Watch What Crappens - RHOP: You Say Closure I Say Foreclosure

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

Ashley goes searching for her father on this week's Real Housewives of Potomac while Candiace house hunts on a locked trust fund budget. Enjoy! To hear this week's premium bonus about Andy's Watch What Happens Live Titus problem, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. ***New Limited Edition Shirts! "Season One Camille" "Demoted to Friend Of" and "Resting Honnay Face!" merch available at crappensmerch.com! Free shipping on orders of $45 or more! **Crappens Live is coming to Charlotte, Nashville, Carrboro, Richmond, Ft. Lauderdale, Indianapolis, St. Louis, Chicago, Philadelphia, Seattle, Ft Lauderdale, Atlanta and NYC! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Howley, Carolyn and Anne. Nancy, Ceas and Desisto. We love you guys. This one happens like this one Wow, the rabbits move You look like a rabbit Oh, but these are all the rabbits This one happens like this So much the rabbits Hello and welcome to Watch What Carapas And the podcast about all that crap We just love to talk about on Yo Bros I'm Ronny Caram

As usual, you can find me over on the Bachelor The Rose Pricks and Vatler and Paradise podcast. That's going to be super fun starting tonight. And as usual, I'm with my little bestie and co-host, Mr. Ben Mantelker of the Real Housewares of Kitchen Arlington, O'Lean. Hi, how's it going? Really good, everybody. We're excited. It's Monday, which means we're doing Real housewives of batomic But first I'm gonna plug Steph and I'm gonna do a super fast to listen up, okay?

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one Camille plus TMLVP shut up brand, Trixi Monaco Sturze and just regular watch it crap and stuff. There's free shipping until August 11th on orders of $45 and finally, here's a list of all the places we are going to be going for 2019. So listen for your city. We're going to Charlotte, Nashville, Atlanta, Carpereau, Richmond, Fort Lauderdale, Indianapolis, Chicago, New York, St. Louis, Philadelphia, and Seattle. So we love seeing you guys when we tour around and hope to see it one of those shows. Okay. Wow. Wow. Yeah. That's gonna be super, super fun. See you everyone at those shows because it's gonna be great. And today speaking of great real housewives of Potomac, the show that everyone is talking about.

I don't know about you, Ronnie, but I feel like every time I go anywhere, people are like, oh my god, Potomac, it is on fire. It is so good. It is so, so good. And you know it's going to be good because we open up with speedwalkers. The Housewives of Potomac has some of our, first of all, has the best music. It's got the great Interst what do you call it interstitial interstitial or or transitional?

Maybe it's music that allows you to segue way to the next scene The segue music yes, it's very good and they also have the best shots during their segues, which are the Frightened deer, which we got a lot of last season, or last week, and all previous seasons. And deer that are actually riding segues, which is also a really interesting thing to see. And this week we get speedwalkers.

Oh, speedwalkers. So yeah, we see lots of different things happening all at once. We see Monique dressing her son who has zero energy mother. Zero, I'm like, you know what, your mom is pregnant, so you better be quiet, sir. Little child who's full of energy. You're actually full of energy. Don't say you have zero energy. And then.

And she does have energy. Karen. I'm laying tennis with Ray. Look at this. Ray is giving me some tennis practice. Oh, it's like almost like the US Open. It's more like the US It's more like the US It's more like the US It's giving her balls to hit. And it's like, boop.

I'm surprised they weren't using those old time e-tennis racquets that are made of wood and are just like circles on long sticks, you know? Like from 1921. They're hands. They're just using, they're just playing catch over a net with tennis balls. Oh, look at this.

Look at all these sport of balls named Wilson. They know what am I feeling? So then we go over to Jacelle, who's calling Ashley, and it's this is such a Jacelle move to make this call. Jacelle is very Jacelle this year, and I have to say, this is the first year I'm really loving Jacelle because she's messy as hell, but she's, maybe I'm just used to her, like she's a terrible friend, but she's, maybe I'm just used to her, like she's a terrorist friend, but she's not as mean about, she's mean,

but she's not as terrible about it. I don't know how to describe it. Well, she is like being just as messy, but she seems to be doing it with more of a smile now, and she's just sort of like laughing at her own messiness. I think she's just sort of amused by the messiness that she causes, whereas in previous seasons, she would get really like,

indignant and angry and, you know, righteous about, you know, herself. And now she's just like having fun, just fucking with everyone. Yeah. Um, I guess what a creditor is calling me. Oh, spot even a creditor is from the 3-2-3 area code. Guess what? I don't know anybody money in the city that I think. Unless capital one is spoofing their calls now. Oh, well maybe it's your neighbor saying quiet down over there.

Good luck with that. Yeah. So, yeah, so she calls Ashley and does a very G-cell call. She's like, what's up, what's up, what's up? Baaah! Listen. I'm trying to tread lightly here. I'm trying to move forward I'm trying to move forward. I'm trying to move forward and actually it's like Okay, there's a there's a question mark, but I'm listening So I know that you are bored of being at home with your dick sucking husband And I thought I'd offer you an olive branch to come see my house where there are no dick sucking ass grabbing grinder profile having husbands do you think you might

want to come and Ashley's like I appreciate you extending the olive branch just keep your husbands olive branch hand away from men's butts how about that and she tells us you you know, I said some things to Ashley at Wandsworth, they, I mean, she took offense, but you know what? Look, I just wanted to know I've got her back. Oh my yeah, you sure do. Sure do, Giselle. Keep talking about her husband being a sexual assault or over and over again on National TV, Giselle. You know, Giselle. Hand in hand. Good friendships. Exactly. So then, uh, speaking of houses, we then see Candace and Chris arrive at a house in Fairfax, Virginia, because it's time for them to move out of their little, you know, lean to that is funded by Dorothy. So they are now going to be looking at places.

And so they come to this big house, huge house house and a realtor is showing them all around and They're like and here is your first master bedroom because this house actually has two master bedrooms and Why did you need that again? By the way? Why do you need two master bedrooms? And of course the answer is went for us and went for my mother. Yeah, I'm, my parents too, my parents, she's like, you have parents? Yeah, she's like, that's not going to happen, okay? Unless they're paying for this house, they are not getting a room in this house. Yeah, so, wait a, wait a draw of boundaries, by the way. Wait a draw of boundaries, you give your mom another master bedroom, okay?

It's called a guest spot, a guest house in the basement or guest room. Yeah, well, she's gonna have Her mother paying for this we all know it and even if it's not her mother giving her money monthly Which I don't see that ending anytime soon But it's gonna be her trust fund when she says later. She's got a trust fund She just doesn't know when she's gonna get it, but eventually she's gonna get it. Mm-hmm. I'd Dorothy that those Dorothy purse strings are strong They are strong. So they walk around.

It's like a big old MacManchon. And, you know, Candace has like hearts in her eyeballs because she just sees, you know, wealth and things like that. So we learned it's gonna be $2.5 million. So she's like, you know, ding, ding, ding, ding, like happy, and she's like in love, you know, because you know that she wants to be the one to say we spent $2.5 million on a house, right? But Chris, he's like, you know, like happy and she's like in love, you know, because you know that she wants to be the one to say

we spent $2.5 million on a house, right? But Chris, he's like, and she's like, well, but what's the issue? I'm like the issue, he's a manager at a restaurant and you don't have a job. You can't afford this. Yeah, he's like, in my family, that's a lot of money. Chris, in everyone's family, that's a lot of money.

Okay, this is ridiculous and hilarious to think that she's gonna pull this off and she's like, but I mean, come on Like we just have to keep working. I mean, and he's like he just looks at her like really or are you gonna make me say you don't really work on camera? Yeah, she's like, but look at all I do, you know the consulting the hair business This doesn't so as in as it, is the hair business beyond proof of concept at this point, you know? And then she's like, and I have my trust. Okay, there it is, there it is.

Yeah, there's the trust. Yeah, so the producer asked her, what's with the trust? And she's like, you know what, I actually don't know. My mother's worked very, very hard. And so we all have trust that we will have when it's time. And when is that time? I don't know, because I'm not gonna ask her have trust that we will have when it's time. And when is that time? I don't know because I'm not gonna ask her, but I'll get it when I get it.

Okay. Yeah. And then they ultimately decide that they're not gonna go for this house. Cricanis is like, you know what, Chris? I trust you and your judgment financially. And I can agree to stay where we are until we find our forever space.

And she's saying this as if like, she's making a sacrifice to not buy the house that she can't afford in the first place. Like, no, no, no, it's not like that you decide, you decide to make the sacrifice, this is not count, this is not go in the sacrifice category when you guys are getting into your next fight.

Like, oh, look at the sacrifices I made. I decided not to get that house because of you. No, no, you could not afford this house in the first place. Okay, so don't try to make it sound like you have given up the house. It is not yours to give up. No, I know, Ben. Man. You know, just to show you how much I love you, I've decided not to buy that Rolls Royce.

You thought I was gonna do it. Ronnie, thank you. Well, epic. You know what Ronnie, I don't want to hear about it. When you say I don't make compromises for this podcast. I chose not to buy that villa in Malibu I chose I did that for you That is so sweet So Candace is like well you I remember you said that when it's time to find

Time to buy the right mansion. It'll come along with faith He's like yeah faith. That's what I said she's like well that sounds like the Lord and we trust the Lord in this house I'm like because that's what Jesus is doing. Okay. I don't know if you've watched the news lately, but there's plenty to be done and nobody nobody in heaven gives a fuck if you get a mansion or not. Okay. Miss future foreclosure. I cannot wait until you get foreclosed on and you haven't even bought a house yet. Exactly. It'll be the saddest foreclosure. They, I mean, they are clearly moving into a pre-Robin flip. Okay, that is the future that I'm seeing. So then Ashley drives up to Jacelle's new house for a tour.

And Jacelle's like, are you scared? Are you scared of this new house? And she's like, no, I love old things. What's getting me pregnant soon? And he's totally got off from all the charges She's like has this house grove to anyone yet. No, okay so So then Robin shows up to and she's like I'm really sorry, but I have to pee and they're like okay Well good luck. We're not even sure if there's plumbing in this house and by the way the bathroom's kind of nasty so Robin

I first I thought it was like a joky thing But then when they showed the toilet and it was like just like a weird anonymous brown liquid in it, I was like, damn, like she had to be. That's sad, that's really had to go. And then she came out with the napkin that Jacelle had on her couch, did you see that? Yes, I mean, her legs, I was like, what is it? You guys can't stop the camera sometimes.

I know. Sometimes it's okay to stop the cameras. We're not gonna mind. Or like, I mean, you already have a reputation for being late. Just stop at like the pizza hut and just like pee in the back there or something. You know?

But you know what, Ron, I have to say, I kind of really love Robin, Jacelle's house. I actually love a lot of, I feel like when they were like, when Robin Robin says it was a lot of character. I was like, you know what? Robin's right. I I I I get into it. I know coming from someone with zero character So yeah, they're looking at this. I love the house too. I think it's gonna be a good, but it's scary That is a scary thing to do. That's a lot of work We watch a lot of house hunters and and HGTV and like I've see listen I've seen my my my fair share of love it or leave it and it's always like well

What we're going to do is we're gonna open up this wall and we're gonna make it open concept and then you open up the wall And there's like 10 dead rats and like an electric cord that's already on fire. So yeah, and a load bearing wall. So you still have to have a pole in the middle. Yeah, exactly. We have to put in a beam. A beam. So no, but I liked it. I mean, the kitchen needs updating and everything, but a lot of the stuff that, you know, that I think

that she's probably going to take out is stuff that I think is actually really charming. Yeah, and just the location of it. Oh my God, so pretty. So she's like, well this area is going to be the jail, Jazeal, West Wing. The jail, the Jazeal, West Wing. I'm like, oh God, I do not need Jazeal in the West Wing. No. No. Do not give her an oval office for every hue beauty. So, then she gives everyone these like booties and stuff because they're gonna go walk outside and so there's mud, et cetera. And then they start talking about, they're gonna go to a gala. Robbins like, we have a gala to go to because apparently Katie has invited them to one.

So they're not actually. Hmm. Say, well, you guys have fun. Uh, so they start talking this show. So they're drinking champagne. Robin opens a champagne and it hits just L in the head, which is great. The quirk like slams her in the side of the head. I think that like the bottle. I think actually the bottle overheated because that's how I've had that happen before. I was at a friend's house

and they should have the champagne bottle out in the sun. And so finally I was just like, fuck this shit. And the cork just went flying out. So maybe that's what happened to it. Well, any cork, you know, any cork that hits Jacelle on the side of the head. I'm like, the cork is like, I'm doing it. I'm taking my shot.

You only get one shot on this life. I'm doing it. She's in my crosshairs. And then they're drinking the champagne out of those plastic champagne glasses, but they couldn't find the bottoms. Yeah, they're just the tops. Yeah, wow, this is really like my friends.

Yeah, and so Robin's like, well, if you ever need my input, I can give it, even if you don't want it, my first tip, make sure you bring a hammer and nails. So, Jizelle's like, make sure you take 20 years to do this flip, really, really give it the time it deserves. So, Jizelle's has both, even if I don't agree with it, I want it, and then Ashley goes, that's real friendship, which is like, so then of course that Jizelle's like, well, speaking speaking of which that actually brings me to you Ashley And I wrote L.O.L. and I don't know why I thought that was for the last night because she said yes

Even if I don't agree with you. Oh, yes I want and she's staring right at Ashley and Ashley's just kind of looking at the trees And she's like that's for you Ashley Because you said I'm shady and she acts all offended like just oh come on Yeah myself so as she's like well, I'm shady because they were being mean to me And it's like you were feeding into it with them. She was okay. Okay. Okay. I'll take that I'll take that we had a shady moment when Katie gave us info about Jacob back and I'm like oh Yeah, and then she just launches into more messiness

So she tells Ashley about that weird Jacob story about Michael saying, I want to call you on the private line. And then she's like, oh, and she was also calling you dumb. Which was like, I mean, technically Katie did say that Ashley was stupid or something. But the context was, like, I don't think that she cares. I think she's just stupid. But I don't know.

I think that is like different than saying, you're a dumb person. You know? No, I think that is different than saying you're a dumb person. No, I think she was pretty much saying she's stupid, but still, you run right, you talk her in, you start all this stuff, just like she always does, and then walks away from it in town of tales on everybody else. And so she and Robin are really into it together, as usual, they're both like, yeah, she did, she did, she called you stupid, called you stupid. Yes, she called dumb, and asks, she both like, Yeah, she did. She did. She called you stupid. She called you stupid. Yes, she called you dumb. Yeah. And she's like, she really said that.

I mean, she's been smiling in my face the whole time. And, you know, and Candace said, everybody's been laughing behind my back. And Robyn's like, Nothing isn't the word. Were we giggling with shock while we were eating fruit on the couch? Yes. Were we eating watermelons and going, oh my God, perhaps.

We were. Was one totally turned on when he heard the news, and then we banged like animals, yes, yes. Because we saw a really great sex life, and it's going great, thanks for asking. Yeah, so then of course, then it's start, they start talking about Candace. Candace's text messages to Monique that Monique just up and showed Ashley. So Ashley starts talking, you know, because they brought up Candace,

Ashley's saying like, well, you know, Candace has been texting Monique. And Monique showed me these text messages that Candace was saying, like, was writing, you know, and Ashley's trying to talk about how Candace was saying, like was writing, you know, and Ashley's trying to talk about how Candace was sort of like reveling in all the messiness of the whole situation. But of course. And how long ago when he was been nice is Monique. So she just all has to throw a wrench into that.

Yeah, Jizelle's like, okay, I'm not gonna say I'm for this. Let's turn it on Monique. Cause Jizelle still is mad at Monique from last season when she felt like Monique tried to sabotage like the relationship with Sherman and all that stuff yeah she's mad at her every season and she will never ever let it go yeah so she's like why was she showing you the text messages there friends I mean you thought she was through right under the bus just like that yeah and as she's like well Monique was just saying like these girls minimize everything she's going through and, you know, no one seems to care.

And she's like, oh, she wants me to care, well, I don't. Nah. And Robin's like, yeah, I mean, how do I, how am I supposed to know what she's going through? I'm like, she's pregnant. She's going through pregnancy shit. You know, it's pretty obvious. It's literally, you just look at her

and you know what she's going through. No. So then we go over to Ray and Karen and stuff is burning because Ray's cooking He's like oh god take some 45 minutes to cross from one side of the kitchen to the other She's like, why did you just throw tennis ball at me Ray? Yeah, see food night now come on Ray. Ray. I'm just gonna set the table with a bunch of Circles that look like they're from Giovanni You know what I'm saying? They're sparkly circles cut out from Giovanni samples. Yeah

Something's written so burning burning right burning burning burning. Who did you? Is the fact machine working? Is it smoking again? No? So she's like Brandon cuz branding comes over and that's a shocker because we haven't seen him in a while Yeah, by the way I want to say also that when something was burning we cut to Ray and he has like these pots You just start shaking the pots like Everything's fine. I'm like is that how we put out fires?

It's literally how you make a fire bigger. I know I just like him just like just like clanking pot like I don't think he's ever been making popcorn Great no the ray the fires behind you low. It's the oven mitt the oven mitts It's on the stove ray that's the thing on fire It's like I don't know what's going on to raise mess like tennis balls burning ray Like I thought you were going to swing back. No, Ray. It's not a tennis racket. It's a hand, Ray.

It's a pot. Ray, it's all your fault. So yeah, so it's seafood night. And then so Karen starts pulling crab legs from the stock pot. And so that she almost drops one and she goes, Woohoo! Woohoo! Oh, Ray, this is close. First of fire, and then almost drops a crab like

Oh, I'm another one! Woooow! I could have watched them just trying to cook together and act like they do this all the time, all day. I mean, it was cracking the up. Because look at these shrimp, they're so large, these are special. It's like, great. They're just the ones that come 16 to 21 per pound at the grocery store.

It's a different type of bag. Like Ray has obviously never had to see people, right? I was like, whoa, these strips are crazy. I could also imagine Ray being that person's like, whoa, these shrimp look big. They're so close and it's like, Ray, your glasses are on. I was like, oh, you know, they can look good. They're just shrimp.

He's like, they're shrimp are terrifying. Like Ray, your glasses are on. Oh, you know, they can look like they're just shrimp. He's like this ripper terrifying like Ray. Your glasses on. He's looking with binoculars. Wow, they're so far away. Oh, you're looking to binoculars and you're looking to the wrong side. Yeah. Uh, Rayvins like, oh, sorry. He's like, stabbing her with a fork. He's like, dead. He's playing tennis with crab legs. He's trying to serve with a crab leg. So they sit down. They're going to have a seafood dinner, which they normally do every week. It's family night.

We normally do it every week. But everyone's so busy. Ray with his tennis ball throwing, which he hasn't been able to stop doing. And then there's Rayman. And she knows Macy Gray, who I met on a walk. And then there's Brandon. He was doing something, something hurriedly,

dirtily, I don't know. And then there's me with Ladom. Ladom! Ladom, so busy. So busy with Ladom. Ladom. So they started talking about Ladom, because Raven's like, get a really good job for you, mom.

And so just little baby voice, it's so cute. So, yeah, seeing how it is, and talking about how maybe she should make a cologne for men next, and she's like, well, we did some testing. Ladom, we sprayed some crabs, and it turns out that both men crabs and women crabs both like it's just the same.

So, it's gonna be unisex ladom. If you will. Mm. And Rega as well, we should at least change the name for dudes. And she goes, no, ladom is good, ladom. And Rega is what about Le Homme? And she goes, what? What does that even mean?

What does that even mean, Reg? She's like, I'm glad it's like that means a man. Oh, well, I would, you know, listen, I would understand Karen if she had no idea what Ray was talking about because he was like, La Homme, which first of all, as a former president of the French Club of John G. High School in 1997, you don't use a feminine article to describe a masculine word like man. So if I say La Homme, I feel like my fellow French speakers were probably equally horrified by it. Oh, laham. That's what we added.

Me, Ma, that's every sentence. By the way, you know what this all meant? It meant that there's not enough money in the budget to create new marketing materials and also a new line of fragrance for men. So we'll just make it. How about we just pretend that this is all happening? Actually did her fragrance come out? I'm sure it had a very limited distribution of four bottles for the Higur household. I'll believe it when I smell it.

Then probably fall over. That. So Ray, so basically, so Ray says that the issue should be called law home for the cologne. And he comes like, oh, okay, well, you know, next time, I'll consult you, but I'll consult you, Ray. You know, Ray is just so bossy to work with. It's hard to work with me, so bossy. And Ray is like, let's put it this way. This is from Fresh Material here. I never ever

Got to control the remote Good one Ray. Good one. Yeah. Yeah. So then they start talking about the curse jar Brand is like do you remember when we had a curse jar and then mom would take all the money out of it? She's like well, it was my money. It was like a bank account, which is separate from your father's. You might have heard. What are you trying to say? What are you trying to say? Listen, you have to curse millions to lose millions of the jar and take it back.

So then we go to an Ashley Michael scene. These scenes are so, these two are so phony in their scene lately. And they were asked toe up every time. It's like a really bad, you know, elementary school improv scene. It's like, yeah, it is like a bad elementary school improv scene. I was gonna compare it to just like awkward British drama, but no, that's correct because it's like, they're driving to, they're driving dinner or they're at the dinner, I don't know.

I think they're either way, but Michael's like, oh I'm looking forward to dinner. Let me get the door for you It's like thank you mr. Darby It was very stupid like narrating where they are walking into like we are going to get sushi the crazy romantic spot I'm gonna open this door for my lady who's my wife And we're gonna sit down and rekindle our love that actually never needed rekindling in the first place on account of the rampant heterosexuality that is happening between us. So, so Ash is telling us about talking about how she was working out. Oh yeah, I can tell in that dress. Oh yeah, whatever you did worked.

Yeah, keep it up. I'm so into you. I want to make sure you call me on the private line. My penis is hauled and erect on a count of being aroused by your lady figure and vagina and breasts. Yeah, and she's like, well, it's so good to have blue skies because those gray skies they were seriously gray And she's like, you know, it's quite a lot to track my fertility Taking all these vitamins not drinking eating the right things. I'm like you too

You know, oh my god He's like well tonight. We're definitely gonna do it because I've got a whole direction Looking you in that dress. Whoa that dress wow. I am very looking much forward to Sticking my penis into your vagina and going back and forth as one does when they are extremely aroused like I am right now And will continue to be for the next two to four hours But what if I'm not ovulating? Who cares? The important thing here is that I have an erection with you, my wife,

and that all of this drama has been resolved to our satisfaction. And she goes, yeah, that was really stressful. And he goes, yes, the deals, you know, making sure they go. It was really hard on my business because I had business deals from business people and they were like we want to pause doing business activities until your personal business is resolved and then we could continue with processes and business and contracts. Yeah contract contract business. A reaction. A reaction. I have a manila envelope to show I do business Yeah, he's like I'm a little unhappy with those girls

They really didn't in my opinion understand what we were going through and they take a situation years ago That was in good fun with me grabbing an ass to this situation that was all in good fun with me not grabbing an ass All of it's all of it's in good fun with me not grabbing an ass. All of it's in good fun. There's a lot of good fun to be had, much like the good fun of someone like me having sex with a lady like you in the spirit of heterosexual reality. But they don't seem to understand that. And so then she tells him that she's going to go down to Georgia to see

to try and find her dad. And he's like, yeah, I'm not sure if it's a right thing to do. First of all, you shouldn't go with your mother. Right. And second of all, you shouldn't go with your mother. All right. Like, do not go. He's like, don't do this.

I know. My mother is the only one to go with. I'm doing this for me. For us. For our unborn child. Also, by the way, if she is going on this journey that will most certainly be emotionally unsettling for her, I feel like as her husband, he should go.

The fact that Uncle Jim, who she met all of like, for like 30 seconds, is like willing to go on this journey with her, but like Michael isn't, I think that's actually a little shitty. Yeah, that is actually, I hadn't part of that. Yeah, he really should have, you know, whether this is a fake story or not, which doesn't feel very fake, but like he should have gone.

I mean, who knows, what if the dad was hot? I mean, that's the upside for everyone. Yeah, she should have said, I haven't met him, but I've heard that my dad has a nice butt. He's been like, shotgun. You know what, I want to be there to protect you So then we get another staple of this show the shot of the leaf blower But now it's not only one leaf blower. He's it's one leaf blower holding two leaf blowers Oh my god

Wow this show really knows how to up the ante, right? They're really all. Wow. Wow. They're really. That maybe that explains why I feel like I didn't see any deer this episode because maybe they were like the deer were scared off by the abundance of of the flowers descending upon Potomac. Or they got run over since they're trying to get shots of deer crossing the street now. I mean this shows really trying to up its game. You got to have it credit. Yeah. deer crossing the street now. I mean, this shows really trying to up its game. You got to hand it credit.

Yeah, yeah, I'm excited. I like the leaf blower and I feel like the leaf blower is overlooked in the shadow of the deer. Yeah. So Ashley is doing her yoga at home and talking about her dad. She calls her Aunt Sheila who is by the way, that's a lot for us to handle. That she has an aunt Sheila and she has a mom named Sheila It's no wonder why she married an Australian guy because he probably is always talking about like I like that Sheila That's a nice Sheila. I like that's a good Sheila. She's like, oh my god reminds me of childhood

Yeah, and she's like, well, I know I haven't seen you in a few years like actually. It's been since 2009 It's like oh yeah, well wow, it sure is great to talk to you and Sheila they will be great coming to see my dad and she's like yeah you know when you tried to make contact and that what an acknowledged you know you can't really force people to talk to you and she's like what a bit yeah! I've got a camera crew! Yeah, but apparently the dad hasn't spoken to Aunt Sheila either since 2011, so there's all sorts of dysfunction happening. Yeah, that dad's just cutting everybody off.

Yeah, yeah. So, so either way, so Aunt Sheila is going to help Ashley. So now we go over to Monique's house, and we see this ridiculous painting of Chris and Monique and it's basically it's like they're both naked and he is like nestled on her bosom and she's got her arms wrapped around his head and they both have their eyes closed. I'm like I don't even I don't know what the inspiration for this was. I don't know why it was made. I don't know who did this. I don't know what like this. I don't know why it was made I don't know who did this I don't know what like this I don't know if I love this piece of art or hate it but it is it is like if if if a hundred years from a 200 years a thousand years from now like society is like digging through tombs and finds this painting I just I'm worried about what they'll think of us. Yeah, our history. Yeah. Oh my god, this picture was amazing.

So she's basically like, I'm about to pop. I'm exhausted. And I just did a full face of makeup and hair with five people to do the scene and be walking at the stairs. So let's make it into something people. Yeah, so she's like,'s gonna try to go up the stairs very pregnant and Chris is like why don't you use the elevator and Monique in the span of like 10 minutes to meet up two steps she's just like I'm already up two

steps which I thought was so funny because that would so be me like listen I'm already up two step it's like already like 15 more to go. It's like, no, I can't go back. I've gone up to steps. It's too late. I've committed to this path in life. So he's pushing her butt up the stairs. And he's like, kids, I gotta push mommy's dump truck up the steps. Oh, and then she's basically like, you know,

we need to do some planning. We're not doing any planning for this baby. This baby is about to come any second. I don't know. I mean, if my water breaks, I'm gonna have this baby wherever the water breaks. I don't know what they're doing. What are we gonna do with this baby?

Yeah. And then boom, boom, boom. Chris, Chris. And they've been showing us this clip all season of her screaming for Chris. But guys, it was just a joke. Well, this was funny because she's like, Chris, my water broke, my water broke,

and Chris is in the bathroom, like brushing the kid's teeth. And she's like, hurry, Chris, hurry. And he is so slow, he's like, what? My water broke. Huh? My Chris, move, he's like, okay. Hey Hey Manique, did you call me? I'm like oh my god I was like going nuts because at this point I thought she had water really had broken and he is oh he moves so slowly But it turns out she was just kidding and then we get clips of her pouring water all over herself on the floor

And she goes the whole point of this is that we don't have a plan, okay? I'm gonna pack my bag this week. He's like pack it now, please Celebrity beef you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellaside. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder e's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build up, why it happened,

and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it

is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. You lost like a vampire. I also like the one she said, my water broke, he goes, oh lord. And he by the way, he calls 911 and she's like, oh, oh, she goes, oh, I'm, she's like, Chris, I didn't realize reaction to call 911. I'm like, you just pretended to have a medical emergency and you are pregnant. Of course, he's going to do that.

She thought that she was like, I thought you were going to call 911 much more slowly, Chris. Yeah. Since when do you move that quickly? Yeah. She's like, I thought by now, you were just starting the process of moving your finger towards the first one. So let's go over to the color. Wait, by the way, we should also mention during this point that we also got Monique's new interview look, which was sort of like a Wonder Woman, Shere, Shira, I don't know what it was, but did you notice that? Yeah, it was her superwoman. It was intense.

Yeah, yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot, but it's good, and she's committed. And her club squad is doing a very good job. Yeah, I feel like I always do. Yeah, I feel like in, you know, that's how you know you've arrived on a real house. So I've shown is that like when you do your pick up interviews, like midway or three quarters the way through the season, you decide to do some crazy ass look. Remember Teresa, did you guys did it when she had her hair big and like feathers on her

shoulders? Yeah. The Mona's done it. Like everyone has a moment where they decide I want my hair as big as possible, and some strange accessories. Yeah. So let's go over to the gala. Oh, Candace and her mother arrive. Candace is wearing peach,

and her mother is wearing like some maroon, and I'm like, oh my god, you even clashed the way you dress clashes. Yeah. And Dorothy has that crazy look on her face. You know, when she starts to look like that, that thing that Bowser, that in Super Mario World, that thing that Bowser flies around in

or Bowser Jr. She starts to look like that, like, ah, I'm like, oh, she's about to yell at Candace. I know, she shows up already, ready to go. Yeah. And so Candace is like, you're only allowed to have two drinks, mother. She's like, haha. And you's like, ha ha ha ha.

And you know that her mother's just going to get wasted and start some shit. Exactly. Got my fingers crossed. So, Jizzell shows up and then Jizzell and Candace and Dorothy start making a small talk about Dr. Ken and the therapy. And she's like, so what is it working? And Dorothy's like, yeah, but Candace is still a brat. I'm like, hmm, don't think that was what you're supposed to say from therapy.

And then but Jacelle, Jacelle goes, well, Mom, you created the brat. I was like, thank you. Thank you. Yes. And the mom's like, that's true. So, Jacelle's like, clearly therapy has not helped Dorothy at all. So then Robin comes and we see Katie in the background walking around with her, you know, Ryan Veeath or whatever Tamra Sun's name is on Orange County. She's watching around with him in the background. Yeah. And so then Robin and Jazell and Candace are all standing there and they're like, what is this gala for?

Does anyone know what this actually is? What this charity is for? Like, we don't know. We're just here for the free food. Yeah, the consultant for children, for feeding children. Yeah. So, Katie and her mom, Renthea, walk over, and so, Renthea meets Candace and Dorothy,

and she's like, oh my God, you guys look just alike. And Dorothy's response is, well, we're in therapy now, you know, she's setting boundaries with me. Ha ha ha. Like, I'm really, it's like, oh yeah, I can talk to you about boundaries. So they bond ever hating their children, you know, which is, I mean, is there a stronger bond

in bitching about your kids? It's funny, because when Dorothy said that at first, I'm like, okay, that's a really extra response to just like a casual like, you know, polite statement, but then I realized, oh no, these moms need to let it out right now. Okay, they get it. They get each other. And Candace is like, well I'm glad they're spending time together. They have very similar energies. They're their own kind of crazy. And then it cuts to Dorothy going, we created monsters and Ritia's like, yes, yes we did. And Katie turns the candle and says, girl,

we're gonna have to start paying our own mortgages and everything. So Robin and Jacelle and Katie and Candace are all talking and Jacelle's like, so what is this for? What do we hear for? And Katie's like, oh, it's my mom. She's the executive director of something or other feeding children.

I don't know. She's like, oh, my mom is friends with the director of this gala. So I'm like, got it. Katie, I have no idea either. Yeah. So, and by the way, and Katie didn't invite Ashley, as you had mentioned earlier, and so when they said that,

did you remember to invite Ashley, she goes, I might have forgotten. I'm sorry, I was just, I was in church. I just, so much on my mind, I just forgot. So Robyn's like, well, Katie told us what you said about Michael's comment, Jacob. And Jacob's like, yeah, seriously, like he said, why do you have all these phones?

And I said, I, and this answers our question from last week. So it's like, how does this make any sense? So he said he does have multiple phones, and but he always answers the business phone first. So Michael said, well, when I call, you better promise to pick up that phone. Yes, yeah, it's like, if I have a call and you have another call on your business phone,

you will answer it for me. I'm like, I still am sort of confused how like that is gonna, like goes into the evidence file of Michael being sort of gay, you know? Like I don't totally understand that one. Yeah, this is gay panic, gay panic. It's a homosexuality. I just feel like we have,

we have like really good evidence, you know? But I feel like that is like not the strongest. I would not lead with the phone conspiracy. Yeah. You know. Yeah. So Jacob's like, I was like, no, man. Something just like Michael is just so Michael.

Do I believe Jacob? Yes. Do I believe the cameraman? Yes. Do I believe the cameraman? Yes. Yeah. Do I believe the penis comment? Yes. So Katie's kind of like, well, you know, of course she's not going to. Of course Asher's going to look the other way because what does she have without Michael?

You know, she doesn't even have the restaurant anymore and they're like, the restaurant, no, like she shouldn't sell the restaurant. It's like, oh, it's already sold or whatever. I'm like, I guarantee Oz was not, it was not like, not the crown jewel in Ash's life, you know? Yeah, I don't know that it's sold. I think it just closed. Who knows?

Who knows? I can't believe it. I can't believe more people in the tri-state area of DC did not flock to Oz. Yeah. I mean, who doesn't want a little kangaroo meat? I know. So the waiter comes up to give them drinks,

and Rob is like, um, you're late. Like, really, really late. Yeah. I wonder why Robin said that. Like, who says that to a waiter? Because I think they had to go get their own drinks. And she's like, thanks a lot. Thanks for nothing, buddy.

So Canvas is like, where's Monique? I brought her a gift, you know, because she said she can't fit her booty in her dresses, you know, and I know she, and so she's like, oh, well, actually speaking of her, we have some tea to share from your best friend. Yeah, so Mava, anybody's being nice to Monique. Yeah, and Jizelle's only too happy

to turn Candice against Monique. So yeah, she's like, yeah, to Monique. Yeah, and just else only too happy to turn Candace against Monique So yeah, she's like yeah, basically Monique showed your text to Ashley and threw you right under the bus right under the bus You just right into the bus right? You can probably just see like Dorothy just like cheering like yes, yes, throw under the bus And Candace is like how do you know this and Robbins like she told us okay? She wants to show how innocent she is and show that you're the devil Candice is like I am shocked do I believe it? I don't want to but if it's true, I feel betrayed Like so you know Monique he was getting caught in this you know getting mad at somebody then saying something to making up with that person But I just I just feel like women do all this shit.

It's just, I mean, I don't think what Monique was doing is anything really too terrible, but these women will always take an opportunity to be a huge victim about some social injustice that was committed on their behalf. And she's like, well, I need you to check your friends because you have wrote hard for her, okay? And then she went, bloop, right over the cliff.

Yeah. And again, this all is just like stems back to Jizzel, not liking Monique. And Jizzel has like a new grudge, which is that I guess Monique told said that Jizzel doesn't like listen to her problems or something like that in New Orleans. There's some new wrinkle to the typical Giselle list of complaints. Yes, I was looking for the actual tweets and I don't want to like search this while we're talking,

but I was reading L Twitter last night and Monique was saying, oh really, she loves going off about everyone else's business in their life. My podcast is doing just fine. And that's really nice coming from someone who doesn't even use their own product. And someone says, what do you mean? She doesn't use every hue, beauty, or whatever. And Monique said, I guess not because her face doesn't match

her neck. And I was like, oh! That's good. She called her on her priv face. Wow, that's really good. So now we go back to Ashley, who's headed to Atlanta with Sheila, and she's like all nervous. And she flies down there and then she's like in a car with her mom and talking about how she was like, you know,

afraid of being rejected, but she wasn't scared enough to knock it on the plane, et cetera, et cetera. And so they meet up with Aunt Sheila and Uncle Jim. And by the way, Aunt Sheila was like, what I loved about Aunt Sheila is that she looked to me like a homely version of Diane Weist. So immediately, I thought,

Oh my gosh, she did look like Diane Weas. Like a blonde Diane Weas. Yeah, it was almost like if the mom from Edward Sizzler Hands got to age for like 20 years, it's Antsheela. She's like, oh sweetie, you know, it's not that your father doesn't want to see you. It's just that he's been banished to a castle in the edge of town and he's just been making it snow

for us for a few years. That's all Did you notice in the interstitial stuff that instead of dough they had ducks going with the music and the duck Music goes like bomb bomb bomb and they like freeze frame on the ducks of the three beats Good, I love like a duck like an onbeat duck moment. Yeah, it really was. So yeah, so she is with her aunt and uncle and you know, she's really playing it up Ashley and this whole thing is just so sad. You know, and the uncle is like, well, look, I think your mom did the right thing by keeping

him away from you because 20 years ago He had some demons running around in him and yeah, I don't know if it's a good idea for you to for you to see him But they support her nonetheless or at least you know, they look like they really don't want to They're just sort of giving that like aunt Sheila's giving Ashley that blank smile That's like I'm a smile because I'm a lady and I'm on camera right now, but I am skipping Bingo for this. All right, and I am not happy about it.

Yeah, you, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years. So, you're paying for this, right? Ashley goes. Am I paying for this love stir roller, are you? Yeah, exactly. Ashley goes, you know, even when I speak to him the full Manchilla, I just, I feel such warmth and sincerity.

Like, that's my aunt. I feel that. And Anchilla just stairs it her and it's just like, I feel that too. Me too. You know what I feel? French fries going down my goal. You're paying for this right? No, I'm feeling can we get a refill on this Coca-Cola? Thank you. Oh, that was so kind of you to offer a pay for that, Ashley. So kind. So, um, God, we go from like laughing to like the most depressing. Right. This is yeah. So yeah, Ashley's like, well, when I put myself in his shoes, I'm thinking that his shame in abandoning me is so much that he can't see me, you know. So then she gets in the car with her mom and she's like, oh my God, you

know, I just, I'm just imagining how it's gonna go. Like, Aunt Sheila can be the one to knock, so he doesn't see it's me, it refused to open the door. And then when he opens the door, I'm gonna say, hi, I'm your daughter, and we'll just see where it goes from there. I'll go.

Yeah. I'm just imagining that her dad's gonna open the door. It's gonna be Michael with like a fake mustache on. Hello, Duelta. He's like, listen, I don't appreciate the things people have said about me. Right. Wouldn't it be funny if her dad was Kenya's dad and then Ashes mom Sheila is actually Kenya's mom.

Oh my God, the biggest twist ever. That would be an amazing twist. But yeah, this is so fucking depressing so it's very very compelling television i thought so she's driving uh... she's driving over the worth of mom and they're getting more excited is you know they get closer and closer and then they arrive and uh... she let goes to the door with them

and actually gets up the nerve to go up to the door and then yeah it was actually i thought very sweet that they, that they all, like, gathered around her. That was, like, a really... that was a really supportive thing. And especially for, like, Aunt Sheila and Uncle Jim, who, like, haven't seen their niece in years and years, and they were, like, they could have very easily been, like, uh, we don't want to cause chaos, but, you know, it was nice and I was... I was invested and I'm really, really intrigued to see what's going to happen because for next week, it looks like he opens the door, but we don't know where it goes from there.

Yeah, so we'll find out next week. Everybody, that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Potomac. Thanks so much for being with us later on today. We will have a recap of Real, I mean, Southern Charm Door, how we do that? Southern Charm Door, Orleans. So come do that. This week we move our bonus episodes to Wednesdays and we're going to do a house hunters go to Destin episode to celebrate the weekend. Destin Bravo. Yes. Destin Nation wedding. Join us for that. Go to watch our crap and for ticket links, shirt links, patreon links, blah blah, all that good stuff.

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