Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC: The Ordeals on the Bus Go 'Round and 'Round

Episode Date: January 11, 2022

This week on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Meredith throws a cringey birthday for Seth, and then afterwards the women head out on a road trip where Jen and Lisa get into an unhinged screaming match. Perfection.For those of you who can't make the 2022 Golden Crappies Awards in-person this year, experience it live digitally from the comfort of your own home at momenthouse.com/wwcGet tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today on this very, very special day is none other. They're Mr. Ronny Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you? Well, how been doing? Good. How are you, baby?

Doing so well. Today is special, really just because it's always special when we get to hang out and talk. There's actually nothing special going on today. But that being said, I looked at the calendar and the crappies are around the corner. And in case you missed the announcement, we are making this, we're blowing it up. But the nominees came out on Friday. So nominations are open, voting is open. We've already had thousands of responses of people filling out the ballot. If you have not filled out your ballot yet, you can go to watchacrapins.com to make sure you fill out that ballot. We want everyone to vote.

There's a lot of nominations in every category, every lot of nominees in every category. And so you can actually vote multiple times. If you're really torn, just, you know, keep voting. It's okay, it's not an actual political event. So if you feel like there are two people who deserve a vote, then you can do it again. But that being said, the crappies are really around the corner. It's about two and a half weeks away.

And if you cannot be there in person, don't worry. We have a live digital experience Provided courtesy of moment house. You go to momenthouse.com slash wc or again Just go to our website you can get a ticket to the live digital experience and you can watch along with us If you're not in New York City So definitely do that because this is gonna be this is our biggest show ever This is it's huge. We've got some special guests lined up. But our 2022 Hunky Dory 10th anniversary tour is more than just the crappies.

That's what's starting it. We're gonna give a little reminder here. We haven't done this in a while, but we wanna give a reminder of the cities that we're gonna be going to over the next few months. Okay, so we're starting in New York. Then we're going to Asbury Park, Boston, Atlanta, Nashville, Orlando, San Diego, Los Angeles, St. Paul, Minnesota, Milwaukee, Chicago, Philadelphia, D.C. Pittsburgh, Denver, San Francisco, Detroit, Columbus, Cleveland, Houston, and we end it all in

Columbus Cleveland, Houston, and we end it all in Dallas, Texas. So please go to watchocrapins.com, get a ticket. We want to see all your faces. We miss you all. We're so excited to get back on the road. It's like, it's really so meaningful to us to have this 10th anniversary tour to celebrate 10 years of this podcast and all of you guys. So that's, that's the news, guys. Yeah. There you go.

A nice work being tonight. Thanks. Thanks. Over on Spotify. So join us for that Spotify green room. Get the app join us 7 p.m. Pacific 10 p.m. Eastern. We are going to be talking about a lot of fun stuff. A lot of this Mary stuff that's come out,

speaking of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. Oh my god. Yeah. One of Mary's cousins went on a YouTube show and just, you know, dragged Mary for a while. So that was fun. And Mary did not show up for the reunion taping of Salt Lake City.

So she's out of there. She's out. I'm telling you, I think I said it a few times during this season. I was like, I feel like we're gonna only have Mary for two seasons or so And we're gonna be like she's crazy and I feel like five years or six years down the line We're gonna be having this feeling of wow we What what a what a strange privilege it was that we had Mary M. Cosby on our televisions

I'm not saying it's a privilege because she's a good person or anything I'm saying it's a privilege because she is so unique and crazy that we get this access to it is totally fascinating. And so we should be enjoying and savoring these last moments that we have with her on television. Or we will send Jesus after you. So that being said, we are talking about Salt Lake City. And one last quick thing, a lot of people message us about Project Runway because the latest episode involved the designers, making reunion looks for Real Housewives,

and we can assure you we are recapping it. It'll be the next episode that's out. So it's a whole tight, it's gonna be out. Yeah, it's a coming. It's a coming, around the mountain. Coming out. Yeah, it's a coming. It's a coming around the mountain coming around the mountains and your team tool. Yeah But today we're at Salt Lake City A times Salt Lake City time So we open with a real housewives opening instead of you know in the middle of some fight or something So it's like everybody's going on with their day

You know Carlin wants eggs But dad's leaving and she doesn't want to burn the house down. Like I did with the paper towel roll. What the hell does that mean? I'm not sure. Don't get that child alone, okay? Do not leave Carlin alone. Yeah, what's happening in that household where things are burning down?

I also would like to get to the bottom of why every time we go to Jenny's house, there's like another sign outside that says, we love you or something. What is going on with those signs? At first, I just assumed it was a school project, but it feels like there's more and more of them. And if you go back to like the first or second episode of the season, Jenny actually brings one of those signs to Jen Shaw. So she has some sort of sign mandate and I'd like to know about it.

You know, I don't approve of family signs. I don't like them. The shut up. Tell your family to shut up. Okay, I already have to listen to your fucking family every time I go out to eat someplace. It isn't like $100 a plate. Okay, your kids are running around. You're crayonning all over the walls.

You can at least be quiet while I pass your yard. Okay, like, can I get some silence from you signed families? Okay, they're never quiet families who have signs in their front yard. Okay, can I get some silence from you sign families? They're never quiet families who have signs in their front yard. No, I think that the only thing worse than, actually, no, I think the signs are the worst. Like a message sign is pretty much the worst.

I was gonna say the only thing that's worse, but I'm gonna pull it back and say it's only second worst, are families that are really dedicated to holiday flags. Like, you know, a flag comes out, because it's Christmas, a flag comes out, because it's Easter, a flag comes out, because it's July 4th, a flag comes out,

because it's Arbor Day. Like, there's literally a flag for every occasion. I'm like, where are you getting all these flags? Why do you have all these flags? Why do you even have a flag, Paul? Why do you have a flag, Paul, over your door? Well, I think that's why, you know, it's like, oh, we have a flag, Paul. John, let's get some why, you know, it's like, oh, we have a flag pole.

John, let's get some flags. You know, your dad's really into flags. This year. Yeah, I mean, I don't mind a flag. I'm just saying that it's, some people are just like, so dedicated to their flag game that it gets annoying. I didn't even know there were Easter flags. I'm really only thinking of like one household

in my hometown, like this one house, that these people moved in and I swear, it was like no matter what the holiday was, okay, it could have literally been, you know, national, you know, stuck your toe day and they would have a flag of a toe up. You know, I'm like, really? This is very directed at one family

in the kind of flag people. I was gonna say, I live in a pretty crazy place and you know, I don't see that. I could use like a little Easter flag action, you know, because that one I really like because they're hiding shit from kids. So I like that holiday, that's a fun one. And for the record, I did just have a Cadbury cream egg a few days ago, because they're already on sale. And there you go.

So Carlene almost burned the house down, is the point. So then we go over to Meredith, and we're looking at the hard event you've been doing your father because it's gonna be, he'll be, boom, boom. Yeah, Meredith is on some sort of like a rooftop event space where there's a pool.

It's on the top of some kind of hotel that's surrounded by like condos or something and she is there with Brooks and someone else and there's sort of like checking out the area and she's like wow we'd have to have like we can put a one man band over there in the corner and we could put a dancer in the hot tub. Let me go let me go and toss the hot tub, let me go, let me go and toss the hot tub because we never had a conversation either way about how tall the dancer is. You know, I had to rewind that. I was like, did you just say we'll put the one man band?

I know. And the DJ and the hot tub, what the fuck, what the fuck kind of party is this? Is this, is there gonna be a guy who has like the drum and like the little the pedals and everything where he has like a symbol on his back Like a drum on his back and symbols and like an accordion So so then Meredith like that was really good. I felt like I was taken to a place Look forward to that everyone of the crappies. That's...

So then Meredith goes over to the hot tub and rolls up her pants and starts stepping in. And it just sort of tests how deep it will be. She's like, well, I guess if she stands on me, it's one step. She'll me, okay, which I'm sure every dancer loves that. Here you get to dance, but you cannot move off this time you'd ledge. It's a good luck with that. Yeah. Have fun in the pool dancing. And Brooks is like, but how can they never mind? It's not my party. I don't care. Brooks showing that like Blasey energy, he doesn't care. And yet he's there. So

um, then we go over Mary's house where she's showing her cousin, I forgot his name, but he's like the cousin contractor who is allegedly supposed to be converting this house from disgusting green carpeting to some sort of beautiful place. And we have not seen any progress whatsoever. So I'm literally nothing is done. Big Joe thing. Okay, big Joe, I'm gonna need more from you.

Yeah, so Mary brings them over to a cabinet because she wants like some updated trim on it or something. And inside the cabinet are plates from the grandma and she's talking about how like the plates are so nice. And then he like touches the cabinet and she's like, oh, you don't touch this. Those are, those are, those are our don't touch. You know that, you know that. Yeah, that's the wedge wood and he goes,

yeah, that's the wedge wood, that's right. Mary, she's like, do not touch it, do not touch it. And she, I like that Mary just wears suits at home. You know, it's like big Joe's coming over. Got a boss him around about the plate. I'm putting on a suit. That's so true. I never thought about that. She goes, Mary's like always about to shoot a local bank commercial just as a casual way. I don't think you can. Bank commercial. It goes, you know, I collect things and people are like, you're disjointed and I'm like, no, it's called class.

I don't know if that's the proper use of disjointed, but I work class really. I also don't feel like they're on a spectrum. Like normally you say that is slavently, and you're like, no, it's called class. I don't think you'd say disjointed. It's like, I'm not disjointed. I have class.

I also don't know if you talk about people being disjointed. Do you? I think it's like, freezes. Maybe double-joined. I don't know. It's like always trying to figure out what the hell she's talking about. Maybe she met.

People say you're double-joined. You just don't really know what's happening in Barry's head. She sort of, she kind of talks like she's iPhone speech dictation, right? Like when you say something and the iPhone gets most of the sense, right? But usually throws in a word that wasn't expected to be there. It's kind of like, I had a wonderful day today. I went to the roast pig and got some groceries and you're like, wait a second, roast pig. I know it takes longer to go back and correct all the stuff that she messes up.

I've kind of an abusive relationship with Sierra. I'm not going to lie. I emotionally abuse her. So yeah, I'm some people call me disjointed, but I say no, that's called class. Okay. I guess it's very sad. Yeah. Yeah, okay, emotionally abused her. So yeah, I'm some people call me disjointed. I say no, that's called class.

I mean, that was close. That was close, Siri. It was close, Siri. Siri is like that kid you're always bitching about that suddenly behaves when there's company around. Oh, is, I'm like, Siri, you know we close, Siri. Okay. Serious. Serious like that kid you're always bitching about that suddenly behaves when there's company around. Always. I'm like, Siri, you know we're doing a show here. Stop acting like this is how you always dictate.

I know we're doing this during this. No, Sarah's in my series just like, I mean, if you're trying to find it. Yeah. So then we go over to a golf place called Mulligan's, which seems like a strange place. It's a strange name to a golf place called Mulligan's, which seems like a strange place, this is a strange name for a golf place. It's like naming your batting cage, strike out.

You have another term. Just like so. Or a basketball, like a basketball court called Airballs. It's like really not aspiring for greatness. A shooting range called humist. Wow, just when you thought golf couldn't get wider. Let's go to a fun like sitting golf. Wow, these are some dads.

This is some dad. This is definitely some dad energy. This dad energy on a very sad, a very sad dad golf course, by the way. This is a sad golf course. It looked like it was sort of like a glorified, you know, highway median. What was this thing?

Yeah, you shouldn't have traffic, like, freeway traffic coming right by you on the car. I'm safe for the cars, you know? Like how many people have died because a golf ball has just like slammed into their windshield on the fucking freeway or wherever they are. I was so suspected. This like patchy ass golf course. I mean, I understand, you know understand Salt Lake City is thawing out because there were various scenes of snow

and of greenery or whatever. Endless and we've seen many patchy golf courses on the real housewives of New Jersey. But this was just kind of like, I was like, is this a golf course? Or do they just put up a sign? I mean, I didn't know what this was. So Seth is still on his golf as her man kick.

And he's like, if I had a choice between golfing with Meredith or a guy friend, Meredith would completely understand my guy choice. She just doesn't love the game. Okay, Jack Nicholas, calm down over there for crying at lab. Seth, you need to be coped up to play golf even. Like, serious, does Seth have a scene ever that he's not like, I would do in 20 bucks a whole,

love you one, man. Seth is so trying to be less s'marmy this season that he's just actually wound up doubling down because he's so on. Like he shows up because he's like, what's up guys, hey, you know, a bad day of golf, beats a good day of work. Am I right, everyone?

Am I right? So they come up with this wacky way to send the ladies away on their next vacation. Um, the losing cart, they split into teams and the losing cart pays for this trip from Mother's Day for their wives. Who the hell sends their wife away from Mother's Day without telling them to send me Mother's Day?

Get away from the entire family. Get away from your kids on Mother's Day. It's like, well, so to celebrate you being a wonderful mother, we're going to send you off on a trip with some other women who you have historically fought with. Enjoy. Oh, so yeah, that's their big plan. And then Seth, they're talking about, you know, like Seth's party coming up.

And like, does he need anything? Is there anything he expects? Any presence? And he goes, cleavage encouraged. Cleavage encouraged. Make sure that the message gets heard in your house Please just in cleavage encouraged yeah Cuz he's talking about how much you like sweet knees boobs

So in Salt Lake City, do you just not punch guys in the face? Yeah, something you do there cuz you don't talk like this where I come from a Love your wife's wreck yeah Yeah, and later on at first. I'm like this where I come from. I love your wife's wreck. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and later, and at first I'm like, okay, this is just like a passively disgusting kind of moment where he's just trying to be super broy and he's just missing the mark.

But later on, when they show a montage of Seth pointing out Whitney's boobs in front of everyone in public, it is like horrifyingly disgusting. Yeah. How does, how has Justin not punched him in the face? Like, this is, that's his wife. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not really sure how he's getting by with that. And they didn't, they hadn't shown those scenes before, right? I think that they didn't bring your rack over.

There were a few times, but like, I think I just blocked them out because I'm just really not keen on. Like of the things that I'm trying to keep in my brain these days, sets, thoughts on Whitney's boobs are like not high in the priority list. I'm just still trying to like memorize all the lyrics into the woods, okay? And I'm struggling there.

Okay, yeah, let's set them there. Boob's boobs and meth is not boobs. Parsley, pepper, scavenger, sorry. Get the fair, get some. Get some waterfronts and pedalfronts and ladders. There are boobs in Whitney's chest.

So then we go to Heather at a spot with Jen in a big fur coat. And she's like, this was supposed to be a sporty spa day, Jen. And she's like hunting is a sport.

I just kill you know, I didn't even kill this thing that would be fair. spa day, Jen. And she's like hunting is a sport. I just killed, you know, I didn't even kill this thing that would be fair. I found it on the side of the golf freeway. All right, gutted it and put it on. So Heather is like, you know, when I was growing up, whenever I needed it, whenever I had a friend of need, we just like, take a casserole over or get a group of women to come over and like clean her house, but I'm not in the mood to bake and I'm not in the mood to clean. So I'm going to take her to Spadae and said, yeah, Vicki Gumbelsen kind of ruined the casserole when she faked a boyfriend cancer. So yeah,

Spadae is, let's go to the spa. Exactly. So they go out to, they walk out to this like this deck and there's a helicopter. Like it's clearly a rescue helicopter because it's a red helicopter it's hovering over a mountain and now there's another like, well the paparazzi's around.

I think there's like probably someone who's like got a broken leg on a sea slope, but that's cool that you think the maps are out for you. Yeah, Seth tried to get his golf ball out of a gutter on the fucking freeway. Okay. It's an emergency rescue. It's like ambulances are like zooming by. Wow, look at the paparazzi just just hitching ride on ambulances now. They're so desperate.

That's such a housewives thing to say is it's like the mailman passes. Oh, there's a paparazzi. Just get me this time, sucker. Well, it's very much. It very much reminds me of Carolina Fleming and Lisa London when she brought the women to Denmark and there is one guy, one photographer there. She's like, ladies, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for all the paparazzi. You must understand that this is not normally how it happens. All this disruptive paparazzi. I just want to live my life. Blueberries, strawberries.

of the movies, the movies, the movies. Yeah, the berries. Also, it's so typical of Jen to be arrested and a dieted for massive fraud. And her husband's scenes are all about her downsizing. So she goes to a spa address to know for, I mean, perfect. Yeah, exactly. So they toast to it. And Jen is very happy because it's not, you know, this is what she was expecting last season when they, when they've one took her to quote unquote, Ted Bundy's

campground. And that was the spot they went to run like tubs in the dirt. So Heather says, you know, every time you try to have a good time, it just always comes back to drama. I mean, Jennings lunch and Whitney's party. There's so much to discuss. Like, what did you think of Meredith defending you? I'm like, I love how Heather's saying how like,

I love how Heather is saying, like, what a travesty it is that every time Jen tries to relax, drama always comes up while she's actively trying to bring drama into the spa day. Yeah, also the waiter brings over some food for them and they're like, here, I'll put the food on this table for you guys when you're ready. And there's like, no, we'll just eat it here in the hot tub. Excuse me. You know, somebody showed up when there was like a soggy, rich cracker on their nipple or something. Yeah, how the

fucking hot tub. This is not your personal hot tub. Well, we're seeing all sorts of innovative uses of hot tubs on this episode. So, like, maybe this is just like expanding our view of what you can and can't do in them. Yeah. The mushrooms. Here comes one right now. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on.

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And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So, Janice, like, well, I was so confused because she told you guys to be a better friend, but she's not even my friend. And how they're like, um um and were you invited to Seth's party God I love her feelings in a hot tub God I hate when you're trying to relax and then there's just drama

So were you invited to that party that we all were invited to? She goes no, and I was like what what what what wait wait she didn't text call or anything Heather Did you hear Meredith speech? You aren't gonna invite me, no, right? Oh, apparently no one has listened to that speech because Meredith asks every episode now. Did anyone listen to me? You and I made an ultimatum for the trailer of the show.

And so, Jen is like, you know, it feels like Jen Shaw has moved on and it seems like Meredith hasn't moved on. Okay, like you don't like me just because like you're an evil ass bitch who pissed off because pissed off because her membership at Facetune ran out. Okay, got it. I'm poor Jen. I wish for Jen, you know, like I'm not Jen's biggest fan. This is a Meredith moment. Yeah, I'm not. Jen's a fan. I really do wish she had a better gay in her diary room. Cause I don't like that one.

I was top tier for Jen. And this, well for Jen, right? It's like a different, it's like a sliding scale. Speaking of golf, this is Jen's handicap, okay? With that, you actually did well. But what was I gonna say about Steepa Jen Shah? This is why she doesn't like you and wanna be around you.

It's like you say everything's fine and then one second later, you're like, that evil ass bitch, and face him is expired. That's true, that is true. So Heather's like, I mean, have you done anything to lately to piss her off? Did you like anything?

She's like, no, nothing. Like, we worked everything out. And I think that Meredith is just treating me differently because of the accusations and allegations. And I feel like I'm a scapegoat, okay? Mary has had so many hurtful things, but people don't call her out for it. Well, that's true.

Like, definitely Mary gets more of a pass than Jen does. But Jen also, she was party to someone who, who shoplifted for Meredith store. And she did go after Meredith's child. I mean, that is not nothing. Yeah, it's not nothing. It's not nothing. And stop it if it's boring.

Okay, you suck enough without bringing Mary into it. Okay. Mary will get hers. Hopefully. Well, I guess not to escape to before she did. But Heather's like, it's just the strangest phenomenon that, you know, Heather Meredith is loyal to Mary. And we thought she would be like that with Lisa. But now Meredith and Lisa are each other's number one. So it's just it's just like it's a lot kind of so glad there's no drama today. She's like cheese with she's like, look, the cheese whiz is so much better. If you spray it into one of the hot jets and then put it into your mouth. Look, if you time it correctly, if you spray the cheese whiz into a hot jet, it looks like the Bellagio fountain.

So just like that is not in line with Meredith. I mean, Meredith is all about supposedly what's right and wrong. Come on, you know Mary M Cosby is wrong. And I love Jen Shah's dedication to always saying Mary M Cosby. Even later in the episode when she is screaming and losing her mind, she still says Mary M Cosby every time.

She never just says Mary. Yes. And so she's saying that all of this is unfair. And Mary said racially insensitive things, or when she's called out on saying shit like that, she just leaves. And Heather says, well, that's what happened in fail. She didn't want to address any of our questions about her church. And then we were so traumatized about what just happened with you. Shut up with your trauma times. Yeah. And then she goes, and then Mary said to Lisa, look what happens when you mess with my church. You go to jail. And she's like, is she referring to me? She was, would Mary have anything to do with these accusations or the fact that they're public?

The fact that Whitney and Heather are working over time to bring this conspiracy theory that they've hatched to life is a kind of amazing and hilarious, be very sad to see how this is taking hold. And did I just get from A to C? Well, whatever it is, A, B, and C, I approve of it, but I also think it's like hilariously clunky Like I can't believe how how hard they are trying to How the lack of finesse that they have in trying to turn the other girls against Meredith and Mary right now But it seems to actually be working. Yes

So I can't do you think they had anything to do with it? Or at least it, it becoming public because Mary was not there on the bus to bail. And she called me that morning and she's making these statements like, this is what she made happen. I mean, she basically said she did it. She basically admitted to doing it. So she made it. She confessed. Remember when Mary confessed?

Remember when JFK junior was going to come back, but then Mary was like, don't come back. So we didn't come back. We should ask her about that. And Jen's like, wow, girl. And Jen is so easy to wind up, too, right? Because at first, Jen's like, what?

What are you even talking about when she said, yeah. You know, she said, if you mess with my church, you go to jail. And Jen goes, are they referring to me? How many of you are going to jail? Jen. How many of you? Okay.

But, um, Jen's is so easy to rile up because all Heather has to do is put this in her head and look what happens by the end of the episode. It's true. Jen's like, whoa, girl, you know what? Honestly, I wouldn't put anything past her because it's very coincidental. I mean, Meredith doesn't come to the beauty lab and then Mary cancels 30 minutes before. I don't know how anybody knew,

I mean, that we were even at beauty lab. That's still my favorite line of logic that they have. I don't know how anyone would have known. I'm like, first of all, it's the FBI and Homeland Security. They somehow, somehow they can figure out if you're on a bus, waiting on a bus outside of Beauty Lab. It's not like you are hiding in some cave in the Northern Territories of Canada. Okay, you're in one of the locations that your phone has probably geolocated or geotagged many times. Second of all, your phone has probably geolocated or geotagged many times. Second of all, there was also an entire production

and I'm sure it was as simple. Sure was as simple as that Homeland Security lady being like, hello, this is Dushka with Homeland Security. Where's Jan Shah? Oh, Beauty Lab. You know, production is gonna tell Homeland Security exactly where because they want to film it It's like the easiest find. Do you scoves is probably actually nice like okay

Well, let us know when you are done with filming and we come arrest her They're like no girl get over here. They'll be here in 11 And the Heather goes yeah, how did they even know you're a beauty lab? How how in the world? How would they know it seems like Mary and Meredith know you were a beauty lab? How, how in the world, how would they know? It seems like Mary and Meredith know more than any of us. I'm like, what? There's one thing that has nothing to do with the other. Gen-Shot is in a very easily findable place.

Not even a word, findable, but it's The most easily discovered person on the run and now they're going to make it seem like Mary and Meredith like ratted her out to Duska. It's just, it's so ridiculous. It's so good. And the fact that everybody just goes along with it is even more hilarious. So then we get more non-hom music. So I don't know what's going on with the music department today. If they sent the Trixi Monoclackle Choir on break, but I need some hot music. Well, what is this like? No, it should be hot, hot, hot, hot. What do you do?

You can't just change up the soundtrack. It's very surprising. So it's Seth's party. And Meredith is in pointy or shoulder pads unusual, like really, really pointy ones. And Seth is laying it on thick. It's like, you look beautiful, honey. You look so beautiful.

It's like, oh, thank you. You look very handsome. Mwah. And he's like, this is going to be the greatest party ever. And I haven't even started yet I'm gonna treat you like my second life all night long. Let's have a slow Slow kiss as in we're gonna come into each other's faces very very slowly and then just a quick little pack on the lips Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I mean he's gonna sunglasses in the elevator

He's like yeah, let's do it in the elevator. Can we stop this thing? Ugh! Ugh. So she's like, gambling on the strongholds in the bathroom and the pants, and you know, it's been a long time since I've grown him a brun thing. And I didn't knew for me.

So I didn't know for me. And I'm so excited to do a lot for me. And it all goes well. Hey, I might just ride the momentum and give a throw birthday party for my dear sweet toddler Brooks. I already contacted some people who can do some pin the tail of the donkey and maybe even a peek a boomer. Oh, man. Who knows?

Bouncing how someone. So we see the party and Seth is talking to this group of guys who were his brothers and he's telling someone, yeah, these are my brothers. And this one and I, we came out of the same mind's budget. Jay. Gosh. And then he's like, just learn how like the youngins say fire a lot. So he goes, he's like, whoa, Chloe, because Chloe's his daughter's Chloe fire, fire alert, fire alert. Happy birthday, dad.

Brooks, fire, fire. There's a dancer over there. She's being stupid, but she's fire. Fire. Dad, stop it. Oh, a Meredith has put pictures of like Seth with a hot model body pasted onto him. Did she put pictures around and Brooks is like, did you see this picture of you dad? He's like, yeah, no one understands. This is what you look like when you get separated and go back out into the world.

Gotta keep those pecs fresh. You know what I'm saying? Get out. I was like, if my life crisis were a photo, this is what it would be. Yeah. Good one, Chloe. You're so funny. Thanks, Brooke.

You're so funny too. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You're awesome. So then Heather and Whitney are talking and Milo, the dog is there. And so Heather's like, oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, get to see this dancer. And she basically looks like a figure skater who just like her, it looks like her feet are kind of cemented to that front step footstep or the, that first step of the hot tub because she can't go any deeper because then she'll be in the hot tub. So she has to just stand on that ledge. And she's just sort of like doing hand

motions and and it's just like, I think they're trying to have like a really chic kind of Los Angeles party moment, but it's full day time and she's like dancing next to that metallic railing that's in every kind of public hot tub. Yes, yes. I think you guys maybe take the lap dividers out before you put her in. I mean, she is. There's just some random old guy in there doing water or whatever that's by himself. That's what it looks like.

We had to pay extra our claws. I'm a bull. Fire. Fire. So Heather goes over to talk to Jen and she's like, John's not coming, but the dog is here. And Whitney's like, why isn't Jen coming? Is there something else going on?

Maybe there is a bigger picture that we don't know about? Or she just didn't want to invite Jen. She hates Jen. She hates Jen. Okay, guys. She hates Jen. So then Lisa and John shop. Hi, hi, oh, hi. Oh my God, I was going to wear those pants pants, but in blue glad I didn't because you look like a trash bag gross She's wearing my cop pink like lady pants or whatever. Oh, so Heather's mad that they're being fake with each other Lisa and Meredith

She's like, oh my god, they were just at each other's throws and now they're air kissing and hugging like nothing ever happened. And it bugs me. I mean, you and Jen, look at you and Jen. Yeah. How is this any different than you and Jen? I just don't get it. Do they need to have a smore killing moment on a sterno fire in the middle of an ice cave for this to make any sense to you? Also, like it's just called being polite at a party. It's a birthday party. It's called being an adult. And you can still be mad at someone,

be perfectly civil at a party so that way you have a fun time. You know? Yeah. It's called manners. It's called manners. So Lisa is like, wow, you're dancers having a really good time.

Love that. Love that for her. And Mary walks in and she's like, she just gets a slip on her face like, and then she stands at the door alone. Like she walks in and then she just stands there like, great, I'm alone. I'm alone at a party. This is great. Like walk over to people say hello. Well, and then she's standing by the buffet. And so Jenny walks up with Dewey and Mary. They're both like, the both women sort of like just ignore each other.

And here he goes, I'm ignoring Jenny because Jenny deserves to be ignored today. So Dewey tries to make nice. He's like, so Mary, how was her day? She goes, I don't know, yeah. Ask me in an hour. It's like, okay. She's like, it's a mac and gum really big.

And she looks around for someone else to talk to. And she says that she came because Seth invited me herself and she really thought that invitation. So then we goes, we, we goes, what's wrong with me? It's Monday, sorry. We go over to Heather dancing with the gay and Brooks learning about oysters. He's like, wait, you're supposed to put the shell in your mouth.

Oh, that made me very uncomfortable, mom. Ew, like what sort of stupid fish and you just have their shell in my mouth. That's the most ridiculous thing ever. I'm sorry, were you being bullied by the one? No more, I'm sorry, were you, they bullied my father? Listen, I couldn't have Sam in here, because I'm basically still pregnant with you.

You're so young and I just didn't want it to poison you. How gave my little Bruxy an oyster? Don't you know he's not on solace? Yeah, okay, come over here. Mom, he's got some Gerber for you. But only solenoids that are approved for my toddler chicken bongo's when he's on his vegan time. Does anyone's anyone seen my carrot puree, it's very important that my son gets his dinner. So Meredith and Mary sit down and Mary's like, well, I've just, I've been enjoying your dog. He jumped on me. So I've got his paws on me. So what's that?

Basically, that's Mary code for listen, bitch. You're untrained, little disgusting, dirty animal just jumps all over me and you're lucky I don't have other friends on this show. So I have to talk to you. Spend it out so I can leave. Yeah, pretty much. And so marriage is saying how people shut. Mary doesn't think people are being real friends and everything. And Meredith saying how like the other night she goes, um, so well, you know, you know, you know like the other night she goes, um, so well, you know, you know, the other night when the woman were talking to you, it felt to me like it wasn't a tag. Rather than someone trying to have a discussion with you, so you have growth. Yeah, you know, a lot. I can think something that's culturally

offensive to you, because I don't know what happens. You know, Johnny's feelings are valent But I just don't get the shoe thing. I mean if she says it's culturally So I'm asked to like replace her batteries again So the Mary is like she's like well if it's culture offensive Then you shouldn't have taken the shoes when I give them to you and then Mary give that evil smile Mary has such that has this evil smile that she does when she Basically makes a point that she's really satisfied with and it's such an evil smile

So she does that and she goes I mean you should be sensitive to your culture then But if I offended you, I'm sorry because that's not what I intended to do. So it's Jenny. It's Jenny's fault that she was that that there was a culturally insensitive moment with the gift giving thing. And Meredith is like, oh, so you're saying you told her that the shoes were for Jan. She was, no, I never told her. Then that doesn't make sense, Mary.

How would she know it was culturally offensive if she didn't know it was a regift? That's right. So the Mary, of course, is like, I never told her. I told Lisa, think, think, think, think, think, Mary, I said, America's, oh, so Lisa, tall, Jen, yeah, I think I figured this out. Finally, okay, let's just piece this together a little bit more.

Can you spell it out for me anymore clearly? There it goes. Yes, and that's when the culture of sensitivity was pending. It's like, what the hell? So Meredith is like, why would Lisa tell her man? And we get a weird sound effects. It's like, so Mary is like, well, Lisa, baby, baby.

Lisa's jealous of you and me and me and you. And she's trying to paint me as a me, you, jealous, jealous me, you now, because there's a sprained on you me relationship. Her, me, you, me. And Mary is like, Mary thinks that Lisa's jealous, because she can't deliver the honesty that Mary and Meredith have with each other.

And that she said that Lisa has a vindictive way of pretending to care about you, but she's really all about Lisa. And so Meredith goes, well, I feel like to go on the great Durant Kemsley, all these little dicks coming from her, just little dicks every single day little days. I mean, even her saying she needs to maintain a friendship with Jen because she needs

to be a good person was the implication that I am a bad person. I feel like there's a bigger story going on. I can do that too, okay? Look, I'm going to show my just grovel with this entire shenanigan by opening my mouth super wide, like wait for it. Geez, at least I can see that Meredith and Lisa are friends because they both unhinged their jaws to open their mouth when they're shocked, like they're cute. Like did you guys grow up playing like who can catch the popcorn in their mouth? Close your mouth. So now we have like a little montage of Teddy just terrorizing the party looking for food everywhere and people just like chewing the dog away like get away from my plate. And

then there's like the women all get together for this very sad rendition of Happy Birthday to Seth. And then Seth gets on the mic. He's like, I believe that Doe has an announcement to make. So Doe gets on there. And he's like, um, just want to say, uh, thank you ladies, because you all gave us children. Some of you more children than others Intent but as a sign of appreciation all of us especially John and I because we lost the golf game

We're gonna give you guys a gift for Mother's Day Thankfully, I won the second round of the game and the prize is a new sister wife. So sorry. I had to hear it like this any Yeah, so basically he's like John booked a villa for you guys in Zion. And they're all like, oh, thank you. A fourth trip to somewhere local because Jen can't leave the state. Yeah. Sounds fun. Thanks guys. So Jen, he when and they're like you're leaving Monday. She's wow a Monday trip and are we inviting Jen on this? And he's like well Shreef is part of our team as well. So so yes. So Meredith gives a little spiel. She goes, hugely for Mother's Day. I love breakfast and bad spa time. Maybe

a quiet moment where I can read Tom's the train to my little adorable child Brooks. The last thing I was thinking about was celebrating Mother's Day with Mama Shire. So then we go over to the shop. I don't know, Shale. What do we call this one? Does this one have a name?

It's a shot to, I think. Okay, the shot shall A2. So we call this one? Does this one have a name? It's a Shawshall too, I think. Okay, the Shawshall A2. So we go over there with Jen and coach having the saddest scene ever. Coach, I think it's just gonna run. I'm just waiting. I mean, I think I haven't been sure about coach than in this one.

Every time you see stories like, Hi baby, hi, you okay? Got a drip drip on your lip lip? Come on, let me up you baby. Choo-choo back and cheese coming in your mouth. You gotta eat baby. Come on. Yeah, we, I mean, he, we picked up on this last season that he

infantilizes her very deeply and it's even more blatant now. So they, uh, Jen is like, baby, I have a surprise for you. Look, this is our homework for couples therapy. He's like, uh, wait, it says you're how to forge a fake passport. Oh, whoops, sorry, that's for some other homework. We're gonna paint you to express how we feel about our spouse.

He's like, okay, look, I'm already done. I've painted a picture of you not throwing glassware at people, baby. Wow, look at that. Just blank. Baby, did you just paint the top golf logo? I'm your spouse. I am not top golf. So she's like, I'm my best student ever in all my therapist sessions because now like with this court thing I need all the help and support I can get. He's like, but the assignment was just to like express ourselves, but we're going to do it by painting.

It's like, okay, you're the best student, but you don't do the homework even close to how it's asked for. So like, they want us to talk. So let's paint. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So, um, uh, the, so coach is like, uh, so how did, how's your house hunting going? And we see that two days earlier,

Jen was looking at houses with Carrie, who was like, she was on season one. She has like these BDIs and it's just like, clearly was part of the original Sizzle Reel for Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Bucca Cut, and she's still like furious about it. So her revenge is that she's taking Jen to small tube bedroom houses. And Jen is like, you know what, my stuff and coach's still like furious about it. So her revenge is that she's taking Jen to small two bedroom houses.

And Jen is like, you know what, my stuff and coach's stuff are not gonna fit in this closet. And Kerry goes, you're absolutely right. But it will fit the stuff that you're gonna be allowed to keep from this is all second time. So enjoy that, okay. So she's like, but there's only two bedrooms. I mean, this is clearly not the one. Okay. And coaches like, yeah, but it's been such a stressful

period for you, baby. You know, but I talked to my man, big Justin. And as you know, I wasn't able to make the golfing event, but I know that the girls are going to make a trip to Zion. You know, if anyone to do that, baby if you want to go to Zion. She's like, I'm invited. He's like, yes, because, you know, I asked the guys and I'm very sure you're invited, baby. But Seth had a party and we weren't invited to that. He's like, but you and Meredith have been feuding. Yeah, but we haven't been feuding. She just all of a sudden,

I think it's strange after this whole thing happened because, well, you know, you know, you just felt weird about it. about it that's okay listen I really begged hard for them to take you on this trip to get you out of my hair so you gotta go you gotta go yeah and if she chose to invite us if she chose not to invite us that's on her okay so let's look at our art now what is your saying and not then I'll tell you what mine says. And she's like, our love is so strong and eternal, and we are so blessed. And it also, like if you read it, it says,

love strong eternal, father, best friend, Muslim blessed. Yeah. What are you married? And that, like, this one gets my right sentence on a campus. I feel like they probably have to write down words of like, like, aspects that they love of each other.

So then Shreef is like, oh baby, that's so sweet. I love yours. That's like so sweet. Okay, mine's not that good. I painted a little dog in the corner and there's a beach and Radio Shack and Vaz, Dornop. Shreef, are you just paying the things you're saying around the room?

Yes. Oh. So she's I, you just pay the things you're saying around the room. Yes. Oh, so she's like, okay, well, let's have these dry and then we can show the boys. And he's like, no, we're not gonna do that, baby. No, so now we go back to the party. And Whitney has lighting candles on a cake that's in the shape of two boobs that even have nipples and everything.

I'm married to this like, I think this might be a gift for you, honey. Then she, her jaw is like literally touching her toes. She's like, and Whitney's like, I know you have an appreciation for my cleavage. And then we see this clip of him multiple times being like, oh God, I love your cleavage. Hey then we see this clip of him multiple times being like,

oh God, I love your cleavage. Hey guys, I've been asking the, I've been asking Meredith to get the Whitney augmentation. Hey Justin, a speech at your party. Can I get the plastic surgeons number? Cause this is art and his pureest form. Like literally disgusting, disgusting.

So then what needs to kind of like making this speech is like, I thought I'd give you a mouthful, so I'd never have to hear it again, mouthful. It's in you and oh. So then Mary's like, I mean, if you're gonna bring a rack, bring, Meredith's rack, don't bring your own. I mean, she doesn't think Meredith's rack is better bring a rack, bring, Meredith's rack, don't bring your own. I mean, she doesn't think Meredith's rack is better.

I do, I think Meredith's rack is better. I'm like, I'm like, when do we break it to Mary that the cake is not actually anyone's rack? It's just a cake that was shaped in two bowls. Oh, so then Seth goes for the cake. He like puts a towel over his head or something and just starts like motor boating the cake. And then people for the cake. He like puts a towel over his head or something and just starts like motor boating the cake. And then people eat the cake.

Well, no, but then he motorboats it. He motorboats it and like, okay, funny. But then he actually goes and puts his tongue on it and starts licking it and it's like, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, it's, and it was not like he was putting the tongue like slathering like a dog. He just put the tip of his tongue

and was doing like little circles. I'm like, oh my god, like, hey, this is gross. I mean, you're doing this in front of your kids, you know, I'm babies. And then on top of that, like you said, people are eating this cake and you're like slathering your disgusting tongue

on top of it. Ugh. Yeah, you're gross. You're grosser than everybody. So Lisa, we cut to Lisa talking to some guys and she's like, I'm not my, how many York girls? I'll say I love Chicago. And she Lisa talking to some guys and she's like, I'm a my, I'm a New York girl, but also I love Chicago.

And she's talking to stuff the brothers and one of them is like, and what about this guy talking about John? And she's like, oh, actually, he dated my sister, but they didn't have sex. Yeah, he kissed her a couple of times. Yeah, when my sister, my sister found out that we're engaged. Let's just say she probably didn't say some nice things about me, okay? She was sort of like a spoiled coyote, spoiled coyote.

So Lisa stole her sister's boyfriend and married him. I mean, the fact that this is only brought up on season two in passing is pretty, it shows you how pretty crazy the show is. I feel like it was maybe mentioned season one, and we just sort of forgot about it. I don't know. Wow. But so much happens that we don't even forget that part.

So then we go over to Heather Whitney and Meredith talking and Heather's like, did you think of inviting John tonight? It's like, I'm now. And Heather's like, well, I just, I feel like it was two steps forward at when he's event. And I'm, I'm scared that this is going to really hurt Jen's feelings. I mean, I think coach and Seth have a brochure and it was like a loophole. Well, for both Seth and I is very problematic.

What's gone on from Jen to our family. We've been terrorized, traumatized, and overall brittle. We hurt by her. But is there more to this story that we need to know so that we know what with dealing? Uh, rewind. I was like another tribe, please. I I can get this and then Meredith just puts on her big sunglasses and the music's like We've got another crazy mystery, right? She put on sunglasses when I was talking to her Did she not want me to see her true intentions because eyes are the gateway to the soul or maybe she's a Terminator and if I look too hard, I'd see the red dot in the eyeballs. Did she just want me to see things shady? Because that is how

it works when somebody else wears sunglasses. You get shade. So sunglasses are things that are sold at her boutique. And her boutique is where Jen Shaw's assistant stole something from so she telling us she didn't invite Jen shop because she stole something else from your boutique I don't know hmm she's like we don't want to Heather please finish my sentence Heather's like we don't want to be uncomfortable is what we're saying yeah is there more that we don't know about and Meredith goes wow of course I've said a lot all around me and I do have sunglasses on. And she is a person who's in a lot of pain. And I don't know that I want to do anything that will inflict more pain on one foot now, on one foot now. Now, inflicting more pain is very fun when it's a pool dancer.

I think that Meredith is putting that lot to use, giving work around to not answer the question. That's clearly states that I'm going to have to get a subpoena because lawyer remember the beginning of the ends because I said lot degree degree. So I'm say the subpoena now subpoena To get information. I'm like she's not Sustainability You may now wise Why is this her being like lawyerly they said is there more storage because more of the store? Orange goes, yeah, of course there is.

I've already said a lot. Like, I don't think that's like really. She just like, yeah. There's more of the store. But the best part is Whitney just open your eyes really wide and kind of pointing at the camera. Like she's really on one now, you know, every single time. So then Seth starts taking off his clothes

and jumping in the pool. And everybody's like, oh my god, it's so fun. They clothes and jumping in the pool and everybody's like, oh my god, it's so fun. They all start jumping in the pool. And Lisa, of course, Handley has a body suit on. Yeah. So don't push me. Don't push me.

I'm gonna suit. I'm gonna suit. Oh, conveniently, I wore a bathing suit just in case this was gonna happen. And Mary's the only one who was like, I'm not jumping in those water because I have an Alexander McQueen outfit on, and it's not made for a pool. And I actually felt bad for Meredith because I don't know what Meredith's dress was, but I just had to imagine it was also not meant for a pool, and it's probably ruined. Yeah.

Yeah, I don't know. Fucking Meredith is so good. That outfit is so crazy. It's like another star track. It's very star track. It's like star track, star search, star wars. Anything that starts with a star, that's what it is. All wrapped together.

So Seth is like, this is the best birthday party I've ever had since I was in the balls in McDonald's. Like why do you even make McDonald's sound gross like that now? Just say you're in the, like when you were a kid at the ball pit or something like that, like the balls of McDonald's. It's like, oh, and then you're ruining McDonald's. Oh, so then everybody's packing,

getting ready to go for the trip and Jenny's talking to Carl and again about making food. And Carl was like, could you please leave me the recipe on Mac and cheese? I can never remember, mother. ready to go for the trip and Jenny's talking to Karlin again about making food and Karlin's like, could you please eat me the recipe on mac and cheese? I can never remember mother. It's on the package. How are you going to get into Princeton if you're nine years old and you can't even see that there's a recipe on a mac and cheese box? How can you make a volcano, but you can't make mac and cheese. Okay. So then we go to Jen and she's like, this is what happens when I pack myself. I don't really know what she's talking about. And yeah, Whitney calls things. Yeah, I don't really know what that.

I guess she, yeah, maybe that's it that she's actually doing it herself. So Whitney caught face times her. My Whitney's like, I am good. I am just packing and I saw your text about the psycho, Domeo party in Zion. Listen, I don't know what psycho is, but Heather really loves me. So bring a lot. And it was funny because I was wondering why Jen was packing some braille because when she's like, oh, this is what happens when I have to pack on my own. I'm like, yeah, you are bringing some

braille to Zion. So yeah, maybe you do need a stylist. But then it turns out that she wants to have a Cinco de Mayo party. And so, Jen says then Jen starts shaking maracas and he's like, oh, no, this is going to go in a bad direction. Sure enough, she's like, like hooker Racha, like hooker Racha. I'm like, oh dear. Well, Salt Lake City, I mean, they're really staying true to form here. It's just really funny that this comes directly or like two scenes after Jen was saying, and then her culturally insensitive thing she's doing. And then she whips out a sombrero and sliver Racas.

And Whitney at last episode saying, can we all stop seeing culturally insensitive things? Like when you said, Mexican thugs, can we stop that? And then this episode, she's like, La Cucaracha, La Cucaracha. Okay. Oh, so then we go to Zion travel day and everybody's getting on the bus and Port Kevin, the driver is here again. Yeah. Oh my God. How did this guy not run for the hills? Maybe he's the mole. So Kevin so Kevin's there and what needs like did you think do you think we're gonna have as exciting a drive as last time? He's like, please, please. So people are getting on board. And when he's sitting

in the same corner that she was last time, and she's like, Jenny, do you have deja vu? And Jenny's like, yeah, this is like PTSD. It's like the same bus, the same driver, the same people. Although there are no lifesavers on this one. So I guess it's a little different. Yeah. It doesn't smell like big Macs in here. So Jen's, Jen comes with her maracas and she's in that kind of mood. We're sick. Look at me having fun. I'm having so much fun. Yeah, some positive. I love it. I'm having a cooking ratcha. Maracas. This is karaoke. Mikey. Yeah. I'm gonna do this on the karaoke. Mike, to prove to you how much fun I'm having despite all of my problems. Yeah

My god shut her up. Yeah, it's like nonstop. So then Lisa Barlow shows And they're just like really go smells like big max Yeah, no it is brought her McDonald's back. She has and Jenny and then is like, I'm getting PTSD. Oh my God, who is ringing the My Doorbell excessively right now? I'm gonna kill them. Gonna kill them. So Jen is like, I'm getting PTSD, Kevin, for real, we have to go, we have to go.

Jen is the only one who's actually allowed to claim PTSD in this situation. I'd like to add, she's the only one because they are all claiming it. I'm like, no, Jen was the only one who had to run for life and for freedom. You guys all just got to sit there and enjoy it. Yeah, no kidding. She gets to claim P.T. Y.D. Post-traumatic. Post-traumatic you deserved it, Syndrome. you deserved it syndrome. So, um, when he's like, there is no road trip like a Gen Shaw road trip. He's like, yes, I'm made it. I'm here. Let's go. We need to

leave because it's traumatic. I like that she thinks like if they weren't sitting on the bus, she wouldn't have been arrested. Right. Like they don't drive. You know, all those Homeland Security people, if homeless security people, if it weren't for a parking lot, you would have been fine. Yeah. So Jenny, of course, is like, where marry a Meredith? And Jen said, Jen's like, she thinks, she's like, well, I think that marry called Meredith. And was like, what are you doing? And Meredith was like, I'm not running on the bus with Jen. And then Mary was

like, well, I'm going to ride with you, which is actually probably exactly what happened. So, then Whitney is like, I'm sure you're gonna be totally pleasant as usual. You're already, I already don't ever wanna go up on a bus again after dealing with you in this karaoke mic and you're fucking Maracas. Yeah, I think they just already sense what it was gonna be like. We're gonna take our own travels.

And then Whitney goes, I don't think it's coincidence that once again, Mary and Meredith aren't on the bus. Is it because Jen's here? Is it because I'm here? Do we smell? Do they not like our snack choices? It's like, no, it's because Jen's there.

It's because Jen's there. There's no conspiracy. It's because Jen's there and you guys are gonna try and get Mary to talk about being a cold leader. Like, why is this a surprise to you guys? I know. So when he's like, well, I mean, I guess the first time she missed the trip because of her dad's memorial. So, you know, that was okay. And Jenny's like, um, but was that even the truth? I mean, come on. And then there goes, yeah, I mean, that was a little weird because she hosted the trip with me. So I thought she would be

there. But then you called her and she said she's in the middle of her memorial. So yeah. And then we see a flashback of Lisa calling Meredith. Hi. I hate to interrupt you. Love that. But Jen's husband is going to hospital. I hate to interrupt you. Okay. Bye. I'll talk to you later. Hey, that's me again. Just want to remind you that Jen's husband's in the hospital. Sorry, hate interrupt you mayor. Sorry. Sorry So Meredith Sorry Lisa's like, yeah, you know what? She was from the middle of something. But she was in doubt. I mean, wasn't she in doubt?

I'm confused how, because she was in doubt. And when he's like, none of us know, none of us know what's really going on now. It's just twice now and two girls trips. Now Whitney is doing this tricky thing, you know, that Whitney is so tricky, guys. She's so slick. And I think what she's

trying to bring up is the rumor that Jen and Meredith had the same lover, like they cheated with the same guy. You've heard that, right? Yeah. Yeah, we heard that from our good friends, the Charmadea, that supposedly they've been cheating with the same guy. And so I'm wondering if this is what Whitney is trying to bring up. Because she's like, something else must be going on between Jen and Meredith. I just don't know what it's just bring it up. Whitney, stop trying to make everybody else do it.

Lisa did have a good conspiracy theory point though, which is that Meredith was at her father's memorial. But then, well, I thought the memorial was supposed to be the day before that Meredith was at her father's memorial. But then, well, I thought the memorial was supposed to be the day before and she was gonna fly in. But then when Lisa called, it sounded like that was the memorial,

but then Meredith was at the bathtub and veil. So there is a little bit of screeness, but I still believe that there was a memorial and I think they're just looking for Conspiracy theories under stones at this point Well, I think if somebody uses that card even if it was a lie like let's just say it was a lie And she was saying that she was her dad's memorial you still to sleep that alone You know what I mean like her dad died if she wants to use that as a card. You don't question

You don't question the card exactly so that as a card, you don't question that card. Exactly. So Heather's like, did Meredith say she's flying? And Lisa's like, she's being fake about it. And Jan says, well, I'll tell you what seals the deal. Jan Shodd's fake alleged arrest. And then Jenny tells me Meredith hired a freaking private investigator. So now Jan is going to make her somehow turn this into her being the victim of all this. Yes. And fake arrest and fake allegations. Okay, Jen. Okay, for real. By the way, you just need to break it to you. I know you wound up in a break room, but it was a real. That was a three that was a three agency arrest. Ma'am. Okay. It was not fake. So now she's now Jen decides that she's going to go crazy. Like she just flips out of fucking nowhere, right? So she's like, well, I mean, I mean, oh, well,

first the, okay, this I'm going to stumble around a lot. And I'm sorry, because a lot happens right now. It gets the gender really intense. And Jen is saying Meredith hired a private investigator and she tells us who hired a private investigator on somebody unless you don't have shit to hide yourself Well, you were the first one to do it And that logic is literally makes no sense like you only hire a private investigator if you also have something to hide What? Yeah, I think that's that's You know what I think my husband is cheating on me. I'm gonna hire a private investigator on myself Yeah, so Jen's like are you fucking kidding me? I think we can all agree if you're gonna hire private investigating your intentions to do harm

Why would you do that? I don't think your intention is to do harm Always like some people yeah, and also if that is your mindset like I feel like private investigators people use them to find missing people or to maybe find cheating spouses so if Jen thinks that in a private investigator is to do harm the only one who is feeling the harm are the people who are cheating and kidnapping right because she's trying to compare it to last season when Lisa told her, Hey, listen, all the girls think you hired a private investigator to dig up dirt. But this wasn't her hiring a private investigator to dig up dirt. It was because she was getting supposedly threatening texts and emails from some burner phone that rings. So ring. So ring. When you try to start 69 that's it.

Yeah, I did like Meredith did this out of it. Like it just in avoid. She was getting threatening text messages to her baby. Yeah, and then we see a clip of Meredith saying, I hired her, praying and investing in her, when my son was being threatened. And he told me it was wearing a line clean that the cops were coming from jamshah, which really doesn't make any sense either. Like, I don't think that private investigators

are like, you know what? We don't know, but we think it could be Jen Shaw. Do you or do you not know? Did you ping this fucking phone someplace? Not made no sense either. So then we knew where this was going to go, because we knew it wasn't gonna be just about the private investigator. We knew Jen was gonna turn it into, she hired a private investigator and no one told me. So now it goes, how come when we go to Vegas? Lisa, you come to me and you said,

I heard your researching all of us and you're ticking into it. And I'm busy, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. And now you're best friend of 10 years. How is a private investigator to look into me? And no one says anything? Like, well, that's different. That's different.

That's, one was a situation where it's like, oh, you're like trying to dig up dirt just the way you can besmirch someone. And one is, is this situation, where there was text messages? Is this where I just said, Ronnie, I feel like I'm just repeating what you said. Well, but they've repeated a lot

because at first it took me a minute to get it what she's even talking about, you know? But yeah, the causes are different. You're right. So Lisa's like, I'm hearing you. She's then you better be hearing me. Because I got crucified about it. She's like, but don't take it out on me though. And she's like, Yes, that is the reason I don't know if I can be pranked with you. Because all of a sudden I'm hearing it and I get fried up because I'm at the level of laugh. And it's like just screaming and fake crying like a crazy person. And Jen's screaming to the same standards of fire, don't they? And Lisa's like, but I don't dig up dirt on people.

She's like, yeah, we're best friends. Don't hold me accountable for what anyone else does. Okay, don't hold me accountable. what anyone else does. Okay, don't make it accountable. Yeah, Ed Jim goes, I don't know why everyone believes in Meredith. I mean, when she opens her mouth and words come out, what? What are you talking about? And so Lisa's like, but I wasn't and Jen's just keeps screeching that everyone believes it.

But if Jen Shaw says that we need 10 years, 10 judges, three priests in a bunch of nuns, because you're clearly unstable, you freak out constantly, you throw glasses at people, you spread lies and shit about people, and you're a shitty witness. Okay, you're a shit witness. So Lisa is like, um, she's like, listen, no, Meredith and I were not okay at the, or at Whitney's event. And Heather was like, yeah, Lisa, Lisa was like yelling at Meredith. I were not okay at thaw or at Whitney's event and Heather was like, yeah, Lisa, Lisa was like yelling at Meredith.

I wasn't yelling at her. No, no, no, I wasn't yelling at her. You guys are weak as fuck, Meredith slandered my fucking name, okay? Listen, I call out what I think is right and wrong, okay? McDonald's not doing breakfast after 10, 30 in the morning. Wrong! Meredith, hiring a private investigator? I don't know. Didn't bother me as much. Okay, McDonald's not doing breakfast after 10-30 in the morning wrong Meredith hiring a private investigator. I don't know didn't bother me as much And Jen's like oh really? And you think what she did in my last year was right targeting me?

You said that she was cheating on her husband on national TV Don't try and make yourself the victim all of this. You started this. You fucking started this. I'm not taking away from any of that at all. It's not my fault because she had a fucking affair. That's not my fault. Okay, that's not my fault. Why is that my fault? Why is that my fault? My God.

The way she's able to twist things, oh man, it is kind of next level. And we see the clip of, if you're not gonna get it at home, you're definitely going to get it somewhere else. So what and Whitney's like, wait, what is happening right now, Jen? And she's like, I don't know, ask Meredith. So then we're back.

And Jenna's still like, with her fake tears of screeching, like, it's not her fault that Meredith slept around. And Lisa's like, you know what, that's not your fault. But the one thing I have to say is that I don't want to be held accountable for something someone else does or says, okay, but that's your best friend. I mean, your poster said that coach shot was your best friend. Should he go to prison with you? That's true. And also I'm wondering how long Jen can throw out this stuff about Meredith having an affair before someone says, well, what about the time that you took an Uber from Heather's and then got out of the Uber and then disappeared into the night?

Yeah, but they don't do that because this cast they act like they're all strong. Like we're going to bring this person down, but whoever's yelling the loudest always wins. They always just cow-tow. So then, I don't think I ever say cow-tow. I don't know where that came from. Cout, there you have it. You cow-tow, to that moment. So then, Heather's like, I feel bad that Jen is finally realizing that Lisa's a shit friend, but I was right.

And I'm usually right. That's why I have this hilarious. You started it. You started this. You fucking started it. You don't get to like say you're right just because you made someone lose their shit on the bus. You guys are weak as fuck.

Meredith is playing. Oh you guys. She shows up at Wendy's event being like Jen who I hate with my being like with all my being you guys need to be friends with her and show up except except for me because I can't be your friend right now and you guys like take that in and it's like, what the fuck? I don't think that was a, they're all like harping on that weird moment, but what they feel like is a weird moment.

But I didn't think Meredith was saying that was a weird moment. Meredith is like, I'm not friends with her. So I'm not obligated to do this, but you guys are saying your friends with her. So you guys should be better friends. I don't think that's like, and I think that's actually a very honest thing to say I was actually very nice She was like I hate the bitch, but you guys can still be nice to her like she was actually being nice

And guess who else didn't say something in that moment you Ma'am you who were also there so Lisa's like well, I don't want to answer with you, John Your the cars are literally pulling over because I think there's no tension. I'm like, your cars are literally pulling over because I think there's a sign run behind them. Like death is about to do some final destination to shit and unleash some logs on the highway and it's like, I'm gonna hold off for a moment. So she is basically screaming that they treat,

married it differently, that they treat her and everybody else and Whitney's like, yeah, Lisa does do that. And Lisa's like, you have to understand, I've been friends with her for a ton of years. She's good. She's a piece of shit. So fun for her. She did sign up for her. That's what she's saying. And they're and you can't like, you can't, it's funny to me when they're like to like, wow, like you treat Meredith differently than everyone else. It's like, me when they're like, they're like, wow, you treat Meredith differently than everyone else. It's like, yeah, they have all friendship

that is longer and deeper and more developed. So she is usually the definitely fucking nasty that everybody here. So Elise is like, you know, the double standard with Meredith is just, I just don't know how she can say she's about kindness and then stand up for the meanest person in the whole group. Jan is way meaner.

She's like screaming and pointing in all of your faces right now and everybody's just ignoring it. Like, man, no big deal. You know, like whatever, it's just Jen. And this was Lisa's way of trying to pivot the heat off of her and onto like Mary. She's like, she's trying to sort of move in that direction, but then it's not, but it's

not really working. When he goes, well, why is she doing it? Lisa, is there something else happening? There can spare us. See, perhaps for this. Peana. And then Jenna's like, well, I could be treated the same. I could be treated the same.

I have treated you the same. I've had your back. I did. You need to stop saying that because you didn't. When shit went out online, you didn't. And then we see this stuff that she's talking about, which are the headlines about her defrauding old people. Listen, lady, no one is gonna stand up for you for that. Are you fucking crazy?

Are your friends supposed to just say, oh, the gen just defrauded? She just stole everything from a bunch of senior citizens. That's me best friends. I have totally teamed Jen. You guys, I am tired and I'm asking you, would you afford me the same thing? Y'as, no you want it, you have it, you have it.

I'm Heather, just in case, like she's not solid in her shit stirring, just in case she doesn't have everything nailed down. She's like, okay, well, we all will tonight, and Lisa will tonight too, right, Lisa? Right, Lisa? Like, okay, you're gonna make sure you break this friendship up too.

I mean, just evil and hilarious. Like, you have to give people a to-do list of shit to do on this show to make sure it gets better. You're gonna tell off Meredith tonight, right? At least it's like 100% how would be accountable? You have to have the same accountability as her! Like, well, we haven't because I haven't fucking cared, John. And she's about me, that's it.

It's like, no, she hasn't, she hasn't cared about you. She said that it hasn't bothered her enough to say something to Meredith. The Meredith and Mary's thing, it clearly annoys Lisa, but it hasn't bothered her enough to have a whole moment, but then for her, for Gentico, like, oh, about me, you don't care about me. I'm like, oh my God. The nurse is like, oh my God.

You know, she's like, you don't, you're arguing with the wrong thing. I didn't say that. She's like, you know what? Then say it, then say it. Say it right now. We're right now. Say what? What are you even talking about? Even Lisa goes, okay. Now I don't even know what we're saying.

She says, yeah, what about this? I went through. No, I'll go to the gym. Jen stands up and gets her finger in Lisa's face. And Jen's like, well, don't go backwards and if you don't want to, shut the fuck up, Lisa. And now she's just ready to fight, right? She's just screaming nonsense. What she's saying is making no sense and she's completely lost her mind. Yeah, because Lisa's like, Jen, I can't go backwards.

I can't, I can't even sit on the train backwards. I can't do that. I can't even sit on the wrong side of this bus, okay? and you know and then when Jen is like shut the fuck up check it Well, that's just as bad as what everyone else is doing Is it is it is bad as Mary M Cosby and your fucking friend of Jen here? I've done to you. I'm like I don't even really know what they're yelling about. They're just sort of making Jen It's a very serious sense here. Yeah, Jen isn't making any sense. She's just screaming nonsense at this point. So Lisa's like, okay, that's it.

I'm shutting down now. Because Jen's in her face, you know, standing above her and screaming at the top of her lungs. Isn't Lisa, isn't. Which makes no sense. I'm Lisa's like, I'm shutting down now. And so she's still screaming. You're gonna talk to your friend of 10 years like this.

And she's like, get out of my face. Get out of my face. Come on, get out of my way. Get out of my face. Get out of my face. Go, go, go, go. And then like a production assistant, like us to come in and start grabbing Jen.

And she's like, do you be continued? Right, cause Lisa actually gets up and tries to move past her, which I don't know where she thinks she's going. She's like, please get out of my way. And Jen blocks her and she's, what are you gonna do? Get out of the fucking car. Sit the fuck down! I couldn't help but wonder... Did Mary and Meredith call the feds and tell these women to fight like this? I think there's a larger conspiracy happening. God, Bravo can be sued for unsafe working conditions

at this point. How many times does this woman have to do this and get away with this? For you guys just to be like, oh, this totally fine. It's just Jen. Get her the fuck outta here. She's not fun like this and she's not fun when she's calm either.

Let's get her out. I mean, I was amused. I'll be honest. I was stressed. I mean, this ended and I was like, oh, I was I was deeply entertained. I was like, this is crazy that they are screaming at each other on this bus to Zion. Like these episodes keep going in these crazy directions. I never know what's gonna happen. Yeah, it's a maybe so. Oh my gosh. It is so.

That was Real Housewives of Salt Lake City for the week, everybody. Yeah, everyone, thanks for listening. We're gonna be back. We got Project Runway this week. We got Miami. We got Vanderbilt Bruells. And of course, we've got Orange County.

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