Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC: The Fret Gala

Episode Date: December 5, 2020

**This episode also avail as video on Crappens On Demand http://bit.ly/crappensvideo** Mary has a Met Gala luncheon that's nothing like the Met Gala to give the ladies Louis Vuitton ear buds and fight with Jen about calling her a grandfather f**ker. Put on your finest threads! This week's bonus is a catch up on our personal lives. Find it at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens*We're doing a 12 part series on Stitcher Premium called Dwell Hello all about HGTV's House Hunters. Sign up to Stitcher Premium at https://www.stitcher.com/premium using discount code CRAPPENS.**We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but people are really sorry. Okay, this one happens, but there's so much that happens. Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crab Bans! The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on ye old brows! I'm Ronnie Kerrum, and as usual, it's a little different today.

I'm here with the gorgeous, talented, thin hair on his head and birthday. Newly year minted, Mr. Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben. Hello, hello. You are so kind in the lies that you tell. Happy birthday, there's a book for you. Here's a under chin. I'm having receiving it in my underchins.

This is our first crap and on demand since Thanksgiving. So we are seeing ourselves on camera. And I'm shocked at what I'm seeing on my end. I'm like, wow, wow, that's whooptito casserole. I see exactly where it's sitting, right? You look hot. You look here. And actually, because of the internet connection, I don't know on who's in, but your face is a little fuzzy to me.

So you've got like the Barbara Streisand glow, you know, like the facelift on the lens. So you'll be young forever. Oh good. I needed today. Thank you everyone who sent messages and commented on Instagram and everything. Uh, it's been lovely. It's been a lovely, it's just lovely to wake up to all that stuff. I played Animal Crossing and the little animals gave me a birthday party, which is about as close to birthday parties I'm gonna get in pandemic times. So yeah, I had a squirrel and a goat and a cat got me a pinata and the recup cakes inside.

That's been my day. Adorably sad, so congrats. But also another great birthday gift which I put up on Instagram is that I was scrolling through Facebook and then Facebook was like someone you might know, Simon Van Kempen. I was like, that is a birthday gift. Wow, can I give you a Simon potentially? Yeah, it's your birthday and then you've got the grim reaper and leather pants. It's waiting to friend you.

Simon Van Kempen, wow. Well happy birthday, glad you're still alive. Thank you. We do. Sir, love you. Everybody, this is Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Day. Hi. Sorry to the people who are not on the train with below deck being pushed to the side for

a little while or just finding out, but below deck will be back eventually. We just have too many recaps right now. Guess what? Sickle watching people clean, okay? That's shown needs to take some time off between seasons. I do not need people cleaning year round on the TV. If they're gonna clean year round, they need to get my goddamn house, okay?

That would be nice. The other thing is it's crap is on demand. As I mentioned, so go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ends. And if you sign up on the crap is on demand level, you can watch us. You can see, you can see Thanksgiving all over again. And yeah, and we have Salt Lake City today. And then our next episode will be Southern Charm.

We will be doing Southern Charm, of course. Salt Lake City, well, episode just cracked me up. It's so fun. Talk about a birthday gift. It was watching Salt Lake City. Yeah, this episode was hall, Gloria. So let's get into it. We open the warming 20s party. Hello, darling. The Whitney is throwing in that weird, like prohibition bar with chunky strippers with this on their back. Yeah, yeah, this did not look like a great party, but it was a party, so that's exciting. And I was also excited for Whitney.

I feel like this episode of Whitney started to become funnier. And I was a little unsure about Whitney's role on the show, she's sort of seen very silted and awkward. But she's being shady in her interviews, and I really appreciate that. I like Whitney. I mean, she sort of seemed very stilted and awkward, but she's being shady in her interviews and I really appreciate that. I like Whitney. I mean, I probably Whitney very entertaining, but I come, you know, I'm a repressed, come from a repressed religious background.

So to me, I'm like, I got it. You know, it's like goal me in Wigs. And she was on Watch What Happens Live the other night after the, or whenever this show was it two nights ago? I don't remember. She was on a Kelly Dodd of all what a combo so it was like Kelly what do you feel about your idiotic texts and COVID denying so what I'm sorry I was like about a rock all this and then it's like so with me you know he tried

like lightning up when he got to Whitney and Whitney was doing that thing I think where you put like band aids or some shit on your eyebrows. Her eyebrows were out. Like she was taping her eyebrows back. And she had like a wig with the bangs to cover it, but her eyes still looked like this. I mean, it was something.

She got like a raise, like an eyebrow raise. And now she's like some like 1950s like gay icon, right? Like as, you know, once your eyebrows get to a certain height, you just then become a drag queen for the gays. You know, drag queen inspiration at least. Yeah. Um, yeah. So she, we, we, she debuted that look last week on, uh, on the show. So it's good to see that their eyebrows are still riding high on watching happens live. Yeah, I don't know if those are like clothesline pins or what, but they were, I mean, they're really high at hall areas. And she's trying to hide it with bangs. I mean, the whole thing was great. And then

juxtaposed with Kelly's screaming and trying to apologize, but then saying even more stupid things after she apologized. Bravo has been a gift lately. And there's actually a lot of Bravo news that we should talk about, but we'll probably do that in this week's bonus. Yeah, sure. It's, there is a lot of bombshell headlines all like on the same day. Yeah. It was, it's, it's crazy. Yeah, we have a lot to discuss on, on, on the bonus episode. We have to talk about those Bravo headlines.

We'll talk about the undoing and we'll talk, we'll wrap up Emily and Paris. So we know we got a full slate for the bony, or we'll get to some of that stuff. Who knows? Yeah, I didn't watch Emily and Paris. So that was already a lie. Okay, that's a lie. Let's get to this party. So we're at the Roaring Twenties party and Whitney is just asking your husband for money

and he's like, I only have 20s. I'm like, well, how else are you going to get a blowjob? Whitney, come on. Yeah, is the real man carrying around a wedding? You're on Bravo. You have to have 100s, honestly. Yeah. Like, if 20s is for, 20s is for A&E and singles is for TLC. Okay. So TLC they're just throwing pennies at your head.

Like you're a goddamn fountain at the Bullagio. It's just monopoly money. It means nothing. So Jen, she got all the girls are sitting in a booth and then Jen sits at the booth, and then she is just staring at Mary, and then she's like, Meredith, can we go for a chat? Which is kind of annoying, because you went through all that effort

of like sitting down at the booth and making everyone slide over, and then it's like, can we go somewhere else to talk? I'm like, you just made everyone rearrange. You should just have stayed standing above the booth, and then have Meredith come out, you just made everyone rearrange. You should just like have stood, stayed standing above the booth and then have Meredith come out, you know? Yeah, she had very controlling seating at the booth because she comes up with a huge train that's like a mile long

and I guess that guy she only paid together in the door. The guy didn't actually stay to carry her dress the whole night. So the rest of the night she's like slapping people with the train of the dress. She comes over, she makes everyone move. She sits down and somehow they move They're in booths, so they move around so much at when she says get up again. They all have to move again It's like a musical chair that nobody wins a cake, you know, and it was like a Lord knows how to use one controlling

Yeah, it was so so they walk over To another booth instead and you know, they walk over to another booth instead. And they, of course, they have like that. We're about to fight small talk. You know, so Meredith is like, wow, wow. That's a lot of drastic carrying. I know it's very on point. It's so perfect. Wow.

Wow, great dress. And she's like, maybe I'm feeling a bit insecure, but we had a sleepover planned, and my feelings were hurt. When you sent me a text saying, you wanted to spend time with Chloe, who's in college, and you want to spend time with Chloe who's in college.

I'm going to put position myself on a diagonal to make myself more empathetic. So, okay. I'm now at a diagonal, and I'm going to talk to diagonally. Alright? It is true. Chloe, I do want to spend time with Chloe. Okay, it is, it is a true thing. What I don't want to tell Jam is about how embarrassed. I want to spear her the embarrassment of my kids' disclosure at seeing her vagina in their faces. Yeah, and then we see a clip of Brooks being like, I don't ever want to see that woman

have a vagina. I thought again, mother. And a little tamra, Rachel, that out tamra. So Meredith's like, I just don't want to hear her in her feelings. And she's like, well, I mean, the party's over at midnight. What, you're going to spend time with your daughter at midnight? Yeah, all right. I'm going to spend time with them at midnight.

She's like, I get that. I get that. And I know you've been hanging out with Mary and going to her church. And I'm thinking that maybe, maybe, like, she doesn't want to hang out with me because she's friends with Mary. And Mary would get mad if we were having a sleep over

I don't know can we just like blame this on Mary somehow? I don't engage in other people's conflicts, alright? And then Heather is not like she has no chill at all and also this booth setup is just it's just a bad setup Okay, because I don't have the whole restaurant here so they can't just set a scene there set up, okay? Because I don't have the whole restaurant here, so they can't just set a scene. They're literally, like, a tiny little square. The public is still in this restaurant. It's not even a private party. It's not. There's like people in jeans who are not dressed up like flappers. Yes. And so Heather has no chill. And she can't just look over because the tables aren't close to each other. So she has like put her arm on the back of the couch.

And she's just like straight up watching it like a TV Just full on watching it and so um so then Jen is like listen if you want to be if you want to be Mary's like whatever It's fine. It's fine. I don't choose signs. I don't look on my diagonal to diagonal people choose signs He don't choose signs and she's kind of making her head like diagonal, so her hair hangs a certain way. And she's like, what, you don't want to take sides? What do you want to be sweatser than the rest of your life? I mean, don't you have an opinion? You're a smart woman. You know what's right and what's wrong? Okay, Jen is off her fucking rocker. She needs to be played by Shariotary. She's just mad at every little thing. She's like, she's tackling everybody for no reason and by the way the people that yell at you about wanting to be Switzerland

Are the same people that when you when you try not to be Switzerland? They say oh, you know what? Stay out of it. This doesn't have Bob you stay out of it and then you're like okay, I'll stay out of it Oh, so you just could be Switzerland take a side Yeah, and so just like are you serious right now? I've been a better friend to you than she has and Meredith is like a master woman is unhanged Well you say it's two different things right now She's are you serious? She's like I've been you know, I've been your friend. I mean, I don't know where this is going to marry

She has nothing to do with oh, yeah, I guess that's what you just said That's okay, it's still fun. I was lost. I was well. I was like lost. I was like it I guess I was Read the news like I'm cool. I just want Meredith to be like, hi, you've got me out but I'd be like thanks a. Oh not me out but I'd be like thanks a well. Did you imagine like you have got me out. Today in the news, a rabbit fell down a well and the fire department's heading there. We hope for the best for the rabbit.

Let's go over to Sue Simons, see what's happening at five o'clock. So she's like, if anyone did anything to you, I would back you up. I would back you up. She just keeps doing this thing with her fingers because she's got, if anyone did anything to you, I would back you up. I would back you up. She just keeps doing this thing with her fingers, because she's got super long nails. She just keeps hitting her eye with her fingers.

She just shows that she's crying, but she's not really crying. She's going to be crying because she keeps hitting herself on the eye with very sharp fingers. And Whitney and Heather look over and they're like, should we go help? And Heather's like, oh, no. I've seen her when she's pissed. I've known her for long enough to just leave her go.

Okay, let her go. She's blacked out. Yeah, so then Jenna is like, how are you my friend to someone who's not even, how are you a friend and you're, and you're to someone who not only hurt me, but my family and you're okay with it. It's not okay with me.

And yes, it is hurting my feelings. I'm like, how did, how did Mary hurt your family? She said it smells like hospital in here. You're the one who's turned it into like an affront against humanity. Well, yeah, she did not take her ass legs, okay, calm down. No. And she's like, Meredith's like, listen,

you know, what happened to you two crying? I'm telling each other, I love you. I'm I'm not hold on I need to poke this vein back in because it's actually Moving the little tent on the table is coming out so hard Mary's being is like popping out of her And it's like that's just not it Meredith. That's not it And so then Heather's over there at the other at the other booth Excuse me. Trying to decide if she's gonna interrupt or not. And she's like, you know what, if I can make eye contact,

I'll go over. But if I can, I'm gonna wait for my lollipop chicken drumsticks. Heather only cares about the food in this whole thing. Yeah. So, James, the only reason I accepted her apologies, because it was your birthday, you mean more than me than this bullshit. And we're just like I am so confused.

That's so crazy. So what he's like, as the host of the party, should I go figure this out? Is it up to me to figure this out? And Lisa's like, I'll go. I'll take care of it.

I love that. I love that. Can I touch? Okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey, simmer down. It's a party, okay. It's a party and she's like I'm about real friends Lisa. I'm about real friends Lisa You hear this like this is not pretty octave. I'm not engaging. I'm a decent gay home

I'm just shake my head really hard just to prove to people that I can still move it I'm just engaging. And I have been disengaged. So, so Jen is like, well that's what you always do. That's what you always do. You're what you're gonna go with Mary, who fucks her grandfather. And Heather's like, oh my god, all the ladies are like, oh my god. I can't believe she said that. Mary's like, I heard that. Okay, call me whatever you want. Clearly, there's something you find fascinating because I'm always in your mouth. And Heather's like, always in my mouth. What do you a lollipop chicken? She's like, I'm not talking to you. Heather's like, yeah, you know what? Fuck your grandpa. I mean, no big deal. But I mean, if it was my grandpa, then I was fucking, I mean, that's me. That's me. I would not want to friendly out with me at a party. That's a really interesting train of empathy.

Like, fine, fuck grandpa, but with my grandpa. So then when he's like, And if you call someone a motherfucker, that's one thing. But if you're really fucking your mother, that's mean. You should never do that. Yeah, and then when he's like, that's just rude, whether or not it's true, it's just rude. Like who talks like that?

Unless she is fucking your grandfather by the way. That's not like, there's also true. Yeah, she is. You can really make anything sound mean. You know, Domino's lover. I mean, like, it's true. Yeah. It's still mean when you say it like that to me.

CD-ROM. You'd see ROM Just I just shamed So yeah, Jen is still going off Lisa's like, you know what you need now more to Kaya But now and turns like okay, no problem no more tequila. Just go hang out with Mary crossby who fuck her grandfather Are you okay with that? Are? Are you okay with that? Are you, are you okay with that? Table 26 and blue jeans.

Are you okay with that over there? Jen, don't, Jen, don't say that. Jen, don't say that, Jen. Don't, I love that. Not for you. Reverse, I love that. Love that. Reverse, I love that.

That love, I, that love Love that. That love I. That love I. So Marath is like, I don't need to be older. And I don't need to be older about my relationships that don't even concern her. So I'm just going to leave right now. I don't respond to women cursing at me. I do not like women cursing at me. Like, maybe you should just say I don't like when people curs at me.

I'm talking about women cursing at me. And Jen calls her husband and she's like really crying. And that's when I was like, what's wrong with this lady? Well, she has, she like loses her mind. And Lisa's like, listen, I know that you're sad. I love Meredith. She's like my sister. There are no sides. No one's picking Janah Mary.

No one. No one's there. She's like, thank you. She's like just like balling, you know. She's like, yeah, she probably fucking lead right now. She probably finally, by the way, she's doing the exact thing that she just was like, she told Meredith, oh, that's what you always do.

You always just leave. I'm like, as she calls Sharipa's like, I need to leave. And Heather's like, this is a crazy night. The stripper is yelling, the screaming. It's a good thing our Mormon friends aren't here. Their faces would melt off in horror. I was like, everyone's faces are melting off in horror, okay? And Heather's, Heather goes, I got a follower.

I got a follower out, guys. Hey, I'll be back. Do not clear the burger or the lollipop chicken Guard them so she so Heather goes outside and And then Jen is like she's out there and she's like she's like where are you fuck and she's yelling and she's like Heather's like Jen Jen and she's like go me. She's like now screaming outside of this like and she's like, go me! She was like, now screaming outside of this like. And she's screaming at the producers. She's pulling with the Sandin Bedouard,

Drunken, where were they when she was doing that? Mexico, somewhere, right? Everywhere. She's like going crazy, y'all, and get the producers. So she's already doing that, and it's only episode four. OK, and the producers are trying to calm her down. And Heather's like, oh, god, I guess I'll just call it Coach Shaw.

She's like, Coach Shaw, where are you? OK, you'll see me walking when you turn in, okay? I'm the flapper with cancels. Right. Jen is acting. She's like, I want to go home. I want to go to the fuck home. She's acting as if something happened to her.

But nothing happened to her at this party. She came in and started yelling at Meredith. Meredith is like, I don't want to talk about this. And now she is bawling as if she's been cursed out herself. Yes, this is typical, and this is typical especially on Bravo shows. Someone comes in and attacks everyone, really degrades them in front of everybody, and then starts crying and comes out with some story that we should all feel sorry for them because they've really had an artist.

I'm just shut up. And that comes later in the episode, but you know I was screaming at my TV to shut up at her. She's so ridiculous. It was also, I'm cracking up. Like finally I'm cracking up, because you just know that she's gonna do that now

in every single episode. It's like, hi, how are you? I'm gonna have, fuck you, how are you? How are you? Like just stop all over. Somebody will start beating the crap out of them. Yeah, I was just so over the top. It was hilarious. So now it's the next day, and we have this weird montage of people reacting to the party, and the music is like, Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh you know, Whitney's with Mary and she's like did you enjoy the 1920s party?

And she's like well, I did until the end of the night And then Lisa and Heather are talking and Heather's like I saw storm brewing Okay, I'm in Meredith's at home talking with the Brooks and she's like she was yelling at me and saying how can you be friends with Mary and he's just like He's like, she was yelling at me and saying, how can you be friends with Mary? And he's just like, he's like, mm-hmm. And Mary's like, she called me a grandfather, I'm never, and Lisa is telling Jen, I told her, she shouldn't say that.

I'm saying, I don't love that, I don't love saying, I don't love that. I don't love that. I don't love that. I don't love that. No one should speak to another human being that way. And Heather's like, she scares the shutout of me. I was just comforting her because I don't want her to yell a man. Yeah. And Mary's like, oh, that woman really hates me.

She wants to be the big dog. And that's another thing. It's like, oh, she hates me because she's jealous. She's jealous of Mary because Mary has something. A beta fish. A lot of beta fish. A lot of beta fish. There's got access to a beta fish pipeline.

So now we go to a gallery. Like after this like weird montage, that leads to nothing. We go to a gallery, like after this like weird montage that leads to nothing. We go to a gallery and Meredith is with a woman named Marin and I was like, Hi, you look gorgeous. Oh my god, you're like, you're like, don't jazz, I'm like, don't jazz and then Lisa shows up. And she's like, my soul sister, I can't even take it. like you're like die coke with long hair my soul sister I'm here this is like I gotta find art because my house is new and it needs to feel like me Modern with clean lines. I want everything to tilt so it's not really look you have that bear painting and a tilt

So it's not really looking right at you that bear painting and it tilts so it's not really looking right at you. Oh my god that bear painting that is so cool. Can I touch? Can I touch? Can I touch? Can I touch? Can I touch? I was glad that there was at least something else in there because the first room that they're in is all the same painting. Did you notice that? I noticed that I was like, really? Pine cone trees. What do you call those pine trees, I guess? Christmas trees. It was all just Christmas trees. Those were those furs. Yeah, whatever. In the gray, you know, it's like sad Christmas tree. They were like 50 sad Christmas trees.

All over the place. I noticed that also. I was like, what awful gallery is this? What you can do to your house? But then they pulled out that bear thing. Can I touch? Can I touch? Can I touch? And then the lady's like, no, no what you can do to a house but then they pull that that bear thing can I touch can I touch can I touch and then the lady's like no no you can't okay so now here's some LED piece can I touch can I touch can I touch can I touch can I touch can I touch can I touch like no no no and then they go to like another thing that has some sort of like texture or something and other, at least it's like, can I touch? Can I touch?

I love that. Can I touch? Can I touch? And the woman who's so furious, but can't be furious, goes, oh, you're my little toucher girl. You're my toucher. I love the touch. I like the touch.

Can I touch? I love the touch. Can I touch? Can I touch? Can I touch? So then we get to the meat of the scene. She's like, oh my god that party was crazy And she's like, yeah, I don't want to get into that. You know, I have to tell you something else I've been trying telling you they're out of control. Are we gonna make me cry?

That a guy You're gonna make me cry am I gonna feel touched? Can I be touched? You're gonna make me cry. Am I gonna feel touched? Can I be touched? Satham I have been separated for a while now I'm a cry I'm gonna cry I'm gonna cry I We're gonna cry I'll be right to the side to prove that we cry. We look at the side you cry more. I'll be right now. It's official. She's like, our families are close. I just don't want to upset or make reveal like she has to think same. And Lisa's just talking about, yeah, they're like really close. And she's like, I'm not going to cry. I'm not

going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I love you two more than anything more than the ability to touch a diet coke I love you more than anything and I'm not you're crying now Meredith you're crying out. I'm crying. I am crying This is true. This is really hard for me to swallow because we're clubs. I have to plan clasps But it's fine. They're a beautiful family. I mean, nobody even called me to complain that the ball attenders were drunk. So that's a good friend right there. Well, right now, we're just like focused on the cans. And you know, because we were so focused on the kids

that we sort of lost our dynamics. And I'm not seeing, I'm believing the kids for our relationship falling apart. But if they weren't there, we would probably have a very strong and loving relationship. So right now we're just regrouping and we're dating each other.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I love your shadow. I love your shadow. I would love your father. Like yeah, I mean, it's gotten so bad. Like the wrong man in the house

is obsessed with vaginas at the moment. So we just have to change. Well, you know, if you can make it work, then like make it work because you know what, when you make it work, it's like Tim Gunn and I love that. I love that show. I love that show. Where's Andre? Where's Andre?

Can I touch? Can I touch Andre? Where is he? It's time for commercial. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crappin' scum. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

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So then we go over to Mary's house, which is kind of a hot house. Yeah, it's kind of a terrible terrible house. It's just people who have money are like that thing costs money, but that might. Yeah. Also, the editors were real sloppy because Lisa shows up just, oh, okay, it looks gorgeous in here. It looks gorgeous. And we see this wide shot of the living room with a Christmas tree and the floor is like Christmas green. And then the next shot, everything is white. I was like, you can't put it like,

I mean, have some continuity. Like have some continuity. Like the room look, like you can't have, you can't say, wow, this room looks gorgeous. And then show two different shots of the room at two different times of whenever. And they even talk about it being Christmas. She's like, are we still celebrating Christmas?

And Mary's like, well, we still have to break it down. She's like, yo, I thought, yo, I thought. And Lisa says every compliment like she hates you. Like you know that she's saying the opposite thing. Like, oh, it was not Christmas, be on was not cross. It must be on a fall. You're the fall. You're the fall. You're the fall.

To me, Mary's house is a little disjointed from her personal style. When I look at Mary, I see, I say, she's so put together, you know, she's so chic, she has the best style. And then her house is like a little different. It's like more eclectic. It's not quite Utah eclectic, but it's definitely eclectic. I'm like, first of all, you lie. You do not think she's put together She's not so chic and she does not have the best style. She looks like someone was like trying on clothes And the things that they didn't want they just like threw it on a chair and that's like Mary

She just has a wearing just random just random things. And also, what is Utah eclectic? This is regular eclectic. Yeah, that's my question. What the fuck is Utah eclectic? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe it like involves snowflakes. I don't know. Like snow.

So she's like, Mary is like, so, oh, her kid comes in. Her son comes in. So she's like, what's his name? Robert. Robert. So she's like, Robert, did you tell Lisa what you got your girlfriend for Christmas? And he's like, I got her a product purse. Lisa's like, hot, a dark fault, Mary, because it's so fabulous.

It's just a fault. I love that. I love that. I love that. A product purse for a girlfriend. I love that. A product. And she's like, oh, yeah, for Valentine's Day, he bought her a chinchilla.

For Valentine's Day, for another holiday, he got her a dog, but a Prada purse. I mean, that's way more than he's ever gotten for me. And how long do you think that's gonna last? This purse will last longer than that relationship. Like, wow, you were not even hiding the fact that you're just blatantly jealous of the girlfriend. I know. But also, I love that. Like, her takeaway is not like a product person.

Like, why is he spending all this money? It's not even his to spend that. That her takeaway is, oh, wow, but she never gave it something like that to me. Like, that's a takeaway. And then she blinks like five times. She's just that thing to make. You know when some people blink to make their point, they're like, we'll see how that works. Have you blinks? She's a big blinker. Yeah, she does a lot with her eyes Mary

It's all in her eyes and they change you know She goes from being so nice to like so mad to so nice again to so confused to just like completely batty and preset like three blinks Yeah, so Yeah, tell tell her what you got for product pairs. And Lisa's like, um, what do you want to do? Like, what do you want to do when you're out of here? Like, it's an adult. He's like, I want to be a fashion designer, but I'm not saying I'm married. I love that. Have you met Andre? Have you met Andre? Have you met Andre? I love that. I love that. You know, I'm Andre, have you met Andre if you're not a runway? I love that, I love that.

You know what, I'm like, I don't, I wonder if Mary is, she may be a little deluded, she, he got his girlfriend, a prod a purse, a chinchilla, and a dog. Is it possible that he's just dressing her up like L Woods? Like, is that, that crossed anyone's mind? At some point. Oh God I wish. Love legally blind. You just sent me down the L Woods memory as a God. Remember when I was L Woods? But I really wasn't. Yeah, I remember when L Woods

lost like the student election and then like moved to Monterey and like onto fights with moms. Yeah, she didn't cheat it on her husband while she was producing Avenue Q. Oh my God. And then she was like a sensation on the morning. TV shows, it's like what a journey for her. We're a bit far. And then she invited ladies into her closet to organize it, God.

And Mary, it's like fashion designer. You wanted to be a brain surgeon your whole life. You don't want to be a brain surgeon anymore at all. You don't want to help people. Oh, you've changed that girl has changed you This is all her fault. It's all her fault. You don't want to be a brain surgeon It's like that's like be like oh well, oh, so you don't want to be an astronaut anymore Well last time I checked when you in kindergarten you wanted to be an astronaut so what changed what changed? It's like people Grow up. Yeah, you don't want to you don't want to drive a fire frock anymore. Is that what you're saying?

So now they're talking about Whitney's he leaves because he's like it's so funny to blame it on the girlfriend like what girl what are you gonna do? Oh I'm gonna be a brain surgeon gross. I'm not dating you. Georgian, gross. I'm not dating you. I would, I'm not blaming it on the girl, but I can actually imagine someone saying something like that. Just because people are terrible, but I'm not blaming the girl. Bainter Grouse.

Yeah, brands. So, so now they're talking about Whitney's party because Robert Sashay is away. And then they're talking about Whitney's party. And Lisa is, she's like, I was shocked. I was shocked. I didn't know there were gonna be burleth dances there. I was shocked. I was like, can I not touch? Can I not touch? And you know what, your son's gonna be a great fashion designer. He's got the vibe. Look at him walk away. Look at that vibe. His vibe is

thawed. He's wearing jogging pants in the t-shirt. I know he's like, I just want to go play Xbox. So Mary's like, yeah, that girl likes polls. I mean, I'm not even judging her. She has polls everywhere. Okay. You know, I really like events that are more intimate. Like, yeah, that's you.

Miss Intimitive, we just saw you in church. Lisa's like, Lisa's like, wait, can you give me more details on intimate because I have like an aisle aisle but I need the rest to come out give me more detail what sort of intimate events you like I like I say it say what other events you like like loungey I. Thank you. I got it out. Lungy, like Antama. It's like, yeah. I love that. And she's like, yeah, I'm gonna throw a luncheon to show how I like intimate parties.

I love that. I love that. I love that. I'm luncheon. I love that. Love that. What about a lunch out? Have you ever thought about doing a lunch out?

Have you ever thought about that? No? Okay. In Mary's home, so. Yeah, you know what? These women really don't listen. I thought about doing a lunch out. Is there a thought about that? No? Okay. And Mary told me that. You know what, these women really don't listen. So I'm gonna break that in a fun my style kind of a way. I mean, what girl wouldn't want to dress up and look pretty?

So why not a Met Gala? I think like, when I think of Met Gala, I think over the top, like ostrich feathers, costume gowns, shoes, shirts. Hank Harchiff's ceiling fans on the ceiling for ventilation. Lunch and should have met Galah lunch and have four. Beta fish, beta fish, Anna went tour is famously a beta fish, so she should be there. Yeah, air buds, air pods, your buds. Anna went tour is famously a beta fish so she should be there.

Yeah, Air Buds, Air Pods, Air Buds. Yeah, so Mary's like, can I, you know, I want to invite Jen, but I'm not sure about the outbreak. So I'd just like, she went from Zorro to a hundred. And Mary's like, yeah, she's so angry, man. I don't know why. I mean, I think it's competition, bloom, bloom, bloom, bloom, bloom. And at least it's like, competition's never healthy.

It's never healthy. But by the way, if you are gonna be serving tequila, you can only serve Vita tequila. Cause competition's never healthy. So Mary doesn't know if she's gonna invite her. She's like, you know what? I mean, why invite someone who would say things about me that aren't valid?

I mean, I've been called a lot of different names, but never a grandfather, fucker. Okay. Okay. So she's gonna have to think about that. That's her big dilemma, but of course we know how that's gonna turn out, because we've seen the previews.

So now we go over to Heather's house, and Jen comes over, and she's of course wearing like a Chanel Fanny pack and then like the doorbell ring is right after she gets inside. She's like, oh yeah, I ordered sushi. Which I like a friend that comes with like a sushi follow up doorbell, you know? Like that works for me.

Yeah, but it's also that friend who just knows you're about to make a green bean casserole with that. You know? Yeah, yeah, exactly. She's already like stopped you at the past. And we get the standard shot of her shoes coming out of the car onto the ground.

Yes, I love it. It's a close up of her foot getting out of a car. It's like five times an episode. Yeah. So Heather's like, yeah, I've never hung out with that girl when she hasn't brought snacks to ordered food. Chicken Molly Pops. So they start talking basically,

and Jen's like, how's your dating life? And Heather's like, I'm going out with a full-on cowboy. Is that sexy to you? Like, you really want that? And Jen's like, she doesn't want a cowboy. She just doesn't want a farm. And I'm not visiting her on a farm. So she's making a green bean casserole, and just like gross.

Yeah. Like who does that? So they start talking about Saturday, and Jim's like, okay, before we talk about this, are my lips great, are my lips looking good? And she's like, your lips are great, physically you're a dream. Emotionally, you're a green bean casserole. Yeah, and then it goes to commercial.

When it comes back, they just superimpose all this fake snow onto random shots of Salt Lake City. It was like Charlie Brown Christmas snow coming down. Then they come back in and Heather knows that Jen's behavior has been absolutely crazy, but she's her best friend, and so she understands these things. And then she says something that feels really, really judgy, even though she's trying to be nice,

she's like, I'm from a culture of very well-behaved women, and Jen is not afraid to misbehave, and I've always wanted to be that person and never been able to. It just felt like a very loaded comment. Yeah, but really lift up your shirt, good time girl. Yeah, good time girl. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer, Jen is like, you know, you have to understand it.

I don't see my husband. And my father died and his anniversary of his death is coming. And I'm like, okay, here we go. You acted like an asshole, so now you're gonna give us 20 reasons that nobody can yell at you in this episode. Sorry. Like, I'm sorry that you're having real pain, but you can't just go screaming grandfather fucker at people. That's a different conversation, ma'am. Yeah, I actually think it's okay for a yelling grandfather fucker because she is, Mary is Mary to her to her grandfather and it's funny, but in general, no, you cannot go yell at

at people. So also because Jen is the one who is like the most hung up in this ridiculous argument that she has with Mary. So she's like struggling with the death and everything and she's been putting on a good front, but she's lonely and when her dad died like a year ago, Sharif wasn't around to go to the funeral and she was like, she put up a brave face because that's what football wives do, but Sharif will never know how much that hurt her until he turns on the television and sees this scene. Yeah, Jen, Jen, the queen of keeping things on the inside.

I'm sure that he has no idea how she feels about that. And she's like, and then she starts talking about Maryeth and she starts saying how like, you know what, if I'm loyal, if you're my friend, then like if you're my friend and you're my friend, I mean, Jen is one of those people who like throws her loyalty in your face, just like you can't be just like your friend. It's like she has to remind you how loyal she is. And so that way like you're almost like,

is the word blackmail, like your grandma's like blackmailed into like being in to some situation. Like if you, like I guess it's not blackmailed? Like your grandma's like blackmailed into like being into some situation. Like if you, if I guess it's not blackmailed. It's like coercion. Yeah, like she does think so she can hold them against you later, you know? Yeah. Like I threw her an 80 thousand dollar birthday party. And this is how you treat me.

I mean, how could you, you threw that party for yourself? You had a wall of flowers in your own name at that birthday party And no one asked you for that like Yeah, she's all but she does that a lot So she's like and I've been supporting her through her separation and others like What the separating what I hadn't heard that they're separating. She's like whoops Yeah Yeah, and she tells us, she's like, well, I've known this secret for months.

And then we see flashbacks to two months earlier to Meredith being like, yeah, we're getting separated. We're basically gonna, gonna date each other. So it's like actually the worst of both worlds. We're separated and we're still stuck with each other. It sucks. I'm separated from a loser and I'm dating a loser. So, it's going to be a real good day. I'm separated from a loser and I'm dating a loser same dick Yeah, and Well, I feel very betrayed so I'm like if you betray me then I'm gonna be tray you

Okay, aren't you a terrible friend? so and yeah, by the way Meredith didn't betray you okay, so the here's what Meredith did She went to Mary's church, which is not a betrayal. And she decided not to have a sleep over with you because her daughter was going off to college the next day. So like not a betrayal. Maybe in annoyance, maybe some flakiness, but not a betrayal. So there's like, so I guess there's not going to be any more slumber party. It's a hot lunch. I thought she was the better friend than that. She was the different category than that. No, Jen.

Maybe she is in the better category. Maybe you're the one who's in the wrong category. Yeah, she pray. So Mary is unpacking Louis Vuitton back. Oh, okay. She's at the restaurant. So Mary is at the's at the restaurant. Oh my god. So Marys at the Sitalian restaurant and she's got she's setting up and she's got all these people working for her to set it up and she's just being horrible to everybody. She's like, I don't like that. I don't like it.

Yeah, there's like a lady who has this like asymmetric Bob. She's like very like you to a clectic, as they say. And she's like, they're like putting down bait of like 10% of data fish. Come on, touch, come on, touch, come on, touch. And they're putting these like little aquariums on the table. And Mary's, Mary's started talking to us about how she's very particular about things. And she gets let's, she gets let down. She says, I just feel like when people try to show me their expertise, and I'm just like, no.

Like, don't shame people for not living up your standards if you can't even say the word expertise, okay. And she's like, guys, I get that you want to decorate, but you can't take over the table. Like, they're the party decorator. Yeah. Then she goes, what do you guys even know how to read? Because the names are upside down. Okay. That's, I mean, don't worry guys, it's just a little huge flaw. Like it's actually like it's mine. It's so minor like all you have to do is rotate like and they're just so angry at her. They're like, we fucking offered our services for free to be on TV. And now this is how you treat us. Yes. And she's wearing like 10 different

likes at the same time by the way. Of course, well, it's like a consignment store. Like really just a rack of things that are on sale. So then Jen is with her glam squad, like her paid family, and she's calling Coach Shaw. And she's like, I call Coach Shaw for a pep talk on a daily basis. You know, because pep talks make the day great, okay? You know, the first Coach Shaw pep talks make the day great, okay? You know, the first coach saw pep talk I had was 28 years ago, and he said, beware of your environment, okay? And he said,

where are your exit points, Jen? Always know your exit points. And I said, I don't know, I'm not in the fucking CIA coach, okay? I'm in the Louis Vuitton store. You know, these two are sort of getting worse and worse because the fact that he would give that pep talk in a Louis Vuitton store is not great. And the fact that like, she needs to have a football pep talk every day is also not great. So I don't know which ones that fall to here.

All I do know is that how many times has he just gone so exhausted from giving a daily pep talk to her that she like walks into a party and says touchdown! Sorry that was my pep talk with the score touchdown today. And what was happening in that Louis Vuitton store that he needed to tell her? Listen, you need to be aware of your environment. I know it's like Jack Bauer. What do you mean you don't want to try it on?

Fuck you! Fuck you and fuck your mother, motherfucker. Probably fuck your mother, didn't you? Like, ma'am. So, ma'am, do you want this bag or not? No. So, Shreef Basley gives her a little pep talk and says, like, you know, don't confront Mary or Meredith

and be aware of situations that can become hostile and that happiness comes from within. And she's like, thanks, Coach Shaw. He's like, God, how many times I have to tell you that on a daily basis every single day and she never listens. It's a layer she's saying she's telling this to the people that she's, it's like happiness comes from within and she's got five paid employees like glamin' her up. I know, exactly. So Heather and Whitney are driving to the luncheon and they're being really shady about it. They're like, Heather was like, well, this is, this is gonna be fun.

I mean, we did have to nail a few different vibes. I mean, there was the New York Metropolitan Gal, there was like the Met Gala, but it's also a luncheon, but it's also midday, it's also cocktail attire. It's interesting. Yeah, she's like, I don't think that she knows what a Met Gala is. And Whitney's like, how do you think it will go? Well, I think that, um, general avoid Mary and just assess the situation because it's going to come to the point where their paths cross. And I mean, I don't know, chicken molly pops. Uh, so what needs like, um, well, if somebody calls me a grandma grandpa

fucker, I definitely would not be inviting them to my met Gala cocktail attire luncheon. It's like, oh my god. And also, gentlemen, the Meredith was separated and dating a loser. It's like, oh my god, so they're dating other people? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So, now Whitney makes it about her. She's like, I don't know how many times I've asked her, like, how Seth is, like, every time I see her, I'm like, how Seth, how's everything going? And she says, everything is fabulous. I'm like, Whitney, she just wasn't ready to tell you.

It's okay, it's not about you, Whitney. Yeah, so then Mary, who's at Valtruz, Austria, she's talking to the old Italian man who owns a place. He looks like a time traveler. He does. And he's like, what do you like to try the wine? It's like, both half wine and they're gonna cheers. And he's like, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh by the way one last thing about mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I think Meredith is so elegant. Like I don't understand what about Meredith who walks into a scene and be like,

hi guys, it's like, wow, she's so elegant. It's like not the first on the upset, well you know Meredith is so elegant. And then she comes and dressed like a huge pink bird thing. So yeah, so they're having wine with the old guy and Mary smells hers and she's like, Just a wake you up. Just a wake you up. So, there's a red carpet outside with two nutcracker is two guys dressed like nutcracker.

Yeah, did not, did not track with the Magdalethy or anything whatsoever. And they were not even like good cracker costumes There was like someone so them like party city totally and Lisa's like oh that lie. I love that Love that. I love that. I love that. I love that Mary really loves Christmas because even she brought the nut crackers to line So I'm not sure what that has to do with the mag go up, but I love that. I love that half-gig bag that they stopped and put on his head. I love that. I love that. And then Whitney and Heather come and Whitney's like, I really dropped the ball. I did not have a valet. Look, I mean, there's beef eaters and a red carpet. It makes no sense, but it's so her.

So her. Eaters and a red carpet it makes no sense, but it's so her so her Yeah, I Love that I love beefy. I love beef and I love eaters. I love that for both of them. Can I touch? Can I talk so inside Mary is telling Lisa? She's like okay Lisa now you'll notice this is where you're gonna sit now There's a very side pen, okay? And then there's a journal that says, like a boss asks, bitch, or something like that. I can tell you what he doesn't say.

It doesn't say grandpa fucker. Ah, I love that. I love that. I love that. Oh my God. Yeah, she's like, yeah, you can write something on there where you, like something that we don't know about you that we can discuss

You know and open up to each other. I love that. I love that. Did you know that I love that? Can I touch? I touch You have to touch it. It's a fan. It's like oh my god love that that coke. I'm running that coke So then Everybody is basically hugging and Heather and Whitney come in and Mary goes Hugging and Heather and Whitney come in and Mary goes And Mary goes so then so then Mary She goes you guys are drinking Dom Perignon from 2003 and of course in 2003 it was a heatwave and 5600 people died and it made for the best grapes of all time

Cheers What What I'm all in on this lunch and I mean there's beta fish. There's journals pens. I love Louis Vuitton Oh in We're only missing one thing guess what it is Check them all, I bought it. Tune in. I was gonna say, Tune in Gus, Rural.

Beta fish, Gus, Rural. So then, Gus, what we get right now, a close up of Jen, she's coming out of a car. Because this is a scene, and we have to happen in every Jen scene. And she is, again, all dressed up, and there's this, these cracker valleys are really like, this is, there's no words express how janky

these costumes were. Like if this were like, probably Beverly Hills or New York, they would have had the tops, like the hats would have been like, proper, furry, like beef eater, you know, like, Bucky and palace, but this is just really like, crinkled plastic, so bad and watching watching general glammed up to be like, I'm going to the Met Gala at Valtors.

It's like, hmm. And so Meredith is inside of Mary's telling her, I made you a personalized pen and a boss lady journal. So write something you want us to know. And Lisa's like, you know what? I think Mary has a big kind heart. Like, I would love to be in a space to have fun to go to. No drama.

Yeah. So now they start opening up gifts and Mary got them all pocket watches, which really works well with my theory that Walter is a time traveler from like 1922. So they have these pocket watch. Like cool, cool. I even know they're like, what am I gonna do with this pocket watch? Yeah, thanks for the pocket watch, we're.

Thanks, thanks. Maybe next time we'll get binoculars or something. And she also gives them Louis Vuitton AirPods. What's our AirPods? They're like Louis Vuitton beats or something. I don't know. And they're like, oh my God, these are so great. Well, these are so great.

No, nobody needs some Louis Vuitton beats, okay? And you know that it only been work as well. Wait, as a damn AirPods. Is it possible that what I thought was a stopwatch was actually headphones? I don't know, because I didn't see a stopwatch. I probably thought there were really a lot of gifts in that box.

So it probably was headphones, because I was like, oh look, they got stopwatches. So I thought it was like, I thought it was like a little pocket watch that you put in here, and I was like, oh, that's odd. Oh, I was like, how did I miss that? Ben's really into this time travel shirt. He's seeing it everywhere.

I'm seeing it everywhere, I'm like, and then some Libyans came and then Walter had to the shot Walter. Leah Thompson almost had sex with Michael J Fox. She didn't know that he was a son. I love that. I love that. I love that. Then they really, really kind of mother fucker. Bring this so full. I know this show. Yeah. For the future in here truthfully so then I love Love that I love I love time travel. I love that. I love I love that for modern Mcfly

So so now Mary there's Mary's like okay. Let's do a prayer first So they like all hold hands Mary starts Pray like prayer crying and she's like thank you for this moment thank you for these girls thank you for murder for Jen for where they thank you god for Lisa love that another please we pray and we thank you for everything we have it. She's like, amen. It's like, no, no, thank you. This is moment for that girl. And that girl.

And that girl. I got you ear pods so we can hear each other. Okay, that's what this is about. We need to hear each other. We need to hear each other. I got it. How do you ear buds help you hear the people at the table? This is the funniest nuts too. This whole

gas is nuts. This makes a lot more sense to me because I really thought they were pocket watches. But I think it's this it would make more sense if Mary got them all pocket watches and said they were earbuds, you know. It just holds the pocket watch up to her ear. This is so we can hear each other better. And I love the time is ticking on our friendship. So I like that, there's this moment, this ridiculous over dramatic cry prayer. And it's like, Jesus Christ, name, amen, amen, amen. Coming up, I will F you up and down

and backwards, and sideways, and left, and right. So then the Italian guy comes over and he's like, Hey, Sponentine! No, we serve it with caviarra! And the last white raffle on the earth! Last! It comes from 1936! And Mary's like, what, they're $8,000 a pound.

Gross, that you're telling people that, as they're being served. And Gross, aren't you a preacher? Where are you getting all this money? Is this a dual austin lunch? Like where is this money coming from? I have to look up Mary Cosby Businesses Do you feel like their name is? Other vampires. Yes, that's where she's getting her money. I just got it off Google. Vampires with pocket watches.

It says Mary. I mean, there is a connection with Walter. It says Mary Cosby is a vampire. Oh, hold on. I should have kept it on just the, oh, Mary Cosby is a business Magnet who inherited her family's empire of churches restaurants and other ventures. Oh okay. Oh I wonder what restaurants they own Arizona's. Could you imagine the best crossover we've ever seen. Okay so she's loaded I guess so um like a potato hmm

So let's see here. It's time to the cross restaurant guy. Okay, so they're eating their little truffles and stuff And Mary's like and you have something special so you need to write in that okay, and just like do we talk do we talk now? And Mary's like no right don't talk all start all Mary's like, no, right, don't talk. I'll start. I'll start talking. Yeah. She just said, don't talk. We're only writing, not talking. I'll start. Yeah. So Mary, this is, so now Mary's like, she goes, and by the way, she goes, if you're going to talk, don't chime in. So that way, it's only one person talking at a time, and Lisa literally goes, I love that. I'm like, Lisa. Lisa, that's like, it's just like a basic, it's like basic rules of courtesy. I love that.

I'm like, really, you're gonna love, you're gonna do the, I love that. So just like, I'm gonna talk to you, talk. Yeah, so if she compliments everything faithfully, Mary is like, listen, I'm gonna start. I have trust issues, and that is the truth. I just don't trust people. That's something that I can be better at. And Lisa goes, love how to rack you are. Love how to rack you are about that.

To rack. Is that like a, they're supposed to write down things that people don't know about them that they can be open. Saying you have trust issues is about as generic as as like just just saying, like, oh, I'm tortured by things for my youth. You know, like, I have trust issues.

That's your big reveal. But none of them have a big reveal. Like, Whitney goes, no. I'm working. I'm not caring about other people's opinions. Like, getting things out in the open. Oh, I want to get this out in the open. I'm not a swinger.

That was an inside joke for Lisa and I. Lisa's just like, don't love that. Don't love that. Can I not touch that? Can I not touch that? Can I not touch that? By the way, Whitney, you should really understand up comedy. Like I do. I just want to say that I am not a swinger. That's a joke. You can laugh now. But it's only a joke between me and Lisa. Lisa's big secret.

Race yourselves, everybody. She goes, I have extremely high goals for myself. Like, guys, I love that about myself. She goes, first she goes, I hate crying. I hate crying. But I love that about myself. Meaning that I love that I hate crying about. That's what I love about myself is that I hate crying. I love that about myself. She's like, I have always tried to be my best self.

And I'm not going to stop that for anyone, alright? I'm literally not going to stop. I love that about myself, that I don't stop. That's why I go through a drive- myself, that I don't stop. That's why I go through a drive-through so I don't ever have to stop. Okay. With me, she really loves herself. I wish I had that much confidence.

Or arrogance. So Mary's like, okay, Jen, what's your thing? She's like, okay. Can I get a spotlight? Thank you. Can I get a spotlight? Thank you. Can I get a close up on my shoe? Close up on my shoe? Okay.

My dad grew up with nothing in Tonga. He came to the U.S. to find a better life for his family, and I'm the oldest of six. In Tongan Polynesian culture, the oldest child has a lot of responsibility to always be perfect. And so it was hard growing up in Utah. I've always thought I was black. I'm very like, well, I literally did grow up black and I can tell you about it. It was hard, I've always thought I was black. So hard.

Where is like, um, this show. She's like, I'm gonna give you a few blinks right now. And so, Jen's like, I know what it's like to climb from the bottom and work five times this heart and that's why I'm passionate And when you see you're my friend then you're my friend and I may be crazy sometimes and I may go off on people But I only do it because it hurts me. Okay, it truly hurts and no one reciprocates like my dad taught me me okay it truly hurts and no one reciprocates like my dad taught me what no reciprocates what what are you talking about you're lucky they don't reciprocate because they'd be throwing you across the room yeah and in the side you hear these go I feel you I feel you that's a new variation I feel you

I feel you so yeah Jen's like I have a heart exterior and I will F you up I will F up F you up left and right and up and down and savers and backwards But I just want you to know why I do that. It's because I care so much and that's why I do it Because dad and respond every risk reciprocity and Tonga. That's why do it. Okay. There is like sometimes words can be deadly like a weapon and Just like I'm trying to explain myself. Okay, because the smallest action to me it cuts me deep like I have your back Okay, like I'm sorry for yelling you fuck your grandfather. Okay, I'm sorry. No, no she doesn't say that She tells me yeah, she doesn't she doesn't she tells me it is I'm sorry marative for yelling fuck you at you Yeah, well, I want to thank you for explaining where you where you're coming from wow so elegant

What an elegant that was she's so elegant. Yeah, she handled it. You know, she handled it very elegantly Yeah elegant that was so elegant she handled it you know she handled it very elegantly yeah that was good and Mary Mary tells us where's my apology I mean she called me a grandfather fucker that was cruel I love that love that can I touch to be continued? Yeah, we're just see how this plays out. Wow what a show I was I was super funny super funny my dog literally out he was sitting I was sitting on like a Recliner thing and he was sitting in front of my laptop and at one point they were fighting Jen was yelling about something and he popped his head above my laptop and just looked at me like what the fuck That photo was so cute. I've sat through so many episodes of things with you. What is this?

And now he's just sleeping behind you on that pillow. I'm so cute. Oh Did you to blanket did you put a blanket on him? No, that's just how it looks that just had the lighting makes it look like he's in a blanket? Did you put a blanket on him? No. That's just how it looks. That's just how the lighting makes it look. It looks like he's in a blanket. Drag the pillow over himself. It makes like a little nest. Okay, everybody. Thank you so much for being here.

We will be back either later in the day or tomorrow with Southern Charmed. The bonus will be up today. And then Monday we're coming back with Real Housewives of Potomac Tuesday is the start of Real Housewives of Atlanta. Okay. So we'll be back with that. Do you have anything to say other than,

it's my birthday, baby. It's my birthday. I love that. Thank you everyone for the kind words. And you know, just another year, that's all stay safe. Yeah another year another beer That's right another year another queer Bye everybody. Bye. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors Ain't no thing like Allison King Ashley subonie. She don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniela

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