Watch What Crappens - RHOP: When Zen, Zen Wen?

Episode Date: July 27, 2021

The Real Housewives of Potomac pamper pregnant Ashley at a spa, but will Zen Wen tick tock them into a state of misery before the massages are done? Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. But when people want to turn around, kids will have to spend their so much time back in. Well, hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on He Old Broms. Happy New Week, everybody! It's me, Ronnie, Ronnie Carram.

And over there is the cute, talented, wonderful handsome, Dan Wilkwaff, Ben Mandelker, hi Ben. Hi Ronnie, how's it going? Good, how's it going over there with you? It's going, it's going really well, you know, it's Monday, ready to start off the week, it's so excited. Yeah, me too, Monday, Monday, what a glorious time. Everybody, we do crappin' on demand, which is videos. This is not a video, but if you wanna see a couple video

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You caught me when I was siipping my iced coffee. I'd you do Being orthodox. Oh my unorthodox life from Netflix. So we're gonna do that this week There's lots of other fun bonuses to go sign up and thank you to everybody who house signed up and today We're here with a little real house- of Potomac Tombs, okay? Yeah, what an episode. Potomac is so good and it opens up in the most exciting way possible Robin in bed with her phone, her alarm going off. Yeah, um, Robin in bed. Yeah, 8.26 am. She's got her alarm at this. And I thought, God, I do that too,

because I think it's gonna trick my body. If I don't do 825, but I do 826, yeah. I'll have that like sudden jolt of wake up. Like, oh my God, it's 825. But it wasn't. The whole time. Like you're trying to trick yourself.

I know, I often set my alarms for non, like, I don't want to say major numbers. There's a, there's a heuristic for it where certain things, certain numbers feel more important, like zeros and fives and tens and things like that. And I'm like, I'll set my alarm for 801 or something, you know, or like 916. It's very strange. Yeah, because you don't want to feel like, I'm getting up at 8 like everybody. Like I got up at 8.01, bitch.

Yeah, it's like my one moment of individuality of the day. It's like, look at me, I'm an artist. I wake up at 8.26. Yeah, look at me sleeping late. Until 26. So one is there. One had a talk with Robin in a fucking vegan smoothie shop or whatever. Which listen, if you ever want to get me to listen to you, it's not going to be from a lecture at a vegan smoothie shop.

How about ego fuck yourself? How about if you want to tell me anything that you want me to actually listen to, you do it over a Bloomin onion. But I don't think I'd be able to listen to anything in front of a Bloomin onion though. I'd actually be resentful if I had to stop and listen instead of just dive into the Blooming onion. Well, he had a lecture for her about getting her ass out of bed in the morning. So he's like, get off. The boys are waiting.

So she gets up and wakes up one of her sons. She's like, have a seat in your chair in front of your computer, have a great day at school, and then goes back to bed. Yeah, like, she wakes up the kid like three minutes before class. Which sucks. I mean, you know, and by the way, I have a lot of empathy for her because, you know, I think pandemic burnout is real. But I don't have a lot of empathy for is Juan,

who's in the bathroom doing who knows what, saying, hey, Robin, are the boys awake? How about you go wake them up yourself? Like, you know, there are two people here, and you're already awake, so go do it. Or how about you teach your children to wake themselves up? Yeah. Ooh.

Ooh. Yeah. I guarantee they know how to use an alarm clock. I guarantee. Yeah. How about you threaten them that if they're not up then something gets taken away, okay? They get up, they make themselves some cereal

and then they sit in front of their computer, okay? Yeah, how about this is coming from a non-parent to it's very very easy for non-parents to be like oh raise them better Oh, I'm a Well, I'm listen. This is what I say I say proper Prop the laptop up and if the kid doesn't wake up then congratulations You're now sleeping on the zoom in front of your whole class. And now you've been humiliated in front of your peers. And now you'll never make that mistake again. That's what I call parenting. Good old trauma.

Come on. Trauma, shame, embarrassment, and trauma. Yeah. When public humiliation stopped working. I know. We all love those stories of the judge who said, you know what? You get for your sentence, you're going to be handcuffed to a donkey for five days, and I'll teach you to never kick a donkey or something like that.

And we're always like, everyone forwards that around me like, now this is justice, just do it to your kids. Yeah. So it's 30 minutes later and she's snoring now, and Ben and Juan comes in and he's like, come on, Robin. She's like, the quarter is an opiate, I have two more minutes. Yeah, and again, I'm wondering why Juan can't also just walk Robin, she's like, the quarter is an opiate. I have two more minutes. Yeah. And again, I'm wondering why Juan can't also just walk into his

childhood room and like wake up the kid, right? So, uh, Juan, he's, he just likes to start saying how she's making excuses and she said, and Robin talks about how she just burned out by the pandemic and just nonstop. It's homework, it's dinner, it's basketball practice. It never ends. Um, and she's just lost all her motivation. Yeah. So then the teacher is talking to one of the kids. And she's like, come on Carter, you have to make sure your mom wakes you up earlier, okay?

Because school is your responsibility. And you have to take it. Okay, then the school's his responsibility. Then tell him he has to wake himself up, Okay. Yeah, how about that? Tell him to go big to these mother. What kind of teacher are you? Yeah, how about you teach the fundamentals of an alarm clock? How about that? How about a alarm clock 101? Thank you for coming to parenting by two people with that children. Okay, let's go over to your favorite thing is to give parenting advice with like no

context or experience. That's my favorite. So Ray is moving flowers around the house because of course, Karen's got some damn, you know, home goods bullshit. It's like some of our, yeah, it's heavy. It's a small car to move around. So he's like, oh, trying to move these flowers around and Karen's trying to figure out her webcam with Ray,

you know, which is, it's pretty, it goes pretty much how you think it would. Ray, honey, the lighting's yellow, Ray. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, showing us, you know, the difficulties of, you know, it's just funny because Karen knows how to set an alarm clock, but doesn't know how to do zoom.

And the kids know how to do zoom, but don't know how to do an alarm clock. Each one has what the other one needs. Oh, so she's having him adjust her ring light or whatever and change the colors and she's like, well, you're not even leaving me until this thing goes live, right? He's like, oh, zoom. Why do I have to do with those zoom? But then the second the zoom comes on, Ray is like Ed McMahon over there. I was like, oh, yes, Karen, tell it again. I love this zoom. Yeah, and he is like, this may be his first zoom call

he's ever done, because he's like, hey, there's people there. I was like, yes, Ray, it's a zoom call. That's how they work. There are people on screen. He's like, look at that, and they're talking. Let Dom has been on a journey, right? Let Dom Wigs is the second leg in the journey. They're success doesn't come easy up. I'm lucky to be alive in the pandemic. Thankfully, people need to spray themselves and wear Wigs in the pandemic.

Oh, good people of Zoom. Good small little people of Zoom. First of all, I want to say thank you in advance. I do love Hollywood squares. It's wonderful to be here. I'm going to be choosing the one in the middle there, and momentarily, but first let me say, I'm so excited to be here with you guys, and I brought my little sweetheart. Go wave at him. Yes, Ray, they wave at you.

They can see you, Ray. Yes, those are real people Ray. I, I made a glue list installation for you all, I named them Kim and Queens. You can go from the boardroom to the bedroom money, tell them Ray, tell them, tell them how you can actually walk from a boardroom to a bedroom, do it Ray. Ray is just being an old creepy perv on the zoom, he's like, I like some queens, I'm I get into some more zooms. Calm down Ray, okay?

You know what? Watch your mouth, you're back to flower pop moving. Ray. Who's swimming who? So then we go to Jazeela to coffee shop and Ashley, who is now officially about 65 weeks pregnant and she comes on in. I'm like, this lady is, I'm like, how are you going places?

If it were me, I would be on a cushion at all times, not moving at all. Again, saying that some of you have never been pregnant. Yeah, she's definitely a trooper that one. Does Jizzo ever go anywhere that's not a pastry shop? That's my main question. Everywhere Jizelle ever go anywhere that's not a pastry shop? That's my main question. Everywhere it just goes, it's for pastry.

I know, but every single place she goes is a pastry shop. Ashley comes in and Jizelle gives her her shrimp bacon and cabbage. Wait, is that her? Oh, she must be getting a salad, right? Yeah, but she says she wants the straight, shrimp bacon cabbage situation.

So then the whole time I was like, is that the flavor of the cake? Like, fuck modern cake. But then I realized she got a salad as well. There was a salad, don't you worry? I think she got some manner of puppy cake with frosting. It looked delicious, to be honest. Is this something that Potomac's trying to push on us?

Because this is not the only time in this episode we have somebody eating like a cake with a salad. Because me as a kid later puts a cut cake in a salad, right? I was a donut with a salad. Yeah. There you go. It's a cakey substance. Okay.

Yeah. It's brainwashing. It's a new food pyramid. Listen, no, you guys have been doing it in Austin forever. I mean, listen, I went to, well, like Gordos or whatever it's called, where I had like a, some manner of like a beaten, ruthless salad in like a donut bowl. You know, you guys have been on top of that for a while. Yeah, Gordos.

Um, so let's see. So who cares what they're eating? Besides the two of us. Jacelle gives her her pastry first because she's being very nice. They have some small talk and the baby and stuff. And Jacelle's basically like, so are you worried that Michael's gonna fuck the nanny.

Yeah, pretty much. And she's ashy as like, you know what, I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. You know, understanding what an influence he has over Dean is contributing to Michael doing this right. I'm like, if Michael had a shred of thought about how his actions could impact anyone, he would not, like we would not even be

at this question right now. He doesn't think about that stuff. And isn't it, is there a new Michael Darby scandal that's brewing by the way that I see that earlier today or my, I don't know what was it. Someone sent me something of like Michael Darby, I think it was on Dume Waw, which I guess is an Instagram thing.

And they were, excuse me. I don't know. Wow. Are they big? Yeah, hello. Dume Waw. Oh, well, yeah, people send in blinds. I don't know. Wow. Are they big? Yeah. Hello. Do what? Do what?

Oh, well, yeah. For people sending blinds. People sending blinds. Well, apparently, well, someone sent me something from G-Wa about Michael Darby and a lady. But I didn't check to see how I could look it up. Well, you do have the next thing. But I think that I think another Michael Darby scandal is is just dating, you know, that's how it works.

Just dating and open intended Ben. Yeah. You know, have a baby one year, have a scandal the next. That's that's the way it works. Well, it's hard having this conversation, right? Because now you've got Jacelle who's like, oh, are you sure Michael's going to behave himself? Don't forget. He was just at a strip club. I mean, Giselle, you were with Jamal, who was rumored to like impregnate somebody from the church just a few months ago. And before that, she was dating that guy who was fucking in a park. I don't know. It's a rough breakfast. It's a rough breakfast is what I'm saying. So she saying that Ashley saying that she's going to give Michael the benefit of the doubt because he really wants to do this well for Dean

He wants to do it right. So you know to Michael about just means it's not getting caught, but hey, you know what exactly you make the effort you can It just means that he is gonna put a sticker over all cell phones nearby Yeah, So then they start talking about Karen's party and Ashley says, in attendance was Eddie and Wendy. Could you please stand by a castle door with a horned while you say this? In attendance? In attendance with a following. So she tells her who is there and she tells her that Mia said she volunteered that she had three C sections So I asked her about her click and she said that they just get it in too much. I mean, what is it flapping in the wind?

It's a very specific image that she put into our brains with that. Yeah So then Mia said that once she realized that Jazeal wished death upon the ray, that Mia said, you're just a pretty face. Jazeal's like, okay. So after she left that party, she was texting me and Robin Happy Valentine's Day, et cetera. And then we see a very long text

thread that seems to only be Mia as tax that are paragraphs long. Yeah, exactly. And by the way, I just want to say I did just try to look up this gestating scandal and I could not find it. So I will give an update later. So I apologize if I just dredged up false and or and or old news. So sorry, everyone. Yeah, that's just giving you an angry look. I have my arms crossed. I'm just giving an angry look to the microphone. Sorry, everyone. Sorry that I couldn't deliver with my Michael Darbin is. I knew I should have...

Let me see. Michael Darbin. No, I don't really care. I'm just kidding. I think I'm getting my stories mixed up. So then just else like, okay, well now I'm looking sideways at Mia. So she says, oh, they start talking about pregnancy and how during her second pregnancy,

nobody even cared about her. They were just like, how are the babies? How are the twins? Wow, you're having twins? Great, how are the twins? And it made her feel very sad. Yeah, so now she wants to pamper Ashley. She wants to throw a pamper party for Ashley,

because she basis like, are you feeling lonely? It doesn't matter, I'm throwing a party anyway. We have to throw a party for this episode, so we're gonna do it. And she's like, so the one person I don't want to invite is the woman I can't stand right now, Karen Hur, but of course I wish you once invited her and Mia Yes, and just else like so this me a girl I mean do you tell people that you just met that you got your clip done because who tells people they just got their clip done

And as she says porn star since she's like yeah, that's what I thought And you know just love slut shaming a, yeah, that's what I thought. And you know, it's just that love slut shaming the new person. Like that's just Elshab, that's what she did to Ashley when she met Ashley. Yeah. Yeah, she loves that. And you know, now she's got Wendy to help out. So that's gonna be great. Zenwen.

So then we now go over to Robyn's mom's warehouse, which I didn't know there was a warehouse in the family, so that's very exciting. And Robbins there with a Scala, a Scala, a Scala, a Scala, right? A Scala. I knew it. I knew there was like a, there was a syllable at the end. I just couldn't remember a Scala. And they're packing orders for, and I'm really behind my orders, you know, because my, well, my business has blown up. So they're packing and everything and they're talking about the pamper party and Wendy shows up because why not? Like, why not hang out at a warehouse, right? Yeah.

And she's talking about her home essential line. I'm doing candles. And Robin's like, what happened to professor and political commentator? Now we've got candles and all the central lines. Those don't go together. Well, you're a house flipper with hats. I mean, I agree with you. But come on. Yeah, Robin, I think both points can exist together. Yes. So now we go over to Mia's house and Mia is, she's like in a wine cellar or something

or she's picking up a bottle of wine. Hmm, when we have a taste for tonight and so she chooses a wine and then she's like. Every scene she likes to prove that she's a business woman. Last week she was walking around on her cell phone like, look at me. I'm on the phone. And this week she's like, I'm going over tables.

So what do you think of tables? Do you know a table with because of business? Yeah. Do you know what the weather storm was? I was like, what was that storm for? I had to rewind it three times before. She said stormfront. She's like, do we that? Storfer. I had to rewind it three times before I realized she said storefront. She's like, do we know the width of the storefront?

Storfer? Do we know it? What does storefront? So she's talking about the Ashley Pamparday at the spa and she's like, well, you know what happened? Karen's right. He's like, oh, actually the guys were in the kitchen talking about how many deer were there staring in the window of the day before it

So you'll have to update me so she starts telling him while we cut back Between the Wendy stuff so we go back to Wendy and Wendy's like I said the minute that you sell isn't here She's just a pretty face and she's doing this with her hands She's moving her hands and so I said first all, do not put your hands on my face. And she says, what are you gonna do about it? Old win would have popped, but new Zen win is Zen win, okay? Because that's my name, Zen win. I think she needs to figure out what Zen wins

to answer by the way. I'm having some branding issues, because she seems pretty fired up, and she gets fired up again later, and she keeps on insisting that she's Zeneng, but for someone who's so Zenweng, she seems to really be like rather bothered by the situation. So let me go back to Gordon who's saying how he enjoyed talking to Eddie and me. I was like, yeah, but he comes off like he's like scannifer.

Like I like I know my Annie. I know he doesn't think anyone here is cute. Honey, your husband couldn't even look at me in the eye when he went, okay, honey. So then back with the others, Robin is like, well, I told Karen to try and check herself. It's like, well, you know, then back to, or whoever, whose house was it at? That's got, oh yeah.

When it was like, so Wendy's like, well, the event was at my house. So I didn't want anyone to feel ganged up on. So that's why I was standing up for Karen because Robbins mad that she wasn't mad at Karen with the rest of them. And she's kind of standing up for Karen. And so Robbins like, well, the Wendy from last year

would have had Jacelle's back. And now you're gonna have Karen's back. Yeah, she's like, this makes no sense. And when he goes, I'm good. I'm Zenwin. I'm Zenwin. Yeah, I thought about that. I came up with Zenwin a few weeks ago

and I've decided I'm just gonna, I'm really gonna push that forward. So I'm gonna say it a few more times. Just in case. She's really trying to make Zenwin happen, for sure. So then speaking of trying to make things happen, what's remember that Candace is a mother now guys, okay? So both back to Candace and her kids, um, she is basically talking to Chris

about being the husband, but he's just making drinks down in the bar, which sounds good to me, Reminds me of my childhood. Ah! Mm-hmm. Yeah, and Candice is like, if my mother saw this, she'd be like, Candice, you're drinking too much. And Chris goes,

well, I'm an adult. I'll drink when I want. I was like, oh, okay. So then, of course, you say, my mother thinks, and then, of course, you're immediately,

oh, Candice! Candice! Yeah, Candice is going actually like, slaps are on the side of the face with the pocket books and how. Like, that's the ringtone. A little tiny purse comes out and hits Candice across the face. It's the only physical ringtone known to man. So, yeah, so Dorothy, Face Times and Candice is like,

look, it's Chris, oh, drinking in the middle of the day, Dorothy says. So, uh, so then Candace is like, uh, while I'm supposed to have tea with Karen this weekend. Oh, you have to be careful, okay? You have to be careful. Mr. Be careful! And Candace tells us that she loves Karen like a sister and an auntie, so I need her to express that she is wrong for defending Repra heads of all both Shackd. Yeah, which is really not what happened. So then Dorothy is like asking about the music. She's like how is the music going?

How much more might you need for this ridiculous dream that will never lead to anything? Just tell me the bill. What is it? And Candace says, oh well have I told you that Chris is like managing me? I call my husband juror. It's hilarious. It's it rolls right off the tongue. Here you try it. Husband juror. Husband juror. Husband juror. Just try it. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby.

Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby.

Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Huzzby. Exactly. And the mom's like, well, when your husband quits his job and manages, he manages you with

his sole income. I was like, I do not like you insinuating that Chris is trying to take my money. Well, where else is he getting paid? He's getting paid from your money, right? Yeah. I don't really know where any of their money comes from to be honest. I mean, Dorothy, it's clearly Dorothy, because I don't know what they do. I don't know what they do. Yeah. So Candace is mad at her. She's like, you are giving me undue stress.

And she's like, what is your life Candace? Please remember that mother. So then we go over to Karen and Wendy, who are getting together at whose house? Karen's house, right? Karen's house. Yeah. So Karen puts out this big sushi spread and Wendy's like, where's that Nigerian food, Karen?

Karen's like, I don't know, I don't understand that question. Let's head downstairs to my woman cave. It's my woman cave. And so Wendy says, last year, Karen and I were button heads but truth is that when you're a grown woman in a good place it's easy to move forward and I have a newfound respect for anyone who has started a business I'm like okay Karen is not Bill Gates over here okay this is Karen has she has a fragrance that she got into a store, which is,

that's very impressive, but let's, even, let's not act like she's, you know, the next seat on Shark Tank over here. I think the real truth is that they're sharing Matt. I have no proof of that, but that's what I'm thinking, is that they're sharing Matt, because Matt's like the business one, right? He's like, oh, you get a fragrance,

and I'll go sell that shit girl. So that's what he does for all the housewives. So I think that Wendy probably snagged Matt and then now Wendy and Karen have to make friends or whatever, and Karen's kind of lording Matt over Wendy, like, hmm, you wanna use my game? Mm, you will eat my sushi and shut up about it. Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

So Wendy is tell her, guess what? Cause Wendy really knows how to stick to a point. She's like, well, Kewin, I'm a Zenweng now. I'm thwuggling. I want to be the black Martha Stewart. Tows, pillows, throw wugs. She should talk to Pedro Parks, and they can maybe collaborate on some ideas.

Specialized rugs that you can wrap dead bodies up in. I'm like, ideas. Specialized rags that you can wrap dead bodies up in. So, uh, so Karen, when she says she wants to see details, pillows and throw wags carrying us, it's a multi-billion dollar industry. She probably says that about everything. Like, Ray, could you pass the pickles? It's a multi-billion dollar industry. like candy I like I do trillion dollar industry oh don't really let's make our bad you know making beds is a million dollar industry Ray then when then when so Karen's like well she's really grown she's looking for mentorship.

Mm-hmm. I mean, I am who I am. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Stick them in, Karen. Stick them in. Click them to your gums, Karen.

So, uh, Karen's like asking, you know, things like... So, you have a business plan, because I showed a hell, didn't? Well, yeah, I have written a paragraph. a paragraph. That's way too many words. How about just a piece of punctuation? Get on with it. You know what I'm saying? Let me see your candle. What sort of candle do you have? Okay, well here it is on on on only only on on when Zenwend I can't read this And she says oh yeah, oh yeah, and Karen's like, oh, Wendy, very classy. I like to say it. Now, you have a product.

So who is your market? And who knows, oh yeah, why would they pick your candle and no one else's candle? She's like, but this is what I'm afraid of. Why are you doing this to me? Well, when you come to me for advice, you're not going to get your hand held. Ray, like overhand. So then we go to Mia. This is where her kid is even good donut salad.

We learn a little bit about Wendy. I mean, about Mia in this scene. She tells us that she has joint custody with Joshua's father and that they've become friends because the most important thing is Joshua. And then they start, she sits down with Jean has a talk about spending Valentine's Day with her mom. And she's had a rough time with her mom because her mom and dad both had a drug issue and she ended up in foster care. And so she would hear about her mom getting it together and going to rehab, but she didn't even have contact with her for six whole years as a kid.

And she feels like her mom was so embarrassed that she lost her kid that she kind of cut her off, like she wouldn't even write her back or do anything. Yeah. It's sad. Sad. Sad. Sad. So, but clearly we are now going to see what her arc is for the season because Gordon,

his name is Gordon, right? Uh-huh. Yeah, he thinks that like basically, you know, in time they'll find a way to open the door to having a relationship again. So that's where that's going. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just going to end up

on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber,

a seemingly innocent tick-tock of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder-y-a. And then we go over to Candace's house where Karen shows up. Oh yes, this is nice. Yes, Candace. Yes. Oh, this is beautiful. Look, look at this beautiful marble. Oh, this is

just foam core, isn't it? Okay, well that's fine too. I really approve of your builder. Gorgon, as I pronounce it, Gorgon. Gorgon construction, is that what this is? Well, it looks very stable. So Karen, you know, look, Karen really wants to show us that she's got power over mammals because in every scene, it's a different kind of fur with Karen the season. She said, no, there's another thing I had killed to laugh. So, okay, and they're also like costume fur as you know, like, hey, it's 42nd Street on Broadway, it's a late end of 20s and a fur coat. Yeah, it's so anyway, she comes in with her giant fur and then they're both

being very like formal with each other. Karen's like, the last is breathtaking, kind of breathtaking. Look at all your hard work or whatever it is that you do to earn this. I just I just want to take this all in before it gets repossessed. Beautiful views. Beautiful. God, you're going to always remember that balcony. Oh, so special these memories. Oh, and Candice is like, well, we're going to be doing T. Is that okay? And I was afraid she was going to say, because I'm singing.

But luckily she didn't. So Karen's like, well, you know what is? You know it's okay. So she serves T in a McKenzie Childs' kettle. Just nasty ass checkerboard bullshit. So then my old nemesis rears its ugly head. And Karen's like, so do we want to try and save our friendship? This is really good juju for you guys.

Really good juju. Meanwhile Maya is like sliding down the stairs trying to get Karen to be like, Oh hello cute little child. come give Auntie a hug, Auntie has some grommin' her purse. But Karen's not like that. So Karen just turns her back to the stairs and ignores the child. I know, she's like, would you like a word of this replication? I don't have the original, unfortunately.

Oh, so, uh, Candace is like, well, mommy hood is challenging, but it's also very fun. Um, so listen, this conversation is a part of the peace and feeling that I have now. Like, I'm in a place that we could move forward, but it's very important that we define what, what, what, what that looks like in that space. What, what are you talking about, campus? Yeah, it's just a friendship, okay? Like, this is not, you don't need a business plan for a friendship, and so Karen says,

well, I know you were hurt and matter the decision that I made to be neutral, and I don't regret it. I did my best, and you were hurt physically and mentally and emotionally, and I was hurt. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Get it, you're needy! You need attention at all times from your elders. I understand it, but they were circling around you. I'm protecting you. And can't, this is like, but we had conversations that superseded the group, so why would outside factors be a hindrance

when it mattered the most? And goes, well, I can't change the past. And she goes, well, you just said you wouldn't have changed anything anyway. Which, you know, I mean, you got to have to take care of it. Like you're trying to get her to come lay herself out for you. She told you and she had a conversation with you separate from the group about it. And she had a conversation with the group about it. You're not going to win just by crying all the time, but by all means, please take that quartered grilled cheese and wipe your eyes with it. Because this is the biggest asphalt we've seen yet with Gavin. Yeah, this is like literally,

she has taken a pyramid. She's taken the pyramid in front of the Louvre and is putting in her eyeball right now. She's taken like a quarter of a club sandwich and she's like, dabbing her eye with it. Yeah. So she's dabbing it and Karen's, Karen's like, no, I don't know what this looks like moving down the road. Like I literally wonder what looks like moving down the road because we have to move again. We cannot afford a house. And Candice is like, well, I opened up the walls of forgiveness, but she is not capable of being my friend.

Can't be quiet. I wish she could get you out of her own house. Be quiet, can't. Let's get Ashley's pamper party. Yeah. And so, just Alice at the spawn, she's setting up balloons and she's just beating up the balloons. She's just swatting at them. She's just like, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And Candace arrives and Candace says that she's not gonna say anything rude about Ashley, not while Ashley is with child. Because now that matters. So she talks about seeing Karen,

but Karen said she doesn't regret it. So I'm like, past the piece then. Fine, just past the piece. We can so geeky. And she says like, no, that's very fucked up. I need you to be more angry. Yeah. So people arrive, Ashley shows up again.

So, so pregnant. And she's like, oh my god, you got food. She's just so happy that there's food there. That's all she wanted. Oh, so let's see. Robin tells Ashley, oh, you got food. She's just so happy that there's food there. That's all she wanted. Oh, so let's see. Robin tells Ashley, oh, you know the seconds easy. Don't worry. Carter just popped right out.

She's like, did you get torn? She's like, whoa, maybe a little bit. She's like, no. So then the scholar shows up to, and she brings a gift and it's champagne Yeah, she says it's because she craves champagne when she is pregnant so she can have it right when she gives birth But that shit was in the garage, okay, that's a regift. You don't give a pregnant woman champagne Yeah, cuz as she's like is this good champagne like what's Andre? So yeah, because also if you're breastfeeding, you can't drink, right?

Or you have to drink a small amount. Isn't that what they say? Well, yeah, you're not supposed to, I mean, I don't know, here we go again. I think that it's, you're not supposed to drink, but then some people have a glass or something a day. I don't know. I think we all know the only thing you can eat

when you are pregnant is sushi and rochie, is I think. So anyway, Karen, really the best thing to take from your pregnant mercury supplements. So cold cuts all day long. Definitely sleep on your stomach. So Karen arrives and she says, this is the continuance of the nest that I get. Did you say the nest that I gave you? What did she say? That's what I thought she said. That's what I wrote to you.

This is a continuance of the nest I gave you. I didn't know nest could be on a continuum, but they are apparently. So Karen's like, I would not interact with Juzerl until Juzerl owns her own lies. And just like, nope, I'm not here for you, Karen. So then me comes and Wendy's just giving her stink eye the whole time. So she's like, hello, hello, Wendy. And Wendy says, well, I'm open to getting to know her, but she's definitely a wet Vapa. This is just like such a tenuous hill for Wendy to die on, but you know, I appreciate it, because it's what real housewives is all about. So then they play this game where,

Giselle shows everyone like a blown up picture of someone in the group, they're pregnant belly, and they have to guess who it is. So they're all, they're like really good and they all are guessing them. But the best one of course was Karen's. And they figure out Karen's belly because there's a, the picture is so old, there's like a date from like that.

From the film that it was shot on. Yeah, when cameras used to timestamp things, it's like from 1997. Yeah, they're like, I think that one's Karen because it's not actually a photo, it's just a very strong Victorian drawing. They're like, we guess Karen's because it's a dim type, okay? So Karen is, they show a picture and they're like, wait a minute, Candace is like, let me explain. I was pregnant there with possibilities. And they all crack up. So then they start separating their own possibilities.

So then they separate two of them at a time to go get their treatments at the spa. And so Ashley and the scholar sent off first and meanwhile Karen is talking to me and me is like oh your party was great it was everything I needed She was well I was concerned with Wendy Okay over there Wendy everything going okay, and Wendy's like well. I'm white here. You can talk to me about it. Yeah so Candace Says So Candace says that hands can come off as through. Oh yeah, they're talking about that. But me talking with her hands and Candace is saying, well, you know, you know,

talking with your hands can come off as threatening, which I know that that's, I know that's not Candace who's saying that Candace who was got into this controversial fight by sticking your hands in Monique's face. Okay? Yes. Yes. So, yeah, Candace, the voice of reason. So then Wendy's like, well, do not try that with me again. And she's like, well, I talked with my hands.

I mean, you can't tell me how to act. If you don't like how I act, you can, I'm on. You can sound. Can you see that one more time? No, you can't. I don't know. You can't. No, I'm really, I'm French dream.

What? Hands. So then Wendy has decided that she's just going to go after this girl at all times. So she's like, I did not come for your carons because I respect people's homes. But today, I have time. I'm Zenwen. So do not come for me when I homes, but today I have time. I'm Zenwen.

So do not come for me when I have time because I have time. Tick tock. Mew. I mean, wait. So you're saying that because you're Zenwen and you have a Zen Constitution that therefore no one should start with you because you're going to go off on them. Is that what the, I don't get how that works. I don't understand how you being Zen-Len means that you are now a force to be reckoned with

in terms of popping off. Those things don't make sense together. Yeah, she's like, I'm Zen, so I'm gonna take time to tell your ass off. So then Robin just starts cracking up. And she's like, well, Zen-Len has time. That's my favorite thing that Robin does. My favorite is when Robin just sits there and then just becomes the audience

and just starts cracking up also because she just does it in everyone's face all the time. I'm like, oh, it's a funny one. It's so funny. So then Wendy's still going, tick twerk, tick twerk, I have time, I have time. And Wendy goes, I mean, who are you anyway? Like, you don't even go here.

Like, okay, so now you're Zenweng and Mean Girls. And at the clock. Okay. She's trying to make that chap in, she's everything. So, Mia's like, I mean, she was basically saying that I was coming off as being she. My name is Wendy, my name is Oend Wendy. All right, well, she was I was trying to uplift you with the table, okay? And just and just I was like, well, I love

Bob that you were trying to get all to know all of us. You know what? I'm just I'm just being me. Okay, mea from the block. And I won't forever be transpiring, okay? I love that Wendy's obsessed or offended at being called C. She does not have that thing on her Instagram, where she's like, she, her. She's like, my name is Wendy. That is how you will put to me, okay? My phone is Wendy.

Yeah. My phone number's Zen. She said slash when. So, just as I was saying, can I ask you something? She said slash when. So does else is, can I ask you something or can I say something? And me, I says, well, you said, I was acting she and Wendy's. So Wendy says, your issues is not with me. Your issues with yourself because every two seconds, you put your foot in your mouth. And they cut Ashley's foot in the spot being wrapped in seaweed. And me and says, well, you should be saying happy at home. And that's why no sweetie.

You're unhappy at home. And that's why you got to click that. Oh, and Candace is like, oh, and Mia says, I don't have time for small minded people. And you're dismissed. You're dismissed. You were to smith. You want to smith. You want to smith like I've done. Then don't smith. So Mia goes to the other room and goes for someone who's all about female impairment. Germany crinkets. Which I still have some leftover trauma from below deck, whatever season it was when there was that one guy who's like, Germany crickets there. Oh yeah. Yeah. the guy. Oh, yeah. Oh, you're so awful.

He was really trying to make Jumminy Crickets happen. That was the Zenweng of that season. Ha, ha, ha, ha. So back with the other ladies, just so I was like, this isn't, I don't mind you going hard, but you have to let the other person speak. And when he's like, she said, I don't deal with small, minded people.

She's like, well, I missed that because you wouldn't stop talking now. Well, my response to Mia was because I was defending Jazeal. So I guess loyalty is a one sided thing in the playbook of Jazeal and Robin because they're not showing it to me. I'm like, oh my goodness. Are we going to get into some sort of strange, like circular logic about who's loyal to who based on what someone said? And and like I can't even follow it anymore But clearly Wendy is now defecting to team Karen and she's moving away from being team Jacelle

Although I never really remembered what team Wendy was on in the first place She seemed like she was sort of there for everyone except for Karen actually Wendy didn't like Karen, but she was anti Monique that was like her. Yeah She was like, yeah, and Ashley at first within they made out. So Karen's like, well, this is supposed to be fun, but Satan is wrong, the party. So this is what happens. So now Ashley comes back and Wendy goes out to her massage and Juzell and Robyn are telling Ashian a scholar about everything with Wendy and Then Wendy is now with Candace and she's saying how she's in a good place and

Candace is saying how she just hates that Wendy feels that she has to puff up her chest in front of Mia Right and she's like but then when then when I'm literally in a good place then when and Candace is like she's gonna pop a titty if she keeps puffing up her chest like that. Yeah. So, Ashley is in the bathroom with Robin and Chazal. And Robin's like, well, we need to translate

because I want to get to know Mia, preferably after two. Yeah. And yeah, because they basically want to get to know Mia without Karen and Wendy around. And then Karen yeah, because they basically want to get to know me without Karen and Wendy around. And then Karen says, Hey, Ashley, what are the key key moments with fireballs with you? actual fireballs. That's kind of dangerous. And then a scholar goes, Oh, can I ask one thing? Because there was a comment made that you drink heavily, Karen. I love it. I just come to write in with it. The scholar basically stamps up, takes out a time card and punches in.

I don't hear for work, think. I think Karen says, well, I think it's very reckless to say, hmm, that's someone's now color like, and then it cuts the Karen saying to Giselle, Yo, a trunk! It was like literally at a rest of the development levels of like Lucille Bluth. It was literally like that, remember that famous episode where Lucille Bluth and Oscar Bluth are like, Yo, hi, you're drunk, yo! That is basically all that Karen and Giselle are right now.

It's perfect. So Karen's like, well, I love these women and I can talk to them for hours. And I party, you can come to my party whenever we just did a loved party. Like so nice strike, Karen. But yeah, she just sort of like oddly owns it. Like no, I don't drink a lot.

I just have parties. We had a loved party. We had a party for a turtle. We had a party for a, I found a tick tack. We had a party for tick turtle. We had a party for a... I found a tic-tac. We had a party for tic-tac. So I got drunk and called my girlfriends. Can I let them into my life? I was like, I saw a tic-tac. Mmm. That's funny. That's another crazy turn. So Ashley's like, yeah, that party was fun.

We got to know more about Mia and G. And Mia goes, yeah, someone called G. And was like, um, hey, we got a new girl here. You might like. And then he's like, okay. And so he showed up. And like, yes, after serving drinks, I did become a stripper. You might like and then he's like, okay, and so he showed up and like yes after serving drinks I did become a stripper and that's what I met G Whoa, what? Yeah, but then she's like, but I don't do the poll. Okay, cuz this trip club. It's like a five star restaurant

I'm like, what is it? LeBernodan? What do you mean it's a five star restaurant? It's a James Beard award winning, you know, Michelin star plays a five star restaurant. They don't have a poll because they don't want that to take them out. And the girls were long gowns. And most of my clients just want to talk. They just want some of your time. And just just go so like an escort. Yeah. But escorts have sex for money. Just, I wouldn't know about that. All right. Hey, listen, this Escort had sex for chiropractic franchises. I think she deserves a little respect here, people. Well, when I met Gordon, he offered me a joint, and I thought he meant need, but now I have

chiropractic offices. He didn't pop my cherry, but he did pop my back, and that's what I knew. It was love That'll be my next season tagline so Ashes like well, I've been to strip clubs where they're wearing gowns and they're they weren't ball gowns And their koochos out and they're put their paces on something was out, right? I'm by the way, I'm still wrapping my mind around the idea of like some sort of strip club with gowns.

That seems... I guess I can sort of see it, it seems a little odd. Yeah, so Canvas is like, come on, you were doing something in that club to make that old Gees or turn around and take you up to that penthouse. And Karen's like, there's no shame in that. I was thinking about getting a bowl. I was thinking about one of those little retractable ones in the bedroom. She can show me how to use it. Oh dear. So then, so then, Jacelle leaves and Karen is like, oh wow, Jacelle leaving early, that's

just Jacelle. Jacelle is not a host, she's not a dresser, she's not a good wig wearer, I'm just saying. Now she's right on most of those points, but let's not also forget that Karen was the one who hosted a wig party last season and left it early, left it early and then when they asked, she's like, it's my ride, it's my party. So I chose to leave early. I'm allowed to leave early. True, but at that party, they were all attacking her. And at this party, she just throws a party and then it's like, mm, okay, I'm bored. Bye. Bye, true.

True. So then they have like, then Ascala leads a prayer for Ashley and they like pray for peace amongst each other. Ascala is such a hypocrite. She's gonna fit in just great. I think she's gonna do a good job because, yeah, after just calling Karen an alcoholic basically, she's like we've

rebuke negativity here okay yeah good job a scholar. What a silly show I love this show. Yeah it's so good um so thank you everyone for listening we'll be back on our next episode to talk some shaws of sunset also another show full of delusion and ridiculous. Like this week's episode was, I mean, it was just resatastic, so I'm excited to dive into that. So be sure you're subscribed to our podcast if you're not go on to Apple podcast or Stitcher or Spotify wherever you listen to podcasts and just hit that subscribe button and let our episodes come to you, okay.

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