago, you know, and Ashley asked her if she did a DNA test. And Robyn's like, I sure did. And it turns out, as he's, I'm like, what is this huge news? You know, because she looks kind of mortified.

I'm like, she says, I'm African European with a higher percentage of European than African, which is really surprising. And it turns out she's got like 59%. I think she said. Yeah. And the reason, and I was, I was wondering about that too, but I forgot about all the first days season fighting. And it was with Katie.

Oh, yeah. It was with Katie because Katie is part Jewish and she's by racial and she wanted to get her kids, were her kids getting by Mitzvah? What was that? I actually don't even, there wasn't anything like that. What do you say? Yeah, yeah.

But I don't even remember the context of it, but there was a lot of discussion in season one about colorism and biracial versus not, which I actually thought was what made season one really interesting, one of the aspects of it. And so at that time, we saw a flashback to it, which is that Robin was like, oh, not biracial. And then that's when Katie was like,

you have to get your genealogy checked out because you don't end up looking like, yes, if you're straight out of Africa. And so now Robin was like, yeah, I'm 59 59% European at which point you could see Katie was like yeah I could have told you that I could have told you that but then Robin was then explained like yeah But like I may have like European in my bloodline, but I had two black parents like I grew up in as like a black person in a black Household identified as being black so you know like a black person in a black household identified as being black. So, you know,

Yeah, there was a big colorism, and it made me crazy because I thought it was mean, you know, like it kind of hurt my feelings, swat it. So it was like that. Like I got so upset about it. I was like, what the hell? It was making me so bad. Do you ever deal with, actually for real though,

do you ever deal with that because you're half Lebanese, but like you just look like a like a like a white dude, right? Do you have you ever dealt with that from? Yeah, I can't like my cousins. Yeah, because some of my cousins are full-blooded and some of us aren't and so we're like the half breeds. No, so it's supposed to be as a kid, but um, it's not really something I carry around with me, but like listening to them talk about it really bugged me. Okay, so now let's get to some of these tweets. Do you have any of these tweets pulled up? I forgot to say that.

No, I have some. The only tweet I saw, I saw a tweet where Candice was getting into it with Ashley, where she was like, I can't believe you were basically slut-shaming me for my short shorts when you're always wearing the biggest biggest like, hotastic wardrobe from Charlotte Ruse, which I'm like, that's funny, but at the same time, like, I don't think she was saying you shouldn't wear those shorts in general, but it just felt like an odd wardrobe choice when you're about to go to a very serious location we're going to be looking at, you know, remembering people

who were tortured and murdered and- And also- Yeah, and Ashley was wearing her clothes when she was going out. Those were totally different. They were going out on the town when she was wearing that swimsuit thing. Yeah. So Ashley, so they had a big fight on Twitter. Shocker at Housewives.

So, Shalma Dia is here to explain. Yes. So, Ashley says, tell your husband not to type my name on Twitter and there won't be any problems. And secondly, we're both married to white men, so take your color complex elsewhere and stop worrying about my forehead and being more concerned about that dry head on your head. I love it. I mean, which you can only imagine what came before this tweet.

I mean, this is packed with so much information already. So. I mean, this is true back to so much information already. So then Candace wrote back, um, this is the last time I'm coming down here to your tent. I don't have to ask my white husband for an allowance, nor did I lay on my back to get the lifestyle you so desperately try to hold on to. And yes, my natural all black hair gets dried sometimes. Two cheers for your white daddy wow damn can't just can't just give her a spicy and that's what that's actually the side that I like of her I liked last season when she when she fought with Cheris and and

she Cheris was trying to you know Cheris has got that lazy shade and and Candice was like no you were not allowed to say that and you're not allowed to say that my mom bought my wedding ring even though she basically bought the diamond and I got like the band or like she could be spicy and that and I think I think that she's maybe leaning into that a little bit more these days which is nice. I think she's just a mean vile disgusting human beings like that. Well there's that. It's disgusting. I mean you know she's constantly going after people for money and for race. Well they're all projecting.

They're all projecting their insecurities, which is really all that we can ask for. OK. I'll settle on that. I'll settle out of court. It's all a matter of perspective, right? Yeah. I'll settle out of court on that and not drag this trial out,

you know? Yeah, and I like that Candace is saying that she worked hard for it to be where she is. I'm like, we've been watching an entire season, really a season and a half of you talking about how your mom has been lending you money and now you're like under her thumb. Like you worked hard, you were, you were literally born into it. Okay. And we also, we also saw last week where you said that you, you pay a third, Chris pays the third in your mom pays the third of the rent.

And then we saw you hang up on your mom when she said that you've never paid rent. So what happened to your extensions company? Didn't she have an extensions company last year? Where's that? Candy ass. Candy ass. But anyway, but I appreciate the Twitter feud. Thank you.

Keep it up. We love it. And by way, I mean me, but hopefully you love it too. No, I was infuriated. Well, which I love. So there, I guess that worked that. I feel like I'm just like taking all your emotions and like, like, making you change them 100%. No, it's okay. I'm not changing them. I'm just not that mad yet because I've already been through

this with Potomac. So I'm not like a scarred. Like, no, I go, okay, there she comes. You know, you know, people are saying the season slow, and admittedly it is a little slow, but I just enjoy them so much now that I was happy just to see them be ridiculous all episode long. I'm like in a good place with Potomac. I also think Potomac is sometimes a little bit of a slow starter. I think it takes like two or three or four episodes to sort of get into its groove, and then it usually finds itself.

I think that's, you know, that's what happened last season. No, last season started out with a bane. Last season it started with Karen's tax problems and the, um, yeah, the, uh, press conference and all that. I take it back. See, look, you just did it to me. We're so pliable. Oh, okay. So now we're at the plantation, um, and we meet Jacelle's dad Curtis who seems so warm and lovely And he's greeting them all and and Candace is like wow you're a nice looking man. He's like don't you think I know that? And they're making fun of him because there's they're all saying that that's where Jacelle got his shadiness from because every time they say something He's got like a smart-ass answer Exactly which is pretty funny funny. He's like, so, Jacelle's ancestors, we've got,

from this family ended up coming, mayors, diplomats, doctors, Jacelle. What ever my daughter is. Reality stars. So, yeah, then he like has this really random moment of shade because he's telling a story about a woman on the plantation who owed money and she needed to put up a collateral to repay the debts, whatever.

And he goes, you know about that, Karen. Oh, he said that to Karen. I thought he was saying it to Jazeal. Oh, he said you to Karen. I thought he was saying it to Jacelle. Oh No, he said you know about that Karen and Karen just sort of like did like a curtsy like yes My name has been called yes, I do. I don't know what you're talking about, but I'll do a curtsy because I'm Referring to Roy's dead a raised death which I don't have because we don't have a joint bank account Yes, well in the spirit of being fully transparent which I totally am I did once have because we don't have a joint bank account. Oh, yes, well in the spirit of being fully transparent

Which I totally am I did once have to put my fax machine up as collateral for repaying the pizza man But I got it back So this tour is Extremely enlightening and sad. Yeah, I actually got a little choked up I'm not gonna lie because I was just I just feel like it, I mean, I'm not going to go too much because like, you know, like, who wants to hear what I have to say about slavery. But, um, but I think it's always really actually good to have these, to have moments like this to remind you of just like really how terrible it is.

I think sometimes it gets abstracted. I think it's sometimes it just gets abstracted into like people were for like into something as simple as like people were forced to work for other people and they had no freedom. But I think when you see things like this you see it's not just like that it's like cruelty and torture and death and like like I'll just a lack of consideration for like fellow humans for no good reason and it was just like it's so awful and so terrible and it went on for like fellow humans for no good reason and it was just like it's so awful and so terrible and it went on for like 400 years it's not like it went on for like 20 years it was like 400 that's like generations it's so terrible so I was actually really glad that I thought it

was actually really good that we had this scene because I just think it's so important to just like remind people about this travesty in our history. And if you have to like sneak it in in a reality show or in wherever it is, I think it's just good. So I actually thought it was a really powerful and important sequence. And in traditional bravo, in a traditional bravo move, they're like slavery. This and everyone's choked up and we really,

it's really important to teach our children coming up Like parting in the streets and like bikini bottoms Yeah, I have to applaud bravo for deciding like for like holding back probably like their desire to bring like March Proud during this scene orueprint like or to put like a little like secret lives of pets on the bottom of the screen during this. I was like thank you for having some restraint for once. Yeah no kidding Bravo cheese. So now everybody's gonna put pretend it's Marty Grasges almost to pretend it's Marty Grasges because they're not there at the right time of the year. So she's brought all these costume pieces and stuff. And actually, this is where Ashley puts on her bathing suit as an outfit. She's like,

Jesus. Jesus. So there, she's, she's, she's always got some boas and masks, et cetera. And me, while Karen is back in her room, and she's face timing with Ray, and she's like, oh, Ray, I've pushed myself too much. I'm just drained right now. I don't think I can go out, Ray. I think I just want to stay in and put the laser disc into the flat TV thing. I don't understand these TVs these days. I don't where's the back of them. Oh, and so everybody gets ready and meets up in the lobby. And Ashley, they're all judging each other's outfits of course. And Jacelle has this pink wig on and Ashley's like, you're giving me, what's that movie

with Bruce Phyllis? What is that movie with Bruce Phyllis? The Fifth Element. Bruce a little sustaining right behind her. I am unbarricabalat. This is so really happened before Lupera. Hudsonhaka. No, not that one. By the way, you should also mention, Jiselle had a wonderful entrance into the lobby where she tripped on her heel. That was really satisfying to watch. Yeah, that was super fifth element. Yeah, super, like super.

I actually had never seen fifth element, so I really can't comment on that. That movie's awesome. You should check it out. It's a really good movie. I know. Well, I'll say it wasn't like fifth element. It was like... I'm gonna it wasn't like fifth element. It was It was like I'm gonna say it was like red to it was

It was like I didn't even want to elevate it to Pulp Fiction It was like die hard three Yeah, the stakes are so low is just tripping the terrorists are trying to trip rubber face ladies in the hotel It was like the expendables part four Oh, it's just tripping. The terrorists are trying to trip rubber-faced ladies in the hotel. It was like the expendables, part four. So anyway, so yeah, so they're all in the lobby getting ready, we're like getting ready to go out and Katie and Ashley are there and just all goes on Instagram and she's like, oh, Karen is on Instagram live right now.

Let's go see what she's saying. And so we go on to Instagram live and Karen is like, Hello, South Africa. So good to see you. Great to hear from you. I hear a big O down there. Oh, hello. Hello, Moldova. Good to see you and Moldova.

She's like, yes, well, they tried to come at me for my business. But why would I be telling you the business of my business? Mm, but thenmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm We're waiting for you downstairs and then Karen answers her and she says no you want I'm upstairs. Have you want to see me come up? I love a good upstairs downstairs battle over Instagram So then Chisel of course gets furious about this and she's like this is how you grieve on Instagram live It's probably healthier than grieving with you. Yeah, my God. So she's laying in bed doing social media.

Yes, that is how you take a night off. Yeah, exactly. She's like, if you didn't want to go out with us, you just say you didn't want to, you just want to take in and talk to people on Instagram. Ma, I'm like, just out. It's not like she went out to a different club. She is literally in her bathrobe chilling out and just like

put on her phone. There's a big difference between doing that and like going out in New Orleans. Okay. It's not like she's going to get a shit face to New Orleans. Yeah. And she's also dead inside. I love when Candace was trying to explain to her. Well, you know, she's going through a grieving process and I know that maybe she's making you mad, but some of these things you just have to give her a pass and let her grieve and then she's out goes but she's petty. It's like she's not gonna let her have this as a pass, you know. She's like first You don't tell me how much your perfume costs and then you're talking to someone from South Africa. I'm not here for it. So then yeah, so now they're gonna go out because once again Robyn's late She's just gonna join them out so they go to this place called the spotted cat

Which I went to also and my cousin Shira said that shoot meet me there at 10 o'clock And I got there and I was there for like an hour and Shira never showed up so cousin Shira I am calling you out because I had to stand in that club for an hour alone and That was before I had better command over my personal issues and so I was feeling very awkward about that okay okay everyone now everyone knows my story about this bottom cat and my cousin Shira. It's fascinating and it's actually a lot better than this scene. So, Jizel still won't let it go. They're just doing shots and ask you like, promise you won't tell my husband and Candace goes, I promise, Pinkie swear and then she tells us,

she's like, do you want to be a mom or a drinker? That's also like how you get into her secret club. That's like probably the initiation. I feel like you want to be a mom, you want to be a drinker. All right, you're in. Yeah, it's a special Facebook question to let you into the group Yeah, so I think actually this is an important thing because when they have their fight later on and There you know Ashley is talking about like I'm allowed to drink. I'm allowed to drink I'm like if you're but then then why you making such a big deal when you're taking these shots of like

So like I actually understand the frustration because you send out all you keep saying all these things and Then you and then you reneg on them. I Refuse to be on campus aside about anything. Okay, fuck her. Okay, I accept that. I think that's a totally, totally perfectly fine argument. So then we go back to the hotel and just goes like, come up to my room, my fissure. And they do. And then they're talking about how one of the vases looks like an urn. You know, a urn, a urn, a urn.

So Robyn's like, we haven't drunk this much since Ash's uncle's birthday party. I'm like, bitch, that was last week. Do you remember? She's a hat thing like it was months ago. Like, you guys have been getting housed every week on this show, actually. I know. I actually thought Robin was bringing it up to bring up the Michael penis thing, but she didn't. Yeah.

So then Candace is toast for shots as bitches. Get many. And everyone's like lame lame toast It's like what are you stealing Instagram memes for your toast? booing her and so Ashley goes I'll do it toast to the edges. Yeah Yes, and so then there's like so that another like like throwing beads around and Katie is like Showing her tits for the beads and she's like I've had three kids and I breastfed more portraits And then can't this is like oh are we not talking about me? Okay, hey guys look Here's a photo of me and Chris the day after our wedding

It's like oh We all really care. We all care. Yeah, and then just as like after you consummate it, and someone brings up that Karen said on the bus that Candace told her that after they do it, it smells like burnt rubber. And Monique's like, why are you wearing condoms? Ew! And Candace is like, uh, because I'm fertile, and she everyone's fertile at your age. Oh, sorry Ashley. Sorry. Yeah

And she's like, oh, did Ashley did you check Michael's sperm by the way? And then someone I think it was just L, right? It was like Candace doesn't believe Ashley's trying to get back to Yeah, yeah, it's really fast. Yeah, it's just just the Rose Candace right under the bus. Yeah, she's like well Karen didn't show up to fight with and that's all I've got this season, all right? So let's make the young girls on their paycheck. Yeah, it's just just the Rose Candace right under the bus. Yeah, she's like, well, Karen didn't show up to fight with, and that's all I've got this season, all right? So let's make the young girls on their paycheck. Yeah, exactly. So Ashley's like, you don't believe I'm trying to get pregnant?

And Candace is like, well, who doesn't? Like, who doesn't believe? Like, you, like, who doesn't? I don't know. I'm not even going to try to understand why Candace said. But basically, she's like, I think you're not sure. She goes, this is what I'll's like I think she says she goes This is what I'll say I think you're not sure and then Ashley says you're projecting are you being a little Dorothy on me right now?

And she's like maybe I would but I mean you say you're gonna stop drinking and if you're really trying Would you be drinking and then Katie is leaning back on the couch so bored? She just shrugs and rolls her eyes and starts texting That's hilarious, which is exactly what I did during the scene It is like um, I wish only a tits a second ago and that was fun now you guys are talking about this So I'm a harder for older guys that old to get you pregnant because They have to have little walkers in their DNA, okay? Come on, get some expert. You have a hot chef at Oz. Just go get a sperm and let's get this done.

Yeah, you need to go to a doctor that's gonna say, that's not a spin. This is a spin. Fertility Dundee. So then, Monique, the fun part, Monique is looking at them like they're crazy. She's like, I don't seem crackheads praying in like come on Are you kidding me?

So at this point Candace is now like in a hole right because what she should have said was you have said multiple times That you are not drinking because you want to get pregnant and you're doing whatever you can you're wearing tight socks You're what you're going to yoga you you're eating pomephrons for breakfast because you heard it will help. So why are you drinking? That's what she should have said, but instead Candace is like, well, you know, drinking causes a residual effect.

And I was just like, did you, she's like, do you know this Candace? Did you study any of this? I'm joking, because we know you can't read. Do you have an MD behind your name? A Candace goes, I don't have an MD, but I have an honorary MD, because my mom's a doctor, my dad,

and my grandfather, et cetera. Like, oh. This is a god shut up, Candace. She's like, I played Dr. Mario when I was a kid, so I think I know a little bit about blue pills and red pills and how they should be lined up. No, I mean, from a family of doctors, doesn't make you a kid. So I think I know a little bit about blue pills and red pills and how they should be lined up. No, I mean, from a family of doctors, doesn't make you a doctor.

It just makes you someone with a big house that you don't have to pay for. So go back to doing that. So Katie's like, yeah, I'm out of here to suck. So you guys suck. So she leaves. And then Ashley turns, you know, she turns it on Candace. And she's like, how dare you.

I've missed, I've lost a child. How dare you talk to someone like that who's lost a child? Yeah, because Candace is like, if I wanted to have a baby, I wouldn't be drinking at all. And every time I'm with you, you're drinking an ass. She's like, you're being judgmental. And Candace is like, well, you always have something to say about everyone, which is true,

because Ashley is like the queen of just like weighing in with an opinion, especially considering that a lot of opinions had to do with drinking last season, you know? Yeah, well, that girl did crash into a tree on the way to a smaller tree. So this is actually what she said. She goes, Ashley, you always have something to say in general about everybody generally You have very general comments to say about people okay, and I'm just not down for a generalist okay Yeah, and then they start going at each other to it an intelligible links Which I can't even write down

Talking over each other yeah pretty much it's like asheselligible links, which I can't even write down. Yeah, I was like, talking to each other. Yeah, pretty much. It's like, I just like, so you're the mouthpiece for everyone. It's like, my mouth speaks on whatever it speaks on. Like, how about it speaks for itself? She goes, one, and my eyes see. It just like, maybe your eyes should see for themselves. She goes, and my eyes are sniffing all the bullshit. I was like, that was a perfect segue for you to move on to the nose. I don't know why you said your eyes are sniffing the bullshit. Yeah. how eyes work. Yeah, just like a doctor can this And my elbows all my elbows are leaning on a table of bullshit to oh Really got elbows and my pinky is in a glove and there's a little bit of bullshit in that part of the glove where my pinky is

My cheekbones are running on marathon of bullshit right now. It's not how cheekbones were. Yeah, Candace. I'm like, Doctor Candace empty. So then of course it ends with Candace being like, well, in the back of my mind, I'm holding onto this little salacious piece of information about what her husband likes doing to other male body parts. But I don't want this to turn into a crucified the Derby's Day. So I'll just keep saying it behind her back on TV where she can't defend herself.

Well, but that's what just let it go for an entire season. By the way, that but that's also Ashley's tactic and so Ash is like, I have been fighting to have a family and the fact that you were digging at me shows that you have no consideration for me at all. Which I'm like, that's probably true, but at the same time, like, was I the only one who like picked up on a vibe that actually feels super guilty for the fact that she was drinking and she was saying that she wasn't gonna drink and she keeps on drinking. So she's projecting it all onto Candice right now I mean that's that's what I picked up on Well, I picked up on Karen being upstairs going To Cape Town from Cape Town to Jabba good night everyone good night That brings us to the end of some real house wise of Patoe me

Fun times we um so like first and foremost everyone now that the episode is over go and buy a ticket to Milwaukee because we want to see you there on Friday. No, okay, and then get some merch and then buy tickets to other shows too, okay, but also we'll be back tomorrow to talk below Jack Med and Summer House and we'll be doing some crap. It's on demand and it's just going to be a great old time. Yeah, everybody talk to you later. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts.

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