Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC: Shah-Plea Ever After

Episode Date: January 12, 2023

The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City (S3E14) season finale is upon us, and all the pressing questions will be... not answered. But that's okay. It's still a chaotic mess, which is this franchise's brand!Watch us record this episode with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/77121003?pr=trueSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch What Crap In, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker here on a very important and exciting day for the crap in Bravo and humanity world.

It is the season finale of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City day. And here joining me as always is my wonderful and beautiful co-host who is innocent on all counts of being a good person. Although wait, does that make you, are you being charged with being, if you are being charged with being a bad person, then guess what? He is innocent. And if he's being charged with being a great person, then he is guilty. It's Mr. Ronnie Caram.

Hi Ronnie. How are you? Hi, I'm guilty as hell. I'm a bad bad bitch man. He's a bad batch. I'm a bad You're a bad batch. So welcome everyone Hello to everyone who's on crap is on demand is a crap is on demand episode Which means you can watch us record the episode go to patreon.com slash watch what happens And sign up at that level crap is on demand level to watch us on video. Hello, hello, hello, Ronnie's wearing a

beautiful yellow shirt. Beauty layers behind him. I am blown out in a cloud, but I'm wearing a nice beautiful sweater that I'm very happy with. So you can go check all that out plus more. We also have a weekly bonus episode on Patreon. This week we're going to be doing a trailer breakdown of Vanderbump Rules. If you're wondering what about the New Jersey trailer breakdown, that's most likely going to be next week. But also, more importantly, in case you missed the news yesterday, we have new tour dates.

They went on pre-sale yesterday. They're going on general foresale this Friday at 10 a.m. local to whatever the venue is. And in case you missed any of the announcements about any sort of tour, here are the cities really quickly. If you hear your city first, do a little jig. Second, get on to the internet, buy yourself some tickets. Here we go. We've got Austin, Dallas, Phoenix, Los Angeles

for the Golden Crappies. Very excited. We're already starting to line up guests. I guarantee this is going to be an amazing show. Biggest venue we've ever had, the Wilton Theatre. I mean, I literally saw Madonna there. I don't know what we're doing there, but we're there. So come see us. Charlotte, Atlanta, Denver, Salt Lake City, our first time going there, I'm very excited about that. We may or may not have someone there. Seattle, San Francisco, Toronto, we haven't been there yet.

Philadelphia, New York City, DC, and then here are the new dates that just went on pre-sale yesterday, going on full-sale on Friday. By the way, the pre- pre sale code is crap and it's 2023. San Diego, St. Paul, Chicago, and Columbus, Ohio. So be sure to get your tickets. And who knows who knows what else might be coming down the pike on that schedule. But for right now, who does? Who does now?

You know, Ronnie, you never do know about life, do you? You never know. When never knows. When never knows, go to watchacrapids.com for tickets, by the way, I didn't even mention that, but if you want to buy tickets, that's what you do. And that's that. That's how to do it, y'all.

That's how to do it. Yes, oh my God, this has been a crazy busy week. There's so much going on on Bravo. Like just today or just this week already, there have been like 18 recapthruve posted, but I have to say I have not felt as sad as I am today. Poor Jen Shaw. I mean, watching this episode, everything that Jen is going through. I mean it really just, you know, it really hurts. It hurts me deeply. She didn't do anything. And I believe in her.

She didn't have this. She didn't have this. How dare you spend half an episode trying to make me cry for Jen Shaw. Are you fucking kidding me? I know you just edited this like last week because you've already got the little place card in there saying how long she got sentence to. Cut the shit, okay, cut the shit, thanks. I don't know, I have a different perspective. I, Bravo knows, everyone knows she's guilty. This was Bravo just putting it all out there and saying, look at this lady trying to punk us all.

Look at this sad attempt to try to punk us all. So I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the sob story because it's like, you're going to jail. You're guilty. You said you're guilty. You're going to jail. This is bullshit.

We all know it's bullshit. This was to me, a big wink and fuck you by Bravo. Cause it makes her look so bad. They intentionally made her look so bad because she just, they just revel in this big lie that she has. And now she's going off to the big house, which also by the way, it reminds me,

Duel Hello is coming back. It's on One Dree Plus. Go check it out on your podcast, like, thing. Oh yes. And we should also announce, even though we're into the show now, so sorry to do this late. But if you are listening to us on Apple Podcast, some of you think that we're like you have to subscribe just to hear a normal episode.

All these recaps are still free. These Bravo housewives and stuff. We still do five free shows a week. But the way that Apple lists them is they list a subscription version and they list a free version. The free version has commercials, the subscription free one doesn't, but some of you are getting pissed off at us thinking we're trying to like force you, we're not. Okay, if it says subscription, just check there's another version that's free. Okay, we'll see if you can get that fixed, but just for right now, no.

Then what about what I'm going through? Okay. and the free, okay? We'll see you get up and get that fixed, but just for right now, no. Then what about with ongoing through? Okay. Take it up with Apple Podcasts, that app is a bit jenky. So apologies if they're for confusion with that, but the perks of being a subscriber as you do get access to dwell hello.

So that's also fun. Anyway, Jen Shaw, I'm not my son, I'm not my son. I'm not my son. Yeah, this is an episode that was basically 20 minutes long and then they ended the season and then they attacked on all this afterschool drama about Jen Shaw, where she just continued to fucking lie and be a victim and sob and then Heather continued to be a victim, like

a long suffering friend that would do anything to support her friend. Like none of you had a fucking clue at this point in shooting, come on ladies, I invite it. Well I'll tell you what made me the most angry about this episode, and it was not Gen Shaw. It was Bravo who had dangled this moment with Dana and Gen Shaw all season long. It was in the trailer where basically Dana goes off on Gen Shaw. And it's like, I forget what she said, even though I just found the clip again this morning.

But Dana goes off on Gen Shaw. And it looks like it's supposed to, it happens at the Bad Mormon party. And it is nowhere to be found. I don't know why that is. I, I, maybe they wanted to have more screen time for the New York, the New York shit, but that's bullshit. You can't give us a beautiful morsel like that and have me waiting all season long being like, don't worry, Dan is about to explode.

We're gonna have that Dan a moment. Dan is gonna be great. And then they don't have it. And it also suck for Dana because now everyone's like, Dana's lame. But it's like, Dana actually probably had an amazing moment and they wouldn't let us see it it's not fair. Kind of but it's also like come I mean it would have been good to see that I'm glad we got to see it in the preview but Dana is kind of lame and like the only thing she really

has is coming after Jen for all of this stuff which we already know so it's like it doesn't it means nothing to me coming from somebody who's not involved. You know, if it was someone like Heather, or at least someone in the core group who's like been buying it and then they decide, now listen, I'm not buying it anymore. They just can't make it work with these late editions

and bad actors. You know, Dan is just not a good actor and Angie Kay is just terrible. And she really tries it today. But I can't buy this like, oh, now you've evolved to the point where you just don't believe Jen anymore, and now you're gonna confront her about it.

What are you doing? And why are you dressed like a catering table at a wedding? Like she's wearing the craziest, it's all folded like catering napkins, it's like fan folded, it looks like it's made from the material that they make the table class in the country club girl. I actually thought that Angie Kay was pretty good.

I'm actually a little surprised she wasn't a full-fledged housewife because her storyline and her issues were sort of at like full cast member level. And I mean, she was ridiculous, you know, the way she fought back and forth in terms of being friends with Jen and not being friends,

but that's what they all do on this show. I was surprised, and I think that kind of speaks to maybe one of the faults of this season was maybe like some sort of lack of direction from the showrunner point of view, maybe from production. I felt like production was a little unfocused. Like they should have actually,

they should have developed NGK from the beginning. Like they should have actually, they should have developed Angie K from the beginning. Like it took like five or six episodes before Angie K seemed to really even have an impact on the show. And Dana should have been fleshed out so she felt like not just this weird side character that came on the trip. It just, I don't know what was going on this season.

I enjoyed the season, but I think all of these areas that feel strange or it's like, oh, we keep on saying it's the audition season, but it think all of these areas that feel strange, or it's like, oh, we keep on saying it's the audition season, but it feels like it's the audition season because I don't think the producers did a good job of actually making these women feel like they were more textured than they are. Not that there's that much texture when it comes to them and definitely not on their foreheads. Zing! Yeah, I don't think the producers need to make you seem textured. when it comes to them and definitely not on their foreheads. Zing! Zoooo!

Yeah, I don't think the producers need to make you seem textured. I think you're just textured or you're not textured. You know what I mean? Like your wall is either orange peel or it's not. Like there's no, like let's try to make it seem orange peel. Well like a star's faux finishing. So maybe they could have done something like that. But in general, it's just bad casting.

Now Andy promised in a tweet or somewhere, I don't know, I saw somewhere, or I heard from Sasholm of the odds. Andy has said, oh my God, the next season, wow, the casting is amazing for net daven. Which, listen, it's very difficult for me to believe, Andy Cohen, it's like when somebody in charge of government's, like, lust acts is, okay, sure buddy, who's sure?

You know, I never believe him because he's a specs person for the empire. But yeah, you, they know. In other words, they know. There was something was right. But I feel like, I mean, they're gonna, I still feel like this is not a sinking ship. It's doing just fine.

I think they just had a little bit of a convoluted direction for the season. And that's it. So anyway, I want it to be, I love that it's a syncing ship. This show is a syncing ship. And it has been since the second it started. That's the point of this show. This shows never on solid ground. It's completely loony tuned.

It's like it's taking place in a completely different country. Nobody has any control over it. They just sent a couple of PAs out there with iPhones. We're like, just make something happen. Just get some ladies together. Let's see what happens. That's what I like about this show. It's the very, you know, come on, let's put on a show. So it's a sinking ship, I think. It could die at any moment. And that's what it has to include. Glued to the television. Well, I mean, I do like, I do like the threat of like complete collapse and chaos. But yeah, I mean, I think there are many seasons left in it. Me too. And it will always be a sinking ship.

You have something on your camera there. I do. It was on my camera, but it's right next to it. And you know, it's just, I know I'm just gonna see at the whole time it be so furious with myself. I'm a Virgo and I should know better. You know what you're taking charge, taking charge and fixing a situation. Wow.

So I'm in charge of my life. And yes, I defried at 70 year olds and stole their life. What the fuck with this show? Well, I'll tell you who else is in charge, Heather. She's taking charge of her life and her destiny and her book because she is doing a party to celebrate the a cover for her book. So it's like, it's a party to celebrate marketing.

And so it really is. It's a PR party. And I love that it starts with her party planner who can't just be named Megan. She has to be Megan because it's not like city, you know, nobody can just spell Megan, you know, God forbid So literally God and God literally probably did forbid it He was like in Utah no one will spell their name correctly I want a double G on that Megan so Megan's like oh my god

It's the author of the hour and it just literally, because you all come out with so many books. Yeah. It's like an hourly thing. Like Jesus Christ. Like, I don't want to go to church. I'm going to write a book about it. I mean, for Christ's academic, made millions. Yeah. So, um, yeah. So Megan is there. They're going through this event space and talking about this like a week of decals here and put the signage here and do this here and yada yada yada and Heather is like I remember when I first got the email talking to me about a

possible book which is funny because I spent most of the seasons saying I don't remember anything about anything but I've been working on it for over a year on the email and returned. I just don't know if I want to say yes, I want to write it. So anyway, we finally have an actual cover and it's a big deal. Yeah. I remember this space because you guys use it for every party scene, okay?

And this is the same space. I'm like, is Meredith gonna hire a model to stand on the top step of the fucking pool? Like, this is the same place. Do you guys think we're stupid? Is that what happened? Are we gonna be performing there? I know, Seth.

I would love that. I would love if we could perform from the second step of that pool. Ha, ha, ha, I know. I feel like every event space on set, like every event space in every restaurant looks exactly the same. There's all variations on on Kuchina Tuscana or that rooftop pool thing where people jumped in. But I think it's literally the same place, don't you?

I don't know. They all look the same to me. I haven't seen the show Severance, but I'm pretty sure it's about these spaces, right? Everything I see is like, oh look, they're at the event space in Salt Lake City. Yeah, I think Salt Lake City is like, you sound not suit here. So they have like three spaces within a block that they shoot. You know, that's what it looks like.

So yeah, so there's that going on. And then everyone's getting ready. The taskwifestials have to getting ready part. So Seth is lying in bed watching Meredith and he's like, uh, is there a thing? I was like, well, I'm telling you, man, that's not, I'm telling the team to keep that zipper up, mister. Seth is like, is there a title?

Well I was thinking it could just be called Meredith Fain. So why, being sad. No, no, for Heather's book. Oh, well, I don't know, I don't really care about it. I think it's all for family. Thanks for family and to Connellaman. No, Heather's book. Well, there never was a conversation either way

about Brooks' sexuality. No, not about raising children. She's not even trying to come up with a catchy title anymore. It's just Brooks never decided about his sexuality and that's his business. And that's what I say by Meredith Marx. I believe Heather's new book title, I don't really know, but if it were me, I would call it excommunicated, miscommunicated and unrepresented. Oh, can't do the three right still after all these years. And he's like, well, the title is bad Mormon.

That is such an impulse by for me at the airport. Yeah, with everybody wants to read on the beach. Somebody not liking being a Mormon. Oh, this is fascinating. Oh my God. She's wearing Granny panties now. I can't believe it. This is something.

Hey, Meg, did you read the chapter about the Bolero jacket? Oh my God. Oh my God. Send me over to Lisa's. She's like, thanks for the tea, John. Oh my God. I hope I can sing tonight. I can really hear myself. What?

You're hilarious, John. You are so funny. So then now Justin and Whitney are sitting around in like Pinkatai die kind of things. And Justin's like, so is tonight, is it going to be like church hymns because I may have some PTSD about, hey, you can't take my storyline. Sorry, sorry, but other hymns. Yeah. Oh, so cocktail, sorry, but other hymns. Yeah Oh, so cocktail attire, but also hymns. Yeah Yeah, well it doesn't make any sense, but I audition for the choir

But everything that's happened with Heather and then I decided I don't have time to be in the choir Nor do I want to be in the choir nor do I want to be in the choir But I want to support her because it's her healing is camera still going on yet Whitney we're still rolling Okay, I'm almost done with my eyeliner. It's like God Can you just get out the fucking line with me come on? It's your third season for Christ's sake! Just write it down for Whitney, please. Well, I had to leave the choir because it was hard for me to take phone calls in it

because I'd risk people's lives like last year when Mary tried to call me when I was doing choir pool and then I was like, I can't take your call because I'm in the choir right now. Whitney, that's... car. Never mind. Don't write it down for Whitney anymore. We tried that. We'll try something next season.

Try something new. So Justin's like, well, props to you for being so supportive of a friend, babe. No props to you, Justin. Props to you for having the nerve to wear that on national television. What is that? You look like a, my little pony got melted and splatted all over a window. What are you wearing?

It's literally what it was. They literally melted my little ponies on a tarp and he slid over it. And I had to just about to add the chalk that's off. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, So Heather is now at the bad Mormon event. We're already starting with the event. And she's ordering a drink from the bartender and she's like, I want tonight to be conflict-free. And if there is a conflict, I would like to occur right in front of my bad Mormon cover poster, please, because if it doesn't go my way, at least I'm fully prepared to exploit

it. And I was like, what didn't, there's nothing that Leah Black said on Miami once when she was like, well, I got these bags. And I hope that if they're gonna have a fight, they do it with my bags and in, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Look at our bartender for the evening. I guess I better get acquainted with you because I'm gonna be an outer darkness before you know it. And they're like lady, like the Mormon church so much.

We don't know that. I think we don't know. We literally don't. You're literally an adult. He decided she didn't wanna go to church anymore. Okay. Calm down. You can have a fucking drink.

Literally sun in everyone's eyes at this party. There's Farthest thing from outer darkness. We're like really outer blindness from sun Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parents life, but come on rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there.

We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, um, so yeah, so then people start arriving as like the here come the beauty lab employees and here comes an GK. Hi, I am here.

You know, it's funny that I'm in this choir. I sing good in the shower, but you know, it's not the same and then we see her singing at home going, God be with us till we meet again. And I can give you an invoice for $15,000 that you owe me for the God party. I had in my living room. Could you imagine, I wish God was a housewife.

Jesus would be like, hey, remember all those fishes and loaves I multiplied for you? Jelt you, thankless mother fuckers, line up to pay. Line up to pay. Just because I turn water into wine doesn't mean it's free, pay up bitches. Yeah, they're service involved. Okay. Um, so just because I turn water into wine, doesn't mean it's free. Pay up bitches. Yeah, there's service involved. Okay.

Doesn't do I not get a tip? Hello. So she comes to the party. She's like, oh my God, Heather, hi. I haven't spoken to you since the day cares, Sean. Like how are you, Heather? And Heather says, you know what? I'm just like, this is great.

I'm just planning a cool evening with friends who are celebrating. You know, and Angie just looks at her and blinks. She is. You know, she's like, yeah, we could do that. We could do that. I'm gonna call Jen Shaw's Suicide Storyline fake. So that'll be fun.

Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. I wore my best shoulder horns for the occasion So then Lisa shows up she's like hi guys. Hi Justin Hi Hi waiter who just learned about outer darkness Hi pool Hi guy who just put hello Bad Mormon up on the window. Hi carpet cleaner.

Hi table setter. Hush. Hush. Spider that laid eggs and hathers eye. She really does do that politician thing where she says, hi to everybody by name. It really makes people it feel important when you're saying their names, which I, I can never do. I never can do it. Even with my neighbors.

I'm like, hi, guy that begins with a J and other guy, like what? I don't remember. It's too early. Okay. Do you use their last name? Do you do like a formal or like, hi, Mr. Francisco? No, I, I, I get I'm confused sometimes because they're both Jay's and they're both Gays. They're about Jay Gays. Jay's Gays. Jay's Gays. So yeah, she's like, hi, hi, tablecloth.

Oh, that was to your dress and she knocked to you. But now, hi, I'm Jay. And she goes, oh, Heather, hi, Heather. Heather, is that you in the line? I like when she makes that voice and she's being hilarious. I like when she makes that voice and she's being hilarious. I like when she makes that voice and she's being hilarious.

I like when she makes that voice and she's being hilarious. I like when she makes that voice and she's being hilarious. I like when she makes that voice and she's being hilarious. I like when she makes that voice and she's being hilarious. I like when she makes that voice and she's being hilarious. I like when she makes that voice and she's being hilarious. I like when she makes that you have a black eye. That she has a black eye, everyone. Can I touch? Can I touch? Yeah, I like your hair because the eye is better. I'm gonna keep saying, I until you say something about the eye.

Hi, hi. And Heather's like, the black eye is gone, just like the memory of the black eye. I was like, oh no, I don't think the memory's gonna go by the other people wanting to know about the black eye. Heather. Yeah, and Heather's like, well, I don't think the memory is gonna go by, he had the people wanting to know about the black eye. He had the, yeah. And that there's like, well, I just didn't wanna make it the main issue.

And Lisa says to us, well, if you didn't want the attention diverted from your black eye, sometimes by the way, Lisa does this thing where she puts a comma in the wrong place because she goes, if you didn't want the attention diverted from your black eye, just say what happened. I will all move on. It's like a big game for Heather.

And she's like, well, I know, but they mean that's a strange laugh for us. So then Whitney shows up like, blink, blink, and Heather's like, wow, I'm really glad that Whitney could show up, but it's Tainted. It's Tainted. I mean, it's not like I can count on her for anything anymore. I hope we can get back to that place.

Yeah, wow. That Tainted support that when someone shows up at a, they're unveiling of a, he's of a poster of what your book will look like someday in the in the future. It's changing. Yeah, it's changing guys. So everyone's hugging hugging Angie H. Hex people, Dan Hugs people, Heather Hugs people

all come in. And then yeah, Heather and her, you know, Volkswagen van full of cousins come in and she's like, oh my God, guys, excuse me, those are my cousins. Oh, not you with me. The other side of the family. Yeah. Yeah. These are my people. These are my family. These are the people who showed up on my ski day and I talked to them for about five minutes. These are the people. Okay. And it means the world to me that they showed up Yeah, and they showed up for me while I'm writing a book called bad Mormon It just means the world to me that they would be interested in what I'm doing with my life. Thank you

I'm tainted side of the family. Thank you And NGK do you have a monologue that you may have prepared in the car right over to this event? I do. Thank you. Tonight is Easter at midnight, and I'm waking up today in honor of Greek Easter. Oh, wait, I know what Easter is because that's a restarting as a resurrection. It's where it nags talking by these marshmallow jacks. Yeah, yes, that is correct. I've had my eyes. I know what these are. You know what it is. Thank you, Lisa. I know what these are.

Thank you, Lisa. I love you, sir. I love you, sir, too. OK, I've had my eggs. I mean, my eyes and my eggs open to Jen. And I'm definitely planning on talking to Jen tonight because Jen is putting out there to people and suggesting that I'm the one that's responsible for the eye.

Yeah, after the fashion show, a friend pulled my friend Jake aside and said, don't get too close to edgyk because she's the one that punched Heather in the eye. And if she's trying to put rumors out there and make me look bad to make herself look better. That's not something I am even capable of doing. That's not something I'm even capable of. And remind me what the story is. I like this little classic eggs that you pop open and there's like a Charlie Venture in them! I love how she, like, the setup for this is about that squeaky stir. Like, he has risen and so have my eyelids. Now I can see, Genshin.

She's terrible at this. It's so funny. You guys, you know Easter? Think yeah. Well, Genshin told everyone I gave her a black eye. I like what the whey. I have opened up the Cadbury Cream Egg, and on the inside, I have discovered it is not all chocolate, it is some strange white goo, much like the trust that I have in Gencha.

Yeah, I didn't really get it either, but it was very funny because she's just so serious, like she's trying so hard right and so Whitney's even kind of laughing She's just smiling in that wide-eyed way that she has and she's like why do you think Jen is doing this? She's like once Jen has turned on you or feels you have crossed her She will forever be out to get you. And she's been the violent one. She's been the aggressive one. Guess what? Just like on Easter, everyone is saying that Heather and Jen were in Jen's room doing Barbie Cicero kicks.

And then Judas came in and beat the shit out of Jesus because he didn't like the Cicero kicks. No, we still... Can we do Cicero kicks? Oh, okay. kids. Listen, listen, I say this because I feel that all of you are my peeps and I say that because it is Greek Easter coming up a time for peeps and I want you to know, Cesar kicks can happen between women who are about to punch each other in these eyes.

Anyone following this? None of this, she is so crazy It's Easter to Barbikix anyone anyone see the through line here. What don't you understand? It's Easter with Philo dough What is confusing here? Have ever had a Cadbury cream egg wrapped in phyllo and filled with feta cheese instead? It is delicious. Just like Judas and Jesus fought about before Judas betrayed him.

Is goat cheese better than feta? Go, that's easier people. What are you not getting in this group? So if you ever had a peep with Tatsuki on it, that is my experience. Gricky stuff. So Whitney is like, but wait, what do you mean by Barbie sister kicks? Like they're having a relationship and she goes, well, let's just say having a sexual relationship and roping and bumping and giving her a black eye in the end, because maybe you didn't like

the bump in the grind and maybe someone wasn't good in bed. Maybe somebody didn't like the eggs in their scissor basket. Says Dars. What I am trying to say is that there is not only violence but bad sex. It is terrible in all different ways. And then Lisa, okay, by the way, just like in case there are any of those beings out there who aren't completely mortified by this right now. Or humans or human beings, because this is ridiculous. At least it's like, I don't think I like this visual. Like Heather and Jen and she puts out her arms straight and she goes, like, how does that work? And she just starts like directing air traffic control. Like, I don't know what she's doing. It's to be fair, at least.

To be fair, I'm not sure many of these women know how to actually use just regular scissors. The woman sex you fucking morons, all of you. To be fair, I'm not sure many of these women know how to actually use just regular scissors. So like to have to force them to visualize, scissors ring is difficult. Wait, scissors, is that the thing where you hold the sharp thing and try to hammer nails with the two round circles? No, Whitney, that's not how you use scissors. I drove my kids to school and my scissors. No, you didn't. That's a sign on. It's a discontinued Toyota.

So she's like, well, okay, this is what scissors ring is. It's when two girls, Okay, this is what scissors ring is. It's when two girls, two girls come together naked, heels on, heels off, and you know they do this. And when he's like, but wait. Gricky's very good. And then a child finds an egg in a bush. So that Whitney is like, that's a rumor and then she goes, that's a rumor. So Jen said, and then John enters all smiling and when he said, when he's like, they, you know, they do say that every female is three shots away from being a lesbian. So, okay, here's the gun. Shoot away. No, and it doesn't mean like that. Not that kind of shot.

Well, I can't say that there are glimmers of hope that I could move forward with Jen, but Jen's not well. And so Jen's like, hi. Hi. And Sharif is like, hi Meredith, we're gonna come right back, sweetie. We have to have a conversation real fast. So they walk up to Angie and Chris. And Chris, Angie's just like holding Chris. It's like, I gotta feel something now.

What a waste of flesh and hair this man is. What an absolute whos of a man. Okay, so Shaw and Jen come up and Angie Herrington is like, Oh, I'm so glad we have the opportunity to see you both tonight because we've been wanting to talk to you guys. We've really been wanting to, which is why you haven't heard from us at all about this. I never. Since we started this, but we'll do it on camera.

Yeah, we'll wait to, we'll try to avoid you as long as we possibly can, but now we're both at the season finale party, so it's going to happen. So Sharif is like, well, the things that were done and what was put up in order for me to find a path of reconciliation forgiveness, I need to hear from you. And so Chris goes, well, thank you for being willing to meet with us. My heart, it had, sorry, sorry, sorry.

I'm so sorry, I love that he starts the fake tears. Oh my god And Angie's like I think what he's trying to say is that as personal as it felt it with not personal and I I understand and I think that we both understand right Chris Chris Do you want to juice Chris? Chris, stop. Stop, stop, Chris. Do you want your juice box? Yes, please. Does anyone have any air cleanx for Chris's air tears?

That would be great. If we could get some of those over here, that would be great. Now I understand why it would feel so personal. And Chris is like, of course we would. It's your family name. You went on and made a fake fucking account, dude. Like how are you acting like what? I know it's not prison. I know it feels prison, but it's really not. It's called shot. And by the way, I love this account was also to troll

Lisa to troll Lisa, right? And there's not a single apology for Lisa for actually trolling her. So then Shreve was because Lisa got over it. And Jen Shaw is kind of known. Isn't Jen Shaw accused of having all these troll accounts that she goes after people for it because it's been brought up season after season. And she misspelled the same words, you know, they did like forensic housewives discovery. Jen Shaw has so many troll accounts that she goes and calls people names with and she uses against people. And so now and Sharif knows this.

And so the fact that Sharif is standing there right now like, I need an apology where I can never move a troll account. How dare you when he's standing next to a, literally blocking a bridge's pathway, you know? Oh, I got it, I see what you did there. I mean, come on. So of course, like doing the full body shake cry, we're gonna, and so, Shreve is like, thank you, I accept your apology.

And they hug and everyone's hugging and everyone's happy and crying and everything is good for them, everything worked out. So now, it's time to quiet her eyes. She's like, oh, yes, I'm so glad you're making a top shot up. That's infuriating on the week of her sentencing. This isn't infuriating to watch, I can't with her. Go ahead, Ben.

So now the choir performance can start soon. So, um, a cousin is like walking with Heather. Heather's now changed into like her choir robe. And the cousin's like, you look beautiful by the way. And Heather's like, really, not too slutty. And I'm like, you're in a choir robe. It's like the most, it's the least slutty thing you could ever wear in your life. least slutty thing you could ever wear in your life. So now the choir gets up to sing and wow. You brought it to your to my eye.

Yeah, it brought even close captioning. If you turn on close captioning, captioning it just says, ow with like 30 W's. Okay, it's all they're showing. It's like, Oh, amazing. It's a great, it's a sweet, it's a great, it's a great,

it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great,

it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, it's a great, Did you ever practice? Your only song is amazing Grace. You guys never even practiced. That was your one episode with this choir at that practice where Heather wasn't even singing. Listen, they were very impressive. They did four-part disarmament. I liked it. They all had their own track and they just went for it. To be able to offend the ears of that many breeds of a dog. You know what I mean? But also, you can't do this to us. You can't do this to us on a gay friendly channel. You can't say, hey guys, we're putting together a choir as if we all haven't seen Sister Act, okay? And then expect us to sit through this tripe, okay? You better have something

good. Copy Sister Act. I don't care. Get up there and think of 50s oldie and make it good. Get a Kathy and a Jimmy in there and make this shit sparkle. What's Lauren Hill doing these days? Bring her back. Get her on there, you know? Yeah, make an effort. Reboot it. So, um, so then, uh, Lisa tells us, am I on key? I can't even tell. I have no idea, am I on key. I know a lot of other people aren't. I'm like, I'm gonna say you're not on key, considering you're seeing like this.

Oh my God, my grace. Hi, Grace. Lisa wasn't even singing along to the correct words. Like Lisa didn't even learn the fucking words They're like amazing grace and she's doing like the bad dub late. She's doing it. It's like seconds late So she Jen is like she's singing. Shum-me-thing, great! That sweet shun is what about what I'm going through? And so everyone's like, yay! And Heather's like, thank you, choir.

You know, we are here to celebrate this book, so I've been thinking a lot about what it means to me and the changes I've been through for the past few years And I thought of some scripture and I just want to say the scriptures from John something or another and it's like be a good friend or something And that's what my intention has always been is to be a ride or die for every single person that ever met in my entire life or die for every single person that ever met in my entire life. And if I'm a bad Mormon, I hope I can still be a good friend to everybody except with me. Then Lisa. I hope I could be a good friend to everyone who's not a Mormon.

Can I have a bad Mormon? Thank you to thank you all to coming to my book, that's not written yet, my book that's not written yet opening, it's not open yet about leaving a religion. I'd like to thank you all with this Bible quote from that religion. Okay What's the branding for this? Making me pray through a speech at your non-religious ceremony. What the fuck is this? I just I just want to say to everyone, that's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight, losing my religion, everyone.

And the words from my Bible, this is from book, Ronda chapter 302. You kids better shut the fuck up or I'm putting you up for adoption. Thank you for coming everybody. Thank you. So everyone, is everyone ready to see the official cover of the book? That's someone at Simon & Schuster sent me his name I think is Mark and he sent me a beautiful PDF. It does say draft on it, but just pretend it's not there.

Okay, ready? Here we go. And she takes like the curtain off of her poster board and there's the cover of the book. Bad Mormon. Yeah, we've all seen the cover of Prime House. She's in like a blazer. She's holding a book and she's holding the book of Mormon And she's going like this and she goes for a devout Mormon this cover is sacrilegious

Blasphemous and terribly of him you are literally covered from head to toe What do you there's not because you're holding the book of Mormon? There's worse and you're profiting off of this. I don't know how I feel about any of this right now. This feels like, this feels like, I have a problem with religion, money grabs, and now I'm having a problem with anti-religion money grabs. I think that your thing is that you don't like money grabs that are, she, they're under the guise of doing something

that's more high-minded or special like that. And it's like I'm a rolic for doing this, you know. Right, that's what takes you off. Because if someone said, yeah, I'm gonna cash in on my experience, you'd be like, hell, yeah, do it. I once did it when I was at the bowling alley when I was 15, but like if someone says, I'm doing this because I wanna make a change,

you're like, that's a money grab I know that because I do that when I was the bowling line when I was 15 Okay, I'm point taken no, but I it's not a it's not a read. It's it's actually like totally fair because it's an actually Very accurate reading authentic like that. Yeah, just yeah, it's it's giving me the wrong It's not making me feel the feels, you know It's grossing me out basically, but very good read. I love you It wasn't supposed to be a read it was just like I don't mean I mean I don't mean no way I don't mean a read in in the like

The sense of like oh that was the read. I mean like that was a very good read on me So thank you. Yeah, it was actually Yes, in the traditional sense. I really mean, I love you. Thank you for knowing me. So you're a good woman. You may be a bad woman, but you're a good bad. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I should be a bad woman because I'm Jewish. So Heather is basically like, I'm going to reveal all the secrets in this book. Okay, I'm putting a cover, my cover, my book.

And that's why I'm seeing, seeking grace and support for those who aren't offended by it and who want to buy it as an impulse by the airport. Got your Seth. Got your set. You are gonna have to buy it. No freak out be for you. Seth's rubbing his taint on the poster. Seth, back away from my poster, please.

Now, when do we get one from Whitney called Bab Braw person? his taint on the poster. Seth, back away from my poster, please. Now, when do we get one from Whitney called bad bra person? Yeah, more bra. So, Lisa's like, I mean, it's a great cover. I'm just wondering what's going inside. And Angie Kay says there is nothing like being invited to a book party with no books for sale, like Easter.

And Lisa goes, I mean, it's like having a Vita Tequila party with no Tequila. That's crazy. It's like a fashion show with no Vita. Vita walks in. She's like, did someone call me because I have some pre time on my hands. Like Vita, a little rascal. Vita by Vita Ray.

Vita tequila. Every time you take a shot, the bottle just calls you fat. You got pay sports? Vita got pay sports? So Whitney is like, oh, I see what you're saying, Vita together. We have Vita from Shaz. Thank you.

You are a bad doctor. You are a bad doctor. We were committed to separate bravo cross references. So, uh, so what is it? So Jan and I literally haven't talked since the trip because Jan and Whitney hugged to say hello and she goes, Jan and I literally haven't talked since the trip and I feel like we took a few steps back in San Diego We're just funny because I don't think anyone watched that episode and ever thought like wow Jen and Whitney are in trouble now. Yeah, or I never thought wow they're close or wow they're in trouble

I just thought wow there they go yelling and lying again, you know Yeah, and then she's like yeah I felt we took two step backwards and then it cuts to the clip of Junkwing. Hi, I think I'm in suicide. Is that what you want to know? Because you want to dig, digger, you want to keep on digging with me? Marilyn Monroe with your shovel. And hit the Marilyn Monroe party.

That was quite a reveal. So with you, so I'm Charcuterie place. Never forget. Charcuterie for dinner. Just as Marilyn Monroe. So with these like- That's the trap. At the trap, I felt we went into it in a good place. But then it flipped.

When you got with Heather and then the group, it felt like a gang- And my house never even got remodeled But like why did they look the same cuz you twins with me. Yeah, it's just like Easter. I'm gonna say that right now Yes, I would like to join this conversation. Okay, at Greek Easter Greek Easter is a week after non GreekGreek Easter, and you know what? I'm telling you this because it's been a week since San Diego, okay? So yeah, Angie comes over and she's like, I do help talking to Jen and Dan is like, I'll go with you So they go over and Jen's like, well, Whitney, I had no idea you felt like that. I mean, I thought it was obvious that the property brothers were twins

And I thought it was obvious that that's a were twins and I thought it was obvious that's a different show than Flip or Fop which is Christina who divorced Taric because he went crazy and ran through the forest with the gun after having a mental breakdown. What's going on would you witness? But like where's my dream house? No that was about lottery winners. It's not even you. Okay so Angie's like and just like okay, so Jen is actually trying to have a conversation with Whitney, and Jen is actually surprisingly chill. Like Whitney is saying, like, I thought we took two steps back, and Jen's like, I didn't

have an issue with you. But then everyone flocks over, so then Angie interrupts and is like, okay, Jen, let's stop talking about the trip for a moment, and then Jen's okay, Jen, let's stop talking about the trip for a moment and then Jen's like, let me finish up, which is, okay, we'll wrap it up, wrap it up. And she's like, I was talking to Whitney and everyone just jumped over here. I'm trying to be respectful to Whitney. I'm finished this conversation, okay?

She's like, Jen, you are spreading eggs. Colored eggs all over the city. Children are confused. They're not finding the eggs, Jen. The eggs are riding the streets are smelling. What are you even talking about right now? Jen, I just popped in a DVD and you know what I was told that there are actual Easter eggs in the DVD. You have infected all forms of entertainment. You are spreading rumors that I went around and gave Heather a black eye and then we get the top chef She and

Just like when did that's a lie? Just you didn't say anything about me being responsible or giving Heather a black eye I didn't say one thing about you giving her a black eye. That's not even true So we should come over here, so we like, God, you're calling Sharif over. So Angie's fired up and she's like, the season finale, I'm gonna go big or go home. What could possibly go wrong? So she's like, listen, Sharif, she gets abusive

and bully like to people like me, who have had her back and she's telling me that Angie is pushing her to the brink of suicide. So I have her back and now everything like was it even real did you really push you to that like or was it fake and then Sheree and Jan look at her like what the fuck? That was the most shocking thing in the episode for sure cuz even I was like Yeah Who says that? Who says that?

Who says that? Even if you don't believe it's real. Who says that? Yeah. Well, then, I mean, by that, and Jen's like, please tell her, are you serious? Was it real? And Shreefe was like, was it real? And Angie now backpels it, and she's like, no, I mean, not that.

I knew you were, I knew about that. But like, no, were your feelings about this woman real? But by then, it's too late. You know, if she's like, no, I mean, not that. I knew you were, I knew about that. But like, no, were your feelings about this woman real? But by then it's too late. You know, she's like that. She's just like that, not the other thing. No, she meant the other thing, but it just did not fly, especially because they brought coach all over.

And he's like, it's not real. Did she almost died? Did she try to commit suicide? And Jens outside with a producer, and she's like, fuck her, I'm leaning. And she says, never in my life have I met someone as hateful or as disgusting as Angie Kay. Because you don't do that. You don't ever question someone's mental health

or they're suicide attempt. That is beyond fucked up. Which gents a monster. And I question a lot of things about Jen and what she did to those old people like you literally left old people Destitute and homeless broken a broken a broken clock a broken clock that commits wire fraud still is right through tons of day That's right, man unless it's a military clock in which case one time a day sorry. Yes And so Jen's like I don't't want to get my face right now.

So she's pissed. So she's leaving. So then Heather is trying to talk to Angie Kaye and Angie's like, I mean, I think it's healthy for them to have peace. But she flipped flops. That's the thing. She said, I gave you a block. She says that I gave her a black eye. And Heather's like, no, she says that I gave you a black eye Heather. And Heather's like, yeah, well, she also said that spiders lead eggs in my eyes. No, that no, she didn't have her.

Wait, is there a spider Easter also? Oh my God, how many little spider babies are trying to find eggs? But no, Jen didn't say that. Heather said that to Jen as a cover story. I don't understand. This will literally sometimes, I just don't understand. So Heather's like, do you want peace with Jen? Like, what is your objective? And she's like, well, I don't think there's any way to move forward. So Jen just wants to leave. And now there's,

you know, basically a kind of segues, we're only like halfway into the episode, but it segues into like the final, this is where they're at at the end of the season. So we get Heather's book is finished, and now she's worried her family will actually read it. So she practices with a required regularly and continues to give Jen amazing grace.

Hold on, Ben. I'm K, you did so long. That was the second, you did so long, dude. What did I do? This is the part I'm showing. I'm not mad at you. I'm annoyed with these end cards, because it's like you said, it's 20 minutes in,

and I was like, oh my God, I finished my notes. This is great. So I took pictures. Yeah, you did Heather. I'll do a Lisa. I can just got it. No, I can text you, then, because I wrote them down. I've got them here. Lisa's business has boundaries in her life, except in the bedroom. Unfortunately, the bad weather report is still gloomy, and sunny skies aren't on the...

...harzon. And Meredith. And Marida. MMMM! Earth continues to be a champion for mental health and especially her own. She and Sath are busy taking bubble mouths with the leaves no time to reconcile with Lisa! Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa?

Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa?

Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa?

Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling with Lisa? Why would I spend time reconciling lease borrow when there's one being salads to be made for the needy I'm sorry, but I can't reconcile at this moment and you know what we have to give credit where credit is due because I kept Scrolling because I'm like okay now we'll read the other ones They did a whole season with four housewives. That's something. Well five, well five, Jen. That's still something, that's the skeleton crew.

Well, I mean, New Jersey has actually been like that for several seasons now to be fair. Good points, I take back my good points. New Jersey basically has all those husbands, so it's kind of like a full housewife, like a full cast, you know? Yeah, and their personalities are all like so big. So anyway, so we finished that. Yeah, it's like their bodies. Yeah, and their personalities are like so big. Some personalities can like carry it and some people can't. So then we go to three months later, don't don't and we have us, we, you

know, we get to see the mountains and to church. You know, we always get to see a temple. And it's long. No, we don't see it on. Okay. You also see a, an ominous valley, by the way, there was a very ominous valley. There was flying over. It was like, ooh, someone's dead in the valley. Yeah, it was like dead in the valley, but it was also like Elden Ring. Kind of. Yeah, it was like Brenda Blevin, you know. If you have it in Elden Ring.

Yeah. And Trash, I'm terribly sorry. We're telling each other, you're at the wrong place. I'm terribly sorry. Oh, no, I did have a baby with you, John. I'm finished. So this is a Jen and mom scene, which is so hard to watch because we all remember the scene,

sitting down with Jen's mom, where Jen's mom gave up all of her retirement money. Yep. And that leans on all of her homes to give money to Jen. It's like the ultimate old lady scam was her own homes to give money to Jen. It's like the ultimate old lady scam was her own mother. So congrats Jen. Hope you feel great, but she's still sticking

to her story right now. Also, this is the day she's leaving to New York for her trial and she's literally dressed like a clown, which I thought was great. I think she's right. So sitting at the front stoop and Jen's just sort of sad, she wishes dad were there to help make things better And the mom is so sweet and she actually gives such a lovely piece of advice saying, you know

Don't forget like what your grandmother said and what's part of talking culture that you're always around by your ancestors They're always around you and when you call their name. They're right next to you. So we go in that courtroom Call your grandma call your grandpa and your dad, and they'll be right there with you. It was so lovely. I already did, I got their credit card numbers. I got social security numbers. I sold ghost out a website.

Yeah. So, um, Jen's like, oh my God, it's really happening, I love you, mom. So then they go off in a car service or whatever and then we see them fly. You know, it's like all sad memes. It's like, and there's like, flashbacks over the past two years of like memories

Andy Cohen will be like, so the New York State attorney general has 95% success rates, success rates, success rates, success rates. Yeah Yeah, well that's because people take a pleady old the old the old the old I mean This is my favorite one they play that one about 10 more times in echo mode and yeah They took all the ha samples off of the keyboard and now it's just But then what then they arrive in New York City and we see the Statue of Liberty and then the music He's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like,

he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he and arriving, getting to our hotel. She gets in and opens the window. You welcome to fucking New York City, right? And sometimes it's just like, the way smell. The way smell to you. Like it depends on how they shoot it. Yeah. Like this case, it was definitely like, the touch of litter was definitely like, bitch, we got you.

Yeah. So then, if we see three days to trial and Heather's in her hotel room because she has come to support Jen and Meredith has come to so they have a very long hug and talk about their game plan and Meredith is like, wow, I think fans are having us here. He has hands, hands, hands, dingle, a war, and there's not much else we can do. I mean, I'm happy that Heather and I are here in New York for Jen because otherwise, how would she slice a single lemon?

And you'd have at least three people, am I right? Yeah, so they talk about how serious this is and Heather says that she saw her before they left for New York and it was the most serious conversation we ever had. And we see a clip of it and Jen's like, oh my God, if something happens to me, will you check on my family every day? And is crying and stuff. And they're talking about how scared she is and stuff like that.

Yeah. So then they go over to Jen's hotel room. Jen is wearing her Brooks Mark sweatshirt. I'm in sweatsuit and Heather's actually wearing the sweat pants They're really like as much as this is a let's support Jen scene It also for some reason is a let's support Brooks Marks scene I hope they don't I hope they don't I hope they find you not bad Mormon Listen, I'm so glad you're wearing Brooks's tracksuit because you're going to be wearing a lot of tracksuits for a little

while. So, Jessica, I'm so happy to see you guys. What do I mean? What do I mean? And I love that they're in this enormous executive suite in this in this hotel. I mean, they're this is, you know, you're trying to save money for your legal team and you're getting this expensive ass suite, but you know what, God bless. So they all hug, hug coach and everything. And Jen says, so many people have said, I'm going to be there for you, Jen, but who's actually here? Who got on the plane? I just get to share support. It's how they're married. Okay. And it's like, having the gallery show up to meet me and like support me. It's like having the gallery be like

What about you Jen? What about you Jen finally someone asks and Heather is like, you know, I know it's gonna be hard for you to move around After you get this injection between your eyes from beauty lab But yeah, basically Jen is here in New York. She is still planning on going through with this trial. It's like two days to trial almost. And she's still like, yep, here we go. I'm completely innocent.

And then they're like, well, where's your husband? And she says working, but they're gonna go have a strategy meeting, right? So now it's two days to trial. And Meredith and Seth and Heather go to this like glamorous beautiful lunch on the water and it's just gorgeous. Like floral those flowers and like arbor's not arbor's but like the the trellis is and they're ordering oysters and champagne. It's like oh what's gonna happen with our friend? Please pass the guy me on.

It's gonna be so hard from prison. You know like deep-throating and oyster. It's so weird. It was a funny look. So, uh, yeah, they go this place, and it's like look at the pretty high-dragons. That's beautiful. High-dragons. That's like, I'll have a, I'll order a stress relief. Ha, ha, ha, ha, stress relief. Also what I call Whitney's boobs. Am I right? Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Hey, Mary, you can take your two off of my taint right now. Oh. So Whitney's boobs, speaking of things I'd like to lunch on, I mean, have lunch with. Hey, I couldn't wait to have lunch with Coach, but that didn't work out. And others like lunch with Coach, but that didn't work out. And others like, yeah, sorry, that didn't work out. And he goes, yeah, I mean, I know it's about Jen,

as it should be, but how's he doing? How is Shaw? And others like, well, I mean, I talked to him. And you know, he's business and emotional support. And they got the witness list. And then they saw the former people in their lives that are testifying and he's seeing what they're gonna say about them. He said it was really hard to read and really hard to hear all these things about Jen. So now supposedly this is the first time

that Coach Shaw has actually heard which Jen done, which I don't know that I believe really, but I'll go with it for now. Yeah, so Seth goes, well, she's either going to be free or innocent or she's going to be found guilty, which is like the third time someone said that this episode, I don't know what profound insight people have when they say that,

well, what is going to happen? I mean, they'll be innocent or we'll be guilty. It's like, yeah, we get this. Stop saying it as if like guys breaking news, single one of two ways. It doesn't. Guilty or not guilty. Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to swallow an oyster or I'm going to lightly rub a boner in my pants. Both things are happening at one time. We have to fire the criminal justice system at this moment. So Seth is like, so, and then Heather says another one like this. She goes, listen, she's not only afraid of being frowned guilty.

She's also afraid of being put into a facility. Yes. Yes. We get it, you know. I think that's the worst part. I think that's probably the part that she's more afraid of the being felt right. So he's like, well, this isn't looking good because everyone else pleaded guilty. And she's and Meredith is like, well, no one is denying the scheme happens. What the question is, is this in Chan Chan no about it? Yeah, I think there's no proof. There's no proof of whatsoever. I mean, it's because well, this is not a small thing where you can be facing six month prison. Oh, this is a major, a major trial. And Seth goes, well, I mean, have any of you guys actually ever asked Jen if she's guilty of any of these charges?

And they're like, uh, Heather looks at Meredith. Like, what the fuck? What is he even talking about right now? How dare he? Heather's like, when your friend looks you in the eyes and says, I am innocent, then you say I am going to support you in any path you take. Please pass the sharkrootery.

God, this Marilyn Wigg really itches. Mm-hmm, Seth is like, well, God forbid she's guilty. Are you gonna still be your friend? And Meredith is like, if and friend, jam is claiming to be an a-fum when she is really guilty and not taking accountability to the victims. That's a really bad problem for these beautiful earrings from Meredith Marks of Jewels. What do you guys even doing here? This is the first time you've ever thought about this.

They actually had to pull you guys a side months later to have a scene because you all look like such idiots for just following Jen so blindly because you're afraid of her. I mean, come on. You know what? I just hatched an idea in my head. I think that Meredith is very shrewd. Meredith has known that Jen is guilty. Meredith has known ever since we saw her in that bathtub and veil hearing the news and be like, wow, of course she did. And because she's been kicked off the loom, Vitton, guest list.

But Meredith now has what seems to be the early traces of a pattern of being really, really nice to the shadiest person on the show. Because she knows that shady person's gonna get there do. So she doesn't have to get her hands dirty with it. So she can wind up looking like a supportive person. She was so friendly and to Mary M Cosby, she loved Mary, she always supported Mary.

All of a sudden she's supporting Jen super hard, because she knows she do Mary M Cosby was not so, and was probably gonna get in trouble the law for her cold and she knows that Jen Shaw is gonna go to jail because Jen Shaw is clearly guilty so she's like why do I have to lose I can look like a good friend supporting my friend in their time of need before they are carted off and I never have to deal with them ever again. Well she's also good at using people as weapons, you know? It's like she would use Mary Cosby against Whitney.

Well, was she against Whitney last year? Lisa or whoever. Yeah, Mary was against, no, Meredith, who was Meredith against last year? Meredith was against Jen last year. Wasn't it Whitney? But she against Whitney too? No, no, she didn't.

I think that they were, well, you can always use Mary against Jen, right? Cause she hated Jen. But Meredith last season was very much against Jen Shaw. Like that was the big feud of the season or one of the big fused. And I've always kind of thought that about Heather too, like just like the long suffering friend

who's there for anybody. Like, even though I've left my religion, I'm still the most forgiving, just like Jesus, you know. Which I know is a different religion, but you get what I mean. So yeah, in other words, I don't agree with you. It's like when you don't like someone, but they're moving across the country.

And so, you know, you can just be like, really nice to them at their going-away party, because that way, you're like, I'm never gonna see them again, and release this way, you can just be like really nice to them at their going way party because that way, you're like, I'm never gonna see them again and lose this way, like whatever. I can get some brownie points. Right, like you look like the loyal friend and this show is all about,

you were loyal to me, you were not loyal to me. I've been so loyal to you. You know, like that's their thing. So I guess they win. Congrats, suckers. So then Heather is like, listen, you believe the people that you love. Just take a moment and see how beautiful it is where we are and how peaceful and consider the circumstances. Runder. Just the heartbreaking. Do you have any more of that horse-ratt radish stuff that goes on top of this oyster?

That would be great. Thank you. It is heartbreaking to think that here we are enjoying a beautiful minion that auntie's oysters while Jen Shaw is going to maybe go away for 30 years. It is heartbreaking. Yeah. So now it's night, and now they're in Jen's room, and they're getting snacks, and Heather likes throws her bag of chips or something at Jens. And she's like, I don't like how you handed that to me. And so then Jens has her monologue about, oh okay, so now it's kind of where Jens drops the news, right? Because she's been with the lawyers all day.

They've been reading testimony all day. They've found out the government's case, basically. That's what they spent their day doing. So Jens, like, you know, the hardest part for me is is someone I trusted, someone made I made I made sure did get fired five times the last company we worked for. Someone I literally saved from dying when he was choking on an almond in a car and I hit him in the temple and called him a stupid fat fuck. Someone who I built from the ground up has betrayed me. I learned this week she says that the person who turned on me and I just read all the things he said and Stuart Smith

is a piece of shit. Yeah and what? He could play the, I'm little Stewart. I'm little Stewart Smith, okay? But no bitch, you're fucking evil. And you played me. And I would be doing, I would be not in this thing. We're not for Stewart. Stewart played me. Stewart little played me.

I was played by a tiny little mouse. Uh, Jen, you're getting your lie mixed up with children's literature. Uh, what about me? So Jen is like, you know, you see the progress of the last year and a half and like, he went from like, Jen didn't know anything. He wasn't involved, Jen knew nothing,

Jen knew nothing, then all of a sudden he's like, oh, Jen knew everything, okay, he was doing this all by my back, the dark time. And Heather's like, but why do you think that he did that just to get a lesser sentence? And she's like, yes, I did, that's how it works, stupid. And this is where Jen, because Jen has spent this whole show all of her time on this show trying to convince us that Stuart is just her assistant.

He's just part of the Shaw Squad. He doesn't do shit. And you know I listen to all those bravo docket episodes. This shit is terrible and these emails that they have going back to each other laughing about the people that they're fucking over and like, oh, it's the 80 year old. She's in love with you, better work harder and get another credit card from her. I mean, horrible human fucking beings, okay? And she spent this whole time trying to convince everybody that Stuart's her assistant and

now as Heather points out in her fake shock, pretends that she had no idea that Stuart was always working with her, and she cannot believe that he would betray her like this. Like, so what is it? Is he your assistant? Or is he this big mastermind that somehow tricked you into scamming life savings out of the elderly? Yeah. So then Jen is like, she's like, it just makes me think like it's so hard to trust people So the literal phone scale are well. So Meredith is like Well, we all know how this world works and Karma is out there and I always say that people that do bad things Suffer with their own being every day or in the case of me they have Seth

so every day or in the case of me, they have staff. So at this point, Heather and Meredith are very quiet and just staring at Jen because they've just caught, like me, Jen is caught, right? Like there's nothing she can do anymore because they know that she's absolutely fucking lying now. And you know, they're both looking and are like, well, glad I came to New York, you know, and then Jen tells us how tired she is.

And she's just so, so tired. And there's so much I wish I could say to the public, because I'm tired, I just really tired. And the producer says, so are you ready to tell us the real story now? And then we just get a black and white still of them having their final group hug. And we, by the way, never get that real story. I was like, because it goes to commercial. So I was like, oh, what's coming up next, but we never got it. So now it's the morning.

We see New York City, and then we hear like that, like that death bell that they play. It's like the, for whom the bell tolls. It's like, ball. It's Jill Zaryn, the death toll. Zaryn. You know what, I went to the trial, I went to the set and think,

could have been better. Could have been better. Could have been better. Could have been better, just saying. You know what, those, okay. You know what, I like the day cool. I like the day cool, but you know what, they could have spoken up a little bit.

It was very hot to hear. Oh, so we see what we've seen lots of clips of since last July, which is reporters chasing her to her car and asking for a comment because she has just pleaded guilty. And so is it, it is pleaded, right? I get I, you know, I'm so glad you asked that because I always thought the past tense of plead, what were plea was, or plead was plaid. It is. But I wonder if maybe legally it's like pleated is the past tense when you're talking about a plea

and pleated. Yeah, I think normally it's plaid, but then legally it's pleated. Why? I'm gonna look that up. It's like someone hung himself. No, he didn't, hung himself. He hanged himself. He hanged himself.

It's one of those, you know, one of those tricky, tricky words. You know what? I'm gonna look up pleated versus plaid because honestly, we're gonna get a lot of, we're gonna get a lot of this, this exact sort of thing where everyone's gonna tell me. It's pleated. Like actually, so yes, I think that we're onto something. Um, and the answer is. It's like, are you wear dockers and dockers are pleated? Usually say we're last time I wore them. Long time ago. And the answer is you wear dockers and dockers are pleated

Usually say we're last time I wore them long time ago. Yeah, I think it's pleated anyway She was sentenced to 6.5 years. We see on the screen which you know, that's she's lucky as hell She is Because that is ridiculous Yeah, so then Back as I'll late by the, by the way, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm from grammarists. This is from actually I'm really excited about this.

This is from grammarists. Pleaded is shops pop up window. Pleaded is the standard past tense and past participle of the verb pleaded. Plead has always been considered incorrect. Always been considered incorrect, by people who make such judgments, but is so common that we have to accept it as an alternate form. And plead is not just an Americanism, as some have claimed. It appears just as often about one plead, by every 20 pleadids.

In current British and Canadian news publications. Australian's are the exception they seem to shun play almost completely. Wow, that answer means to get the stick out of the task. I'll take it that much. I, by the way, if anyone wants, I will always be happy to do grammar clarifications in Meredith Mark's voice because that's like, now that I've done it, I realize that every little thing about grammar is so Meredith Marks. Actually, it's e before I accept after seeing,

or I before eating, I'm never seeing, I'm sorry. Oh, okay, well now we know. So, that was the first question. That was the first question. That was the last one. That was the twist. That was the twist of this episode, really. It's basically like, play is wrong, but stupid Americans use it so much. And I guess British people in Canadians too,

but mainly Americans. That's always the answer. It's like, you could look at any time you look up something in grammar. It's like Americans are stupid. There's your answer. It's like, okay. I can't believe Plato is just we've just forced it. We forced it to be part of our language. It's not never gonna say

Plato again ever. Oh, so back in Salt Lake City, where it Pago Pago or it's just Pago, but it says Pago on both Windows. I don't know. Okay, but it's not. Look at that. It's not Kachino Tuscana. That's what I know. And if you think we're not going to Kachino Tuscano, when we go to Salt Lake City, you were wrong. I'm going to Kachino Tuscano. Oh, hell yes. So Lisa and Heather are having lunch. And Lisa's like, hi, can I get a table for two? Hi, how's that? Hi, Pago. Hi, other Pago. Hi, Pago too. So, um, so then they're ordering you out and these are like, hi, could we get like two Vita cocktails? Thank you. Barata, crab cakes and two Vitaos, I'm not even gonna specify which one

because you should know. Go hostess. Tell Bar Pago, hi. Hi Bar Pago. Hi Bar Pago. So they're like, oh my God, can you believe it? Oh my God, it says so well. I felt like a bit of emotions.

I felt confused. I felt like, wow, is this who she is. I felt like, wow, is this Coke Zero? Because I want to throw up right now. Get me a diet Coke, John, Jesus Christ. I felt like, oh my God, what about our cats? Yeah. And I was like, I am overwhelmed with grief. It's horrifying. Grief that we're in this situation. Grief that there are victims. Grief that there's a whole second pogo that I never even knew about all this time. Yeah, and then they start crying about her 16-year-old kid, which, you know, obviously that is sad. Yeah, that is sad.

But at the end of the day, that's another victim of Jen, and I'm not crying for Jen. But yeah, that is sad for the innocent people in their life. I'll be. So Lisa's like, yeah, my bald yesterday. And so they start crying about that. And Lisa's like, yeah, but when you read what she said, what did you feel?

What did you feel? And Heather's like, shock. I mean, just shock. Because, sorry, there are pull quotes from the plea that says like, I knew the purchasers of the services were misled, I knew this was wrong, I know many people were harmed, and I'm so sorry, yada yada. Yeah, because part of her plea was that she had to fully confess and not take any of

it back, you know, and you can kind of see in her diary room sessions where she just almost wants to, you know, she wants to start excusing it. She did have the whole blaming steward for lying and all of that stuff, but I guess since that happened before the plea, she's, she's safe. But anyway, Heather's just like, I mean, here's my theory, which I thought this was, well, she says she pled guilty. So what she pled guilty to is so bad.

And the fact that she's taken it so far and proclaimed her innocence, I mean, all I can think is that she thought she was gonna get away with it. And then she realized she wasn't gonna get away with it and her story changed. That's usually how that goes actually. It's like a very overstating, the obvious kind of.

I was like, wait, the fact that she proclaimed her innocence until the 11th hour and then pleaded guilty that that was an indication that she thought she could get away by saying that she's innocent and then changed her mind. I can't see. Literally crazy. So Lisa's like, but then what made her decide

at the last second not to fight anymore? And I thought this was interesting because I haven't heard this, but she says, I think Coach discovered what she was doing and it was impossible to explain away. And then when the witness statements were read, they knew that it was something that they couldn't get away with. And it was a smoking gun. And boom, you're going to prison for a decade.

And then she says, if I'll tell you right now, if my husband knew about it and he knew and my husband was involved and he said to me, go sis, I'll take care of the kids while you spend 10 years in jail. That's the first time I've heard anybody say like, oh, so he probably knew this whole time and he's saying you're gonna be the one to take the fall and I'll take care of the kids. time and he's saying you're you're gonna be the one to take the fall and I'll take care of the kids. Well, you heard that. I haven't heard that but I think it's probably like, but I think that Heather was saying not that he was like involved involved but like that seems like it wasn't if it wasn't if it wasn't really Naki's is Asian. She's saying and I tell you right now if my husband knew about it and he knew and my husband was involved and he said and he said there You go sis. I'll take care of the kids and see you in 15 years. Yeah, I think that's basically she's saying

He was like look you're screwed. I got I'll take care of this or something But I still was still a sort of ambiguous. I wasn't totally sure what she was getting at I felt like I got like 89% of the way there I wasn't totally sure what she was getting at. I felt like I got like 89% of the way there. But I let them... I let them three times because I was like, whoa, that's the first time I've heard anybody suggest that he knew the whole time and he's saying,

we're not going both going down for this. Right. You're going down and I'll take care of the kids. I just was surprised that he was not like, I'll take the fall and you take care of the kids. But maybe because he knew that his, there was more upside to the money he was making or something. I have no idea.

That's so, that's like, yeah, I don't need a security. So at least it's just, at least it's like, oh my God, beyond, beyond, beyond. And Heather goes, I think she did it. And I think she's choking on the words. And she doesn't wanna say it, it's too big. And the penalties are too big.

I'm like, well, welcome Heather to the rest of America. Congratulations, you made it over here. Yeah, and also you think she did it. She said she did it. She's already confessed at this point. You know, so whatever Lisa cries and it just ends with sobbing. Oh my god. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. I mean two pogos. Can you believe it? It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. I mean, two pogos. Can you believe it? It's a lot. Yeah. So there you go. There's the end of Gen Shaw on Salt Lake City until she has her Gen Shaw checking in or Gen Shaw and Andy Cohen sit down in front of the cameras.

Yes, or if they give another spin off to like coach, you know, like while we wait and he just, yeah, he just calls like he said, he just calls Jen, everyone's no, you have a collect call from such a security number. I'll take it. Well, look, six and a half years go by very quickly. I mean, six and a half years ago, it was only 2016 or so. So, you know, like that time will fly by, she'll be back, you know, I mean, how long was Daniela stop off of New Jersey, right? That was like 10 years and then she came back. I was just like, it was like no time had passed. So, yeah.

I say, she'll be back with us before you even know it. I don't know if that's a good thing. Fucking hope not. God. I'm about to say, I was, I'm reassuring people who are like, but what about you? I'm doing over there. I don't know. I'm not talking about time. But in reassuring people who are like, but what about you doing over there? I don't know. In the meantime, I'll be there visiting her every week. Anyway, that's that. So

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