Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC: Dirndl If You Do, Dirndl If You Don't

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

This week on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the women grapple with CRYPTIC COMMENTS about Mary, all while enjoying raclette and mini dietetic 'smores.Watch our recap with Crappens on Demand here:  https://www.patreon.com/posts/59022322See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is a man who loves a cryptic message. It's Mr. Ronnie Kerr.

I'm Hi, Ronnie. Hi. Sorry, my little speaker fell off my computer and I'm messing with it. I'm going to put it on the, I'm just going to let it dangle in front of an awkward start. What an awkward start to the episode. The half-fitting right to the dangling speaker. That's how Salt Lake City begins. Can't wait a little bit of varying awkward and cramped,

Dr. Massa. You know what? How's she spelt because? How's it like that? Yeah, it's the smoking because, okay. Salt Lake City continues to deliver so many wonderful things and it is so good and we're talking about it today. We're also doing crap and on demand. So go to patreon.com slash watch or crap and then you can see our faces.

I have not cut my hair. And so you can watch us, you don't have to just listen to us. I highly recommend it because there's usually a Bueller cameo. That's Ronnie's dog. And also guys go to watchyourcrapids.com and get tickets to the live shows. We're going all around the country. I will say I looked at the map for a New York City show.

Ronnie, we have like 40 tickets left. So if you are interested in the Golden Crap, there's literally 40 tickets left. And that's it. So, but don't worry, we're going to lots of other places. We're going to Boston that same weekend. We're going to Philadelphia, DC, like, you know, a million places. So watch our crappies.com, go get a ticket.

We want to see you. We don't want you to feel like you're missing out. We want everyone to be part of this experience. It's gonna be a great time. Okay, you know what? It's gonna be a great time. You're gonna talk like Michael Joseph's right now just because it's fun to do it.

Okay, okay. Ronnie, how are you? Hi, it's gonna be great time. We're gonna talk like Michael Joseph's right now, just cause it's fun to do it, okay? Okay, Ronnie, how are you? Hi, I'm great. This is our Friday, basically. We are here on our last day before Thanksgiving break. Now, we're gonna be here with you in your ears all week because we've got real housewives. Girls trip, we've got two episodes today. We've got two episodes, a girls trip,

and we've got a bonus episode. So we're still gonna have a full week here, but today this is it. And tonight we're gonna be doing take a seat over on Spotify Green Room, just download the Green Room app. It's free. Hi.

Follow take a seat and Ben Bambleker. And you'll find us. We could do that at 7 p.m. Central and 10 p.m. Eastern time. We just talk a lot of poo. Basically you guys talk, we talk, we all talk to get that guy. So come join us for that. So then after that, we're off.

We're out of here. I'm like ready to make some. I'm making something wonderful every day this week. Well, thanks, Kevin. I'm gonna try something new with my Thanksgiving, Turkey. I'm just gonna put a bunch of melted reclit on it and see how that plays. You know, I think after this episode, it's just gonna be, you know what I'm just gonna put a bunch of melted racquet on it and see how that plays. You know, I think after this episode,

it's just gonna be, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm just gonna put newspapers on my table and then cover the entire thing with melted racquet. That is gonna be my Thanksgiving. And we just dip turkey and stuffing in it and whatever else needs to go in it because I'm now committed to a racquet lifestyle after watching this.

Oh, and I wanna also say one other thing, which is that we are We are gonna go enjoy a week off and that means that the winter house season finale Will not be up this week and neither will girls trip episode four, but But winter house will be up next Monday or so, so it will come just a little later than usual. That's all. Yeah or so. So it will come just a little later than usual. That's all. Yeah. Um, so let's get to it everybody. Okay. I was driving Carpool with my children. That's what I'm saying to everything I'm getting called out. That's my response to everything

I get called out on lightly. I was driving Carpool with my children. You're gonna have to say that a lot this week. I feel like this is a week with a lot of family. And so there can be a lot of asks. And I think just whatever it is, like Ronnie, did you pick up the stuffing? I was driving Carp with my children. Also, I wanna point out something else. I feel like we've never really discussed this,

but it's something that I notice every single week. Okay, Lisa Barlow, when she does her line, but it's something that I notice every single week, okay? Lisa Barlow, when she does her line, she doesn't have any dramatic pause in it. Have you noticed that with her tagline? He always goes, what is it? She's like, I don't need a lot. I got to, she just sort of like says it

in one big, I forget what her line is right now, but she just sort of says it. You have to love me because I have enough. I love myself enough for the both of us. Yeah, that's what it is. So normally you would say, you don't have to love me because I have enough love for both of us. But she's like, you don't have to love me

because I've got enough for both of us. And it's like, whoa. And the reason why I mention that is because that also like goes, it extends to her saying previously on the real housewives because normally go previously on the real housewives and saw it like city and she goes, previous to have the real housewives because normally go previously on the real housewives in Salt Lake City and she goes, previous they have their real housewives, I just thought of likes that, hey?

You're like, whoa, Lisa. Take. Poses. You know, they're like Lisa, we have to record your line today. You know what, I've got very many, I've got so many business ads. Just do a pass, okay? Hold on, my lawyer is calling. Hello, Sarah, I've got Jonathan on the other line.

Jonathan, I don't care if you love me. Okay, I've got enough left for the both of us. So I print, just use that. Just use that. I love myself enough for the both of us. Just use whatever she just said to her lawyer on the phone. Okay. Yeah, her just, it's just her cadence is hilarious to me.

So last week was this like 24, ble it was like a time thing on screen. And then we would just get like kind of horror music as we came into the scenes. This week they dropped that and we're just getting horror piano. But you know, the horror piano was very nice because I like thinking of Trixie, like just with a cigarette dangling out of her mouth, you know, doing a little CD-D-E or a piano. But, you know, I do appreciate some consistency guys. So if we're gonna be working on titles, you need to have team A, work with team B, and get together, because I can't have titles

like that one week and then the next week, I'm just left in the air with a little tinkle piano. Okay, oh man, I need consistency. It's hard, because you get expectations, and then those expectations aren't met, you know, and at least disappointment. And we don't need that in our lives. We have enough going on. See the number.

I'm going to see the number and like the little images behind the number and then the TV's, you know, fuzzing out or whatever. So we get horror piano and Jenny at least has just said, oh, but I think I know what she got out of the Uber Heather and Jenny's like, oh, so you think that she's moving up with another guy, just say that. And she's like, well, I don't know what happened that night, but I've no, and I have no idea what happened that night.

I have no idea, but I will say that if there was a man who she met up with, that's something that could have happened. But I have no idea, but I will say that if there was a man who she met up with, that's something that could have happened, but I have no idea. I have no idea whatsoever. Yeah, and Whitney's like, but if we do not share what we know, we are in danger. Okay, Whitney, I love this. I know. I know.

We are in danger. Whitney is acting like she's hiding in a closet looking up a little slit, you know, from in the door. It's like we are in danger. If we don't know about it, this telemarketing scheme, I was garpling my children. She's going to use this also for like any time she wants gossip. She's going to say, if you don't give her the gossip, she is literally going to pull the danger card.

She's like, I need to know what sort of snapple she bought at the convenience store. Because if we don't know these things, we are in danger. So Mary is just like, no, raw fish. I can't, the fish gave birth to other fish in my stomach. Raw fish. And then Lisa's like, I just, I feel I feel so just saved like I'm just saying I feel so just like I'm just something that she

has to do everything she has I don't know she has like I have no idea how she has to complete the different person that I think and I just like I was just like she was reading with somebody and she got out of a new, she got out of a new bar. She got out of a new bar. And Meredith is drunk and has been,

she's also dehydrated from sitting in a bathtub all day. She's basically marinated. She's just, she's practically purple. She's like, Cocoa vend herself. And she's like, well, she's, maa, maa, maa, maa, maa, maa. She's like, her head was just fully teetering around. So Heather's like, you know, when I saw Jen getting out of the uber, I assumed she just Like, her head was like fully teetering around.

So Heather's like, you know, when I saw Jen getting out of the uber, I assumed she just didn't want me to know who was picking her up, but I never considered it as a scandalous as another man. I mean, and if Lisa knows who it is, she, it seems like a pretty big accusation. So like, why wouldn't you just tell us? And Lisa's like, I just, she, I do it that she, I do it that she, I do it that she, who it that? Who did you just tell us? And Lisa's like, I just said she's not doing that she has, she's not doing that. Who did you think she was? I love that everybody's acting like Jen had this huge act on that she wasn't a horrible fucking human being.

Jen has been nothing but a horrible human being and I don't believe that any of you were surprised. But Lisa's the best thing about it is that Lisa isn't crying at all. She's just doing the housewife thing of taking her fingers and shoving them under her eyes and pressing them. And the eye balls are gonna pop out. She's just trying to make tears come. But it's not really. I think that she's just looking for an excuse to distance herself from Jen.

I think that she's actually been waiting for that. And so now she's like, Oh my God, the other day, I lent her a paperclip, and she never gave a buck. And I'm like, I feel so deceived. Who is this person? I- the person that I thought I knew who would give paperclubs back. It's not her at all.

I don't think I can be friends with her anymore. I don't think so. Err. Err. So Meredith comes behind during sits on her lap and brings her a fresh glass of Kurez from the Christchrist Cresque. Kurez, Kurezane from the Christ the Christ Chris Kurozane founding and she's like, I know I know tell mama all about it. Who hurt my child? And Lisa's like, I feel so sorry. She's like, I can't

cover up. Okay, the Reno tacoco Shout, the Reno Tonco Shout, the world will always shout, the Reno Tonco. Yeah. That's my favorite nursery rhyme. Fresh burrito. So then Jenny is like, okay, so I don't know, I know you don't want to say certain things

that are like out of line, but like we're all in this and she's not here, so we need to know, girls, it's my first vacation, I need you to get me the gossip, okay, come on, I need to have a senior. Yeah, basically, and everyone's getting themselves help her work definitely just cuts to Mary. He's like, ow!

Cause she had the chip wrong. And she's like looking at that chip, like she's gonna make it mortgage its chip house. She's so mad, but then she also have that look like fuck this chip. I think I'm gonna keep eating it. And like that resignation. Yeah, and then Jenny continues to yell because we feel betrayed. Okay, you're officially doing too much now. Sit back, found it. You're five minutes, ma'am. At least it's like, I feel betrayed. I think we all feel betrayed. I feel like she has a double-off.

Okay, it's like you're both fresh wolf on fresh coyote. Okay, and I was like rooting for her and over the past couple of weeks when I was asked about like, BOOM! That's my version of beeping. I had her kids photo shoot. It like, I set her off

and then like, we ended up hugging it. I hope but didn't end well. No, because you're some fresh content, okay? Guess what? No, as soon as I got on the car, I thought to get all this like, fuck you, you're not my fucking friend. Like my kids are in my car.

They're like in the presence of a text message, okay? Then I could have read because spelled B, C, U, Z, what is interesting, that you're way of spelling it. Okay, my kids were near the, ah. Where are you carpooling them? Hi, I was oh my god. I totally get it. We share trauma Six so you guys have gotten where to talk to me And when he's like yes, I have The vernacular was a little bizarre and

Heather's like um did it sound like the ones that I got because I sent you the ones that I got and when he's like, um, did it sound like the ones that I got? Because I sent you the ones that I got. And when he's like, I got some too. And Whitney Q's trying to join them on this conversation, but like no one's listening to it. You know? And so, my aunt said, I got a weird text message that said, I was very, I was in a very zone, and that I owed my $84 for the month to be in this very something zone.

Now, that's actually just Verizon, just texting you saying your bill is ready. Oh, I was uncarpul. I was in car with carpooling my children. And Mary Meredith is like, well all the types of my decisions are very similar. They're attacking me on point babies. And Lisa's like, well, you know what? Last year after backarts, John thought very traumatized. I remember the same time I received some text messages. I didn't much relate to serving, but when I said after back,

what the way it caused was spout, because VCUZ grew up, so it's because, like this, on the side. It was almost as bad as one thumbs up in a tax massage, okay? And then we see the text message and it says receipts coming in.

Racism is real. You can't hide because you and your friends think you're better than everyone. It's all coming out. I don't know what that was. I don't know if because was necessarily an indictment, but then it got it is Jen and her whole thing does take place. It's like crimes over the phone. So I mean, Lisa does have a decent case. Well, that's how they get you. You know, I watch a lot of spy shows and mystery shows

and stuff. And they always get and obviously so does Lisa because that's always how they get people on these shows. It's like, but he miss spells the he puts the e before the age in every in every dexterity since he must be the kid. Oh my god. Get it. So then Jenny's like, so why is this connected to Jen exactly and married. It's like Jenny. All right. I hired a prime mother. I'minator, I'm jammed. Everyone's like, what? Yeah. Well, my newborn child was being threatened,

and I thought the investigator thought it was extraordinarily likely that it was coming from Jen. In fact, we looked at Brooks' crib, and there it was, a security camera with a feed directly to Jen and the campaign headquarters and she denied and said she wasn't a crook, but then it all came out on the tapes. Oh, either way, it still works. I am not a brox. So first of all, you have a terrible private investigator because if I paid somebody money and they told me it was very likely that it was coming from Jen, no, you better get some

records. The hell kind of private investigator is that first of all fire them. Who said? Yeah. And with the investigator, it's wink and a Walmart tracksuit with his name ironed up the seams because that's why I think fire them. Who says? Yeah. And was the investigator at Wink in a Walmart tracksuit with his name ironed up the seams? Because that's why I think that investigator won. Hi, mother. This is Koshie.

Mom. Mother, this is Koshie. He works at Starbucks, but he also couldn't Google well. And he said he would look into Gen shot. Oh, good. I need a private investigator. Koshie going at it. They just had someone come at this Starbucks.

I'm hooked to name BCUZ on their come. Oh my god. That's the one. I'm telling you God. I asked Koshi if he was looking and he got it all wrong. It was very awkward encounter at my doorway. His twin sister, Kashi's a real bitch. Every time I ask her something, she just sets the eight hour. So Whitney's like, I have never had a friend hire a private investigator on another friend. Like, what the fuck? But that's only because I don't have time to do that because I'm driving couple. So Meredith is like, Hello,

what's the mean? What's your nervous? I love when she pulls out the Jennifer Shaw when she's when Meredith is mad. He just totally is like, I'm going to use a full name for full dramatic impact. Jennifer Shaq, she's your right pentathlon, Jennifer Shaq. So Jenny is like,

So Jenny is like, Well, I liked her for her smett because I've just, I feel like I connect with her because we're minorities and like she understands that I've been misunderstood. And Lisa's like, Yeah, you know what? I love that part of her too.

I love minorities. You know what? Like if you don't have enough votes and you're in the minority party, I'm voting for it. My favorite movie is Minority Report. I love Minorities. I love Minorities on reports. I love them both.

So Johnny goes, but that's for another day. Minor, listen, I love Judaism behind, but I keep Monoras with me. Okay. Also, I love Melora Hardin. Thought she should have gone farther and dancing with the stars. Menoraz or minority catalogers.

So I like those, I support those. So Jenny is like, it's just, you know, it's a lot today. And we can't say, oh, she's getting arrested. We're gonna leave, we're gonna go like leave her on the sidelines like, what am I gonna do when she comes around? Like, what would you do when she comes around? Like Jenny is just trying to figure out, like, basically, what are we gonna say when she comes around? Like, what would you do when she comes around? Like Jenny is just trying to figure out,

like, basically, what are we gonna say when she shows up? We're gonna act cool or whatever, or like, also we can't just like throw her to the wolves, you know? And she feels awkward that they're just like full on abandoning her, abandoning Jen, like at the moment that she receives very strong federal indictments and charges

and looks like she's going to jail for 30 years. She just can't believe everyone just would abandon her right away. Yeah, and Heather's like, well, I'm gonna help her. I will 100% help her. I married this, I was like, I'm here, I'm here, you know what? Am I nodding or am I trying to scratch my collarbone

with my chin? I don't know, no one's having work coming out. Two burns with one sound. So then Heather goes, she is my friend, and for better or worse, when things like this happen, people use that as an excuse to scatter and to absorb themselves of you. And I think the only value to friendship is when you're down.

I'm like, maybe, but also this whole for better or for worse, that's for marriage. It's not for friendship, necessarily. Like, yes, I do want to be there for my friends when they are, when they're down, and I hope they're there for me when I'm down too. But I also think if someone's been really toxic, and then it turns out not only are they really toxic, but they also are like defrauding people. I mean, that's a pretty, I don't know, I think that's a, that's a moment where I think you may be making exceptions to the premise. Yeah. It's like when you're like kicking in the head, the most vulnerable in society, it's

okay, Heather, okay. But Heather, I think, is doing that thing where she's, because her whole thing this year is I used to be a judgmental bitch, but now I'm not a judgmental bitch. Well, listen, as a judgmental bitch, that does not just go away, okay? You cannot pray that away. So I think probably in trying to fix it, she's just going to be accepting of everything now. Yeah. You know, there can be a middle ground, I think.

And she's also been in pariah recently with her own community. So she's trying to show empathy, which I understand. So Heather's like, yeah, she even says, like, you know, her Mormon upbringing would shun the center and have a moral superiority, but she's like, I don't have a moral superiority. And when the rest of the world walks out, I want to walk in.

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So Meredith is like, so are you going to have some of our overwhelming energy is probably going to be a present for about 90,000 year. It's like, I will visit her in prison for sure. Guards. Well, all right, again, are you you gonna do the Susan Sarandon fingers on the glass moment?

Because if you don't do that, there's no point visiting someone in prison. You need to have that moment to really be a good visitor. Am I right, everyone? I've got it all planned out. How about dead maples? Miles are wrong film. Wrong film.

That's, I think that Jennifer Shaw would not appreciate you rubbing apples in her face when she has no access to any sort of computer really. So Lisa's like why would I skip that? Because I know I've been a good friend to Jen except for that time I brought that designer up on TV to make her look stupid. And I know that I've been confessed to that. And I know that I've been fat for her. But what part does it got from being a good friend to just being fucking stupid? What part?

And then there's like, Lisa said it. Ah. Yeah. And then there's like, well, what is the fear in reaching out when we were friends with her and knowing all these toxic things six hours ago, she's kind of like, listen, she was always awful

and she was always toxic, but we were friends with her and the only thing that's changed is just like, I don't know, like getting arrested by Homeland Security and the feds and NYPD, but like, what else could really have changed, you know? And we talked about my hundreds of my new tissues rolling through our asses,

and my footballs are gonna be like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm not going to go off the rails. Real quick, no reason. At what point do you say enough isn't I? Am I right? How many toddlers need to be terrorized about conversations they don't even have when their mother is on account of the fact that the only words they can say are goo goo and Gaga. And Lisa's like, I'm with her. And Heather says, well, I thought you were on it like, like, like, upper trend with her. I thought you wanted upper trend with her. I married it's like, well, that does not mean I have to have a friendship

with her. We're not friends. We're zero. All right. you have to have trust me I gave chance those are she's continuously abused me curious me I'm slapping him a face why why when I show off you tell me I'm still working on rhyming the third items in a list that's very very hard, it turns out. I don't even know what kind of things. I'm a man, surely bad man, bad man. I've tried, I've cried, and I can't figure it out.

So how there's like, yeah, but if Jen Shaw is ever going to change or become the person that she can be on Mary goes, which is cool. And as she goes, well, I mean, now would be the most pivotal time because she has trips of everything that has defined her. And Mary goes, I've never seen potential in Jen. I've never seen good in Jen. Oh, I'm gonna go there.

Okay. I always knew there was some sort of scandal. I'm clear on good in Jen. Oh, I'm gonna go there. Okay. I always knew there was some sort of scandal I'm clear on who she was like Mary the Mary the the really just stepping up as a religious leader right now. Yeah, no, I never saw I think good Yeah, I know she was shit. Yeah And Whitney's like well, I don't know what to make of it. It is crazy. I don't know where I stand, but I know this line Okay, okay it. It is crazy. I don't know where I stand. But I know this line. Okay. Okay. Jen owes it to every single one of us to tell us the truth about what she has been up to. And Mary's like color. Color. Color right now. Color. Color otherwise we will be in danger.

So then Heather is like, oh, I'm going to cause you go straight to voice mail and it goes, that's what happens. It goes right to voice mail in America's. I think I need to make something very clear to every single one of you because this is very important to me. I have been extraordinarily tolerant and I have been above and beyond giving the benefit on the down and it is Finished we are done. I want none and I feel like I'm having now a lot of Salad for dinner. I couldn't I sorry. I couldn't land it. I couldn't figure out that third word I couldn't I sorry I couldn't land it I couldn't figure out that third word Now if she and fact were

Pee-me-ling the Fron and Ray Pond and rebuke to the elder one I am utterly She shrugs and then she tells them she will not have Jennifer in her presence. I don't want to remember. I don't want to remember. Home and I do not want her around my toddler. Not without my baby. It's based off of me trying to avoid Jennifer, I think. So yeah, she basically is like, no.

And then she goes So yeah, she basically is like, no, and then she goes, uh, yeah, actually Meredith also says, if in fact, she repeatedly defrauded the elderly, I am utterly revolted. That is it. I am. I like that this is, these are like sentences that are being said about other castamates on Bravo. You know, if she repeatedly did Broadway, we're not friends anymore. Like, just the concept of that sentence is hilarious. Yeah. So she tells them all,

if you're gonna invite Jen to not invite me and she's just done this 10-minute monologue, you know? And then the music goes, don't, don't, don't, don't. Like, it's about to go to commercial. I'm very just goes, few. I'm gonna say, I'm a lying, denying, and chairs. God, it's so hard.

Couple your children, that rhymes. So the next morning, Heather is just that person who goes in everybody's room and starts opening the drapes with. Full mom mode. Heather Thompson and mom mode. Yeah. Yes, Heather Thompson, that's true. It's a Heather thing I guess, opening those drapes.

And do we, who still died to me, calls Jenny and he's like, Hey, miss you, honey. And she's like, I'm with the other ladies. And you know, there's a lot of anger hurt and betrayal over here, do we? And he's like, well, you know what they say? There's always three sides to a story. Can you drop your fucking three? Yeah, you're your sister wife does not have a say in this either. Do we stop trying to stop trying to run this into the ground sir? There's her side. There's the homeland security side and then there's the homeland security sister wife side, okay? So then, um, Dewey is, he basically is like innocent until proven guilty and I recommend Jenny. You just send her love over text.

It's like, okay, well, I don't think it's that easy but fine. So now Mary comes downstairs and she's wearing some crazy American flag. Sure. And a headband. And it's, I'm like, God bless, God bless, Mary, and her, and her, and her fashions always keeping things interesting. She just kind of shuffles in and Jenny's like, good morning, want coffee?

I'm an early bird. Mary's like, die. She just looks at her like, die please. So Heather comes in and she's looking around the kitchen. She's like, if I were a cookie sheet, where would I be? Which I play wherever I am. Yeah. In general, like if I was a cookie sheet,

how would I feel right now? Like cookie sheets out at the like on the road, trying to hitchhike out of there. Like I don't want to be put into an oven again. So then, so Heather wants to do the most is in everything and, you know, she just sort of like assigning, she's assigning tasks and she tells Whitney

to help Meredith clean glasses and when she's like, but I have Carpool. And then she says the thing that you love to say, which is if you got time to lean, you got time to clean, let's go. Yeah. And so Whitney's like, do you feel like you have an emotional hangover and married us like, oh, that's a good way to pull that. That's fine. That's funny. I also just have a hangover.

So then their plan for today is that they're going to be doing either like ice skating and shopping or just dogs letting. And so Mary is choosing shopping and ice skating. And she said, and Meredith says, well, you know what? The last few weeks I felt very unsettled about having engaged in these rumors about Mary. And I feel like I'm not being a good friend. I'm trying to think of a three, a list of three things I'm being bad, I feel mad and that makes me mostly feel sadistic. No, what's the matter? I was engaging, which is an arranging, which is not mine. I'm changing. I'm in change. I think she's feeling extra guilty

because Mary is walking around in a Brooks Marks track suit. So it's like, oh, damn. Yeah, I didn't even notice that. Yeah, because at first she was like an American flag pajamas and then she went into change to the Brooks Marks sweat suit. So Meredith's like, oh, damn, that was free of her time. I'm not gonna look back here for some of my mouth. I'm alright.

No. No. So, Heather's like, you're gonna dog side Whitney, right? And she's like, yeah, I brought my snooze to you. I want you to be in the mountains doing mountainy things. Dogs letting it's kind of like carpooling for dogs. Are there might be the one carpooled? Either way, I'm busy doing it.

I don't expect the wolves to answer their fun while they're carpooling me because I'm a good friend to wolves. If you don't ride a dog sled, we're all in danger. So then, so Whitney's like making an egg and Mary is sort of a sidel's by and she's like, oh, that's nice, can I have an egg and Mary's from the side of the buy and she's like, oh, that's nice. Can I have an egg too? Or she just always says, I want like that looks nice. She goes, look at your eggs, Whitney. Are you only doing them for yourself?

That's what I was like. That was way too polite for her to say, man, I have one also. She's a total asshole about it. So Whitney's like, oh, would you like an egg? She goes, yes, I would love an egg. So she walks away and Whitney's like, Oh my God, I don't want the pressure of cooking her an egg. Because you know, there is a lot of pressure, right? Like one little thing wrong and Mary's going to hold against you for like two months. So it needs like, even though Mary's treating me like shit, I'm going to still make her eggs because I'm a nice person and I can't help it

I just can't help making an egg So however, I better get this right because if I don't cook these eggs correctly Is she going to come for me and my end danger? Can I couple these eggs somewhere just safety? Mmm, Emily says like goodbye At least it comes in as she's trying to look like she just woke up, even though we all just saw her getting ready for like two hours for her just woke up scene. Yeah, and then she's like, everything's good with a bay,

Bala, berries, and bacon. Also, butane, bio fries, bambam, burritos, but not a rama, I love that pond, bans. Bango! Bango, baggles. burritos but not a rama love that pond bonds bingo bingo bagels and how there's like did you sleep okay Lisa I'm saying I took me a while to step at the once I found a sip I was I'm Mary says Lisa I'm gonna join with you oh look Mary made Whitney made me an egg she made me an egg and then it's

clown music as she looks over the egg. She's like, oh, she puts it in the microwave. And she's like, I don't trust waiting. I'm definitely putting that egg in the microwave because I didn't see her watch her hands. So, I mean, put it in the microwave. That's the only way to kill those germs is to cook that little bad boy.

Sorry. Yeah, microwave. Just cook it a little bit more. Make sure it's not contaminated. I mean, Mary is not with us. Like Mary is in a different world. Like something is, Mary is lives in a different reality. And I feel like at some point,

we're just gonna have to reckon with that. But for right now, it's pretty entertaining. Yeah. So then everybody's getting ready, and they split up into the buses. So the housewives trips, so some people go someplace, and other people go in that place

to talk shit about each other. And you know, who's really eager for them to get on the bus and get going? Jenny. Heather, let's go. We're really late. We're really late. Heather, like, she does not,

like, I'm not Heather, I'm sorry, Jenny, she just wants, when, if there's a bus, she wants to be on it and she wants to be moving as soon as possible. Yeah. She's not like pedaling. Yeah. So Meredith is like, well, I was freaked out last night.

You know, they're talking about it. She goes, you know, but here's the deal when you suck. Cause they go out and sit on the balcony where everybody's getting ready. She's like, yeah, just feel kind of stressed out. Me cows. I had that wearing cramp that come with Singy Shantwov. I am an era of man. You made my sense of that. They did everything including the God's Sustained. That one. Oh my God. Get off my back. Like yeah, your sons are out. And I like my hands so much. I lost my point. I was gonna say I like the sound of our joint meridus like deciding which one of us is gonna speak next because it was just this.

But I realized I think I've been married at the whole episode. So it's like, you know what? Don't hold the mirror. No, there's sounds. You got to be out of here. That's the mark. You're wrong. Are you kidding me?

Other married? There's so much, Mary. It's a go around. Let it actually. There's nothing to be concerned about. Hey, you're wrong. Let me tell you something other, other Meredith at Mary's thing on Saturday with me was intimating things that weren't so positive either.

Yeah, so she's like, what do you know Lisa? Just tell me what you know. And Lisa's like, wow, what Cameron told me, he's said that it's serious to be part of Mary's church. I'm not the way they look at Mary and the Church, it's like Sarah's. But he was like saying like Mary's Shots up every once in a while, she's a loose half. And then when she comes, they're like in awe. It's like the second coming, the third coming, the fourth coming.

Like in Neverkitz, oh, they're always excited to see Jai Bat. Like one was fresh, one was wealth, and together they were the... Floppy's saying. Oh no, I think he thought the world of her and they had a very strong relationship Emeritus just goes Wanting trying to sing What I'm trying to say is that maradist congregation Loves pack up. Oh wow one moment. She's there. Oh next moment. She not there, love that. She ain't in love with it, they lose their minds.

And I'm not trying to say anything beyond that. I just think that Cameron trusted in Mara and felt a probably close to her. And that's all, and you can have her. Hey, wait, let me finish off with this. Stop, stop, stop. They're really close. When Miss Fresh, when Miss Woff and together, they were the perfect aftershave product, I'm shout-out.

So that was saying earlier. So it's more sense now. Yeah, the next five times. Oh, yeah. Like in Meredith, I need to learn how to like, do you know this with my hand? Well, that's done by the way. That's hard. Yeah, it's like a dance class.

How they teach you how to spot, you know, where you look at one point of the room until you almost make the turn. And then you flip your head back around and you still see that point in the room. I need to do that, but with Meredith, you know, it's like Meredith spotting. It is, you do have to, you do get a little dizzy. And well, let me tell you something, Lisa thinks or knows more of it than what she's disclosing, and it's all unsettling.

Like the time when Brooks said he wanted his whole thing this season to be about making holla. I mean, that little baby having problems it like doesn't make sense to me. It's all unsettling this season. Um, so Meredith is, what is this? She's like, well why didn't you ever mention this to me about the peekaboo? And Lisa says, well I felt like you're a great friend of Maurey Mardath, and like, why would I say anything that might rot all your

friendship, okay? Yeah. And she's like, but you know, I think I need a helmet conversing. And she's like, what do you want to say to her? She's like, well, I just think she needs to be a winner with these crap that conversation. Things are going on. I'm gonna tell her, hey, those crap that can't be said, crap that can't be said. Well, I keep all your conf Well, I keep all your conf it's getting out of control. I mean, oh, there's now a full dedicated currency dedicated to these cryptic discussions, like all the cryptic currency. And I think it's getting out

of hand. I'm going to get the real Bitcoin engine on what's going on. So I don't like it one Bitcoin. This is some bullshit. All of this is bullshit because Lisa Cameron wanted to be on TV. Cameron jumped right on TV to go tell Tattletail on Mary and then whisked out on whatever he's going to say. So Lisa being like, wow, I'm going to keep his confidence. No, you can't just throw stones and then hide your hand. Throw the damn stone. Okay, come out here and throw the stone.

Ma'am. Well, they're working up to it because I remember in the trailer way back when Cameron has like a scene where I think he sits down with Whitney. So he will have his, he will have a scene. We'll have his moment in the sun. So the bus arrives at dog sledding and thankfully a lot of this is boring so we don't have to go through a lot of the stuff. It's on the side.

Yeah. Lauren the, there's the main guy at the dog sled. Alpine adventure dog sledding instructor. He's like, please just this guy's name is Austin but him Guy, because we've got a lot of Austin's here. Okay, I feel like calling him Austin Guy. And then, you know, there was just like talk about like getting on the sled. So at one point, Whitney is with Austin Guy and she's saying, I'm so allergic to dogs.

They, if they, but I, can I start from the top? Okay, I am so allergic to dogs, but I love them. I, but I didn't bring, I didn't bring Zurteck. And Austin goes, oh, how old Zurteck? Because no, Zurteck is the allergy medicine, but thank you for making me not look like the least smart person here today. It's refreshing.

Oh, so with me, it's like, these dogs are a lot easier least smart person here today. It's refreshing. So with me, it's like these talks are a lot easier to control than the bitch is back home. She always does that thing where she makes a really terrible punchline and then she just steers at the camera and the editors just leave it going. She's like waiting for a pause. Hold for laughter. So now over with the shoppers. So they're walking around in downtown Vale. It's Lisa, Mary and Meredith. And Lisa, oh my god, I love this.

I'll village. Oh my god, Meredith, you have to open up a store. I'll open up a store, Open up a star, Marta. Oh my God. And then Mary goes, this reminds me of, uh, uh, uh, you're up. No, Harry Potter at Disneyland, which is Europe. It reminds me of like one of those places that up got center. You're no, the place in that movie European vacation.

You're up. No, you know, you know, like that restaurant, Olive Garden, Italy. So then they go into a sunglasses store and Lisa's like, oh my god, I think sunglasses are starting now. Now, I'm just starting now because Lisa's doing that. Look, I'm fun. So she's doing your fun voice wherever they go. She's like, oh my god, look at that.

Look at the status. Why are you talking like that? What are, where does that voice come from? So Mary's like, yeah, I mean, I like the sunglasses, but I wish she would have cleaned them first like with alcohol, cause I mean, I then the gay who's there is like, everything is cleaned.

Yeah, wait, hold on a second. Hey, Koshi, I've got some deets for you on your investigation. Yeah, she's crazy. And Lisa gets married, could live in a medically sealed everything and they just shows Mary like I don't know what that means But it's very offensive. I'll get you for that later And then we go back to dog sledding. That's more silliness of what news like can you get a DIY on a dog sled? Oh wait a DUI on a dog sled. Oh, wait, more importantly, if I take a face time

while doing dog sled, is that irresponsible to the dogs? Can we get a DUI? And Heather's like, well, we're about to find out. She has, can you get an IUD? Well, we're about to find out. Can you get a D-I-U? I don't know what that is. But we're about to find out.

Can we get the DWP? Well, that seems pretty regional to Los Angeles. Just married. They just married his voice over the mountains. That seems pretty regional. So back to Vale, Lisa's like, not sick, Hargan. Has nothing on my. I'm like, don't take Tonya Harding side Lisa

as you get a deer. And you're a figure skating costume. That's what Meredith said. She's like, well, I'm calling Tonya Harding. And she's like, well, I thought I'm ice skating. All I thought about was the cute out. I forgot the burning of the mountain. Screaming. Yeah, so then they like go into this little ice rink

that's in the middle of the veil, and the middle of the main walking area, main promenade, and basically Lisa is the only one who seems to be able to ice skate. So she's sort of just like doing a Jill's Aaron in the middle, but like Meredith and Mary are like clutching onto the side as I would, because I've never gotten ice-kitting before.

And like, oh my God, I'm glad I'm doing this before I ever let my little baby Brooks do this, cause he's just a baby and would fall over his face. I'm Mary's just hating this whole thing. And Lisa is, come on, baby. I built it with you, baby! Baby, baby, baby! Hey, Mary!

Guess she's right here right now! And she's like, yeah, she's with me. And he told me, go to the door. Go to the door. Mary clearly hates group trips. I mean, that's what's so funny about Mary is that she's hating every single moment of this. I mean, she is so quirky and it's just so strange that she's on this show because the things

that this show asks of her are things that make her look so supremely uncomfortable, but she's doing it anyway. And it's just so bizarre. She hates group trips and just groups and people at all. Like she really hates being anywhere. Even when she had to get on the phone to call and invite people, she was like, yeah, she really does. So now the dog sledders driving back and Heather drops candy on the bus floor. And

she's like, five second rule, 10, 30 second rule. It's like this one's dry. She just pops it in her mouth. And Jenny's like, Oh my God, you know what? Lee said does the same thing. She's, yeah, we're twins. I mean, clearly, I'm Arnold Schwarzenegger and she's damn me to beat out. I don't think I have one of you really wins with that one. But that's the fun thing about twins. Yeah, I would have, I would have gone more for a bet man that were literally toppling by personally.

So Heather's like, she's saying how she got along with Least on the ride to Vail and that. She's like, you know, it was a close compartment and she was highly agitated and she never got like mad at me once. Like that was pretty amazing. And when he goes, yesterday, validated a lot of things for me, just watching her like this was someone who has never driven Carpool before I could tell. Heather's like, yeah, I mean, it was the Lisa Barlo Show.

Like, how does this affect me? And then we get a clip of Lisa being like, oh my God, all my attorneys are coming me back. Hello, Steven. Hold on, Steven. Hello, Jonathan. Oh my God. Hold on, there's a pain outside.

Do not speak to anybody about your lawyer. Sloth, Darth. I think that was from Darcy. She couldn't afford the wire. Tell her outside. Do her check for the other way. Jonathan, stop it. I for the other way. Jonathan stop it. I'm talking to Steven. Steven stop I'll talk into Jonathan. I got I Actually think it's like okay to have a moment where you think oh shit

Am I gonna be in trouble because of Gen Shaw? I really think it's okay. I'm like not upset that Lisa called her lawyers All of them, but that's the thing that's funny Lisa Lisa's like, I'm so apart now, like 19 lawyers. So I'm going to be calling all of them right now. And then every lawyer, she's like, I'm shut up. I'm so shut up. Oh my God. Oh my God, she loved me. Oh my God, she loved me.

Hi, Jonathan. I am shooketh. Hold on one second. Hi, Andrew. I am shooketh. Hold on one second. I am shook it hold on one second. So, and then Heather is like, you know, she goes, Heather says that, you know, she says that she's direct, but Lisa likes to make sure like the water's always stirred up and

muddy, but she does not want to get her hands dirty, okay? Lisa has all the information, but she's unwilling to share it with me, which is exactly what she did on the bus, but when I, but when she said I was done with my theory about like why I swathing showed up for Jen today, but she didn't tell us why. I mean, so what this is, what this gets to is that we see a flashback of when they were driving, at least he goes, I think I just came up with a theory. You guys say what you think my theory is and I'll tell you how close you are. And they're like all upset that she had, quote, go has information.

I'm like, she just came up with a theory. I don't know. I thought this was a pretty standard game moment with, oh my god, I just thought of something. Can you think about what I'm thinking about? Well, she keeps acting like she has all the information, but she won't share any of the information. But then Heather and Whitney do nothing but talk shit about her. So why would she share the information?

Yeah. But then on the other hand, then why does Lisa have to keep bragging that she knows everything? I mean, they're all ridiculous. That's why this is so funny. So Jenny's like, well, the thing I know about Lisa is that she knows a lot of things, but she doesn't want to say things and then be wrong about things.

So she has to be 100% bulletproof and factsproof. And then Whitney's like, Lisa, stop sitting in San Amel. Deaking for dirt in your balanza, God, sure. Oh my God, it's like a rap. So then I didn't really get any of that, did you? They were just being silly. Like they were just decided to like rhyme.

And it was exciting for them. I never know if it's like a Bible verse, I forgot or something. So then Vams go back to the rental. The van gets back to the rental and Crystal and Christa and Christa are there. Now everybody's there. So Christa was like, hi, it's me, Christa.

The experience is a coordinator of Kuve. Okay. So listen, come on in, we've of Kuveh. Okay, so listen, come on in, we've got a nice spread. We'd love to do something special for our guests here at the Kuveh Shale. I know, and they put like, they just like, cover the entire bar with like rapes and cheeses and stuff. And, and Heather starts making herself

like a little plate and Jenny goes, that's all you're getting Heather, she goes, no, no, no, I've just built my foundation and I'm going to go from, I'm gonna build from there. She's like, of course not, ridiculous. And then everyone else is like, okay, let's go outside. She's like, not done. No.

And Heather just stays in there building her little town of cheese. So she tells them once they go sit down and stuff, they're like, oh my god, did you have fun?F I'm not and Heather talks about how she grew up there. And she has a younger sister who lives in Colorado. And they haven't been really close because she was super judgmental. Heather was super judgmental because the sister got married to a guy that wasn't Mormon right after high school. So she got excluded from things. And Heather was committed to being like super Mormon even after her divorce. And so she just had

blinders on and just, you know, she felt she just feels horrible about it now. But she has a lot to make up with and she just wants to, you know, she just wants to like reconnect with her sister and like all that stuff. So then now we get some some Trixi monoclackle Choir and we go a little Cuz we're in Salt Lake City and yes, it's jazz Jen's big Jen's first faker scene her big return to the show. Yes, Jen goes to see Clayton her lawyer He's like, Oh Jen! Oh Jen, come on in and sit down, Jen.

You fucking laugh at me like that when I just got swatted. You got another thing coming to you Clayton, sir. Clayton, he's acting as if he didn't know she was gonna walk and he's like, oh, I'm just looking at one of my three giant monitors I have here in my law office. Oh, there you are Jen, Shaw. Didn't see you wore that camera group on me.

Oh, man. And she's like, well, I really wanted to brief you in person. And he's like, well, we're really at the very beginning of the case. I mean, you've been charged with wire fraud and money laundering. And you pled not guilty to both those charges, you know, because you are totally innocent, totally, totally innocent. Yeah, he's like, well, we're going to get discovery, police reports, bank records, or haylands, you know, we'll give my

idea what they think their case is, but we know that you're innocent that we, she's like, uh-huh. And so she tells us, what I've been accused of is absolutely the community opposite of anything I would ever do in my life. Like, if I have any phone, it's an outfit to giving and I have too many people. I'm just guilty. I'm guilty of being the best mother I knew I could be. I'm sorry I never was.

Give me some credit for trying, won't you? Do you know what's really hard? For old people to hold heavy things and when they have bags full of money I just want to help them. That's all, that's all, like why is everyone attacking me? All I wanted to do was help old people start websites and I'm sorry if that's all I wanted to do because I wasn't gonna give them something to do for the last few years of their life which is run on little website and I'm sorry if some people think that was an unrealistic thing for me to promise them but I'm just giving I just want websites for people. Yeah she's such a giver so Clayton's like well okay we're just waiting for the judge to

send us the paperwork for the million dollar reconnaissance for the bond. Damn I mean both guys they are crazy aren't they and then over the next couple of weeks we'll work on the 50,000 property or asset bond or whatever. And she's like, the cast she made and he goes, did the cast, the cast, yeah, the cast. And she's like, I mean, this is just like so surreal, because I'm thinking like Sharifah's sick and like, I'm going home. And then we see the clip of her getting the call. And she tells us she's like, when I was sitting on the bus, I got a call that showed my husband's phone number on the phone and I was like, oh my God,

this is not my husband's voice. And then they told me to go home and get Omar and get to the hospital and I immediately went to like, oh my God, is Sharif okay? This is an emergency. And then she talked about how she got pulled over and she didn't really know what was going on

And she's like, I feel like I feel like I'm still in shock like kind of in a fog like I didn't grow up with a lot I worked so hard to get to where I am now and to have this happen. I tried to help so many people along the way And I don't understand and the worst part is that I can take whatever I can take whatever as everyone sees I am very resilient when I deal with dealing with hardship. Okay, when people have things to say about me, I can really take it well, but to have it affect my husband and my sons is killing me and I just, I don't want them to hurt. I'm just too giving, I'm just too giving. She's so full of it. Also this whole whole syringe thing like, oh, it wasn't

syringe who called me, even though you saw him on my caller ID, it was someone else pretending to be syringe because syringe didn't want to look like a liar. I don't think on team. I mean, I just don't believe anything. She's saying, not that it really makes any kind of difference, but I saw an after show where she's going on and on about how it wasn't syringe that called her. It was somebody out. I'm like, Jen, like, she's going on and on about how it wasn't Sharif to call her. It was somebody out. I'm like, Jen, like she's just such an obvious liar about every little thing. I guess the implication is that maybe someone from the doctor's office used his phone to call, but like that, why?

I don't understand. So now we're back to the rental house and Heather is putting ribbons in her hair, which is something I feel like she's been waiting to do for like a season and a half. Like finally, I get to have a ribbon moment. So they're all doing kind of, it looks like an October fest dress up. They're very Bavarian, you like in Derndolz and things like that. And Lisa is walking with, I think it's with Jenny and she's like, oh my God, we look like Christmas Hulkars, Swedish Christmas Hulkars.

I'm like, I don't get the Swedish part, but okay. And then she's doing, I guess, because they're thinking like the Swiss Miss look because they're all on their leader's house. I think you can do whatever. Swiss and Swedish, I think. Yeah, and so she's like, she's doing her fun voice, and she's going,

Fuck, Jack, me. Come on, Jack, me. She's like, you have a little bow on your booty. John, I, John, me on your booty. John night. John night. John night. John night. So then, a lady comes from Rocky Mountain Racklet, which I don't know about what Rocky Mountain Racklet is.

Like, I don't know about the company, but I know it's something I want to participate in in the future. I really, really need to have a Rocky Mountain Racklet moment. I know about Rocky Mountain Chocolate Company, which I'm also into. I think I think I can. Rocky Mountain High, Rocky Mountain Oysters. Oysters.

Oysters, some bull balls. Well, this raclette sounds just like another pickleball thing to me. I'm like, you don't play it with a raclette because it's like a little, because it's pickleball. Okay. Robo can fuck off with that pickleball. I'm sick of it. So Heather's like, yeah, I love a good thing. When I was 21 in a missionary in the South of France,

they would serve this to me. It's like fondue, you know, like meat, cheese, fondue. I'm just imagining Heather as this like young missionary, just not going out knocking on doors, because she's just sitting on meeting rec let so Just knocking on doors like do you have a cheese melt there? We're out of rec let So then Lisa's Lisa's like hey, hey guys look what else we can do watch

Yodel a yo Yodel a yo which he then does like any chance she gets for the rest of the episode It's like not even close to yodeling. So then we got a Mary and Mary Salon in her room and of course she's got a Chanel little cumberbunt thing. And she's like, this is why I don't take group trips because like everyone's in there laughing and like talking and then here I come, last, and then I get up there and they're like, let's go, let's go!

Did I just say that? God, talk to myself a lot. I'm working on it. I'm working on it. She gets very embarrassed right in front of the cameraman all of a sudden. So Mary joins, and she's in a parade, which is funny. She's doing some sort of weird Emily in Paris meets

like a little Alice in Wonderland meets Derndol. It's just like Mary's take on Pavarian style, which of course is great. And so they go outside and there's an ice luge that's been set up, and Mary's of course disgusted, but they're drinking shots out of this ice luge and everything. And they're like, Mary, do you want a shot? She's, no, I want it neat. I want it neat. She's like, I mean, we're in Colorado.

I mean, it's during the ski season. I mean, not only do we go ice skating, but now we're sitting out in the ice cold. I mean, for me, this is torture. So she just goes inside. I live in Salt Lake City. So weird. Yeah.

I live in a very cold place, man. So she goes and sits inside alone. She's in a terrible mood. And then we get to the cheese wheel. Reclat, it comes from Switzerland. It's cheese heaven. Am I right, ladies? To Kristen or Christine, her Christ or whoever is out there, like, wheeling some cheese around. I said her name was Christine. I don't know if her name was Christine,

but she had like strong Christine energy. And did you notice by the way, that they also played like the spooky spooky, Did you notice by the way that they also played like the spooky, spooky, Trixi Monoclackle music for that? They're like, like all these like flat notes in it, that was like, ooh, spooky, but they were just making reclats. Minor is Trixi Monoclackle in minor. Then they start playing this porn music while Heather eats the melted cheese. And she's like, I've got chills.

And then they go in and sit for dinner. And then Whitney, God, Whitney is such a tryhard. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, okay. She just tries too hard. She's like, guys, it is time for shatskis. Everybody stand up. I have got a shatskis. Ha, ha, ha.

Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. And Mary is like, who does that at our age? I mean even at Whitney's age and like well Mary, you better get you better get ready next time you're on water happens live. That's what I got to say about that. And so I'm gonna say I'm good. And she's like the secret is doing it at the same time. And so they all do the shot skis. I like the come on Mary's. That's her with small ones. She's like, um, did you not hear me? I'm goodis. I like that. Come on, Mary. That's a small one. She's like, did you mind going to me?

I'm good. But I like that. Whitney has to explain the secret to doing a shot ski. We have to do it at the same time. No, we're going to alternate turns. You drink and I'll let it dribble down my shirt. Of course, you do get the same time. Whitney.

So that's great. Mary can't be kind of moody. And she is very crumpy, probably because the shot ski is my idea and she's not a little girl and little girls do shot skis. Hey that shot ski needs a little yodel a here. Yodel a yodel a yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Yodel. Y Yo, yo, yo, bye. Yo, yo, yo, yo. And at this time for the Rocky Mountain Reclette dinner, OK, now here's what we're going to do with all that little time, the little pants. We're going to put our little reclette there. Then we're going to put our band of the fire.

Then we're going to put something on top of the fire. Then we're going to stop trying to steal from Benny Hanna and call it a thing. Christine. Right. It's just like a fancy Benny Hanna. I was so into it. I was like, please, please give me a little tray of raclette

to put under the grill, which was fun. So then, and then they had dessert outside, which I thought was probably annoying. Like I actually, at that point, I'm like, at this point I just want to stay inside. Even though I wasn't there, I'm just telling everyone what my preferences would have been. And so Lisa,

I'm coming to Oscar. So Lisa's like, how do you say I'm Rade in French? How do you say it? Because the chef, the dessert, the pastry chef is French because he's like, just sweet, oh, Heather says just we pray, just just we par it, just we par it, just what's the part? Yodo, yeah, yodo, oh, So they eat and Mary's like, I have a party. Go on, go on my lap.

So they're all loving it. And then the lady's like, and also, we're gonna make s'mores. Okay, ladies and Mary's is like, man, that's how I knew s'mores. I want the tops. All right. We do a mini diandemic s'more.

Bring up the ground cracker, the animal with a smile. the hands of teeny bat. And then we'll get a full marshmallow because that's popping around. And others like, yeah, I can see the campaign for fat girls who like to count. Time to get, my man. All right, so guys, let me get my tweezers.

So we have a crumb of ground cracker and let's a little sharn of chocolate and we'll put that to take a little molecule of marshmallow and there it is. Then many diantetic s'mores perfect for little babies like Brooks. So then Mary keeps trying to say something because Heather's going, oh my god, I'm not sure I've really get your physics assessment of that marshmallow. But no one like gives her a laugh so she keeps trying to say it over and over. And then meantime Mary's like, Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather, Heather. And Heather's kind of everyone's ignoring Mary.

Yeah, she goes, Heather, it's her party. Let her cry if she wants to, which was kind of funny. But then she's so grumpy by the end of it, you know, So she's like, see, this is why I need to go to bed. Because talking in this group, it's like, you're not really talking. You're talking to yourself. Heather, why don't you take my seat, Heather? Okay, I don't want to be a Debbie Downer. Okay, so Heather, just make sure you're not in my bed.

Yeah, and they're like, what do you mean? She's, well, I mean, she's gonna keep drinking and like get confused about the room and might end up in my bed. Heather's like, well, God mean, she's gonna keep drinking and like get confused about the room and might have in my bed There's like well God willing, okay? If I wake up and Mary am Cosby's bed send me to out her darkness immediately So Whitney's like, but what if I come into your bed Mary? She's like, um, yeah, I'm not gonna do this gotta go So she leaves she gets up to leave and he's like, but Mary, I love you. And I've put a lot into our friendship, but in the cooking class, you told me we're not friends.

You told me I don't listen. And Mary just puts her head on Meredith's shoulder and like sleeps. Yeah. And when he's like, but you said things to me that really Mary, do you even care Mary? And she's like, I'm listening, I'm listening.

She's like, no, you are falling asleep. She's like, no, I'm listening. I'm listening. And Whitney says, I don't think Mary gives a fuck about me. I'm like, really? Is it because Mary basically said to you, we're not friends anymore. And I don't give a fuck about you essentially. So, Mary, where would you get that idea?

Also, Whitney's so fake and full of shit., like she's sitting here acting like she's just crying over Mary. When she's sitting here ready to drop this bomb on Mary, right? That's like her whole pretext of starting the scene is dropping all this shit on Mary, dinner, about her cults and all this. But she's acting like, Mary, I love you, Mary. Before she drops it. Yeah. So, Mary's like, well, you definitely hurt me too when you didn't take, take the phone up and like you didn't listen to me. What do you mean? Listen to you.

She was, oh, God, Lord help me. Lord help me with this one. She says, I'm not your child Mary. It's just, well, thank God you're not. And she's like, well, hand shrug. I'm shrugging with my hands. Everybody. I can't feel my shoulders right now.

Shug, what do you expect you expect me to listen to you? But Mary's a good night. She just kicks up and walks off. Yeah. But that is my point. I care about Mary more than she cares about. Yeah, shut up. She doesn't like you.

The end. I'm not saying that she's necessarily reasonable about it. But shut up, Whitney. You're on the wing. I can see why why I'm actually on Mary's side on this one Yeah, and Mary tells us Whitney's been drinking on that like I don't think she's gonna remember this tomorrow Which I think that Whitney will remember it. I think Mary's also kind of like a drunk gas lighter You know like oh she's wasted. She's not gonna remember. So Whitney was like well, why does she expect me to listen to her But none of

you. She's, hey, hey, hey, Mara, Mara, hey, stay up for a second. I guess Meredith goes to go talk to Meredith. Stay up for a second, Mara. I'm still now. I'm gonna give me a rank back because I was a very heavy dietetic. Many, some more like you all in her head. And I have to walk it off one second. And Whitney's like, but Meredith, she thinks less of me. And Meredith goes, ah, she does, ma. She goes inside. And Whitney's going, yes, she does. She doesn't do this to you Lisa. And Lisa goes, yes, she does. Oh, yes, she does. So then inside Meredith is telling Mary. No, so she's being just want. I don, but you gotta say.

I know you're not having carbs right now, but if you want to chicken fingers, get a Bruxy right and then burper. She'll feel better and when you put her down, all she wants to hear is that she'll offer. And Mary is like, um, that's another day. I'm not doing that today. Yeah. So what he's like, I just feel like I got excommunicated from her.

I felt like I showed up for a couple and no kids got into the van. So married. And then we just see Mary saying, not tonight, not tonight. I mean, I know there's a lot out there about her and I protect her from it. I protect her from it so hard that I'm gonna talk about it right now. Yeah, that's the that's her thing like saying I got I got x communicated from her church She's so full. She's so bad at this basically is my issue with her. She is such a ham-handed housewife It makes me fucking crazy. So Lisa's like, what do you mean you protected her?

She's like when people ask me if this is true if that is true if this is not true If that is not true, this is about, if that is true, if this is not true, if that is not true, this about her church, that about Robert Sr., that about a con... Get to the point, right name, fucking A. The wolf is no longer fresh, you're telling me here. All right. The congregation believes that Mary is God, like have you ever see when she plays peekaboo with them, They love it.

And Heather goes, are they worshiping her? Are they worshiping her? Yes. A boom! Let me get a big boom. And when he's like, I believed her. I went to her church and then I realized that I was being lied to. And as your friend said, we were warned. And I can't speak to you that because I wasn't there. And of course, Lisa is like, well, actually, you said it to Meredith alone. It was Meredith, remember that, which is the whole reason

she had Meredith there. So she didn't have to do that. Yeah. So Meredith is like, yeah, you said, we were wearing, wearing, you know, yeah. And Lisa says, well, I will tell you why his name was even being brought up. I had to go, well, he's a disgruntled member of Mary's Church and Whitney goes,

why is his name being brought up by me actually? But why? And Lisa is like, listen, you should ask him the questions because I don't wanna be the one to speak for him, but I'm happy to put him on camera so that way you guys all speak about him right now. And Heather's like, well, he apparently told you in an effort to get the word out. So why don't you just say at least that? He's like, no, no, there's no effort to get the word out.

He told me a long time ago, a while ago, a long, long time ago. And then there's like, what's going on here? Because like, I don't understand. It sounds like a lot of nothing. Are we talking about a friend who's in a powerful position that may be taking advantage of older people? And when he's like, yes, or are you, we just trying to hint that we're not dumbasses? Yes. Or I mean, what are we doing? I like, do we just not want to say what we think or feel? Because we want to steer clear if any trouble. Yeah, okay, wait me

Sit down now in this room for all of those things. It's like a carpool of emotions And so Heather is Heather saying getting Lisa to say this information about Mary is like getting a Mormon man to admit He's ever seen porn, okay, and I shouldn't be hard this hard to tell us what you know So Lisa says, people have to be able to trust me in showering things. They have to know that they tell me a cigarette. I'm not gonna tell a secret, but I'm just gonna, a load to the cigarette. And then you guys figured out from that. I know she's like playing thousand dollar pyramid or whatever that game is. She's like, I didn't tell him. I didn't tell him, you can't kick me off the game. And so Jenny's like, okay, now I get why Whitney and Heather, what is it?

Million dollar pyramid. I just, you really priced it down. You really brought, like, what is it? Yeah, 64, no that's the 64. I'm like the 80s version. It's like the $5 pyramid. $5. I'm just a tick of gum pyramid.

I would play all of them, but to be honest. So Jenny is like, now I understand why Winnie and Heather are so frustrated with Lisa because she's throwing out hints and leading us to what she knows, but not telling us. Just tell us. Just tell us. The van is about to leave. We have to get on the van. Heather goes, we are a group of women who've just been completely traumatized and are very

full of reclet by our friend getting arrested, practically in front of us, and all of us have red flags, and we turn the other way, because we didn't want to upset her, and we want to stay in her good graces, and we ignored, to get our instincts,

and we ignored messages, people sent us, we ignored victims, we ignored many phone calls, from Homeland Security, that said, we need to talk to you about your friend, Gen Josh, you may be up to some no good we ignored all that okay?

We had this I was walking I was walking down the sidewalk a couple of weeks ago And I could have sworn that a bush was following me and I kept looking behind me and the further I walked the further the bush was close to me and then finally I just stood there and the bus actually took two steps and I ignored that I Ignored that like I'm literally ignoring everything happening. She has to Lisa if you know something about our friend Mary victimizing people would you please just tell us and she's like I'm married. I have a conversation with me today. Man, Sam. She like it. There's a big rewind moment. I should also mention that

during this entire scene Trixi Monoclocke, quietly in the back when she's going It's like the chorus wants to weigh in but they're like too afraid like it's now the time So six hours earlier during the Nancy Carrigan Exhibition Meredith says, okay, Mary There are some people making cryptic Negative remarks, but mainly cryptic. It's my new favorite word. Okay. I'm engaging with cryptic about your church and it's upsetting me My Mary goes oh no, and she was me

I don't She's like well look as my grandmother used to say It's not who said it. It's who believes it now sign over your mortgage or Jesus Christ will decapitate you and serve your mouths to demon dogs. Oh, well, and after words, we both got some sort of charge keys from a local kiosk and everything was fine. And so I think everything's okay. So, you know, she then almost can't trombola the sunglasses shop when she

took sunglasses and put them in the microwave I mean those were 150 dollars. I Mean I did tell her not to spend 75 dollars on knockoff Mickey Mouse ears that were in the shape of squares But she insisted that she had to get them so well, you know, so Meredith says, you know what, she said, Meredith, you know, what religion, what church do you know that people don't have negative things to say about, you know, and they're like, oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah. And Lisa's like, you know what, but I'm respectful of the paper, except for weather. And I'm respectful of my friend Cameron. And I believe him, I believe him. And I was like, what do you believe? You

still haven't said what you believe. I was like, he has to have extramer that is trauma being a member of our church and he is no longer a member. And Meredith is like, Religious trauma. I believe he most abstracts being I'm ever. I'm running from that.

And Lisa's like, starts playing with her hair angrily. She's like, oh my god, she's best to be on my side, bitch. Y'all know. If I say anything right now, it's not a patrol. Come on. This is because I was pushed by Mara. So there's all these insinuations are being made that are more damaging, I would guess, than what the truth is.

And I have still behind Mary, because she has been a good friend to me, better than Jennifer Shaw, but I am being told all these, you guessed it, cryptic messages, and nothing is clear, and I'm getting angry and upset! I'll tell you one thing that's not cryptic. Ah, my emotions! I'm getting angry, angry, and... That!

It's frankly... Now, you don't give me a concrete grandpa, only sickos. Him markets just house a gave a 300 grand. Boo! Are we talking about the chocolate bar or cash? I can't deal with all this cryptic information. Oh my gosh. So I'm not really sure what this is about.

I guess this is Mary talking not to bright people and deciding over their mortgages, but. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, but it's very good. We'll have to wait. We will have to wait. But then in the after show, you wanted us something really shady.

Something. I'm just saying clips of this after show that people are posting. And so one of them is about this. And Lisa's like, well, you know what? Like he's like traumatized with that. Just saying that's it.

And then Meredith is like, I mean, come on. You know what? If you sign your house over, you sign your house over. it's known as a charitable donation. No one got in trouble in Angie's party when that guy gave a million dollars. I mean, I mean, I found one charity.

Lisa, then it cuts back to Lisa. And she goes, you know, but like I can't speak for Kaman, you can ask him. But Cameron has passed away, man. I'll say that in the after show, when everybody knows this. Cameron has passed away, man. I'll say that in the after show, when everybody knows this poor guy has passed away, we said just sticking to her guns. Like, you know what, talk to Cameron, pray. You know what?

Ask the little boy from Coco. He can go to the other side and again, get the information for you. That is very odd that she would say, you should ask him that when she was one who posed the tribute to the poor guy. Yeah, maybe they reported that a long time ago. I have no idea.

But yeah, I don't know. But wow, I just absolutely love the season and the trailer for next week. I mean, the fact that there are A and B stories here about Mary having her cold and Gen Shah facing federal charges. I mean, this is going gonna be one of the best seasons of all time on Bravo, for sure. Yeah. Good times, everybody.

Well, thank you so much for being here. We'll see you tonight on Take A Seat over on Green Room by Spotify, 7PM Pacific 10PM Eastern. We're gonna have Potomac up later than Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip episode two and three this week plus a bonus. If you want our videos, this was video. So if you want them, crap and so on demand is over at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. That's also where you find

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