Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC: New Phone, Who's Dissed?

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

This week on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Jen Shah has a new phone, but no one's answering her calls. Meanwhile, Whitney has dug up more dirt on Mary, and Lisa has begun changing her narrative. In other words, it's perfection.Be sure to watch this recap with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/crappens-on-1648-59883809See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Kids, what happens when they're so loud and rapins? You're so loud and rapins? It's a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, Kids, what happens when they're so loud and rapins? Hello, and welcome to Watch Our Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious, not cult cult leading at all. Ronnie Caram, hi Ronnie. How are you? I'm doing very well. It's Monday. We're shorting off another week. Just the season. I'm just in the spirit right now. I'm excited excited for To wrap up this year with so much good content here from Bravo, I should say and I'm just feeling it. What's going on with you? Nothing I'm not in this spirit. Okay, because this Christmas, you know Now I'm around family and so everyone's like, oh look here's a list Here's a list of things the girls want for Christmas. Oh, yeah I, you know what? I'm sorry I'm your

uncle because you're getting $100. That's it. Okay? And I get the hell out of here with this list. These lists are ridiculous. And then you buy them stuff and they get it and they're like, oh thanks. And they just throw it because I already know what they're getting, you know? I'm gonna give you, and you're lucky it's even a hundred. Maybe I'm gonna change that and make it to $5. That's what I got. Yeah. Get your $5. dammit, get out of here. And everything's peppermint, mocha bullshit. Give me my chocolate. I don't want peppermint and everything.

I'm getting really bah hum buggy, I think, because like, what am I gonna get for Christmas? Like, what do you think those brats are gonna get me? Nothing, okay? They're gonna get me some gum. Nothing. Yeah, and I don't even celebrate Christmas, so I know I'm not getting, present. My present window is over.

My birthday overlaps with Hanukkah, and that's like that's it. Like whatever I got on my birthday, that's it. Yeah. So, you know, no more gifts for me for a year. Yeah, so I'm a little bah humbaggy for this, but I am glad to know that Jesus is one shallow mofo as we learned in today's real house. So as a Salt Lake City, because the more you have, the closer to God, you feel like, I guess, something like that.

So we learned this week. That's exactly right. So before we dive into that, you guys, of course go to watchrocrapins.com because our live shows are coming back next month, starting in New York and going through 21 cities, we're going into Nashville and Philadelphia and Cleveland and Columbus and Detroit, all across the we're going into Nashville, Philadelphia, and Cleveland, and Columbus, and Detroit,

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On my screen, I actually have two complimentary zits on my neck that look like sort of hikis actually. Or it looks like I tried to pierce my neck and then gave up. But I also turn my camera, I turn my desk around. So now we have a new backdrop for me, which I need to decorate, because right now there's a card that says Giovanni,

and there's something that says a grief when we were on Watcher Happens Live. So go to patreon.com slash watcher crappens to come join us and see all these fun visuals. And then tonight, the last thing is that tonight is it's take a seat night, which starts at 10 o'clock on the East Coast and 7 o'clock on the west coast. That's on Spotify Greenroom.

If you miss it, you can check out on demand with Spotify, but you should come and tonight's our holiday episode, which will be extra extra fun. And we just talk, we talk about Bravo and Pop culture, but you guys get to talk to and we actually have a, it's been really so fun the past few weeks doing it. But lately, it's been really on fire. So please come join us. Okay, let's get on to Real Housewives of Salt Lake. We start with Lisa and John talking about all the drama last week.

Poor John, I mean, just as a paperweight with, you know, blinking eyes. He just kind of sits there and every see him like, can I please leave please? Just let me out of this. So Lisa's like, well, you know what? I'm thinking we're on a good place. And they're wet, nah. I mean, wetness not even a potster.

Okay, she's a whisk. She's a whisk, whisk me. Okay, whisk me the size to drop something. Oh, and then she does a pretty good Whitney impression. I thought she does. It was really good. She's like, Marry, I have never talked about you ever before last night.

Bullshit, you did the week before at her luncheon. And then we cut to Heather who's talking to her daughter about her daughter who's like, please just let me go to school. Literally everybody in these scenes is trapped. You know, the people trapped in the housewives. Right. So Heather's like, and then Lisa sat out there and said she has friends that have been swindled by Mary and have been abused by Mary. And I said, we need to be honest with Mary. She's like, mom, I would really like to go back to my Instagram photo shoot. Thank you, mom.

And I love the Heather still throwing out these words, like, swindled and abused and stuff like that. No. And she even tried to clarify it last week when she was like, are you saying Mary Fwendold Cameron? And Lisa's like, no, bamboozled. Mom, let's go with bamboozled. Let's settle on bamboozled.

You know, and then she goes to whisk, sit up. Yep, whisk, sit up, a little bit of a snake. So then we go over to Mary, and she's talking to Robert Sr., and she's like, they're all started, they're all started, they all started talking about me, and they started using me, like, what if we can't trust Mary? And he's like, trust you for a watch. Well, they put me in there with Jen. I mean, is it a brown girl thing? And he's like, trust you for what? Because, well, they put me in there with Jen.

I mean, is it a brown girl thing? And he's like, well, it's a Utah thing. Yeah, and she's like, well, that was hurtful. So then we go to Heather and she's like, yeah, and then she let into me and she let into Whitney. And then she said, I don't want to be your friend. And Whitney's like, and I was like, wait a second. You are a woman of God.

Yeah, the other thing that pisses me off, the other women were all talking about it. And Lisa drops a huge bomb that she has had this friend, Cameron, who's left Mary's church and has all these things to say about it. And she kept hinting and dropping bombs. But in front of Mary, she doesn't say anything. I'm the only one taking the fall. And Justin's like, uh-huh. By the way, while they're talking about these scams, she's in an iris and boaster, which isn't a scam from what I can find.

I mean, of course, I've looked that shit up, but it's changed from her original company because that was an MLM, which MLMs are legal, you know, but she switched that up to make it look better. And then he's wearing his, what's his T-shirt? It's like life interrupted, wait a minute. Life vantage, life vantage shirt, which was in court for a long time for- Is that his company? Yeah a long time for his company.

Yeah, he worked for that company. So I guess say that t-shirt definitely looked like he went and like ran a triathlon or something. Yes. He got that t-shirt as a result of that. I don't know what triathlons are in Utah. I guess maybe you can swim into Salt Lake itself. I don't know.

They're all the way to your different planets that you go to when you pass away. So yeah, Whitney's going off, but you know, with me, she keeps trying this thing, but I'm sorry, Lisa just played it better. Okay. She dropped the bomb and then she ran to Mary and confessed everything she did. So it's not like she's not following up, you know what I mean. Now, I think Lisa obviously is setting everything. I think she's guilty of everything that they're accusing her of, but Whitney's trying to go up against Lisa

for stuff that's just not true. I mean, Lisa set that up and then she told Mary, and now you're mad that she didn't tell Mary to her face. Make up your mind. I don't think Whitney gets bonus points for falling for Lisa's schemes and then like declaring afterwards, I was manipulated. It's like, girl,

will you keep letting it happen? Sorry. So then they cut it all me. And also I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. But I just have to add this. Lisa did say that her, she had her friend Cameron,

she did say Cameron said all those things. So Whitney's like, man, then she tried to pretend like she, Lisa admitted that she brought Cameron to the thing. Okay, go ahead. Sorry. Well, either way, we now go to Jenny who has to weigh in on this and she's driving around in spring time. So all of a sudden, it's spring time in Jenny's scene. It's like sunny, not not an inch of snow anywhere. And she's driving around talking to Dewey on the phone. And she's like, Meredith mentioned she hired a private investigator.

I mean, if you get text messages, do you hire a private investigator to find out who's sending these messages? Or do you go follow a report? I mean, who hires a private investigator to search this? Am I right? Am I right? So you're still saying you should file a report then? I mean, isn't that just going to an investigator?

What's wrong with having an investigator that works for you? Okay. So not called taking it into your own hands. So Lisa's like, oh yeah. And you know, they make it about everything other than Fox, because they want to look all bad at us. Well, they're not.

They're just little sheep. And the phone rings and she's, of course, got a Vita tequila screensaver, because you know, everybody uses their babies as their screen saver just in case you didn't know and so she gets a text message and she's oh my god this is Jen this is my she's reading it because this is Jen this is my new number I tried calling you to make sure you have my new number to see if we can meet up for coffee or lunch to chat and John is like oh you should. No John I have mixed

emotions about this. It's like baby un-gorgeous like that doesn't make sense to me. A teenager not gorgeous. How about that? I'm in the same. I'm in the same. I'm in the same. I'm in the same. I'm in the same. I'm in the same. I'm in the same. I'm in the same. I'm in the scene, Rancid Coyote, I don't feel like that works. Does sound like a good business now.

Good to get it done. Through this scene, he's like, I'm just gonna go grab a drink. I'm like, no, John, you're not. You're not going to. You're gonna set down. You're gonna sit down. You're gonna listen to this drama about Wesk. So he can't escape and he dries.

So then we go back to Heather and her kid and Heather gets an identified caller and answers the phone, which just removes all that. Heather has good credit. There you go. Cause he was all so excited. That's someone's calling her. She's like, oh my God, it's a phone call.

You know, my favorite thing is to talk with telemarketing agents. So it's from Jen and Jen's like, hi, so how are the kids? And I was like, the kids are fine. How are you? You've been in jail, I'm jailing like Jaila face. And Jen's like, oh, yeah, there's a lot going on.

You might if we like got together to lunch because you joined me for lunch and I was like, 100% absolutely. So they decide that they're gonna meet at a steakhouse. Which that is, it's not Italian. We know that if they're going somewhere that's not Italian, it's an emergency, okay? It's like when Lisa hit out at the sushi grass mint

top of this place. The mint sushi, the top of this. The top of this and sushi restaurant. Yeah, well, this way they don't have to be seen. Because everyone goes to Italian restaurants. That's what I like. You know it's an undercover meeting, because it's not Italian.

So then Lisa's like, you know what? I mean, I feel like I don't even know anything about you. Like, how do I? And anything to do with her legally, that's really none of my bestness. But being someone's friend, who is, you know, that's your side. And if you're being someone's friend, then they need to be a friend back to y'all Okay, well that would have made more sense if you were doing that before she was arrested

Yes Now she's sort of like a revisionist history now We're now all of a sudden she's gonna be saying that no it turns out Jen was being a bad friend to her even before she was Arrested and you're possibly dragged Lisa down into some hellhole. So she's like, yeah, cause like, I haven't even heard from Jen since the Frash Wolf party which I didn't even organize. That's my children, Hanran Jack.

Yeah, so like she sent text messages at 2AM, okay? And then we see a flashback of Lisa telling the girls like, yeah, things did, you know, you think things and while with Jen, but guess what? Then they're not. And then she gets into the car and it's like, fuck you, you're a bad friend. It's like, my kids are in the car. Okay, two little baby gorgeous. Okay. I just, I just love that Lisa's driving. You know, she's connected to her car play.

And every time the text comes through, it's like, fuck you, you stupid bitch. Fuck you, like over the loudspeakers with the kids. Lisa. Fuck us. In your group with Jen Shaw and Meredith, Meredith Marks, Jen Shaw says, fuck you, you're a terrible friend.

You're awful. Care to respond. Ha, ha, ha, ha. You're awful. Care to respond. Meredith has responded you are a CarPlay shaking was a shaking car play even starts getting a tick when Meredith We never had a conversation one way or another about if you care to respond So Lisa says I don't know if I'm the best person to talk to to John right now. Can I get a drink? No Jesus You know me John I don't know about them people, but I'm gonna have to tread lightly on this and he's like

He's like coughing up dust. He's like coughing up little particles of throat skin. It's like, please give me some, can I just have some of your big gulp? No, John, be self-reliant, get your own. So now that we now go over to the steakhouse, the steakhouse that Heather and Jen are meeting at, and the steakhouse, it's called Harbor.

Now, I mean, what is going on with these Utah restaurants? Why are you naming your steakhouse that Heather and Jen are meeting at. And the steakhouse, it's called Harbor. Now, I mean, what is going on with these Utah restaurants? Why are you naming your steakhouse Harbor? Okay. That doesn't make sense. It's like, I then there's seafood restaurant called like, you know, cattle, cattle face, or something, like cattle and mutton. Yeah.

Hey, let's go to the brand. Can we go to the fish store called Dogs? Um, but yeah. Oh, no, we have to have a protest. Um, it makes kind of sense harbor because like you harbor, you know, someone who's running from the lot like you harbor, you're harboring a criminal or like you harbor resentments or whatever. So it kind of makes sense.

I like that this cast has been yelled at so much on social media for wearing first that now they're just wearing them up at first everywhere. Like as there's got the Fuzzy Bear, Jen's got the red one. What's the red one? Not animal because that's like long and string. Oh, it's like the doc. This is one of the guys from the band, right? Yeah.

So they do really hard hugs and Jen's like, you know, I'm good. I'm good, I'm good, I'm good. I'm good. You know, I called as soon as I got a phone. Should we just order? Let's order first so I can start big crying, okay? Yeah. And they're still wearing their coats.

I'm like, is they not doing the air conditioner at Harbor or something like that? Like, why are you guys doing your goats? So Jen now of course does this thing, which we knew she would do, which is, this is what I asked God to show me, who are my real friends? You don't know until you get into a situation like this, like, and Heather was the only one that picked up the phone

without any questions asked. I'm like, well that's because it's Heather. I mean, like, she will, she answered the phone. She didn't even see who it was. Had nothing to do with you. She just was lonely. Yeah, no one picked up the phone because they're calling from an identified number

and an identified number. That's actually really true. Yeah. So Jen, you know, I like that Jen phrases it as, she asked God to show her who her real friends were. So God orchestrated a fake take down of Jen, just so she would see who her real friends are. It's like, he can't give you more than you can handle.

Be careful what you ask for. Yeah, she's like, when I was walking on the beach, I only saw two sets of footprints and they both said Homeland Security on them. So this was me. Okay, I see you there. So that lady from the documentary from Homeland Security. She's like, it is me walking, walking beside you. I'm right here.

I'm garrering you to jail. So, so they finally take their coats off. It was really bothering me. And Jen's like, I need a friend right now to let me lots and lots and lots of money. Can you be that one? We're sorry, gotta give some waiter reviews, waiter, stop, stop with this. I hate this kind of waiting tables.

Jen's like, I will have an artichoke dip and he's like, wow, great choice. It's a fuck outta here, okay? I don't need your judgment on what I'm ordering. Okay, what is this American idol for ordering things? I don't need your judgment, okay? So I'm in towel. Go wipe something down.

I don't know. So Heather explains why she was there for Jen. She says, you know, when my world shattered and I got divorced, I remember how I felt. I just wanted someone to show up, hold my hand, not ask me too many questions and take me out to a stake lunch. Yeah, it's exactly the same thing. You getting divorced and Jen,

dropping old people of all of their life savings, totally the same thing. Just girls brushing each other's hair, you know. So Jen starts telling her story. She's like, I got the call from Sharice Number, and it was a Sharif, and I'm used to someone else calling from his number, so I didn't even think about it. And I was like, oh, like, he's not feeling good,

so then I got in a truck, and then we started driving home. Already, she's just like full of shit, okay? Yeah. Already, no, that's not what happened. Somebody called you, you looked straight into the camera and said, take my mic, and then you started bullshitting about him having internal bleeding on the inside, well, on the inside, where else would it be? It's internal.

But still, you get what I'm saying. They're just gonna skip over that. Like Heather's not gonna say, what about the internal bleeding? Where was she? Why wasn't, and why wasn't, like, why did someone have Shreef's phone? So then she's like, and why wasn't like, why did someone have Sharif's phone? So then she's like, so I'm driving home

and then a white mini van and a black SUV pull up. So then I'm thinking, I'm being kidnapped. Me, Jen Shaw celebrity, being kidnapped, splashed over the news. And as she's saying, she's like, I'm being kidnapped. And you're your sales and oh thank you so much. Thank you. Anyway, I was being kidnapped. And you're your sales. And oh, thank you so much. Thank you. Anyway, I was being kidnapped.

Oh my God, don't take me. Let's just finish our to choke dip. OK. Also, that would be like ruthless people in real life, right? When they kidnapped Bet Middler, and she's the biggest nightmare ever. I just think, I then, then Danny DeVito won't pay her ransom. And so I'd be like, OK, what about for 50,000,

instead of 100,000? And that meant there's like, I'm being marked down. That's a good idea. Judge Ryanhold just came on radar online and said, I'm retiring again. Okay. Even that idea terrified me. I do like fully, like I think that is such

like an apt comparison, because I fully can imagine Gen shot getting her hands on some like hand electronic hand mixer and attacking hell and slater with it 100% she would be the worst victim of kidnapping of all time She would truly be a monster and she would kill a serial killer. She would Tonight live on the news We see a woman being kidnapped on the for and dropped off. Wow didn't even make it One mile on the freeway And for those who haven't watched with those people it's really it's really an excellent movie I don't know why we don't talk about it as much as we do big business and so dish because it's just it's classic big business and so on. Because it's just, that's classic.

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and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident, not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego

in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So she continues, um, I'm on my, can I see your ID? And he said we're from New York and we just want to talk and we just want to rest you. And I'm like, what?

I love these polite cops. They're like, listen, we're going to Salt Lake City. Everybody says we're rude in New York. I want everybody to be polite. Hello, we just want to talk and we'd like to arrest you if you'd like to come with us. Anna put a smile on your face. No, I don't want to put smile on face. I did not escape gulag to put smile on face. Anna Fine fine. I will carry woman on beach Hey, girlfriend, how are you? You're under arrest.

Guess what? I'm a carry and you're Miranda, right? It's okay. Don't even ask about Samantha. Okay. If anybody doesn't get those references, those are from the Gen Shot documentary housewives and the Hustle-U, you know, whatever it's called, part two, the Tabat Jam. Yeah, there's a, there's a Hulu documentary

and there's a very no nonsense lady from Homeland Security who I would not want to encounter every night in my life. Yeah, I mean, they do. So, but she's also the best. She's tough. Yeah, so, so Jen is like, she's like, so they take me to a building in Ducker Lake

and they put me into a break room, a break room! Let me in for crying out loud, there's not even a proper vending machine and there's like the snobble machine wasn't even working. I was like, who the fuck made this break room, Heather? You don't even know the nightmare! Whoever makes the,

a ths sound, really had a job this week. I mean, after everything they said, it was like, a ths, they took me to a break room! That's and Heather's like were you terrified? She was terrified They handcuffed my left hand at the chair in the break room, and I was like what are you doing? Where are you taking me and Heather goes? Yeah, like where's my attorney and? Jen stops and goes um no, I didn't think I needed an attorney because I didn't do anything Heather Um, no, I didn't think I needed an attorney because I didn't do anything, Heather. Remember I was being kidnapped.

I kidnapped. That's just what I didn't know was that there was a group of police at the house that morning at the Heldor Son at gunpoint Omar. So then she talks about how, in which was that was pretty like intense, about how basically this forces came in and you see the kids getting, you know, and her nephews, et cetera, are like being shuffled out of the house and they had like read the laser pointer on their chest and, you know, they're put in handcuffs. It was like pretty traumatic stuff.

Yeah, but they weren't put in handcuffs that we saw, at least they were let out of the house, but yeah, who knows what happened. I mean, according to Jim, they told her in the break room, you know, yeah. So, but yeah, that was still that really sucked for the family, for sure. So, Jim's like, they pulled guns and, you know, they said, you know, we always tell the boys that they're in a predominantly white community, so they can't react. And it just makes me sick. I mean, what if they move wrong? They could have just shot him. And you know, she's like doing this crying thing, but there's no tears.

I mean, it's typical gem like, oh, please, you know, the police. She's going into all this other stuff, and it just, instead of just telling the truth, although I don't know how you really can. I mean, look, she's not saying anything that, in this case, that is wrong, or is like an over exaggeration of like an emotional reaction, I believe. I mean, I think it is very scary. And she talked about it.

What it is. Family members left South Central to avoid this and hear there in the middle of it. So what she's saying is like, I believe it's real. And I do believe she was like emotionally affected by it. And it's like very scary stuff. But it's also a great way to deflect on the fact that like, oh, but remember, you were also arrested because you were defrauding people in your family.

Right. And that's what I'm saying. So everything, yeah, urgent and emotional, but it's not really what we're here to talk about. Right. Yes. Thank you for putting it better than I could for sure. So she's like, Heather's like, this is just unfair and aggressive.

And I am infuriated. And Jen, Jen is talking about how her family's in this position possibly because of her, because of something that she's accused of. And Jen's like, you know, I mean, it's just really unfair with the government continue without proof. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha you know, I'm always looking for tears on a real house. So no tears and headers like, well, what about Stuart? Who? I'm not familiar.

Who? I don't know that name. You know, Stuart. Stuart. Oh, I love that movie. He's a cute little mouse. A cute little mouse. Stuart.

Yeah. But we got this my favorite royal family. I love the Stuart. So, oh, she's so good at fried green tomatoes. Mary Stewart Masterson. He is good enough, he is smart enough and people feel like him. I'm a more personal stoop since dudes, but you know, yes, if you want to order one, sure. So she's like, I mean, I don't even know what happened with that little mouse, you know.

We went into a little room and then that's when I saw You know, Stuart the guy that I kind of know from the neighborhood or whatever and I was like what's going on? What are you doing here, too? Break room, right? Break me off a piece of that kick-up, right? And then he was like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was like, what are you sorry?

What did you do to put me in this situation that you're sorry for? Because he's very sorry for putting me in this situation, I'm innocent. Yeah, and how there's like, I mean, what is stored? Anyway, is she your business partner? Is he your assistant? And she's like, no, he's not my partner. We're not partners. I'm any kind of business or anything like that.

And then we get a clip of him working on the laptop like two weeks ago and her feeling I'm a banana. I'm saying, I feed you while you work. work while you make me money. I feed you. I mean, especially a task rabbit at best. I'm not even sure. You don't like what they were like. You don't you have a conversation with someone and you're like, you're like, they're cool. You never said me again. No, that's who it is. And she's like, well, he was my assistant at one time and then we just developed a friendship. And she tells us that Stu had his own businesses going that have nothing to absolutely nothing

to do there. And Bravo just starts playing the old-clown music. He was like, BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM And others like, well, do you think that Stuart knew? She was like, I don't know. I mean, I would say no, but then am I being naive? Am I just falling into this little mouse's devious plan? Who is this man anyway? Heather's like, yeah, well, I know how close her and Stewart are and he's her number one and now it sounds like she's Completely trying to just not sure herself from him, but I just don't understand why?

Why? Hmm. So Heather is, started talking about Vail and how they were like reading the articles and she's like, and the craziest thing is that Lisa started calling her attorneys like right away, like crazy. And so we got a montage of like, hey baby gorgeous, did you read the news? Yeah, yeah, hold on.

Hey baby gorgeous number two, did you hear? Yeah, fresh wolf, room chairs. I love that Can I touch one second? Hey baby gorgeous. How are you? There's news. Gencha. I know I touched can I touch more? I love that I'm physically shaking hold on have another Carl lawyer person Nerdtime you cannot get a drink just just sit there, sit right there. Okay, I'm back, Dwayne person. So then Heather's like, also, it's so housewives. Like you've got this woman who is just arrested

by Homeland Security, and you're immediately using this to throw somebody else under the bus. Immediately. So funny. Okay, I think it's actually, again, I think it's actually pretty normal to call your lawyer to be like, am I gonna be somehow in trouble for this?

And they're like, wow, what's she hiding? About six. Do you need to call six lawyers? You're like calling your brand lawyer, you know, in some other country to see. So how they're like. This is a gossip too. I think Lisa just wants it a gossip with people.

Yeah, who wasn't people who weren't Heather, you know, people who have to like, they're paid to pretend that she's interesting saying, oh my God, I'm shaking. I'm not really shaking. 10 times. So Heather's like, yeah, she was concerned about how this would reflect on her

and she was like, no one say anything. We don't want to implicate ourselves. I feel like she said like, based on your relationship with the last few weeks, she wants to distance herself from you. Like Lisa, are we even friends? Are you that easily influenced? I mean, it makes me think that everything Lisa said before, this is bullshit. So, uh, Jen's like, you know, because Lisa read something on the internet and I'm supposed to be your friend.

Without talking to me, you just passed judgment. And I mean, the stuff is pretty damning. We all read the stuff that was coming up and then it was not good. And they had already arrested all these other people, you know, before her. So yeah, we don't need to go over that every episode. But yeah, it's not like nothing was released. Like someone was just, you know, someone was just thrown in or arrested by Homeland Security. It wasn't just that. It was everything. It was a lot of information when she

got arrested. It was a lot. They, they, they, they lined their ducks up in a row. Yeah. I had my press release already to go. So, uh, uh, so then So, so then, so Jen is basically like, you know, she, Heather says that, she's like, well, like, well Meredith has definitely said it's over between you guys, just so you know, she's definitely said it's over. So that makes Jen, now she's fake crying. And she's like, I'm very confused

because I have apologized to Meredith repeatedly and the only thing she can be doing is using this indictment against me. It's like, yeah'm not here to convince Lisa and Meredith I'm a good person and I'm not guilty and I want a big fucking I'm sorry and I'm a piece of shit from them when I'm proven innocent because that is just shitty that is shitty so now we go over to Whitney and Justin. And Justin got Chipotle. And he's like, I cooked Chipotle tonight, guys.

And he's like, he's got him ready. He's got some meetings coming up. And Whitney's talking about how she's going to do a photo shoot for her rebrand. And I feel like she's been talking about this rebrand for a while. But we haven't actually seen any branding for the rebrand. And that continues through this episode. Yeah.

So Brooke, the kid is like, When can I help with this? And Whitney's like, Yeah, she likes it. Like it's a hobby. But it's not just for fun. It is my business. And Justin goes, yeah, it's not a hobby, right?

And she's like, Do you believe it's a hobby, Justin? Do you believe in me, Justin? Justin, do you believe in me? Justin, Justin, do you even believe in me? He's like, I got you the extra scoop of avocado that costs like $2. Can I get a little credit? Yeah.

He's like, I do believe in you. I just don't believe in your brand. I mean, we took half of our savings and put it into this. And I'm trying to figure out how we're going to get that money back. So yeah, she's like, you have to be accountable. And she says, yeah, well, when I say everything is writing on Irish and bow, I am not exaggerating. I have spent my family's savings and then some upwards of hundreds of thousands of dollars. Should Bobby be part of this conversation? Did they call her Bobby or did I just write down Bobby?

From the old girl. So she's like, I'm a mature adult now. Everyone agrees with that. So yeah, and actually she probably could do a better business plan than what Wendy's doing. Well, I'll tell you who's earning their money. The, that's person. Okay, so this is how this, this is how this seems goes.

So Whitney's like, I don't, he says how much money have you spent? That's, because she shrugs. I don't have an exact number with the rebrand by minimums have gone up. That's, so how much do we have to invest?

That's, I have applied for a million dollars in credit. That's, if I don't get approved, it's like a big energy. If I don't get approved, they need another 250,000 dollars as a deposit. I feel like the... It's like a work of tea pots becoming becoming ready like within a second of each other. It's like someone like knocked over the rack of homes all the symbols.

By the way, you know, it's kind of, I'm getting a little tired of in general bravo trotting out this narrative that women and housewives are just kind of like totally inept at business. And they're like, I have an idea. Yeah. I don't know my numbers. I don't know. I don't know, which is like part of the funniness, but like, I'd like for once for one of these scenes to play out, like, oh, I'm going to need some more money.

How much? Oh, it's be this much. And here's all the data. And I made a spreadsheet. And here's my PowerPoint. You know? Yeah, it does get annoying. The first half of the season is always like, I'm a bus girl. I'm a bus bitch. Yeah, look at me. It gets to the next episode and they're like, I don't even understand what dollars are. Yeah, they even did it to Wendy. One of like the most educated people on Bravo and they still made her

be like, what is business? Why did I do this to these women? It's not fair. I agree with you. Or Erica. What's the bank? And everyone's like, Erica's never been to the bank. Totally true.

I don't even know what a morning looks like. Oh, so she's like, well, I did not friend this by Justin. Okay, so you're taking out a million dollar loan with his name on it and you didn't tell him? What the fuck? Leave her, leave. And I'll tell you who else is, I'll tell you who's loving the storyline

sitting in their bed right now, eating some ice cream and just cackling. His ex-wife. Oh, yeah, his ex-wife. His ex-wife. Yeah. A lot his ex-wife. His ex-wife. Yeah. A lot of people actually, a lot of people have a lot writing on this moment.

Yeah. So they basically send Bobby to go shower. Like, that Bobby, this is too much or it goes, no, shower. No, that was actually just a shower. It's broken. Can I say something wrong? No, honey, Bobby's just in the shower.

It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's. say something wrong. No honey, Bobby is just in the shower. So he's like, um, hi, we have an age difference. Remember when I was the boss and you were secretary and then we ran away together, yeah, I'm gonna die soon. So it's like, I could have a heart attack any second now. So I need to leave some money for my kids. I mean you too. So what are we going to do if I just drop dead? And she's like, I'm just real. She puts her hands in her, her hands on her head. She's like, I'm just really happy with some money.

Get out. Get out. She just starts singing songs from Annie or something. Yeah. So now we go to Mary in her closet and this is a very exciting development because Mary has finally hired someone to help her organize the mess that's in there. So the Skrull Alexia comes in, she's Alexia with nice and neat homes comes in to organize the closet.

And so Mary is like, I think everything needs to have its place. And I need some help because unfortunately everything's placed at the moment And so, you know, Mary, Mary's like, I think everything needs to have its place. And I need some help because unfortunately, everything's place at the moment is on my bed. So, she's going to get some organization. Yeah, and she's like, yes, I'm Alexia from Clean Your F**king Closet, what the f**k is wrong with you?

It's a company. So, she walks in and she's like, is this a master closet? Is this a master bedroom? And she goes, yeah. And then all my clothes are in the closet, because there's just shit everywhere, you she walks in and she like is this semester closet? Is this a master bedroom? She goes yeah and then all my clothes are in the closet because there's just shit everywhere you know and Lexi is like are there things you want to get rid of because some of these look like you haven't worn them in a long that this is an actual corset were you even this is from like the 1800s what are you even doing with this? Samarro is like I can can't believe these girls talking about me. I mean, all these things

that they've said that I, because I take people's money, I mean, that's disrespect. That's not friendship. I actually feel a little hurt by that. Yeah, and she, the lady's just looking at all the stuff and Mary's like, you know, it's just stuff I've been blessed with. So, do you know what's that? And she says, most people have, you know, family or, you know, home life, some stuff like that that they're attached to. And I haven't spoken to my mother in 20 years, so there's no attachment.

So, last 20 years, I've just bonded with things in my closet. I like pretty things, I guess. That's a strange psychological connection there. I don't know if I totally believe that those clothes took the place of a mother figure for her. So, the Mary is talking to Alexia and she says, well, you know, I always say the more things I have, the bigger my heart is. So give me things, please. I have the bigger my heart is, so give me things, please. Yeah, give me. I've never heard a religious leader say that, but okay. And then she said, religious leader in the 80s, there was a preacher who was all about like,

money, money, money, money, money, like that was his whole big thing. Like God wants you to prosper. Yeah. Well, we've definitely seen it a lot. We've seen it a lot like prosper. Yes, like he wants to. Like he wants to prosper. Yes. there was a show on Bravo like that

Actually recently remember the show about the preacher's family that was like super rich and have private planes and stuff And they're like, I'd want you to prosper. I mean hell like Joel Austin and his private I mean, it's not like we've never seen it before. It's just funny to hear somebody say that like the more I have the bigger my heart is Okay, it's like it's our duty to help our heart grow to hear somebody say that. Like, the more I have, the bigger my heart is. Like, oh, okay. It's like it's hard to help her heart grow. It's like this, this is actually like how the Grinch should like end, right? Because isn't the Grinch's heart grow or something?

I think I have that story. Yeah, I don't know, I don't remember. I mean, he's just so green, you know? Also, the reason that she's not talking to her mother is because she took all that shit right out from under her mother. The grandmother passed. And then, by the way, listen to the Bravo Docket podcast about this, because it's really good. Those ladies are really smart and they have a great podcast. So go listen to it. But the grandmother passed away. The mother felt that it was her church. Like she was going to be stepping up

and then Robert came in and was trying to take all these businesses. And there was like, I think he was accused and found guilty of like forging documents. And I mean, none of this is really good. So like, yeah, Mary, you have a bad relationship with your mom, but you know, it was because of all this shit in your closet, lady. Yeah, that's exactly right. So now we go over to horse stable, which I believe was the same one in where the fresh wolf party was.

And Lisa is there and she's getting on a horse. Wow, blue is beautiful. Hi, blue, hi, horse, hi, poop. Can I touch? Oh, won't touch that won't touch that I've been riding since I was four years old but thanks that that's how crazy I haven't been riding So I'm excited to get back on the saddle today And you know Lisa every time she says she's really great at something last year it was race car driving

Oh my god my car. She's like how many got faster than anyone? Yeah, I've been driving race guys since I came out of the bum. And then she's going like five miles an hour around the circle. So she's on the horse. Come on, let's go blue. Come on blue. Come on. Come on. Come on. It's like a Lisa. You're on a trash can. You want to get on the horse? Oh my mistake. I'm married. It's like, I think blonde was trying to bang. I mean, while Meredith is like jumping over actual people on her horse. Like her horse is like on my little pony, just like flying through the air, basically. She's on that one. I wish I could remember a famous horse's names other than like Black Beauty. There was that one horse where everyone

like lost their minds over when it died. Remember everyone was like, oh my God, triple horn or whatever it was called. What was that? I don't know. Snake eyes salad. They all have like crazy names. They just like take, yeah, they just put like wacky things together

like cabbage patch and all this back in the bag. It's like Willow Light Switch. Oh, okay. It was like puttin' for breakfast. It's like, can you give these horses a better name? Sally Spork Rider. It's like, okay. Tom's great.

So anyway, so they're racing, I merit this line. Here we go. Oh, I'm like a marital racer. And we never really had a conversation when we were another, what kind of horse racer I am. I like to tread, I like to move a lot, and I enjoy galloping. So Lisa, that goes to town to have tea right in the middle of the smell of poop, which, you

know, is always how I want to have tea too. So they have this awkward tea at the stables. And Lisa's like, well, you know, I was a John and a pack in the other day and then Jen tried calling me and then she sent me the sax and I was like, oh my god. She tells the exact same story she just told. And John said, can I have some water? And I said, sit down, John, John, John. And then he sat back down.

And then he said, what do you want to do? And I was like, I don't know, yeah? Because like, listen, I'm like experiencing the same gender you guys were experiencing. I didn't even know that that side of John. Hatshastar! Yeah, and Mert is like, well Lisa saw how Jen treated me and decided to start a friendship after that and a lapper doesn't change its spots but it could be well accessorized with some merit of Mark's jewelry. So why would Jan be different to Lisa when she wants to meet?

Man, if you're new on your relationship with Jan's shelf down to about mine, and she's like, well, you know what, the ha- what happened before a veil was not okay. There were inconsistent sense with Jan. Like you want me to be there when you need someone to listen or have your back? Clip of Jen. Like the last six months have been really rough. Oh yeah, are you okay?

That's the biggest example they had. Lisa said, are you okay? And then she's like, but when we're in public, you don't even know who I am. And then they show that clip from when they went to being when they like split into teams, and Lisa's like, Jen, Jen, come join us, Jen!

And Jen's like, no thanks. I knew that moment was gonna come back. I knew I was like, why are they showing us, like, because when that moment happened, it got a, I'm like, Lisa, Jen not joining Lisa to go to being. Yeah, that's gonna be the end of the friendship eventually. Some real housewives are he going on there. So she's like, you know what? I just figured out that's a sub on side of it.

And Meredith is like, so beautiful, we trained, mispertrained, and sad, and we're doing the same thing. I did, I did. It's's like you know what like what happened here before that was not okay And our our incandescence is dead and the way she was treating me like you're my friend when you need someone to listen I have your wait. Did I just say all this I totally said all this whoa you know what I want to say instead I thought my nephew died. That's what I meant to say. So funny when I just say those things all over again. It's because I really mean them. Okay.

I thought my nephew died. And Kylian and Tyron. No, just my nephew died. That's not computer. I need a half of the rhyming sounds or I'm not gonna use this conversation. This sounds like to be 66% or I'm in 33% something else. Okay, let's try it from the top.

You're manipulated. There's a terrible word. It really hurt my heart. It is hard. It's hard. She didn't start it a terrible word. It really is hard. It is hard. She didn't start it without a worm. Can I get a mask? Can I get a lip-pink mask? Okay. I was used, abused, and manipulated. Well, you know, I feel like I've given a lot of energy to John and a lot of sub-haha, and I'm not clear about any of the other stuff, and I feel like I've given a lot of energy that John and a lot of sub-hah, and I'm not clear about any of the other stuff.

And I feel sad. Who? I feel sad. Look at me. Who? I feel sad. I feel, I feel sad. After what happened at the photo shoot, on the way John treated me, we're taking a break.

And I feel the same way that with Heather and Whitney, bad weather, bad weather, whiskey weather, whisky, a whisky weather, a whisky weather, that's whisking, that's whisking up in a weather whisker. I'm not, I'm not there a bunch of bag either. I love that Lisa's making her the victim, to j- herself the victim, to Jen. She brings up this like very triggering thing

for Jen about this, about Koa, her, her like stylist. She's like, so, Koa, how about Koa? And Jen loses her mind. And then she's like, I can Koeh, how about Koeh and Jen loses her mind and she's like, I can't believe she was yelling at me. It's like Lisa, you're the one who started that one. And this one too, yeah. So that is this one. So there's a clip of Jen losing it like, how could you put that out there Lisa?

And she's like, I don't want to talk about this. But you brought it up. Yeah, I don't want to talk about it right now. But you brought it up! Yeah, I don't wanna talk about it right now. But you brought it up, please! I really don't wanna talk about this. So she's like, you know, And I feel the same with Heather and Whitney. I'm not that punching bag either. And you know what, really hurt me?

What Whitney said in the morning when we were leaving the hall. And if that was... Lisa is the one who brought Cameron in to say all of this stuff on Cameron. Oh, can we rewind camera was brought in to say stuff to Cameron? Oh, can we rewind? I'm just so bad with money. So Lisa's like Whitney was spying on that conversation and to bring my friend into it and to say Lisa invited cam to her party So Marroth, that's you. Good meet him. That is 100% not true. Cam was invited to my kids party because I's on the board of Utah Foster care, okay? Don't be curious, man. I've stopped. I didn't do because I'll start accusing you of stuff that you do do if you do that

You're gonna start accusing people of do-do Well to be fair, I did just touch some poop over there before that Mr. Secretary left by accident But Lisa you did have him at an on-camera, all mic'd up and lit and ready to go. And then you walked off to watch the scene with the Meredith behind a row of cameras looking all evil watching on. So yes, you did. And was there a rule that your children's business launch had to be a part of a charity?

No, come on. You totally set all this up. Well, while there's me the most. Was that everyone was sitting in that room, couldn't have peace and quiet long enough to let the one person who really had truly been attacked speak up for herself. It's almost like going to a little baby

toddler's fashion show and making fun of it. It's just terrorizing, abusing, and I'm not even gonna bother trying to rhyme anything with either of those words. It was awful. I'm bothering me. Yeah, and whose fault was that? Wooden and Huffers! And then they're like, you know, but I got hot a lot. It's that fault. That's that fault. Trying to dive everybody out. That's that fault. It's like, well, I don't think now is the time to point fingers. It's that far, trying to find everybody else, that's that far. Exactly, well I don't think now is the time to point fingers. Since the dynamic, the very problem, and our entire room, that comes with me. Well I'm not pointing fingers, I'm just saying that you can't play some late one.

It's almost together. I mean everything that's going on in this group dynamic, I mean I don't think no one. Oh, it's an-a-a-a-a-a- her, her extensions, you know, with her hands, she starts crunching on and she's like, that's not, that's not, you know what? This is a fad, I'm upsetting to me. No, I'm sorry, I don't think you said that right. It's a fad, it's a pre-chance of insane. I mean, wings are all trying to trying to say you? Oh no. You know what? Someone's got to have my fucking back.

And this is upsetting to me. Blue, do you have my back? Oh, he's pooping in the corner. Hey, someone call up C-Bis gets ghost. To C-Bis can have my back. No, that there's no ghost. Okay. Well, I'm saying of all of us including me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Fender by that statement Well, you shouldn't feel offended by that statement

Well, I've set up for you, okay? I've defended you. I've been offended for you and I have Thought things for you. Okay, so don't go there I'm gonna go there. I'm gonna go there because I cut my finger about my and I that. And I don't want it about that. I wanted to hear what Mary had to say. No, Lisa Barlow is here. They go to bed and then they can't Lisa Barlow's in their sleep at set of sheep. Why don't Lisa Barlow? To Lisa Barlow's, three Lisa Barlow's,

finally Lisa Barlow's. Wow, you're rhyming, man. That's good. Lisa, you're a little lost in your metaphors and we are in a horse stable. So I recommend we keep it in an egg-wine kind of place. For I've reached the baritone. Meredith, it cuts the Meredith, she's just asleep.

I think wow. Just like it is a very effective technique. I will use that next time instead of counting Seth jokes. One movie, two movie. Oh, it's her, all have it's a herna break, I guess. Well, I'm not taking any response about that, but when his lies are the other's lies, it's very manipulative. It's just as bad as shum. Is it though? No.

Jen's led to people losing their life savings. Yes. So, then we go to Carlin and Jenny. Jenny is taking her daughter, Carlin, over to Cafe Tao. Yeah, this was a lovely scene actually, because Carlin is just like so obnoxiously cute, just like offensively cute. What a cute little girl she is. So it's a Vietnamese restaurant and Carlin locks in like, hello, empty. And they are gonna have like a little tasting

because Jenny wants to have like a Vietnamese lunch of some sort where she can share her culture and her food with the women. Yeah. So she's like, because in Vietnamese culture, when we have problems, we sit down and we talk about it. And we haven't talked since Vale. We all try to do that.

I think that all cultures should try to do that. I'm not gonna know that we all really do, but we should all try it at least, especially over food. I mean, some of my best family fights have been at the dinner table. Yeah, it's good place for it to happen. And I like how Jenny says,

you know, I just want them to know that Vietnamese, the Vietnamese are different from the Chinese and other Asian cultures. We're just not one big. She's like, basically we're not all monolith. You know, she's like, I just want to have them stop asking me about General Soes chicken. I just really want that to happen. Yeah. So this lady brings them a big sampler of stuff for the party and Jenny's like well

Carlin has a very sophisticated palette, so I value her opinion so she'll be the judge and the lady's like Mm-hmm great Great Carlin, why don't you go ahead and give that a taste? So she tastes a spring roll and Jenny's like so far so good and Carlin's like Ah, maybe need some salt salt. I see some salt the lady's like maybe with so good. And Carlisle's like, ah, maybe needs some salt. Salt, just needs some salt, the lady's like, maybe with some sauce. I don't know. I'm getting some, I think it needs a little bit of acid. I'm getting some bitter notes.

Did you mean to have so much shrimp in here, lady? Did you mean to not cook this? It's a spring roll, Carlisle. It's a spring roll, so. So. Please welcome, chef, car driver, and overall, overseer of my life. My mother, mom, what do you think?

Please welcome my very, very dear friend, Valder. Valder. Please welcome two-time, awful person, and winner of most obnoxious person my household my older brother Hi older brother. What do you want to have guess what you can't have it? It's mine. Did you mean for your volcano to suck wind? So She's tasting tasting food. She's tasting a soup and she's like very interesting texture. What the ladies like, you little bitch. I'll kill you, okay, you and you sleep.

This tastes good for someone who clearly has never made yogurt before. Am I right, mom? So the ladies like, so how old are you, little bitch? She's like, I'm nine years old. And Jenny's like, she acts 45. And Karla's like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, we have a winner. Well, except for when she does the ding, ding, ding,

what their fingers like that, but most of the time, most of the time, we can phase that out of her, okay? So then we go to the Shoshale, and Jen is there with Sharif and she's like, baby, you hungry. I have food. So she puts out Popeyes, which we know from last season is his favorite because that's how she got him to his own surprise party by making him, like, fooling him into thinking that we're going to go get Popeyes. When a man makes mistakes, he will bring you chocolate or flowers, usually flowers, right?

If it's really bad, if it's like multiple affairs, like some jewelry, when Jen has done something wrong to Popeye. No, no, no, no. Like, you might as well just admit that you're guilty right now. You know? She can make all the mistakes that she wants

if that means that we're gonna wind up with some Popeye sandwiches. Yeah. So he's like, you're such a good wife for this. And she's like, let's say our prayers. If you would like me to build a website for you, plus press one, stop trying to sell things to God. Okay. Can we just pray for the chicken? So she's like, how was your scrimmage? Yeah.

And he's like, oh, well, the team needs a lot of work. She's like, okay. Well, I haven't even heard from Lisa. I mean, if Lisa cared for me, she'd be like, Jen, are you okay? And she started saying how she reached out to everybody, because, you know, she felt like she just really needed to reach out to her friends. And only Heather responded to me, and regardless of what we went through she was there. You know how hard I was?

Out of everyone I expected Lisa to respond. I expect more from Lisa. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and Jenkins. People say they ride or die like for me to stew and this is what you, this is what you show up. Okay, it's easy for everyone to be there when everything is great. But the second shit goes down, that's when you find out who is there for you.

And who is afraid of being implicated in the scheme that I will try to pawn on to them. Okay. Could you name five minutes in a row where anybody had a solid good five minutes with you? Anybody named the time when it was good with you. Okay. So she's like, I'm at the lowest point in my life But I've told you from day one. I'm innocent and he just goes Okay, okay

Check my butt didn't do any of those things and when we got married for better worse I mean this is worse right now and I'm telling you I didn't do anything And he's like okay baby. I'm a-ha-ha-ha. Uh-huh. And he's like, okay, baby, I believe you. She's, oh, the retainer is $1.5 million. And that's a lot of money from our family. And I feel like I'm doing all this on my own with you. He's, well, what are you saying? Because he's basically like, are you trying to be like,

why is my family not shipping in, right? And she goes, well, we've helped your family for years, for years, and I haven't heard from anybody. So she's going to come for his family now. That's what you do. When you just screwed up your life so badly, you come to your husband and then bitch at him about his family.

I don't think that your husband needs to hear from you about his family sucking right now. What do you think he's hearing from his family? I mean, my God. She's so ridiculous and selfish. I cannot. So she's like, you know, I can count the people who are here from me on one hand, and this is what I need people. This is very eye opening. And he's like, now honey, this is painful and it's hard to feel like those we've helped do not give us the same support. So I do understand your pain. It's a lot. It's a lot.

It's like, but not saying right, right, right, right here. Oh, my graduating. Do you know, like scared I am? Where the fuck is everybody? He's like, but you know, to be fair, you don't have your phone. Yeah. Like, there's been a really, yeah, it's like, I know there was end of the whole time with money that you stole, lady, allegedly. That's right. That's right. He's like I know there for that so long time with money that you stole lady allegedly. That's right.

That's right. He's like, I'm telling you, now this is the first time he's like sort of like broken because he's normally like very calm. But now he's like, I'm telling you as your husband, as you sit here, just because you've not heard from them, people hurt and love you. And I've tried to be a better gay paper,

keeper, I've tried to be a better gay keeper keeper. I'm trying to be a better gatekeeper. I'm sorry but I'm telling you my family, my mother, my father, my brother, my sister, they forgive me for lying. Love you. This is there's a lot of pain. We'll get through it. But I don't want to keep putting this pain on you and the boys. It's like but I believe you know I mean the pain of your family that's the warning me He's like you're stronger than you may think my faith will not falter

I will not leave you period and this will not come back to haunt me in a black and white flashback in a few seasons from now Yanks, so then we go to photo shoot with Whitney and she's even got plastic bags to say, Whitney! Whitney! So we go to her house and it looks like kind of a wedding shoot. She's got a wedding dress on and she's showing off her big rose tattoo on her back and getting a picture.

So everyone's in white and it's against a white background. And as Jenny says later, there's no product. It's a photo shoot for no product. So nope, just people in white, you know, taking pictures. And so it's for Laura's beauty. And she's like, what better way to launch the new brand than to have my brand ambassadors to be models for the rebrand

and free talent. You want free models? That's what you're getting basically. I know. That's why it's so frustrating when you find out how much this costs because you know she didn't pay any of them. Yeah. So Heather's like, oh my god, I'm so proud of Whitney.

Go cousin. I mean, this is a huge billion dollar industry. This oversatur saturated with huge companies with brand recognition and tons of leeway. I have to add it to her. I'm just glad she's gonna up her, you know, put her name on it. I mean, if anything that's gonna make her stand out,

it'll be Whitney in her face. That's gonna stand out against Clareal. Lori Al. She words it in kind of a way like she's fucked, but I'm yeah so happy for her for trying And you know what I actually liked iris and boat better than wild rose iris and boat leases That's like kids right or brothers or there's some where's a dog's I don't know, but there's some like emotional connection and like there are all those brands that are like Lily and poopi or like Moppy and Shmoppy

and you get a fancy catalog from like Odys and Photos, but like, I don't know, I think Wildrose kind of doesn't make sense in my mind. But what am I? I'm not at marketing genius, I'm just someone who watches TV. Yeah, well, like we said before, a Wildrose hurts, okay? That's what I think of when I think of Wildrose. And cut those thorns off, okay? Ow. That's what I think of when I think of wild rose. And cut those thorns off, okay? Ow, that's what I think. Yeah. So it has this.

This is called the French Mainstowns to everybody. Cheers. She just drinks from the bottle. Yeah. So Whitney spent $20,000 on this photo shoot. I don't know, I don't know why or how, but she did. And then when he does the most Whitney thing, which is everybody, please give a big woot

for my team for pulling this off. Woo! And Jenny's like, this is people dressed in white on a white background with a dog. I don't see any product in this. And there's nothing really about wild roast anywhere. And I don't really know who organized it, but I need to fire that bitch. All the product still says iris and bow. So now the girls are

outside drinking champagne and there's like I'm feeling like I'm so glad you're my friend and I don't need anybody if I got you Whitney. Oh, sorry Jenny. Sorry. I know rude. Jenny's like, well thanks. Okay, that reminds me. I want to do a fun night because it sounds kind of like fuck you, which is what I want to say. And so Jenny is going to invite everyone and everything. everything and Heather's like, oh by the way, I went and I had lunch with Jen and she's okay, she's sad. And she feels like unfairly targeted and she feels completely innocent

and confident that she can defend these charges and she's devastated that it's so public and hurting her family. I mean, it was kind of awkward because she started screaming that the artichoke tip wasn't really supporting her, but you know Once I swallowed a little bit and told her that it really believed in her things were fine, so it was a good bunch overall She sold a website to the waiters that way he could work from home

So Heather said Jenny's like do you believe her? She says well, I hope and pray she's innocent for her family and for all of us You know, I wouldn't wish this on any family So Whitney's like well, I have been struggling on where I am in other relationships In this group with Lisa and Mary specifically I'm so sick of fighting with Lisa, but she keeps dropping all this information I'm so sick of fighting with Lisa, but she keeps dropping all this information about Cameron like a little breadcrumbs and I wasn't okay with that. So I went to the source the bread Did you get a circle back as a panco was Italian seasoning and can we just get like a full picture here? You know what I want a

Path made out of tortillas That's what I would like. I would follow that path. You know, if you just drop some ground beef over and roll up that path, you got yourself a meatball. I mean, listen, even moving beyond bread, I mean, Reese's Pieces worked for ET. Would he even come out of that tent? Uh, honestly, if I wound up at some witcher's house and she tried to eat me, I'd be okay with it because it'd be a great meal. No, what I meant was I went to the source. Um, Cameron was Cameron eating bread?

What were the breadcrumbs? I just want to know whether they were breadcrumbs. Just tell me that part. I'm dying about. I'm going to get breadcrumbs. Does he actually make loads of bread to or just the crumbs? No, it's a metaphor. Cameron's a metaphor for the breadcrumbs. No, the bread No, it's a metaphor. Camerons and metaphor for the bread crumbs.

No, the bread crumbs are a metaphor. I can't follow this any further. Okay, let's just forget about bread. Never, never. Okay, okay. Starting over, I got Cameron's phone number from Angie Herrington, and I called him, and we talked for three hours, and based on our conversation, I'm bad with money.

Am I in the wrong scene? Where am I? If Lisa knew one tenth of what I knew, and if one tenth of that was true, then one tenth of what I know, and one tenth of the truth, as one one hundredth, it's a breadcrumb of truth. Mm-hmm.

Mary is bigger and better than we ever realized. Another sec. I'm sorry. Are we in Hansel and Gretel, or are we in the three little pigs right now? I just need to know. Big bad wolf. Yeah, big bad wolf. And I was thinking about the bread. I'm like, well, one of them did happen oven. Just on the wrong path. We've talked too much about bread.

Can you see the dumb just completely gone now? I'm like, I'm done now. I've been working on my Ficaccia. So I'm thinking a lot about bread. Oh, yummy. So, there's like, so are you just going to tell us what Cameron said? Are we going to have to go Um, so there's like, um, so are you just going to tell us what Cameron said or are we going to have to go ask Mary? Well, this is Lisa's thing. She started it. She planted it. She planted bread. I thought that you harvest the wheat first. No, stop it. So here's what we're going to do. I'm going to go to Lisa. So there's no misunderstanding and she can feel uncomfortable. Oh my God, this is the dumbest plan ever. Why aren't you going straight to Mary?

You gotta love her. She's like, so there will be no confusion. I'm going straight to Lisa to talk about Mary. No. Just tell us also. Just do it right now. Right. So Jenny is like, she's like, yeah, you should do this

because Jenny says, you should do this because Jenny says, you know, I don't think Lisa has time to scheme, okay? Like she's too busy, she doesn't, she can't have time. I'm like, but it's a pandemic also. Lisa has plenty of time to scheme. And the thing is this, like, and you know what? Actually, Jenny is probably correct.

Lisa does not have a lot of time to scheme, which is why her schemes are so clunky and hilarious. Like the catering, she just think, uh, oh, hold on, I got a phone call with Robert Redford about some dance. Oh, um, okay. Hey, uh, K, oh, say, hey, Aubrey and Mark, just like show up at the restaurant and say, I'm great. Okay, okay, sorry.

Hi, Robert Redford. Yeah. Um, so now we see why Whitney is going straight to Lisa and not to marry because she says I do not feel it's in my best interest to take Mary down alone. I need you. I need you. I need Lisa and I need Meredith. Okay, so now your plan is just to take Mary down. Look with me. It's like believe me to take Mary down. She's so bad at it too, you know, that's what cracks me up about this show. It's like Lisa, yeah, Lisa has some clunky, mm-hmm, I'm like, she's the with these do with these does too. It's just funny. It's like watching housewives and missteps all over the place.

Yeah. So Jenny's like, why are you so scared of her? And when he goes, she tears me apart. Think about it. Mary, she's used her congregation following and obeying. They think she's God. Mary is not used to people standing up to it. So when her friends do it, it dot dot dot dot dot. And Jenny's like, but we're not her congregation. Like who can't she's like, yeah, but I know that here's the problem all all of us acts like we are part of her

Congregation yeah No, no you don't none of you do and she's like I have been friends with Mary and her congregation for a long time So I'm going if I'm going to walk away from a friendship. I need to know the facts Whitney here's a fact your friendship ended three episodes ago and you keep acting as if it's still like every episode is like Are you saying we're not friends? If I'm gonna not be friends with this woman I need to know what I'm saying. It's like she dropped you three episodes ago She said you're not her friend at every episode you're acting like oh

Wait, we're not friends? Yeah. It's over. Oh my gosh. What a show. It so cracks me up every week. And I worry when it's over, because this is 2.13. So usually, well, the first two seasons were pretty short.

I guess the seasons longer, because they've got all the gen stuff. So that's good, because I haven't seen that they're shooting the reunion or any of that yet. Yeah, amazingly. The Vanderbump Rules reunion already shot, and there hasn't even been a midseason trailer. And this one, we just got the midseason trailer, which the midseason trailer is usually not truly

the halfway mark. It's usually like two-thirds the way through. But yeah, but they haven't even shot the reunion. I'm assuming they'll shoot it in the new year. I can't imagine them wanting to shoot it like this week and then have to do post-production over the holidays. So yeah, I mean, there's just, there's so much that the season's been absolutely amazing. They're just like so much happening. It's fantastic. So good.

So good. So everybody, thank you so much for being here with us. Go get tech, go get tech hats. Go get tickets for Crappens live over at watchartcraftens.com. We're going back on the road in January. Also join us for take a seat tonight Monday nights, 7 p.m. 10 p.m. Eastern over on the green room at by Spotify.ify. Talk to you, Lina. Bye, everyone. Boy. Ech-sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Dana C. Dana Duh. Aaron McNickalus. She don't miss no trickleus. Hava Nagilo Weber. Jamie, she has no last namey. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch.

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