Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC: General Hospital Smell w/ Margaret Josephs - Live from Quarantine!

Episode Date: November 13, 2020

To celebrate the arrival of The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, we put on a virtual show, and guess who showed up? The Marge! Come hear Margaret Josephs' Crappens debut followed by our thorough recap of RHOSLC. We omitted the Q&A that followed the recap from this recording, but if you'd like to see it, the recording will be available the rest of the weekend. Catch it at https://onlocationlive.com/category/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey all, before we get started with today's episode, just to heads up that this is a recording of last night's live virtual show where we recapped the series premiere of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City.

At the end of that recap, we did about 25 to 30 minutes of Q&A from the audience and that's not in this recording. If that's something that you want to hear or see or if you just want to see the live show because you missed it, you can still watch it. You can go to onlocationlive.com slash watch what crap ends and the video is going to be up through the rest of the weekend. So go check that out and now here's the show. Hello and welcome to Watcher of Crappins, a podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yield Bravo. I'm Ben Mandelker of the Real Houseware, so kitchen island,

and also the Game Brain podcast for all your board game nerds. And joining me is the one and only my work husband, my favorite, adorable Ronnie Carram, what's going on Ronnie? I'll be in, oh my God. I'll be in, you bet. I'm actually nervous. It's so funny. I feel like I feel like it does feel like a live show energy

for me right now. I know me too. I'm so scared. I'm like, my trunk, my tea trunk, my not-trunking after the shaven after I put on the right bra. Well, I put on a really form-fitting bra from Maiden Form. And I'm wearing a sweater since we are going to be recapping

real housewives in Salt Lake City tonight. I put on a sweater. Also, it's like really cold in this room. And I'm wearing a sweater since we are gonna be recapping Real Housewives and Salt Lake City tonight. I put on a sweater also, it's like really cold in this room. And I also got made myself a signature cocktail. This is called the Utah Surprise. It's got jack.

Oh, that's Gary. Yeah. It's got jack. It turns really, really old and then you stick your penis in it. That's right. Actually, it's what's got jack, Diet Coke, and hospitals smell in it. And that's what we call each other's surprise.

Yeah. Listering and hydrogen peroxide. Well, what a fun night. This is a really historic night for a couple of reasons. One, it's a new housewives show. It's a real housewives assault like city, which I can't even believe they let a housewives show into Salt Lake City. So that's pretty amazing. So home of Lala, Lauren from Utah, There go why people you're doing great. You're doing great. Yeah, we are so, so excited to talk about this. Everyone's been buzzing, absolutely buzzing about real housewives of Salt Lake City.

But before we get into that, we've been talking that we have a special guest. And you know, like we are really excited to have this lady on because we are huge fans of hers. We've been fans of hers for a few years now. We love talking like her. You know what? Some would say that she's an icon.

We prefer to use the word classic. Everyone. That would say she's classic. Classic. All right, classic. It's classic much. Micro-Joseph's it. Joseph, sorry.

I had it a son. Why not? Why not? Micro-Joseph. No come to New York, we try. And you know, you're just very busy, right? Oh, no, been so busy, but I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Hi, guys. Hi. Thank you so much for coming. We're so excited to finally meet you. We've been trying for a very long time. Every time we come to New York, we try. And you know, you're just very busy, right?

Oh, no, been so busy, but I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for come to New York, we try. And you know, you're just very busy, right? Well, no, been so busy, but I'm so excited to be here. Thanks for having me. Oh my God. Oh, amazing. Oh, thank you so much. You guys look great. No, stop it.

Let me tell you something. I'm obsessed with your Herringbone floors. They remind me of the office in Emily in Paris. It's just gorgeous. Thank you. Thank you. I mean, Joe, I had to slave him to do that, but he finally put them in.

So thank you so much. Well, we love Joe and it's his birthday today, right? Yes, super Joe's birthday. So he's celebrating it, watching me go on watch for crap. And that's it. I know I fight on Mexican food and stuck them in the bed. Oh, perfect. Hi, Joe.

Hi, job on the chef, Ron. Oh, Joe. I mean, that is not, that is not like a typical husband. Like, hey, honey, I'm gonna do our floors. And then you just do some shitty plastic floor from lows. I mean, that is chevron joke. And neither work. Yeah, I know, exactly.

It was like, Marge, this isn't easy. I'm like, Joe, we must have the chevron. You did it. You did it. You did it. He's the saint. So, Marge, so are you guys are filming your season right now? Is that what's going on? He actually just wrapped, we just wrapped this. Really? Yes. What was it like filming during COVID times?

Well, during COVID times, it wasn't as bad as everybody would think because thank God it was during the summer so we could eat outside. We were COVID tested twice a week. I'd love the brain swat. Well thank God you guys, you guys need to eat outside whether there were COVID tested twice a week. I'd love the brain swathing. Thank God. You guys need to eat outside, whether there's COVID or not. You're not. Yeah. Where ever you go. I was wondering why it was not a big deal. We were all super responsible. Obviously, no plane rides. You know, we weren't going out of the country or anything like that to be safe. But it was good. We were happy to be back together. Well, the ladies happy together.

It did not stop the drama from happening. You would think a pandemic would calm down these girls, but no, that doesn't mean. Oh, no way. I think everywhere it's made drama much worse. I have drama with people. I don't even know. Yeah, exactly.

I remember when this was all starting, when the pandemic was starting, I saw your Instagram and you posted a clip of you with a friend. I don't remember who it was, but you were like, oh, this is how housewives STEM beat during the pandemic. And you guys are standing six feet apart and like fighting. Yeah.

Kind of my house. So we were fighting that sort of was we have to like, fix, slap each other from across like, you know, yeah. And that actually turned into that. You know, I saw a preview for real housewives, a bit of a which is coming out soon, the new season. And Cynthia's talking to Chihil, her new fiancee husband guy.

And they're both in those like check cashing place masks, you know, without them on their face. Like, no. Now, we didn't have to have it that bad. Since we were all tested, we got to be together. I mean, obviously we were out, we had to wear masks and things. But the, the redoing thing is we all have houses so we could go

to each other's homes and, and things like that. And everybody, these girls all have jersey shore houses, so that was fun. So it didn't make it difficult, like, on the logistics side for like shooting at restaurants and things like that. Or it's not really your issue, right? We didn't have that issue because we were outside. All the restaurants were open outside. We could be outside. Yeah. So it was not a big deal to us. It wasn't as rough. And hopefully you guys will get to do an in-person reunion, right? Because you're in your right by Andy. So I hope you work out. We're near Andy. I hope we've been in person reunion. I would not want to do it via Zoom or something like the Jersey girls need to be together.

We need to see each other's faces. Yeah, exactly. Okay, so we're just told people online to people are, there's a ton of people in this chat room just yapping away. And they're saying, right, love your face, love your wallpaper. Thank you. Thank you for the, the new jowls. They're higher, they're tighter.

Thank you. I'm so jealous. I want new jowls. Listen, I was, I was definitely heading south. I needed that Facebook. Well, you look amazing before, but you look amazing. Thank you. So let's talk about some housewife stuff. Yeah, let's do it.

Watch you walk all these shows, right? Because not everybody on Bravo admits to watching the shows. I don't even watch my own show. But you do, right? Of course, I watch my own show. I watch New York. I watch, I was so excited to watch Salt Lake City. I feel like I'm going to see it.

What do you think about the premiere of Salt Lake City? Those girls are crazy. I mean, they're amazing. I think they're a great addition to the franchise. I mean, they're so different than any other franchise. Don't you guys think? Oh, yeah. Yeah. There already is like a different feeling to it.

And it seems like a really good cast. It feels like they're just kind of like that perfect amount of crazy. You know, that's a little crazy that you only get with someone who is married to their step-grandfather. Oh, that's my favorite. Mary? Oh my god.

She had an Instagram live with Teresa the other night, which was so. Whoa. Wow. What? I can't say they're giving me a hard time. I was married to other night, which was so. Whoa, wow. Yeah. They give me a hard time as my grandmother, my grandfather, my grandmother and Teresa is like, what? Like, you know, it was so interesting.

What did they say? Teresa, you know that. So it was like Teresa goes, whatever's in your heart, Han, if that's good for you. Teresa, you're the one. Teresa, whatever's in your heart, got her into jail. What are you talking about? She did a great job of answering Mary to make her feel better,

but I think Mary's the best thing. I'm as long as it's not like a hospital. It's good to have. Yeah, I'll watch what happened. The whole cast is on what what happens, which was all areas. They're all cuckoo bird. And I don't know if it was just the sound,

but they couldn't really. And they're fighting as ridiculous. I mean, it's, it's people who are definitely destined to be real housewives because they were fighting over every little thing. And he said, so Meredith, were you offended that the party that was thrown for you wasn't about you at all. It was just about Jen. And she goes, she's like, well, let Ryan from you dumb kick a gif tour in the mouth. And she's like, well, let Ryan from you dumb, kick a gif, Taurus in the mouth. And Jen's like, oh, and now I'm a horse. Oh, great.

Now I'm a horse. And she's got that stupid microphone thing. I don't think Jen really understood the analogy. Now we have another franchise that doesn't understand analogies. But it was like a reunion episode. Their first date, that's what I had tweeted out last night. I felt like I was watching a reunion already. They were

at each other's throats. What do you think makes for a good housewife? Like who are the people that are best for these shows? People who aren't obviously who are very authentic, who don't pretend to be something they're not, who don't care if they have skeletons in their closet and aren't ashamed of them. Because if you have something, if you're hiding everything, it's not going to be good. But also who have the natural reactions of insanity, but who

can bounce back from a huge fight. And a grudge holder is not good to be a housewife. We don't need any grudge holders. You have to be able to be bounced back. Yeah, you have to get over it. Yeah, you have to get over it. Now, what about, so like, what are the big things that happened with your season last year was you and Danielle saw that was just like volcanic. What was going on there? So if Danielle ever came back, would you be like, you know what, bygones or bygones, or it'd be like, oh, this bitch. That's a little bit of a different story because she's unpredictable.

Yeah. She's unpredictable. She's unpredictable to the fact is she could get physically violent. Everyone's like, mine, do you point the water over her head? I mean, I really thought she was going to hit me, which I think was in her plan, obviously, plotting that she was going to pull my hair after the fact. But she came in there looking for an altercation. Everybody who's going to get physical and can't control their emotions is the Cali. Probably isn't the best to be on a show.

It's a natural housewife thing to throw a drink. I mean, that's a, that's housewife 101 FYI. It's natural, natural. It's natural, if you don't have to throw a drink or throw a drink or throw a drink on the show. Yeah, on that show, you threw water. I mean, most people throw bottles or glasses. I mean, think of all the brick walls

that have been hurt in the making of real housewives in New Jersey. I know, it's true. brick walls that have been hurt in the making of real housewives in New Jersey. I know. I know. It's a big throw. What happened to get throw water? Yeah, you get wet. Big deal. Yeah. So, so Salt Lake City is also a really strong start.

So, do you have a favorite of the women on there so far? I, you know, it's hard to pick a favorite already. I think they're all really strong and good. Believe it or not, I, Heather Gay, I find a very entertaining. She's, but she's not the cookiest. I like that Mary. I know that sounds crazy. She, I find her very intriguing herself.

Oh, yeah. There's a lot of layers there. And I think she, I think she also lives by, you know, the way that you're saying that they should live. You know, like you did when you came on the show, you're like, hey, here's where I met Joe. I was married, whatever, get over it. And she does that too, where she's like,

you know, here's, I'm married to my grandpa. I'm a pastor, I'm a pastor who somehow finds money to buy our monies suits or whatever. So come at me. And Andy told her, Andy asked her something. He's like, so what about all the people that are just horrified that you're with your step-grandfather? And she's like, you know what? It just takes time. Just digest it. Oh my god.

Yeah. She kind of gives me Ramona singer vibes in a weird way, because I could imagine Ramona be like, you know what? Where I'm come from, you know what? You marry your grandfather, Kai. That's just what happens. Okay. I'm so worried, I'm so worried. I can't do a hospital smell, okay? I'm so worried. I just can't picture having sex with someone that slept with my grandmother. That's like the creepy part to me.

But hey, I mean, whatever works for you is fine. I love marrying. Well, we're gay, so you have to really, you know, like, I guess, maybe I should say, oh, I'm gay, so everyone's not like, Hey, those are what gay people are like. But my community gay, like, there's plenty of people I slept with. You just can't think of who slept.

It's like when you write a writer, it's like, you can't think of who touched a handlebars before you or don't ever get on the ride. I know, just family members. I don't know. But it's fine. It's not a big deal. I mean, I normally didn't share men with Mark Sr.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, we're both pretty trampy at one point. So, God. What is? Speaking of Mark Sr. what is Mark Sr. up to these days? Mark Sr. was the only person I know through the pandemic who managed to go to work every single day and left her house.

She's like, I just can't stay home. I'll come to your house for dinner. But she'd like to do another gig because her office closed in the city and she works for an essential company which basically is an alcohol distributor. Yes, right. That's a good label.

Yes, so she was doing the accounting for them, so she went to work every single day and she's still working every day. She lives down the street, literally you have a mild down street, next door to Lexi. Oh, okay. Lexi, of course, is your plucky, what is Lexi's official role in your company? Um, basically creative director. Creative director. That's good.

I've always said she's like the real Margaret Joseph, her hand is up my ass. I mean, she does everything for me. Lexi, didn't Lexi go with you guys to Oklahoma when you went to the two seasons ago? How was that for her? Because she just basically was like dragged on this trip where Jennifer acted like a crazy person. And she just was sort of on the sidelines was she just like what am I doing here? Or was she just like this is the best thing ever?

No, she loves it. She loves to watch the drama. She gets involved in the drama. She's a bigger role this year so you get to see Lexi a lot more. Oh, good. Yes, yes, yes. Is Lexi from... Sorry, I have like all these Lexi questions. No, go ahead, go ahead. Is Lexi from Jersey originally or I always feel like she's from England She is she's for me. You're right. She's from England

She's from outside of Manchester, but I think she's been with me so long my voice is so infectious Yes, some of the March accent. Yeah, it's like a weird like English slash Jersey accent, which I'm like really fascinated by Yeah, we're together. She's been with me 12 years. Wow. And she's picked up. So it's English combo jersey. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah. So out of the housewives, who do you like in real life?

Like who are you real life friends with? Oh, real life friends with. From all of the, from all of the shows. You know, it's so easy to be friends with the New York Girls. So Durinda, which, you know, she now is a former housewife. But, you know, there's, easy to be friends with the New York girl. So Durinda, which you know, she now is a former housewife But you know, there's she could be coming back. We don't know what's gonna happen. So Durinda and Sonia. I see on a social a social level That's really about it that I get to hang out with I mean Bronwyn, which when she comes to town we get to eat dinner

Who else am I really friends with? I'm trying to think deondra that deondra from Dallas. I see when comes in from Texas. That's housewives. Patricia Achtel from Southern Charm. I hung out with her when I go to Charleston. So I get to see her. What's the other housewives story? I'm really getting to the Beverly Hills Post. Oh, Cynthia Bailey. I adore Cynthia Bailey. She's fabulous. story? I really get to, the Beverly Hills goes, oh, Cynthia Bailey, I adore Cynthia Bailey. She's fabulous. I don't really get to hang out with as many people. Ramona and I've had numerous arguments by the way. Really?

Yes, actually got into that. She, you know, we're very, she's like, thank God you got rid of this, stuck in pig tails. I'm like, you're like, I was like, I was like, you were a nude pantyhose. It went, what are you doing?

I'm like, what are you doing? Oh, a nude pantyhose. In my picture. Oh, a nude pantyhose fight. That's the serious fight. Yes. One of our watchers asked, do you watch any other Bravo shows beyond the Housewives? I don't, you know, sometimes I watch Below Deck, because when Kate Chestay was on, I love Below Deck. I dip in and out from other Bravo shows,

but not as much probably as I should. I'd love to watch other franchises. What else I watch below deck sometimes? I watch Southern Torn sometimes. I watch Summer House sometimes, because Summer House was good. I feel like I birthed some of those kids. Yeah.

Some always I always want to see what's going on there. So yeah I you know I like to I do watch a lot of bravo I always have it on in the background in my house I'd love to keep the TV on. Were you a bravo watcher before you were on Real House Waves? Not Jersey though which is actually kind of funny. I was Joe and I were very big New York Watchers. Oh yeah. You're very New York fans. Joe loved Ramona, which is very I hit that was his favorite house like before I got on the show. Wow until Until she insulted your big tails. I'm sure until she insulted his wife. That's right. Yeah. Well, that's just how Ramona rolls, you know, it's like getting mad at a bear for going through trash.

They are, you know, you know, you get mad at Ramona. It's okay. It's fine. You know what we's like getting mad at a bear for going through trash. Yeah, they are. You know, you get mad at Ramona. It's okay. It's fine. You know, what we've made up, we've had numerous fights and made ups and so it's fine. Someone, this is an interesting question. Someone asks, what would be the craziest theme dinner you could come up with if you were a charter guest on below deck? What would your theme dinner be on a yacht on below deck?

Oh, a theme dinner. What kind of theme dinners do I really like? Well I guess does it have to be yachtier could be anything I really want. Yeah, whatever you want. Yeah. Oh my God, I love every kind of theme. What oh my God, that's a tough one because I'm such a known eater. What kind of crazy thing? I wanted to do something totally creepy. Okay. Maybe like, you know, anything, because it just be officially, maybe like dead things from the sea. You know, we've got them in this sea. Feel like bottom of the sea. Like what could it be? Like a Titanic theme? Okay. Yes. Or something like that. Jewels of the sea. I don't know. What other kind of theme? That's the only kind of thing I could think of. I do a lot of theme dinners. I mean, I just did a huge theme party at my house,

which is I did Halloween. You guys saw I don't know if you saw. Yeah. Yeah. But that's such a good idea. What kind of theme? Generally. No, Gorgah, when every costume thing ever, is it just because he works out a lot. I mean, what is that? He's just so cute. Oh, he's so ripped and his body looks amazing. Oh, I know.? He's just so cute. You need so ripped in his body looks. The meat. God, I know, and he's just so dominant is. His Instagram. His Instagram's are so nice.

Like if you talk to someone today, you didn't talk to someone never. And people. He posted something today that says, isn't it funny? How when you get older, your eyesight gets worse, but you can see through people a lot better than when you could have before. You know, you're like, almost got that one. Almost got that one.

It's so nice. Tony Slavins, I love him. He's so cute. I know, by the way, Joe Morgan is so, I mean, he is a job. I love him. People melt from him. He's so cute.

His eyes are very mesmerizing when you're with him. Well, yeah, it's like that. It'sizing when you're with it. Well, yeah It's like that it's like when you're looking at the thing getting hypnotized They're always going back and forth like he's looking for an exit sign behind your head That's why he's literally hypnotizing you He is he is hypnotizing you Like in perfect shape. I mean the girls are so you like and Joan are like the champion We're great couple to we're great couple are. It was sucking you stomachs

sucking you stomach. Hide my dimples. So a lot of people right now on the chat are asking about this. A few months ago there was a documentary that came out about Action Park. I don't know if you saw that documentary. No, but did you ever go to Action Park when you were younger? Yes, I did. I did. You have any horror stories action park when you were younger? Yes, I did I did You have any horror stories that happened when you were there? It was like as crazy as the documentary minutes in I didn't see the documentary But I will tell you I'm creeped out about any kind of theme park. I just want you to know I mean you see the people who work at the imparks. Yes

About like crazy shit that happened to the rides break. Do people get molested? Yeah. No, no, no, no. No more less than that. It was one of the only things right now in culture that does not include someone getting molested. It's just people dying and flying off rides. Like, getting hurt, you know, fashion violence and either you know sexuality.

No, no, no, because that was always my biggest fear even when I would take my kids when they were little because people don't realize I did birth a son I do have a son but he does like do you guys know that yeah you guys know that about yeah yeah yeah and we're very close but I don't talk about it on the show that's my biggest fear of getting like thrown off a ride or slipping through something it was really skinny so I'd oh, we sit next to the fat kid and get strapped in. Thanks a lot. What the hell are we gonna do? Ronnie, that's what I was like, you make sure that he, not you personally.

Oh, whatever. We're the same. We're all the same. All right. No, no, but then it's like, then he's questioned. So then he can't slip out. I mean, yeah, right. I'm not throwing his ass out. I'm being. He was a major agent. He was a major agent. No, I don't have any horrors. But that was always my biggest fear because like people would be slip out like from act. I don't know the car news. They make you feel like they're going to molest you. Well, that's what I'm talking about. Be careful

there. I wasn't where it came from. I was like, you know what I mean? No, I know what you mean. I know people who are at the fairs when I was little, those guys behind their smoking, you know. Yeah. It's amazing, it's amazing the rides like that we go on as children.

Like there's just these, like especially carnivals with these like rickety things that spin you around. Like so fast and they're like assembled and reassembled like every day like there's no like safety of like careful like Lexus precision. It's just like oh yeah we uh just got to put together this like giant swing thing that's got to spin you around and hopefully won't go flying off. I know how many times the tilt of world I probably could have died I mean come on. Oh yeah. Well when we come back to New York we have to see you whether you come to a show or whether we just

Going out near your busy pink your busy pink office, which looks great. I'll make you dinner my new kitchen. I have Nothing for now, right? But can you please borrow the ovens of that lady down the street? Because that was my favorite thing. What was your what's what's my name? Margot Tucker. Margot Tucker. Margot, we always call her Jody. loss on it. It was yes, but that's good. Okay, listen, it's all good. It's fun. I read a bit. So it's great. Yeah, exactly. No more of that. Well, Margaret, this is like, we probably could have just kept on talking for another hour and a half, but we actually have to recap Salt Lake City. So we are going to have to let you go, but this was a true, true delight for both. Yeah. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. And I can't wait you guys come over for dinner and buy everybody. A hundred percent.

Bye. Bye. Happy birthday, Joe. Hi, Lexi. Bye. Happy birthday, Joe. Bye, Lisa. Bye, Lexi. Come on, commercials. Here comes one right now. Celebrity beef. You never know if you're just just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell.

Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserves session with these these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up any time soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood.

How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon Music or Wonder App. Wow, that was amazing. This is so exciting. Classic March. Yeah, it was so fun. She looks great. Oh my god. I want everything. I want her pink wallpaper. I want her floors. I want floors like that. I want Chevron floors. I'm a huge fan of Chevron floor. I'm like obsessed with Chevron floors lately. I think I started

with Animal Crossing because I think I had appeared a time where I designed my kitchen and Animal Crossing with Chevron floors. And then from there, it's just like very top of mind. It all comes back to Animal Crossing. It always does. Animal Crossing would be a great name for the real housewives of Salt Lake City, don't you think? Dear Crosse, they keep talking about all the animals they have, but they're just different kind of deers, right? Yeah. I'm just, you know, there's like deer, doe, buck. Um, yeah, lots of different years. A lot of.

Welcome to our live show. We're going to list up. Welcome. Okay, let's welcome to real housewives of Salt Lake City, Rica. Oh my God. This is, wow, I'm so excited with this first episode. I felt like I felt like the bravo like all the bravo peeps, all the bloggers, all the all the the Instagrammers, all the

mean makers, all the awesome. Everyone just like came together for this and has been like just very excited about this entire experience. And I'm like so glad the first episode was so good. Me too. And you know, there's been a lot of, because how many, how long have housewives been on, 15, 16 years or something crazy? So there's, you know, it's getting to that point where people are like, it's all that when we posted about doing this live show and people have come on Instagram with their, we are sick of housewives. I is it. I have had enough of this trashy wind. You think they're better than everybody else. No, no, no, no, it's like, okay, well, so then this comes on and it reminds you, oh, it's supposed to be trashy idiots, you know,

who are too rich for their own good, being amazing and horrible. And you know, it also like Bravo to Bravo because this has been our first new real housewives and quite some time where they actually teed it up properly. You know, Potomac, Dallas, Potomac and Dallas were the last most recent ones and those are both supposed to be different shows. And so they kind of had like a, and same with even Miami and they kind of had this weird out of the gate energy of like, it was like a different show that was re-edited to be something else. And so for a lot of people, they picked up on that and they were like, eh, and they kind of, as a result, all three franchises got slow starts.

And like only now is Potomac really getting like the credit that it really deserves. And I'm glad that Bravo was like, we are going to like spend like a year, get this just right, and have a proper launch. And I think like you can really tell the difference. It feels, it has like that, that, that correct energy. Well, what's interesting is it was completely re-edited, believe it or not. I was it.

But it was, it was completely re-edited as another housewives show. Cause it came out as a housewives show. And they were like, no, this isn't working. So they ended up firing the production company and giving it to Shed and Shed redid the whole thing. So that's why it's taking so long to come out. So from what I read, I mean,

he knows if it is true, because you know this comes from Sashamadiya. But it's interesting that it was redone and it's like the housewives' East housewives, so of all time. Yeah, they took the time to do it, right? Like they, like they said it wasn't working and rather than just like force it out, they were like, let's address this

and let's make it the way it needs to be. And we had a great career. And also, you know, we're in a time where we're really trying to understand each other, you know, just in our society. It's like, we need to understand different cultures and this and that just in our society. It's like, we need to understand different cultures and this and that. And no one has really said like, no, we really need to understand how, how fucked up the fuck, fuck upiest white people are, you know, because

this is like all different understand. This is white people like you have never seen white people, okay? They keep a very secretive way of life. This kind of white people are very secretive about their way of life over there. And you've never seen white people like this. I'm like, oh my God, those are like the new version of Aladdin. You'll never see white people like this. Just when you thought you knew white people, but you know what, but to that point, actually, the show is surprisingly diverse, right? We actually have two people of color on there, which we never even thought we'd even see one in a cameo appearance on the show. We've got two cast members who are people of color.

And on top of that, we also have a diversity of religion. We assume to be all Mormon. And we have Pentecostal, we have Muslim, we have like memories of Judaism. And you know, like I'm sort of surprised by that too. And you know what, actually my biggest surprise is Ronnie, when we looked at the trailer and we like, we went frame by frame and I think our number one takeaway was that this entire season was very garrage. Everything was like gray, beige, brown, and I was like,

ugh, but actually I thought the house is really nice. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that how these people are rich to the other thing. These are like legit. These are legit rich people. Yeah. And it's hard to remember what that's like after the past few weeks of Orange County where it's like, I'm calling you from a Walmart. It's like your face climbing from a Walmart. This is not mine. I know. It nice to see just like like ridiculously large foyers again. I was like, ah, yes, we're back on Bravo. And also when it's also nice to see what happens when you have too much money, like when you have too much money to put into your face, there is such a thing as just, I mean, there is such a thing as too much guys, okay?

Yeah. I like I understand overeating. I understand wanting to put too much into your body. I get it. But I enjoyed the chewing and the smelling of it. This is a lot of, wow, I mean, the jaw lines. I'm just asking you to find the whole thing. It's great.

Lots of jaw lines. Also, loving are friends of, that are, the family members and the friends of already are like a very high caliber Yeah, there's like we see some interesting wigs. We see some interesting Dresses we have a gay son. There's like really a lot on a lot of different levels for us to really think our teeth And yeah, so let's get into it We have new housewife music Let's get into it. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, gigantic lips, I'm not sure which one yet. It's like Salt Lake City, Utah. It's an effort's magnificent mountains and well-plastic shops.

You know, we get the whole class ski looks. Excaffeinate on here. A lot of that. Yeah. There's also an elite social circle fueled by beauty wealth and perfection I mean some good one of them going he can't find tits because my past excertion retired What so like city is most known for is the Mormon Church. And then if I remember correctly, there's like a zoom in on like other

the church like big old temple, right? Yes, and then one of the brown haired ladies, I'm not sure which one yet. But first of all, I have a question just starting off, is there a lot of air pollution in Salt Lake City? Because everyone talks like Martin. It seems to be still like every single person. Everyone's talking like that, especially through next.

Tony, yeah. Why do people think we look the same? Just gonna be have the same here and the same voice and the same face, the same body and almost the same names. There's nothing Salt Lake City's got. It's a thing with perfection. And a lot of smoky.

A lot of smoky. Smoking. A lot of smoky love smoking wow No, no, I was gonna you go on one of the brand new it is it's not it's like a song from outside. It's my She's like a quick lesson on how to be Mormon don't drink don't swear treat your body like a tempo That's not how to be Mormon. Don't drink, don't sweat. Treat your body like a tapo. Ding!

Yeah. To be a Mormon, we are taught honesty and integrity. And it's like, you fake, you're phony. You bitch. I'm gonna talk my way for the first like five minutes. Everyone's gonna sort of have, you know, classic March voice, because like, I have to still transition out of like,

being so close to our Markets voice. So like, you know, you fake, you fake. fake. You know, it's like city. Wow. No one's going to get tips now because my plastic surgeon retired. Right? That's for you. That's for you. That's for you. That's for you. Brick and gun. That's for you. Brick and gun. And most importantly, it's not like city would talk to watch out for it. And someone's like, Oh, really? You're gonna go with Mary who fucked her grandfather

Our friendships define us and our choices can destroy us and then someone goes how can they not be swing as I was like Wow, I am so beyond it. It's ridiculous. I know. I know when they said our choices could destroy us And it shows a lady drinking a pint I am so beyond it. And that's ridiculous. I know. I know. And I love when they said our choices could destroy us. And it shows the lady drinking a pint. She's like, hmm. That's here. That's here. It's going to bring you down, honey.

You think you know who we are, but you are wrong. And then we see who we find out to be Heather going, own it. Be accountable and own it. I'm like, so you're Lisa Rina. Is that where you're trying to tell us? I don't care. She is. She is Lisa Rina. She doesn't just have the lips, she has the lips and an open mouth. She's someone who talks like that.

And she yelves everything. Like in her personal all the other time, we know she's yelves everything out. I feel like, I feel like Heather is the sort of person who, like when you're hanging out with her and she wants to take a picture, she grabs your arm really intensely and is like, hold on, let's do a selfie and you're like, you get yanked over into her and then you do the, you get like right up in your face and then all of a sudden the selfie is over and you're like, what just happened to my life? And then you pretend you don't know her. And she comes in for a third and a fourth. Selfie. So, and you're like, who are you? So then we start

with Jen. Jen is like, in this town, I'm Queen V and MVP. Yeah, this is the opening line. She's not just like declaring it into either, but she's sort of. Okay. Well, since this is our first, our first episode of this and it's the first time we're seeing Salt Lake City, let's watch this. Let's watch it. Here, I'll fast forward, is my screen up on the screen pen?

Here it comes, look at that. Okay, so let me fast forward to this part so we can see these. Please do. All time, media. I know. You guys, isn't this fun? Watch, see, this is where she has the beer. They're like oh my god

My choices beer Okay, so here we go. Let's get over here. This is a long opening. Geez. Yeah, well, they got to really sell it to us There's a lot of fur a lot of pink Lot of space like her her open mouth face Okay, so here we go. This is her. She's like, I'm Jen. Yeah. So she says, in this town, I'm Queen B and MVP, which is of course what you just said. Yeah. And she's like in a feather dress. And then she's like, like, I shimmy, I shimmy. Yeah. Yeah. Shimmy. By the way, I am going to call upon you, Ronnie, at during her first scene, I'm going to call upon you, Ronnie, during her first scene, I'm going to call

upon you to show her interstitial because it cracked me up. We'll get to that. I'm just giving you a warning to be ready for that. Okay. So then we get one of the brown haired ladies named Lisa, who's, you wouldn't know it here. You wouldn't know it yet. She's the monster, right? Lisa's the monster.

I think you can know it by now. I think you could see this in notice of monster. You can see this right now. Yeah. I think it's fair to assume they're all monsters until you know any better. Okay. That's a good way to look at it. Okay.

She's a monster. She's a horrible human being. And she looks like the designer from that million dollar decorator show. Mary. Oh, Mary. Mm-hmm. What's her face? Karen was based off of from Mill and Grace. Mary. Matthew. Oh, Mary. Mm-hmm. What's her face? Karen was based off of From Will and Grace.

Yes. So she says, when you take cheap shots, always expect a hangover. Okay. Yeah. And then we meet Whitney, who's like the pretty Danny Barrett blonde. He's like, oh my God, I was Mormon, but now look at me. I'm on a pole. I think that Whitney will secretly be the most evil. And her thing is, this rose isn't scared to handle a little prick. I'm sure your husband loves that line.

He's like, I'm sure that's gonna feel great every single time. Thanks, thank you so much. Thank you for announcing that, Whitney. Hey Justin, your wife loves a little prick. Well, watch that be a storyline. Be like, well, he doesn't have the biggest dick and then they all gossip about it

and it becomes like a whole fight on their vacation. We know how these shows work. And then we come with the winner. I'm already telling you, I'm rigging this conversation for the winner of the best new voice of the year. Madass, she's like, jealousy is a disease to which I say, got well, some. And then the next one is really the one that everyone's been talking about. This is Mary and she says, I love God, but I will read you like a scripture.

And she's like very happy, like right, I read you like a scripture. Yeah, so that clock I'm dancing a church. And then we meet Heather, who I guess is kind of, is she the lead? I don't know. Why don't you get that vibe? I get that vibe. Well, she's center. What are they holding by the way?

Can we see what they're holding? Is it snowflakes or snowflakes? They're holding snowflakes. OK, yeah, because she's, well, she's, I feel like this is appropriate. I feel like Heather and Jen are both like the co-leads. They're the ones I feel like they have the most screen time. And Heather's is, Jen, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, Heather's is just like my pioneer ancestors. I'm trying to blaze a new trail, which I love that she worked pioneer ancestors at the Riteg Line. That's like a hard core Mormon. She's like the Mormon. She's like the Brad and Bader and Mormon, or whatever she called the purebred and Bader and Mormon. Yeah, she comes from a long line of Mormons all the way back to the covered wagon days. She gets triggered by the Oregon Trail. Yeah. And at one point, she's like, oh yeah,

that car was my cousin. I'm like, we know. I mean, it's Salt Lake City. When you take your bread moorman, like everyone is literally your cousin. Okay. I mean, your name is Heather. Her name is Whitney. We just know your cousins. Yeah, we got it.

Okay, so here we are. Hey. Hey. Hey. The music is very much, you know that like, you know that one Christmas song that's like, and you know how there's a version of it that they play around Christmas time? That's very serious.

We're going to make an action movie. That's what the entire show is like. Okay. So there's one of the Mormon heroes blowing his horn in a statue, and then there's some church, there's lots of temple churches, things, there's some strollers,

and then we go to Gen Shale. Yeah, we're at what we find out later is called the Shasha-Lay. This is her way of trying to brand it, and we hear a guy being like, honey, where are you at, baby, where you at? And then, so this is where we see Jen's title screen. And before you show it, you can get a Q-Dop

while I describe it. I had to watch it like five times because she does this thing where she sort of like falls back in slow motion, she goes like, she's like, I know, it was like, it would like, it reminded me of like a video game character. Oh my gosh, she is doing that. Okay, let me show you.

It reminded me of like a video game character in like karaoke revolution. She's like, or like, this is what a sim looks like trying to be seductive. Could you show that, Ronnie? Yeah, that's coming. Yeah, it's, I, I watch it so many times. It's like, it's like, it's like our, it's like her head is going on a different speed than her body. Yes, and she's also got quite a squat going. She looks like she's just pulling over on the side

of the free way to pop the squat. She's like, honey, I'm sorry, I didn't go last time I had the chance, but I have to go now. Pull over, I'm going in the car. And she just stands there and squats it out. She's beveling in the wrong direction or something. And so she just throws her head back. I'm just like the car and she just like stands there and squats it out. She's like beveling in the wrong direction or something And so she just throw like throws her head back. I'm just like a transpired. I'm like I like that. Let's make a music video of her like let's make it like a David Gweta music video of Jen's interstitial

like let's make it like a David Guetta music video of Jim's interstitial. Okay, so what does she do? So her husband is a coach and you can tell because he's very coachy while he's making breakfast. He's like wow wow wow look at me I'm cooking I've got my friends Chris on Sturkey's down with breakfast. Stunned there. Stunned there. Stunned there. Yeah, yeah, so we meet our husband is Sharif and also knows coach Shaw and so her sons come in. It's Sharif Jr and Omar I believe and and Gentel's as a marion. Sharif. I mean, that's pretty cute Omar. Sharif. You know what? I didn't realize that, but that is adorable. By the way, I'm like a little upset that they didn't cast any family members from the Jets, because the Jets all moved to Utah, I believe. And of course, I'm talking about West Side Story. Well, I also would have accepted that. Softy, breakfast, softy, turkey, and so on. I just had an ex sandwich for breakfast.

No, I mean the Jets from the 80s. Remember the 80s band the Jets? Okay, okay. I found out I got a crush on you. No. Okay, so the kids the kids come in and I'm going to be like, I found out I got a crush on you. No. Okay. So the kids jet the kids come in and Jen's like we have a face time marriage basically because he's a coach and so he's up at five and he comes home

at midnight. Like what is he fucking coaching? I'm like, I'm like, enjoy your season two storyline. Uh, you can talk to Shasha from Patomac about how that's gonna work out. Yeah, Tha Tha-Lay. Tha Tha Tha-Lay. If that a plan.

So this, this marriage, I don't know, I think this marriage is okay because I don't think in broken marriages has been to make that much breakfast, honestly. Like, I've never heard someone like, I'm leaving my husband. Well, after he makes turkey sausage for sauce eggs bacon Yeah, his breakfast game is very strong. Yeah, you stay with him. Man who makes that much food for sure

So she's like so people so she moved to Utah from from Tonga when she was young and she says people in Utah have no idea What I am. I mean in Utah. I'm black because they just don't owe any better and I have no idea what I am. I mean, in Utah, I'm black because they just don't know any better. And she, yeah, and so she's saying that about like, yeah, they have sort of like a FaceTime marriage, and which I think is what you just said. And then they're sort of like ribbing their son about like, he's, I guess, applying for medical school.

So like asking about, you know, medical things and stuff, you know, usual. Well, they also have a very romantic, like, how they met story, which I really, this is what I'm waiting for you guys. Like, why am I always single besides the fact that I'm horrible and don't want to be around people? Um, I'm waiting for a story like this. Okay, here's the story. He went up to her. She was sitting down someplace. I guess I'm an air college. No, no, they went to college together, I think. Oh, so he saw her somewhere and she's just sitting there and he's like, my heart stopped, which, I mean, I want a husband who's heart stops, like totally.

So then he went up to her and he says, is that seat taken and she just gave him a dirty look and was like, well, no one's sitting there. And he's like, that's how we started. I mean, that is love right there. That is love. It is someone and they're like, I'm gonna make you turkey sausage.

Yeah. Yeah. I want her to write shoebox greetings cards. Like, it's your birthday. No one told me. I get just like her own version. Yeah. So yeah, they're teasing their kids and stuff.

And she talks about how her husband's Muslim and all she really knew was Mormonism. And so when they were getting together she tried to get him to convert and he was like hello they didn't even accept black people until like last week so I don't think that's gonna work out and she's like okay so I'm gonna be Muslim instead. So we're definitely not starting from a Mormon place on this show which I love not being anti-Mormon But I love the expectations are turned on its head

So then they start thinking you can't really be anti-Mormon because we don't really know what's event I feel like it's more secretive than Scientology really like what do we really know about Mormonism? I watched all of big love so I feel like I know that that's not really fair Even though that was a great show. I only know like the stuff about like the underwear. I think almost everything I know about Mormonism, I may unfortunately know from Shane from Real House as a Orange County, I'm not sure. And porn.

And like it's like a porn subgroup or whatever. It's like there's like an entire like Mormon porn as a whole thing. So anyway, it's like, you're going to over and knocks on your door and ask you if you need me thing. I mean, it's really set up while. Yeah, it really folds into like classic porn tropes, you know. It's really good. It's like uniform and also knock on the door stuff. It just works.

It just, it's lazy person. Where Dick just shows up at your door asking, what can I do for you? So then they're asking, so they're asking asking Omar who I guess is the younger son if he's kissed a girl yet And he's like no and then then Jen's like well, let me tell you something if you kiss a girl You may think she's cute. But guess what you can contract herpes probably AIDS It's like well, we are we are starting a season here, aren't we? Yeah, wow, in the kitchen, like, uh, no, mom. Right. Yeah.

They're like, uh, sorry, mom. And she's like, well, do you know what sexting is? How about that? And they're like, no, we don't know what sexting is. Mom, please tell us. Yeah. So then we go over to Yelp talking Heather, who's Yelp talker. So I can't, I'm Heather. And she's going to her office Heather, who's Yelp talkers.

Like, hi, I'm Heather. Bam. And she's going to her office, which is like a Botox place. And there's a 15 minute Botox parking, which is. Yeah, that's in and out. It's high volume, high volume business, you know? Literally a high volume business with Heather. Come on in.

So she walks in. She's got a bunch of teenagers working behind the desk like I'm assuming it's like the Utah version of the OC Angels, like the Botox Angels. Yeah, there's a bunch of kids there and they're like, hey partner when she comes in, she's like, has bad snacks. And she tells us her story. She's like, I've lived in Utah since I was 15. The Mormon religion believes that we can be perfect.

Perfection is attainable. So that's why I have a beautiful nature center. Because you're not perfect the way you are. Well, I don't really think fast what they mean when they say you can be perfect. But I'm up for using religion for what you need it for. I just call it like this, called white bread body of Christ and go to town. Very religious. That is perfection in its own way, right?

You know, so yeah, she says that, you know, like she has like tons of Mormon ladies who come on through and, you know, and she could like stick her hand in and it's like a signature hand into a river of money and she's like you know a taming perfection is a Mormon pastime and now her business is worth 20 she started with zero and her business is worth 20 million dollars. And I am a pure Brad pedigree pioneer woman. My ancestors came across the plains as pioneers. They settled in American Fort Cut or something. Mark City, Utah.

I married a Mormon man. I had Mormon daughters and every descendant, it's a Mormon. I was like, okay, you need to calm down with your fucking legs. Over the top. Mormon bragging, okay? Yeah, like I think like listen, have pride in your religion.

That's more like, I felt like you were sort of like covered wagon shaming me a little bit. Like so. You too, I more like, I felt like you were, I felt like she was sort of like covered wagon shaming me a little bit like. So I was like, I was like, I was a rip, I'm having a motor in my car. Yeah, I'm sorry. My family came to Ellis Island and then we didn't take any other vehicles, but sorry.

Yeah, she is definitely wagon shaming people. She is like, she's like, I can't even wagon wheel pasta. That's my favorite, cousin to the most perfect Mormon pasta. You know what we call the Donner party? Quitters. So it's a little, little deep cut, the like, covered wagon shaming deep cut. Anyways, so her kids are all there and they're all getting facials and she's like the family that facials together stays together Which I don't know the truth I think there could actually be some truth behind that Now the family of the facials together does not stay together

Well depends what kind of facial if we're talking about Mary. It's a whole different story Gross story. Gross. That is too much. We are talking about Mormon people. These are good Mormons and Pentecostals. This is not right. So she's like brought you some greasy face monkeys which means her daughters which is super sweet. So they're all getting like facials and Botox and boobs putting their face like whatever you do with these places. And they're all getting like facials and Botox and boobs put in their face like whatever you do with these places and They're gonna have a big 14th birthday for Amber Heather or whatever. No Whitney or a weather and weather My daughter weather

Weather and hit me so one of the biggest things my family overcame when they were crossing the pan Weather and One of the biggest things my family overcame when they were crossing the pan. It's the leather. The leather and broken wheels. So, then if you ever were wondering about White privilege, here's some. She's like, so, my husband family, so Howard Hughes comes in, hires my grandfather in law as his driver and henchmanman and then loved him and just loved Mormons and when he passed the gay family inherited a huge portion of his estate. Yeah. So the gay family is worth billions.

Maybe I was like, well, I want to start a gay family. Look, I always thought starting a gay family was just the same starting any other family. If I knew I'd have billions, I'd fucking do it. Maybe that's why the Mormons were like pushing so hard for prop hate all those years ago. Maybe they were just like so resentful of the gay family that they got confused. There will be no more gay marriage. Fuck that gay family. Always boss gets around with all their Howard Hughes. But there will be no more gay marriage. And then someone got the memo all confused.

Yeah, they were really just pissed off at the wagon family. They were just mad at others in laws. That's so now everything sorted out. Yeah, they were really just pissed off at the wagon family. They were just mad at the others in laws. That's all. So now everything's sorted out. Okay, great. So I basically married into Mormon royalty, but it all came crashing down when I divorced my husband five years ago. Divorce is not an option in Utah. I guess it is. You just got one. You just got one. It's literally an option for you. So then she's like, yeah, in my experience, Mormons don't drink, don't smoke, don't curse, don't have sex. Listen, I tried to drink.

I tried not to drink or smoke or swear. I love rap music. I love black men. I love homosexual. All the things I'm drawn for do not make a good Mormon woman. I was like, well, way to make us eight Mormons like, right now, like, she's like, Mormonons hate gay people, black people, and cigarettes. Yeah. I'm a pure, bred Mormon. And hear all the things that we stand for. I was like, Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. So she's telling her kids, you haven't sex yet. I will let you experiment, but I will not let you drown. I'm like, okay, crazy. I'm a facial. So then we see our first glimpse of the Utah beer. In this case, it looked like it was a bunch of elk. It didn't look as, they looked elky to me. I don't think they looked moosey.

I don't know, maybe it's one from the chat could weigh in. Kyle, if you get a definitive answer from our chat, feel free to put it up on the screen for everyone to see. Kyle is working behind the scenes to to facilitate this whole thing. Hey, Kyle. Yeah, that's Matt who's back there. Well, Matt and Kyle, I think are both there to be honest. I think I'll have both of you. Yeah, if you guys see any comments that you want to put on the screen, just up, pace them into this chat here and put them on. Yeah, especially if people have really strong opinions on whether it was a moose or an elk or something else.

So like, and again, we are talking about the animals we saw and not any cast members. Yeah, I mean, I know I'm a stupid person. Like, I'm under no illusion, not a smart person, but I really realize sometimes in these housewives shows how stupid I am. Because I was like, look, it's a deer. Hey, that's a deer Hey, a peacock. It's a peacock with antlers and no tails I literally don't even know what I'm looking at Okay, so we see how the moves sleeping the moves to here and then we hear

Meredith's best feature so far that she has an amazingly drool gay son. And first we hear him, his name is Brooks and he goes, mom, dad, are you guys ready? I've been ready for like the past 15 minutes. Let's go. Yeah, he's like super gay love. And I was like, guys, ready. And that's why I knew his scene was coming up and I immediately started putting on lip gloss because he is definitely a lip gloss cream

Like his lips are always like shiny cut We totally we totally support him It's you know by the way Wednesday night was a great night for gay sons on On Bravo. Let's just let's hear it for the all the gay sons and the great gay daughters too Maybe not the gay family, all the gay sons and the great gay daughters to maybe not the gay family but the gay sons and daughters So he's like mom dad I say I am ready and he's like I've been that a mother and then we meet the worst husband of this show or It's the most fighting yeah so far

What's his name? Yeah, Seth So Seth's like so how long are we gonna be hiking for how many again? How long are you high for and so fighting. Yeah, so far. What's his name? Yes, Seth. So, Seth, like, so how long can we be hiking for? How long can we hike for? And so, apparently, this family is going on a hike together, which really speaks of, like, strain, like, like, if there's any time you wanted to, like, showcase a family trying to pretend, like, they have a functional unit going on. Have them all go for a hike with their gay son because you're not. Yeah, someone going to die on that trip. And you can tell that they never hike together because I, oh, animal prints. God, disgusting.

Also, the husband comes out and looks down at Meredith shoes and he's like, um, those are not high heels. And she's like, um, they're not high heels. He's like, yeah, those are more like aspen not far city. It's like, yeah. So sad. Sad. Yeah.

Still have. I can't wait to watch her lead you stupid. You're married to Brooke. Brooke shields. You better. For real. Have some respect. Brooke shields meets Sarah Paulson.

Have some respect. But also he's probably still jealous of her relationship with the son, because she's got such a weird, weird relationship with her. I think, I mean, me and my maybe it's because I grew up, me and my mom would like throw, throw jars at each other to like show our left, or like, you know, still each other's cigarettes, things like, like, we had more contentious. And this, they're real weird.

They're like, oh, come here. Let's hug. And then they just stay hugging for like 10 minutes. It's like, I'm going to go to commercial break and then they come back and they're still like, oh, I love you so much. Johnny, are you talking about Seth and Meredith or Meredith and Brooks?

Meredith and Brooks. Oh, OK. Wasn't there a singer, Meredith Brooks? I don't know. I don't know. Meredith Baxter-Burney. Meredith Baxter-Burney? Why I thought Meredith Brooks sang the song, I'm a know. I don't know. Meredith Baxter Bernie. Meredith Baxter Bernie. Why thought Meredith Brooks sang the song,

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother. I could be wrong. Someone tell us. Anyway, so they're gonna go, they're gonna go on a hike and we learned that they moved to Utah seven years ago for Seth's work and then they've been sort of part time there for the past five years and they raised Seth as a city kid in case you couldn't tell. Yeah, in case you couldn't tell.

And she's like, yeah, I've never even been to a sabar in my entire life. And the husband's like, yeah, you were from a high rise, right? So she tells us their story and she's like, yeah, you know, everyone in Utah, it's just like an underlying kind of storm. You don't get that in Chicago. I'm like, you know, I'm in Chicago. Who is she pissing off in Chicago? Chicago is like the nicest city.

And she's like, yeah, you know, Chicago. They're just so fucking rude all the time. I'm like, it's literally like, it's like, I know. I think everyone's been so kind to us in Chicago, but whatever. She's like, yeah, we're like, it's like, I know. I think everyone's been so kind to us in Chicago about whatever. She's like, yeah, I'm like, for my son, I'm like, I am all these children and I'm broke. And like, making up some master off from college

to live at home with me. He can do my makeup. And then they just cut to him, like, putting on lip gloss on her. And he's like, oh my God, perfect, my God, perfect. That's hard. When I hold a long time, come on. Hashtag blessed.

By the way, it is confirmed from the people tuning in that Meredith Brooks is a singer. Thank you, everyone, for giving us that confirmation that we desperately needed. Someone said, yes, elk. Okay. Yes, elk. Oh, God.

So Seth is gonna be, we find out that they're, I guess they're driving on the way of this hike or wherever. There's some, there's some part of Utah at this point, whether it's their house or the car. And we find out that Seth is heading off to Chicago tomorrow for work. And the problem is that Meredith has to stay in Utah for her store and her jewelry design business. And she's like, yeah, we have a lodge. We have a large celebrity following

Charlie is there in Rihanna Scarlett Johansson Suzanne Summers Angelian Linda Dannell the list of M and M Moded back the Bernie actually it's funny that you mentioned it before

The list goes on and on. I'm like what am I? What does that mean? They have a large following? Do these people follow her on IG? Do they? I don't know. I was I was wondering. I was wondering what she said that to you. I was wondering if people at 7-11 say that like I own a 7-11 and it's amazing. So many famous people follow us. I mean Brad Pitt, Charlize, Scarlett, it's like it's a store people go in there, okay? Yeah. After your own dick. So they park at this creepy reserve and I'm only saying creepy because it's them there and they look like they hate each other. I have a feeling someone's something this is like a murder scene from a nighty channel show. Okay. So they're all

walking together and says like honey, make sure you keep talking because wildlife does not like noise. And say, you know, you usually bring a speaker, honey. And then they come upon. Well, he's like before that happens though, he's like, well, I could do acapella. What do you guys want? 80s, 90s, and Brooks goes silence. Hahaha.

Silence would be great. Thanks. So she's like, what's going on in Chicago? I mean, and he's like chasing the whale, guys. Chasing the whale. I already don't like him just for saying that. Chasing the whale. Like, what's this?

He's like a David Mammoth plague. Like, how can you have a, I don't want him to come back with a peg leg just like from chasing that whale or whatever also I think he's scamming people because no person in real business is chasing the whale yeah It's like literally a marine biologist who is trying to like I need a whale Or a Margaret like I found a whale I found a whale we're a Margaret, like, you never have to have a whale. I found a whale. We're going to put it in our clothes. Won't be a problem.

You know what? I'm count assuring that whale. And I, I chased him down and I count as suit as that. Listen, maybe he found a whale and like Michigan. He's like, it, or like, like Michigan, right? Why can't I remember my great legs now? This is what happens when I watch the shows, okay? So he tells us, he's doing the interview session with her and he's like, you know what?

You can never have too much money and you can never have too much sex. I'm probably doing better on the money side, the space and right and totally overworked, totally under sex. And she's like, that's not funny. That's not nice. Don't talk about chasing whales and then say you're under sex. We don't we know what that whale is code for. You got a mistress. Okay. I'm saying it right now. Yeah. So then they come to you a little dog print in the snow. They act like I mean it looks like a viewer print in the stuff. Like you were just a little paw. He was like it looks like the Chinese theater for Bueller. He like put his paw print in and then they like had like a whole ceremony. Yeah, it's like a jiggy paw.

pop rintin and then they like had like a whole ceremony. Yeah, it's like a jiggy. Paul, a little. Yeah, you're. Our chickie. And Brooks is like, that's like a bear. That's not a miss. That's all large animal, whatever it is. He's like, yeah, you know what?

If you get a picture of that, attacking Brooks, you know how many followers he would get on the Instagrams? He's like, dad, I don't want followers of the expense of my life. It's like, dad, that's disgusting. And I'm not even talking about what you said. I'm literally talking about your outfit today. Like, why would you wear that here? So then there's like a dear moose lion thing or something. There's another. I didn't write it down. Well, let's just say it was a Griffin. You talk Griffin. And then see, this is what I wrote down. I wrote down gravel, Kim Devois. I hear handray. Oh my goodness. Oh, yeah. This one really. This is Lisa. Yeah.

It was gravely, but now it's like now it's Lisa. Henry, oh my goodness, you got to get up soon. You want five more minutes. You want me to pick out your clothes, Henry? Henry, come on, come on. This might be a good time to insert insert our air filter ad. She's okay. Get your get yourself an air filter, Lisa.

So I said, oh my god, you got the worst hair in Britain. Oh my god, Jack John, hairy. You know what? Tentlaw Todd needs a sweater. I just wanted to have a sweater. And she's like, she doesn't look like the person that would have that for you. She's like a just like really pretty well put together

thin lady, you know, I think I look exactly like the person who has that voice. I feel like yeah. Harvey Firestein and who has that voice. I feel like, yeah, I'm going to be harvesting and hairspray the movie just be like, I'm Tracy. No, to me, like she sure gives me like hardcore, like long island, like that smokestack long island vibe. And I don't, did you notice the day core? Like we love to talk about day core on these shows. Did you notice the day core that she put into her children's rooms? Well one of them says hustle. Yeah over the kid who's sleeping. There's a there's a big

Like picture that just says hustle verb the most important word ever I'm like really is it that important because you know what you didn't hang your sign up So don't talk to me about Hussle, I'm gonna get a sign up on the wall. You just have yet resting over on the bed. It's like the laziest way to put up a hustle sign. It's like a little propped up on top of the bed. Oh my god, so we're all of my paintings behind me. Oh my god, I'm a terrible person. But your paintings don't say hustle. Your paintings are of like icy shambadour and Luan.

You're paintings don't say hustle your paintings are of like icy shambah door in the wind Like literally the two people who would just like sit on top of a couch and be like well Yeah, he has hustle and then they've got this dog and they're putting a sweater on him and also her husband might hate her too But it's also 5.45 in the morning and you can't really tell because he's just like so shell shocked Yeah, I'll get a sweater at him. It's really cold, literally cold. And she's like, I'm from New York. And I was like, yes, of course. We had to see.

Like, you might as well just be holding up a torch and like just be dressed all in green. Like, we already know. We just want to point out also that in the other room, the other kid doesn't have a sign that says hustle It just says grit which I don't know what part of like being raised in like a mansion has anything to do with grit but hey you know So she's like when I graduated my parents said get out and so I came to Utah to go to school and that you know what I was supporting to religion. I was born to wish and I'm woman by choice. And my mom has a strong love of God. So she wanted, you know, she wanted that for us.

So when woman missionary knocked on our door, she said, Oh my God, I've been praying for you to come. And here you are. Well, if you already have like a strong love of God and you're literally praying to God, and then someone else comes and says, here's a different like version of God like it feels like I don't totally understand that but listen everyone finds their own path. Lately, this version of religion I've ever heard like you know what I really want to raise my kids Until then, I'm just going to pray to something. I mean, now suddenly she's a Mormon who voted for Bernie, you know? You know, that shows you Dorded Door Cambossing works. It works. So they're putting Kendall the the the dog into some sort of like ballerina outfit. It's like pink. It's like nothing resembling even close to a sweater. It's just like a very sheer material with like a pink frilly stuff around it.

It's poor dog. And, and she's like, well, I met John through my sister who actually served in the LDS mission together. And you know what? My sister may have had a crush on John. I mean, which I can't blame her, you know? I'm like, I like the way that she laughs that off while her sister's like, you fucking bitch, so my man. That's the impression I got to you. I was like, oh, so your sister was dating a guy and you stole, you stole a guy from your sister, right? Great.

And she's like, well, I don't like your book, it'd be company in addition to that. We had a few liquor companies. I was like, okay, okay, I like that. And then she does like super annoying white lady naming of her to kill her. She just, we're currently making a vodka called tequila. And there's Vida tequila, Sue Dad tequila, Ola te oh, to Keela. Taco. Keela.

Arito, Keela. Some bravo to Keela. Keela. Coco, some bravo to Keela. To Keela. To Keela. To Keela. I'm sure other Mormons cared that I own a to Keela company,

but the important thing is I don't. I just like that she chose like the most like basic first level, like duo, lingo, Spanish words, the name her tequila after. Yeah, like like, like, Ola tequila. Yeah, it's like Keto Pond tequila. Se, Señora tequila. Adios tequila. Manzana the key, lah. So then the family gets in the family Porsche. Now the big car here is the Porsche.

Everybody loves their Porsche on this show. And that's a, that's a actually separation from most house-life shows or departure, if you will, because it's usually a Range Rover, right? I think I did see a Range Rover in here, but I could be wrong. I could be wrong. But I agree. There's a lot of Porsche. A lot of Porsche in the mountains. You know, higher altitude, you know, it changes your perspective on vehicles. So they're in this car

at the whole family, the two sons and at least and her man. And she's like, I need a Diet Coke from Sonic, okay? To which John replies with, I'm gonna get two new tattoos. So already there's like a dysfunction doing on here with the community. Yeah. Yeah, he's saying that he wants a gorilla tattoo and a wolf. He's like, that's wacky.

And I was like, you know what's wacky? This whole family acts like a binge eating disorder person. Okay, this is totally how I, this is like a secret look into my binge eating disorder. Okay. Fast food to fast food to fast food. They go to every fast food place within a mile. I see you're getting choked up about it. I want to talk about the gorilla and the wolf tattoos. Don't do that. Please John. I don't know you. I don't know what we have in store that's not gonna work out well.

And I have a weird feeling he's gonna do it like annoyingly like one on his shit and one like right on his torso. And it's gonna be in like high contrast, thick outlines. And it's just not gonna, it's, John, it's just no way that a wolf and a gorilla will work well. And like why, why a wolf and a gorilla, why? Why like why why a wolf in a gorilla why why why are you doing that what I think that he's saying he's getting tattoos oh no those are actually sonic tattoos I used to go to a

restaurant when I was a kid that they would give you those little fake tattoos and you put them on you and I was like was that sonic and so I looked up sonic tattoos and I was like it is sonic but they And so I looked up Sonic tattoos. And I was like, it is Sonic. But they're Sonic the head trod. Do you know how many people have a Sonic the head trod tattoo? Wow. Yeah, a lot. And not a revert. It's been a night of creepy revelations, okay?

Okay, so they go get a bunch of stuff. And at least it's like, I'm not with that traditional. I don't cook. I don't make breakfast. You know what, we sat at the dining room table, maybe 10 times. And I'm not changing for anyone. I Yeah, I'm what I yeah, I'm like, okay, that's not like a that's not a way of life

You know, it's like I'm so proud of you for never eating your dining room table Listen I listen you she can just do she can do her like I'm just more concerned about that, the tattoos at this point, you know, at like stuff your kids with whatever gorditas you want, you know, I mean, that being said, I'm not sure if I always, I'm gonna trust, like, I don't know if I'm gonna trust a tequila from someone who doesn't drink and then her culinary palate is going to fast food

every single morning, but then maybe that's exactly the person I should trust. You don't trust anybody who comes out with 19 tequila and just says one Spanish word to sell their tequila. Like that's lame. I feel like it's a tequila and they move over. Is it because Bueller is behind me? Or is it a little off-censor?

No, you're on center for me. I think maybe they want to see Bueller. Oh. By the way, I'm totally getting a Macrital tomorrow morning. All this time. Oh, there he is. Totally getting a Macrital., I'm totally getting a mickrittle tomorrow morning. Oh, there is totally getting a mickrittle. So then you've over a little because of my mics over here. Sorry, everybody. I'm trying to place where you're looking. I want to get your viewer look. There he is.

It's dark in there. Oh, he's looking away from me. Oh, you say, don't look at me. Don't look like, oh, don't pay me any mind. Now that's the only way we hear all alone with no one to love me. Now that people thought that my paw print was a bear print, I don't know what I will do. So then we get to, then we see a close up of a snake skin boot

like stepping out of a car, turns out there's Jen. It turns out like, I guess, it feels like every single scene with Jen starts with like a close up of her shoe coming out of a, coming out of a car, turns out that it's Jen. It turns out like, I guess, it feels like every single scene with Jen starts with like a close up of her shoe coming out of a car. Is she the only word fancy shoes in Utah? Well, she's like the most ridiculous one out of all of them. He's like, look at my shoes, look at my brands, look at everything. Yeah, she's like a stereotype in that way of a housewife. And normally I I would hate her the most right off the bat. I feel like, because she's just gross.

But I actually really, I like her a lot. I don't think she's really funny. I like her a lot. I mean, it's only episode one. Give us time. But yeah, me too. I can see who's going to be a monster, but they're like, fun, snotty monsters so far.

Yeah, same. That's what I like in a cast. So she's walking into Heather's beauty place. And some ladies, like, I have some sh she's walking into Heather's like beauty place and Some ladies like I have some champs for you. I was like, okay, please never come on my screen again Thank you Heather to bro and then she Charles Jen tells us that she and Heather have known each other for a few years And she's like First time I met Heather. She's spin rap lyrics. I'm like wait what and then you know, you had me a hello, I love her. Yeah, don't you feel like that's so Heather though,

to be like, oh my God, it's a person of some kind of color. I'm gonna do a lot of rap, you know? Doesn't she just seem like that kind of white lady? He's like, oh my God, it's not a totally white person. You must love rap, say to why, let's rhyme thing. Let's do Kulio as I walk through the valley of the shadow of the pain that works in my world too. She's like guess what?

Jesus walks with me with me with me with a meringue. Mariah guys with me. Getting jiggy with it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, But here's okay, so there's a real problem with these housewives and sweating in their armpits Huge it's like a huge issue comes up twice today because she's here to get Botox in her pits Because apparently that will stop sweating and the doctors like don't worry You're only gonna have about a gallon a day coming that your cornhole now, okay? It's in a total. We're just gonna change the stream For like the this is the coldest franchise.

This is like the snowiest franchise and they have the most sweat issues apparently. So yeah, she is getting her armpits Botox, which is I think something that Ramona singer did too. And she has an assistant named Stort, her first assistant, I don't know why she needs even more than a first assistant. She has three so far, at last counts she had three. Does three Does she have do we what do we know what she actually does like what I'm sure she has does something right works has a job

Doesn't sound like it's so far. She does big stop party. Shasha party So she's with star and still it's like you want to go to lunch. You know what we should do is she got a Martin's Oh my god, so she we're totally going to so she's like you want to get a lunch. You know what we should do is she got a Martin's oh my god So she we're totally going to say she's like no just keep driving around the same exact block Oh, I pretend like I've got a lot to do. Oh, no that's a different part Which is I really want to point out something that she does not say and so I'm like really excited to get to that I'm sorry. He's a sister. I said Stewart. I know it. Midi guy. He was a you were Stewart triggered. I'm sorry So she wants to do like, one thing that Heather loves about Jenna

is that she wants to do all the procedures and then we see a flashback of Jen saying, I wanna do my knees. Okay. Okay. Pinching the fat like the little fold above her knees is not even fat, it's like totally normal skin. Get her knees done.

Yeah. And so they just talk about all the stuff that she wants to get done and her Versace. And they're like, oh my God, I love your Versace. She's like, yeah, Versace. So now they talk about how Meredith's worth it. They're wanting to look like Sangbrook, she owns on talk, Sangvath.

Her birthday is coming up. So Jen is gonna have a big party for her at the Shaw Salay. Yeah, and she goes, and Jen goes, what if we transform the Shaw Salay into... Studio 54? Studio 54, which you know she just answers that with like every leading question and she finally got it right. Like, yes, finally Heather. Like, what about for dinner? We go to studio 54. Heather, stop trying to make that happen. But it's where rap was born.

No, I'm not. You know where? You know where the pioneers first landed? Studio 54? No, no, Heather. So they are going to have a big party for her with strippers. And Heather's like, uh, do you think that Meredith would even want that? I don't think she'd want my balls hanging in her face. I mean, she's very refined to a dignified. Which I was like, wait, where did that come from? They're refined and dignified part. They're acting like she's Lisa van der Pomp. I know. See, I have a star. So now we cut to a geodermant commercial, which I think is very fitting. I don't know if the, you know, Bravo's getting very tricky with their cross promotion. And they just went from like shooting yourself with the Botox to get rid

of armpit sweat to a geodermant commercial, then to another armpit scene later. So I don't know, but a lot of mixed messaging coming from Bravo. So now we go to Whitney, we meet Whitney and she's like, I'm gonna be a bright seller today and she's like the sweet blonde one and she's start telling us like growing up in Utah. I wanted the fairy tale Mormon wedding, you know, beautiful dress with the flowers and surrounded by family, you know, all that stuff, you know. And then we see your one downside lock with their kids in a wedding dress, go to her renewal of vows. And then the pre she doesn't even make a big deal out of this at all. It's like her renewal of the vows thing. She walks in with the kids and then she just like walks down the aisle like, like, it's not like slow or anything. She's like, hang it to me. So she comes down the aisle and the preacher guy is like, we take such delogged on this occasion.

You've enjoyed the challenges of married life for 10 years. Rocker scratch is just a vowel renewal. My running. Well, you know what, I have to say Whitney out of the gate has won me over a little bit because she got the vowel renewal out like within the first five minutes of her appearing ever on Bravo. She's just like, let's get this done. We're not gonna prolong this.

In fact, it's just like it is done and over before we even know it. I was like, you know what? Like, I appreciate that. I appreciate we do not have a long drawn out Val Renewal arc over the entire season. And also congratulations on the crumbling of your marriage that now will follow. Yeah, I wanted to fairy tale marriage. And then when I married Justin, I was pregnant and wearing my prom dress, standing in front of about 50 people who didn't want us to be together because he's 18 years older than me, and he was someone else's husband, but don't worry, I was also married. So, I'm pretty much pizza, so now we got kicked out of the church. I was like, that's a lot. That was a lot to drop on us.

I'm like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a speedy, Val renewal, you know? I know, and that's another thing she just drops and gives it to you right away instead of making you wait a season, because normally it would be a season of like, oh, that girl, that slot. Still with someone, it was someone's be a season of like, oh, that girl, that slut. Still with someone, it was someone's secretary. I heard that she said,

ooh, were you f**king on him? Oh, were you typing in him? Yeah, yeah. And it would be this whole big thing, but now it's like, now, if someone's has been, and, yeah. Yeah.

And his, it comes back to the wedding part where they're doing their vows or whatever, and her husband's like, 10 years ago, you rocked my world and you challenged me to think for myself. And I was like, she told you to leave your wife didn't she? Yeah. Yeah, we worked together. We had this hot office around my aunt's and we were like trying to hide it from everyone

because we were about to marry another people. It's like, oh, I was like, I thought it was like, because it's inappropriate to do it in an office. Also inappropriate when you're married to other people. Well, it hit like her, what's her name again, Justin? He gives me some like, I don't know if you picked up on this, but I got some like Bob UBANKS energy from him. Like, I felt like he could have been hosting a game show at the same time.

He had that like toothy grin like hey welcome to the bow. Let's see what's up on the board. All right preacher take it away And Heather's there and she's like wet my cousins like she found love with Justin and they had an elicit toward affair and as a result They were excommunicated from the church which is rough because I'm pure Brad. You know, it's like I was man once said, who's down with OPP? It's Whitney Whitney was down with OPP. Yeah, you know me rap lyrics. And it's like, yeah, I come from a long line of warm and is I'm in fact, Adam Lambert is my father.

And my fourth great grandfather, Chad Rack Ruhungi, Chad Rack Abindagar. Chad Rack Randy. Chad Rack Rack Rack Rack Rack Hooney was the bodyguard to Joseph Smith and Brigham Young. Oh, it's like the bodyguard. Like this. I love that Brigham Young and Joseph Smith were like, what's up? He told me Shadrock Randy, like, carried Brigham Young off of, like, like Brigham Young was

wearing like a little like headscarf and big sunglasses and Shadrock Randy was like, carry him, be like, and I always love you. Oh, you heard that. So I was like, yeah, so he was a hero to the Mormon community because he protected the prophet. So I guess you could say it's kind of a big deal that I'm no longer Mormon. So no one who cared.

He was like, hey, gee, here. I'm no longer Mormon, everyone. It was like, who are you? Let's be, let me, let me, was like, who are you? Let's be. We have to talk about her dad for one second. Her dad's wig. I feel like we are in store for a lot of fun with that wig. It reminded me of actually speaking of Whitney. It reminded me of Whitney from Southern charm.

His first season. Yes. He's in one Southern charm. Whitney hair. It was Whitney when he's like, yeah, Renobb. Yeah. I'm in the band. I'm young. Yeah,, Renob. Yeah. I'm in the band. I'm young. Yeah, bro. Yeah, bro. I'm in the band. I just thought why, you know, because later he's like,

well, no one wants to tell their daughter. They're a drug addict. And I'm like, okay. So now you have a drug addiction storyline, which is fine, you know, but I just thought, why, why is it drug addicts? Why is that drug addict hair? You know what I mean? Like, are you able to never drink a nice part? Are you able to bring up that hair by any chance, Ronnie? Is there any way you can find that in the video for us to really take it and enjoy? I don't want to, I don't want to overburden you right now.

I was the last minute request. I'm trying, that's why I gave you your own video, man. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I like it when you, I like it when you drive it. I would not be on call sitting here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I like it when you drive it. I would not be on call sitting there as a calling through a video. I forgot I had my own copy.

I forgot, I forgot. I can't forget. Yeah, I'm almost there. So yeah, her dad's kind of Adam Lambert and she's like, yeah, and where are like rebels from Ormanez, and then it cuts to her husband going, yeah, and I'm real fucking proud to be amazing. Whitney fucking fuck fuck.

And they're like, oh my God, he is. So. And then it's like party time. And the music is all like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like almost like, I don't know how to describe it, but it had like a certain sort of like, maybe is it a Moroccan vibe? I'm not sure. I could be totally off of my shop. But it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well this is, this is the dad, but we only see him from the side right now. That's this is like side at this is like grandpa Adam. Grandpa. Grandpa. I'm like, crap out of the room. Like, this is like, like, I didn't, I wonder where he even found that wig.

Where does one find that? I don't know. He probably like got it from Liza Manelli. And studio 54. So, let's see. So then she's going up to Stairs and she stopped by one of her cousins, which, you know, like I said, like 30 cousins probably So she goes up to stairs and this girl stoss her and goes um, I need to apologize to you because I

Really did not think you guys should be here 10 years from now. So sorry about that. Take C Like when we got together our friends and family turned against us and 10 years later They're coming back around. And I feel resentful and happy at the same time because like, why the fuck did it take 10 years? And then we see you're like on a stripper pole because she's like, you know what, I would do it again because my life is so full.

And so she's spinning on the stripper pole. And then she's like, we're still standing bitches. Yeah, that's what that's the thing on this show. They just yell bitches after thing. Also, I'm a lack of bitches. I'm so here. Bitch. So then we see like a pack of deer just standing around terrified.

Like, I don't know why we came to Utah, but we came here and now there are these crazy ladies all around us. What are we doing here? How do we leave? Yeah, so this is where Jen is driving with her first assistant, Storm. Is it really, I thought this is where Meredith was with Claudia, her housekeeper, making a cruditapelate. That's what my next note was. Oh, really? That's not what I have. Jen drives with Stuart, her first assistant. You know, where we are. It's like, you know, where we should go? So she harmin or sushi. I'm not. Yeah. Oh, maybe it's crosscut or something like that. You know, what I liked about the scene is that while they were driving, she's like,

aha, and then she does this thing with her hands goes like this. She just points like, you fucking idiot, the light turn green. You know that she's like a bossy front seat driver. He he he. She's bossy in always the flaky. So they're driving around and she's like pretending to be like super rich and super busy because she's planning a party. It's just one of those scenes we've seen it a million times

which is like, did you get the ice sculpture? Did you get the fabric for the windows? Did you get the strippers? What about the red carpet? What about the tents? I throw the biggest pot as a new tall. Everybody loves my pot. It's one of those typical housewife monolons.

Yeah, exactly. I think I must have just erased my notes for this scene, Ronnie. This is like, this is... This is good because it's boring, okay? I'll do it really fast. Did you get the ice sculpture? I want to die, man. How tall is the cake?

What's the flavor? Does that raspberry? It even likes raspberry. Right. And then it ends with them going, can we go to lunch now? It's like no. No. And then we go to Meredith with her house.

Okay. Yeah, I must have just deleted those notes or just put them on a different part of the document because I was like, I know I saw that scene because I was like really like triggered by when she pointed at the green light. Because I've had that happen to me so many times where like I stop at a light

and then a friend asked me a question and I'm like, well, actually here's the answer that I'm giving you because you just ask me a question and then they point like, the light brain. It's green. I'm like, you're the one who asked me the question and I'm taking the time to actually address you. Like I'm trying to respect you right now, okay?

I'm taking the time to actually address you. Like I'm trying to respect you right now. Okay. Uh. Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh,

Oh, Oh, Oh, So Meredith with Claudia, her housekeeper doing crudite Ben. I know you love a crudite tray. Take this. Take this away. Take this away.

Take this away. Take this away. Take this away. Take this away. Take this away. Take this away. Take this away. Take this away. Take this away. play a play and because Lisa's coming over and she says that Lisa, she and Lisa were set up on like a friendship blind date and Lisa was very late but it didn't matter because they wound up talking for hours and hours and hours and then Lisa goes, everyone thinks that Meredith and I look alike, I mean, I think it's our hair color, skin color, even on

mannerisms. I'm like, yeah, that's what usually happens when people think you look alike, you have the same skin color, you have the same hair, you act the same way, you have the same voices, you have the same shape of face, that's what happens. And then it cuts to them both laughing and they both laugh like this. And they both have those gravely voices. So Jen shows up and they're like close up of Jen's shoes. And we know they're expensive because they ugly as hell. It's like, you know, big silver chain, whatever. And she's walking in the snow. And so she comes in and Jen tells us,

yeah, I'm at least a bar though a couple of years ago at Sundance and it custody is going, people call me the Sundance queen. If you want to get into call me the Sundance Queen. If you want to get into a party in Sundance, you got, they got to kiss the ring or the Ola Tequila or Ringo Tequila because that's ring and Spanish, I think. I don't know. Ding Donga Tequila. And it's like, yeah, my first impression with Meredith was like, oh, hello, how do you do? I'm Meredith's like, ah, she's a feisty one.

Yeah, and then, so then they start talking about this party of what it's gonna be. And Jen says the party, she tells Meredith that the party is gonna just be a small gathering with some cocktails and then we see a flashback Oh, this is where the steward scene was here it is now I was like I was like concerned I might that they have a flashback to Stewart and Jen driving around and the whole thing that happens etc. And then

Basically the plan is to have servers with no shirts were oiled up So and then she's like yeah, it's gonna be super intimate, super intimate. Well, like you are so, so wacky. So, Jen's like, yeah, well, guess what? I went to lunch with Meredith, or I went to lunch with Meredith. Meredith? Lisa Meredith, cousin Whitney, could be any one really.

I went to lunch with somebody. And I was saying, hey, oh no, I went to lunch with Heather, I guess. And she's like, I didn't know. That's interchangeable. My god, all these names. You're confusing me now with names. It's confusing.

So I went to lunch. And I said, I didn't know that you went to school. Oh, yeah, she goes, I went to lunch with Heather. OK. And I didn't know that you guys knew each other, Lisa. You guys went to school together. And Lisa's like, oh, I didn't really that you guys knew each other Lisa you guys went to school together and Lisa's like oh I didn't really remember her from school

And then we see the lunch where how they're like yeah, it's crazy me and Lisa We went to college together and like we have like this crazy history of like 20 years together crazy It's like not we had stuff we're like that And then it cuts back and she's like yeah I don't really know her. I mean, I lived off campus. So I used to hear stories about her. Like she would be like, on her code, what? Yeah.

Woo hoo, yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So then Jenna, so Jenna's like, um, if I say I know someone and then they say, I don't know that bitch, that's offensive.

So she's like getting mad because how there's her bestie and everything. And she's like, well, she remembered you, and Lisa's like, well, I guess we have different recollections, I guess. recollection of tequila. Know what I'm saying? So then we go to Mary who's having lunch. He's meeting up with the way Mary.

Mary. This is Mary. We've got this far to the episode. We haven't even met the craziest person yet. That's not the answer to Blancers. I know. It's going to be a 19 hour show. So Mary,

Mary Whitney gets there first. Who cares? So they're gonna let you go there. And she's dressed crazy. Mary is like dressed completely wacky all the time. She's got like a really cute jacket actually with the face and then she takes it off and it's dude. I don't know. It's like these fashion designers who just obviously hate women and they make them actually. It's like Versace or Armani or somebody who it's just like, you look like a blood clot. This is how we come to the. It's like someone dropped a salad on the floor and then a designer made a fabric out of it and then put it on her. So, so she's sitting there, Mary's going there to meet Whitney and Whitney met Mary through her cousin and Whitney's like, she says anything, there's no filter. And Mary's like, if I said it, I said it.

Even if it's not good, I said it. You know what I'm saying? Huh? She goes, yeah, my grandma would say, you don't have to say everything you think. Because you know what? If I said it, I said it. If I didn't say it, I probably said it.

You know what I said? I said it, okay? I said it. That's right. I said it. If I didn't say it, I probably said it. You know what I said? I said it, okay. I said it. That's right. I said, you don't have to make any sense. That's hot. Yeah. She doesn't even try to make any sense.

And Whitney's trying to be pretend that they've been friends for a long time. And she's just kind of looking at her. And she's like, she is so fabulous. She's always stressed to the nines. And she's like, Vincent's good. She, yeah, vintage Gucci. Yeah, love it.

Love this is Celine. I love that bag over there. That bag is very soft. And she tells us, you know what? I just love this jacket because it makes me feel good. Not because it's Dolce. I've said it. Welcome to Bravo.

So she's like, I've been married for 21 years. So I know, I guess, I don't know what she says. Oh, they're talking about the Valoranule. Talk about Whitney's Valoranule, how it just happened. And Mary's like, yeah, I've been married 20 years. I get how it is. And then Whitney says, everyone in Salt Lake City knows the story of Mary and her step grandfather.

And then we see Mary with her husband, who's also her grandfather. And she goes, well, you know, we were kind of an arranged marriage. It was in my grandma's will to marry. And she says it like, oh, okay, that's all, okay. Oh, that makes sense, never mind that. Yeah, my grandfather willed me to my step-grandfather. So weird.

And the grandpa's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, my wife said, if I go, I want you to marry, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, And the answer about that on what happens like I mentioned earlier and she's like just digest it You'll get used to it and She goes he said yeah, but what about people who think it's weird and she goes listen I mean it's not a polygamy. So if it's not polygamy, I think it's okay I was like okay Well listen we as a nation were able to accept the the ending of Clueless So maybe we can work to understand how Mary and her husband.

Well, I mean, at least this was like when she was an adult, you know, you go, go ahead. I mean, I think it would be weird, really bad if it was, you know, I was 16 and then I married my grandpa, but I guess she was in her 20s or something. I mean, I don't know who cares. You know what, we're not supposed to judge, but I'm judging.

It's fucking weird, okay? I'm judging. I say, I say, listen, you go, you live your life, because I don't give a fuck who you marry, but I also can judge and say it is weird. I'm not saying stop, I'm just saying, I feel like you're still- I'm gonna have to judge.

Yeah, it's weird. So she's like, all the ladies have an opinion, of course. Just like, I don't give a shit if it's your biological grandpa, you step grandpa, that shit is weird, okay? It's weird. And Heather's like, yeah, I love my grandpa, so I would not want to marry one of them.

Woohoo! Yeah, she's like, I'm Mormon, and we have a latitude for a lot of weird shit. And then on the show, Mary also, she says the same thing, she's like, I'm Mormon and we have a latitude for a lot of weird shit. And then on the show, Mary also, she says the same thing. She says, they'll get over it, just digest it, which is I'm sure what she had to do too to understand her situation. So she's talking about the holiday service

because she's also a preacher, okay? And she goes, you know what, I have to give a sermon and I think what it's gonna be about is, I think it should be called Christ Mass. That's what it should be called. I was like, that is what it's called. It is. It's not a coincidence.

It's about time, but we put Christ back in Christmas. So Mary, she's Panacostle, and she's the first lady of her church, which is called Faith Temple, which she hadn't heard of through her grandmother. And so she invites Whitney to come to her service. And Whitney is like, in general, Whitney tries to avoid religion, but, you know, like, but she's, I guess she's going to go or something like that.

Yeah. Mary goes, yeah, you should come because I believe everything that I say. Yeah. So you should definitely come. And Whitney's like, Oh, I've been scammed attacks from Gen. She's throwing a party for Meredith. And Mary's like, Oh, she won't invite me. Why? Because she said I talked about it really bad because I said she smelled like

hospital. I was like, wait, what was that? I had to like rewind a few times. Like I didn't hear it at first. I was like, wait, she was that? I had to like rewind a few times. I didn't hear it at first. I was like, wait, she's mad that you said that she smelled like hospital. And then she starts to explain Mary's like, well, I have a very sensitive smell to hospitals and it takes me to a very dark place. I mean, I can smell hospital anywhere, especially a very dark place. I mean, I can smell hospital anywhere, especially in hospitals.

Wow, it's so strong there. So we were out at dinner when I, and we're waiting for Jen, and she comes into the restaurant and hugs me, and then she laid all on me, and I was like, oh my God, it's her hospital. Oh my God, what? We're trying to keep my composer,

but like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,, but like, oh, oh, oh. And so then we cut to Jen, he's like, okay, here's what happened. I'm with my aunt, who's everything to me, at Frey thing. And she found out she had to get both of her legs amputated. So that girl knows what I was going through. And to say those comments to me, you're just being mean. I was like, did you just top the hospital's

service? Like, did you just say, I'm going to take your hospital smell trauma and up you with double amputation trauma? I was like, wow, this food reminds me of like the heydays of Dallas when there was a fight about Leigh Ann Lacken shouldn't in a basket. I was like, oh, we're doing this. Now, by the way, at this point, I'm still like not fully

dismissing Mary's hospital smelting because I'm imagining that it could have been, I can imagine if you've gone through like probably a very prolonged stressful medical experience that I can't imagine the smell of hospital could be triggering, but still I was like, oh wow, this season is really starting off on an interesting note. Wow. This is the best fight of all time. So Mary is like, you know, I'm sorry, but it brings me back to a really dark place in

my mind. Like, if I see something, I speak something. And if I speak something, it's because I saw something. And if I saw something, I'm going to say something about seeing something when I saw something for like that. Got it? Set it. So then Whitney's just still on her phone and she's like, oh my god, oh, I wasn't supposed to mention the invitation.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. It's like, take your phone and see if you got a text. And Mary did get one. And so that got him. Really surprised she invited me It's almost like we got cast on the same TV show

It's almost as if a producer said you better invite Mary to just that way you guys can have a scene together Yeah, so they get to go so it's Jen's Sally the shot Sally They before the party and she's got this rose gold. Okay, Jen is also the person who just tries to make things happen. Like I'm the housewife at the rose gold microphone that I carry around. She didn't even see that. She had a rose gold microphone. Yeah. She turns it on. It's like a karaoke microphone with an echo on it, like when you're singing karaoke at home. And she just turns it on. And she's just

bossing everybody around in her rose gold microphone. And then she took it on and she's just bossing everybody around in her worst-gold microphone. And then she took it on what happens live too and talked him at the whole time. Just trying to make that our accessory. It's my thing. A rose gold microphone. I got from Heather Christian Lemmer. So, um, yeah. So Heather, like Heather shows up and she had to park like a mile away because there's like a million trucks for this birthday party, this low key birthday party.

She's like, this is not a party. This is like an inauguration right now. I mean, like, I'm thinking, what are we going to do in June for my birthday? And I was like, oh, well, do you have Zoom? Yeah. Do you have Zoom and maybe a surgical mask? I don't know. Yeah.

So they talk about how, oh my god, John throws that crazy ass hard as, and she's not telling her husband that she's doing a party because he'd be like, how much does this cost? Where's our furniture, et cetera, et cetera. So then they start talking about the bill scene, which is drinks with Meredith and Lisa. So Jen's like, yeah, so you know, Lisa's a little young and the restless because I'm just making small talk and being like my shoes are insane.

They're so expensive. I had lunch with Heather. I've known her for 20 years. And I think it's, oh, and she must have been like, I love Heather. I've known her so long. Like we have so much history like that. What's she like?

Oh my God, are you talking about Heather from the pioneers whose dad was like, whose great great grandfather was like a bodyguard to bring him young that Heather, the one I'd like no and love and hold dear to my heart. He covered Wagon Heather, covered Wagon Heather. C.W.H. and she's like, no, she actually said she didn't know you. And Heather was like, I'm not significant enough to be a remembered or to be a factor. That's what I'm always feeling from her. That's what I'm not significant enough to be remembered or to be a factor. That's what I'm always feeling for that. That's what I'm feeling.

She makes the best faces. She's like, doesn't know me. And she goes, yeah, she doesn't know you. But I mean, from school. And she goes, oh, I guess I'm not significant enough to even be a factor. Like, I'm, you don't remember me. Like, what? I'm.

She'd never heard of Mormonism. You don't remember me like what She'd never heard of Mormonism So yeah, so so then then like Gentiles heard that what Lisa said about how she was like on our code and like Woo like holding up her top and Heather's like What a weird thing to lie about. I mean like it seemed like she's like a string to my my friend I mean that is like a disc, okay? And she's doing that because she's a bitch. She's a bitch, okay, I said it, sorry, Mormonism. Yeah, because the thing here is,

this is so funny, because this is such like a Mimon pop I think to say, like, are you friends with that girl? She's a good time girl. Yeah, that's the, that's the term. She's a good time girl. They're like, oh, good time girl. How dare they call me a good time girl. Do you know how much I would love to be a good time girl? I wanted to flash my titties in college.

I definitely dream to go back to go to a real school, go to a sorority and be a good time girl. Flash Mike did, but I was not a good time girl. I took him oath. Yeah, and she says this thing where she's like, she's like, listen, if she's saying that I got around, girl, if I got around in college, I would not have, when I would not have owned a married

it with three kids in divorce. I was like, are you saying that girls who are like enjoying their sexual how do you don't get married or are she saying that she would have stayed married or I didn't understand what you was saying. I felt like he just was like angry and just like I'm gonna shame her for shaming me. Well, I'm having a way out of the person. One right?

We're supposed to be like oh she's the one that's like the coolest out of everybody but she's also the one who says all the awkward shit. Right. I mean I like black people and gay people. I'm so not Mormon. Yeah. So listen, I'm gonna hold her accountable for saying like I mean come. I mean, and then she sells tequila that she doesn't drink. I'm sure you want to talk about honor coverage me. So she's like furious now. Yeah. And Jen's like, it's because she's Mormon cheap. I know. And Heather's like, she's Mormon bullshit. So then,

Mormon shaming. Then it's like a very romantic scene where there's Rose petals all over the floor and candles lit and like Someone about the Mario and Ramona about to fuck is basically this yeah, right and so then We hear the phone ring and it's Seth calling the sun Brooks and he's like did you do it? He's like I did it dad I let so many candles my back is like in pain So can I tell you something? This answers a lot of questions for me because when I started watching the recording, it said it was an hour and 15 minutes.

And then I watched the first life, 15 minutes, and then I went to sleep. And then when I went back to watch the recording, it said it was only an hour long. And I was like, what happened to the other 15 minutes? And I think that this scene was cut out from the version that I watched. Oh, really?

Yeah, in my version, which maybe also explains our confusion with the notes before, maybe we got to see two different cuts. Oh, yeah, I saw the original hour and 15 minute one, and you saw the shortened one. I started watching the hour and 15 minute one, and then it got replaced on my IDVR. Oh, weird, yeah,

because after a while on YouTube TV, it puts on the on demand version. Yeah, but maybe I still don't want to be on. Mine wasn't the on demand. It doesn't matter. This is really not interesting to anyone, but I'm like, I'm having like a, like I'm seeing the matrix for the first time.

So please tell me about what I missed because I think I get it. Okay, so good. I'm glad when this happens because I could just get through this scene really fast. I can just be like, yeah, and then it's done. That's it. That's how you miss it. But basically he makes this really big romantic scene. And it's like the husband and wife are going to fuck, right? But it's her birthday and the husband couldn't be in town. So the son just makes this romantic scene for the dad. But

then the dad's not there. So it's just fucking rose petals all over the floor. So Meredith comes home and say, Oh, I got else? And she's like, that did it for you, mom. And she's like, Oh, my God, I know you're the one that did it. And then that's where they have the really long hugging scene. It's like so weird and awkward. And they just stand there and hug in like this field of rose pedals that he's just put down for her. Because I didn't see that. So when you said that, just hug a really long time, I just figured it was like something I missed for it. Because I didn't see that. So when you said that it just hug a really long time, I just figured it was like something I missed for it, but I actually missed an entire scene.

Yeah, and I feel like I feel like I missed out on something special. Oh, so I'm wondering why you didn't think that was so creepy. Like listen, hug your mom, I don't mean don't hug your mom. It's just really creepy in this like Rose Petal feel. They're like, yeah, the best, I love you, mom. I love you. And they call the guy.

Did you get it? Yes, you douchebag. Now, I'm going to switch to what he gets to do. Clean up fucking flowers that are all over three rooms. Yeah. How about you get me a fucking maid? I don't want to see a man put shit down on the floor from my birthday. I want to see you pick it up.

Yeah, exactly. Get me some donuts. So that's that. So we got to the bottom of that because I was so confused by everything and now I see now we can blame Bravo. We always blame Bravo. So now it's day of the party. Day of the party and there's like a red carpets tunnel that's been set up. There's a party plan on him. Bo, who's around, the women are getting their glam and done And Meredith is getting into her like pink monsters ink dress it's like It's like the big furry like his big furry pink sleeves because you know

I felt it was a sunset and I got to put on the lip gloss that guy's a real clone so paranoid Yeah, but um, yeah, so she's she's you know obviously since since she is like the the snobby one She has to have the monsters ink dress for her party Yeah, we're showing up and I got I for a moment I sort of felt bad for that one stripper who is at the front because they had like a guy standing in the middle of this This like wind tunnel shirtless with like a tray of champagne and I I for a moment I felt bad I felt like he must be freezing, but then I was like, then I didn't feel bad. Yeah, he literally chose a job that he

doesn't wear a shirt in. Yeah, that's not exactly what I'm going for for somebody. So then Lisa is everybody's getting ready. It's not everybody's getting ready. So Lisa is getting her glam team. This is another show with glam teams, right? So she's her glam team is working on her. And she's like, you know, I don't do short tacky dresses with still addos. No matter what my zip code is, I'm a New Yorker. And I will not dress like that. And then we cut to everybody in like a way that was cut out too. That was also not part of my my premiere experience. I did not get to see her inside of out short dresses. So then Mary gets picked up. It cuts to basically Whitney dressing, you know, the way that this lady is describing a slutty or whatever. So they pick up Whitney and everybody

starts arriving and the women are like, wow, muscles a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little And she gives us another Mormon thing. She's like, even though Salt Lake City is a capital of Mormonism, there's like, when there's a bar, you see Mormons hiding in the corner, like secretly drinking. And then you see non-Mormons, like just in line, ready for their next fix. Yeah. And then getting a drink. Yeah, I mean, listen, crazy things happen up there.

So then they're all like, it mean listen crazy things happen up there. So then they're all they're all like it's like Party everyone's there and so Jen is sort of like not backstage because her house, but she's like she's still getting ready for she's taking a really long time to get ready and then So she's back there and I forget who's back there with her, but maybe it's Heather or something But then we meet Sarah who's Jen's friend. She's our first friend of that we meet and Sarah comes in and she looks like every mob mistress that we've ever seen from a mob movie, a mob movie, but played by Disney Phillips a little bit. She's like, Hi happy birthday to you you gem is it your wait Thank me looking me like that is not your birthday come on is your birthday. Oh my god I got the wrong birthday. Oh

Shaz like Sarah is so the girl in the mafia movie who's like, I'm sorry Tony, I didn't mean it. I didn't mean that. I swear, I won't tell anyone. I swear, I won't tell anyone. They're like, ghost the end of the day, I'm not here. I won't tell anyone that she gets killed. I'm not.

She's the best thing. I need her to be in every episode. Every episode, please. So then Lisa, who's the classy one arrives in Pats and a fur, just to prove how classy she is. And then Mary arrives on some crazy green tool thing. And she's like, it's this weird sort of like emerald, like light flow.

She sort of looks like an emerald amima, amima or something like that. And so yes, she walks, she comes in and emeritus and Brooks enter and everything. And they're like, they're looking at the flower wall that says, shah, shale, and she's like, yes, it's my birthday. But the reality is, I know it wasn't a party for me, okay? Yeah.

And Heather is really nervous. She's like just looking around and kind of sipping because she thinks she's about to have her first house so I was fight, you know, like she's rare and to go to have the first fight. She's gonna fight with this lady for saying she doesn't remember. So she's like, where is she?

Not that I care. What do I care about her? You know what, when I see her, what I'm gonna do is pretend like I don't know her. And I'm gonna be like, oh my God, do we know each other? Isn't that funny? Is what I'm gonna do? Where is she?

I don't care. Don't tell me, definitely. If she can hear who cares. That's just pretend studio 54. So then Whitney is like, Justin would never miss my birthday. I mean, I wouldn't allow him to miss my birthday. I don't know why I wrote that down. But then we go back to Jen and now like the underarm fixation continues

because she's just putting on just like so much to do and under there. Just like all over her dress. It's all over everything. And then Heather's like, oh yeah, like I just thought, like, you know what, I don't care about that girl. That girl Lisa, she can just like parade around in her jacket over her shoulders, like Joan Crawford. And then it cuts to Lisa going around the party guy.

Oh hi, love you, Kane. Oh hi, love you, Hat. Oh, hi, love your hat. Oh, hi, love your dress. Hi, love the ankles. Did you do something to love the ankles? Just being a phony fake asshole. I'm so mad at YouTube TV for cutting like all this shit. You miss that too?

That was like some of the things you've been saying have been totally cut out. And I am like, because I was like, I woke up this morning and I was like, I could have sworn this was an hour and 15, but maybe not, maybe I'm remembering raw. I'm like, I've been robbed from some like, really important details.

Oh, so Lisa's like, those guys are naked. And Mary's like, yeah, we don't want pubic hair in our food, right? And everybody just looks like too far. It's not Mary. Always taking it too far. I'm talking about pubic food, and we're all eating, marrying her grandfather like too far. It's not Mary. Always taking it too far. I'm talking about pubic food, and we're all eating, marrying her grandfather,

too far, Mary. So Jen finally comes out and makes a big grin. And oh my god, I've been laughing so hard. I've got like crusties on my eye. That's really cute. That's really cute. Okay, so she enters and makes like this big giant entrance. And Lisa's like, I would never make a grand entrance

like at someone else's party. I mean, she does sort of have a point. I'm not going to lie. She does have a point. But so Jen makes her entrance. She's like, hi. And then like a big cake comes out and there's like Polynesian dancers and Jen's like, you know what?

I wanted to I want to do incorporate like dancers from Tonga because I want to incorporate my heritage and then British was like, so what do Tongan dancers have to do with Meredith? And she's like, Tongan dancers really have nothing to do. I just I just wanted I like. I tried. I tried to get the shirtless guy from the Olympics, but he was busy. So Adam Rapun. Oh my God, he would tell you that. I know. She wanted to talk about someone stealing your entrance. I didn't mean to add him, Rippon, but that would have also been fun.

Remember, there was that tongue and guy at the opening ceremony is the last Olympics who was like shirtless and oiled up in his from tongue and he was like, yes. And everyone was like, who is that? But also Adam Rippon. So Heather is still like stewing like that. girl's pretending she doesn't know where so Lisa passes her and She says she goes oh And then just walks away like Heather can't even hug her or say anything sneaky to her and she's like does she just blow me off?

Oh my god She definitely thinks she's better than me. It's a cuz I'm divorced. It's a cause I just don't fit the mold. Is it she's only friends with perfect Mormons? I love how they're projecting all their insecurities onto like Lisa, such as walking by being high. Is it because I had fast food this morning? No, she would like that. Is it because I got my lamp from Lamp's Plus? She knows, doesn't she? Oh, well, sorry. I buy from Lamp's Plus instead said CB2

And then we cut to that friend of he's like I like shake your hand, but I spelled to kill on it I also I continue to love Brooks because Heather says hi to Meredith and Brooks and she's like hi and brush you guys hi How are you good? Hi, and brush your ass. Hi. How are you? Good. So Jen sits down with the Mary to solve their, you smell like hospital fight. So she sits down with her and Jen's like, Oh, is this Valentino? You know that I know this Valentino because I know things too. This is the Shawshout light. It's Valentino,

right? Where's like, yeah. So are we good? That's what I wanted to ask you, because I told you about my aunt, she just listened. I had 12 surgeries, getting odor glands removed. Okay. Great, odor glands, but thing. Otor glands? Like even now, even I was like, maybe she meant like, did she have like lymphoma or something like that,

but I was like, no, I think she just means odor glands like she had odor glands in her head like she's Like a skunk or something. I didn't know you could do that. I mean that sounds amazing So she's like I had odor glands removed and it was the worst experience. I've ever gone through it was dark When I tell you it was dark. Let me see it because I'll say anything. I'm about to say it. Are you ready? It was dark I said it because I'll say anything. I'm about to say it. Are you ready? It was dark. I said it. So I am a lot. They took out that odor gland and I died. I just twice. Twice. I went to the light twice and light said, you still smell. Get the rest of the glands out. So I came back.

Yeah. I don't want to need stinky angels. So he sent me back twice. And she goes, you know what? And I never go into the hospital again. I don't care if I need a nose job. I will never be back there. And she meant it. And she didn't mean it like if I need a nose job to fix my nose, she meant like, I don't care if they give me a nose job so I can't smell any more. I'm like, you know, that's not what no job, no jobs. It's not that they close up your nose. I'd like seal off smelling for good. So then, Jen's like, Jen's like, all right, I'm going back to my, I'm going back to my ace, ace in the hole. My aunt just got both legs amputated. Okay, at the last minute. So when you said it smells like hospital in here, You were just being mean. And no legs. And no legs.

And she goes, well, who did I even say that to? What are you talking about? She goes, um, when we were sitting at the table, me and Mary, and Stuart and Claire were there. And she's, well, did I say that you smell like hospital? She just, you said, it smells like hospital. I believe the quote I heard was it smells like hospital in here. So take off all your clothes And I was like, that's just rude. That's just rude. So Jen is like, God, why won't this girl just take accountability and apologize?

Right? So she's like, well, that's why I was hurt because I don't know if you heard me, but my aunt just got both of her legs Amputated and she goes, oh Mary goes is Carrie here? Because this sounds like Carrie. Carrie, where's Carrie? Mary? Basically, what we're figuring out was at this dinner, it sounds like what happened was that Mary was at one side of the table and told Mary told Carrie, it smells like hospital in here.

And then Carrie went and told Jen. And so now they're bringing up a car. She said, she said, you smell like hospital, right? So Mary's like, where's Carrie? Come here, Carrie. and told Jen. And so now they're bringing up. Like she said, you said, she said, you smell like hospital, right? So Mary's like, where's Carrie? Come here, Carrie. So she started. I carry like her own her. Carrie's like, okay, Carrie, this is your moment.

You've got your moment on the show. Get your eyes ready to squint because you are going to be a cast member. Yeah. So then we see meatballs being passed for just so funny, because everybody loves meatballs. I don't know why. Yeah. And so then Carrie comes over. And Mary goes, so just so funny, because everybody loves meatballs, I don't know why. And so then, Kerry comes over and Marika,

so when did I say smells like hospital? And Marika is like, you said that. Why did you say that? Care's like, I absolutely did say power squint, power squint, power squint. I did absolutely say that. And Marika is like, what was your point in doing that? She's like, you said that to me, and I'm squinting at you,, I did absolutely say that. And Mary's like, what was your point in doing that? She's like, you said that to me,

and I'm squinting at you so you know it's true. Power squint. And I'm gonna tell her because she is my best friend. That's why I told her. And Mary's like, so what? I mean, you smelled like hospital too, okay? I smelled you and you smelled like hospital. And Carrie goes, so what of it?

So I smell like hospital from time to time. What's the big deal? You got me I'm guilty guilty of smelling like a hospital of the D3 I never said I was the best mother in the world I give you some credit for trying I'm trying to be a mother who goes to the hospital and sometimes come back smelling like one She goes I was just smelling hospital. That's all it wasn't to be me. And she goes, oh really? Then what's your point in saying it? She goes, you be quiet. You know what, Carrie, you just be quiet.

You can leave. You're not even a part of this. Why are you even here? Hey, Carrie goes over. It's over. Yeah, Carrie goes, oh, I am a part of it. I tell all the hospital smell secrets, all of them. You want to talk about hospital smells?

Well, I'm your girl because I'm going to tell you that. I'm not the hospital smell. I'm carrying. So Jim's like, um, she's here because we were all there last night and you called her over and Mary goes, oh, okay, well, we're not going to be disrespectful now. Then he goes, we're not going to be disrespectful because my aunt, again, the woman who lost both her legs is like a mother who raised me, okay? And Mary's like, well, what do you want me to do?

Huh? And she's like, well, not say you smell like a hospital when she's both, when she's both her legs amputated. And Mary tells us, what do you want me to do about your aunt? Okay? Her legs are gone. I mean, why are you getting your legs cut off at 60 anyway? That means your diet's bad.

Like she didn't eat where I just something. Drink some water. And now you're telling off the lady who lost her legs. I know, I'm like, okay, I do not feel bad about like judging her about her grandfather, or like if we find it that the older gland, we're really some sort of serious thing. I do not feel bad about judging because she just motherfucking judge this poor woman who lost both her legs and she's like drink some water. Oh, this was so good and she's thinking of that hurt me and she goes, I'm sorry, but I have a dark place with that

smell and just like I'll be back and And then she goes to her little backstage area, slam the door and she says, that bitch do not disrespect my legless family. And the music is doing the evil holiday bells. And it's like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I mean gold. Wow. Wow. Breaking gold. That's a lot of it. Wow. So good. So good. I'm sorry. I think it's all the extra bonus 15 minutes. But, um, wow. Wow. What a fight. Ampeteen for hospital smells. That's just so funny.

So everybody, thank you so much for being here with the real awesome salt looks. Yes. All right. Let's hit the road. Everybody. Thank you so much for being with us. This was really, really fun. We're gonna do it every day now. Every single day. Thank you so much to everyone who took their Thursday. It's decided to spend their Thursday night with us.

And for people on the East Coast who are it's now like 11.30. Thank you for staying up late with us. We really appreciate it. That was great. And that's time to go at some 7-shot. Yeah. Get ready for tomorrow. Not for staying up late with us. We really appreciate it. That was great And that's time to go at some seven shot. Yeah, ready for tomorrow Not another one. Love you guys. We'll talk to you next one. Bye Watch what crap ends would like to thank its premium sponsors ain't no thing like Allison King

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