Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC & RHOA: Going Ham

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

It's another double header for us. First up on Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Jen loses her temper in a spa tub after her husband ices her out. Then on Real Housewives of Atlanta, Porsha reveals that she hates when people steal her ham. Plus, Kandi gives away groceries, and Cynthia faces wedding guest list dilemmas. RHOA begins at 01:04:18Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast that all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker. You can find me also on the Game Brain podcast if you like board games, like I do. And joining me is someone who I once got to play Settlers of Catan with. It's Ronnie

Karam. What's going on, Ronnie? Well, huh, Ben. I'd like to build a road through your sheep factory. Well, that can be a range, but no sheep shall be spared. Okay. She are very precious. I don't know what many people say about sheep and cattan. How are you doing, Ronnie? Happy Monday. Well, thank you. I just love a Monday. Yeah. So, so, so, so does the world. People famously love Mondays. Yeah, I actually don't mind Monday. It's just that first getting out of bed moment that I really mind. But otherwise, you know, what?

You're great. It's a day of promise. First, okay? That's that's a great way to put it. This is the first of something special, which is that the building next door to mine is getting demolished. So if you hear any bangs and hammers and things like that, there's literally nothing I can do because it might just be noisy for a while.

I will try my best to make the sound experience on my end as optimal as possible and it's pretty quiet right now. But I'm just giving a heads up to listeners, I'm sorry for any construction noises you may hear for the next I don't know 18 months Yeah, we're gonna see we're gonna see um, but more importantly you guys this week on Thursday are the crappy is we are running out of time The crappies are happening Thursday night. We have a huge roster of guests. It's gonna be amazing. I think we mentioned several of them the other day, but in case you didn't hear some of the people who are confirmed and

we'll be participating. We got Ira Madison from Keep It. We got Ryan Bailey from So Bad It's Good, Laura Shanehals from Sexy Unique Podcast. We got Sasha from the Bravo breakdown. And Sasha's also gonna be on Watcher Happens Live this week. So that's very cool. Kate Casey, we got the two Judgy girls. Jackie Shimmels doing a little something. We got Reisani, Danny Pelagrino. We got the reality gaze formerly known as 90 day gaze, Matt and Jake.

And just like actually that's only part, that's only part of the roster. There's actually many more. It's going to be a great, great night. We're going to have a lot of fun. So go get your tickets at watchacrapins.com. You'll also find a ballot there where you can vote. It's going to be at 9 p.m. Eastern 6 p.m. Pacific and what's really cool is that when you during this thing you'll be able to

like chat, you know, that's like a cyber chat. What am I talking like an old person all of a sudden? You can message, you can message, we'll try to like answer things on the air, but you can message with other people that are there who are logged in. It's gonna be a really, really fun time. So I hope you all can join us this Thursday. Do it. And now is the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, followed by the Real Housewives of Atlanta. Yes. So yeah, a big double header episode for us today. And the episode opens up with Meredith in bed. Just lying there in bed and joining her morning. And guess who walks in the most romantic man in all of Utah. So, I found your so romantic, so I have good morning. He's like, I got you flowers. First

thing in the morning, which is kind of weird. A flower. I got flowers. Just to let you know that we fully blossomed. Make kiss. Is this guy's face scabby or every day? There are something's going on drugwise with that guy. He's he's he looks he looks like a cold sore. His face looks like one big cold sore. You know, it's funny because as a scene later on, I thought, are they are these too high right now? Yeah, I think they're just fucked up a lot. Which, you know, I know sounds judgy and I guess it is judgy. I just old fashioned, like I like getting fucked up, but you hide it and then you feel ashamed

of it until you're high again, then you don't feel ashamed. It's that's the circle people, okay? You don't just break it. You don't just like start getting high and coming on TV all the time with your scabby face and pretending that it's a romantic scene, okay? Live in the shame! Yeah, well he basically is like, so I wanted to give you a rose to remind you of me to show that we fully blossomed and of course, as you look at that rose over the next few days, you'll see it slowly wither and die and then you'll figure out one to yourself who's gonna clean this up. And few days, you'll see it slowly wither and die and then you'll figure out one

year to yourself who's going to clean this up. And that's when you'll say it's going to be me because I'll be somewhere else. Love you. And then there will be a rumor that she's, you know, she's taken a flower from somebody else because there are other flower withered. So they kiss grossly. I don't need to see you to a love. I like to better separate it. Yeah.

Come see that. Especially because he's a dick. Let's not forget that part. Yeah, they never get to that conversation because this whole episode they're like, yeah, we'll need to sign in and we're gonna like, got things, twitch, twamps, we're gonna get things back. See, out there, we're just gonna work in it. Okay, so you're moving to Ohio because that's kind of what you need to work this out. Either you move to Ohio or he moves here, okay? Otherwise, you're just kicking that can down the road. Vote for me, Ronald, for me.

I think that she just has a fetish for Ellen Aldevois, you know? I think that's what draws her back to him. So then we go over to Lisa's house. I love that. I love houses. I love houses. And they're staging and she's like, after that we can't I hide.

Oh, you know what? You have to not only search the house, you have to search me. No, no around me. Henry, you're burning me out. Henry's like burning your bed. That's the best thing. And finally, I've been given a sign that I'm allowed to let my mother on fire.

Then we go over to Beauty Lab, which is being remodeled by a hot guy named Nick. And Heather's just that lady who's like, yeah, he is, but Heather seems like she's always flirting with everybody all the time. I think just because she's like, oh my god, look at me. I'm single. I'm not married. I'm ostracized. Nick. Like lady, this is one of your friend's sons. Back away from Nick, please. Heather is so the woman who brings balloons to high school.

Like, there's like a big sale and you're like, shit, I forgot the balloons and then Heather shows up. Don't worry, I got the balloons, guys. I got the balloons. Here you go. Okay, I'll buy a brownie too. Okay, you have a great big sale. Here, come on, God.

You know it's Jennifer's birthday. Oh, I've got candles on my purse, guys. She's just always prepared to please. She like, it's not like an a desperate thing. It's just like, I feel like in high school, there were certain moms that like everyone knew because they just always seem to be there to provide a useful resource. Well, I think that there's a little desperation. I mean, it's how they're for Christ sake, you know, and she's really cute and stuff, but she does have that

edge of desperation. She's got that like Brittany Murphy and Clueless vibe A little bit. Yeah a little bit. That's a good. That's a good and sort of sad Comparison. Yeah, so then we go over to Jen Sally and You know, she's she's going through the same problem that I think this is the most relatable thing that Jenna's ever gone through actually on the show Trying to find a fucking plug behind the dresser. I mean really We've all been there. I've been there recently. Not easy. No, it's not and she has to do it alone Which is what's more devastating? So she says I am hurting. I busted my ass to pull off the surprise part of the year to show Shreef just how much I love him and connect with him

and then all went out the fucking window. I'm like, well, because you also lost your damn mind over some stupid ass shit. But that's good. Yeah, it's kind of like watching a murder show on ID channel, which I love to do. And it's always like someone else's fault that you murdered them, you know?

Like always, like, well I had to kill it, you know? She had my crakeys, like, well, but you still are the murderer. So she tells us, and this is like a huge monologue for Jen. She's like, you know, the party was ruined when Whitney brings up some bullshit, and I get pissed, and then the whole thing goes to shit. I'm embarrassed, I'm sad, I'm disappointed in myself

cause I lost control but it's because that party top golf just meant so much to me. And now I'm more lonely depressed because Shereef isn't talking to me. Top golf isn't taking my calls. What is this world that I live in right now? What is this world? Yeah, yeah. So apparently Sharif is giving her the silent treatment, which is like really not cool. And she's saying that like, I can deal with whatever, I can deal with whatever, which is a lie, but I need

Sharif back me up. And now that my rock isn't here, I don't know what to do with myself. So she's like, you know, Shereef stepping away for a few days is actually exactly what Jen probably loved because it gives her the license to tell everyone, like Starbucks, post office. Do you understand? My husband has been speaking to me right now. Do you understand?

Yeah, Jen, I just wrote down down she's never gonna truly apologize. That's my that's my first impression of this She did say I'm embarrassed. I'm sad. I've disappointed in myself because I lost control But I'll bet you she's never gonna apologize properly. Yeah, so then we go to Whitney, who's at Piedenaba, and they start talking about the party that Whitney kind of blew up. And she's like, I have such mixed emotions about the whole night, like so many different, like I'm mortified, but then like I change, and then I'm pissed off, and then I'm like, what?

Which I think is just such a Whitney sense. Yeah, yeah, really, it really captures the scope of her emotional experience on a day to day basis. I'm like, what? I'm like, what? So Heather's like, you did nothing wrong, you did nothing wrong, and to prove it, I'm gonna hold your hand over several red hats

and little gummy bears and pastel candies. Okay, you did nothing wrong. Do you need birthday candles? Because I've got some of my purse. And Whitney tells us that Sharif's party was a disaster, but she was just coming from a place of love, guys. Okay, she just wanted to be a good friend to Jen by getting her to fight with everybody else at the party. So she just wanted her to know people are talking behind her back, you know, but before she could get her point across, the other women jumped in and then it was an epic failure. Lady, you took 10 minutes and did the same lines literally like three times. Okay. You practice more, but her s more.

Okay, it's not everybody's fault that you messed up the tap solo. It was an epic failure. The moment you opened your mouth, there was no reason why this should have been brought up at the party. I mean, I appreciate that you did because, you know, made for good TV, but there was no reason that I need to be brought up at the party. It was only going to be a disaster. And yeah, it was going to be an epic failure regardless of who stepped in.

Jen, you know that I am a teller truth. Wait, hold on. Can we start again? Jen, you know that I am a teller truth. Wait, hold on. Can we start again? Jen, you know that I'm truth tell, uh, can we start again? Jen, you know that I love pen and teller. Wait, no, what's it gonna say again? So Whitney's like, yeah, when you came in Heather, then everybody starts screaming, you know, all I was trying to do was pull her aside, okay? And Heather's like, um, oh, I just, I never came at Jen.

I was just third of back you up. Yeah. Um, I didn't understand what Whitney was getting at. Heather did not accelerate a situation. Oh, she did. I mean, basically, I mean, like, well, I mean, Whitney was like not using her words and Heather's like, the other girls are scared of you. Just said it. And that's not why it went crazy. Heather was just like, I am making it. If anything

was Whitney, Whitney took so long to get it out that it gave Lisa and Meredith time to notice what was going on and come outside. Yeah, well, that's true too. Um, and Heather's like, well tell me what you wanted me to do. She goes, but I wanted to apply blow up. Can I do that again? No, there's no avoiding a blow up. You know, I didn't want her to blow up at you, but I wanted her, you know, I wanted her to know that her friends are saying they're scared because they're lying to my face. They're lying to your face. And they get away with it. These lying ladies. So Heather wants Jen

mad at the other ladies because Heather is mad at the other ladies. Yeah, I mean, basically kind of on her side. Heather is basically mad at Lisa. I don't know if she has an ax to grind with Meredith, but since Meredith and Lisa are kind of like a package deal She's like whatever I'm mad at both of them. The one who sells the Kila and the one who's effortlessly elegant. I'm mad at both of them. The one who sells tequila and the one who's effortlessly elegant. Yeah, and she admits she's basically gel because she says that Jen just wants to be associated with them because she considers them like the upper echelon in Utah. So it makes her look better. And she's like, well, she's betting on the wrong hand. And I'm like, why bet on that love? We're true friends. I mean, they're just saying things she wants to hear. And you know what? We took a huge risk with her

and we get annihilated and I'm over it. So now that we're doing like a really good thing by coming to Jen. Oh, I love housewives. Yeah, exactly. And there's like, that's why I want to say, girl, why are you so thirsty for their love when they have zero investment in who you are your life, you know?

so Also, I have candles in my in my back Yeah, she's like twisting a balloon into into the shape of a horse Girl the other girls are scared of you also do you like this balloon dog? Those are scared of you also. Do you like this balloon dog? That's what you do. So then we go back to the most romantic couple in town, Seth and Meredith.

And he's like, Seth, none of the ski goggles. I think you look real hot and I'm saying, and guys, ski goggles, Seth. She clearly doesn't, is not impressed with the ski gargle deal that he got because she just started yammering, clearly just trying to sort out her feelings like on the inside while she talks bullshit on the outside. She's like, wow, that's great just a ham because they can get lost, they can get scratched,

things happen all the time. I mean, you know, you never know what you're going to get with ski goggles. Ski goggles, you know, they could want, you know, they know, they could come alive someday and kill us all, to be honest, so, you know, it's really good. All right, are we moving on yet? Can I stop talking about ski goggles? Yeah, one thing women love, when men buy them something to enjoy the man's hobby with,

you know, like my dad bought my mom a bowling ball for Christmas once, and she almost hit him in the head with it. Like, what the fuck are you buying me a bowling ball for? They put in love bowling. And this is like a discount gift. He's like, I got a great deal on ski goggles. As if that's like a revolutionary concept in Utah.

Like, wow, there's a deal on ski goggles in Utah. So, and so she's like, oh, wow, this is wonderful. And she's like, put them on. That'll be my Valentine's gift. Oh. And she's like, put him on. She's like, that'll be my Valentine's gift. Ugh. Ugh. And he's not even mic'd up. So we have to like, not only do we have to like,

hear him be discussing my ski goggles, but we have to hear him with bad audio. I know, it's like you can hear a new scab breaking out on this forehead. You know, and he's like, hey, you know what's on my bucket of this honey, sex and ski goggles. She goes, oh yeah, how about ski goggles and heels, Sam? How about a tragic accident on the snow, okay?

This is too much. So yeah, Meredith is like, you know, I'm starting to realize how much I love Seth and need him because without him, I wouldn't have these cheap ski glasses made by Dito. Does this say Dito or just say speedo, Dito? So this is just not even a real speedo ski glass. Okay. You know, we're just going to work through the noise and make sure we're on the same journey.

And this time I'm not getting bugs in my ice ski goggles. By the way, I should mention I of course don't want anything tragic happening to Seth and Meredith. Just the conversation. I just want the words that are coming out of their mouth to go skiing and those words to die on the slope, but they can stay alive in their room. Oh, that's so my spin. So then we go to a classic housewives trope everybody talking about the party in their own house. So we cut to Lisa and she's like, well's so nice, Ben. So then we go to a classic housewives trope, everybody talking about the party in their own house. So we cut to Lisa, and she's like,

well, you know, when Gendos is a party, it's all about Gyan. Well, this is all about Gyan and her husband. So it was like different. So it was like hip-hop and golf. So some people like hip-hop, some people like golf. So everyone's dancing. Like Whitney's a good dancer, but you know, like in Utah, girls in Utah are good at two things.

Dancing and getting married really young. And breeding, which is three things. But you know what, sometimes you do that while you get married, sometimes you do it while you're golfing, sometimes you do it while you do it. So I'm just combining them all. Says she's twirking and her legs were overhead, which is so inappropriate.

Twirking for someone else's husband. I mean, I mean, I mean, I was having the best time until Whitney upset Jen. I didn't love that. I didn't love that. So now we go over to Jen talking to her assistant, Crystal, who's the only, you know, Crystal is the person who's like, she needs to walk faster because she's clearly always the last person to leave the house when the shots go on to parts, so she's the one to get stuck

talking to Jen and the FOIA about stupid shit, you know? So Jen is like, so Whitney was trying to like, try to come at me or whatever, and she's like, why are you doing that? My husband's birthday party, and then it switches over to Meredith's house, and she's like, why are you doing that at my my husband's birthday party? And then it switches over to Meredith's house and Meredith is like, well, it starts with Whitney and she says to Jen, the marriage holder and at least an eye are both afraid of Jen and you know what? Somebody is lying and I'm gonna put some ski goggles on all of

them and I'll see who the real liar is depending on who fogs up their ski goggles first. And back to Lisa. I mean I never said that really calm I like it was so bizarre. She picture used to birthday to throw me under the bath. I married her under the bath. I married under the bath. Maybe she should park more on her dance moves. And more on being a doll because Utah girls are known for one thing being excellent dancers.

Oh, breathing while they're twerking. And as we all know, dancing leads to breeding and breeding leads to marriage. So I guess Utah girls are really known for one thing. Dance, dance sex marriage. So then back to Jen, she's like, this has started problems in my marriage because that's your refund, even take my calls. Like he's embarrassed, I'm embarrassed.

Sounds like a free-fissue. Like if Shereef is not talking to you for four days because of this incident, it's not that when you cause an issue. It's that you guys have some very, very, very deep issues already. Yeah, I mean, she invited all of his friends and family that he hadn't seen in years according to her.

And then that's, that's how it ends. I mean, I'd be pretty pissed too. And I don't know how much of this not talking to her is because he's off doing his work where he's gone anyway, you know, like is, is, is he pulled a routh where he's just like in Tampa or is he just like on a regular work thing and not returning her calls? I don't really know, but I'd be pissed, yeah. I don't know. I mean, I think though, like, I think he can be pissed. I just think that you should know answer his wife's calls. Here comes one right now. Celebrity Beef, you never know if you're just going to end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view, from the build-up, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. So Meredith is like,

let me go back to Meredith and she's like, if anything, Wendy could have asked me about it, but quite frankly, it's none of Whitney's business to begin with. And that's why I wanna be around Whitney. The last thing I need is someone running around spreading false rumors about my marriage. And she's also mad because Jen is supposedly talking about her marriage, you know, and so then Meredith is like,

you know, these women is just exhausting and it's draining south. He's like, want to fuck with whiskey goggles and heels on I can't damn south cheese your goggles and heels on do it now Got a two-foot-one deal on these goggles So so now we have now we go over to Mary her obligatory scene because I don't know what's going on Mary that we we only get like one scene with her crazy ass and that's like highway robbery for us. Like it's being stolen away from us. So Mary is in her hoarder's closet with with Charlotte and she found she's just find some random ass belt and puts it on and breaks the zipper and she just gets stuck in it and Charlotte and just trying to help her out of it but I think it's going to be there for life.

Yeah, poor Charlotte Linda and her gloves. She's always got a wear rubber gloves everywhere. And Mary's like, you know, I love fashion, it's like an escape. And you know, like I have closet, it's like a revolving like door, like a department store. And so she talks about all the room that she has for her clothes basically. And then Whitney comes over and Mary's like,

oh my God, I'm having a malfunction with my belt, and I'm claustrophobic, I'm claustrophobic. She's got a lot, you've got a lot of issues. Yeah, exactly. So when she's actually FaceTiming and she's telling Mary about the party, et cetera, and how she talked to Jen and all this stuff, and even Mary is like, I mean, that's Jen's husband's birthday party.

You don't do that. Okay, you don't do that. Even with someone who smells like hospital, you just don't do that. Oh, no. And she's like, Yeah, but I thought she would respect that I was coming to her.

So I just wanna make sure I understood you clearly. Could you do it five times? It takes me a long time to memorize things. Okay. And Mary is like, well, the girls really did say that Could you do it five times? It takes me a long time to memorize things. Emarie is like, well, the girls really did say that. And I don't say anything that isn't true. Like the time I was in the hospital for a month, getting my odor glands removed. I say nothing that is untrue. So Whitney's like, what do I do now?

You know, I don't know what to do now. So you're coming to marry for advice, marry who Jen hates. How do I make things better with Jen? You know the lady who refuses to speak to you and is icing you out. I'm married is like, well, I would, you know, call Jen and tell her how you feel. I'm praying for you.

I'm praying for you. Praying, praying for you. That'll cost you half of your mortgage, by the way. Yeah, exactly. So Noah Heather is at New Beauty Lab, the construction site and she's with her, like her partner or whatever, and they're walking through and they love the ceiling

and there's tiles that cost $35 a tile, and they made like a mosaic in the floor of the bathroom. I think it said, did it say, live love lab or live laugh lab or live love lab So yeah, and I had theirs luck. I love that this is this is such an Instagram moment. I'm like The floor of your bathroom that messes up the live laugh love Thing that no one already everyone's already over live laugh love Yeah, it's kind of all you took out the laugh you moved the love up and then you added lab

You took out the laugh you moved the love up and then you added lab Your Instagram moment is on the floor. I mean, I guess you know sir customer Is there all taking like space selfies, you know? It should be like aimed towards the toilet to by the way So when you're sitting on the toilet, you can be like oh cool I'll take a picture of that and no one has to know I'm sitting on the toilet not like aimed towards the door It's like when you have to go to the bathroom You are running to that toilet. You're not opening the Door. It's like, when you have to go to the bathroom, you are running to that toilet, you're not opening the door,

stopping at the threshold and saying, oh, look at that memeable mosaic on the floor that I have to put on Instagram. You're going to the toilet. Is she like, right at your feet? Yeah, I feel like you don't want your Instagram moment right in front of a shitter. I mean, in general.

So she tells us, you know, it was so different when she was married because she could never have a business. I mean, in general. So, she tells us, you know, it was so different when she was married because she could never have a business. I mean, her job was to support Billy. And ironically, if he hadn't left, I wouldn't be able to open or make it successful. Yeah. This is, yeah. So.

Guys, Heather's divorced. It's really hard. I was like, I don't know what else to say. Like, she's been ostracized, guys. I don't know if you've heard, but it's like she is ostracized from sassata. She learned business. She has birthday candles in her bag

and she knows business. So they're basically gonna go on salary and Heather's gonna stop taking Alimony, which is great. And you know, beauty lab on the up and up, beauty lab is equal. You can't wait to see what Nick does with it. When he starts working there.

So Seth and Meredith go on a double date with John and Lisa and Seth's like, can't only sit in a gluten-free section. Oh, they can pull it. Yeah, and he opens the door from Meredith and he goes, for the lady. I'm like, oh, like, why are you ruining everything? Why, you're ruining doors.

You're ruining doors. Their relationship must have been really fucking terrible because they are acting ridiculous, you know? Yeah, I don't believe this for one second. They sit down and, you know, they're wondering if they're, if Lisa and John are gonna be on time. And Meredith's like, well, Lisa is not on time ever. And so Seth goes, well, in the meantime, let's get swast.

And they have this sloppy kiss where they go into kiss and Meredith's upper lip just slides right on up to his nostrils. And I'm like, this is just, I know, we all know what that is. That's saliva above the lip for him. And bristles under the lip for her. And we just know it's just, no. So guess who's here? Guess who's not there? Guess who loves that. Me, Lisa. Oh my gosh. Look at us. We are totally dressed the same. I'm totally not surprised. We are basically wearing the same outfit, class no's class. Yeah.

So the guys came and installed a new security system today. So if we get into the argument, we can roll footage and see who can touch what. Can I touch that? Can I touch that? Roll the footage. I don't know if that's such a good idea. Okay, look, I guess something to tell you.

Go, oh my God, are you procknot? And then the waitress comes by, by the way, to tell everyone that she recommends the brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Rato? I was like, I was very impressed with her. She was there for one second, but she really made an impression. She's like, I'm gonna be on camera. Max, three seconds. I am gonna fit as many rolling hours as I can. I don't think you know, we'll take that. You know, why?

Because we're starting a new beginning. Oh, I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. Is that like when you go to your security camera and say, roll that from the beginning? Is that what that's like?

We're happy in like 90% of the time. So we're gonna figure it out. It's when we're living in the same home in Ohio, Utah. All right, well, we gotta work that one out, still I guess. And then as evidence of Lisa being a supportive friend, we have this weird like flashback, like where the, like a true flashback where the footage actually rewinds,

much like that security footage. It rewinds of them walking out of the restaurant and then it's like a month earlier and it's just Lisa and Meredith soaking their feet at some spa and talking about like, what's gonna happen? Can I touch your heart? Can I touch that?

I'm so sad I love that. I love that. I'm so sad I love that. So cut back and Lisa's like, best ever. I love this. You know what? Just, just you know, there's no sad with that mad at and vice-fasat. No one wants to hear that.

Like you're nothing without your husband, especially someone who's like considering being separated or was considering being separated two seconds ago. You're nothing without your husband. Okay, go back to your husband. I know, because by the way, there's a very good shot that this can still fall apart. So now Meredith is gonna be thinking thinking that I'm nothing without Seth. I'm just a one for one ski goggle deal. Yeah, as I can

I can say as a long time waiter, you know, at a judge of restaurant character. The people, the couples who come into the restaurant and have to like kiss it like make, and I'm not showing show any pda, but the ones who are like, like those ones never stay together. Those couples always fucking get to forest, okay? And that's a little waiter knowledge for you guys. So I don't love in you couple. I don't want to take this. I don't want to take anything away from you, Ronnie. I actually want to say that that's, it goes beyond waiter knowledge. That's human knowledge. That's that's anyone who's been in in a restaurant seeing those people because they are so deeply insecure about their relationship and things are so rocky

that they are doing this big show to prove to everyone else that everything is great and also to prove to themselves. Kai, so there, it's true, it's figured it out. Yeah, solved. So then we turn to the Jen's party talk. Meredith, well, first Lisa's like, well, you know, I'm so glad to hear they're back together because it's a shock,

right? Because if that could happen to them, that could happen to me. So I sat for relief for them. And for me, because that probably means my husband's not leaving me either. I'm so glad. That could happen to them. That could happen. Okay. That could happen to them.

That could happen to them. That could happen to me. And that would be devastating because then I'd have to hire someone else for the company. And I don't want to do that. Who's going to take care of salty boughs? Who's going to take care of hybrid stools? So they start talking about James Party and Meredith is like, well, that was another drama filled childhood.

You work on the housewives, so it's like going to work at the factory and complaining that you have to screw milk caps on. You know what I mean? It's your job at the milk factory. Wow, very specific factory right there. I thought you were gonna say like it's like going to the factory and complaining that the robot arm like yanked off your leg. But thought you were gonna say like, it's like going to the factory and complaining that the robo arm like yanked off your leg,

but yours is pretty docile, like, do you have to put the milk caps on? Just say. I was scatting my brain for factory references and that's all I could come up with. That's okay, I like a milk factory. I mean, someone's gotta put the tops on the milk. I mean, I always thought it was a robot

But you know, maybe it's a maybe it's a human. Yeah, it's a human putting you know, yeah where I grew up there used to be a place called Marcus Daly at dairy and you get Marcus milk and I think of that only because I think it's funny to have up like a like a pint of milk named Marcus Yeah, you didn't ever want like that to have a human name, you know? Yeah. Like, nobody wants to drink Marcus' milk. It's creepy, okay?

Yeah, I think I'd kind of block out most milk brands if I really think about it. What if there's like Alta Dina or something like that? There's like, you know, I don't know. I think it's okay. I mean, I just think that's an okay quality to have. And I don't think you need to remember anything. It's okay. I just think that's an okay quality to have. And I don't think you need to remember anything. It's okay. I just feel like maybe there should probably be like a better

milk brand out there that we all know that milk, right? But generally speaking, when it comes to milk brands, I don't think there's any really strong national milk brand where it's like, there's no like tropical of milk, right? Black Ted. That's true. There is lact. Below is a black taed. We'll always have lact. Oh, yeah, it's self.

Laughed out. So Lisa's like, well, you know what, Whitney is completely self-aware. I mean, what a twerker. You know, it's she's either twerking or breeding. Am I right? And where it is like, well, I'm not afraid of Jan, you know, she's either twerking or breeding him, I'm right. And Meredith is like, well, I'm not afraid of Jen, you know, but then I hear the Janissing bad things about me. I mean, God, who was that?

I have the kind of woman to leave the house with a ski goggles. What kind of thing is that? The thing is someone. And then Lisa, I love Lisa's twist on this. She goes, I don't believe Whitney, but if it's true, that's awful. Because if Jen really did say something to her in confidence, why are you repeating it? You're really a shitty person if you did that. So Lisa would think it's more awful that Whitney betrayed what Jen said in confidence on front of her camera,

as opposed to, that's awful that Meredith might be quasi cheating on Seth. Even though by the way, I would totally support Meredith, sleeping with another dude instead of Seth. Yeah, and Seth is like, oh my God, the toxicity at this table. Come on, guys. Shut up, Seth.

Okay. This is called paying your rent, sir. Exactly, yeah, because earlier he goes Have some compassion for the immature He's really we you know one thing we are very lucky about is that we missed an episode over the break Where he was growing up with the guys and he was just being so awful. He's like so What's it like being a Muslim, huh? Seth, please.

Are you allowed to drink that? And your Muslims are allowed to drink? And he's like, are Mormons allowed to drink? Nah, nah, no Mormons can't do shit. All right, what chewing gum on the sidewalk? Do you guys believe in this one? Step on a crack, you break your mother's back. Muslim or no, go.

Oh, women, am I right? Like what? So they all have that where they're like, you break your mother's back. Mousel them right now, go. Women, am I right? So they all had that where they're like, women, am I right? And so it's like, yeah, it's like, mine doesn't even want to live in Ohio. What a loser. And then sure if it's like, yeah, and mine is always complaining that I'm always gone.

But then when I'm here, then she's always gone. So why don't I get to complain that she's always gone? I mean, the tall one is just like, do you guys have to wake up in the morning and stuff envelopes for your wife? What what what do you have to be to your wife pay you? So um, he says, he says like, I really struggle, I really struggle to connect to connect with the rest of the group because they're just not honest. And you you know what you know how you only have so much water in your well look at what my brothers dry I got a dry well. I'm dry. I'm posh dry. Well, I'm gonna have a dry well. Can I touch that can I touch your water bucket?

I'm dry. Ma'am, this is a housewives show the last thing you're supposed to say is I'm dry. Okay, you're supposed to convince everybody that Your vagina still working. It's like a housewives thing. So do what Seth and Meredith are doing, that. Glock, we can still bang, yeah, we do it all the time. Yeah, just find some random object around the house and build a gross sex scene out of it.

Be like, hey, hey, John, you know what I found? A USB connector, two-feet one deal. What do you think about that? You know my stream would be to have sex with you. While we plug this in and charge something, right, John? I'm just glad you're talking to me, honey. So then we get my favorite song. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

It's like the angel vocal warm-ups. Angel. None of the angels, Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho All having highlight maneuvers being done to them like every you know what angels and in Utah good for breeding They're all like in angel Lamas classes But I was sad cuz you're right it did sort of go down and it really did not compare to last week which had the famous Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho of instrumental transitional music and it's like nowhere to be found. Like give me some yaya yaya yaya yaya yaya. It'll be back, but don't you worry. So Whitney and Heather are driving together and Heather is excited and scared. A scared and excited, but excited.

Mostly scared, but what do people are mean to me? And Whitney's like, Well, I don't expect anything from Jen. She might come in blazing and she might be calm. Who knows what I will say to her is, Jen, you know that I'm a shoot straight. Oh! Who knows.

I think that maybe Whitney's problem is that she's trying to talk to the beat of that interstitial music. I am a straight shooter. There's an invite to a spa that Whitney is extended. She wants to give Jensen peace because she seems kind of angry. They're going to go to the spa where they can find some zen and have a conversation. And it doesn't hurt that it is in the middle of nowhere. So she can't get up and leave.

Oh, she can get up and leave. Don't you worry about that. So they are, they're basically in what I imagine is Utah's equivalent of Joshua Tree National Park, because they pull up to this. What it looks like, it was, it's probably some sort of commune. Maybe this is where, maybe this is where

Wild Wild Country originally was filmed, took place, maybe this is where their commune was in Utah. Oh no, wait, was that organ? It was organ. Yeah, it wasn't Utah. I remember because I looked that shit up, the second that documentary was over because I was like, property has to be cheap there.

It had big Utah energy though, you know? So either way, this is like the lapidated shack and they go in and there's like, sort of like a hippie-ish kind of woman behind, behind the desk and she has a little chihuahua named Pennypants in her shirt. And like, there are all the chachkis around there. Like crystals and like wooden spoons. And. And like, they're all the Chachkis around there. Like crystals and like the wooden spoons.

And I was like, Ronnie probably loves this. No, not really. I've thought it was like a really, really dirty gift shop. It was like, okay, I get it. But you have a Chihuahua in your boot pocket who's wearing a quilted outfit, like I can't with you. I didn't like it. I was very offended by the place.

I was like, I thought you were gonna see crystals and like the wooden things and be like, like this is where I'd go with my mom to find stuff. Well, I do go to those places and I do get crystals, but I like crystals in my house. I don't necessarily like them in the crystal store. In the actual crystal store, you're like, did we lock the doors in the car?

Because I feel like it's always like methods in there. Yeah. But this one was okay. The sitey seemed fine. But she also seemed kind of judgey. Like, oh, look at these rich ladies coming up to my, my little peaceful, it's like shut up lady. You know, someone's got to pay for those dog quilt outfits.

Well, so then Jen shows up and well, she's driving on the way and she's like, I don't know where we are, but I would never want to live out here. And she's basically the mindset that Whitney Calder and was like, like, listen, I want to take you for a spa day and I want to apologize. And Jen is like, okay, well, if we're going to do a spa day, it better be a nice ass spa with a 24 caracled mask, which is funny because it's not like she would get the, she doesn't get to keep the mask if that were to be. But I actually believe it or not, I actually understood where she was coming from

because I feel like this is not an apology spa. I feel like this is a fun adventure spot, but I think if you're trying to apologize to someone, you bring them to someplace where they really feel pampered and not like driving hours away. Well, this is real housewives of Salt Lake City. No one is letting them shoot in Utah. I mean, where have we seen them shoot?

We saw them shoot like in the Dave and Busters and some like fake, you know, prohibition bar in the back of a man's shop or something. You have to have a new filter over there. That's true. I doubt any of the spots would let them shoot. They are stuck out in the desert. But Jen, of course, is kind of rude,

but I still think she's at least funny. She's like, this looks like the movie set of saw, okay? So she goes into the shop and she goes, I wasn't sure where I was coming. I mean, are my friends coming because I kind of feel like you guys are gonna kill me in this cabin. And the sales lady just looks at her like,

see, Ronnie? That's why I'm judging these bitches. Also, it's worth pointing out that when Jen got out of her car, she had, she had, she had brought a fly swatter with her. Which I thought was funny. She like, she's like, I know I'm gonna need this. I know I'm gonna need this fly swatter. Thank God I always carry a fly swatter

with me everywhere I drive. Actually, my mom did that, but it was just to hit us while we were in the back seat. She always had a fly swatter with me everywhere I drive. Actually, my mom did that, but it was just to hit us while we were in the back seat. She always had a fly swatter in a wooden span. So Whitney's like, well, I had my doubts, but she shut up in a good mood. So maybe this place really does have mystical powers. And then in classic Heather fashion, she somehow manages to get tangled up with a tumbleweed. They're walking to these tubs and she's like, is that a literal tumbleweed?

Like tumbleweeds gravitate towards Heather. I think that's great. So they have to walk up this long hill to get to these little bath tubs where hot springs run into you. And James is so pissed. She's like, um, don't love this. What is this shit?

She's also wearing a boa over her robe. They change into rob rope and she's like, I'm still gonna wear the boa. She's wearing a boa and a fur coat like a fur best thing. Yeah, so they get to these tubs and it's basically that there's like a natural hot spring and there are these tubs and the hot spring runs into the tubs and then it goes through the tubs and then the tubs are kind of cool. They're kind of like crystallized over. And these tubs, Rami, are exactly the kind of tubs. And the Seattleist commercialist talking about on the Southern charm recap.

This is what the Seattleist commercial looked like. People in tubs in nature holding hands. So Whitney's like, well, listen, I feel bad about the party. You know, I'm a straight shooter, right? She's like oh god, and there's like let's just get to it. It was my fault, okay? So no Whitney brought up the topic Heather so it's not your fault And what I told you is like I'm trying to be present in my marriage And I haven't put together a party for 25 years so it hurt and I'm trying and it backfired And I haven't talked to Sharice since 25 years, so it hurt. And I'm trying and it backfired

and I haven't talked to Sheree since the day of the party because he is pissed. Yeah. And so then Heather, Heather keeps trying to really take accountability for this because that's her thing. And she's like, no, well, it's all of our faults. All of our faults.

I mean, mainly my fault, just how it was my fault that, um, you know, a volcano went off in the Southeast Asia. Like I could have emailed someone ahead of time. I should have known it was going to happen. It's my fault. This is what I have to say. It's my fault. You know what? When it's my fault, I say it. For example, we were going to have this selfie moment in the new beauty lab that said love laugh, LaBia. And you know what? I just spelled it wrong. And now it just says, live love lab. I mean, you know what?

Guess she's faulted is mine. I take the slime. So then, so, but Jen is definitely not taking any fault in this. And she's like, none of this is my fault basically. And Whitney is like, well, I didn't throw the glass though. Jen, and then you guys push me to throw a glass. Okay. So don't do that with me.

Don't do it when you push me. You did this at my husband's birthday party. And when he's like, I didn't blow up. I was trying to remember my line. Remember when I said I am a teller truth. So hard. You know how much that they meant to me with me. I'm crying now when he's like, yeah, but that is why I was trying to out. She's just losing her mind in a

bathtub. It's so funny. And they have her put her for like on a little tumbleweed thing next to her. And she's just so pissed now. And she's also wearing her shoes in the bathtub. She's like, I'm gonna wear my shoes because it's dirty in there. I'm like, okay, so the bottom of your feet are gonna be protected from whatever dirt. And then me and one of the rest of your bodies in there. So, okay, enjoy rooting your shoes.

So then, Jen's like, she's like, you had to do it there. You decided to bring it to me. You take responsibility. And Heather's like, you had a party and you smashed the glass. You did what you did. Also, I have birthday candles here if we want to do a redo. My marriage is fucked up and Sharif hasn't been home since Saturday. And I fucked it up. Take responsibility for fucking it up, Jen. She says, oh, he's so embarrassed. And she trusted Whitney.

And Whitney, if you roll your eyes at me one more time, I'm gonna come over there and drown you bitch. Yeah, I wouldn't be like, I'm not rolling my eyes, Jen, and then Jen just splashes the water off camera. And then we just, your producer say, why did you splash the camera? And she goes, that's what happens when you fill me in a bathtub.

I was like, okay, so is there fault that you splash them? Fuck yeah, Jen. So she gets out and she storms off and then Heather's basically like, Whitney, you have to have empathy, okay? Like she's going through something, you need to show up as a friend right now. And then I do like a close up of the MGTob, like,

oh, the town that Jen used to be in. Don't know the cross on this one. And Jen's like, this is real life for me. Okay, and the only reason I'm still here is for my relationship with Heather, but Whitney, and she like, you know, but gives her hand to the camera. And Whitney's like, um, Jen, come back. Jen, you know, I'm a shoot straight.

Damn it. I was trying to provide a little metronome for. Okay. Jen, the last thing I want to do is to hurt you. I know more than having ever that was the wrong place and the wrong time. And then Jen starts doing this bullshit. She goes, you know, you guys can bring anything to me. You can't bring anything to me.

And when he's like, I tried. But then Heather came in. There actually as a Heather came in, brandishing machetes and like with firecrackers on her head. Like the biggest distraction and disruptor. And so then of course Heather's like, you know what, it was poorly timed on my part. I fucked up, you know, because I came in like girlfriend. These girls be talking about you. And I shouldn't have been like that. I should have been like,

girlfriend, this party be awesome. You know what? I'm just gonna live in my truth from now on. I'm divorced fucking deal with it. Live Laugh Labia, okay? That's it. Now, you know what Lisa's done to me, Jen? You know what she has done to me. And I had to think about it. And I guess she's talking about Lisa's saying, oh yeah, I heard you were a good time girl.

Ooh, and lift up her shirt. That's not really saying hi to her at the party in the first episode. Y'all remember. You know what she's done to me, and I feel like you want to be Lisa and Meredith's friend? More than my friend, I do, and I'm totally terrified about it. And John goes, about what? Yeah, and basically Heather's like, you know, when I'm not the go-along get-along girl,

which is funny because now we've had Heather described as the good time girl. And then what was it last week she was something, another type of girl? She's always some sort of something girl. But she's like, when I'm not the go-along get-along girl, when I draw a line in the sand, people leave me like with Billy the first time I did it, when I drew that line in that sand and said, you know what, that glory hole was kind of funny. He loved me. She's like, you know what? And then like, I'm terrified of losing our friendship because like, you being like, girl, you're done. I'm like, with Meredith and Lisa now. And like,

I've just been swallowing that because it's more important to be your friend. Like, I have PTSD from my marriage, okay? I'm the put up shut up girl, they get along go along girl, the good time Sally, come on! And when I say what I really think, I mean I'm the Billy left the girl girl, you know what I mean? I'm the one plus one equals two of my calculator girl, I'm the puts things up with Scotch tape and a little loop behind the paper girl, I'm the put things up with Scotch tape and a little loop behind the paper girl. I'm the one to sniffly, sniffly, stuffy nose so you can rest at night medicine girl. You know what I mean? I'm the, it's not delivery is the genre girl.

I'm the got milk girl, you know. So you know, just thinking that you could leave me, you know, Billy left me, and, you know, if Jen leaves me too, I can't take it. And Jen's like, oh my, Jen's totally weirded out because this has turned into an apology to Jen, to Jen having to like deal with this insecure mess sitting in front of her now, right?

So she's like, well, I mean, you can talk to me. So if you feel like this, you can talk to me. So if you feel like this, you can tell me. But she doesn't say I want to be for, I don't want to be friends with those girls more than you. She just avoids the whole thing. Yeah. She just says she can talk to her. And so the one is like, I want to jump tubs right now. Okay. Because I want, I want you to know that I was coming you like a girlfriend, so I'm gonna jump tubs.

Because I'm a really good dancer. I don't know if you know this. Look, I'm in Heather's tub. And now I'm in your tub. Because I'm a tub teller. No, I'm a truth tub. No. Okay, go back to the first tub.

What are you gonna do with the tub? Will you forgive me, Jen? And Jen's like, yes. And she tells us, I'm accepting it, but I'm not completely over it because my marriage isn't over it. And would you mess with me and you mess with my family? That is the worst thing you can do. So now we go over to Blue Sky Yurt for a very random scene. I thought I was like it was funny because after the hot tub thing was done with the bathtub thing I was like well that was a good episode.

Oh there's 20 minutes left. Wait what's going on? So we got even recapping it it feels over. Alright it's 51 minutes. Let's get out of here. Bye everybody. They go to a Yurt. Blue Sky Yurt. I'm so excited. Oh I'm at out of your okay. So, oh, this can be a three-course dinner. Hey chef I'm really excited to see what you choose to pair with Vita de Kira It's all a dinner to see what you compare with Vita de Kira It's a blogger dinner. Okay. This is what it is. It's a blogger dinner She's like I've set up a very intimate dinner with some very special VIP list people. Like, for instance, there's Angie, who has a blog called

Utah Hub Caps, the best in hubcaps in all of Utah. And there's Maria, she has a store called Glitzenglamer. It closed five years ago, but she's helping for a relaunch. Everyone, welcome to the lot of the year. Welcome. This is Felicia, she's helping for a relaunch. Everyone, welcome to the lot of the year. Welcome. This is Felicia. She's done a really good job as a single mother, making money, reselling things off Alibaba,

and putting her own name on the back. Congratulations, Felicia. This is Mary Ann. She actually wrote the Wikipedia entry on Celeste Pizza. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So she's like, you know what? I'm really excited to have people on the

Vibless that will appreciate the experience. And said come to Vita to key the launch, love, green of sun dots. So oh my god, you know what Felicia? Listen, Ali Baba, can you get fur like this? No, you can. But Meredith Marks can, because this is fur by Meredith Marks. We actually shaved it off with her back and dyed it purple. How do you think it feels? Angie Harrington, you're a fashion blogger. What do you hear about these new chief of one-skine ass deals? Y'all.

Every single woman here has a powerhouse and they're also quite building up other women. Plus they don't throw glasses or punches or twerk. Some of them breed but that was mostly in the past so I'm letting it go. Yeah, this is a really elegant and sophisticated setting on like tap down. So, this is more my vibe. Okay, this isn't some Valter's bullshit or tap shit. This is, this is your, this is, this is Meredith Marx, okay? And I need more events like this in my life. This is what I need to begin a tent on a mountain

with bloggers. I got, hi, I'm Felicia Marx, the Ali Baba lady. I just wanted to ask you Meredith, how did you get into the jewelry business? Meredith is like, well 15 years ago, I was standing on a highway in heels and skiing goggles And I was in real estate and I just wanted to change so you know, I started slowly That's that that is my answer. What does that mean? Hi, this is Vanessa Fischetti. I'm famous for putting humorous ads in the penny saver. Question, was it hard to build a client base? Well, what you do is you sell to one

person and then two people come in the store and it goes from there. Next question please. You know, I gotta tell you, it's incredible being, you know, with a sophisticated event when ladies who want to build each other up. Oh, my God, Charlie. Avocado, Caesar salad, the acidity, and the, uh, Caesar goes really well with the saltiness in the tequila. Love that.

I love that. Oh, my God. Love that. I love that. I love the tequila. I love the tequila love that I love that oh my god love that I love that I love the tequila I love the tequila I try out yeah why don't you try swimming tequila that would be so much better for them mm-hmm we should all give a toast and by toast I mean this toast to came with the Caesar is amazing with Vida we're all amazing moms and amazing business women and amazing friends cheers it's like nice try on a recast but So, I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man.

I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I'm not going to be a real man. I, nobody wants to see this. I think that, yeah, I didn't really understand this scene.

I was like, is this supposed to be trying to position them as these two like elitist snobs that just are like, you know, trying to pretend like they're above it? But it didn't really quite do that to me. It was just like something happening out of your, and I was like waiting for a scandal or like married a show up or something,

but it was just eating trout in a year. Yeah, this was like a typical scene that they do on the show. They do that on the show with the cast mixed in with all the ladies and then they have firework in front of the cast with these two. We're like, no, you know, but if they're going to act classes like that, we're going to show them how to have a housewives show that's classy with women who support each other. Which, you know what, I'm not watching that show, sorry. I walked right into our executive producer's office and I said, if we don't do a scene in a classy year,

I'm done, I'm done. So guess what, we got a scene in a classy year. Thank you. Mm-hmm. I think it was just weird because it was positioned so late in the episode. what? We got it seen in a classy yurt. Thank you. I think it was just weird because it was positioned so late in the episode, right? Like it felt like it was, it was going to be teeing up for something. I thought like it's, it felt like a very much like a something you might see in the first 15 minutes. But I was like, ooh, some rumor is about to be

announced to this table of women. And it's going to come back to haunt everything, right? But it was literally just like eating trout in a yurt. Yeah, it was a very Vita commercial scene. So then Jen is at home and she refinery comes home and he's very coach about it. He's like, hello, baby. So what don't we sit out here so we can visit for a bit? Come into my office, the living room. Thank you. I brought a playbook for this discussion we're about to have. The circles are you and I am the X's. And you just send your circles to that way and my X's will go this way and sort of do some zone defense on you and in the end, working on a hug.

Okay, great. So she's scared, you know, she's like, oh my God, is he gonna divorce me basically like if I finally pushes man too far So she starts with I don't understand why we haven't talked for four days and he's like well There's lots of reasons, you know, I was really upset and so it's probably best for me to just walk away when I'm that pissed off I don't want to talk when I'm that mad And the party was great, but then you start drinking and you can't control your emotions. And I don't even know what that fight was about. But I know that alcohol doesn't help you. So I started to get mad at him at this point, just at only at this point. I started to get mad

because I don't love that answer of I was really angry and I didn't want to talk when I was angry. So therefore I ghosted you for four days. I get like, I need to cool down, I get that. I don't really approve of the ghosting for four days. I don't think that's cool for anyone to really do. So I was like, no, no, no, in my mind, I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Shreef has been like all like, Brooks Marx about it on the inside, like, no.

But, he kind of at least said, listen, I'm really pissed off right now, I need some time to cool down. He knows, so, you know, he could have at least said, listen, I'm really pissed off right now. I need some time to cool down. He knows. He knows he could have at least done that. He's not going to disappear. Give me some space. I want a process.

You know? So then, but then I actually was very pleasantly surprised for both of them the way the scene went because she's basically is like crying and I actually felt like this was a very honest Gen-Shaw scene. It didn't feel to me as performative as her other things like splash and water in the bathtub. So she basically says like she drinks to numb herself because he's not there and she's like I'm numbing the the pain because I'm depressed. I'm sad. I'm still fucking sad because my dad passed away. I'm still fucking dealing with that, but I'm supposed to suck it up and be okay, and I'm not strong enough, Shreef, to keep doing this.

Which I feel like is a very, like, very honest and real thing, and I was like, all of a sudden, very invested. You know, I have to disagree, and I know that this is probably gonna rub people the wrong way, but I'm sorry. You just acted like a total asshole and embarrassed to him in front of everybody he knows.

This is not your time to get him about everything that he's done wrong. You know what I mean? Cause like he's pissed. So instead of saying, I'm sorry for what I did, it's my dad died and you're never home and so I'm depressed. Okay, but that's like a different conversation. You know, like you don't get to play those cards

when you just fucked up that majorly. But it does and it leads to it. I mean, I actually, you don't get to play those cards when you just fucked up that majorly. But it does, and it leads to it. I mean, I actually, I don't know. So I politely disagree. No, because I think that actually it sort of is the same conversation, because she did fuck up, and she's sort of saying why she's been fuck up. Because she's basically like, you an alcohol,

you an alcohol, and she's like, well, don't you see? I'm like, it's not just like an alcohol, you an alcohol and she's like, well don't you see, I'm like, like it's not just like, oh me an alcohol, it's like me an alcohol trying to basically cover up this like huge amount of rage I have and sadness that really hasn't been resolved. You know, so I felt like that was, I felt like that was actually, like that worked for me.

I don't know if it's up for me to have it to work for, but like, Well, I started softening a little on this part because then she started saying, you know, you're never here. And when my dad passed away, like, I needed you. You know, that whole week, I'm in the hospital. I had to make all the decisions. I even had to make the decision to take him off machines, you know, and I have to be pretended I'm being strong, but I wasn't strong. You know, I need to help. And so I've been angry with you. Like, you couldn't even go to my dad's funeral.

And so, you know, I'm with her on that part. Yeah, I think that's really hard for someone to take on. And I was actually really glad to see them communicating about this. I didn't even realize I was invested in them like this, but because I'm imagining on his end, he was like, well, I thought you had it all. I didn't think that you needed that because you seemed like you had it together,

but she was clearly just pretending. So I can really imagine how something like that could be kind of traumatic and you can carry a lot of stuff from that. And so then he's looking all-pained and he's like, I didn't understand, because you hadn't opened up like this, but we can get better from here and he's like,

I get it. And then he says this thing, which I thought was, I thought this was like lovely. He's like, you know what, when I lost football because of my neck injury, I went to a really dark place and it was really bad and I, you know, and I was using, part of that was because of alcohol. And hey, by me telling you that,

are you ashamed of me? And she's like, of course you aren't. And like, it's just how I would never be ashamed of you. And I was like, oh, I was like, I forgive you, Sherry. So she's basically, you know, she feels guilty that she hurt him. And it's the first time they've talked about all this. And she's like, you know, I don't want to get upset and angry anymore. I want to do what I'm supposed to be doing, but you know what? It's hard for me. And yeah, I get that, but like, you're losing your shit. Like, to the point where you're throwing shit.

And I mean, she's still like, be able to like, control herself. I mean, look, it's like, this is like what it was I'm Vanderpump rules last year, right, with Lala. And you know, Ariana was, remember Ariana was like, yeah, I mean, it's terrible what you went through. It doesn't give you an excuse to be an asshole, you know? Yes, and I agreed with that too. So I think I come from a harsher place when it comes to stuff like that, because like, you know, I get that pain, but that's not, and that's not an excuse for everything all the time, you know.

And sometimes people get that way where it's like, oh my God, you rear-ended somebody? My dad died. Well, you know, I mean, that's probably worse because rear-ending somebody is an accident, but you know what I mean? No, I mean, I agree. I don't think that, you know,

people have to still ultimately be accountable for their actions. But I guess in my mind, my emotional context of coming into the scene was less like, oh, she has to apologize for what she did. It was more like, oh, he's been ghosting her for four days. They need to sort this shit out. So I was like, I guess in my mind, the accountability for how she acted at the party was like less important to me. Well, that's good because she didn't take any. That worked out pretty well, though. Because my last note is she never apologizes.

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, my final note, I knew it. But that brings us to the end of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. You wanna check in with Atlanta? Let's do it. Okay. So I'm just running down the time codes that we people can find it easily. So Atlanta, um, so Atlanta, you know, real house was a bit

Atlanta new episode last night. So it opens up with, um, shots of things going on around the city. We are at, we see Kenya at a place called Hookline and Schuner, which was, I don't know why I wrote that down. It's like, look at that restaurant. Nice time I go to Atlanta, I want to go to hookline and Schuner. Schuner, is it Schuner? I think it's Schuner. I think it is Schuner, yeah.

Schuner, you know what I'm saying Schuner? Because I watched that Fran Leibowitz show. Did you see that? Pretend it's a shitty. It's basically Fran Leibowitz just bitching about every single thing under the sun, which is basically what we do. And well, you know what, if they sold the show like that, I would have watched it.

But they're like the iconic, friendly poets discusses the history of New York City or something like that. And I was like, no, I don't need that. No, no, I don't like that. But if it was like friendly poets bitches about everything, I would have watched it five times by now. It's literally like a, like,

it's like a non-stop flow of her bitching about things because I didn't even know it was even like this. That she twunked like this. She's like, oh, I'm friendly. She spends the entire time talking like this. Okay? You know what? Public transit.

I take the bus. I like the bus. I don't know why people are on the bus. Okay, I take the bus, everyone I go. People talk to me. I'm like why people are in the bus Okay, I take the bus everywhere I go people talk to me I'm like why people talking to me. I don't need people to talk to me and then Martin's crusade you just sit there next Let me tell you something. Okay people in New York City. They don't see anything But they just stop and I say how about this? Perchandence is a city pretend this is a city for one I walk do I walk do I do I stop? No do I stop do I have a phone? I don't have a phone. This is by the way, I've never done a family voice impersonation.

I'm really feeling it. I'm really feeling it. Anyway, that's literally just her bitching, and it's like simultaneously, it can be like very, very funny. And then at the same time, you think, gosh, this lady is a lot. Am I like this? Because she bitches about things the way I'm like, am I like this? Cause she bitches about things the way I feel like

I bitch about things. So I'm like re-examining how annoying I am to people. But it's my new year's resolution was to stop complaining and being negative and I lasted I think six minutes and I kept catching myself, you know, and I'd be like, oh, I'm not supposed to be doing that. I don't want to be that person. And then at one point I was like, you're 46. I mean, this is it. Okay, oh, I'm not supposed to be doing that. I don't want to be that person and then at one point

I was like you're 46. I mean this is it. Okay. Just cover it with as much flower language as you can because you ain't change a bitch. Okay? Yeah, I think you like to back to lose 20 pounds because that would be easier So then we go to Kenya who is Or were you with Kenya? We're with Kenya. I's the lady named Germain. And they're having a meeting about Kenya's signature line is to regrow your natural hair. Less, it's more. I want things everywhere. If Cynthia doesn't cry when she sees my nude line, you're going to get get me a refund. And then we go over to Drew and Ralph making their big return to the show after last week's

absence and they're teaching McHye their son how to bike. So that's happening. And then we see Cynthia and Mike and Cynthia is like looking at her laptop, I guess with the wedding invitations and stuff. And she's like, jail. You know, we thought because of COVID and because of Atlanta being a hotspot and because of sending the invites out a month

before the wedding that we don't only have about 100 people, you know, 50 each. And Mike's like, when did we think that? Like, said, they do hear the words coming out of your mouth because of COVID and Atlanta being a hotspot. Why? Why are you having a sister? She's stubborn. She's not she's so stubborn that she's gonna do it. She wants to anyway She's like we had no idea that inviting 250 people that

250 people would come. Yeah Why are you inviting so many people in the middle of a pandemic? And she literally articulates that it's a hot spot. Although now it's L.A. Of course, L.A. We're number one. We're number one. Um, yeah. And so they're talking about how she wants to invite her father, even though her mom will be really pissed because her mom doing Kenya's domestic violence PSA left here cause a huge rift and she's still mad about that and then you know bringing the dad she's gonna be extra pissed and then we see a clip of that PSA where the mom was saying talking about how the dad got so angry that once he grabbed a knife and threatened

to kill her and you know like don't fucking invite your dad. It's crazy. Like I like Cynthia Jenner, I mean, I think she's boring itself, but generally I like her. I think she's a nice person, but she's pretty shitty and selfish this whole year, you know? She's shitty to even bring that up. Like I get that you have a dad,

but you don't even talk to your dad and your dad beat the shit out of your mother. What the fuck are you talking about right now? Yeah, I agree. So speaking of PSA is we go over to Ralph. Oh, no, I'm so sorry. I have two things to say. One, Mike Chill has a huge tattoo of a microphone on his mind. I noticed that. I was like, I mentioned it. Which is an old time in microphone as if he's a badger. You do op on it. Which is an old time in microphone as if he's about to do a duop on it. Yeah. Uh, uh, Mr. Sandman. It's like that kind of microphone. And uh, then is the music

choice for this whole episode. I don't know who decided they were going to get some scrawny little, you know, methed out white guy from Seattle to do emo for the entire episode. But did you notice it? It's like, oh, take me home, take me home. Who's doing the music for this episode? There's fake Tiesto that's playing. I don't know. Atlanta seems like it's basically made with like popsicle sticks and tape these days. I don't know what is happening with this show. So then we go over to Drew and Ralph and they're packing

because they're moving. Ralph of course is mansplaining how to pack glasses and he's like wrapping them up with paper. And he's like, this is how you pack up a glass. You take some paper and you stuff it on the inside and you wrap it up on the outside. It's like, wow, Ralph, thanks for like blowing my mind on simple concepts. That was amazing. Who would have thought that the way you wrap up a glass

is wrapping it in paper like that? Yeah, and now there are arguments between paper versus bubble wrap. And they have two scenes either. They want us to see that they're fighting all the time and that they're the bigger sense or how much they just love each other. It's like one of those. And today is the we're bigger sense, but we're also super wacky and love each other. Watch us fight over wrapping glasses and paper.

Oh god, I love you, honey. I know. And I guess the thing that he does is that he wraps them in paper, but then in bubble wrap also. And then like that, you know, Drew's mom, who just despises him, is just watching. And just so angry. And Drew's like, what do you think, mom? And she's like, well, I've always used just paper.

I mean, you're gonna run a bubble wrap doing that. And Ralph goes, it's the way everyone does it. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry, Ralph. I wasn't up on the trends in bubble wrap magazine. Sorry. Sorry. Yeah. So they're talking about how his dad passed away and Drew has bought balloons for them

to let go into the sky, which I know is just probably pissed everybody off because you're not allowed to do that anymore, okay? Guys, in the modern world, that's very bad. So they go outside and they're like, I love you, love your dad. We're gonna work on this. I'm gonna be the man you want me to be, but I'm still gonna be me so you better accept me

So I got to love you and I'm gonna let all my anger with you go Let's set these balloons go and they do and they're like thanks pop up hit man And then like 10 birds fall dead from the sky I was also like is the season finale next week. Oh, we're just wrapping up this arc right now like what's going on I was like we're still like in the middle of the season usually these things? Are we just wrapping up this arc right now? Like what's going on? I was like, we're still in the middle of the season. Usually these things don't get wrapped up until later, unless there's gonna be a relapse,

which there probably will be. So then we go over to Candy who's doing makeup for her YouTube channel. And we learned that her charity Candy Care is gonna be doing this big grocery giveaway for families and stuff. And she's gonna be like bringing all the girls together to help out. And she's also dealing with trying to get like, you know,

owed back, back money from her ex. What's his name again? I want to say Bolt, but it's not. Block. Block. Yeah, block. Bolt or block, things like get in the way of doors. So, she's actually speaking with Michael Sterling as we all remember of Michael and Eva.

Yeah, you know, et cetera, about getting this money, et cetera. Yeah, and so she's talking about setting up a trist for Riley with this money. She's never getting this money. We all know this, right? But she's talking about setting up a trist, trust for Riley with this money. She's never getting this money. We all know this, right? But she's gonna try anyway. And then her makeup lady's like, that judge is gonna be like, you're denied. You have enough.

And she's like, well, it's for Riley. And she says, girl, you're not supposed to be getting support now. I mean, you're gonna wait till she's 18 and then be like, where's my money? I was like, oh my God. You're fired. Hi. I'm being fired during times of COVID.

Get out. I know, candy givers such a look. It was, this woman must have, must be real close because she had no problem just going in on candy and candy was like, ah, candy giver looking. And then she was like laughing, but you know that candy was annoying. That, that makeup lady's gonna get a stern talking

to you, John Wond later. Yes. That lady is gonna have like Don Wond's heel print on her forehead later. That was shitty and stop taking the fucking man side. What the hell? But she's not necessarily wrong, by the way. When she's like, yeah, that judge is gonna be like,

denied. There's, you know, there's a lot of injustice spread. Well, yeah, that judge is gonna be like denied. There's, you know, there's a lot of interest. That's fucked up. Oh, yeah, that's fucked up. I think she's basically speaking to the fact that, you know, the system doesn't always work out. Speaking of systems, there's no transition. I just said that, there's no transition.

Quality to this. We now go over to another restaurant where Portia and Cynthia are gathering to have dinner. And they're just sitting there at a table and they're making a small talk about bringing PJ to a daycare center and everything. And Porsche is telling Cynthia just how excited she is for the upcoming wedding and all that good stuff. Yeah.

And Porsche is saying that she's talking about a relationship and she's saying that now she's just mad at him all the time and she's so mad she doesn't even recognize herself. And she's like, and then I didn't understand this, maybe he can help me. She says, I'm fussing about him back flapping, she's talking about gaining weight. And she goes, I just want to tell him when he tells her to come to the house, bring me some ham, meaning the girl that he was cheating with, I think. Like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what was happening? Because I was so confused. Listen to what I have. And you can explain it.

Tell her to come to the house, bring me some ham. And then someone starts to take my ham from the house and I get snippy and I ask for a bottle. Okay, so then we go into the next part. What was she talking about with him? Okay. Well, first of all, let's also, by the way, give a shout out to this waitress who was really doing God's work of trying to snoop in on this conversation because every time they started to talk about something juicy, the waitress would show up.

Even Cynthia was like, every time we're about to say, could you just go over there for 10 minutes, I need to get some information. But no, Portia is saying that she's like, you know, she's, she is getting more cranky. She's gained weight and she said, I tell my sister when she comes to the house, bring me some ham. But then if someone takes the ham, then if someone takes my ham, like, I get really mad if someone takes my ham from the house, which is funny because isn't she vegan right now? So why is she getting so, why is she making all these handmaquests? Okay. That's when she was like, I'm vegan, I'm vegan.

I'm like, you know that ham isn't vegan. Not vegan. It's not kosher, it's not halal. It's like basically like... Really? It's like the medius to meet you could meet. It's like the it's like the band of rules of foods just kind of like a lot of people are like we're not sure about that anymore.

Yeah, I did not get that story and I knew you would be able to explain it to me. So thank you. So she says that she just flies off the handle all the time and then the other day he was over and she said, could you go downstairs and get me a bottle? And he said, okay. And then he stayed downstairs for 20 minutes. She's like, and then he came upstairs and I went off. The man was gone.

It's like, well, okay, I get that you don't want to be that angry, but that also is frustrating that a guy leaves for 20 minutes to get a fucking bottle when you're the one putting the baby down and getting the baby fat. What the fuck is he doing downstairs for 20 minutes? get a fucking bottle when you're the one putting the baby down and getting the baby fat. What the fuck is he doing downstairs for 20 minutes? I am totally on Porosha's side. I don't think that she has to feel like a crazy person. Like, he, this has always been my issue with Dennis. It's that he is this sort of person

where you say, hey, can you get me something like for our baby downstairs? And it goes down there for 20 minutes and gets lost. Like, that, to me, like, this is classic Dennis and I totally think that Porosha should not feel like she's a crazy person. But also, Porosha, I just don't think, listen, I'm not married and I get that, but I just don't think she understands marriage because she says this. She goes, you know what?

It's like once I started punishing him, I couldn't get out of the habit of punishing him. It's called marriage. What else are you supposed to do? Well, you know what? She's, she's just struggling with the idea of ham and veganism. So let's just like do. Okay, we're gonna work our way up to marriage. But first we got to sort out veganism.

Yeah. So basically this transitions into Cynthia saying, well, you know, Mike wants to bring hot dog king to the wedding. He wants to invite him. And if you don't want him to come, I'll take it back to him and let him know. And Porsche is like, yeah, no, no.

She goes, I don't want him to come. So I need you to use your Gucci credit, okay? She's like, you know, put your shoulder down. Look sexy, because you gotta work this out for me now. Think by the way, the guys on this show are such pieces of shit. Sometimes like, well, how many times does this have to happen? Isn't this like a third time we've encountered a story in line where like Todd wants to invite like a pilot or something or so.

Like there's an ex. These guys just don't care. Or maybe it was Peter. They wanted to invite Peter to An event or whatever it's like Mike Dennis may be your boy, but he's ultimately Porsha's ex and Porsha is more important right now, okay? Like I think he just wanted free hot dogs at the party Okay, I think that's what he wanted a hot dog king buffet

So then we go to you like Bailey and Cynthia's on the phone with Noel, who's just like all in that mode where she's always gorgeous and always staring at herself even while she's talking to you on FaceTime. She's just looking at herself, talk to you. And it, yeah, what I say, you go on. You go on, I've been saving my comment for after whatever you're gonna say.

Oh, she's got her own apartment in L.A. now and she's an influencer and I'm really trying not to hate on Noelle, but that's where I stand. And here comes my comment. You're an influencer in L.A. Shut up, Noelle. Here's Noelle's arc. May possibly be actually one of the most depressing arcs

we've seen on Real Housewives, which is Bright, lovely young lady, still is a bright, lovely young lady. Bright, lovely young lady who just wanted to go to school and become a dentist. And now she's an influencer in LA. I mean, this world, this world takes so much from us. Yeah, well, I know a lot. I just feel like that never ends well, but you know what? I guess we'll see. We're talking to a whole generation

of influencers. Okay. So who knows? So Cynthia wants her in town to help her with the dress and just experience all of the wedding stuff with her. And Noel's basically like, I have promotional stuff now, mom. Like, I have contracts, so I have to be home.

I have to be home to put on this face cream for YouTube. So, figure it out. Yeah, because she was making and getting ready with me video or something. I don't know if that's like her brand of video or if that's a genre, sort of like a Let's Play video. But she's like, yeah, I got a lot of product to promote. So this time, I can only stay for two weeks.

I love that. I love that. I love that she can only stay for two weeks. And I'm like, yeah. As if like, you know, I was thinking that she was gonna say, I can only stay for 48 hours, because I'm so busy, it's in and out. It's like I can only carve out two weeks of time

from my busy schedule to go to Atlanta. So then we go to Candy Care's and it's like a giant poster of Candy's face. It's like Candy's face. Candy Care's look at the very bottom. So they're feeding 549 families which is crazy and all the girls start coming to help and Tanya's just running around going, what's the free milk? I've got free milk right here! This is wonderful candy! Yeah just bring your boobs in Portia's face.

Oh, time to time. So Portia tells them that PJ is sick. So here we are. COVID is overtaking the city and everyone's freaking out. And Portia's like, all right, let me hug everybody. Portia's sick. She came home from daycare sick. Like, hello. And then Kenya sees Portia.

Cause Portia's on time. And so Kenya shows up. And she's like, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, Portia, because Portia is on time. And so Kenya shows up, which is like, ha ha ha ha, oh, I'll Portia, I see you came early for candy. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, and then Keny tells us, so Portia is on time for a photo op. Wonderful.

Now, I know we different certain things, and one thing that we different is that I love Kenya's presence as an asshole, as someone who is never afraid to stir up shit to at least keep things interesting. But that being said, Kenya, you're going after the wrong person this season, I'm sorry. You just can't- For the wrong things.

I mean, just going after her for such a vile thing I'm gonna I'm gonna play mark on this one. I feel like mark sort of like messed up Kenya's calibration Kenya should be going after You know someone like she maybe she maybe she should be fighting with Cynthia or like she or she should be trying to fight more with Drew She's sort of trying to she keeps calling Drew a stray Or she should be trying to fight more with Drew. She's sort of trying to, she keeps calling Drew a stray. But going after Portia, who is like really beloved right now, I mean, maybe that's her whole thing,

but like, yeah, like going after the BLM stuff, I'm like, yeah, this is not, you're not really excelling at what you're usually great at. I don't blame Mark. She's with Mark, because she's the fucking horrible person to you. I just wanted to come up with Another reason to hate on Mark. Sorry Well, she's at least trying to do something but yeah, what she's going after Porsche for is it's cringe

So they're all filling the filling the bags with different stuff and Tony is or Tania's like this is such fresh produce! I know she's like holding up a pepper. Have you ever seen a pepper like this before? It's so fresh! And Candie's like thank you! Like she made the bell pepper. So Marlowe met her earlier at the farmer's market and did all the early morning shopping and then Kenya bumps in and she's like, um, can we just have one person on blueberries and then one person on the tomatoes because we're each going towards the same bag. We need this organized And Porsche says, yeah, I think we all know that she just wants an opportunity to pass us around. Go ahead. Go on then.

And then we go over to Mike andia. They just got their marriage license and Cynthia's like, well, I'm like last time. I'm not letting this license out of my hands Which means we get to cue the footage once again of her mom looking all shifty where they're like where their marriage License go, which I still believe that entire thing was fake. I still of course. It was so stupid Like they can't get married without that piece of paper We're gonna have to tell the dinosaur museum we have to cancel. So yeah, I just don't think that Barbara and Mal would do that. I just Mal would just be like, oh, like, she said that scene.

I was like, should we tell her? And the mom's like, hmm, let's think about it. So, Porsche, been then back to them and Porsche was like, hmm, let's think about it. So, Porsche then back to them and Porsche was like, well, I didn't tell you, Mike said that he's gonna invite Dennis, whether I want him to or not. And Keny is like, can we talk and work, people? Yeah. And Kenyia starts coming for Porsche being like,

oh, this is because like she's basically saying, uh, Kenya's basically saying, um, your issue is that you're just afraid that you're going to be vulnerable to wedding and drinking hannesseen, you're going to go back to him and like, like, you know, you can't tell Cynthia to have self-control, but then you don't have self-control, and Portia's like, no, I'm just not in a good place. And like, like, basically like, I'm on the Osset Dennis. And like Dennis is not central to this wedding or this group. So we shouldn't be there.

And can you actually have the nerve to go? Yeah, but you and Dennis go back and forth so much. It's really hard to take you seriously. Excuse you. Look who's fucking talking, maybe. Oh my god. So the family's arrived and they start packing all the cars and stuff and then Todd and Ace come Ace the hero of

this show at the moment. He's like what he's like what do I need to do if he like literally has like a bucket and like Windaxx and he's like the entire place is just so clean and sparkling. And they put him in charge of the bread is if I didn't love that kid enough. So then Marlow comes and they all go take a little lunch break at a picnic table. And Candy's like, it's not vegan friendly, I'm sorry.

And Porsche's like, what, not even ham? And then Marlow gives like a check or whatever and Candy says something about, you know, like how she's not gonna put anyone on blast about their giving, but some people aren't as giving as I thought they'd be. Although I don't know who she was referring to, was she referring to Marlow or is she referring to? I don't think so because Marlow gave her five grand and she's like, yeah, yeah, you better count it because I don't want to hear later that I gave 50 cents or something. because I don't want to hear later that I gave 50 cents or something. So then Drew facetimes in, which is like the first time Drew has interacted with the rest of the cast in literally four weeks. And she's in quarantine, I guess, because they just got back

from her father-in-law's funeral. And she tells everyone that she's packing. And again, Kenya's like, oh Cynthia, oh it's fine, see you straight. Ah! And then there's like this, there's like this hilariously, like lengthy discussion of where they should do their cast vacation, which is funny to me

because this was actually the most realistic version of this we've ever seen on Bravo, because normally it's always like, well well I was taking a bath the other day and I noticed my towel was too far away for me and I thought my towel is far and you know what else is far? Guatemala we're going to Guatemala! And this time it was like so I was thinking we go to the mountains I love the mountains what about Tennessee? I like a lake like can we go to a lake? Can there be a story there like we just watch for five minutes as they like brainstormed Places for their vacation and then it turns into Charleston somehow because they have a beach

Yeah They could have also gone to Tampa. Tampa has a beach we heard Yeah, if you're bringing your husbands that's definitely the place to go could be the field trip, trying to figure out where Ralph is going in Tampa. So then we go to Cynthia Noel driving. She's picked up from the airport or they're driving to her mom's house, I think. And they're driving and Noel just sit there and take selfies of herself, literally the whole time giving sexy face in the camera. I would pull over that car and say,

get the fuck out, okay, get out. You're up to say good at dentistry school. Be like, we are resuming this process. And it was just my good friend, Dr. Heavenly, have fun, you're stashing for her. And then Noel is like, the lighting in here is so good. Hey, let's take a picture together, look, and it's like, I'm driving.

And they're literally on a highway, going 60 miles per hour hour and Noel wants to have Cynthia take a selfie with her. And I'm also surprised Cynthia didn't do it because I feel like Cynthia would be the type to do that. Yeah. So Cynthia has to talk to her mom about inviting the dad and Noel knows that she's only using Noel. She's like, waiting to have Noel in the room so that she would have a buffer between her and her mom and Cynthia's like, yeah, basically.

So they get to the mom's house and the door, they get to the front door, the mom opens the door and the dog gets out and they're like, Bailey, Bailey, and I'm like, wait a second. Do they name their dog Bailey? Now, I'm sure the mom does not take the last name, Bailey. Maybe she does, but if she does, is that mean the dog name is Bailey? Is it Bailey, Bailey? Bailey, Bailey. That's like, I feel like that's like me naming a dog Mandelker. Well, you're so trickier.

Madelker, Madelker. Well, yours could be Madelker, Madelker, Madelker. Madelker. Oh, both pronunciations. Yeah, I got it both in there. So they go in and she go sent you a walk straight to the kitchen and she goes, um, are these the only pork chops you made, mom? And because there's like half a pork chop in the pan. And the mom's like, well, now came first, what, I just had one in a half. I mean, I had one and a half.

Poor, I'm sorry, but I was here early. I needed one and a half. And since he goes, well, at least they're sweet, but now what did you eat the sweet potato? Malapen is a monster for sweet potatoes and pork. So this is a big episode for for pork and ham. I mean, this is, it's like, where is the ham? Where is the pork? But yeah, by the way, it's also dressed like an injure today, which is hilarious.

Yeah, because the other ladies have those, like, clear face shield things to check cashing shields, and Mal has like the mask. So you can tell, and you know that she's like sitting there laughing behind the whole thing, gives you like, what I'm sorry that I had to come early, I was hungry. Well, you know the reason why Malay that pork chop is Mal is probably thinking to herself,

I know I'm probably the only one that's actually wearing a face covering, a proper face covering and not engaging her mother. So goddamn it, I'm having that pork chop. Oh yeah, at least I'm not gonna kill Mom. So they do a family prayer, which of course, Noel is taking a selfie during I mean and then they talk about Inviting the dad and the mom's like well if you will see if you can get a marriage license I already got it mom

Well, I hope you can find it. I have it mom damn My trip She's just gonna make passive aggressive pork chops for Mal. Oh, you wanted one too, Cynthia? Sorry. So they start talking about the PSA thing and she's like, you know, Mom, we know that your feelings are hurt. She says, well, actually, it's that you posted that picture on Instagram, you know, and you said, thank you for bringing me into this world.

And Mal goes, well, he did play a part in it. She is um, I had you hushed Mallory and Thanks for the fun time growing up and so he goes. I said thanks for the memories mom She's like what memories? What are you two talking about? How about your memories of my pork chops and sweet potatoes because that's all you'll ever have going forward? Yeah So then she's like yeah, well, I didn't really see my dad, you know, after they divorced, I saw him sometimes in the summer. And Mal says, well, I have a relationship with him.

It's not the same as I have with you, but he's still my dad. Yeah. She's like, I don't hate him. I'm sorry, I don't hate him. And Barbara's like, okay, pork chop trader, even though I give you that pork chop, you can say that fine. Just listen, I never said I hated him. I just didn't like the way he treated me when I was younger,

you know, and trying to get the child support and all this or whatever. And basically, now Barbra's saying that she didn't realize what that whole scene was. When she filmed a PSA, she didn't understand the contact of what was going on. We're sort of feels like a backpedal because apparently her friends and family

have been were coming down hard on her, saying like, why'd you lie about Mr. Bailey? And like, why? He goes to church. So she's been getting a lot of grief. So now she's saying, oh, I didn't know. I didn't know. And Cynthia's like, yeah, but I didn't know

that when you agreed to go over to do Kenya's PSA on domestic violence, that you didn't know what a PSA was and you didn't see the cameras and you didn't know it was going to be on TV. I'm sorry, Mom. That's pretty bad, man. You do a PSA about your husband beating the shit out of you and almost killing you and everyone chooses the man side and says, how could you do that to the man? That's such a bullshit.

I agree. I agree. And it's wrong that this woman feels that now man? That's such a bullshit. I agree. I agree. And it's wrong that this woman feels that now she, like, is in such a place where she has to sort of like, be like, I didn't know, I didn't know. Like, it is really, it's sad. It's sad. It's sad that I felt that.

So then Cynthia's, Cynthia tells us that she's always felt guilty because her mom is so beautiful and she could have done anything. She could have been a model, but she got pregnant and so she had to stay with Cynthia and she always feels like she's responsible for that and so she never... I mean, it was really sad. And then Noelle's like, basically Noelle jumps in and she's like, uh, well, grandma never asked anything from us and I can tell she agrees with me because she hasn't said anything And I think it's clear what needs to happen. You shouldn't invite him and Cynthia's like Okay, well, that's not why I brought you Mal

Glad you chose this time to not look in your phone. Thanks. Yeah, thanks for the support Yeah, thank you so much. Well, I think I have everything I need Yeah, thank you so much. Well, I think I have everything I need. I now realize that my mom has given me so much my father hasn't and she always puts me in front of her own emotions. And even though she says that she'd be okay, she'll just look the other way if my dad comes,

she ultimately would be very upset. So I guess the decisions made for me. I'll, I'm inviting my dad. I'm inviting my dad. I'm inviting my dad. He's going to get a ride with the hot dog factory guy, okay? Dad and Dennis are coming together and we're going to add 100 more people and we're going to make sure it's super indoors.

Great, that's wedding of the year. So earlier you were saying that it feels like this show is put together with popsicle sticks and tape and I was cracking up because that is this ending right now. Candy's voice, she goes, coming up for the next few weeks on Real Housewives of Atlanta, join us on an epic girls trip and then we see them in Charleston, their strippers

and she goes, with enough twists and turns that will make you wonder and then she never finishes the sentence. It just ends. No, because someone goes, who did that? No, it doesn't. Someone goes, who did that? Oh, it was like, they never finished the sentence.

Oh my God. I'm just, she's deep and I didn't write it down. Yeah, and there was something kind of like stringing about this tease. It wasn't like still to come this season or, or they didn't do one of those things like the next three weeks or the vacation that changes everything. It was like, for the next few indeterminate weeks because we haven't finished editing. So we don't know exactly how many episodes it will be. We're going to Charleston and there'll be a stripper and Kenya will dress up like basic instinct.

And there'll be twists and turns in the magical world of Atlanta. I'm like, okay, this show is barely making it through the pandemic. It really is. Some shows are doing better than others in the pandemic. I feel like this one's having some trouble for sure. Yeah, I kind of feel like they rushed back into production to meet some sort of deadline.

I kind of get that feeling before they're like really ready with all the COVID, you know, preparation. So we have like, you know, I think it's really weird that Drew is a full time housewife. And yet Latoya's had almost more screen time and more presence. Maybe Drew will be more central to the show going forward. I don't totally get it. Yeah, I'm guessing because it's usually a 24 episode season.

It'll probably be shorter this year for COVID, but what was this episode 11 or something? No, this was episode six. Oh my God, that's it. Well, but at the same time, episode six and they're already going on vacation. I have to assume this is the vacation. I don't think that they really have the luxuries of do like an early season vacation and a late season vacation, especially because

this thing that happened with the stripper, that all happened around, you know, October, right? And then this show started to air in what, November or December. So we're probably we're having a pretty short season, which I don't mind, by the way. I think this is great to get these short fun seasons. But yeah, it's definitely been interesting. Yeah. Well, everybody, that brings us to the end of the show for the day. We'll be back tomorrow with a little bull o' deic. I'm so joyous for that. And in the meantime, go get your tickets for the 2021 crappies. You can find ticket links at watchwetcrapins.com

and you can find the voting ballots over at watchwetcrapins.com as well. So do it. Do it. Yeah. Yeah, we'll talk to you on the next episode. Love you guys. Bye.

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