Watch What Crappens - RHOP: The Sassed and the Furious

Episode Date: September 21, 2021

iTunes: http://bit.ly/ituneswwcVideo Recaps: http://bit.ly/crappensvideoListen: https://watch-what-crappens.simplecast.com*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo* Candiace shoots her music video on this week's Real Housewives of Potomac, and her mother is there to judge every second of it. This week's bonus is a Snap Judgement breakdown of the Great British Baking Show contestants. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cupi from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, I have cramped, Well, hello and welcome to watch what happens. The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeo Rob's, Kai.

Hi, I'm Ronnie. Guess who I'm with. His name is Ben. How been? Hi Ronnie. How are you? Oh, I'm just so well. I just got back from my cooking class slash video shoot. It was wonderful. Oh, good. Well, everybody, welcome to Real Housewives of Potomac Day here on Watch What Happens. Another really good episode. Candace, that's it.

So a couple of things. This is on demand today. So if you guys want this on video, go to Patreon. Sign up for the on demand level. Kai, you'll see us on video. We also did Salt Lake City on demand, and I think we're going to do another on demand this week, just for fun, just throw a little extra in there, okay? To say thank you for everybody who supports us.

Kay, also tonight we are doing our new show slash room on Spotify green room app. It's called take a seat to listen to it. Show up at 7pm Pacific time or 10pm Eastern time on the Spotify Green Room app. Just search our names, Ben Madelker, at Ben Madelker. And my name on that is at take a seat because I had to name myself after the show because that's just how it works. And once you follow us on there, once we start, you will get notifications. We're going to be talking some bravo stuff, some non-bravo stuff. It's not no recap show.

So we just talk, we talk to you guys, you guys are brought up from the audience to give your opinions and stuff. It's really fun. So join us for that. It's free. Okay. Yeah. I'm looking at it right now. I'm looking at, yeah, there you are. Actually, Ronnie, you should know that your name is, your account name is Ronnie Caram. It's that you're like, your name, like your casual name is take a seat on the app. So it's the other way around.

But either way, if you do a search for Ronnie Caram, you're gonna see take a seat. And then you just follow Ronnie in that way. And you will get, once he goes on, you'll get the alert. And everything will be great. Okay. So we're going to do that tonight. But right now it's time for the moment we've all been waiting for guys seeing Candace Dillard in action in her music video. I know we've all been waiting for it, listen, it's not up to me how people spend their money, but I do love to see it spent

and I've been really excited to see how Dorothy's money has been spent. Okay. Yeah, I mean, I think she is a pioneer, right? Cause when you think about some of our most famous videos, especially in the R&B space, we think of backdrops like, I don't know, like Los Angeles, like Venice Beach or Miami or, you know, New York City or Chicago or, you know, so many, so many like bright lights,

big city glamorous backgrounds. And I was like, thank you for being an innovator, Candice Illard, and saying, no, we're going to shoot this in a parking lot in rural Maryland, and you know it, and she killed it, killed it. Yeah. Um, so it just don't on me again for whatever reason that Robyn's tagline is just about being late. So just in case people are wondering what we have to look forward to the rest of the

season with Robin. There you go. There you go. I have to say, Ronnie, I really light the way this episode opened because as you have mentioned many, many times in the Z. I have co-signed. This show has probably the best interstitial music because it's like that. I always forget the name of it, but the genre of music, go go from that region. We're like a lot of.

And this time, I don't know if you notice this Ronnie, but when they opened up the episode They were and then they cut to two ducks going quack quack and I was like wow the integration of the quacks into the music was really It was just it was next level next level the music in this whole episode was popping. It was really really good Um, I might do a video of can I was trying to get enough footage of can this dancing in her video to use the to this music I don't know why that came to my head earlier, but I was like you know what I really need to do can't is dancing to the real house So I was a pitilmic music. I was like good a life literally good a life. So I took an online piano class instead But there it goes. It wasn't my head, because the music is so good.

Have her dance to your piano class. God, my thighs are just stuck to this freaking chair. You know, this is what I do for this show. I stopped using this, hear that, that creaky chair. I stopped using my creaky office chair, so I wouldn't creak the whole show, because I know I'm not a real making people crazy. And so now I'm just on this flat plethora, like dining room chair from Target. And my fat is just, it's going to be, the plethora is going to

grow into my fat. Okay, that's how it feels. My legs are just stuck to this chair at heart. I never heard your creaking chair or at least I don't remember hearing it. And I think that you, we podcasts for, we do so much podcasting. I think you deserve to be in comfort I think everyone can deal with a few little few little squeaks and whatever my thighs yeah no you can't know you cannot have sticky thighs during this oh okay so another so there's that visual everybody you're welcome okay so another thing I really love when shows recast. I love when they did it on facts of life. I love when they did it on be witched. I love a good recast. And especially reality show because it's got to be hard to find someone to play Dorothy. But who is this woman playing Dorothy? This doesn't even

look anything like Dorothy. Who the hell is this person? It's a, you know, there's always a new door. It's like, it's like the Murphy Brown secretary, right? It's always, so it's always someone new every season. It's great. I love it. Did she just get a new face or what? I mean, whatever she did, she looks great still. I actually get the best iteration of her so far. Well, first of all, I actually get the best iteration of her so far.

Well, first of all, she, yeah, she, her hair, I loved what her hair is looking like in this episode. She may have gotten some fillers. I'm not sure I'm really bad at knowing when people have gotten fillers or when they just have something candy in. But she, but she'd looked, I thought she looked great in her, her makeup was, was on point, like I think in the past she's had like makeup done. Yeah, I think in the past we've seen her with like, like anchor lady makeup. So I thought Dorothy was in great place. Yeah, I think in the past we've seen her with like, like anchor lady makeup. So I thought Dorothy was in a great place. Yeah, she's in a great place. She just looks very different to me.

So, you know, it's Dorothy. So she's going through Candace's house just criticizing everything which I love. And she's looking at the buffet and she's like, wow, I'm looking for something different now. And I'll do this all the favor and not do that the whole time. But she's basically like, yeah, I love this buffet, but you went with this one. So this looks old. Do you call that distressed? So it's supposed to look like this. Okay. I thought that

was just your taste in man. Do you need a buffet version of Chris? Is that what you need? Is it? And Candice is busy putting away her Mackenzie child like giant teacuttles that are the size of like, you know, tires. And she's putting those away. And she's saying, yes, that is how it's supposed to look at the, she goes, the distress look is in, which would, I don't think the distress look is in just because everyone around you always seems distressed by your presence. That just means it's around, it's not necessarily in.

But so then Dorothy's in the kitchen and she's like, so does Chris enjoy cooking in here? Okay, it's like, yes, he likes cooking in here. Oh yeah, that's fine, that's fine. We love that. Dorothy's basically just scanning for evidence she can use against Chris at the right moment. Yeah, she's basically criticizing every single thing. She's like, oh, you're going to put Candelabris on the salt and um, so you just sofa. So you like this? This is on purpose.

This wasn't an accident. This sofa. Yeah, and yeah, and and basically Candice is saying that Dorothy's visits, if not more, she visits more now, almost, it seems like. And so now they're in the living room. And there's this enormous mirror, which I don't know if we commented on that or not in the past, but this is a huge mirror, and which is already kind of like tacky and so appropriate for Candace.

Of course, Candace has an enormous mirror. And then she tells us that she's planning, which tells her mom, she's planning to put two huge Candal operas on either side of the mirror. So they're really just like investing in this mirror showpiece and they're just gonna make it even more god-y than it is right now.

And you just know that Dorothy's just like, oh god, bless this child. This terrible, terrible child I brought into this world. Were you triggered by the pillow flat mean? Yes, actually I was. I was because Dorothy was like, she was arranging the pillows on the sofa, which she said was a starter sofa. There was no way that's not a starter sofa. In defensive Canada, that sofa was many thousands of dollars as not a starter. So she's taking the pillows and she's, she's like trying to fluff them

and she just starts patting them on the front and I was like, what have we learned from these Serena? What have we learned about how to do a pillow, Ronnie? What have we learned? Chop it, you got a chop it. Chop on top, even Candace said so. She's like, mom, you don't do it like that. She's like, no, no, I'm just showing you what it could be. You know, so then we go over to Grace and Jacelle learning to drive. Grace did get her learners permit, but now she actually has to learn how to drive,

which I forgot that that's how it worked. You know, it's funny because early in the season, I was rooting for Grace to get that learners permit. And now I take it all back. I don't think she should be out on the roads. I think this is not a good idea. We have seen the we've seen the parent teaching the kid how to drive, seen on Bravo many times. It's the typical, you know, silly music plays. It's a ha ha ha thing and freaking out. This was the first time

where it really felt like a danger to everyone involved. And this was this was a very dangerous scene to be shot. This is the first time we've almost seen camera men get manslaughtered for sure. This was literally like watching tunes as the driving cat learning how to drive. The car was up on the curb, it was like over the, I mean, I don't know why they didn't have grace just appear in the music video at the end. Just come cringing in with that Gucci mini and just like crashing to everything. And it's that Gucci Fiat, which I just wanna see get wrecked, you know, because I still have my trauma over my Fiat,

which had a rattling glove compartment that I could never figure out, okay? So every time I see that stupid Gucci Fiat, I'm like, oh rattling damn rattling glove compartment. Like it makes me mad every single time. So just like, I don't care if she crashes it, it's Jamal's, he just left it behind. Which, yeah.

What did Jamal get? Didn't Jamal get something? Didn't he get one of her cars? Ah, I don't know. I don't remember what he got, but I just know he has turbo taste and fiat. And I know some of you guys have the Gucci fiat because the first time we complained about it,

people were like, hey, I have one of those and I say, God bless. And I do not retract my statements. Whatever makes you happy is fine. I'm just talking about what makes me happy and it's not the Gucci Fiat. Yeah, so then we go over to Mia's house and one of the kids has to do with school or whatever

and she tells us, us when I first met Gordon and I'm 14, so I'm taking more of a leaner and she had a role and he's home with the kids. Yeah, so she facetimes her mom as one in a leadership role does and she's just talking to Veronica and she's like, well, I'm going to be green to have you miss a little bit more with the kids. So do you want to come and get ice cream with them? And she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then they have some small talk and they start talking about someone named Rashida who I'm assuming is Mia's sister because she talks about how she has a younger sister and brother and an older sibling. And the mom lives with the sister and they have a co-dependent relationship and I think Mia feels she says that makes me feel bad I guess Mia probably feels a little left out right? Well yeah she feels left out and she feels gel that her sister is sucking up all the free child's care you know because you get grandma. That's right. What's grandma doing? She's living in care of fucking Rashida's kids. And she's like, well, and you know that me that resent it, because she's like,

my sister has kids and doesn't have a husband or anyone. So mom takes care of her. So she kind of like husband, James, her. And then, yeah, she's jealous of the free child care, which she is. I get, but you're rich, you know? Yeah. So then we, and then,, she's jealous of the Free Childs Care, which she is. I get, but you're rich, you know? Yeah. So then we, and then so she finished talks

with her, talking with her mom, but then the casino continues. At this point, we have to imagine that the producers are starving because for some reason we keep having lengthy cutaways to the eggs that we have made. Did you notice that? Yes.

It was like, it wasn't just like, it was like, we were just, they would be talking and we'd just be looking at eggs. She'd be like, well, I just had to talk with my mom and it's always so hard. And I'm like, is this the egg talking? Why am I looking at a pile of scrambled eggs right now? Yeah, whenever they show stuff like that on Bravo,

I stare at it. Like, I'm like, what are we supposed to see right now? Really, all I learned from this scene is that Mia cooks very hard eggs. Very, very hard eggs. Very into well done eggs. She makes a lot of eggs actually. I feel like we see your make eggs quite a bit.

But so she starts talking up to Gordon about Chris being a husband, or because she's gonna, the music video shoot is the next day and everything. And she goes, imagine if I had just opened the massage envy spot, and I was like trying to have you like so involved because it was new to me and I was running it down because we were down to my massage envy

and then like I realized very quickly you need to get the hell away from anything because like we can't have two CEOs. There's only one person that can go into a shop at a time and move pamphlets to the center of the table. All right. If I move the pamphlets to the left and you move them to the right, who does that serve? So then we see a clip of her work with Gordon and when the spa was being built and she tells somebody she goes, oh my God, you brought the architecture. She met the architects. They just love what they got.

The concept of scenes. It originally was just a bunch of building supplies gathered together. But finally, someone decided, interest the the concepts of architecture to turn the architect. So Mia is like, well, it's going to

mean we're having a husband journey. Okay. That carries into that bedroom. And we all know when the bedroom is floundering, your relationship is plundering. The book. Flundering. My favorite character in

Little and Remade was Flunder. Yeah, your relationship starts robbing sinking shafts. Well, did she say plunder or flunder? Either way, it's wrong, but I thought she said flunder. Oh, no, no. Did she say plunder? I don't know.

Your marriage is going to plunder. I don't know. I wrote flunders. So, um, Mia, basically, she's like, yeah, I was telling your girl, like, if you continue down this road, you're going to be a one hit wonder and your album is going to flop. Okay. Well, I have some bad news for Mia. I think that might be an inevitability anyway So then we get Karen

Sniffing a candle because she's just gotten her candle samples and so she's talking to Robin the publicist It's like robbing She ought me yes. Yes, Robin. Mmm. Mmm. It's yummy. Yes, yes, Robin. It has three weeks. Mmm. Yes, this is great news. Mmm. Let me see three, three, three weeks in case one goes wrong because you got two nostrils. You always have to have one week per nostril to smell them all. Mmm. Yes, yes, yes, delicious. Mmm. well, now, Lidam has his own candle. Mmm, now everyone knows I do discovery. I do products, developments, I do Ray.

Ooh, different conversation. So it's been in the works for a year and a half. Mmm, I know Wendy has a very nice candle, but there's no comparison. My candle has three wicks, and her candle has one wick. It's for smaller room like a powder room what I'm trying to say is that three week candles are for ballrooms one week candles are for poop rooms rooms where

you poop stomach emptying chambers if you will hmm now I know what you're saying if you wanted to have cover as much area as one of my candles you just have to buy three of Wendy's candles, which I guess would give her more money, but, you know, three weeks. Three weeks, great decision by me. Oh, Wendy is an intelligent, beautiful, educated woman, and I'm sure she's going to deliver a huge load, preferably in a room that one of our wicks is in, so she can enjoy her success. I just, I love that Karen is really like doubling down on the three-week innovation.

Like I thought it was just like a passing thing in like an interview a few weeks ago, but she's really like three weeks, three weeks, does the trick. And acting like she didn't totally steal this candle idea right off of Wendy and that she's really been developing this like for 10 years like it's the new Tesla. Well, she's literally acting like she discovered, you know, nuclear fusion or something like

that, like this will innovate all of sense across the entire world three weeks, three. It's literally like, well, it's something about Mary, the crazy guy who's like, you know, seven minute abs and then Ben still makes a joke like, well, about six abs, six minutes. Just, no, you can't do six minutes. It's like carrying with three wicks. Six weeks of separation. You are three weeks away from Kevin Bacon. So now we cut to Wendy with her candle.

And, um, uh, Eddie, uh And she's in her office and she has, I did come in and she's like, all like in it, she has her glasses on because she's gonna be very professional right now. And she says, you know, I know that we talked about my home essential line and I have been thinking about the business plan. I put together and I want to present it to you now.

So this is. And now Wendy, poor Wendy only has a single wick, but she is sure to get a shot of her holding her single wick with her degree above her head. So let's not get it twisted, okay? Wendy's no done here. So yeah, she gives him his pitch and she tells us she's worked really hard

on her business plan, which basically meant Google, right? So she's like, I've been doing some thinking around Oyeh Home Essentials. I want to break down some twins and themes and it's like cut like an hour is passed. Austin is encompassing in hours past, not just sense, but anterior lines of home, ulterior lines of home decorations. Does that make sense? Yeah, and that is just like an hour long page for a damn candle, okay? And what's an ulterior line of home decoration?

Yeah, I don't think you have to like teach the concept of why you need to do a candle. I mean, people buy candles, everyone buys candles, everyone makes candles. So, uh, Eddie's just like, or... So your shit doesn't stink. Okay. There it is. Candles because you don't clean your house and candles. Why change your sheets before guests come over? A lot of fucking candle. There you go. There's your business model. You're welcome. It's free. So I now give you the floor. Feel free to ask any questions. You guys, well, it sounds like you have your vision done. But what do you plan to sell these candles for? She's like, that is a great question I don't have an answer.

He's like, okay, and how much they cost. Let me get back to you. Do you know what they look like? I'm not sure. Do you know how many wicks they have? No, are they made of wax? Perhaps, let me get back to you. It's like, do you know what a candle is when do you?

What is going on? I know what a candle is. When the lights go out, you get it and you push the button and the light comes on that is the flashlight Of course, I know what a candle is they have to have about a five of them at the video shoot those are cars. They don't even look like candles So then we go to Ashley So Ashley's going to visit uncle lump and her mom and the whole family and the cousin that hates her got Basically, yes, she has a girl cousin. I forgot her name, but she just looks at Ashley like

Every time they cut her she's just going like this Always shaking your head and the reason why is she knows this girl cousins like oh god Ashley's coming over. Let's see what's either something's wrong with her But or something's wrong with her vagina and turn up Ash is like well guys guess what I've got a prolapse uterus It's like I've got a bubble in my vagina. It's just like fucking Ashley must be because I know they're just trying to eat breakfast Right, they've got this big breakfast spread. They're all about to put an egg in her mouth and Ash is like my uterus is prolapse. You can see my insides. They're like, thanks.

Thanks, I'll, I think I'll wait to dive into this lasagna now. And lump, of course, is like, so how's the new nanny, Michael fucking yet? What's going on with the new nanny? She's like, well, you know, I don't really thought I could have an attractive nanny because that's a temptation for Michael, but turns out she's a saving grace. My perspective has really changed. And they're all looking at her like, you know what you just said, right? You realize how you're totally modifying all of your behavior because you can't control his own, right?

So yeah, she was like, well, you know, since we were great in his mind that there are consequences You know and lump says well, you know, whatever happens in the dark comes to life. They're basically saying like Well, he better not treat again, but we all know if he does it's that's gonna come out very very easily because he's sloppy yes So then she's like, you know, he's 61 but he doesn't want to do real estate forever But he doesn't want to retire real estate forever, but he doesn't want to retire. So we're going to be movie makers. They're like, and they all, everybody tell their head is the same time.

Every single one like, really? Movie makers in suburban Maryland. Okay. Yeah. So, love. I'm like, yeah, that movie making isn't even a cousin to real estate You know, I mean I remember when our kids were small I couldn't even think of anything else because financially I just had to keep building and she's like we're rich

So like do you think I'm married let's an uncle up if it was up to personalities I would marry man just like you okay. I didn't I married an old old raisin Okay, lots of money, so don't worry about that, buddy. Yeah, and she's like, yeah, he's financially pretty secure and he's like pretty established in his career. And you know what, we're gonna do it together. And you know, he says, like, if you wanna star on a movie, everyone's like, oh gosh.

Like, it's been, we already don't believe your movie's gonna be successful. And now having you as the star of it, we really are not sure this is a smart thing to do. Yeah, I'll ask you. I wonder if her the video she put out today was professionally produced by her new company. Can she put out that music video today? It was, uh, it was just like a weird, I only saw a snippet of it, right? Was there, did you see more than the snippet that our friends sent to us? No, I just saw that. It was like her lip syncing some song, but it looked like a real music video.

There were dancing stuff. Well, it was- Well, it was a good dancing. It was like actually dancing to some strange rap, and she's dancing really fast, but then it keeps cutting to Michael at the bar in slow-mo. Look at him. It's like, yeah, he's like the handsome guy checking her out while she's dancing. He's that pro-lapse vagina over there. I can see her insides wrap in it the club. Who's that? What is this like romantic interlude? I don't know, but if anybody hasn't seen it, go watch it

on Twitter and just read the comments. It's worth it for the comments. All the comments are like, for the comments. All the comments are like, what? Why? My favorite is why though. So then, oh, go ahead. Now as you'll say, and then we see, once again, they tried out the footage of her and Michael arguing at odds a few years ago

because she's talking, you know, they're talking about like, you know, going back into business with Michael, but she says, you know, now that I've had a lot of time to let that simmer, you know, it doesn't seem that super far-fetched to get into the movie business, which I don't understand that logic at all. And she goes, you know, now that I've had a lot of time to let that simmer, you know, it doesn't seem that super far-fetched to get into the movie business, which I don't understand that logic at all. And she goes, you know, there are a few cons. I'm like, there are literal cons like your husband is conning someone to give them money for this movie business. But I don't understand how her experience with Oz has taught her anything about how to go into business with him.

I feel like it's anything it should have taught her to just stay far, far away. Yeah. So then we go over to Robin. I'm going to rent a warehouse with one. So they're checking out this warehouse space and the lady who's showing it Jessica's like, hi, I'm Jessica. Welcome. I'm like, hi, I'm Robin.

And this is my ex-husband slash fiance. I know it's confusing. The lady's I. Okay, so I'll show you the warehouses. So welcome to roll up. I don't care. I don't even know you guys, but I'm already bored by the storyline. So yes, I'm looking at some times.

Juan's just angry because he thought to be through the rollups there It's just called rollup. So She's Robin is taking advice from her life coach and she's crossing off things off her to-do list like getting more space for her her embellish brand and she has all these orders and everything and they're looking at these rooms and And spending a lot of money and they're also overbudged on the house they're building. And so basically Robin tells Juan, like, you know, sometimes when you're coaching me,

I got to want you to motivate me, but I also want you to drop the whistle because you do it and it makes me feel bad because you tell me that's not attractive. And he's like, okay, and then they had. But I like it at the beginning of this. They're trying to have this really deep scene. She's like, I'm worried because I look at all my success

and I think I just don't want it to come crashing down and you just hear, it's like some lady in the loading doc checking out her own package and they just stare at her like, we'm sure we know the lady is rooting my scene. Well, by the way, Juan's first reaction to her is to say, well, you should have had a baby, a baby girl, because then you'd be like softer or something like that. I was a really weird response. Well, they made it look weird because in the coming up on Potomac, he's like, you should

have had a baby girl. And it's like, gone, gone don't, don't, what did he mean? But then in this scene, he's like, you should have had a baby girl. And she's like, why? Because then you would have learned to be softer. And he's like, yeah, I guess with the boys, he has to be harder. So he hasn't learned how to, you know, you haven't learned. Coach, a girl softer side of one.

All right. A coach, a girl. Yeah. It's time for girl. It's after side of one. Alright, I coach a girl. Yeah. It's time for commercial. It's celebrity beef. You never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud. From the build up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It's no-bought into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this esteemed jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully

crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wonder Yeah. Time for a crap and commercial. So now we go to speaking of coaching girls, we're going to Candace at Dance for Hercule. And she's rehearsing for the Drive Back music video, which will be shot later this episode. And everyone's going to be fast and furious chic because since the song is called Drive Back because she always drives back,

she's gonna have a car theme to the video because cars drive and that's how that works, you know? So, it's funny because she is also calling it drive but then she's mad that her husband plays golf all the time which also has a move, you know, your drive, your driver, whatever. So, you know, the small thing is a mess. So she comes in and she hasn't really learned her choreography yet.

And all the other dancers give her that really sweet, like, oh, we're being nice to the person who's paying for this. But then they are also giving her that, like, you know, box step side eye where you're like, you can't follow the steps and we're just walking. So yeah, she's like, I don't know how to dance basically. And so Candice says, you know, because I'm not assigned artist yet, I'm still putting the bill and I'm spending over $10,000 shoot of video. And I want, you know, the label to know that I could be taken seriously as an artist, which is why I've decided to film this video in a parking lot with Karen Euger.

I want to be taken seriously. Yeah. Um, I don't think it's that cheap either. How can you shoot something like that for $10,000? I don't believe it. Unless she's got everybody working for free, which maybe she... I think the operative word here is parking lot. In the woods. That's true. free, which maybe she, I think the the operative word here is parking lot.

What's that's true? It's a lot, it's a lot cheaper than South Beach. So then she calls Chris and he's like, how's the dancing I'm working? It's like, um, the location, that secured right? Because we need to have at least six cars. That's done right? He's like, listen, I took care of it. All right, Jesus. I've got cooking classes Listen, there are seven people who need to see how to make tuna salad. Okay, and I'm doing that until six tonight

So just relax. So Candace says I am completely Devastated that Chris is gonna miss the drive-back video. Okay, like, I just don't wanna give my mom any fodder. D'Art, you know, D'Art, he just has this list. Like, do you lay, do you lay, I got it all, okay? I got all the fodder. And he's like, listen, I can't stress enough you have to be on time, all right? Cause you only get one take and the sun is gonna go down, okay?

This is very difficult, which is why I scheduled to shoot at sunset, okay? I cannot fucking face that out. Are they fucking Terence Malik? Why are they shooting at the magic hour for this video? What is going on? This is not like days of glory, whatever it was called. I mean, like just, I feel like here's how they also save money

because they did not have to do a whole lighting rig for a night shoot. That's what I say. That's where they save money. That's why it doesn't want the lights to go. That's something. Doing the daytime. Doing the daytime with a slap of filter on that for Christ's sake. So, um, jeez. Shoulda day to night. Yeah, she's like, well, I don't like you talking to me crazy.

And he's like, you think, I don't think you realize who I am when you talk to me. You know, I'm your manager. She's, you work for me. And he he's like, oh really? Well, if I say I have something under control, then you should be okay. Have I fucked up? Yeah. Have I left bombs drop? Have I burnt some sand? Okay, did burn some salmon right now. I told you not to put the salmon in until I was ready. Cool. Damn it. I can't do it. Damn it. Now I've got to start the duck case to the end of the video all over again. So that was time to go to the music video shoes. The day of the shoe and Mia arrives first.

And it's a parking lot, it looks like it's like a parking lot for a park, right? Like there's like a rec center to the side. And there's a literal tractor, it's like a Tonka truck, it's like a tractor that's just like mowing the side. It's like the least, truck. It's like a tractor that just like mowing the side. It's like the least the least music video chic location they could have found. I know they just did they just finished

doing Karen's welcome to Surrey video on that tractor. The set for everything during COVID. So then the director shows up and Mia shows up and she's like, the director shows up and Mia shows up and she's like, Where is going on? I'm confused. So we get that Mia is going to be the one in this episode that's like, can't this is so unprofessional? Where aren't the brochures and who's going to put them in the middle of a table? Yeah, that's, she's like, there's no one in church right now. And so people start, Wendy shows up and Wendy's like, uh, what's going charge right now. And so people start, Wendy shows up, and Wendy's like, what's going on?

And then Jacelle arrives in her version of Fast and Furious Sheik, which is basically to have a big, you know, mirror advisor over her eyes, which is like a weird like, daft punk-ish kind of thing. I don't know, I think for Jacelle, it was a pretty strong effort. No, it looks like a sunrise or this. I say four.

Jacelle pulled it was a pretty strong effort. No, it looks like a sunrise or that she did. I say for Jazelle, hold down over her head. So then basically it's everybody arriving and when he's like, where is Candace and she's not even there yet or her husband, and it goes for standing around a parking lot. I mean, not even a new parking lot. Yeah. I think she has a point. I think she has a point. I think she has a point. It wasn't like nice asphalt that would look nice.

I mean, it's good on camera. It was like old cracked asphalt. So Dorothy shows up and me and me it's Dorothy for the first time. And she's like, oh my god, you look great. How old are you? And Wendy's like, no, no, no, no, no, we're not going to, like we don't need to know how old you are. You look 20 and she's like, my, no, no, no, no, we're not like we don't we don't need to know how old you are

You look 20 and she's like my mom if you said that to my mom she wouldn't say don't worry about how old I am worry about how old you look And me it's like oh my god are you not proud of Candice? I mean look at her and not proud of Candace. I mean, look at her. And it's like, it wasn't the worst. It's the first thing. And so now Candace arrives and she's like, it's all coming together. We just finished our autopodd shop because remember the song's called Drive Back. So there's autopodd shop. By the way, spoiler alert about the video. I watched the video. We might talk about it on on take a seat tonight. There is no scene

in the video of her driving back to this guy. I just want to point that out for all this car talk. There's no scene of her actually driving to him. I think there's a scene where the two of them are driving in a car together, like a flashback, but she is a lot of, we'll talk about, we'll talk about, I have a lot to say. The creative vision was clearly not totally fulfilled. Oh, so everybody's basically there and the directors like we got to go before the sun goes down, all right? So we just got to find out where the cars are. Check, there's no cars. That is exactly why I needed Chris here. There's no cars here. Can we do anything without the cars? What are we going to do without the cars? What are we gonna do without the cars?

What are they gonna do without the Hyundai Alontera? That was scheduled to show up. What about the Kia? The Nissan's. They have so many Toyota Corolla's. They have the most beautiful Toyota Corolla ready to go. Not even here. Yeah, and she's like, they're literally the only prop.

We're not gonna dance with cameras. I was told I was getting luxury. So she's trying to get Chris, but Chris is explaining why you wash your hands after you cut a hollow pain, you know, to someone in Ohio, so he's not answering. And so she's freaking out.

And meanwhile Robyn's like, is this where the video's taking place in the parking lot? I mean, roll-up looks better than this place. And just so it's like, so all we needed was a parking lot. I mean, if all we needed was that, there were several parking lots back that way. She's basically like, why would we drive all the way out here for a parking lot?

And Karen drives up. And she's like, Auntie Triple Wick has arrived. Oh, and, and, and, can't just like, wait, is that one of our cars? And you just see the tractor just going around for a second lap around the side of the parking lot. So Canvas is practicing with her dancers

and Mia goes over and starts shit with the mom. She's like, so is Chris coming, which is like, well, I don't know what's going on with that. I mean, he was at the house when I was there. I mean, I love Chris, but she's like, Karen's like, come on now. Come on now. Come on now.

I'm not listening to this. I will not listen to you. You're a bad girl. Mm-hmm. Don't tell me. Don't tell. You know, unfortunately, I didn't want to hear any of this, but her mother is like a three-week candle

unavoidable So, um, yeah, it's then the short there's a short guy who I don't know the director or the producer or whatever But he he shows up he walks up and he tells Candace Don't be upset but the cars aren't coming and can't just like why I don't know But we have to improv we have to make it work so so now Everything is in disarray. I for sure, it's not the cars we're going to show up. So I actually, a little surprise. Well, one car, I thought there was one car, right? There was like, I saw that. I was like, why are they making it look like the cars didn't show up,

but we saw that race car. So maybe it was, there was one race car, yeah, which also did not thematically make sense in the video, but it's fine, you know. Yeah, because they were saying that they were going to race them like fast in the furious, but fast in the furious wasn't actual race cars, wasn't it? Doesn't it just like fast looks or just annoying? You're just like annoying muscle cars. Yeah. Here's what the fast in the furious is.

You go into 170 highway and Los Angeles and congratulations. You've now seen, you know, fast of the viewers one through 10 on that highway I have only seen the billboards over the years in LA, but I've never seen the Actual movie because there's just so many of those and I was like, but I haven't seen the first one Like I have to be a completionist like you really have to get the fast and the furious Lord First one was good. I like the first one second one didn't't really love. And then I saw one that went up with them dragging a safe through Brazil. I think that was F5 or something.

And I haven't seen one since, but you know, it's a very multi-layered franchise, Ronnie. And apparently, so Cameron is talking to Dorothy. And she's like, well, you know, he's a new husband. Getting my moment, you know, poor Chris, he's trying to do it all. And she's like, well, I just don't think that's a good idea for a husband to be a manager.

And he goes, uh, uh, now I try and there. And I said, honey, I do not need you to be my manager. I need you to be my husband who buys me businesses that I can pretend to be manager of. I don't know. Yeah, pretty much. And Wendy, of course, Wendy is getting mad because she feels like Mia starting shit with Dorothy And Wendy feels like like I don't mess with people's families, right? And so then Karen tells us

Dorothy Candace and I are just gonna like getting on speaking terms and you're gonna give me all this animation Don't give the ambassador to Surrey County too much information because it might show up in a tourism video give the ambassador to Surrey County too much information because it might show up in a tourism video. Welcome to Surrey where Candace is not married to a loser because she lives in a different town. Visit Surrey. So they start to improvise. They start using some of the women's cars because the women all have luxury cars and Ascala has like a nice fringed rover and things like that. So she just can't just like really doesn't want people to like talk shit about Chris, right? So she's just trying to like,

she's surprisingly not having as much of a tantrum as I really thought she would. I thought she was gonna be off the charts and she actually sort of kept it together. And the meantime, Mia's still talking to Dorothy and she's like, I am a question. Is Chris getting paid as a manager and Dorothy's like, I am a question. He is Chris getting paid as a manager. And Dorothy's like, well, I think that's one of the issues. I mean, I, he's not

officially getting paid. And while they're talking about this, the other women are just talking, a scholar is like telling Jazeel and Robin that messy Mia is trying to start stuff up with with I want to say, yeah, calling Wendy. I have this really funny part where Mia's like, they hear Mia asking these questions and they both just split, like literally split and run over to Robin and just sell the tattletail. Um, so a scholar's like, messy Mia's here. She's asking if Chris is on the payroll and just like, well, is he? Yeah.

Yeah, I was wondering that question too, but Mia, you just met this lady for growing out loud. Just I was like, well, I am not mad. I mean, I want, like out, Mia, go get those questions. I want to know the answers. Yeah. And so then when he's like, I don't think that Mia has met.

Wether tap, whether, whether, whether, whether tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap top top top Candace so I would say twid lightly Would be my advice So then when the I Wendy goes runs right up to Candace and Tatl tails on Mia fucking Wendy. Yeah And they all see her and just all in robin are like come on Wendy So I think and Candace is like well because yeah Wendy tells Candace and Candace is like, well, because yeah, Wendy tells Candace. And Candace is like, she's saying that.

She's like, I mean, just because your husband got you off the curb and is paying a salary, you're a salary to be a trophy wife with a bubble lips and big feet, does not mean you can come up in my business. I do not have time for this. Good night. Good night.

So, they're borrowing Karah still. And Mia goes up to Karen and she's like, what's basically Karen offers for Mazorati. She's like, listen, I don't want to, I would rather be by the Mazorati than a single wit car. Can we just pull this one out, pull it out? So, um, Candace is still stressing about Chris, and so mom is talking to Karen again, and she's like, well, I didn't expect him to quit his job. The second thing I married, Candace. And Karen's like, oh,'t expect him to quit his job the second they got married Candies. And Karen's like oh come here come here so he quit his job and she's like well yeah the restaurant went under so you know now he's not working. Yeah and Karen's like oh this

is a video shoot girl get out of my face with this oh pass she starts seeing pass me by gentle savior. Karen's acting like she doesn't want to just like soak up all this gossip. She is loving all of this. Yeah. And then they see the love interest Rob Gordon and everyone's like, oh my god, he's so cute. And then Chris starts marching across the street. And they're like, don't dress like a chef. They're like, oh my God, it's Chris. And when he goes, he still has the apron. Like, wow, the guy from craft services looks pissed off. Did someone did someone steal his turnos? So, uh, so Chris comes, come up into the apron. Dun dun dun, part, right? It's a commercial.

It's like Chris is coming across the street. So then we got to commercial and we get Alexis commercial. Did you happen to catch this? No, I loved this. So we get Alexis commercial that is Candace. It's Candace's video. It's this Lexus commercial with all these people dancing in a parking lot and in empty parking lot. And this one has no cars and they're just dancing really well and the song's really good And I was like this is so shady of them to put this commercial and Candace's sad low-brant community theater We need to be dancing in front of someone's Range Rover commercial like this just like totally dragged Candace across the board the commercial

Like this is how you do a suburban parking lot. Yes, this is how you do with no cars, okay. So we come back and Chris is all angry and can't just say how she doesn't need that energy. And so he goes up to the short guy and the guy is basically like, well, from what I hear they didn't get the message about the cars being on time, which is basically him saying, like, you didn't tell them

that the cars have to be here at this time. And Chris, like, I talked to them literally at 12 o'clock this afternoon. Noon, what the fuck? It's like, oh, you were talking to Costco, weren't you? You were placing an order and Costco was very confused. And Canvas is like, he is being an asshole and I do not need this energy right now.

And he's like, I'm just gonna piss you off if I go over there. So I'm gonna stay over here in my recipe, obsessed chef uniform. So then Robyn's like, oh, doesn't he want to take that apron off? And Dorothy goes, well, he wasn't home cooking, supposedly making money.

And Robyn's like, well, you think he's getting comfortable? And Dorothy goes, well, he does some side gags, something unimportant. I mean, that's a big old house, but I'm not saying anything more about that. Basically implying that Chris isn't making the money to pay for that house. So Robbins like, is Dottie saying she's still paying

for the house? I mean, is Dottie still paying off the mortgage? Oh God, please. Now, Robin's shade is funny, except the one thing is, I don't know if I want to hear it from Robin because she's rolling her eyes at the fact that this is still going on when she and Juan's storyline has been going on for seven years.

So I'm not sure if I want to hear it from Robin. Yeah, so, and also the getting a house above your means Right, that's true, too But it's it's anti-cantus. I'm like, ha ha you go wrong. It's still funny It's funny. Oh, so then the moms all fake with Chris because all of a sudden done everything worked out fine, right? So the moms like Chris you okay? You need a hug and he's like I'm fine, I'm just fine. And she's like, did you bring food?

And he goes, no, I didn't bring food. And she's like, Chris, you are the chef and you didn't bring us food. So you can't even do that right. And now it's time for the woman to shoot their part in the music video, which is that they all have to stand in some strange receiving line.

And then Candice comes up and hugs each one of them. I'm like, I did understand what this had to do or what this had to do with this idea of like This song is supposed to be that even though like you should leave this guy You just drive back to them it's like and this will be illustrated by me hugging Karen Euger and Jacelle Because they have it set up where she's like now on a parking lot And she's seen the love interest And he like winks at her and so she goes to hug all her friends who are like, oh my god, I'm a wink at you Hey, there's a hot guy winging at you go hug Karen you there

It's like that would be my instinct So yeah, they do their weird little dance thing and just I'll God bless her heart dances like she dresses And that's a wrap everybody and then there's clown music playing while Candace is wrapped in plastic So she can maintain maintain her looks Yes, and so then Although that plastic jacket does appear in the music video too, so So then Chris after the breaks her Chris goes up to Canada and he goes, he's like, hey, I got a message that there are no cars, but clue their cars here.

So I came in all hot, like there's no cars, but there's cars here. So it's like, in a weird way, he's trying to sort of say, like, why did you, why were you so mad at me because you figured out cars? But it's like, she should be mad because you're supposed to have the sports cars you're not Karen Huger's Maserati. Yeah, and she climbs him, like she climbs up on him and she's like, I'll kill you later.

Right now we're pretending we're in love so my mom doesn't get a point, you know? Yeah. So then Mia's just like giving kind of dirty looks around and then just so, just so, Lean's over to Dorothy and she goes, Well, I did say that Chris was riding her cocktails and she said that you were the one who said that.

And Dorothy's like, thank you, Jiselle. Thank you, you get it. So then Chris keeps saying it's like, you good? Because I was coming in hot. I was coming in hot, you know, in Candace, I just want to revel in the moment hot, you know? And Candace is like, I just wanna rebel, I revel in the moment. And you know, Chris fucked up.

And you know, I don't know moving forward if like I can have him as my husband or. Yeah. And the mom's like, it went great, Chris, really well. And then she goes, sometimes things don't always fall into place, Chris. But you still make it work. You've got mom power to help keep it going and he's like like hard blank card blank yeah and that was the end of the episode that was it

another fun week glad that we finally got to see that video I was just dying to see that yeah it was I really enjoyed seeing that that scene and I'm just dying to see that. Yeah, it was, I really enjoyed seeing that, that scene. And I'm excited for you to watch the, the actual video video and see how it all comes together. Oh yeah, yeah. Well, everybody, thanks so much for being here. We'll see you tonight at Take a seat over on Spotify Green Room. Cause I'm up free. We'll be there at 7pm Pacific, 10pm Eastern. Guy. Bye everyone.

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