Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC: No Longer on the Outs

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

It's an hour of healing on this week's Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. First, Jen and Brooks bury the hatchet as Jen apologizes to Brooks for not interpreting her comments correctly. Then later, Lisa and Whitney broker a truce over gin and pie. We're just glad no one was ejected from a sunroof and sent tumbling down into a neighborhood.This recap is available to watch on video with Crappens on Demand. Check it out here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/57293652See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts! It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off! Voice only! Launching during Pride! Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music,

or wherever you get your podcasts. Watch what crap is watch what crap is who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is What happens What What Hello and welcome to Watcher Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo, let me just love to talk about, I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today is the wonderful and hilarious and just so adorable. Ronnie, Karam, what's going on, Ronnie? How are you?

Hi. How are you? Hi, how are you? Hi. How are you? Hi. How are you? So today we are talking Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, the latest episode.

Before we get into that, first and foremost, this is a crap-and-zondemand episode. So if you go to patreon.com slash watch what happens. Support us at the crap is on demand level. You can watch us record and not just listen to us record. So you can see what shirts we're wearing. I won't say you have to come see. By the blue again, we're having another blue day. We're wearing blue t-shirts.

Yeah, we're wearing blue. Wait a minute, wait a minute, I'm trying to. I'm sorry. I'm a little bit more people. No, just kidding. I don't know the shade of blue, they don't know what your t-shirt says. Okay.

Also, if you want to be learned to see my knee gigantic microphone, come see it, it's huge. It looks like a baby's head. I'm looking at it where I can't stop staring at it. It looks so big. We have to thank our friends at Sinisterhood for inspiring the purchase,

mine will be coming soon, and begin which we did have them on our bonus episode last week, which we actually released in the main feeds as well. So go listen to that. But the thing I really wanted to mention was that tonight, if you listen to this in time, we are doing take a seat on the Spotify Greenroom app. We will be talking about Salt Lake City. We'll talk about Potomac.

We have to talk about Megan King Edmunds marrying into the Biden family as in President Joe Biden. And we're also got to, we have to talk about the trailer for the new ultimate girl strip that just was released today. So there's gonna be a lot to talk about on it. And of course, it's not just us talking about it. It's you guys too. It's an interactive platform. Download Spotify Green Room and then come join us at seven on the West Coast, 10 on the East Coast. Be sure to follow Ronnie at Ronnie Carrham and me at Ben Mandelker. And then you will see when the room starts.

So go do that. And the last thing that I want to mention is that we have some cool special announcement to make next Monday. So be sure you are watching our social media or listening to the show because you're not gonna want to miss it. Okay. Whoa! Whoa!

Okay, so here we are with the real housewives of Salt Lake City, Ryan! Ha! Ha! Ha! I wrote down from my first note, soft-ha. It was like, I guess, it was like, it was normally when the show opens up, the Trixi Monaco, Tabern tabernacle choir comes in strong like

But today it was like a jazzy like a Well today they actually did a very good variation of it. They used a dong ha. Okay, here's how I went Yeah, that's the one. Dong dong dong dong dong dong dong dong dong dong dong I mean they're really really just the way that they're using their creative tool kit of like religion It's like a dong and then the ha I mean I just The dong ha was really wonderful Don't we have yet to hear my favorite anthem? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't know why they are depriving us of that, but hopefully that comes back. So I think Real Housewives of Atlanta was like, we like that and we're a big show than you, so we're taking it because that is now on the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yeah, I was really upset how that happened because you're right Atlanta took it

and then it never was heard from again on Salt Lake City. Well, Salt Lake City, it deserves to be on Salt Lake City, okay? So we open up, we see Sharif shoveling snow outside. Shatto, I mean, Shala, Shasha Lay number two. And Jen comes out with like a jacket and she's like, are you still shoveling? And he's like, yeah, I've been doing this for five hours. And she's like, well, I think you should let

the shovelers do the shoveling, don't you think? And he's like, he's like, well, I've just been doing it. Well, how about you wear a coat? He goes, well, how about you should have given me a coat five hours ago, because up and out here for five hours, you have an ass. He's like, I don't need a coat. This whole thing is weird, okay?

Yeah. I think he's trying to kill him, Chau. I think he's doing whatever he can to get away from Jen. He's just standing out there willing to freeze himself to death, okay? I think he is. To get away from Jen. He's just is aware that there's a legal activity that's happening inside the Shale. And he's just using many.

He's like, what's there? I was shoveling. I was shoveling for five hours. It's on record, okay? Yup. That's exactly right. I was struggling for five hours. It's on record, okay? Yup, that's exactly right, Alibis. So then Jenny is in the closet helping Dewey put on a shirt for the day and she's like,

oh my God, my nail's almost stabbed you in the eye. I'm like, I wish you would. If he keeps up with his, you're gonna have more babies at 40 something after 13 miscarriages, he could use a little stab. He could use a little stab. He's a little stab. And then we're very violent today. God, I killed the first one, the first husband,

and now I'm ready to stab the second husband. Sorry, I'm actually having a very good mood today. It's all that dong-hawing. You know, I think the dong-haw kind of like summoned a spirit inside of him. You know? Then we go to Mary and she's in her kitchen and she's baking and she's like, she's sort of singing her own song.

She's like, I'm gonna make with me some cookies. I'm gonna make some cookies and she's cracking eggs into bowls and once she cracks eggs into bowls or into the bowl, she goes, one, chickadee, two, chickadee, which I feel like is kind of a... I feel like is kind of a... I feel like you're really,

you're really drawing an image of what these eggs could have been. You know? Yeah, you're making this like a sad cookie moment, you know, which actually is fitting considering what she does when she brings the cookies, but for now, yeah, she's just singing to the butter like a crazy person. And then once she gets, she's just singing to the butter like a crazy person and then once she gets She drops a little

God was wrong with me. I'm so sorry was wrong a start over start over cut it To And then she just like drops an egg into the bowl and then she scoops it out and then she or there's like a little piece of shell in there also. Yeah, so he's just having shell Thank you. She's going through it. She doesn't finger dance, which I love because she gets the egg out She's like finger dance finger dance. Thank you Jesus for helping me in this moment And then we and then we go from Dongha to more of a churchy kind of, like, tabernacle moment where it's like sad. Yeah, it's real sad at first.

It's like, and it goes into, it's like we're gonna be sad. But now we're partying. So then we're at Lisa's house and she's like, what are you doing today, Jack? And he's like, I got to work mom. I'm like, what are you, brother? Are you? Are you brother?

Are you brother today? What are you doing today, brother? Who's that man? I don't. I think I was wondering if you work at some sort of a community center where he like referees like some like kids playing volleyball or something. Hockey or hockey, hockey makes more sense. So I don't know if he knows this, but I thought you would, I thought you might

know this because you really love an under the radar detail. But while Lisa is talking to Jack, he exits the room and when he exits the door, creaks close. But while this is happening, they cut to her title card. And the thing that Lisa does in the title card, which I think you mentioned on a recent episode, is that she sort of squats. Did you notice what happened, Ronnie?

Because she does, Lisa. I saw her little title with her squatting down in a little bit. She does her a squat. And they coordinated the creaking to happen when she squats. So she's here squatting down a little bit. And they coordinated the creaking to happen when she squat. So she's, you see her squatting with a lot of, eh. Yeah.

I saw that, editors. I saw what you did. You made it look like she farted a little bit. Yeah, I saw that. So when I do love that she's such a real housewife, she's like, okay, you're laughing? Okay, go rough. Fast, rough, go fresh.

Are you gonna fresh? Are you gonna fresh her a bath? Okay, go to it. So then, go fresh. Are you gonna fresh? Are you gonna fresh her rough? Okay, go to it. So then you see that on her stove, right, right next to her stove are three bottles of Vita Tequila behind her fruit bowl. Ha ha ha. Look, what a convenient place to keep all your Vita Tequila.

So John comes in, he's like, hi. She's like, John, I didn't sleep all day. I didn't sleep. I mean, I know it's my fault you didn't sleep either. It's just exhausting, okay. She's like, John, I didn't sleep all time. I didn't sleep. I mean, I know it's my part, you didn't sleep either. It's just exhausting, okay? It's just exhausting. Hi, Kendall. Hi, that's my dog.

Hi, Kendall. Kendall, Kendall spelled DLE. Yeah. Say, you know what? I am like a 32 ounce big gop right now. I am so drained, okay? I am so drained. I have no dark oak inside me,

and I was expecting to go last night to adjust pada'a and have a great time with my girlfriend, and I was blonde-saddle, okay? I felt a little bit, okay? I was a blonde-saddle. It was an actual blonde-sided, like when Sandra Bullock just tried as hard as she could, and then she suckets screwed over at the end of the movie

He's like, oh, that's not how blindside ends. I mean, I didn't see it I just assumed it was about Sandra Bullock trying to adopt a caterer and then getting stabbed in the back with the roast fork She was just like to help Yeah, I thought like Sandra Bullock the time that she was driving a bus and caterers came on board and brought a bomb with her I was blindsided. That's not the blind side either. That's speed. I don't do drugs.

What are you accusing me of? I'm feeling really worried right now. So John's like, the blind side was about football. I don't care, John, I felt the ambush, all right? I guess well, you feel like that because you actually were ambushed. And she's like yeah like Sandra Bullock and blindside nope she was not ambushed and blindsided like like Sandra Bullock in that movie Where she tore down buildings and she got a good reputation for it, but they gave all the credit to the men

Like no, that's not even the plot of demolition man. Mm-hmm, and that's not the blindside either Wow, what a waste of a Gucci outfit. Seriously. I don't like that movie with Sandra Bullock when she watched Gucci and then fell asleep for the whole movie. That's while you were sleeping is not about that at all. She didn't sleep that way. She wasn't the sleeping one.

So, I just started saying that you're trying to sabotage my thought. I'm a parent that. She went to lunch with Whitney and apparently I was a Typical conversation and apparently she's something like when he thinks I apparently divided in her on apparently cuz Whitney is not coming in and having an opinion on my Relationship with apparently on chat What he used the word manipulative apparently wait Did she use apparently or manipulative she is with she is manipulative a parent like a parent like me apparently manipulative it's like the

parent trap of Sandra Bullock she wasn't in that she wanted that one she wasn't oh it's like that movie where Sandra took a dark hook and put ice cream in and was like look hope that like that's not it's not the word doesn't even match, hope it doesn't match. Well, I don't know why Whitney was trying to answer and her saffon there, trying to find her yeah, old relationship, like why was she just, ah! Whitney made comments like, you think you're better than me and you think you're up here and I'm down there

and I think Whitney's been waiting for a moment to be like, I won, I won, I took something from Lisa, I could take Lisa's friends and it'll be like, you lost, it's a crash, like that movie crash was under a bar. Actually, that's accurate. Good job, Lisa. I'm rapidly running out of time to book movies. I'm like, I'm like, John, John is all impressed. She finally got one film, right? And it was like the most depressing one out of all of them.

I feel like I'm gonna crash, right? Yeah, she wasn't crash. Yeah. Oh my gosh, that movie. She's just amazing. She was like rich and white and all that stuff. So Lisa's like, Lisa's like, I feel like every time I'm with you know, it's funny I wrote every time I'm with Lisa she has a problem with me, but it's just funny

I have to imagine Lisa's out talking about that better stuff every time I'm with myself out the problem with myself Every time every time I'm with Whitney she has a problem with me Well, I don't know if this is like devil's advocate. Oh, my God. I hated that movie. You know what? Seriously, why was it Sandra Bullock in that movie? Charlie's there on who needs Charlie's there on that's clearly a Sandra Bullock role. Um, but do you think if you actually got together with Whitney, you could work it out women. Am I right? Women. I feel like I have been a great friend to her. Just how Sandra Bullock was a great friend to George Clooney in Gravity and they both survived.

Right? God, I would look good in the diaper. That's all I can think about. I love Gravity, a movie about someone who's afraid of falling over while going to 7-11. Hahaha. Remember that part where George Clooney got hit by flying starry film gaps from 7-11? I felt so bad when that big gulp took out George Clooney and gravity. I felt so bad when she went into the 7-11 and couldn't figure out how to get out.

I thought she was gonna die in there. Thank God that 7-11 fell into the water. Hahaha. Marry's all good. Wins. I thought she was gonna die in there. Thank God that's having a love and fell into the water Mary's all good So she says that Whitney always has a problem with her and all this and so the producer tells John Do you really think Lisa and Whitney can make it work and he goes well? Obviously, I like hanging out with Justin, so I hope so. Wow, this first time has ever been said about Justin. Like someone's like, please work it out because I really want to hang out with Justin right now.

Yeah, it's so much personality. So then Lisa agrees, she's like, this is unhealthy. It's toxic! So she agrees to go make good with Whitney, which is hilarious because anybody who has a good friend named Sashal Medea would know that Lisa was actually vindicated and last week we were going on, like look, obviously this is a believable story

that Lisa can pull the power move of calling the cater and having the caterer cancel. But apparently that is not what happened. There were text released. So there's like proof. And basically, I'll save us all 10 hours of me reading the internet. But basically what happened is Lisa got a text from this chick Angie and she said, and Angie was like, oh my god, turns out, I like, I just watch a show and it turns out, like I'm totally related to Whitney, I just saw it on the show, like we're both related to a shadow rock. And Lisa says, don't claim her.

So that's the big thing of like, deny, deny Whitney, right? And then the next part is the caterer. Aubrey, Aubrey got, Aubrey up sat, Aubrey got, Aubrey up sat and took the Instagram. the next part is the caterer. And she said this is all a lie. This Angie lady is just trying to make drama for the show. I never promised her I was going to do her event. We already had Lisa scheduled to come into our new restaurant. We were going to get publicity for the scene that we shot in our restaurant. Angie wanted everything for free for her party, so she arranged for Aubrey to call Dina, who is a producer at Bravo, so Dina gets on the phone,

the caterer says, listen, I'm gonna get publicity for my catering company, right? And she says, no, we can't promise you that, because it's a catering company. Like, what are we supposed to say? Like, thank God for Aubrey and Marco. No, you're not gonna get that, but you can't do everything for free.

So Aubrey said, no, I'm not gonna do it, but I will hook you up with Marco's brother who's also a good caterer. So she ended up getting them catering. So this all worked out and Angie is just trying. That said, well done Angie. Well done Angie. You did a great job.

You did a great job. Angie, congratulations. You took up 75% of the previously zoned. So I don't know if I'm not on this episode. You did. Well done. You did it now. You know the way you needed to do. Lisa's only a season two housewife, but you can't out Lisa Alisa.

Unfortunately. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you tried it, but you still got Barloat at the end of the day. But no one knows that on the show yet in filming time. So Lisa is still going to go through with this, which seems weird, right? Lisa's going to go make up with Whitney. Something is still wrong. And you know that Lisa's got some bullshit planned. So let's see what it is. Speaking of Whitney, we now go over to our house where she's talking to her Brooks, because apparently she has it Brooks as well.

So man, it sort of didn't really realize until just this moment that there's two Brooks children on the show. And Brooks needs to do his homework. And he's only done 15 minutes of it. So anyway, she's also talking to her daughter, Bobby, and she's like, how was school, Bobby? She's like boring as always. She's like, okay, cool. So then Mary shows up and she has brought cookies

and Whitney is surprised because I think that Whitney is surprised because the way all of us are surprised that Mary knows how to do basic things in the kitchen like turn out and oven or follow a recipe, right? And Mary's like, I love to bake. I love to bake. I love it, I love it all the time And she's acting like Mary does this walk in like she's on a late night show and everybody is cheering the audience. She walks in like this

That's a way to live that's that is how I want to live I want to have an imaginary late night She's kind of nodding around the room like up at the rafter is like smiling. We're like me me She was nodding around the room, up at the rafter, and smiling, we're like, me? Me? Me? So she announces she made cookies, and Whitney's like, I had no idea that Mary knew how to bake. This woman is full of surprises. She leaves her closet.

And then Whitney is like, we should have a cooking lesson from Mary one day. And Bobby's like, like today. Like today, she's like, I don't a cooking lesson from Mary one day and Bob. He's like, like today, like today. He's like, I don't want to do homework. Let's make a good use. Yeah, and Mary goes today, I'm tired, tired today. One of our members from our church, their daughter, had a crash. Last night, I'm gonna like what?

Like they're just staring at her with concern and she's like, she was ejected from had a crash. Last night, I'm gonna like what? Like they're just staring at her with concern and she's like, she was ejected from the sunroof. And fell down into a neighborhood. 30 feet drop off the freeway. And Bobby goes, and in her mind, the late night audience is like, and then, and then Bobby goes, is she still alive? And when he goes, no, no, no, no, I'm excited to be, I'm excited to be, excited to be, it's like, huh? And she goes, where's he built?

She's smiling like laughing. She is, nothing you say, Ronnie. She is fully doing a routine and a late-night audience is responding to her. Right? Totally makes sense. Okay, I'm gonna respond to you. I'm gonna respond to you. I'm gonna read you in the monologue and you be the audience reaction, okay?

Oh, I wish I had sound. I wish I had audience sound effects. Maybe I do on my dashboard here, because I think I don't have audience. Okay, so I'll just go. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Just do it like that, okay, ready? Yeah.

Okay, today I'm tired. It's like light, light laughter from the audience. Okay, because one of the members from our church, their daughter had a crash Last night last night she was ejected from the sunroof She fell down into a neighborhood 30 feet drop up the freeway If she's still alive

No Up the freeway. And she's still alive. No. No. Excited to be here. Where you see Bell. Yay. It's really hard to do audience support out of the day. You did a good job. I mean, look, as someone who loves an audience, I felt like the audience could have been better, but I feel like you did a good job.

I just felt like it's not you, Ben, but like the audience could have been better, but I feel like you did a good job. I just felt like it's not you Ben, but like the audience. I was like, I was giving everything, and the audience like, why were you not standing? Yeah, I was trying my best. Well, we can recreate it sometime when we have an actual audience. Commissions, here comes one right now.

Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you

step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So, yeah, so she tells this whole story. My favorite detail of this wacky story, which if it's true,

is very tragic. Is her saying that this person was ejected from the sunroof and fell down into a neighborhood? So I'm assuming it's like an overpass of something. But like, the idea is like the Santa Claus. It just sounds like the Santa Claus, right? Like they're whackly on like the Santa's sleigh flying over a city and like a little kid is like dangling falling off down into the city or whatever That's what I was thinking. It was so odd. I mean it was sort of like the previews for LeBrea that are happening now where like there's

A crater on LeBrea at the LeBrea Tar pits in LA and it is the tar pits, right? Is that what it is? And then like inside is like a prehistoric world of some sort according to the commercials. Oh for Christ's sake. Is it possible that that Mary's just watching Promo's friend be seen? Content? Is it just possible that she just, she can't tell the difference between the NBC like, she just gets mad every time this is us comes out and she's like, I'm not them.

I'm not them. No, what is it? So then Whitney and her kids are just like, okay. So then Mary's like, wow, okay, that feels good because now they go down to the basement and sit down. And so also undersell how truly amazing that little scene was. That was like one of the most amazing things.

We've seen it here. That was a classic. I mean, I've watched it many times because it started going around on the internet last week. And I thought we should make like a little meme for this. What can you say? What can you say?

I thought about mashing it up with Eric and Jane because we have like two really fantastical car wreck stories going on on Bravo right now. But it's like, you know, you don't even need to. It just doesn't. Maybe we'll just do that. Maybe I could just put her, maybe I could just put her telling the story and then put an audience to it, like laughing or something.

Okay, so anyway. That's a crash. No, it's just a crash. So then anyway, so they go down, sit down with the basement and start talking and Mary's just like, oh, it kind it feels good to sit down. I've been waiting for this all day, all day. I love that she's complaining about having to deal with the lady who died, you know, like she's Mary.

So she asked about Angie's house because she's like, I heard something happened. Okay, I'm raising my hand. I'm raising my hand because I want to say something without interrupting you, even though I actually think I interrupted you anyway. So I love that Mary says, so I heard that something happened at Anjus House last night, and I'm completely out of the loop. As if she were, Mary was there, that's my favorite part.

Mary was actively there. She saw us no idea what happened at this party. I know because they all went into that room except for her, right? And Jenny maybe. So she was like stuck because everybody started making their way into that room for the big fight. So Whitney's like, Well, me and Lisa have a history of saying, let's move on.

And then, you know, all over nothing, issues come back. And she's like, I wonder why? That kind of pains me. It's like that pain to you Marys more upset about this shit than some lady flying out her son and breathe into a neighborhood. Yes So when he's like I have tried very hard What did you do to offender and she when he says well, he says mad because I'm friends and cousins with Angie. Um, and Mary says, well, I can only hope that that's not her mentality. Also, who is Angie? Did she go out of a sunroof recently? Well, I don't think that she will ever be in my interpersonal space.

And Mary is like, well, if you know that, then by let all this other stuff breathe, I mean, you keep talking about it. You're letting her in And she says that Whitney feels validated by Lisa because Lisa has a cool factor and Whitney can see that and so her insecurity and her youth makes her not know how to get to that friendship side when all she has to do is Shut up And she does the bulge just a know how to get to that friendship side. What else she has to do is shout out. And she does the bold. She does the... Mary's actually correct on this one, I think, you know.

And when she asks like, why do you let this breathe? When he does that thing, which is, it's just who I am. I love when people do that. Like I'm just too good of a person. So Whitney says, I know, I don't like Lisa, she's not my vibe, but I also have this sense of needing some sort of respect or acceptance from her. And Mary Basis, like, well, that tells me you want to be your friend. So you want her in your life. So Whitney, it's like, yeah. Yeah. So then piano Oz, just some reason I always,

I have not seen that movie in like 25 years, but I always think the Nicole Kim and like anger piano playing, like, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh and you know, fucking around on the piano. So I really liked it. I felt a kinship with Heather at this moment. I was like, girl, your 451 is really killing that. Yeah, she really was hitting some nice chords. Also, I appreciated, did you notice that next to the piano, there was also like two violins on the wall. I was like, oh, she has a whole set up for a little concerto going on there.

Yeah, she sure does. So they go out, log into the online portal to see if Ashley has been accepted into school. And boom, you wanna new iPad from Amazon? Just clicking and giving me a social security number, huh? I was like, do not click on that shit. Confetti went off.

You know, Jen's behind that shit. Yes, exactly. It's like when you go to rip something off of YouTube, you have to go to one of those sites like white you made and then like a window pops up. It's like flash and staller and it's like, no, no, no, I will not be, I will not be fooled. UCSB. Also, I feel like the scene was shot on an iPhone. And also, it was, I think it was must have been like a producer was there or something. But here's another thing. A lot of I have a lot of hot

takes guys today. And to this hot take for the scene. I like when you warn when you're like guys. It's a hot. I have something to say. It's a real. I know it's going to be about. This is a big one. This is a big hot take. Okay. Okay. I'm braced. So when they walked from the piano into the kitchen into the living room, something I never noticed before is that Heather's living room is like two stories tall. To me it always read as a single story living room and so my hot take is Heather, your living room is giving single story energy. Okay, let it live its two story life.

Okay, that was my hot take. Holy shit, that was a hot take. I just got labrated. It was, I was like shocked. I was like, that is it. I had no idea. There was a second. It was like a big open, like two story living room. Yeah. She's living in a library. She's been done dirty. They have not had any sort of like big vertical, like tilts with the the camera and she doesn't have any like ridiculous tall mirrors or things like that. She's very much like a single story living room. First of all.

You're giving me a single story energy. Yeah, okay. I'm like, let your living room like, let it be the tall living room that it is. Yeah, so she did get accepted into Santa Barbara, so she's super excited. And every school that she's applied it sounds like is basically in California. So Heather's like, oh my god, you could go to like so many different schools.

Like this is crazy right now. And she tells us she is so experiencing so much. Like she's just looked into this little one story, but kind of two story at some point's house. It's like eating peanut butter in jelly every day. And then suddenly she's going to the Chakurama buffet. I cannot wait for her to see all the options and then feel terribly guilty afterwards. The Chakurama, have you heard of the Chakurama buffet? I have that a thing.

I have not heard of it. Maybe it's some sort of buffet that's exclusive to pioneer ancestors and their Dare descendants. I don't know. But then you can only bring guests that you like share some kind of DNA with And then ultimately the scene ends with Heather and Ashley wondering you know if if People who get in get confetti what do people who get rejected get? Like just tear emojis coming down. Which I thought was just thumbs down, rains down on them. So then it's snowing, so Jen is driven to a restaurant and then her assistant Marillo

comes and opens the door and puts a umbrella on her and walks her in And I just keep thinking you need to get paid because I know you're not getting paid Marillo. Okay, stop the ass kissing Let's be honest. This is probably a fed Just like in that movie Miss Congeniality where Sandra Bullock has to hold up an umbrella for someone to get to the to find out who the criminal is Sandra Bullock has to hold up an umbrella for someone to get to find out who the grimmit is To get into the beauty patch and Marie loves of secretly a beauty patch and person So then they walk into reality

Conjureality so they walk into this empty restaurant and the lady goes um, do you have a table? Yeah, bitch. I got 50 of them. Okay, the looks of it Okay, I'm working a shop and I have a follow up to that in the moment So that absolutely fabulous you working a shop girl you can drop the attitude all right So Gentiles us it's finally D day. I'm going to jail. Wait. I'm sorry. I'm going to sit down with Brooks And she's like yeah, Brooks has finally agreed to fit me into his schedule to beat up. And we see a minute a week earlier that Jen had faced time with him.

And what would be nice? Merce was fathoming Meredith, yeah. And you did, it looks like when, have you seen that commercial where the service is so bad on the phone that it keeps going out and the lady's like, okay, well don't worry about the office party. I mean, it's serious or something, but it makes it sound like it's not serious.

It's not a costume party. Yeah, it's not a costume party, but it breaks up so she hears, it's a costume party and she shows up in a costume. That's how Meredith looks in this scene. It looks like the service is coming in and out because you just see her go, huh, that, hmm.

Also, Meredith is really like, she's really embraced a Mimoji energy. Like she really looks like a Mimoji, is that what they're called? Like the Apple version where people are doing a thumbs up, like it's like a bit Mogi, but I think it's Mimoji. Meredith is just sort of like a Mimoji at this point. So she's like, yeah, well, I'm excited for that. She's also given up on pretending that her wig even fit her damn head right.

Like she's doing this thing now. I don't know if she putting princess laya buns on the side of her head and then putting on a wig. Her hair looks crazy, okay? She's, she's, her hair is going like this. Like there's obviously, it looks like there. For Jen, she's like coming in with like this like there's obviously like there For Jen she's like coming in with like a 10 gallon hat like all right Jen Yeah, so Jen's like well, I hope that Brooks listens to me It doesn't pull a Meredith Marx and this turns into a 10 month apology to her again because I'm already on a apology Jordan number two

so so then Meredith and Brooks show up and Meredith is looking to bright red blazer and bell bottoms and then they walk in the restaurant and the hostess, this is what I wrote down, the hostess goes, are you guys joining someone? I'm like, bitch, there's no one in the restaurant except for Jen Shaw. You think two separate camera crews are coming in here, coincidentally? But she tried it, you know, she got her lines in, so that's good. She got her under five work for the day. So Meredith goes, yes.

So they walk in and she's like, oh my God, how are you? And Brooks is like, good, how are you? It's freezing out there and he goes, yeah. So, well actually Jennifer, we have the weather hasn't discussed what sort of weather it is. Whether it's freezing or warm, that's up for the weather to disclose and not you, Jennifer. Who are you to label the weather? That weather is a toddler and does not need to be told who it is. I'm sick of the icing, the deicing, and the snow.

The so meritous hit, Sarah, looks at Jen and Brooks is like, Mom, I think we can talk privately. I mean, we're fine. I mean, thank you for org of straining everything. And she's like, all right, I'm gonna go give them, I'm gonna give them a little room and I'm gonna sit at the bar for a minute and if anyone needs me, I'm right here.

I'm like, yes, we know because you're still in frame and you're bright red. Like, those entire conversation, she's sitting there, Meredith is sitting there and doing such a bad job of like pretending that she's not you dropping. She has her phone and she's texting like, Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, I'm texting right now.

You see her hand? Her hand is going up like six inches at a time, like text, text, text, not listening at all. I'm doing my own thing because I'm a busy woman right now. So she is full on doing the Ramona singer phone swipe thing So he just stares at her he's like He's just giving her that like like wow and so she says um thank you for coming Brooks um I Talked to your mom and I didn't really understand what she was still heard about

I talked to your mom and I didn't really understand what she was still heard about, but then she told me and I like broke my heart because I didn't know any of the comments that were made that made you feel like that. And also she told me about comments that were made by like my Twitter account and were liked by my team because I don't wear my own social. So I told them I have to take responsibility because it's my team. So I just want to say I'm sorry for that too. So I'm taking responsibility for not being responsible for anything that's happened. Okay.

Responsibility for saying things that you took the wrong way. So he's like, yeah, well, my perception, it looks like you, it was you on social media. Like I had no clue. It was someone on your team doing it and I don't know how to articulate the pen I went through because of everything. He's just a small little bar. A painting! I have a brass waiting for you if you're hungry.

I mean, mother, I can dease myself. Okay, well if you need anything or Binky is ready. So then we go to commercial and we come back and we get the Brooks monologue. He's like, I don't want to get emotional again because it was really a difficult about I've been on my journey of self-ex. Actually, I can't do that because it's really long.

So basically, he's talking about, yeah, we'll be here all day. So basically, he says he's on just journey of self-exploration. And so to see people calling him names and using them as weapons like Sissy bitch and stuff like that online has been very difficult. He can't even talk about it. And, you know,

what he said about what she said about him, people just took that as truth and talked about like that. And it just hurt him because he didn't have a voice in all this. And his voice was being taken away from me. And she stole his voice. I was like, okay, you are a gay teenager because you just turned yourself into Ariel, the mermaid. Also in your mind, this is your 10th scene on a show that's not about you. So, Jen's like, well, I would never want you to feel like I somehow outed you.

Did I out you by any chance? Oh, you're not out. Okay, the only reason why I made any sort of comments, not and by saying that I made comments is because my teammate I actually don't know how to talk what you're hearing right now is a simulation of my voice. This is there's someone behind me who's who's moving my chin and someone else who's speaking through wire okay but what that person is saying is that you know it's just that like I made comments because

someone was asking about my vagina and I would say, oh well, he probably hasn't even seen a vagina and I know a man, no way meant refer to your sexuality or anything negative. I was just referring to the fact that you don't understand anatomy because we're a very dumb young boy, that's all. He's just listening to her coming his hair with a fork and she's like, listen, you poor unfortunate soul, okay, I literally like, I didn't want to talk about my vagina.

So I deflected it and then I moved on like not knowing what you were going through. But now I do and I can see how that would hurt you. And I'm sorry. And I'm also sorry if you saw my Gigi. Okay, I'm gonna say she's Gigi because it's like the cute wave sounding of saying vagina. Is that okay with you Gigi? Oh my god. I love Gigi Hadid. That is so cute. sounding of saying vagina. Is that okay with you, GG? Oh my God, I love GG, Hadeed. That is so cute.

That is so cute. So he's like, thank you. And so Jen starts to cry and he goes, oh, I don't want you to be upset without my camera nearby. I want to put on the gram. Hold on one second. Okay, now you can cry.

Cry, my camera. And she's like, this has been on my heart forever. I mean, not mine, because I really didn't know it was happening, but like my team's heart. It was on my team's heart. My team was hurt. Actually, so I just bought a heart CD, and then I was talking about this and I printed what I wanted to say, and I put it on the CD, and I was like, where's my CD? It turns out this was actually on my heart CD, so that's what I meant. So Meredith is like, I really, really want this is peeing from my child. To see that they came to some sort of understanding for me was a massive relief.

And Jennifer didn't even have to say, open up the hanger. Here comes the apology plane. Here it comes. She could just, he could comes the apology plane, here it comes. She could just, I mean, could eat the apology like a big boy. Oh my gosh, I mean, maybe it's because I've been living in Texas and that's some added stress, but I don't love hearing anybody apologize for their vagina. Okay. And I'm so sorry, sir, that you got your feelings hurt, but you are purposely coming onto a real housewives show over and over, starting shit with one of

the real housewives, and then continuing it into season two until you get a sit-down with a said housewife. I'll be crying over here, okay? Yeah, I think that ultimately Jen Shaw is an idiot for. She was, I do not believe it's her team. And if it was her team, she was way to, it took her way too long to come to realization that like it was bullshit that she's, it was her, at the end of the day, it's still her friend's son. And she, it's either like you either go whole hog and you just, you're like, I'm going to be an evil person who's going to mock my friend's son?

Or you are just like, oh fuck, like I really fucked up. I forgot what I was gonna say, the caffeine's hitting me. Well, I agree with you. I mean, it's totally gross of her. I absolutely don't know for a point, by the way. It's totally gross of her to go after someone's kid and all that. I totally agree with that.

And Jen is, you know, Jen, she's vile. And she's even, there was some stuff about her Private messaging someone and so I'ma saying, well, is that on your staff gay and her saying, well, he's married But he did leave the office early to get Britney tickets if that tells you anything. So she's really just always gross. So that's not even In question for me, but Brooke still just makes me fucking crazy. Brooke makes me fucking crazy. It makes me fucking crazy. And he is a 21 year old young man.

Baby, child. Child, I mean my god, they still machine up his bananas. For Christ's sake, leave the boy alone. Yeah, so ultimately everything ends positively. And Jen's like, who's completely my fault? The things I was just deflecting my vagina. I was just deflecting my vagina. I was just deflecting my vagina. So now, if you really want to get into the gross stuff,

it's time for Guy's Night. This assault lake city's attempt to recreate the magic of New Jersey, which to be honest, I don't love the Guy's Night on New Jersey as much as everyone else does, but that's what we're gonna talk about, Guy's Night's, they are kind of like the high water mark on Bravo for guys and nights, right? It's either them or like

PK and Mauricio. Yeah, for his PK Mauricio are making an attempt and they're doing a pretty good job, but you can't do this in Salt Lake City. It just doesn't work. I mean, guys, night is where you get wasted. You talk about strippers. You joke about all the girls around you. You want to fuck because you know your wife is going gonna kill you, and these guys are just like,

we're pressed you talk guys, so they're like, oh my god, we went to Casino night. Look, can we even talk about it? John and Justin looked terrified to be in this scene without their wives. And, uh, Coach Shaw is like, oh God, actually he looks relieved. He's like, I don't have to be, I don't have to be party to some crime right now. I can be in this bar. He's like, you know, I just put down the shuffle.

I mean, I've been out there for 19 hours straight. So thank you for having. He just actually shoveled his way to the bar. So it's the only one who's a little, a little whole cover opens in the floor. and he's like, hi guys, good to see you all. He just comes on out. The only one who seems to truly be happy to be there, of course, is Seth, who comes in

like a sitcom into this bar and goes, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, and it's like, yeah, oh god. Seth is always on Guys Night with himself. He just comes in all fucked up. He's like, yeah, Guys Might's like a casino. I never met one. I didn't like. I love every Guys Might. And he's selling us this and he's wearing a jacket with a button and then a big ribbon that says Brooks Mark. So Brooks that's sarcastic, right? No, I think this is like he's supporting his son's So that's sarcastic right? No, I think this is like he's supporting his son's

Fashioned ever well, I and as he shown me has one thing that does not get rid of and though because that this is the first ever Blazer designed by an actual baby. Okay, baby design is blazer and should be respected Here's the boss baby right here, our mother fuckers, okay? You know what he did? He took out a label maker and made a label that said Brooks Marks punch a hole in it and taped it one side on the inside of Blazer, attached the other side to a lapel button,

and you know what we call that? Reaction, yeah, reaction. So do you think that he really designed this blazer? Is this an actual blazer that he designed? Because if it is, I'm sorry, but I've never seen a man look more like Kermit the Frog in a blazer. Okay.

Michigan J. Frog is so mad he did not refer to him. He's like, I'm the one in the evening where. So anyway, so Seth comes in and he's saying, like you said before, he's just saying weird shit. He says, hey, what's up? What up JB? What up JR? Great initials, great initials. I'm like, I just sort of can tell this is the way he also starts off every business meeting, right? Like, oh, Totally 100% meeting me here. I got my samples JR, MB, LS, love those initials guys, let's talk to the guys. Listen, pie charts are like a casino. I never met one I didn't like or a let's get on with it,

JB whip it up, whip it up, JB. Okay, for the guys night to be guys night, I'm talking, I'm not talking to your wife, you're not talking about my wife. Let's be guys, right? Hey, let's be guys. LBG, love those initials, LBG. So they take the script from Jersey where they're like women, am I right?

I'm like, they do that. Like the woman is so crazy, am I right? And they're like, yeah, it would be so nice if we could just all hang out and everybody got along. And so then it's really awkward and posy and everybody's just kind of sitting there and such on it's like Anything good since we all hung out. I ended up showing my wife the blind side Which I guess was the first she was on her phone the whole time, but hopefully some of it got through

John by the way, I don't think John knows what to do with himself, because he's like, he orders an old fashioned and then he's like, with an A-hope, please. I'm like, I'm like, oh, you get it with the killings, like, yeah, it's really good. This is your first time ordering an old fashioned. Yes. The first time ordering for himself at all. Yeah, you didn't know what to do with himself. So yeah, so that's all. Like, sorry, sorry, your wife called. We've got a grilled cheese and a martini glass for you. Okay, I'm like, that sounds better. John, John, you know what, you can make up for it.

Why don't you lead us in a toast? Just like, okay, let's force some good friendships, which by the way, we're gonna think to say, let's force some good friendships, deal with stress, whether we cause it or not, and have hell of a lot of fun. It's like, John, is that your first toast? Yes. She doesn't even let me eat toast. So this was big.

What do you mean by force some good friendships? I'm not sure. I'm just trying to remember things I saw on the magnetic poetry on the fridge today. That Lisa wrote. That's what I said. Some good friendships. Tell us, Riasma, that we consider not and fresh wealth, okay? Yeah. So then, they're, John's like, so anything good since we hung out and Seth is like, uh, how about we start with this? Everyone's still married How about that? How about that? How about that? You know what from the outside looking in He's talking to Justin because from the outside looking in yours looks the best, huh? Huh? Because you have a freaking strip of poll in your house, huh?

Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Yeah, he's got like the hot young wife at the stripper pool. So this is going to go over grade at home by the way. Um, and uh, Justin's like, you know, there's only certain occasions I jump on that stripper poll. I mean, I don't really know what I'm doing up there. Really? I would never guess Justin. You just seem like such a natural on a poll. So then, uh, watch it. Watching Justin on a pole. So then watching Justin on a pole would be like watching like Rudy Giuliani taking the stage at scores or something, you know? It just like, yeah, it's not the, it's not meant to be.

Not meant to be. So Seth's like, so do you still have the sex life with your hot wife? And he's like, well, actually, that's interesting that you say that because like it's literally, it's literally just taken a pause because you know Whitney's schedule is just crazy crazy and then we just actually had a discussion to get that going on again.

Seth is like, okay, I was hoping for more of an image that I could jerk off too late at tonight, but that works too. My deal with Meredith is I can have sex with her anytime I want as long as I don't wake her up. Huh? Huh? Anyone? Anyone? Oh my god, assault.

How bonding. What a fun bonding experience. Seth is, by the way, this is what Seth reminds me of. He reminds me of the kid in high school who is not the most popular one, but is like friends with the most popular one and is the one who hosts all the parties, right? So he always is doing the things that sort of like sound like the thing the cool guy says, but kind of always overshoots.

And it's, he has a scissor. Yeah, scissor. Yeah, he's like, yeah, fuck a washi sleeping. Okay, so that's a rape confession. That's rape, okay, that's rape, you're rape your wife. Yeah, but thanks. And he's like, suggesting, fuck a while she's sleeping. Okay, so that's a rape confession. That's right, okay, that's right. Yeah, but thanks. And he's like, suggest, and what about you? You have sex with your wife while she's still awake.

And he's like, not really, but meaning like, I never have sex with my wife, you know? And Shereef is like hiding. And he's like, this is the most crash shit in America. He's like, I have a semi public position. I know, he's like, this is cringe for me and I coach football players, okay? I literally am in locker rooms every day.

And this is too much. Yeah, he's like, this is cringe for me and I live with a future felon, okay? My wife is going to jail and this is more embarrassing. Hey, what are you doing over there, Shereef? He's like, shoveling. I'm shoveling the carpet. Just shoveling the carpet over here. Don't mind me. I'd like to make a toast. Shovels are pretty. I like butterflies. The wall is nice. All right, we'll work on that job. We'll

work on that job. So, Shaw's like, you know, I just look, our sweet wives got to recognize what we're doing, you know? I mean, look at us, you know? I can't we just all have a good time. They started off beautifully and then that just deteriorated. But if they're happy, we're happy. So what do we think, guys? What do we think?

And everybody just pauses, nobody answers, and then we see like what they're thinking. And it's just their wives losing it on each other, you know Also, I really didn't like coach Shaw saying multiple times our sweet wives our sweet wives I just stop calling them sweet wives. Have you seen the way they interact? They are not sweet So now we go to Jenny. Well, he's that kind of guy. He's like I say sweet wives because you can't say like Those bitches we married, you know? So it's like, you know that that's what he's not saying. So when he's saying our sweet wise,

it sounds like that's what he's saying. Does that make any sense? So now we go to Jenny who, this is big. It's Jenny's first scene at Kuchina Taskana. One of the pillars of the Salt Lake community, you know? Kuchina Taskana. Yeah, it's big. So Jenny goes with wetna.

And Whitney, basically, it's a very awkward, because they don't really know each other. And they talk about having their own business and how Jenny used to have five different medical clinics. And Whitney's like, I respect that because I have been a traditional wife, but now that dynamic is changing, like cooking and cleaning and laundering, his version of cooking is ordering dominoes. HELL!

Kachina Tuscana is like, you're ordering dominoes and we're just barely getting by in this pandemic. Fuck you! Yeah, so, um, so yeah, so then they're talking about how Whitney wants more kids, but Justin got snipped and Jenny's like, oh, well, that's fine because my husband wants more kids, but I don't want any more kids. And do do ease in his 50s, but she's only in her 40s

and she's like, you know what, when we're younger, we had lots of ambitious and we want the big family, we wanted to travel, we want to have sex five times a day, but like, I don't want that now. I don't want the baby fat. I worked to work for this body. I don't want that anymore. Yeah, and she doesn't wanna be pregnant,

she doesn't wanna do surrogacy, like she doesn't wanna deal with any of this stuff. And Whitney's like, okay, that was a fun conversation. Did I do my dominoes joke? You did. How did it go? It killed. Okay, let's talk about Lisa.

I was hesitant to come to lunch with you because you are Lisa's friends, and we have our herstory, which is like history, but with girls. Jenny's like, Hey, yo! I'll just wrap up talking about my own personal trauma. As in struggles, and we can talk about you in Lisa, that's fine.

So Jenny is like, well, did you guys start off on the wrong foot? I think that Lisa is very fun to hang out with, but something with Lisa is that she doesn't like to talk about people and assume stuff, and she doesn't want to feel like she's giving you the wrong information. She wants to make sure she has the facts before she opens her mouth. Which doesn't really make any sense. I don't know why she's saying that.

But she basically sounds like Lee's, she's saying whatever Lee said told her right. Like, you know what? Bueller's giving you an amen by the way. Yeah, so I'm gonna look at him. Ss. Fear their out. And then he followed it up with a yawn.

Oh really? Are you bored, Bueller? Are you bored? Hi, Bueller. Hi, Bueller. Hi, Bueller. Feels like, get back to the show. Love you. What do you do that?

I cover the camera so I don't look at how cute Bueller or cover my face on the screen so I don't look at myself. Okay. Point is, I think Lisa told her like, all right, listen to her. I just want you to tell her that like, I don't even know her. Like, she shouldn't assume things about me because like she doesn't even know me. So why would you assume that you know what I'm saying? So she's like, well, Lisa likes to know what is going on and not say things that she doesn't know about. Okay, well thanks for trying.

Lisa, a good Lisa is like maybe like a big foot. There have been sightings, you believe it, but you've never seen it because she was really only go up to size 11. That's the wrong big foot with me. Huh? Did I get the joke? Did I do the joke right? No. Wait me. Whitney is like big

fat. You've heard of it, but you've never seen it, but then one morning you see it made out of three balls of snow with a carrot for a nose on your driveway, and you're like, well, I see big foot. It's frosty, the snowman. No, no, I got it Lisa Lisa is like big foot you go and you can get it you can get it toasted or not toasted and put whatever toppings you want But for me, I always do six inch. You're talking about foot long Big fat like you hear about it, but then you never see it, but then one day you're pushing your card around and you're like, oh my hey, oh, Domino's. So she's like, all her friends say she has these redeeming qualities and she's amazing, but she does not allow me to see that.

And Jenny says, well, you know, communication without listening to each other is not going to be effective, you know. And when he says, well, the fascinating thing with Lisa is that we don't want to listen to each other. It's like if a pizza and a big foot got Jenny's like, don't, don't go down. Just stop. Yeah, just stop. Uh, you're really, now I really don't want to reproduce. Okay.

You're making this look more pointless than ever, but thank you So then we get a shot of the city more choir music and then I saw the funniest fucking street side. Did you see this? They do street signs in comic songs font Wow, are you fucking kidding me? Slipside lane in comic comic, sans, sir. Okay, I'm bored of, I didn't even know it to write after this. I had to rewind it 10 times, because I was like, Sarah say,

Comic Sans! I feel like that was a task for Ashley's school. I can imagine that there was a scene, like on the secrets episode, you know there's a scene where it's like, so today I really want to stay, but Ashley and all her friends have been given the job of

remaking all the signs in Salt Lake City and they've chosen Comic Signs. So it's gonna be wonderful. So if you see a stop sign and it's in Comic Sands, don't worry, it's real. Your city needs to get some damn crime. It's what needs to happen, okay? This is what your city, this is what your city was. All council meetings are, deciding to change font on street signs, get some crime. I am seeing this Ronnie sent me the picture It is very much like it's like us snoopy font. It looks like it's peanuts. Yeah, it's like comic sands mixed with like

Jillian, you know like the handwritten fonts or the it's like very whimsical It's like well congratulations. You made it to the mountain for skiing and that's actually We Congratulations, you made it to the mountain for skiing and We did it. That's we're having fun. So now Heather and Meredith are skiing and I wrote down We just see a montage of them just skiing on the slopes and I said the music I described it as a tricky rapture because it's like I actually don't remember how I sounded. I just said it was rapturous. Oh, skiing.

Oh, so they're skiing and have this like, well, you know, Meredith is like, she has better form for sure, but I have bigger balls. So then they ski, Meredith does really ski like she talks like she's like snow plow. Yeah, laughs right. Well, I never said either way if I was gonna be going through those slalom flags. It's not a pretty tall please. I've got a toddler in home. Well, we're not Beverly Hills, but it doesn't mean I won't ski at Diamond. I'm saying. So they won't ultimately at a, they, they, they, they wind up popping a squat outside

of a place called Last Chance Lodge, which I thought was funny for a few reasons. First of all, I feel like with skiing, I don't want to say Last Chance. Yeah, you don't want to say that. People can die. Also, this where last chance kitchen is filmed, like I'm imagining Tom click yours inside like, well, guess what? Well, we always say we'll see what last chance kitchen and you guys are fully excited to come to last chance kitchen. Thank you. Welcome Heather. Hello, not chefs. 30 days quick fire challenge. I want all of you to pronounce charcuterie correctly. Mernus, like, can I get a shurned tunery?

You did it, although that was kind of cheating since I just told you, Darn. Hi, chefs. For today's challenge, we're gonna roll gale down a ski slope, and when you get to the bottom, you have to cover it with the topping. Enjoy! Oh, so Heather's like, oh my god, this feels like a great place to meet man I mean this is where they end the rhyme and weird. It's like but they're covered in hamed a tall How would you know it went for one you like and she's like Having them disguised as part of the appeal Have you seen my ex? I'm really not that picky about looks

so Have you seen my ex? I'm really not that picky about looks. So Heather's talking about Ashley getting into UCSB and everything and Meredith I thought this was an odd thing for Meredith to say about UCSB right after Ashley just got in because well I remember when Brooks was considering it and he didn't even know anyone going there and I don't think any of my children even knew. I mean, what is Santa Barbara? I was just like, University of a soap opera, I don't get it. Aren't you worried? And she's wearing a Chanel helmet, which is just so the show. So Meredith talks about Heather's like, well, you know, how did you have a conversation with Chloe?

I mean, when you sent her off about, you know, like, getting it in the Pokey, poking it in the, you know, in and out. And then that's the thing, right? It's like, sacks. Well, my kids were very open with me about went on sexually and how they got from point A to me to see to being told that they hope someone slaps their pussy bitch face on Twitter. being told that they hope someone slaps their pussy bitch face on Twitter. So my kids have been very open about what they do sexually with me, although we still

have not had a conversation either way about what their sexual orientation is. So we just have to make assumptions, but no, but they're very open otherwise. I'm like, okay. Yeah. So there's like? No, I mean, I haven't had that conversation. I mean, I just raised them so more than it wasn't a concern because she wasn't gonna have sex until she was married. And I guess she could just get married and then the guy could just, you know, honker boobs and then she just figure out what that was supposed to mean.

You know, that's how it works, right? Wow, sounds like a real good time girl explanation. I'm sex, but unfortunately it's not. Can you say the word sex to me? No, I can't. No, no, I will not say that. sex, say it, sex, sex, sex. No, I just don't want to even talk about it because like talking about it feels like it's a permission slip. Like, you know, or or if we talk about it, but they're not having sex, that something's wrong with them if we talk about it, but they're not having sex,

that something's wrong with them because we talked about it, and now they know what sex is, and then they're not having it. So what's wrong, it's like, if you don't know what pizza is, but then someone explains that it's doughy bread with cheese and sauce all over it.

All you can think about are pizza. All I can think about is pizza, I'll be right back. Actually, you know, then Heather tells us, the first time I really figured out what sex was, I was over at my friend's house and we were watching taps and we knew what time the naked scene was going to come on. So we held a towel over the screen so we wouldn't see the poobs.

But then, like, but then my friend showed me a book and all I remember was that it was a pop-up book and it had two chickens and I was like, is this what happened during the tap scene and they're like, no, keep watching what happens with the chickens. And then the chickens said, you can't handle the truth. And that was another Tom Cruise movie. And the point is this, whenever I think of Tom Cruise, I think of chickens having sex.

Nicole Kidman is at home like me too, darling. Me too. A year ago, I would have been horrified at the idea of my daughter having sex before getting married, and now I'm horrified of her not having sex, because I want her to have lots of sex and go from peanut butter and jelly to the buffet, and I guess what I'm saying is I wanted to have sex on a buffet sometime. Well one matter I can send him right now, isn't you really need me to get them to talk to you? And also tell them to always have condoms.

Always have condoms. And because you gave your kids condoms to an absolute man. You just came home and said here's some Cap Capri Sun and condoms oil I have never been a big proponent of gills. But I am a proponent of condoms. So then Lisa shows up to the outpind bar for what fresh baked pies. It's a very big scene for pies. Big pie pies. Big pies!

Hi pies! Hi! It's Sarah here! And then Sarah comes out. Hi Lisa! Hi Sarah! How are you? Nothing like Jinnin' Pie! Jinnin' Pie! Love that! Love that!

You know what? John Barlow gives great advice and so on taking out. And there was a possibility of having got energy with Britney That girl I'm reaching out to her also, you know what you can't spell new beginnings without G.I. Wink wig so when you show so Venus coming out with Jen, right? We have to imagine So Whitney shows up and she's wearing these jeans where there's that certain style of Jean that I've seen lately where like the the sides of the jean are fully cut out. So you have like the inner Jean pant leg is still intact but the outer is not there anymore.

And so I've seen that style. I know that's a style. I think it looks crazy, but I know it's a thing people wear. But Whitney was like, I'm gonna take that style, and I'm gonna one up it by filling in the cutouts with some sort of like sheer tool or twill, or whatever, lacy, sheer fat. So she's just sort of like wearing like a weird,

it's like her, both of her legs are lesbians getting married to each other. It's like a two wedding dresses on each leg, you know? Sort of fanning out. Who's definitely a weird outfit. So she, I'm still, two lesbians. Well, me and you are in my hand. I'm doing lesbians, I'm just imagine two wedding gowns getting married

with the legs, the legs are. But they don't have to actually be there was never a conversation either way. And why the legs? No, I'm asking those jeans. Well, they're essential. Wow. I'm sick of the, I'm sick of the deflecting

and reflecting and aligns about those jeans. Just a general note to any server out there of the deflecting and reflecting and aligns about those genes. Just a general note to any server out there who might encounter me in real life. If I'm sitting at one of your tables and you say something like this to me, oh, don't worry, we have the Botanicals pulled for your drink. Go fuck yourself. Okay, that's what I have to say to you.

The Botanicals for my drink. Get the fuck outta here with your Botanicals for my drink. I don't even know what that means. Like, I don what I have to say to you. But botanicals for my drink. Get the fuck outta here with your botanicals for my drink. I don't even know what that means. Like, I don't know, I don't understand. Cause they have all these grains and flowers and stuff that they're doing for like the homemade gin experience. Like, I don't need the experience.

Just get me the goddamn diet coke. Okay, I don't need the satgarine botanicals sitting in the middle of the table. Okay, just go jerk off in your own home, okay? Yeah, I need you jerking off all over my table. And I apologize, everyone. I just realized I lifted up my iced coffee and put it literally next to the microphone

so you could hear it on my end, it's just like ice sloshing around. I apologize. But I want to give the real feeling like you're sitting there at a gin tasting, you know, you hear the sounds of botanicals. Oh my god, that sounded like the botanicals were already appalled. It sounded like a duck hook.

It sounded like a duck. Anyway. Hey, Whitney! How's it going? So, like, get. And Whitney's nervous because it's her first girl's day. And she goes, I'm really curious to find out why Lisa wants to meet up with this.

curious to find out why Lisa wants to meet up with this. And which is a reference to last episode when Lisa said, why do you want to hang out with this? So she goes, do you like John? I hope you like John. I love Jen Shah. Although we have a Rocky relationship. No, not Jen. John. John. John. John. John. And I guess this band is very nice, which is why it's important that we... No, not John. Jin. Jin. John. John. Okay, look, I think I have no beginnings. So I was hoping this would jump sturnas in that direction of the new beginnings, because you know, John had so much fun with Justin at Boys Night. John was hanging out with Jin at Boyz Night. No! Jin, John, John, John! Come on, wet man!

Ha, ha, ha! So, okay, he was like, John's not a joke, he's like, you know what, I have a common friends. And I'm like, I don't think we're white friends. I thought we're white friends. All we friends? All we friends?

Ha, ha, ha! And she's just doing this like smile thing and like, winks at Whitney and Whitney's like She leases laughing at Whitney's not and Whitney goes My perspective is that we're not friends and Lisa's smile just drops and she's like Bella wow Well, there's a lot of messant operatations that happen with my Tantan's and I feel though Everyone knows what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling. I just don't always think that's accurate

And if we could get to a place where you and I understand each other and we could be like that Sandra Bullock film Extremely close and incredibly upfront. What's it called again? That would be great I'm starting to run but can I get a drink order from you guys the waitress and with me. Thank you So do you you know what do you? Um, I'm sorry. Do you have a guy shave your class? I'm what am I writing here? I got John Do you guys have a bad? Do you guys have a classic P.G.N.E. you know it's a cocktail that's inspired by an energy company?

No, what about a P.G.N.E? You know it's a cocktail. That's inspired by an energy company. Uh, no. What about a P-G-N-T? Yeah, we got that. Grab it. I'll take that. I'll take that. So good. What about your- what about your pies? Do you have that made by Berwin Peacan or the Apple Pie?

Uh, we sure do. Oh, well, take one of each. What's take one of each? And what he is like? Um, well, a larger piece of Apple because I'm allergic to pecans. Oh, allergic. That's like my friend. It's that reminds me of that movie where Sandra Bullock is allergic to fish.

It's called the nap because that's how she gets the fish. It's called the nap. So we don't need an epiphan, do you? Because like, okay, tell me, are you allergic to pecans like you, Epiphen, or you allergic to pecans like you're allergic to fashion? Because it's like offensive, but it doesn't really kill you. More like it kills my eyes more than it kills you. Which I said, when he's like, um, Winnie, why don't you just say no pecans, I'm allergic

to it, order something else. Why are you still getting a slice of pecans? You're giving her way too much power in the situation Right it's like that movie with Sandra Balla called two weeks notice about the woman who has to call and give two weeks notice before she goes into a rots around So she doesn't anything that would kill her great mother great mother You know it's like two leaks notice where you have to give leaks notice it like someone's coming in allergic to pecans because leaks are like I'm not getting eaten today but then some dumb bitch doesn't know if fashion comes in and is like I'm allergic to pecans.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, it's like that movie. Practical magic. It's where they use magic in practical situations so pecan pie arrives but you're allergic so use magic to turn into more apple pie. I love that movie Finally magic use practically So Whitney's like so Let's talk and she's like well depending on this conversation you might need an epic and ride

So Whitney's like look do you have a problem with me? Is there something about me that bothers you? Well, Puffy sleeves besides the Puffy sleeves. Well, let me the Daisy Duke pants with the silk only on the outer thighs a little Besides the Daisy Duke, but that was really long. I don't want to repeat all of that. Okay, no, but other than that No, nothing nothing bothers me Whitney. I love Whitney. I mean, this is crazy. Like, I love Whitney. Everybody listen to me. I love Whitney. She's amazing. She's like a for top at a restaurant. I love that, right? So she's like, I want to understand why the other night at Cassina night when I walked into the room, you go, what is this doing here? Oh yeah, yeah. Me like that.

The problem was I didn't want anyone else coming to our conversation. So I met with like, what is this stupid woman doing here? So I should've said this stupid woman, who probably wears bad jeans, and as part of, if you were to put it with Heather, she would make bad weather, like a force of nature. Oh, I love that movie Yeah, I just met like you know

What is this doorknob doing here? You know like a knob like you with me. Come on. I'm in a good way, okay? I have a name and when you say very rude things how am I misunderstanding your intention? You're so right things, how am I misunderstanding your intention? You're so right. Claris, that's your name, right? Claris. Well, I think from my press back off, like, I just feel like everyone thinks that they know what I'm thinking and like, what I'm feeling, but like, they don't really know what I'm thinking. What am I thinking right now? About pecans. Oh my God, you're right. Okay. So in that situation, you literally did know, but like normally people don't know okay right now. What am I thinking?

Big gulp Yes big gulp of diet call come my god. You're actually really good at that. Yeah, we actually should be friends Although I thought we already were friends. That's so funny. So when he goes well, I'm just not saying like I'm not just saying what I feel about you to be rude. You like you told Angie, don't claim her as a cousin, but like, how does that look like your big misinterpreted? Like, oh, no, no, what I meant was like, okay, you know, like when you go to a party and then you leave your coat at bag check and then you're walking away and you're like, I just stuff my coat at bag check.

And then your friend is like, that coat is hideous, ugly, stupid, and nobody likes it. Don't claim it. That's what I meant I mean, what's the big deal? Yeah, I've been friends with Angie for 25 years and if I saw her having discord with someone else I would never seek out that person and I felt like she was seeking you out Which is crazy because I'm having discord with you and like I think that's why you're sensing my defensive energy because I was like, Anja Like if you already have a Lamborghini in your garage, why do you want a shitty scooter with a broken wheel? You know what I'm saying? Now this is the part where she was actually honest because most of this Lisa's just like, what?

I totally like you. No, you don't. You hate her and she hates you. So just say, I don't like you because you're a dumb hooker. He's always trying to come into my business and you need to step the fuck off, lady. And then asking me, why don't like you? I don't like you because you're a jerk to me. Okay? That's why I don't like you. But instead she's like, what?

Oh, this is all crazy. So it's nice to hear her at least be honest when she's like, listen, that's my friend And so I'm like obviously you're seeking out this bitch who hates me. Yeah. Why are you doing that? Are you trying to gang up with this girl? Take me down, which is exactly what you two motherfuckers are trying to do. Okay. Yeah, that's what So um, yeah, so she's basically like what they I think we have a bunch of Muscovon occasions and I fell no on guard towards you, no hostility and I feel nothing but like, oh gosh, she doesn't got Maya.

But you have never allowed me to get you. I'll give you that, I'll give you that and I'll also give you this pick, I'm by, have some big I'm by, you'll love it, try it, try it. You are like cross-rate puzzles. You have drove me crazy at times. Oh, sorry, that was my intention, stupid face, but listen, I'm like a slice of 7-Eleven pizza. I don't mean to make you sick,

but sometimes I do, and I'm way better when you're drunk. So that's it, okay? He doesn't like 7-Eleven pizza, am I right? I haven't been wanting to get to know you, but like a hot dog at a 7-11 rolling around and around and around on those things, I keep fighting myself being bothered by you over and over again and irritated by you. So I'm trying to really dive into what that does mean because that tells me that I want to be your friend. And all of your friends tell me you're amazing and I want to be your friend and all of your friends tell

me you're amazing and I want to get to know the Lisa the Lisa that's like the hot dog on the rollers at 7-11. Oh so where do we go from here because like I'm open to getting to know you better listen I'm a sage like I'm free I'm fun I wanna, like, fully be sad with you! Like, let's go to a race track and drive 45 miles per hour around the loop. Okay, tell me this little, just answer this little quiz question. Wohm, or a chair.

I don't know. Both? Yeah, it's Wohmchair, we can be friends. We're gonna be best friends now, okay? Yeah, cause I am a Libra. Oh, that's wind chair. We can be friends. We're gonna be best friends now, okay? Yeah, cuz I am a Libra That's lame, but you know what? Satges fly so maybe we could fly together Satges and Libras. I'll walk back to coach every once in a while and I'll be like hi

Isn't this fun flying poor Libra? So are you in the middle seat? Bye? And then I'll call people for my private first-class phone It reminds me of that movie was Sandra Bullock where she starts flying with all the Libras. It's called bird box Okay, they fly in a box together. It's so good. So good So we're gonna reset right and she's like I am really helpful that we can't do this You know how rare it is to find husbands that get along? The guy is totally rare. So that's how we leave it.

And then we go to the next week with this crazy voiceover. Who was this? Did they have somebody else do this? Because it sounded like mama else's. It's like next time on the real house, we're a soldier, a soldier. A soldier like Siri. They had to give Walter some work.

I guess it was like who the hell is that? I'm gonna go back in that. That's an episode. Oh God, I love this show. It's so good. It's so good. Super fun episode of nice chill, not insane fighting scenes. Right?

Like when they can do that. All the like the little conversations were really fun. The sex conversation. Oh my God. And Mary. Where does Mary come from? I know. Love her on here.

Thank you so much for listening. If you listen to this in time, just remember we're doing talk. I was going to say talk. Take a seat tonight at 7 o'clock on the west coast 10 o'clock on these coasts just download Spotify Green Room follow Ronnie at Ronnie Caron me at Ben Mandelker and the room will sort of like appear on your feet when we go live so check that out and come join us talk with us we're talking about all this stuff and more So we'll see you there, and until the next time... Bissive! Avoid the peak on pie for a logic talk!

Where is seatbelt? Where is seatbelt? Bye everyone! Miiiight! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Alice and King! Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella!

Itch-o-s! Dana C! Dana-do! Aaron McNickles, she's a Daniella. Itch-oals! Dan-o-C, Dan-o-Doo! Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-os. Hava-Neggila Weber! Jamie, she has no last name-y! Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! Jess saying, okay!

Wee McLeven, Karen McLellen! She's always sublying, it's Kelly Ryan! Kristen the Piston Anderson! Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the burger. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan lettuce. There ain't no problem that Sarah Salvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Betches, Betches. And our super premium sponsors.

Better than tabooly, it's Annie and Julie. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. Always the wiser is Allison Weasler. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She's cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle. Erica, 500 days of summers. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper.

Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. My favorite Merto, Karen McMurdo. No one makes us feel well like Megan Capsiwell. Mina Kuchi Kuchi Kuchi. Give him hell, Ms. Noelle. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. And have a meal without the Emily sides. Shannon, out of account in Anthony.

Let's get Racy with Ms. Daisy. Let's take off with Tamla Plan. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kutar. We love you guys. Miss Daisy. Let's take off with Tamla Plane. and Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.