Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC & RHOA: Hip-Hop, Top Golf and #Chill

Episode Date: January 12, 2021

We start with Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, where Jen has a tantrum at her husband's hip hop and golf party before we head to Real Housewives of Atlanta for #Chill's engagement party. Atlanta starts at 1:03:45. Find it at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens*We're doing a 12 part series on Stitcher Premium called Dwell Hello all about HGTV's House Hunters. Sign up to Stitcher Premium at https://www.stitcher.com/premium using discount code CRAPPENS.**We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. But when people want to turn around, kids will have things like this so much that happens. Hello and welcome to Watch What Corruptions! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about. Oh, yo, bros! I'm Ronnie Caram and that's been Madelker over there.

Hi, Bane. Hey, what's up? Well, Happy Monday, huh? Thank you so much. Happy Monday to you too. Sure. It's a great day to be recapping Salt Lake City because it's snowed in Austin, Texas a lot yesterday.

I was like watching a little snow storm outside. I was cuddled up. It just felt so salt Lake City. Yeah. Salt Lake City, but you know what? At the same time, it's also an Atlanta day. It's a two-for-one special on crap ends. Yeah, which was hot as hell, and today it's hotter. So you see, I've got both shows represented

by my own personal weather outside my house. Okay, everybody, welcome to the show today. Do not forget to go get your tickets for the 2021 Corrabi Awards. We've got an amazing show planned. We've got lots of surprise special guests, Bravo people, Bravo commentators, tons of people coming to this. The tickets go on sale. Now they're on sale right now. You can find the ticket link at watchrootcrapons.com. Also,

super important to vote. Have your voice heard people. Okay, it's America. We've all seen what's been happening in America. Fight back by having your voice heard at least here. I'm watching what happens. This is true. I'm going to say, I don't mean to be hyperbolic, but I don't know if we'll ever be able to top this crappy ceremony. This is going to be, it's insane right now, Matt. It's insane, but it really will be. It's really gonna be insane. Yeah, we were just going over the list of all the guests and the presenters and it's pretty amazing.

So hope you guys can make it. You can find the voting links over at watchupcrapins.com as well or follow us on social, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, wherever you are. What else do we have to say today, Ben? I mean, that's the big news. That's it, right? That's the news, right?

Well, the other news is that we haven't recapped Salt Lake City in about two weeks because of the holidays. So we missed some. Although I have to say the episodes that air during the holidays, like on Christmas Eve or Christmas Eve Eve and then New Year's Eve, we're like a little like meh in my point of view. I kind of think that Bravo kind of buried them there on purpose.

It was sort of like, you know, like watch them on Jetsky or I mean, or Snowbevels and, you know, Whitney had to have a conversation with her dad. You know, it was like, you know, it was like, I feel like this episode is like a good one to come back on because there's a lot of stupid petty shit going on. Yes. I mean, those other episodes, there was a lot of, there were a lot of things to rage at. I mean, Whitney's dad, fucking guy.

You know, so for anybody who missed those, well, we can go over those little what happened at least. So Whitney's dad called, made her dragged her ass back to the sober living house because he was refusing to have a roommate and he wanted to just go home and get back to life. You know, like it's just time for me to get back to life. You know, what I am is a hairdresser and she's like, but I think that you're expecting me to just buy you

a salon and he just looked at her like with that fart, like he smelled a fart, but it's funny face that he made. He's like, and he's like, well, I guess what I was expecting. Thank you so much for being you and I will stay here. And it just really bugs me. The whole thing rubbed me the wrong way. And it's like, it's one thing that's wrong with getting therapy when you're just a selfless person because therapy really does teach you how to word things

in a way that sound less offensive. Yeah. It really offended me. I was like, you're being a total fucking asshole here. You're totally selfish, but you've worded it in a way that you can't get yelled at. And that made me really, really, really mad at Whitney's dad. Yeah.

I got mad too. I also got mad because I don't think we did we I don't believe we recapped the second half of the salt like the Park City fashion show. I think we sort of like led up to it. I can't believe that you missed my fashion shot. Dad, you missed it. I had a track suit that I stole from Gavanshi by the way For anybody who missed that all the pictures going around on the internet that That's just a stolen Gavanshi track suit like literally the exact same thing shame on you With like a tape measure attached to it with his name Brooks Marx the K the KS Kass

Whatever it is. Yes, Brooks Marx, the KSKS, whatever it is. Yes. Now did I sell macaroni and cheese on the street when I was a child, when other people had lemonade stands? And was it craft mac and cheese and not my original? And did I call it the rondel original? Yes. Yes, I did.

Okay, but I was like five. Did I take some raisins, some daggsty nose brand raisins and put them in a plastic ziplock bag and then scost it on my front lawn and sell those raisins as if they were my own harvested raisins? Yes, and did anyone ever buy them? No, because we had a long driveway and so we didn't actually have any foot traffic

because I didn't actually go down to the street. But the point remains, we understand. Wow, we're still doing business the same damn way. That's for sure. Come on, long driveway. I heard there's some raisins there that a kid is selling. I'm not moving from my home. Please, somebody give me some business.

Still doing it today in 2021. But he relentlessly guilted his father for not dropping everything and flying across the country to watch one Track suit Go down the go down the this thing at a not even like not even It's you know park city fashion show. I mean, yes You're basically having a fashion week in the alamo draft house or the david busters But that big said that I mean Seth continues to be an asshole in my book.

I don't care what people say. I don't care how many times he goes, I want to fight for this mayor. I can't even do his voice right now. But he's still a huge dick too. And this is what happens. This is what happens when Dix have Dix. Yes.

And I always feel kind of bad talking about Brooks, because he's so young, but at the same time, just because you have a toddler's and Tierra's face does not make you five. OK, you're 20 wins, sir. And you stole a taxi. Yeah. So those are the big highlights that we can remember.

Mary was barely seen over the past two weeks, which was not cool, because she's our zanyest person. Jen was going on and on. Like know, like Sharif was around. So Jen was happy. So there was something with that going on. I have the couples thing where they went snowmobiling, which you mentioned. But the funny thing in that was that Jen was totally quiet in that. She was like, hmm, I'm going to listen to what Sharif has to say at this whole thing.

And Lisa Barlow even commented, you know, like, oh, well, it's so great that you're with Jen. I love that because, you know, like it really evens her out. Like, look at her now because usually she's kind of crazy. I love that. And then there was a, I love that. Can I touch? Can I touch quiet? Jen. Um, and then we had, uh, what, but Lisa Barlow had more like work, life, balance issues that she was dealing with. And then Heather, Heather, I don't know. Heather cried about being divorced 97 times. And you know what's starting to bother me about that is that she is, she's like the only

time I ever felt like I was worth anything was when I was married and having kids and that was taken away from me. And I get that and I get that it's sad, but it also bugs me because I feel looked down on by people like that in the real world. Like before they got divorced. So I'm kind of like, yeah, the fuck you is to the pre you, but you didn't change it. Like the pre this version of you, but you didn't change it. Like, it's like the free this version of you, but you didn't choose to become this version of you. So it's still kind of a middle finger up, but that makes any sense.

Yeah, and then the only actual storyline that was going forward from all this is that Seth and Meredith, they were gonna separate, but then they decided, oh, well, the fashion show is what saved their marriage because Meredith was like being there on that fashion show, watching Brooks navigate around the ginger ale station. It made me realize, I don't want to have too many more of these events without you, Seth. And I want to stroke this out.

Hash cat blessed on me at one. You know, I think what really made her turn around was not the fashion show at all. It was pretty the fashion show where she realized that fire extinguishers and can go off wild toy lists or flooding. She didn't know what was going on and she wanted set to come fix that shit. Okay. Maybe she was just uncomfortable with the idea that like if she wanted to have sushi for dinner, she would just have to order it for herself.

She wouldn't have to be berated first. So, um, but the thing is they got back together, but the scandal is that Gen Shaz insinuating that she's with someone else. And that is what leads us into this big episode, which begins, um, not with my favorite Salt Lake City music, which has been just a single symbolic song. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. It's just like the chorus got on, like got extra if they were real chorus,

but they're just keyboard sounds. Yeah. So then Meredith is driving with her kids and Brooks is like, how are things with you? And, ah! I'm sick of wowing and composing. We learn to communicate instead of a tacky jowler. The fact that you had to get a therapy to learn that is not color art.

Yes, I'm like, well, enjoy that. Brooks, in 10 years, when you're sitting there, trying to understand why you got so fucked up by your parents. Yeah. Are you cooking something? Are you cooking something? Are you cooking something? Are you cooking something? Are you cooking something? Oh my god. The fact they had to go to therapy to learn how to communicate. It's like that's what therapy is. So then we see Whitney and, um, have there are riding on horses and then Whitney's like, you're really good at riding.

So tell me, what else have you been riding? I'm not in the Mormon church anymore. I can make jokes like that. Um, I've already booked Joe here for my second ride. Yeah, Joe. Yeah, sexual Joe. Okay, you two, we get it. Like, you're gone from the Mormon church. Yeah, Joe. Yeah, sexual joe. Okay, you too. We get it. Like you're gone from the Bournemouth church, calm it back. You know, you don't need heroin veins. Like you

don't need heroin needles coming out of your arm and every scene we get it. Your rebels, your rebels. Okay. The horse is like my pioneer ancestors do not approve of this. The horse is like, why is this lady sliding down on me while she's holding my leg with her thighs? Yeah, stripping. And then we go, you know, it's like a stripper pole. I would take me a moment. I thought you were still on Heather. So I was like, okay, I was just imagining Heather being horny.

But now I realize it was just Whitney Jerseyzett who works like a stripper ball. And then we go to Lisa's house and she's with her son and she goes, do you wanna treat? You want me to make you anything? You hungry? You want me to make you anything? Can I touch? Can I touch microwave?

And it's like, I'm not craving a microwave hot dog right now. So no mom. I know she's pretending like she's a Betty Crocker in there. Yeah, I used to have microwave hot dogs all the time. That is my mom's favorite thing to make. So I really bonded. Oh, yeah. Yeah, my mom, oh my God, I was raised in the time of just processed crap. I was like microwave hot dogs, microwave everything really or

baloney, baloney sandwiches. I thought that my, I thought that hot dogs weren't really supposed to be microwaves. I mean, I always remember way. You got to send me the condom. I remember the there was one episode of the Cosby Show where Claire and Cliff went to see Sandra and Eldon's new apartment and it was like in the bad part town and they microwave the hot dog and exploded and they jumped on the floor and hit under the coffee table. It actually makes them look like they're in one of those pandemic movies. You know how there's like hundreds of pandemic movies where the skin like something starts

to bubbling up under the skin. Yeah. That's what they look like. Delicious. Just throw some mustard on there. I have more of it. I like a toaster oven hot dark. Well, we weren't fancy like that, Ben.

Okay. So I literally have your toaster oven, Ronnie. Yeah, your toaster oven, toaster oven and childhood privilege. So Jen and Crystal, who I guess is her assistant, she's Jen's in bed talking like this, probably from yelling at somebody the night before and she's ordering her assistant around because she's gonna have a crazy crazy party for her husband. And by the way, this episode is called hip hop and heartache, which really made me I was cringing the whole way through just to see how this was gonna turn out. Yeah, I think I texted Ronnie when I watched I said, you know what? I'm just happy no one was in blackface, okay? So Jen, Jen is dressed and she's she's talking to Crystal.

She's like, I want to have a shaw amazing party. It's got to be Shah, Budalus. I'm like, okay. Shabom.com, okay, shabom.com. So she loves hip-hop. I'm like, okay, shop on calm, okay, Shabam.com. So she, she loves hip hop. So she wants a hip hop party, but this is supposed to be for Sharif. So she's also going to incorporate golf. So golf and

hip hop. Perfect. Very natural. And then she's, you know, she's really sad with Shereef gone but she wants to show him that they can still have fun together as long as she spends a ton of his money to do it and she tells us you know I was told that if I do things for other people then they'll do things for me. So let's see if it works. Why does she have to prove all her stuff to him? He's the one who's been away. He should be proving it to her. He's got a job.

I guess there's that too. What's he supposed to do? But also that's just not how that works. You know, like, it's probably, you know, what? I'm gonna go help people. I'm gonna go do some charity today. So hopefully I can get a beamer later. I guess just is just not how it's supposed to work, at least. That's true, it's like, hey, I am going to use this money to have a totally unnecessary glam squad for when I go to blockbuster video.

And so I guess I have to prove why it's worth it to fund this totally unnecessary lifestyle. Yeah, I have a friend who, every birthday, every time that somebody's birthday on Facebook, it doesn't matter if he knows the person or not, it's, you know, you see the notifications, and every single person is like, happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday,

and then every year, like clockwork, I guess because it's a date and it literally is clockwork, but when it's his birthday, he's like, ah, do you know who didn't post happy birthday? I mean, do you know how many people I post happy birthday to and no one can post a happy birthday to me on Facebook? That's not what you post happy birthday, okay? Yeah, exactly. You're doing it wrong. Exactly. Mm-hmm. So, and we all know that the happy birthday feature on Facebook is just a way to remind you of who your friends with and You know like oh, I I don't even know who this person is. I should probably you know on friend

That that's what happy birthday is really for on Facebook Reminding you who you should drop Yeah, I like that one better. Yeah So yeah, so there's gonna be a hip-hop and golf theme and So Jen's inviting she invites Whitney and yeah, and there's gonna be a hip hop and golf theme. And so Jen's inviting, she invites Whitney and yeah, and that she's basically inviting everyone except for Mary. She's trying to pull some sort of funny business, trying not to film with Mary, but hello, you're new. You don't have that, you don't have that authority yet, okay? So she's not inviting Mary and Whitney is like,

she's, I think she's FaceTiming Whitney and Whitney is like, well, I think that she feels left out and Jen's like, yeah, well, whatever. I mean, we didn't talk at the fashion show. And we see this shot of the two of them sitting side by side at the fashion show and they're both like talking in their jackets, like behind their seat or something. And they both look at each other and they're like face to face, like six inches apart, and they just totally ignore it. They just look like, should we say something? No, we're not gonna say anything. Yeah, they're like no.

And then we cut back and she goes, I'm not a fake person. Except for this rental that I'm living in for this scene or my fake vites or my face, okay? I could just go hire a bunch of models to stand around and look cute if I want to be fake Yeah, so then we go over to Mary who's boss ground her cousin her cousin made Charlinda And then she faced time to her grandfather slash husband robber who's in Florida

because They have a bunch of estates and he's there to check on the estate More specifically the grass they have a bunch of estates and he's there to check on the estate. More specifically the grass. The grass. Yes, Mary's like, okay, how's Florida? Are you still checking on the grass? Because I know that when you check on the grass, it's a three month vacation.

It's like, what are these? These two are speaking in some weird code. It's creeping me out, okay? What does that mean you're checking on the grass for three months. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. I think I think I feel like we probably all had a few thoughts about what was really going on with Robert and Florida, but you know, Florida has become of course the place where reality star husbands go off to do mysterious things, like

Ralph on Atlanta. Yeah. So she like well when my grandmother passed she left me an empire homes churches take care of a mortgage company restaurants her husband Do they make you do this every single time? Like okay, we're doing another diary session tell everyone you're banging your grandpa Well, what is the deal with this church again? What was her grandma like a televan tele evangelist or something like how did she, how did her church empire become so sprawling? It's called 10% of people who go to that church's income. And then their church, I don't know, all the stuff on all the scandals about this church online say that they they have people like remorgage to their homes or refine out their homes and all this stuff for the church. So it's not even just

your regular 10%. Like not money. I guess they've parlayed it. No idea. This show's not going to explain it to us. You know, they're confusing us on purpose. I think so. So Robert Sr. just loves checking on all the homes that they own across the country. He basically loves going around, going around. I'm sure he never sees anyone at any of these homes. He's just there purely to go to those homes and make sure they're still standing because when you have a lot of money, you don't do things like hire house managers. No, you make those trips. He makes you say, well, we have houses in Salt Lake City, Vegas, New York, Carmel, Indiana,

and also Orlandolando. Wow. Interesting city, Stipic. And we don't rent our houses. We don't share. So yeah, I was like, wow, just what I want my preacher to say. That's exactly what I said. That's exactly what I want for my preacher.

We don't share. We're just gonna have a bunch of empty homes across the country that people are not allowed to live in If you need a roof over your head, don't use my homes. Yeah, so They're talking and she's saying, oh, I really miss your breakfast because I'm Fending for myself every morning. And then it gives the maid cousin, what's the clean thing?

Charlotte Linda. Yeah, it gives the cleans in. She just looks like fuck you. I'm making your stupid tray every morning. And then she cries to her grand husband that she's not invited to this party. And she doesn't understand what she did to Jen to make her hate me. And he's like, jealousy is a cruel, cruel mistress.

So they're just going to still go with that thing, the jealousy thing. And, you know, and she just marries crying and she's not happy. And she just feels like all the girls just took Jen's side So then so then we go over to Heather and she's putting all this Valentine stuff over around her house I guess she's having a gallon times with her daughters and it's a tradition. It's a big tradition in their house I've never seen this before of it like of of of Valentine's slash Valentine's being such a big family tradition in the household But it is and so now at long last we get to meet Heather's ex-husband. Oh my god. Billy literally looks like a guy from Bill.

Yes, a scarecrow come to he looks like a guy from big love. The Mormon show on HBO. He really looks like one of the characters, the bad guy who turned out to be gay. If you told me, hey, here's a guy who has huge Mormon roots that go back to pie in your days, it would look exactly like Billy. It would be exactly exactly like Billy. Yeah.

He looks like he could use some vitamins. I'm just gonna say that. He looks very like eye-sunk and he, I don't think the divorce is treating him very kindly. I'll say that. It's like if Mr. Peanut decided to hang up the top hat in the cane and just like live in the suburbs and you know get involved in like bird watching. Mr. Peanut.

This is Billy. Oh no, poor Mr. Peanut. It's like how dare you sir. He's like adjusting his monical. How dare you. Mr. Peanut's been living his truth for many, many decades. And we know if Mr. Peanut decided he wanted to review his lifestyle and, you know, he wants to go like the,

he wants to get in touch with God, it's Billy. Yeah. So she tells us another really fascinating story about Billy. She's like, well, when I met Billy, he first checked all the boxes. He was over six feet tall. He was cool. And his connection to Howard Hughes made him more man royalty. And that is all that mattered.

Okay, am I supposed to feel bad for you? Because this is the most shallow, stupid, horrible reason to marry somebody. And you deserve for it not to work out. That's ridiculous most shallow, stupid, horrible reason to marry somebody and you deserve for it not to work out. That's ridiculous. Yeah. I love that this guy checks all the boxes. The only, literally, like he walks in and his very first line on the history of Real House was Assault Lake City is, do you have a vase or something?

Like, he checks all the boxes, sparkling personality, vibrant conversation, fascinated about vases, it's everything. Nope, he's over six feet tall. Come on people, come on! They poop more. How many times do I have to say that on this show? The taller they are, the more they poop. The harder it is to travel with them

because they're a pain in the ass to sit next to you. Now this is not to shame anybody who's over six feet tall. I'm just saying it's not the dream. It seems like on these shows. So then Billy's like, do you guys have any valentines? Just fall asleep onto his own chest sitting in the chair. But the best part about this crazy relationship is, so basically he asked her to get married after three months. And then when we find out the true source of their downfall was scary movie three because they went to see it and there's some sort of scene with the glory hole and he was horrified

and made them leave the movie. And basically Heather wasn't really that pissed. She was like whatever. And so he withheld sex from her just to remind her how debauchess she really was for laughing at that glory Hulk joke. It's going movie three. Yeah. And, um, see, they give gifts or whatever. And poor Billy's like, I guess I'll just hold this bearish and nobody got me anything. So then we try to give you a box, a scary movie box set, but then we'll remember.

Yeah, so then Heather tells us the reason they got separated is that she was planning her kids baby shower and she didn't want to change the time to accommodate his sister. So he was like, fine, do it when you want and I'll move that next week. And I've always been the girl who never says no, but then I said no. And then he moved out. And that was that. Well, you know, sir, do you know who doesn't say now glory holes? Okay. It's all good time girls. Good time girls. I was always the yes girl. And allegedly, the good time girl. Yeah, I'm just a girl who can't say no is literally sung by a good time girl by the way.

Who rebukes scary movie? I'm just a girl who can't say no. Unless there's a glory hole involved. That's just too debaucherous for me to say yes to and therefore I will leave the movie theater That's the full the original version of that song. Yeah, the original Oklahoma so They're joking with him and Heather's like how do you feel about double piercings and he's like um Well, I guess that's okay, but if you get it tattoo Sure he did but it says dad

Oh you get a tattoo. Sure he did, but it says that. Oh, I love that. I love that the casual hilarious conversation is joking about your daughter's becoming loose girls and doing things like get tattoos. What's your earrings? Well, it is shocking that Heather decided to leave Billy or that Billy left. It's shocking that this didn't work out because

it's it's hard to resist a guy who then says, well, let me go home and spend an hour in the hot tub by myself. Yeah, he got a hot tub to make him feel better. This I think he imagined this whole single life thing is being a lot different than it's turning out to be for him. For guy. Is he single? I don't know. Is he single or is he remarried? Do we know? I guess it sounds like he's single. Hot tub below.

That's pretty single. Getting a hot tub after your divorce and then going into it to sit alone because you have nothing to do on Valentine's Day. Sounds pretty single. Yeah. Well, maybe he should spend less time in the hot tub and more time at that, at the, at the, at Heather's spa. I don't know. Yeah. Good, great. Which is the name of the spa as and more time at that, at the, at the, at Heather's spa. I don't know. Yeah. The Michael Corioles. Which is the name of the spa as we all know. And then this Valentine's Day scene ends with Heather saying, I'm at the worst say now,

ostracized from my community and to loan, shut up Heather. And also, your life sounds a lot better than Billy's. I think you're winning. Yeah. It's time to stop saying ostracized and more, it's time to stop saying ostrac and more. It's time to stop saying ashis and start saying liberated, okay? It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial! Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life, but come on! Some days, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting.

Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Now we go over to Mary's house where it looks like she's making a plate of chicken nuggets. I can't, I wasn't even sure what that was or maybe it was like sugar like, like, chicken nuggets. Yeah, she was counting out three chicken nuggets and then Whitney comes over and Mary who's wearing these giant power puff girl boots makes Mary put on

Fuddies, which is the biggest scandal that I've read this week by the way from the show is people like how dare she Makes someone else wear footies when she's wearing boots. So I have to make that Exactly and on top of that that they have to send these crazy chairs to put them on. These weird like, I, you know, a lot of the things inside that house are very curious. And those chairs are, are, are, are,

chief among them. Yeah. So Mary tells us, it's important for people to wear booties in my home because I don't know where you walked that day. And if you, maybe you hurled and then you you walked in it or like if a bird decided to like splash on you or you could have been in front of a 7 11. I don't know.

Yeah. And she has lots of interesting hangups. She does. And she says people don't realize she's her dirty. People realize people realize you just tell the first of all, you have Charlinda also, by the way, like you literally have someone, you have someone who's there cleaning the floors. Okay. Um, so, so then as they go up to Mary's closet and it's,

it's kind of crazy. Um, and there's like a, then, but then we're, but it turns out we're actually in her bedroom and that her bedroom has just been overrun with her clothing and there's like this weird Rikoko kind of headboard on the bed and it's all or neat. And it's the perfect fodder for Whitney to tee up one of her made for television jokes, which is if you're clothing, it's taking over your 20,000 square foot house, you might just be a hand hoarder. I'm very, it's like, this is my closet. Welcome to my humble abolt.

So she, she left her in and explains her love for clothes and that, you know, I just love sitting in my Balmani pants and these Gucci boots and this shirt from Milano. It's sad. Sorry. I was drinking some water. I thought for sure, I thought for sure you were going to then talk about the back story about where she learned her her her great love of fashion. And she learned it because of her grandmother and her grandmother was so obsessed with shopping that she flew Mary to Florida to see the new

So obsessed with shopping, that she flew Mary to Florida to see the new dillards. My favorite. My favorite. I actually have to go there tomorrow, return a kitchen aid mixer. What do you think about that? Now, my mother would, she wouldn't fly me in, but she would be like, Ronnie, could you set aside a week? The dillards is opening. I can see that.

Yeah, that's, that, I mean, it reminds me of when Applebee's opened up in my hometown and there were lines and lines and lines for months just to get into Applebee's Oh, well Paso 2 Al Paso was all about Applebee's it was hilarious because it was all the country club people too It was like all the people who thought they were all fancy at the Applebee's they'd be like, hey John Hey, Rick how you doing? I'm great to have a new place in Toronto, isn't it? And my mom got cheese sticks there and spent the whole night bitching that she knew that these were frozen cheese sticks. And it just finally said,

what do you fucking expect? Do you really want them to make fresh cheese sticks? They're cheese sticks. I think the same. I don't think the two sticks are always frozen. Yeah, we were like, my town didn't have any of those sort of restaurants, we didn't have like a TGIFs or TGIF Fridays or like a Chili's or any of those.

So like that was like the first type of that restaurant to open up and we were so for like weeks ahead of time, we were so excited. I was so excited that my friend Michelle and I drove by one day and we saw people inside and the lights were on that we stopped the car and walked in and it was an employee meeting. There's no restaurant, not even opened up.

We just walked right into an employee meeting. Yeah. My first job that wasn't working at one of my families, like the bowling alley or whatever, was when I was 15, I was the bus boy at Applebees. And when I didn't dust all of the little license plates and stuff on the wall one day, I got caught and they said I was a bad apple, no lie.

I think you told that story before, but it's funny. I have never had felt so disrespected in my life, them to be called a bad apple by some asshole at Applebees with their frozen cheese sticks. Yeah, God, I couldn't really go for some Applebees right now to be honest. So anyway, I'm starving. I'm starving. I am so hungry.

I'm starving. I'm starving. I am so hungry. I am starving. I am starving. I am starving. I am starving. I am starving.

I am starving. I am starving. I am starving. I am starving. I am starving. I am starving. I am starving. amount of time to stick to anything. And I'm really about to like put some mustard on Bueller's head and just eat it off. I'm starving. I'm starving right now, Matt. It's crazy. I am starving talking about this. So let's go back to Mary. So Mary, Mary basically wants to know like what's going on from Whitney, like about Jen,

like, you know, she's married. Like, you know, I tried to bring us together as a group. Hold on, let me choke up for one second. Buh-buh, buh-buh, buh-buh, buh-buh. It didn't work. I just decided that's her choke up noise. Buh-buh, buh-buh, buh-buh, buh-buh. Because you can't see us choking up on the recap. And she tells her, listen, I'm the one who gets mistreated

because now there's a party and I don't get to go and you guys are too afraid of her to even speak up, you know, and I know that people are afraid of her because I've spoken to everyone about it. And you all agree that she's scary, but then no one has my back. And Whitney goes, so it is fear based. You think no one wants to rock that boat. Do Lisa and Meredith feel the same way? What did they say? Do you want to hear my joke about how you're a high class order? You might just be a high class order. Hey

Do you order diving rings and then the next day order more diving rings? Then you might just be a high class order Then you might just be a high class order And Mary says yeah, they also add that they're scared of her and so Mary tells us they want to be safe Look look they're afraid So she's like, and it's just not right Whitney. I would stick up for you and when he's like I'm uncomfortable being in the middle, but I'm not a good friend to Mary by not saying everything. And it feels terrible, like a terrible thing to do. I will say something.

Oh, God, Whitney. She is gloriously awkward of being messy. And I'm really, it turns out in the beginning of the season, I was like, what is Whitney doing here? That she doesn't belong on, she's like on a different show. Turns out she's the clunky mess we never knew we needed. So now we go over to Meredith's house. And Meredith is with the guys, Brooks and Seth. And she's like, we should order some food. I thought we could order some sushi from Yokeyama. Yokeyama

anyone? Yokeyama? And Brooks is like, well, for ordering from there, then why are we limited to sushi? And then the bad is like, I don't want sushi. I want you, baby. And he's like, could you guys do this in your bedroom? Because I'm like standing here right now. Should I just order? You guys are being really annoying. Ugh. Seth and I are in a better place. We now know that it's okay.

She can order Tariaki and I can order sushi and it's all... Okay. Do you want Tariaki ribs? Oh, you're touching each other. I'm gonna barf mother, stop. You know what, for Brooks being a, like a young, fashionista, independent man, you know,

spirit of the future, I don't understand why he wasn't using like Door-Dash. Why was he calling the restaurant? That was, seems so retrograde. Okay. Really? So, um, I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding. Totally support the restaurants and their, and their orderers, et cetera. I just thought it was funny that Brooks was not using an app because it just seemed like he would use an app. Yeah, I mean, I thought about it too. And then I was watching this HGTV show

with a girl from the Brady Budge, Marine McCormick. Don't ask me. You guys, I got a free discovery plus. So I was watching it, I got it with my foot rice in. So anyway, one of the fun facts, because Marine McCormick, of course, all she does is walk around and go, oh my god, this is just like the Brady house.

Oh, she got it. She got it. Because the show is taking like houses from the 50s and 60s and modernizing them, but they're still mom. So it just gives her a chance to remind us she was in the Brady Bunch over and over again. And one of the little fun facts that popped up was Alice from the Brady Bunch actually admitted in an interview

that she enjoyed takeout more than she enjoyed cooking. And I was like, oh my God, those poor people who lived back then, having to actually go to the restaurant as if they're in wait for their Chinese food. When you said the, well, you have to call the restaurant and just like have the restaurant

would actually be the one that would deliver to you. Yeah, or you had to like go there for takeout. And then you had to like go and pick it up and stuff. I just did that last week. I just did that. I actually went to a restaurant and picked it up. Myself, who's crazy. You're like, had to like go and pick it up and stuff. I just did that last week. I just did that. I actually went to a restaurant and picked it up myself. It was crazy. You're like a pioneer ancestor. Ha ha ha ha could not sound like more entitled fucks, can we?

Yeah, we'll be projecting, okay? It's called Projects in People. It's called Podcasting. I was this obnoxious fucking teenager, so I can say. We were, yes. Yeah, so Brooks, if you're listening, just know that everything we say about you,

we're saying to ourselves. Also, don't listen to this, please. Okay, so the food arrives in two seconds, it's TV and Meredith is like, yeah, no and the pants We've always trained to make our marriage work friendly cans, but now the kids aren't even a factor anymore So we either work this out for us or for not no more playing around this is for real. It's for us We're gonna make best is for real, it's for us, we're gonna make it. Um, yeah, just romance everywhere, you know. We should also mention that, first of all, I do want to say that it really bothered me that the food arrived so quickly because if they took us over the journey of waiting for the food? Because that is a big part of it.

But then Seth is like, you're looking good girl. You wanna have a party tonight? It's like, oh God. I was like, you know what? Brooks may have a point. He is disgusting in this household. Yeah, he does. But listen, you're gonna show up from college

for a little housewives' camera time, you're gonna have to sit through this shit, okay? This is the housewives. time, you're gonna have to sit through this shit, okay? Yeah. This is the housewives. So Brooks is like, disgusting. Listen guys, I'm in the bedroom below you. So like if you have sex, do it in a different room. So I don't have to hear it.

You know what, Brooks? Since you're my son, I'm gonna laugh. But if you're one of my friends, I would position myself diagonally and say I've had enough. I will not engage. I will not engage. I'm gonna I'm diagonal and not engaging right now. So then Whitney goes over to Sarah's house. Now Sarah's kind of that bimbo girl who's like, Yeah, I had really high hopes for Sarah at the beginning of the season when she walked in and was like, it's birthday is this I was like, oh my god, I love this girl. We need to see more of her. I was like, oh my god, I love this girl. We need to see more of her.

Turns out she was part of the, she was at the rally that tried to take over the Capitol. So, she was at the insurrection. So fuck her, fuck her big time. Yeah, so there you go. There's, there's your new house. She's, she's, she's treasonous. Turns out, didn't realize that, but she's treasonous turns out, didn't realize that,

but she's treasonous. I know, but it's kind of sad because this whole scene, I'm like, this girl actually is turning out to be boring. And then I read that insurrection stuff. And I was like, wow, god, I wish they were shooting Ben, because that would have been fun to see, like a real house. So I think, I ain't games, I'm playing the girls trip. We're gonna attack the Capitol building This this year for the girls trip We're going to the Capitol, Rachanda uninvited Who's in you know she probably didn't even know she probably showed up like She probably soed up like happy birthday

Happy birthday to Quannon. It's QAnon. Oh I do have questions. I've been following this for a long time because I do have questions So so they walk in and so Whitney is over there with Sarah and they're in the kitchen and then Sarah has those mats down. I have two of them because I'm getting old and she's like, this is the mat I bought for my maids to feel comfortable while they do it right. She's like, and then she puts out like her plate that she puts out. I mean, it's a, honestly, I'm like really furious that she took part in this, she took part in this insurrection because like this is the kind of train wreck

that I'd love to watch on my TV. And of course, this is what always happens. The train wreck that I love to watch turn out to be the most problematic people of all time. But she is sitting there putting out this spread. And you know what, like for every freaking like supermarket, cheese and cracker thing that Jennifer Aiden ever brought to

Real House, has in New Jersey, I have to take it all back. Cause nothing compares to this like, Apple that slice and then she takes some began to just like tosses them on top like yeah. The MacDonald's like the Apple slices for McDonald's are more elegant than this display. So Whitney explains that this girl knows everybody and that they're really good friends because basically she's on her third marriage and they both have the church together. So this girl is like, you know, a good time, a runaway good time girl is with.

Yeah. So have you been, now that you've been to force three times and Sarah's like, well, I'm creating like a new version of mine. Slash reality. Slash perception. Yeah. So Whitney's like yeah I can understand how it would be on a third marriage because even being in a second marriage is hard because Justin's family made it clear I will never replace the X like there's a wedding photo of us but they wouldn't even put it up they had his wedding photo to her but then finally they put mine up but then also they put up the X-wives with

her new husband too. I mean why are these parents not on this TV show? I know they sound like monsters and also kind of agree with the I I mean, I'm with the parents. Like the man left his family for the fucking secretary, okay? It's not like everyone's gonna like lift you up on their arms and start like carrying you down the street, parading you around, okay? Probably take some time. Okay. Yeah, take some time.

And they're obviously crazy because they have the, they have a passive aggressive photo of the ex-wife with her new husband, which is totally unnecessary We really need to see more about these people so um so yes So then what needs to our telling Sara about you know Jen and Mary and their beef at everything and Sarah's like I like Jan a lot, but she's a lot like If I were you I would talk to her about it. It could like make you guys stronger You can't keep letting it get more and more Toxic the last thing you need to be in is in a toxic environment and then next thing you know

You're just like barging into Jen's house and they're trying to keep you out and you're taking selfies Because it's so toxic you just go in there and just like tear everything down that's the last thing you need. Listen, Jen's a lot but you know what, I really, you know, I don't want to make her mad. Otherwise someone's going to try and start Nancy Pelosi on fire. Here I got this awesome buffalo head dress that you can put on your head when you talk to her and you're some face paint. Oh, God. So Whitney's like, well, you have a party coming up and around her husband, Jen is so quiet, like she's sweet and calm. And it's like a whole nether Jen. And so she's like, oh my God, if Sharif is there, then maybe that's a good time to bring this out because she'll be like more chow. Yeah. And when he's

like, in the Mormon church, we were taught to sweep things under the rug. Oh my God. And that's why I got these mats. So that when you sweep things under the rug, you're more comfortable, or at least your maids are. That's why I got these soft grip handles for my maids. I don't want them to hurt their hands. So now the moment we've all been waiting for, at least the Barlow goes to an aquarium. I love that. Look at that.

Look at that. Can I touch the shark? Is that a shark? Is that a shark? Is that a whale shark? Uh-oh, it's a whale shark. It's a whale shark. It's a whale shark.

It's a whale shark. Do a well. It's a well. It's a well. It's a well. It's a well. That's just like the keynote. Did I like the keynote? I'm Henry. Her youngest is like, blowfish are made out of alien blood. Oh my god, you think so? They seem like it. And he goes, it's a fact. Area 51 makes blowfish. Oh my god. Area 51. That was such a great club. You know what? That club would have still been open if I was doing the if I was doing the parties for I'm the queen of area 51 love that when I go to area 51 No one hears me for a week mainly because it's classified but also because I'm in work mode It's like how I penguin you know what I don't even know how that penguin lives without a cellphone in its head. What are you doing for work penguin seriously?

Do you wanna come to Park City penguin? Oh, hey, look at that little shark face. What is that? Is that a baby one? Can I touch? Can I touch? What would you name those penguins if you could? And Henry think, fresh wealth.

And so then she explains to us that fresh wealth is their new family business. My kids, a few months ago came up with the idea of a fresh wealth. Like when we say we're gonna do something in our family, we do it. Diet Coke, look at me, now I'm drinking a Diet Coke. Ha ha ha ha. Penguins, now we have penguins at our feet. That's just how we work.

Baby shark, the people in cystic and shock from Club 51. There it is. OK, the question for the aquarium. How many of these penguins come back to Park City to work with me? All right. Do they want Vita Tequila? Do they want it? Are there any hybrid penguins here?

OK, so what cracks me up in one of the episodes that we missed regaming with when her husband's like, honey, I think we need to talk. We do not spend enough time together. You are always on your phone and she's like, yeah, but guess what? You know what I work? And that's how I spend time with you. Look at me, I'm being warm. Did you even hear me?

Who are you right now? I don't even know you. So then he tells her, but honey, we need to spend more time with the kids and she's just nodding at him and nodding. And he goes through this whole speech about how their kids are young and now's their only time. And so he goes through all of this and he stops and she goes, so you think our kids should work for us? Is that what you're saying? Bring them into the job and the enterprise. Okay. we could do that.

My, I think my, my favorite button on this scene was after they were playing with the penguins, they went to like, um, an area to sit and like, eat snacks and everything, at least is like, I love being with you guys. I love spending time with you guys. What did you think about the penguins? And then the sun is like, yeah, I love the penguins,

and he's eating a giant donut that's in the shape of a penguin. And I was like, that is so dark. It is, I'm assuming. He's eating a penguin. It also looked like the most amazing donut. I have ever seen it was enormous and full of like chocolate style penguin.

Yeah, it looks like a penguin shaped a Claire. Oh my God. It was it was so huge and he's like it was like the time when we went to the Atlanta aquarium and worked at work, didn't they have like fish like fish and chips on the menu? Or is that just in my mind? No, that happened. Yeah. People don't get it, you know. It's so sad. People don't get it, you know, it's so sad. Jen is now with the shot squad and she's getting into her Beyonce Super Bowl outfit and Shereef thinks that

That they're going on just a date night, but it's a surprise and then we're seeing everyone else dressing up And you see Lisa Barlow. She's like, I'm getting dressed up and hip hop. Hey, where's my eyes? Where's my eyes? It's hip hop night. Is this enough? Who bearings in eyes? This eyes. So then Brooks is bringing Meredith a full outfit. He's like, I was thinking this top,

these pants, this trench couch. Like, that's like a lot of monograms. They were, I ain't- Yeah, because it was all like Fendi. It was like, it was all this stuff, all unfendi. And he's like a lot of monograms. They were, I ain't- Yeah, because it was all like Fendi. It was like, it was all this stuff all unfendi. And he's like, He's like, it's hip hop, it's thick. But do what you want.

So then we, so now Shreef and Jenna drive into destination. And Jenna has actually managed to fool Shreef into thinking, thinking they're going to pop eyes. So he's very excited. I think most human beings would be. And then turns out that the party's actually at top golf, which of course we should have seen coming. And they show up there. People are showing up.

So Meredith is now showing up in the Fendi outfit that Brooks pulled and she looks kind of like a Fendi detective. Like I know that like labels are like our big and in like hip hop fashion I guess, but she just, she just like a detective. Yeah, she looks like a really ghost Carmen Sandiego. Yeah, like a Carmen Sandiego who also was concerned about fashion. Yeah, also I love that Jen's like,

I have the biggest parties of all time like everybody knows I am the party girl. I'm the party planner. So I Brented out the party room and top golf Wow was Chuck E. Cheese busy or what? If this party doesn't show a shrieve how much I love them then maybe I should start dating other people And then the producers like is that a a dig on Mardath and Seth? I just, no comment. So then all his friends and family are there. They've all come in for his party

and he is really surprised, which is cute. And Lisa's family pack around her chest. Oh my God, this world. So then let's see, he's like, yeah, she told me we were going to pop eyes and they're all cracking up And Jen has taken off her pants and he's like, okay, what is this? And she's like, I'd be on Sam performing for the Super Bowl You know hip hop so So then they're just like everyone's dancing everyone's having a good time. There's like a dance battle

Whitney's just on the ground riding around Whitney heard it was a 1990s hip hophop party and she got so excited to show us her choreograph routine from middle school. Can I not touch? Can I not touch? Yeah, Whitney means a lot of attention, like positive or negative, but like stopped working, get off the floor. penguin. So then Whitney falls doing a hamstand. So she's like, no, no, really, I can do it again. I just need to hold onto something with my thighs. So then her husband is golfing alone outside.

Yeah. And then Jen starts doing the worm. And Jen is like, listen, I got that brown girl rhythm. And you don't. And then they just show her stumbling off of like a chair. It was so shady. So then Whitney is really nervous. I don't like confrontation.

So I am nervous. I am sweating. I am drinking up wine to build up courage. I think it is the right thing to do. We can all get on the same page now. Yeah. And we learned that a day earlier, Whitney had told Heather that Lisa and Meredith called

Mary and said that they're scared of Jen. So now Heather is in this state of mind where she's like, I love Jen, but she deserves to know that Meredith and Lisa are talking behind her back. So rebate, which is what they were doing to, which by the way, Whitney and Heather were talking behind Meredith and Lisa's back so Yes, the snake that eats his tail. Yeah, this is like the classic house. So I was fight right so Whitney tells Heather She's gonna pull her aside and Heather's like okay, and you can recite and then all join in if I'm not ostracized first and Heather's like okay

So Whitney is drunk. She's gotten drunk so that she can do this she pulls genocide and she's like Jen hi it is me Whitney Jen you know I am a straight shooter and I stand up Jen so you know I'm a straight shooter and I stand up for what is right and for what it can I start over what is like and for what it, oh, can I start over? Oh my gosh. Jen is like, what the fuck is going on? She has to keep starting over because she can't remember her lines.

And it's like she thinks that production is gonna cut or something and like edit this all into one line or something, it's so funny because she keeps starting like she's saying it for the first time. Yes, yeah, when she says, can I start over? You think she's just going to like, you know, use different words, but she's like, no, I messed up my line.

Let me do that again. Like they keep it all in. It's so funny. Yeah. And she's like, I told you from day one, I stood up for right and wrong. Right. And I thought you were good with the other women. And I was surprised to hear this week

that some of the women are just, and Jen's like, just tell me what the fuck is going on. Spit it out. Jen and Lisa called Mary and said they were afraid of you. And Whitney's like, I mean, Jen's like, what? And she goes,

wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Because Heather was the one who jumped in to said that. So I got that wrong, right? Heather was one of you jumps in. And she's like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Because Heather was the one who jumped in and said that. So I got that wrong, right? Heather was one of you jumps in. And she's like, yeah, listen, Jen and Lisa Colt Mary said they were afraid of you. And when he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, hold on. Jen, you know that I'm a straight shooter, right?

Not really, because you haven't said anything straight forward in this entire scene. So Jen's like, what do you, like, what do you mean scared of me? That's so absurd. I mean, you know that what Mary says. You know, she's cocoa for, for, she's cocoa for cocoa pops, right?

And then in the other room, Lisa's like, are they yelling? Are they yelling? Meredith, are they yelling? I think they're yelling. Are they yelling? Can I touch? Can I touch the yelling?

I love that. So Jen's like, why are you telling me this, right? I mean, this is my husband's party. I told you this was important to me. And Lisa's like, OK, yeah, we're definitely going over there. So Whitney's like, this is getting way out of hand. Because of course, Jen is flying off the handle, shocker, you know?

So Jen's like, OK, we're going to find out right now, right now. Yeah, she's like, she's like, they're scared of me. They're talking shit behind my back to Mary. So then Lisa's like, Jen, Jen, I'm not afraid of you. You know what? I'm afraid of my battery darn because I work so hard. I love that. And she's like, she said you were talking about me to Mary! So you know what to say say I'm annoyed with Whitney is an understatement. Do you need glasses? Because I'm stopping right in front of you.

Ask me if I'm afraid of Jen. And the answer is no. Ask me if that shark was a baby dolphin. I would say no, it's shark. It's shark. That's what it was. It was a shark. It was a shark.

That's what everyone knows. It was a shark. And it loves Vita tequila. Sorry. Can't fight with nature. So Meredith is like, I have never had a conversation of significance with Mary and Jen. Okay. I'm a very elegant woman who orders sushi from Yaki Yama. All right. Never had a conversation. So Whitney is now with right they kind of split up to talk in smaller groups. So Whitney is now talking and she's like, um, invite me being honest, I will say this.

I don't like to gossip, but while we're doing it, Jen has been pretty insistent Meredith that there is a bigger problem in your marriage. Should I say that again? I don't like to gossip. I've always been on the side of right and wrong. So then we get a clip of Jen saying that and Meredith is like, what is nothing to figure out in my marriage? Why? And then she starts twitching her head and Meredith just starts like swinging her wig around whenever she's mad. She squints her eyes and then just like swings her wig to one side while she's

looking invisible hair off her lip. And then she pulls out a magnifying glass and says, I see footsteps. I think this is a clue. So Whitney is like, I just want you to know, I am done engaging on the conversation. Okay. It's none of her business. I thank you done engaging. And elegant woman disengaging and front of your eyes.

I went and he said, yeah, but my point is I'm a straight shooter. And I don't like our friends trying to take up dirt. You know, I'm heard. It's like, well, I nothing to figure out. And perhaps people in glass houses shined through stones. I'm gonna lick an invisible hair off my lip and swing my wig back to 20s. Can you get one thing?

This, I am so angry I'm going to do my share impersonation, okay? Ah, ah, ah. So, so now when he goes back to Jen and is like, so now you and Meredith can talk about what I just shared there. Look, I'm not putting myself in the middle. I'm just telling you guys what you guys are saying about each other behind each other's back. There we go.

And Meredith is like, Ryan, I don't think I'll be here in that long. I ain't angry. And she was like, what is going on now? What is going on? Whitney just say it stupid, rather on the floor, just say it stupid, say it. And she's like, I am about to lose my shit. And then she's already losing her shit, you know? Yeah. So Heather is Heather has run away now. And now she's watching from inside.

She's watching from inside. Just like her pioneer ancestors did when they started fights with each other. And so Jen, so wouldn't he was like, why are your friends saying they're scared of you and not saying it to your face? And Jen's like, I don't know, I don't know. As a friend, I wanted you to know.

And as Meredith's friend, I want to know why everyone's talking about her marriage. I'm not giving truth about it. And I'm just, just like, I feel like Whitney's messing with me. Wait, Jen says that? Well, she feels like Whitney's messing with her because Whitney is basically messing with her.

She's like, yeah, she's trying to mess with me. She wants to talk about me during Meredith's and Meredith's fucking marriage. Are you insane at my husband's birthday? I mean, yeah, but you did say that. And Whitney's like, well, I'm just trying to get to the bottom. And Lisa's like, there is no bullshit. I'm 100% not afraid of Jen.

And Jen's screaming, Mary is crazy. Shut the fuck up about Mary! And then she picks up a glass and throws it, it breaks all over the ground. And then, he's sort of a clunky, it was like, it was like exactly what I'd expect from this show,

for like a glass throwing scene, cause we've had a lot of big glass throwers, we've had everyone on New Jersey, Leanne Lockon, you know, we've seen some big glass throwing. This was like a weird like, I feel like I should throw this right now, but I don't know how to throw it.

So I'm just gonna, there. Yeah, it's like I was, I'm gonna throw a glass tonight and I'm just gonna wait for the right time, but then you don't have the right time, so you just take it. Yeah, you're like, it's good enough. I should have done, it's like when you come up with a response to someone like 10 minutes later, like, damn, and I should have said that.

She's like, I should have thrown this glass 10 minutes ago, but here goes. So she stomps inside and grabs her, even starts like pulling him really hard by the arm and he's like, what's going on? I'm like, get me out of here, those fucking bitches. Get my purse on my fucking phone, let's go! And she's making a total ass out of herself screaming as loud as she can in front of the party. My God.

And it was like, you know, sort of like funny and camping because we're watching this. But then I was like, her 14 year old son is like right there and he looks terrified and confused. And I'm like, you know what, this is actually not cool. Like this poor kid is, this is probably traumatizing for a kid. Honestly, if he has to endure these sort of like, like these moments of lunacy, right?

Like she's like so over the top and the kid looks terrified. And it's like all his friends and family that he hasn't seen in years. He hasn't seen these people for a year. It's always dearest friends and family. And she's like, I mean, before at least they were outside. But now she's screaming and yelling, those bitches get me out of here. So she stomps up the stairs and she's popping the balloons and calling the bitches and screaming that their assholes and Whitney's outside crying.

Like, I'm the fucking asshole and of course Meredith's like I'm not engaging guess one yeah I'm not engaging me more we only gauging with a sushi menu at yakinama so yeah I'm not engaging on that one blessed and so basically like Jen winds up in the car like you know sobbing while her son Omar is like, Mama, breathe, don't do that, don't do that. And, you know, Shreef and his, and their older son are just like, well, it's another fight over dumb shit is what happens when Jen drinks, you know?

And I love that he stayed at the party. And just like, go home, yeah, good, me. Absolutely. Good move. It's his party and she was making a scene and the girls were being shady, but she really lost her mind. She's got to get that shit under control. If it's being performative for the show, then fine, but if this is a real issue that she has,

she's got to get somewhat under control. I mean, you're at top, you paid for top golf. I mean, they have that. I just top golf, ma'am, okay don't know where you think you are about this. Top golf. Top golf. You know, speaking of parties, this wasn't the only party that happened on Bravo. Why don't we make a little pivot over to Real Housewives of Atlanta? Jesus party. Party themed this week. A big old party theme. Yes, it was. I'm just writing down the time could so I can tell people where it is in the episode

So consider it's lives of Atlanta so this episode Should we just talk about the bigger stuff on this episode? But you will just I mean Yeah, well just so it's basically like the whole thing is that Kenya is planning a surprise engagement party for Cynthia and she is because she feels quote unquote bad about almost ruining the engagement last time so she is she now has this venue in like a strip mall and she has a party planner and a plan for an ice sculpture to wow.

Jill. Jill. So we go to candies and they're trying to pack for Riley and they decide, you know, Riley is going to have to learn to clean. Like she doesn't even know how to clean. And Riley's like, gross, I don't want to do that. So they're basically teaching her what a sponge is. She doesn't know why you use a sponge to clean. And Ace turns out is very good at chores because he's the little, the second youngest in the house is showing her how to clean. Yeah, he actually knows how to clean as, as, and as enthusiastic

about it. So I think Candy's doing a good job with that one. Yeah. And then we go over, oh, and then Cynthia goes over to a lingerie shop with Latoya and Kenya, which means we have more time to play with this fun, hilarious story line, where Kenya and Latoya being flirtatious because maybe there are lesbians. Wow. So, you know, they're drinking wine and trying on lingerie and stuff. And Cynthia's trying not to be jealous. But she's like, you know, I'm trying not to be jealous right now, but I'm getting mad. Like, well, then you're jealous. You're officially jealous. Yeah. Also, you're wearing your 50 synth earrings

at the lingerie store. Like it was one thing you wore them to go venue, you know, look at the venues. It's like, okay, get it. Like it's, you're like, it's a chahill moment. But like you're not, you're just getting launched. You're just wearing, you're just wearing your own swag all the time now, aren't you?

Yeah, and so Kenya's mad that she didn't get to go to Porsche's party. And she's like, I wanted to be there. I had prepared to be there. I was in my feelings about it, but, you know, it's like we're all positive at the about things that matter to of us. Why didn't she call me? She should have called me or texted me or something.

Yeah, Kenya, well, you're a monster, first of all, and she didn't know about the party. So that's why you didn't know about the party. So That's why you didn't get a phone call. Yeah So then the best part of this scene was Cynthia modeling her Modeling her some suit and doing like a flick of her hair and then getting caught in one of the clothes racks This is so Cynthia, you know, well actually what I think was the best part about all of this and the entire episode And maybe even the season is that as they're talking about this party, you know, well actually what I think was the best part about all of this and the entire episode And maybe even the season is that as they're talking about this party, you know Candy is pretending to host it because everyone knows that if Kenya hosts it no one's really gonna come

So since candy is hosting it candy is told everyone They're we're gonna be doing a white party and you have to be there exactly 7 p.m. You cannot be late. And then it looked like Shamiya on this group text was like, was like, oh cool. Oh, I'm so bummed I can't be there. I really wanted to meet Joe Biden. She just sort of says this and Cynthia's like,

oh my God, we're gonna meet Joe Biden. And for the rest of the episode, she is convinced that they will be meeting Joe Biden. And I think that is so hilarious because it's so delusional, but it also says so much about like where she thinks like, I don't know, it's like it says a lot about someone's view of their own celebrity. You know, it's amazing. It's amazing.

So then we got a Portia's house and she's spending time with Lauren and her mom because she's gonna be writing a book called The Choney the Portia. Is that what it's called? We find that title. I don't know. I was distracted by the fact that she was making a very pedestrian salad, but the music was like,

duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh. It's like, it's a salad, everyone relax. It's a salad, okay. Ooh. And they talk basically about how, you know, Lauren brings over hot dogs, but they're not from, they're like victory hot dogs. They're not the hot dogs.

The varsity, varsity hot dogs, as opposed to Dennis hot dogs. So these hot dogs are like, you know, what is this? It's just hot dog, traitor hot dogs. Traitorists, they're traitor hot dogs. Traitoristsader hot dogs Traderus hot dogs, but they look delicious, and I really want a hot dog And porches vegan again by the way

This is the other department porches vegan again And it's the second show we get to recap in a row that talks about hot dogs I'm telling you Bravo really does it to you wait. What was the hot dog in the first one? The microwave hot dog at least for barless. You're right. I forgot. Wow. See? The dots are all connecting. They are all connecting.

So Lauren is saying that she felt kind of bad about not inviting Kenya to the surprise party because Kenya got that Rosa Parks doll and everything. And Portia says, you know, that doll, she tells us that doll was like a really nice gesture. And the producer was like, well, do you feel kind of bad for Kenya? And she's like, why would I feel bad for her? Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. I don't know why. Yeah. So then they start talking about how their step their half sisters, their father, they share a father, right? So they talk about how different it was for Lauren growing up

because she got to grow up with their dad. And Lauren's like, well, you know, I mean, he took me everywhere and then he would kiss me on the head every night before I went to sleep and before he left for work. So yeah, I mean, I got to see him a lot. And that Porsche cries about it. And yeah, it's sad.

I felt bad for Porsche. It was also interesting because she's like, I don't really have daddy issues. My only thing is that since he died when I was in high school, he wasn't around when I was like, for dating and yada, yada, yada, yada. And as a result, I wound up in these situations and that situation and that situation, I'm like, that's daddy issues. That's daddy issues, hardcore. And Miss Diane is talking about how when the dad found someone else, she goes, well, when I knew found someone else,

she goes, well, when I knew he found Lisa, I wanted them to be a happy family. And she would just call me, she would call me all the time. And then finally, she got pregnant with you, Lauren. And she would call me and ask, and I'm like, really bitch? I'm like, really bitch? To quote Kenya Moore.

Really bitch? Really bitch. And she goes, everything I did was for the betterment of the children. And listen, I just wanted someone to do my daughter's hair good. Yeah. Like this portion was over there visiting on the weekends, which I thought was so funny. She's like, I've been very nice to this woman because she could make Portia look really stupid on Sundays.

Exactly. I did actually, I felt so bad for Portia when, you know, like, I must have been so hard for, you know, like Lauren got a kiss every morning and bed. Lauren got a kiss from her dad and Portia. Portia was like, I only got to go on the weekends. I felt so bad for Portia. I love Portia. So then we go over to the day of Cynthia's party and can you're showing up in the Strip Mall, you know, party rental place that she got. And the party planner is Merlot. And she's like, how are you? And yet she's like, Oh my God, it is a chill in here.

Hashtag chill. Yeah. And then everyone, other people are getting ready for the big party. Cynthia is, Cynthia is talking to Porsche on FaceTime, et cetera. And she is still very convinced that Joe Biden is going to be making appearance a private appearance at an event space in a strip mall. And they're all excited. They're like writing around the house and Cynthia's like, well, you know, Joe Biden I'd be going.

And she'll say, yeah, yeah, we were obsessed with finding out if he was going to come. So we've been tracking him all day. And Cynthia says, yeah, I mean, it looks like he's in Michigan, but he has a private plane. So he'll be here. This is like waiting for Guffman, like the Atlanta version, the real househouse of Atlanta version. It's like waiting for Guffman to arrive. So, or waiting for Guido, if you're going to be elevated. Um, I accept I've never read or saw a waiting for G'doe, so I really don't feel comfortable making that reference. Apple Spire Access Sunshine Chi. Okay, that's my reveal. So, uh, now at the party, so now the

ice sculpture is melting, because it's not quite chill enough in there for it. And, um, uh, you know, Cynthia's on her way. She's so excited for Joe Biden, and she's because she's so excited. She's being very much on time, and everyone else is, you know, taking their suite as time. And Kenya's freaking out, because no one's answering their phones, the sculptures melting more and more and more. And it's looking like it's had a tors disaster. And you've got to love that this is a party for Cynthia to show her that Kenya didn't mean to ruin her engagement and outsmit and all that stuff.

This is all for Cynthia and it's an hour away from Cynthia's house. Yeah, exactly. It's an hour away. So the big worries are people gonna show up on time. So there's something on screen that like checks off the guest list every time they arrive. It's like, yeah. And like, how long till Cynthia arrives?

Mm-hmm. Tania's there first, of course, and sort of awkward because you know, they sort of had that weird tension and they're like, they're like, Tania's like, oh, COVID hugs, COVID hugs, which is funny because like they're pretending like they can't hug because it's coronavirus, but then later on everyone's hugging everyone. So they just didn't want to hug each other. Yeah. Um, so then, uh, can't he arrive? Soon to you, five minutes away. So everybody comes and then chill gets there and Mike sees the snow and he's like, what

is this snow? And then they come in and everyone's cheering for them. And they don't really realize that it's surprised for them. They're looking literally for Joe Biden. They're literally looking for Joe Biden. They, they, it doesn't occur to them as they pull up this parking lot that there's no security whatsoever. There's no crowds.

There's no anything. They just are like, we're just gonna walk into this drip mall. And I'm sure VP can't, a't presidential candidate Joe Biden will just be here. That's all they say. So then they get in, they're all excited that they're having this party around for them. And Cynthia, we should also mention by the way that there's like definitely a handful of people that have not arrived yet. So there's really only like four people to be like surprise. It's like kind of an awkward, like, surprise party moments. I mean, it's a strip mall party event. You know,

like, what do you really expect? And Kenya, of course, is all mad. So Kenya takes Cynthia side and or Cynthia takes Kenya side and asks her to be a bridesmaid. And Kenya cries. And then Marlo arrives and she's walking up to the party and she's like, all the way out to the boonies for a little snowman. Yeah. And so then, you know, it actually seemed kind of like a fun part of him.

It was actually very relaxed. So a candy is like a bot, like with the band singing, just random songs and stuff. And then Cynthia asks Candy to be a bridesmaid, also, and you know, Cynthia says that Candy has redeemed herself from the, you know, what happened last season, et cetera. And so then, Candy gets up on the mic to give a toast to Cynthia, you know, one of the generic things like, you're my sister, you're so good, I love you. And I'm like, why is she on a mic? There's literally seven people here. Why is she on a mic? And then Porsche finally gets there. And of course, it's in the middle of the speech. So she walks right in and she's walking up to everyone

like, hi. Hi, can you so mad? Can you get so mad? So then finally she gets here into the speech and porches like oh and it gave me a party. I thought it was so bite in I just love this this Joe Biden prank So then there's like something so Mike and Cynthia start slow dancing and Kenya's on the mic and she's like Yes, yes, yes, chill chill chill, chill, chill, yes. And Ken, he's like, oh, let me, I'll sing. I'll just sing instead. Yeah, so she makes a chill song and then everyone dances.

And of course, Mike has to, he dances with Cynthia, but like firmly grabbing, it's not just like his hands are on her ass, like who cares? It's like he always has to grab them so possessively. Something so creepy about that guy. He really does just gets right in there. So then they all sit down. The candy and porridge have like a little duet moment,

which is kind of fun. It was like a little bit of a one-upsmanship. And then they all sit down. And then the chef for the evening comes out and does a little flex, which I thought was hilarious. She's like, yeah, so I was in Dubai, cooking for the princess, and she loved this. It's a warm cauliflower salad and they'll be linguine.

I just thought I just liked that random ass flex. She's like, yeah, I thought Joe Biden was gonna be here too. That's why I took the job. Yeah. Yeah, I know. I was like, wow, that's a pretty great speech for some cauliflower and spaghetti. But that's what I was thinking.

I was like, yeah, I cooked some warm cauliflower for the princess. And it's just like cauliflower with some apple slices on the side. Yeah, but it is kind of fancy because Todd's offended and confused by it. So you know it's fancy because Todd gets his little mini cheesecake and he goes, what is this? It's cheesecake. Todd is, it just gets worse and worse in so many ways. And he has like, he, like, there's a basketball game on, so he like has it up on the table, you know, and he's like watching it.

It's just kind of like, he's like a child, like an actual child at the table, you know? Yeah, you put an iPhone in his hand, so he won't misbehave. Yeah, exactly. So then Latoya shows up like five hours late and they're all just talking and one thing we didn't talk about in the lingerie store

is that Kenya had sent Latoya a naked photo of herself. And so Latoya was like, did you guys see Kenya's sexy photo? Look, it's a naked picture of Kenya and she's like, oh, put that away. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, put of Kanye. And she's like, oh, put that away. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, put that away. And she's got it as her screen saver.

And the girls are like, what the hell is going on here? So Marla's like, so that's your screen saver. And she's like, yeah, I mean, Kanye is body goals. And Marla goes, oh, are you going to get, are you going to get ass implants too? Kanye's like like really? Girl, shut up.

So, so yeah, so they, so then Kenya is like also continuing to engage with this like pseudo lesbian story launch. It's like, there are three ladies at this table that I could get it. Parsh is not on this list. And then Parsh is like, yeah, well, I could beat her up in bed. So yeah. So then we get to the fight. Can you just like,

Parsh, did you get the gift I sent for your child? Parsh is like, yes, I did. Thank you. That was very nice. And she's like, well, it would have been nice. Or if I could have been there to present it. And she's like, well, it was a surprise. Well, this is a surprise party too. And that this is not like who I, this is not about like who I like. This is about Cynthia. And she's my sister. And I know how she feels about people.

I didn't want to make the decision for her, you know? And Portia's like, yeah, but my sister through the party. And she doesn't really know if I like you. So that's where that stands. And Ken is like, Oh, okay, blame Lauren then blame Lauren. I mean, Lauren is the one who said, don't bring Kenya. So you actually can. And Portia's like, well, we can blame it on the fact that no one knows where we stand,

you know, and then they do like a cheers to Cynthia. And I was like, yeah, Cynthia, Cynthia's like, yeah, that part is nice, but I really wanted to meet you. Yeah. Cynthia and Mike are so excited. Wasn't Joe Biden. Joe, that was nice though, but. Wow. Hey, remember when Drew used to be on the show?

Drew hasn't really been on the show. I mean, if you think about it, she came to one, didn't she only go to one group event? Yeah, she's like just on didn't she only go to one group event? Yeah. She's like just on her own, like alternate Atlanta universe. She must get into mix later on. I don't know why they would keep her as a full-time cast member. With that.

I don't know. Well, either way, so the episode ends with it's right. It's time for Raleigh to go off to college. And so they're packing her up and they are doing that thing that we'd love to see on Bravo which is rich parents packing way too much stuff for their kid to go to college. Like way doing way too much. So they basically have like bags and bags and stuff and they put it in like a U-Haul and then they take it they're going gonna drive a party bus up to NYU. Okay, yeah.

And that brings us to the end of Atlanta. Wait, we have to talk about, wait, we do have to talk about Ace crying and being adorable. Oh, Ace. We have to talk about Ace being like, I wanna go with Riley, I wanna help a queen because she doesn't like dirty stuff on hand and she didn't bring any gloves

and she doesn't know how to clean because she's so dirty. I love him. And we got a montage of Riley growing up through the years which I feel like we get every season but every season it always makes me like, Riley. Riley, our sweet Riley.

Yeah, well have fun in your dirty apartment. And your dirty apartment that's over cluttered with your own stuff. Enjoy that. They'll have, at least they'll have Kayla. It is. Hey, let's face time with Mal hey Malice Kayla hey she's Mal hey how's it going hi it's Riley oh hi Riley hey Riley can you tell Mal the story about what happened when you came over oh so funny when I oh my god you went over yeah I went over yeah she came over you came over yeah I came here okay Riley did you hear that my sister had to put a bunch of

snake off around her house cuz it's. I hope someone told her that that probably means a snake will be in her house. Yeah, because then if snakes are not allowed to live by the lake, they're gonna go live in a house. That's what I said to my sister. That's because that's what snakes do. Yeah. Yeah. Do snakes clean? I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Two snakes clean. I don't know. Well, that brings us to the end of real housewives of Atlanta. Everybody, thank you so much for being with us today.

We will be back tomorrow with some PoloDick. And in the meantime, you got some free time. Go get your ticket for the 2021 crappies. Find the tickets and the voting ballots over at WatchWatCrapins.com. January 21st, 6pm Pacific, 9pm Eastern. We sure love you guys. It's gonna be so fun, we'll talk to you on the next episode. Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors.

Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniela. Itch-O-L. Let's rent some errands with Emily Eryans. Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Alva Nagila Weber. Jamie, she has no less Mamie.

Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Jess saying, okay. She's a little bit loony. Juni. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Higher than Hyrez. She's Lauren Perez.

Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the bug. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan lettuce. He makes us squeezy. Richie Dee. The Bay Area Betches. Betches. And our super premium sponsors sponsors Nancy sees him to

Cisco better than taboo Lee it's Annie and Julie let's give him a kiss It's Austin and Marissa somebody get us 10 C's C's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We will we will Joanna Rockland you the incredible edible Matthew Sisters let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender no one makes us feel well like Megan Capsiwell Mina Kuchikuchi Kuchikuchi give him hell miss Noel Shannon out of a cannon Anthony let's get racing with Miss Daisy let's take off with Tamela Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Poochar! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music,

download the Amazon Music app today. Or, you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts, before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. Go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at 1dry.com slash survey.