Watch What Crappens - RHOSLC: Throwing La Vida Loca

Episode Date: February 22, 2022

On the season finale of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, Jenny tries to have a fight with Mary at Lisa's Vida Tequila event. It doesn't really happen. Sort of a weird note to end a triumphant season on, but entertaining nonetheless.Get tix to our live shows: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch what crap ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Madelker and joining me only a scant two miles away, which is such an honor as opposed to several states. It's Mr. Ronnie Karen. I Ronnie, how are you?

Well, hello, Ben. How are you enjoying your Los Angeles hotel room? I'm good. It's pretty, but it's, man, it's tiny. I'm just in a little box in here walking back and forth like, this is luxury. This is luxury. Well, it is luxury. It's small luxury. Luxury doesn't have to necessarily imply expanse.

It just implies high quality fabrics. Well, that's what it is. Well, you guys, thanks to everyone who showed up at our shows over the weekend, people who came to our LA show, our San Diego show, those were wonderful, it was so exciting, Bill Burr came, which was a surprise and also very thrilling. We have many, many shows coming up. And so here are the shows for March, okay?

We have St. Paul, Minnesota, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Chicago, Illinois, Philadelphia, DC, Pittsburgh, and Denver. So we definitely wanna see you guys there. We always have great audiences in all those cities. So that's going to be a thrill. And we also have some amazing merch. Um, I don't know if you those who came to the show in LA saw Ronnie sporting those amazing crappies leggings. How did those feel Ronnie?

I'm amazing. Okay. I'm in him right now. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They're nice and stretchy. We got some amazing leggings. I was supporting a Trixi Monical T in San Diego. They're very cool and very chic. So go to crappinsmerch.com to get your crappins merchandise. And I believe there are like some pins up there too, which are super awesome. And all sorts of really cool, cool things. So check those out. And I think that's pretty much it. We've got Green Room tonight, by the way. We got a very fun Green Room already some interesting headlines that we definitely have to be talking about. There's a fat burger scandal happening that's impacting the Richard

Sisters. So we'll have to talk about that. And Gerdy from Miami is being sued. So come join us on the Spotify Green Room app. Yeah, that's at 7 p.m. Pacific time at 10 p.m. Eastern time. So today is the season finale of Salt Lake City. And before we get into it, I just like to tell the producers of Salt Lake City this show ended in the last episode. Thank you. But thanks for piecing together this, whatever this was. But you had a great season. Just ended on time guys, timing. Yeah, it was a little odd because it was sort of like a hodgepodge of like perfectly nice scenes to watch, but it did feel like it had already ended, and especially since we had to wait two weeks for it.

It was like a just ever so slightly anti-climactic. You know, Jenny tried to really bring the heat at the end there. I don't think anyone really cared too much about it. Jenny made a complete asshole out of herself on national TV, so that was fun. And did you notice they did not give her an epilogue? Sorry, I was drinking. I heard the goal, but it's okay.

No, I did not notice, but I'm glad. I mean, what would it say anyway? Like, Jenny's terrible. I'm thinking, I wasn't sure what they were gonna say. I was so fascinated. And I was like, oh, they're just not gonna say anything. Like, oh, I see, she got fired. She got fired in this episode. So she got literally demoted. So it and I went back and it's like they still gave her her tagline moment.

They didn't give her the epilogue. So she transitioned to friend of over the course of the hour. Jenny has been spending a lot of her free time on Facebook the end. So let's get into it, shall we? This season on the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City. It just starts with Whitney fucking the floor. It was like, well, there we go. It's going to be an episode. I mean, this show has been going on.

It feels like forever. I mean, I think the season started in September, maybe. It definitely was going, I think it was definitely like late September and now we're, you know, we're going to be pushing March. I mean, that's a six month span. So yeah, we had the nice, a very long previously this season, which has me believing that there was once a, like, let's wrap up Jenny's storyline segment in this hour, and they decided, hmm, let's get rid of that and just make the previously the season 10 extra minutes.

Yes. So we opened with a non-ha song, which was disturbing. I mean, I think even the Trixi... The Trixi Mormon Plackle Choir was like, you know what, the season should have been over. We're not coming to work today. Okay. You will have no haze for this episode. Yeah. Thank you. And there was a song later in the episode, which was not only did it not sound very tricky monoclechle choir, but it actually sounded scandalous for the show. I don't know if you heard it, but we'll get to it. Okay, we'll get to it. Normal, sass, underwear, normal, sass, underwear. Is that a tribute to Justin? I'm not wearing longjounds anymore.

So Lisa and John are walking into their event space too. Ronnie, sorry, took me a long time. Lisa and John walk into an event space where they're gonna have a Vita party. I love that, love that, love that. Oh my god, I love that. Is this a Vita bottle painting on a wall? Love that! Oh my god.

Is that a grown-up bottle over there? Lisa, not a whoreore get it out of my face only Vita and you know you've been mentioning the past few weeks about Lisa having this other voice And I did hear it this time and you know, it's it's more like she has another octave when she's in a good mood because guys good mood because guys. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Hi. I love this thing. It's really. Yeah. She just goes up there. It's like a tea kettle going off. So they walk into this event space. And now my theory is that this is why we have the season finale because you know Lisa had

it in her contract that she's having the season finale at her Vita launch. Because that's the only reason for this party. So they walk into their event space to check it out and they put up a little ding thing for... I love that! Because she just keeps walking around and saying that to every single thing. Oh my god it's a fly, I love that. You know what? People just fall right into the water if there wasn't a fly, I love that! Oh my god, I love that you know what the people just fall right into the water if there was enough floor I love that. Oh my god. I love this. It's just like my in mind. It's gorgeous. I love it. I love it. I love it I love it. Love that So then we go over to Mary and Robert her son doing pet butt and our favorite golf course in Sully Gensers. Yeah, Molligan. So I've got to deal with Mulligan's this year.

God, poor Topgolf. Topgolf must have been like, you're not allowed to film here anymore. That's good to Mulligan's down the street. Were there like broken animatronics from that Facebook ad? Yeah, Topgolf, Topgolf has way too classy now. They're like, broken glass in Topgolf. Yeah, good to Mulligan's right by this.'s at the corner of the I10 freeway and the I5 freeway

It's literally bounded by highways. Yeah, you have to go to bottom of the barrel golf now. It's called Mulligan's The name says it all It's literally going to a bad engage called strikeout It's literally going to a batting cage called strikeout. It's a strikeout. Mixed strikeouts. It's like going to a batting cage called like basketball. You're so bad at it. It's just something else.

It's just like going to like some sort like a football experience called broken legs career over. Yeah, a driving class called like fiery inferno. So Mary and Robert are putt putting and it's pretty much how I think anything they do is do together is it's pretty much how it goes. Mary going, okay, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna bet. How much you want to bet? You don't want to bet me that. You better get your gas ready.

We're gonna bet, whoa, hit it. I hit the ball, I hit the ball. And he's just standing there chewing gum, kind of staring at her, but also through her. Yeah, yeah, that's a really good way to put it. It's also, I believe it might be their first time ever playing miniature golf or encountering

the concept of golf because they looked like they didn't really know what they were doing. They're like, huh? What? Yeah. It was a very lifeless miniature golf experience, which if it had been me, would have been full of like lots of excitement and thrill because I like many parts. Can I get some help here? What? Why would I want to hit the lighthouse?

Why would I do that? Like, man, don't worry, it's just a set. I taught myself better than this, okay? Why would I hit the lighthouse? Man, you got to keep your ball on the green. Says who? I don't have to. I don't want to.

Well, why don't you want to? I don't have to tell you that. So then. Well, why don't you want to? I don't have to tell you that. So then we go over to Jen's house with Mariello, taping up boxes and Jen's closet, which welcome to the rest of your life, because this is Mariello's life, you know? Like, it's never gonna change from this. And what I love about Jen's closet is, you know, she's got this big old closet with all her clothes in it,

but like, she's still got those white IKEA Clacks, class, whatever they're called bookcases that like we all have like I'm staring at them right now in my office Like she she's trying to see them super glam, but she's got that IKEA shelving system Yeah, um and Marillo really is a dumb dumb It goes dang dumb and he goes I think they. I about just strain. Oh, do you? Super loud. That was the best. I think they do our about the string. Wow. I hope you get a raise. Yeah. And so it's a mover. And he's like, Jen, long time no see. It's been on what, like six months since you last moved so Jen is like so after looking at many many many Houses we finally found something why does anyone find me? We definitely were downsizing and it's like it's not 9000 square feet

It's not half that and I would like an a for effort because I'm doing the best that I can with what I can do Oh, well, you're doing the best you can no you don't get an a for effort you get a zero for broke ass Okay 450,000 get a zero for broke ass. Okay. 450,000 million square feet. You got a lot of guns. Yeah. Yeah. And I just wrote, your mother just gave you her entire retirement.

Like her entire retirement. Time to. Yeah. And you're spending that on a 4,000 square foot house. Exactly. It's called Get a Condo. Get a three bedroom condo. One of your sons doesn't even have to live there. Fire Marillo, get some hot pockets, and that's your new

life. So the good thing about it is that you will get to go to a big house, and it'll be free. So she starts telling this guy, who she's obviously used this guy many times before because there seems to be some sort of, you know, back history in terms of the many houses she's been in, he seems to know her. So she starts saying like, yeah, we're really downsizing because of this whole legal case and like, there's like a $2 million retainer for the legal and so we're downsizing to put our money into the retainer and fighting that. So she's just trying to get it. She's trying to get a free move so badly. Well, yeah, I mean, I think that's the thing. When you're seeing on camera,

you get some kind of discount for your business, right? And she's moved 9,000,000 times. So this guy's like, they're just nodding at her. And she's like, I mean, I hate packing. Even if it's just for a trip, like even if I'm going to why, which I love, I hate packing. It sucks, packing sucks. So the mover is like, okay, lady, what we're gonna do is we're gonna decide what we're

gonna do and what you're gonna do. And we're gonna kind of establish those expectations today. So you don't put a brick through my windshield and scream that I killed your soul and that I'll die in the fiery pits of hell like you did when we moved you two weeks ago. Remember that? Remember that. So they go through like a walk through the house and he's like, okay, cool. So it's like the same deals we always have. Cool, cool. We look, they go through everything and then they go into the closet and then she has like three boxes there. Just look, we even got a few boxes to cut down on

cost. I'm like, congratulations, we got three boxes. That'll be a pillow and five glasses you can fit in there. So I think we're going to put things in these boxes. What about that? He's like, now are you? Are you going to put the things in three boxes and then slash our tires and threaten to cut off our balls and feed them to us like you did when we moved you six weeks ago. Okay, I just can't do it. I can't do it. So they give her an estimate of between eight and ten thousand dollars and she's just so mad because she was just angling so hard for that free moving. She's like, let me remind you, I'm gonna spend two million dollars and I'm gonna be poor and does it too. How can you do this to me? How can you do this? $8000 to $10,000, ma'am.

Yeah. And she's like, you know, packing the downsides. I mean, that's depressing. And I'm acting like, you know, I'm okay. And I'm being really strong. I know everybody. I know. But it hurts.

Like, yeah, Jen. Jen, just been holding it in this whole time. Yeah. Yeah, a vision over a strange and shock So she's like I'm just really scared. Is this the last everything I have with my family this year? I mean, I'm the person that takes care of my entire family. I'm so selfless What's gonna happen? What's gonna happen if like something happens to me? This is why I can't sleep at night This is what keeps me up my own own good deeds keep me up late at night.

Well, I'm glad something's keeping you up at night. I mean, Jesus, it's a little misplaced, but at least it's something. I'm about to be as poor as the people like God. So she's like, we'll try and pack as much as we can ourselves so we can get that price down Maybe we can have a yard sale the mover's like none of your neighbors go to yard sales man Oh look, I've got a box of great things for the yard sale. Let's see. This is a deed to a house of some old lady in Pennsylvania This is a deed for an old man in Pennsylvania. I've got some dentures here. No, they just came with a note that said, please, please leave me alone. Thank you. Okay, so now is the important part, Ronnie. This is where we have in my mind a very non-salt Lake City interstitial piece by Trixi Monaco. It's almost like they got their tracks mixed up. They got like

like Trixi was like submitting for some other sultry reality show and then somehow it went upon Salt Lake City because we're seeing the usual panoramic shots of Utah and the music's like and then we see a shot of a statue of Jesus and Tricksie goes like this What is happening here on Salt Lake City on this finale? I know you see Jesus you get a new pop song entitled OO Yeah You see Jesus, you get a new pop song entitled, ooh yeah. Ooh yeah. Ooh yeah. No, it was Samantha Fox was doing the music.

I need ha ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah, or at least give us a throwback to like their glory song in season one So next up is Heather doing a memorial for her father in the park and So she's putting up some floral arrangements and stuff and then having it reset She's like I want this reset so that when people see the speaker, who's gonna be here? I want the background to be the mountains and the snow. You know, yeah, she wants that.

And so I was gonna try to make a joke about how like the mountains were crying and it'd be appropriate for Memorial, but I really couldn't get there, Ronnie. I couldn't do it. So moving on, crying mountains jokes aren't easy. It turns out they're not easy. And I was like, maybe I can make a joke about snow caps, the candy couldn't do that either.

You know, it's hard. It can be really hard to find a lot of humor in a Memorial service. But anyway, you haven't been to enough. That's true. I guess that happens in the weekend that Bernie's in a long time. So my Heather's dad died. You know, we've been hearing a lot about her dad. I don't think I realized or remembered that her dad actually died only a year ago during the pandemic.

And so they hadn't had a chance to gather until this moment. So all of Heather's family is arriving. And I can't tell who's who because everyone looks the same because there's like a Tyler and there's a KC and there's like a KC Tyler and a Kyler and a T.C. And I was like, I don't know who's who. I'm just gonna call them all Billy. So she tells us, there were quite a few people

I invited that didn't show up today. There's my sister, my brothers, and my mom. I mean, Nancy hasn't even seen my dad since she was 16, but she still refused to come to the memorial. And I think she did that out of loyalty to the family who took a stand and refused to participate because my mom told them that my dad was rolling in his grave and rolling is very serious in the Mormon church. You cannot roll with someone until you've been married a long time. You have to wait to get your

planet to start rolling. Steve Winwood, his albums have actually been banned in the Mormon community because he has a song called Roll With It. Now I know that we're all supposed to be on our housewives side and Kate the family for this, but maybe they just didn't want to come on TV for a televised monologue by you, friends, perfectly in the mountains. I mean, they probably just don't want to go on TV. You know what? I was watching the scene and I was like, man, those family members are so cruel. And then I was like, Ronnie's going to say, how about you don't have it on TV? Like I knew Like I knew, like you did exactly, I was like, I know, I know what's gonna happen, I'm gonna be like, yeah, that's so mean, I'm gonna be the one that gets like, you know,

I'm easily manipulated, I'm like, yeah, wow, Heather's bright and you're like, yeah, well, how about you don't put it on TV, how about you don't air your family's dirty laundry on TV, and then maybe those show up. Yeah, I mean, look, you've been on camera and dissing their religion and basically calling them brainwashers now.

Am I saying that you're wrong? No, of course I'm not. But I can see why your mother would be like, yeah, I don't think I really want to go to your version of a memorial service on TV. I mean, what are you going to be, you know, in a jock strap? I'm having your little friend slash cousin sliding down poles. not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feud say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle

between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can lace an ad free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. I also was sad that Nancy

wasn't there because you know when they show her when Heather's like well Nancy didn't come because she's gonna show loyalty to the part of the family that's like standing up for whatever. And they just cut to Nancy and be like, fuck them. You know, I just, I want the Nancy to come and be like, yeah, you know what, fuck this whole family. All right, I live in Denver, I live in Vale now. Okay, that's what the real life is like. Fuck you all, Nancy's out.

And Heather turns it around to like, Nancy didn't come because she must have taken my mother's side against me. You know, it's like such a housewives now. I thought that she was, I, the way I interpreted this multilayered scene was that Nancy was taking a stand about like, like, no, I was rejected. Why should I have to come crawling back

to be like, you know, to celebrate? Well, what she said was, I think she did that out of loyalty to the family who took a stand and refused to participate because my mom told them that my dad was rolling in his grave. So Heather's saying she thinks her sister Nancy didn't come because of the mom or whatever. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait until season three to get to the bottom of that. Yeah, I can't believe we're still talking about this thing. So Heather is, you know, she does her, her spiel about how like we're all, we're on an island of misfit toys.

We're each other's only friends because we've been kicked out of the church. Yeah. And you know, she, she, I mean, it's actually still an emotional scene. And she was talking about how, like, this was hard because she was questioning her place in the Mormon church or if it should really be her future. And then her dad died. And she's just, there's a lot of emotions

that swirled around her. And the last time she spoke to her dad was at Christmas and then he died in April. And things had been strained because she'd been very public. i.e. on a television show sort of bashing the church. And she said, you know, we have this phrase that there's no empty chairs because in heaven everybody's going to be around the table. And if he could see my life right now, would he think that in heaven there's going to be an empty chair where I'm not at?

And I'm like, well, first of all, your father is a little mizorob fan because I'm very empty. Childs, I tempt you to be. And I feel it, it feels it, it feels it. Second, my family does not have this. Like, hey, guys, see you in heaven. My family has like, well, I'll be in heaven. Where will you be?

Like, I'll miss you on this planet because I sure ain't seeing you in heaven. Listen, this is what I gotta say. Pritch chairs, okay, you can fold them up. If someone doesn't show up, fold them up, put it in the closet, then you're all good. You're all good. Or just like this memorial service,

don't have enough chairs at all, you know? So if they do come, they can just stand the whole time anyway. Yeah, that's how musical chairs works. Okay, if you had the right number of chairs, there's no game, okay? What's the matter? What's happening? What's going on?

Beth News explaining the afterwards. Okay, you got too many chairs. You got too many chairs at your table. Okay, the reason why you're worried, because the reason why you said that there's no one in the chairs, you got too many chairs. Why you have so many chairs?

Okay, it's called a five top. Why do you got six chairs at the five top? Really? You don't got a reservation for me here in Mormon heaven because you have so many empty chairs. So anyway, so then they're all, they're all, they all sing together and then they go over to have a picnic and they're all hanging out the picnic and One of the women who's at the party like I don't know it's a sister. I'm assuming tells Heather that the mom showed up and they're like did you see the mom do you see our mom moms here? Where actually was the brother said that again Billy said it Billy said Mom showed up and we see like a quick clip of like Billy greeting the mom and I was like

I didn't see that I would have like to Seen that and like she said well, she didn't mom didn't want interrupt the flow Which was well then you attend the event. I mean you don't show up midstream and make it about you You saw it you still disapprove Yeah, she's like she just didn't approve that's what it was just show up and make it all about you It was like actually this entire memorial service was about you. But I think that you're allowed to kind of make it about you

when someone else dies and you're giving the speech. If somebody dies, you shouldn't have to be like, well, here's what they were great at. You're supposed to be like, here's what I was great at that they appreciated. Like, wow, Johnny. Really loved when I was seeing Lay Miss Arab during Greek caps. So I'd like to take this moment.

Empty chairs, empty tables. Those for you, Eddie. But also I don't think the mom made it about her because like literally how they didn't even know she was there until someone told her her way afterwards. So yeah, we see a clip of the mom getting, like, parking and getting out of the car and the brother coming to hug her. And my imagination is just a mom type thing to say, like, I don't want to bother you guys.

I don't want to cause any trouble. I just want to just stop by and say, I love you. Okay, it's great you're doing this, bye. Yeah, I mean, like, hello, that's what having a mom is. Like, isn't that like the mom thing is that a mom, it's like, I don't want to cause any trouble and leaves. It's not like that.

Like, I guess certain moms, I should say. There's different categories of moms. It's definitely not my mom. But I feel like, I imagine Heather's mom does this all the time. Like, I imagine when Heather's mom goes McDonald's, she's like, I'll just get some chicken figures. I don't want to distribute. Like, man, who are the chicken fingers? I think that she's in her car. I don't want to distribute. Like, man, who are the chicken fingers?

I think the lady she's in her car. She doesn't want to distribute. Man, would you like that value meal super-sut? Oh, if you, you know, if it's not too much trouble, if it is fine, you know what, just charge me the 79 cents anyway and you do what you want to do. Yeah. Man, you're gonna take your food,

you know, you have it, you have it. So, yeah, who knows? I mean, I'm just putting a lot on her mother that I don't really know. But, no, I'm just at this point, I'm just thinking about stereotypes of Midwest moms and I'm just having fun with it because that's my favorite thing. Really? Because I'm wondering what flavors of chicken nuggets saucer out now. I'm like, I wonder how much those have changed since I've had a chicken nugget. Don't answer that, sir.

They're doing McDonald's, they're doing some weird thing where they're like remixing, they're doing it like. No, I say don't answer it. Here, here's something to purge that idea out of your mind. Salt flats. Okay, let's go to a bunch of cars in the middle of snow about to crash through you and kill everybody involves. Yes, let's go to a bunch of cars in the middle of snow about to crash

through and kill everybody involves. Yes, I'm in suddenly this show turns into like turns into some like pickup truck commercial, you know, because pickup truck commercials are like you like this pickup truck will wait to see how it drives the middle of a big flat surface with no civilization nearby. It's like I'm gonna buy it. So we see that oh my god that reminds me of my favorite audition song Sir we just need eight bars, okay Texas Locker

I want my car to be like a rock. Okay. It's maraudet shopping for pickup truck. I want a trunk man. It's kind of being like a rock. So anyway, it is a maraudet scene actually because we see this random car commercial and then we see a close-up on a director's chair

that says, man, it's marks! Okay, so let me change my position for this maraudet scene. you close up on a director's chair that says, man, I have marks. Okay, so let me change my position for this mayor. So, you got it. This requires a totally different, are you on the hotel bed? I'm assuming, right? I'm on the hotel chair, which is surprisingly deep.

I don't know, it's for people who like to sit on chairs where the entire chair goes up until like where your knee bends You know it's one of those so Anyway, so she's like I'm so excited for everything so listen faton or for gay. I don't want to assume you're okay I'm saying that because you actually have the title, Fatime Gopher, so Fatime Gopher, listen, here's what I want. I want to get single pictures and double pictures. And then sometimes maybe with other people and the paint chimes.

He's like, so take pictures of everyone here. Yeah, I want to. I really want to showcase the jewelry by having it upstate with very flashy satin pajama type suits, okay? So uh, she they're doing a photo shoot for her jewelry and um, Miss photographer, please listen to him. He just shot the 2021 line of Gerber baby food cans So he's gonna be have a great eye for getting Bruxy We come out with the drawing for toddlers and I shadow for toddlers So let's make sure that gets shown

If we get makeup on these soon, we aren't in trouble. Here we are. So Brooke starts in a pink sweat suit with a pink snowflake sweater thing and then he changes into a green silk suit that I think that Meredith has worn before. I could have sworn I've seen her in this. There are, Meredith has definitely worn some of this like satin, satin, I don't know, shiny, shiny, happy fabric. Um, or is that like to call it amazetine? It's like from Amazon.

It sort of reminds, like I kind of feel like you could just take all these, all this fabric and just hang it on a wall and you've like now created a junior prom, you know? Yes, on Easter, yeah, because that's where I've Easter time. It's like my lar, I just remember my junior prom, just like, let's wrap the gym in my lar, and that's kind of what this looks like. Yeah, so she's like, people have this vision that my jewelry is only for women.

And I said, never, I'm never coming out with joy for men because my joy on running is for every money. What? You can tell, especially people who wear satin pajamas that may actually be day wear. So, she's like, well, I got in touch with the glad so I could raise money for glad So I love gaming people. I mean look how many trans brands they've got she contracted she contacted the wrong glad I called the good people glad and said we want you to donate some locks for this photo shoot So I didn't know what to do. So apparently they died a bunch of their

Trash bags and turned them into pajamas and that's what we are wearing So she's still on about we've had a few tough months without That went down between Janet Bronx my son has been going down a lot on his journey. Did I get that sentence? Makes sense. Well, wherever the journey leads him, even if he's on his knees, by the time we get to there, I wish him my own best. My son is on the bottom of a very long journey that he will be taking up.

With my jewelry I told him, Bruxin, you are no longer gonna have to swallow. You're prime. So swallow, you're a prime. Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe And this is the Chloe's like, this feels kind of sexual. I'm not really into it. And then Brooks is like, well, we don't have to be siblings in the photos because he's sort of like kind of grabbing her and she's like, ew. She's like, stop it. So then we get a lot of pictures

and the photographer thinks to say when pictures are happening. He's like, okay, you know what? Let's see when where you're like, take the rope around you and then like do a tying thing. I'm like, maybe you're gonna tie it. Yeah, yeah, like that, like kind of tying. Oh my god, keep doing that. Keep doing that. It's just like this mid-kind of, well, am I tying in or am I not? No, just kind of tying it. All right, well, I'm saying, I don't know. was it gonna be tying? Just kind of tying it, I said. I feel like it would all kind of remind of me

of like those like year 2000 music videos. I feel like they were all on like a salt flat. Like I have some, am I incorrect? Wasn't there like a Maya video? Like case of the X, wasn't that like on a salt flat? Can it be on a salt flat? That's where it exists in my mind. I'm like imagining Maya coming out like don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don don No, Seth. No, no. Oh, and she says, well, I think that glad is so important. Supporting the LG BBQ BHNRY, the lesbian gay by trans.

Don't question, Brooksie's not ready. Organization. Organization. Organization. And I like, by the way, like, you know, obviously our big joke with Yolanda is that, like, there's GG and the other one, but I'm glad that that joke, like, has found new life with Meredith Marx because she's like, I'm so glad I was able to be here with Seth and Brooks, and that girl who looks like Brooks, why I think came out of me at some point in my life, I'm just so glad to celebrate with my entire family and the other one.

So she's talking about how to her equality is never having to come out. And I guess I can maybe see how that could be nice. Like, you know, we're living in a, when we live in a world where it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight or anything like that. But yeah, I don't really know where she's going with that, but otherwise how are you going to know who you get to fucking a bar, you know, like things need labels. Okay, you can't just open a bottle and drink mouthwash

because then you'll fall over because it was really drain out. You need a label. Okay, I need them. I need my mold. Born importantly, Gays need drama. And if you deprive us of the drama of coming out, you are taking away our livelihood. You can't just like say to someone, oh, guess what? You can't have a story for the rest of your life from now on, you can't have, you can't have my face. I'm offended.

Yes, that's like our sweet 16. Yeah. Like, do you know how important those stories are for us Gays to be like, oh my God, when I came out, my entire family did not talk to me for six years. But everything's fine now. Yeah, we need those stories. Also, it's 2022, and this is a time of labeling everything.

So I think you're just a little too far ahead in your thinking, maybe. It also means that you're taking away our ability to like dance to a Diana Ross. I'm coming out because then it's like, oh, that song no longer means anything to our community. Yeah, that just means, I'm going outside. That's literally a song about location. Yeah, it's like I'm sick of watching Netflix, you know.

Okay, so he is wearing like, or she is wearing like a pit, her eyes shadow is like when pit bulls have pink eye, you know, I don't know I don't know it didn't make me want to buy a ring but you know good for her. So then we get sexy music which means it must be a Whitney scene. Oh yeah and we knew that this was going to be horrific because we just see like a thousand birds flying away from our house right before Like uh-oh the birds know some things up The birds were about to attack and the birds were like no go into a different place birds just have that bird sense when they know

They're about to hear Justin's Foupa slapping up against something. They're like The birds are like all right everyone slapping up against something. They're like, get me out! The birds are like, all right everyone. They're like the Joeson birds. They're like, let's find a win-mill and the solve for us. So, hey, Bob Com, it's coming, and name is Justin. Please, let's come to win-mill.

Let's, let's, we've seen too much. This is a bird cult. So, that's a bird cult. So, sexy music, Whitney's walking around in a terrible fog bathing suit, setting a table and Justin's like, uh, wow. I'm glad that you feel so confident in your body, but please don't make me get naked hot national television. Please. Please.

So, Whitney's like, this last year has been very difficult. Now that I've gotten through the rebrand because I turned my, my, the M from Milo to a W for Whitney Rose, I want to reprioritize my life. So she's like, you have sacrificed a lot for me to re-brand. Pa, that was the champagne. Wow, that champagne sure came quick. Get up in there, do sexy beast. She's pouring champagne on her boobs for him to like motorboat slash suction.

Beat it out what she does, but like it's all happening and there's like a kiddie basketball hoop in the background. I'm like, why is this not feel very sexy to me? Like no, just literally was a basketball. Like an indoor kiddie basketball hoop. Okay, I need to calm down. I was like this episode is stupid. When the work goes, I'm going to talk to you.

I was about Justin. No, I'm just giggling too much. Okay, so Let's see here. So she's like it is no secret that we've right been in a dammit Okay, just keep going keep going. We'll fix it in post-its. I want us to go back to how we used to be no more Robotic sex now we are going to have fun sex. Come here tiger. So they go up to their room and Whitney is like, I need you to take off your shoes, your pants and your shoes. No, your shirt and your, no, shirt and shoes. Put a jacket on. No, how does this work?

So they strip and she pulls out this poster thing that she lays down on the bed and she's saying, guess what, we're doing. He's like the love is art thing. The love is art thing. So I guess they bought some kit that you're supposed to do when you're in a rut. And these two were gonna be broken up with in a year.

I give them two years. This is so terrible and Whitney is like, you know, I don't like I'm having it. My work life balance is still an evolution, especially since it's mainly just life and not work, but that's still out of balance. So then Justin takes off his shirt and I'm like, this needs, this is not for us right now. And nobody needs this, okay.

And then she's dancing around, she's got on pasties and then they start putting this paint or whatever all over and then she bends him over on the bed or no, he bends her over on the bed and she's he's spanked her and she's like There he goes, God if it wasn't for this this would have been one long FF scene So I don't know I don't know how you guys felt out there. I don't need this, okay? I don't need this I wanted to go back to Mulligan's I was like taking back to Mulligan

So I can watch Mary and Robert Jr. play golf, please. I thought there was something in my throat. It was my own penis rejecting the world so badly that it puts all the way back into my body and hit me in the throat. I wanted to go back into the closet, just an actual physical closet and never come out again. So then we got something which I don't know why it took,

I feel like we have to name this piece of music and I don't know why we have not named it earlier because it's every episode. I'm going to call it the baby gorgeous theme, which is like the classic, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah. It's like the day time in South Lake City theme. Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh Yeah, sitting back to back, man, I hope that lady trademarked this because her boobs have been all over the country. Okay, and still are. So I hope she's made some damn residuals. Yeah, so he's wearing that and the shirt says something like Kappa is yes, it's capa. Would you make it? Yeah, so then I don't really understand great. Oh, George Greed letter. What letter is it?

Kappa really understand great ode to a Greek letter what letter is it capa it's a Greek letter capa like capa capa gamma okay okay so Lisa's like so jack which dress would you pick out of this one or that one he's like which ever covers you up more mom. I love it. So then we go over to Jen. She's getting into glam and she's talking about how this Vita tequila party is going to be at the Vita tequila food court. It's going to have an 80s and 90s vibe, which is sort of like the show in general. And then we go to Jenny picking out her dress.

This is, you know, This is like a thing that happens on Real Housewives shows in general, but we're seeing a lot tonight of moms asking their little kids for dress advice. I don't think I need to see this anymore. I think it annoys me. I don't think that the kid ever has any impact on the decision and it's supposed to make us

think the kid is perccious or something. I don't know if I need to see little kids picking out dresses for their moms anymore. Yeah, I think it's like trying to give your kid autonomy. You know what I mean? Like, wow, look, you can choose an outfit. You know, that is it just a diaper on your head and a paper towel of ranger boobs.

Because you know, when you tell a kid they can choose their own outfit for school, it never ends well. So why would you ask them to choose one for you, you know? They just shit themselves. Yeah, I think it's like trying, I think it's every time it happens, it's always the mom trying to make their kid a star on Bravo.

And it doesn't really ever work. It's usually the same kind of like sassy response. Like don't wear that, cause it's like stupid in the mom laughs. Like you're too much. How about this? Ask the kid what kind of like sassy response. Like don't wear that, because it like stupid in the mom laughs. Like you're too much. How about this? Ask the kid what kind of book they want to read. How about that?

Right. Well, and my parents went out all the time growing up. I mean, they were party animals. And my mom would do that. She'd be like, do you want to help me pick up my dress? Because of course, I was like, I mean, I didn't even know there was a closet back then, okay? I didn't need a closet to come out of.

I was like, hello, whoa. My closet was a vagina that I came out of. I was like, hello. So of course I wanted to help her get dressed, but I don't think my opinion really mattered and I figured out much later in life that the only reason she was asking me in the first place was to involve me and her ditching me for the night.

So when I cried to the babysitter and said, oh my mom, my mom could be like, but you wanted me for the night. So when I cried to the babysitter, and I was like, oh my mom! My mom could be like, but you wanted me to go out. You even picked up my outfit. You see? It's like manipulation. So I see this and I get a little triggered,

you know, and filled with abandoned minishes. Oh, okay. Well, I was never asked. I was never asked. My opinion was never required for my mom's fashions. Or maybe it was, and I was just too busy whining about how I wanted another Nintendo game. So it could have really been either one of those things. Either way, Lisa and John, we now see them in one of those awful band or haul cars.

As first seen on Bravo with Kyle Richards driving to the supermarket with Porsche, which still infuriates me because those cars, not only are they stupid, you can't even have groceries in them. So why would you even take them to the grocery store unless you just wanted to show off the fact that you have that car? Yeah, I call those Kyle Richards cars. Yeah, that was true. They went grocery shopping and then they came back out and they're like, wait a minute, where do we put the groceries? Oh my God. So Lisa loves it though. She's like, it's the cutest little car I'm upset.

Yeah, cause this one says Vita tequila. So this is their like Vita car, right? I give it like a slight pass because if it's a car for marketing purposes, it's gonna catch your eye. So it's like not as annoying to me as college students taking one and bringing it to the supermarket, but still annoys me. Yeah, and it's just not the best car to advertise alcohol. You know what I mean?

It's like that is the unsafest car to drive after you've had some Vita to Keela. There's no cover. There's nothing on your head. You really, yeah, it's. The Vita tequila, you're probably gonna die tonight, car, love that. It's, yeah, it's not ideal.

So they're driving around to the party and she's like, ah, and at one point she goes, train, and then a train comes by. And I just love the fact that she was like, ah, and at one point she goes, train, and then a train comes by. And I just love the fact that she just like, in this car, reverts to being four years old. DRAAD! DRAAD! I'm DRAAD!

Well, this is our debut of our Chrysler joined Badass. I wanted this to be inspired by Mal 8, but on luxury scale so it's not Sabah, it's like Sabah, Sabah, Sabah, love that. I don't know what fancier bottles like I don't understand why launching a fancier bottle like how that's linked to doing a food like a food court. Also this party didn't food like a food court. Also, this party didn't look like a food court,

by the way, just want to put that out there. So there's arrivals and hunds and she wanted people to dress 80s, but I hope that I'll take it too literally in my com dress like my dana. Ha ha ha. She's making a big ask, wanting to find nuance in this theme.

Like she's like, come 80s style, but not an 80s tribute. Yeah, hard. I mean, Meredith Marx came to the last finale party looking like she had her face stuck against the diamond screen door. Okay. We're going to need clearer instructions. She showed up literally looking like a bedazzled version of the creature from the abyss. Yes. So John's like, wow, oh no, Whitney's like, hi John, John, ha ha, is this your rendition of the 80s? And he's just in like his normal j-crew shirt that he wears in every episode. And to be fair, Whitney is in her normal outfit, except she added a ponytail today.

Yeah, she added a really long ponytail that is not the same color as her hair. Whitney, poor Whitney. Yeah, poor Whitney. And there's like, did anybody do her costume? And then Jenny is there, she goes, this is Whitney Houston girl. And I'm like, no, you literally not Whitney Houston at all.

I think she was trying to suggest that, because Jenny had like, so like big curls. So maybe she was suggesting that she not Whitney Houston at all. I think she was trying to suggest that, because Jenny had like, so like big curls. So maybe she was suggesting that she was Whitney Houston in the, I wanted to answer somebody video where when you had the big curls. But even then she didn't really, I was like, just because you have curly hair, it doesn't mean that that doesn't make Whitney Houston.

How dare you on the 10 year close to anniversary of her death. Yeah, this is not the time, Jenny. All right. No, so. So Miss Wendy used it into your scene. Jen comes in a Chanel turban, which I kind of liked, because my 80s is soap dish. Or early, I mean, that was early 90s, right?

So yeah, that was my 80s with Sally Field and soap dish and her. Tommy! Why am I in a fucking turd in? I'm so luxurious fucking swat! This is Tommy, you're new to high, nice to meet you, David. David. I mean, she was the original David before Shana Bedore.

David? David? David! David! By the way, let's see how long it takes me to get kicked out of the hotel room. I'm just screaming and yelling. So, so Jen, she shows up and she's like, to my legs look tan, do they look tan? And Lisa's like, they look skinny, on fabulous.

So then Meredith, sorry, what? Oh, it's just gonna say, production's like, okay, guys, it's the season finale where we want a huge fight. So let's show us, let us show you to the set of the teeny tiny couch we've gotten for you. All the sit down on because that's their thing on this show. Like maybe if we sit them on a teeny tiny couch, they'll fight. They'd love on this show putting the cast in a sort of like empty room with like a few tables and white walls and a small couch. I feel like we've been on this set a few times this season.

And now that I said it, I think it was the same couch. I'll bet if we went back and looked, it's that same tiny white couch, they just have some poor production assistant drive around with for every party. It's just Jen's couch. She's just like fooling the production into moving it for her. have some poor production assistant drive around with for every party. It's just Jen's couch. She's just like fooling the production into moving it for her. So she doesn't have to pay the movers. Yeah. I moved that couch myself.

So I'm only paying you guys $100. So they're talking about like it's Meredith coming and yeah, Meredith's supposed to be coming. And then we cut to like a black SUV of doom. This like foreboding, driving down the street, and it's Seth and Meredith in the back, and Seth is wearing a white blazer and a rig and bush t-shirt,

and he's like, so are you looking forward to seeing everybody? I'm just like, well, it depends on how everybody behaves. If everyone's nice, sure, if everyone's mean, then I'm going back to my baby at home. So Lisa's like you know what I just a bad off the matter's time now like we've been friends for so long

and I just guys I think something's going on with her do you think something's going on with her? Because of course they've decided they're gonna attack Meredith tonight which is so hilarious it's like hasn't haven't you had enough you know but they're gonna attack Meredith tonight, which is so hilarious. It's like, hasn't haven't you had enough, you know, but they're gonna go again. And Heather, of course, is like, yes, there's definitely something going on. We need to talk to her. Well, I would love to talk to her,

but of course, what happens if my mother shows up and watches and then goes away, and I mean, it'll all be ruined. So. Oh, everybody, just stop for a second. Heather's mom has just stopped by and said hi to everybody. Don't worry, she left. She left.

Just wants to make sure you're all okay. Did anyone see an old lady with a crimp tear? Yeah, that was Heather's mom, just popping in and leaving. So Heather. So Heather. Yes, and Heather's mad because Lisa's saying that she wants to make up with Mary and I so Heather's like Oh, so they're just gonna be the best friends and everything's just fine

So yes actually, yeah, that's called maintaining a friendship That's how yeah, so that's how you support like a friends event while you're mad at them so they so my narrative comes in and Meredith and Lisa are all nice and nice and everything And and Meredith and Lisa are all nicey nicey and everything. HAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH You're so bad, I thought. No, it's max everybody. Meredith's max, the original Santa Bonn. All right, everybody. You're so good. So Mary comes in. Some of myself as a wantzels, pretzels, but that's fine.

If anyone is a sinner, Bonn, and this group, it's me and I'm not a pal. It's like, okay, Heather, you've already given one monologue today. Please, please have a seat. So, um, so there's like drinks coming and Mary shows up and Heather's joking around saying she has a crush on all the husbands, especially Justin. Oh, because she's not talking to Justin. She's like, I have especially Justin and Justin's like, well, we could be cousins.

You never know. And she's like, well, we could be cousins, you never know. And she's like, well, we do have the same build, you know? So let's see here. This is party notes, so I'm getting a little confused. Sharif, oh, John's like, hey, Sharif, Sharif, come over here, Sharif. Sharif, I want you to meet my friend Scott. Scott lives across the street from me and Scott consoles me whenever anything's wrong. Scott, take it away. What kind of intro

is that? It's like Sharif, your whole life is breaking down. Come meet the person who helps me, the neighbor Scott, Scott. Any kind of advice you'd like to give to Sharif, whose life is going down the toilet right now, go ahead, Scott, you can do it. I feel bad. I feel like I didn't even commit Scott to my notes. It cracked me up. Scott's just like, well, Sheree coach, what a great honor. First of all, to meet you sir. Second of all, life can get tough. Life can get tough sometimes. What I'd suggest is setting a timer for the sprinklers. One less thing to worry about. You're welcome. Brothers, brothers, brothers in heaven. Okay.

So then we see Mary who's just standing alone and she's like, why do I not know anyone here? Then she just starts smiling, because John comes, she's like, hi John, there's nothing really inherently interesting about that moment. But I feel like I'm watching. I feel like I'm watching. She walks in like everybody's supposed to come up to her

and lift her up and like do a production number or prompt her. So it's walks in and stands there like, um, so no one's gonna say hi to me. Okay, okay, this is great. Yeah, she probably gets hit by revolving doors a lot. It's sort of like that one moment in big business when they, when Betman, they're walks into the plaza and she's like, wow, and then the door just like slams her because that's marriage is walks in and plants, you know? Yes, or she's the lady. She's the lady in line when you're in line and she's the one you always have to say, oh, man, you can move up. You can move up now. She is so that person.

She is the person at, when you're in line at TSA and the lines are forward and she's on her phone and like if she does move up, she's like kicking her bag along the floor. Man, close the gap, please. So Whitney is like doing sexy dancing and doing shots with Justin and Justin Hanser is shot and she goes, ew, that's water.

He goes, yeah, that's a good thing Whitney. No, it was, no, it wasn't water. Oh, she goes, oh. That wasn't water. I just chased the Kila with Tequila. Oh, so Mary and Seth are talking at the bar and oh, sorry. Mary's like, oh, don't worry about me. I think there's water over there. I think there's water over there. He goes, they've got water. Come on. You guys got water.

All right, you know, we need, I want water cold enough to switch this chick's chakras up because this will be talking about today. I literally, his voice, it drives me nuts. and I have to switch this chick's chakras up because this will be talking about today. I literally, his voice, it drives me nuts. And then the producer asks Mary, like, why aren't you ordering Vita? And she goes, I feel like her cheeky little taste like water. And I didn't have anything flavorful. It's like, it's just like Lisa. It's like just blah.

And then it puts a weird taste in your mouth at the end of the day. It's like, okay. I need her to write a restaurant reviews Food is stupid. I didn't like it. It's like what's the point? Didn't update you So stuff's like, uh, you know what put a line in that to distinguish which ones Mormon and which ones not Mormon Okay, yeah And then Lisa starts giving up tour, starts talking about the buffet options.

She's like, well, we have amazing churros and this is pizza. And we have these amazing Chineseites and some chopsticks and this stir fry. Yeah, it's like an entire food court, but it's really just buffet chavers. Yeah, a way to just throw a cheap ass party, basically. You get, you guys my theme It was five dollars And you should have canceled the caterers on her. I know I'm surprised she didn't And she's just like um, sorry, but the mall has closed so

So Heather's like um well, I have been eating from all five countries represented here and Meredith goes, yeah, I had a slider. And that's all I'm hands off are. And then is it a Heather who just starts basically like you didn't have it with bread, right? You had it, she's like, no, I had my slider wrapped in a piece of lamb acid. Then I gave it to Seth. I actually didn't eat it at all. Yeah, Heather's like slider shaming her. She's like, she really was. I bet you didn't have any bread.

You probably had it with bread butter and maybe some lettuce something. Maybe a pickle. Maybe are the sugar? Is there sugar or pickles? It's true. That is what I did eat. Well, you know, Brooksees barely on saw and so out of solidarity. I don't want to have too many saws. Don't want to make him feel ashamed that he needs half of his food mixed up in a blender, which I still don't even know how to use. So Jenny, this is the favorite part of the episode for me because Jenny is at the bar doing her like soap opera.

She keeps turning around and looking at Mary and then slapping her head the other way like, oh! And then she tries it again, she looks at Mary and then she moves her head again. And Mary's not paying her any damn attention. Jenny is such a fucking tryhard. Yeah, I mean, Jenny tells us, you know, common decency is that when you see someone that you know, you say hi and you greet that person, and Mary, you just don't have any common decency

or common sense. Girl, am I invisible to your eyes? Girl! Like, you know what, Jenny, like, relax. There's actually, honestly, there's like no good reason for Mary to go up to Jenny, because Jenny has actually been so rude to Mary. I mean, admittedly, Mary said,

racially problematic things, which I think is informing some of Jenny's behavior. But also, Jenny has, it seemed like they had kind of squashed that and they had moved forward. And I just remember, I think the last episode or two episodes ago, when Jenny is like, you consider me a friend, and Mary's like, no, I don't.

So at that point, like, what do you want Jenny? She doesn't like you, she literally doesn't like you. Stop wanting her to come up and say hi to you. She's been very honest that she just doesn't like you. Also, you're standing right there. So common decency would suggest that you could go up and say hi. You're seeing someone you know, right?

Yeah. So she's all pissed off, but she is just determined to have a fight. She's gonna do whatever she can to try and get Mary mad. So she can turn around and say, oh look how angry Mary is. It's like classic housewives and it's not gonna work and I'd love that Mary does not let it work.

You know, Mary is not right this season. Okay, she's not, she's wrong. But man, you put up so many bigger assholes. Do you actually, I mean, it's listen. This one, I'm like, team Mary, sorry. We should not be, like I feel like there's really no world where I should ever, like I should be supporting Mary.

I mean, she's like a cult leader. She said, she did say racially problematic things and she didn't really seem to appreciate or understand why they were. She didn't seem to really get it. And yet I'm still oddly like, you know what? She said she doesn't like you. Like what do you want?

What do you want? Okay, what do you want from her? So then Seth and Doerier talking and Seth is like, wow, you're wearing a double breasted zoo. Didn't our sinew were a double breasted back in the day, bro, bro, fist bump, fist bump, bro. So then Shreef's talking to Mary and he's like, well, your timing was impeccable to allow my wife to visit the church because the people visit her and they were very sweet to her

and they were so kind to her and they were so kind there was so quiet I went to my little wife and Mary's like I mean they passed her a whole half full of cash I mean that was the nicest thing anyone's done for Jen in a long time they gave us some cardboard boxes you know Jen just took the collections so Mary's just nodding and he's like well you know you're being really kind to her. And she's like, you know why? Because the people at my church, they follow the lead. Okay, they're kind, they're kind because I tell them to be kind. Okay. And he's like, yeah, okay.

And he's looking at her like, wow, this lady's more off her rocker than I even thought, right? So he goes, yeah, the love, you know, it was the love. She goes, I have love. I forgive. I don't wobble. Okay. I don't wobble. Okay, I don't wobble in pain. I forgive and I move on.

And to all wobblers, I say, get crutches. No wobbling. I hate wobbling. I don't wobble in her. Do I wobble in her? Do I wobble in pain? Maybe, but what I don't do is I don't wobble in them. I don't wobble in them.

Do I wobble in my faith occasionally? But wobblers are not welcome. And as she's talking about how she forgives and how she's very forgiving and she doesn't, you know, I think I'm assuming she means that she doesn't wallow in these emotions. Yes, she's like, I forgive and I move on. And he's like, good, can I send you an invitation to sit on the jury with that beat? So then Whitney appears by Mary's side. And when he's like, can you come talk to me? And she's like, oh God, why Whitney? Why it on the heels of her saying how much she forgives

and moves forward? She's like, no. But please, oh my God, Whitney, what, what, what, talk about what, talk about what? And Sriphrabs her arm like, don't forget. You're against wobbling. So Mary is like, okay, first of all, you're not 100%. I can smell it. I smell it on your breath.

And when he's like, um, we're at a tequila event. Of course, you're gonna smell tequila on my breath. And you're like, well, I don't wanna talk to you when you're not a hundred. Cause I want to talk to you. Can you please come talk to me, Mary? Please about what? I just want to talk to you.

Bay, Bay, Bay, please give me a chance. I've talked to me. So they finally go to the side and talk and Mary's telling us like, can I get a sober Whitney? My God. Like she's never sober enough to even have a conversation, right? What's going on? She's got a point. So they sit down and Whitney's like, Mary, Mary, I'm sorry. I am sorry for talking about your church. And Mary goes, but why? Why'd you do it? And she's like, I did not say anything that's already at there.

I never dug. And Mary's like, well, my grandma used to say, it's not the people that say it. It's the people that carry it and believe it. I don't understand. Can you say that again? I wasn't hearing you. Shut up to my bell hops. Mary. So Whitney's like, um, can I finish before you talk about hopping bells? I would not have done that. Had you not put me down first? And Mary just rolls her eyes. And she's like, don't roll your eyes. Don't roll your eyes, Mary. And Mary is like, well, don't valedate yourself.

Okay, don't put me in a space. I'm not, I'm not a mean person. And so meanwhile, Jen and Jenny are sitting right next to Whitney, which is not helpful at all. So when Mary says I'm not a mean person, Jenny is like, oh, oh, did Mary just say she's not a mean person? And Mary is like, yeah, don't come at me,

like I'm trying to come and hurt people. I don't hurt people. Oh, it's okay to hurt me. It's okay to hurt me. It's like Jenny on the sidelines, just trying so hard to have a moment. She's trying so hard, like she's yelling, and Whitney puts her arm up to block her,

you know, because she's trying to like crawl over Whitney to fight with Mary on the couch. She's like crawling over. So Whitney puts up her arm and she's like, wait, hold on a second. What I was saying was, in veil, and then Jenny takes her arm and she like puts it down. And she's like, hey Mary, then why did you hurt me?

If you don't like to hurt people, Mary, why did you hurt me? And Mary goes, oh, just shut up. No, don't you tell me to shut up! Don't you tell me to shut up! And she starts freaking out and losing her mind. God, Jenny, you are terrible at this. Despite all of the, whatever all of the other things that came out about this season

that make you suck as a housewife without all of that you fucking suck. Get up my TV. It's interesting because Mary goes, okay, you get in hood on us and she says that to Jenny and Jenny does that's clearly a trigger for Jenny and now especially with all the stuff that's come out after the season that's like it, it has even broader context or a more significant context in terms of understanding Jenny. So she then really flips out about that. And she's like, did you just call me Jenny from the hood? Did you call me Jenny from the hood?

Are you educated? What did you just say? What did you just say? Which is like, you know like, obviously very patronizing, but also there's subtext there. Also, she did not say you're Jenny from the hood. She said it's getting hood in here, right? So Jenny is like, what did you just say?

What did you just say? Yalling. And Mary goes, oh my God, somebody please just get off this little ant. And just, did you say something Mary? Say it to my face so Mary keeps trying to walk off right she keeps trying to walk away from the Situation and Jenny just keeps running over so she walks off with Whitney Jenny comes running over screaming What did you just say say to my face and then they walk off again and Jenny just looks at the camera like really to my face. And then they walk off again. And Jenny just looks at the camera like really like they're the ones doing something wrong. Lady, you have a right to not speak to somebody.

I'm sorry. If somebody comes up yelling and screaming at me, I have the fucking right to walk away. What is wrong with this lady? And why do they allow her to do this? And well, and Jenny was came in trying to pick a fight. I mean, this is a, as a viewer, this is a very difficult situation because like you said before, Mary has done fucked up things and has said really fucked up things this season. And it's not an exoneration of that.

It's not a, it's not saying like we're cool with that if we're saying we're on her side. We're just saying in this specific fight, like it's like Jenny, you were trying to, you're trying to force a moment. And then Jenny tells us, you're not gonna walk away from me, like I don't matter. Don't look at me and say, I'm from the hood.

You don't know what the hood is, Mary. You grew up in Utah. Like, let's, Jenny, this is a losing argument for you. Yeah, and she didn't say you're from the hood. You idiot. So Jenny goes up to Whitney and Mary, again, and she goes, you know what? You know what, I was in that conversation and you were saying something and I'd like you to repeat what you said No one was fucking talking to you lady. Yeah, and so Mary just goes my god and she goes, oh, don't do the oh my god

And then do your eye thing that you do I think it's literally the most Entitled that Mary has been to do the, oh my god, I am an eye roll. Because it literally was like, she was having a conversation with Whitney. Whitney was actually trying to apologize or like passively, aggressively apologize. But there was like a ham fisted attempt at growth happening and Jenny interrupted it to make it all about her.

Yeah, this is Borderline assault at this point, just chasing her around. So Mary looks around kind of laughing because Jenny's obviously trying to get Mary to lose her cool, right? It's like a classic trick. And Mary's not, and she goes, well, I didn't sign up for you, which I thought was a very good answer.

Like, when I agreed to the beyond this show, it was not to be with you, Leah, I'm not doing a scene with you. So Jenny freaks out and raises up her hand and starts like flapping her other arm kind of hitting Whitney. Because she's acting like, yeah, I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna go out. And she actually hits Whitney and she's like, oh, I'm sorry Whitney. I really am sorry. I am really sorry.

But I didn't sign up for you either, Mary. Yeah, she goes, don't walk away. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. What did you say about me, Mary? What did you say about me? Why would she talk about like, like, like, look, why would anyone want to try to have a conversation with you right now? And I mean, the truth is, you know, Jenny, I do believe that Jenny has actually tried a little bit harder to be friends with Mary than Mary has the other way around. And Mary has been like extremely closed off.

Like she wouldn't even talk about her husband. But at that certain point, you then just have to accept it. Like this is just not a friendship. Like stop taking it so personally. Mary is like a whole other thing. Like why are you chasing this friendship down Jenny in this People have the right not to like you stalker. Okay people have the right not to like you So she just keeps and also why would she want to talk we keep acting up?

You're coming out her physically like she keeps like doing them like popping your head and her shoulders back like come on Mary Come on. Where where you walking way Mary say what you said to me and Mary says something like get rid of her she's like God just get rid of her and Jenny goes you said I'm psycho which she did not say you said I'm psycho okay now now you say you're gonna what you're gonna watch she said I didn't say that just then what did you say under your breath about me so she walks off again, and so now Jenny's screaming across the whole party run away run away Which yeah, I don't know what that was and then she like throws her glass down because because you oh you cuz you don't have something to say Mary by the way, do we do he's just like they're in the background not even trying to like

Be like hey honey like calm down or whatever. He's not like trying to sort of like, like calm the freight nerves of his loved one, which has me believing that that she told him going into the night, like I'm gonna have a scene just you watch. So then she throws us back. Also, just she didn't just throw the glass down, she threw the glass at Mary. Like it felt, it fell behind Mary, you know, but she didn't just drop the glass down. Also, she didn't just throw the glass down. She threw the glass at Mary. Like, it felt behind Mary, you know, but she didn't just drop the glass. She fucking threw a glass at Mary.

Yeah, and I think if Mary had done that, it would have been much more like, oh my God, you know. So then Jen Shaw is like, Jenny, been there, done that. I think my glass went a little farther than yours, but that was cute. Like well, to be fair, Leon Locke was the first one who did that kind of glass throw. Remember, he could carry. Yeah, he gets to brick wall. Against the trolley. At the winter wonderland party. Just like

Dunkin' Donuts. So yeah, Jen's bragging about being like a maniac too. And so Jenny screaming if you have something to say about me then you say it to my face Which no one has anything to say about you or she actually did say anything to you She was talking to Whitney saying that she's like not she doesn't try to come from a mean place She wasn't she wasn't gossiping about your lame Jenny you suck. you're a try hard no one likes you, get away from our table, you can't sit with us. And then meanwhile, you've got ding, don't, yeah empty chair. Empty chairs, love empty chairs. I hate that, I hate that we're also put in this position where we're defending Mary, because it's not a good idea.

I don't care, listen, it's defending each situation as it happens and clearly they're trying to get Mary to do like some angry black woman thing and it's not happening Sorry, I'm really happy that Mary chose this route. I am she's like fuck all these bitches. It's a really good point I grew up so then She's refusing to engage but then you've got ding-dong Whitney This is the other best part of the scene. Whitney just keeps following her around too. Every single time Mary walks off,

Whitney just keeps coming right up, turn and going, but in fail, okay, okay, we're gonna re-shoot over there. Okay, the cameras are moving, okay, well, but in fail. Okay, we're moving again, reset up. We're setting up a lot in fail. And then it finally ends with Whitney never getting to have her scene. And you see her in the background with her,

hands on her hips, so mad. And she's just like, I'm not moving anymore. I'm staying with this camera. So she's just standing there alone with one camera man waiting for someone to come fight with her. Yeah. And Mary just, she just runs away. And Mary's just like, you know, she's like,

she's like Jenny, you're a maniac. You got a maniac on the list. She's throwing glass. She says, I've never gotten glass, don't it me, from no one. And the fact that no one even cared was too much. Makes you wonder, who are your friends and who's not? Yeah, so then Jenny is yelling at Whitney now.

She goes up to Whitney and she goes, I can't believe you were saying, fucking sorry to her and trying to talk to her She's just gonna do it again Whitney Yeah, I wouldn't say what I'm apologizing for is that I called her church a cult. I should have said It's a church and a cult and General's like, oh is it not a cult and Jenny like, yeah, it's not a cult since when? She says, well, I don't have the facts, but I want her to know that I said that.

I was like, really? Cause weren't you the one of the ones who came on the season with the Mary has a cult storyline? Yeah. And so then like, do we, do we like cleaning up Jen, his mess with a rag and then smiling, smiling by the way, hilarious, do we do is like cleaning up Jenny is mess with a rag and then smiling smiling by the way.

Hull area is do we haul air. Jenny of course has no problem then going up to Lisa and be like, oh, I'm so sorry, Lisa, I didn't mean to do any of that. Yeah, right. Yeah. Right. This literally the most controllable situation like she wasn't fighting with you. You were chasing her down.

You mean you were you chased somebody around a party for no reason, throwing glass at them on accident? Fuck you, you're terrible. I'm so glad you're fired. So, um, uh, so yeah, at least it's like, why are you apologizing? I don't care. Brack, some shit, just not my signs or the unbushed bottle that we're preparing. Yeah. So then the guys are having like a wacky guy seen and so awkward. And Sean's like, guys, you remember that great idea we had for our wives sending them to Zion. Oh, I think that had its ups and it downs. Hey, I

called my neighbor who can soles me. And Seth goes, well, the good news is that they came back with their chakras aligned, right? Where's Mary? Oh, she gone. She gone. Notice, I only said she and gone. There was no verb.

I'm so young. Jack was. So John's like, where should we send them next time to like further? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So, the ladies gather and Lisa's like, I've wanted nothing more than for us all to get along and to pay $7 for one size to pizza.

Subarroway, yes! Yes, I love that Subarroway. So, I don't want to be neutral. I just want us all to be strong and to be friends. Kambigata! Kambigata! Kambigata! And um, so then, uh, Jens like... Murth, are we friends? We're in a neutral space, but do you consider me a friend?

And Murth is like... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Yes, but I can't give you the proper support as a friend because I'm still still dealing with my own pain my own trauma and Bruxy's diapers But you're dealing with your pain in your trauma, but you can be friends with everyone else but me Yes, you are the pain and the trauma. Also, you just committed allegedly some heinous crimes and just want to be friends with you. Again, people have the right to not be your friend. Yeah, Jen, every time you are making progress with Meredith, you send it back by aft doing this thing like, why can't we be friends?

Just let her come to you. She's a cat, let her come to hold on your hand, and let her come to you and graze up upon you. Literally, last week, you were screaming at her that she was cheating on her husband with 10 different people. Yeah, and that too.

I mean, she's like, I just don't get it. You just had your finger in her face screaming about like leading a secret life and having all these boyfriends. Yeah. So Heather's like, well, be clear with her what the pain in the trauma is about Meredith. Meredith invited you into her life and it became too close for comfort very quickly and

you felt betrayed. Okay, but then I need you to tell her that I did not talk about her marriage. Yes, you fucking did. It was on camera. On camera. Well, I'm not rehashing. I'm not rage. And Jen's like,

but I feel like that's where it's coming from. It's about me and how you're treating me and your friends with everyone else, but I'm Neutron. I'm Neutron just like some person on Fun Federal Charges who talks about your family. It made fun of your son on the internet and like, I can't be friends with you.

I married this and I was like, you know what else? I can't want you damn to live in the night. And she's like, Whitney, you're the one who said all this stuff and I'm the one getting crucified and Whitney goes, oh yeah then this is about veil. And Jen just stops her fake crying and goes, no, not about veil, about last year. Remember when I sent you that email, I said I'm going to bring up the stuff from last year, right? The veil, you've been totally different.

So Whitney's like, it's Jen out of her mind. Like she is the one who started the conversation about marriage, this year your marriage last. She may not have continued to talk about it, but if you're the one who starts it, you're blem, blem, oh God, it's hard. If you start it, you're the one to blame. Which is so funny, because all these story lines were started by Wippy. Right, so it's like kind of a funny thing for her to say. And then the editors give her a... Also, we get a clip of, of course,

it was Gen Shaw starting the thing about Meredith cheating. Whitney even stopped with her tiny little weights in that scene and was like, wait, whether you're doing right now. So Meredith's like, now Meredith has decided this is her big screaming moment because she didn't get her either. So she's gonna make it happen now too. She's like, you're going, you're going, you're going, you're trying to find my marriage right now. When I work at my own, I know out girls, man, man. But of course she just stands there because that's Meredith's thing. She has to come back about five times before she actually leaves. She doesn't even bother leaving this time. So Jen goes,

Meredith, it's not about it. It's not, well then, stop talking about it. I'm not going here, Jen. I'm not going here, Jennifer. Shuh. But this is about me. This is about my feelings. Which is so Jen. And Lisa's like,

Loss I'm not right now! I think all Jenn is trying to say. Okay, great. So now you're gonna stick up for Jenn some more. Like, have you guys not even been in these scenes that we've been watching? Like, how are you still making the same mistakes? I know. All I think Jenn is trying to say is, I'm by part, I thought she wants to be a bad one. Is the problem here? What is it you all need to know?

We discussed this last year. You want me to talk about the people you are dating? I can do that. And she's like finger waving and her head shaking off the top of her head and shoulders and Whitney and Heather just walk off and Heather goes, let's fucking go. I hate these bitches. Yeah, Meredith is now raving.

She's like, you want me to talk about who you date and I'll go there. Just like I say to Brooks when we pass by, kids are us. I'll go there. And so everybody gets the hell out of there, because now she's threatening to. It takes about two months. Literally, yes, literally everybody scatters. So it's just her engine.

And she's like, I mean, she reads just right over there. And she's like, I'm out. And then she tells us, yes, I am instant information of all the other women having extra marital affairs. It's imperative that it's now finally getting real messy. And Seth is like, whoa, I didn't hear you get a safe word from me. Yeah, while you missed it.

Whoa, I really, I didn't hear, come on my face. Seth, I told you I didn't hear come on my face I didn't want that same for her Just a disgusting same for her alright, so they walk out arm and arm and loud enough for everyone to hear she has They've dated and not how many knows them. Submitted tells us that trust may have plenty of darkness around him that I am more than happy to talk about even though I clearly am not talking about it. They pass the camera man and just married it goes. Oh, something I I dated other people. Oh!

Ah! And then we got our first update. Meredith and Seth are more in love than ever. They recently celebrated their 25th anniversary. No boob cakes were involved. So then Jen and Lisa, Jen's like, you're signing up for somebody, okay? Jen's trying her old trick.

Like, look, you just signed up for Meredith. And the promoters did to me. I've been signing up for Meredith. Okay, because it's not my fucking fault. Does she fuck the empire and her fucking Easter Upper East Side? Okay. Which is where Lisa got it from. I mean, is that crazy?

That it's the exact same thing that Lisa said behind the closed doors? Jen wasn't there to hear that. So all that stuff that Lisa said, she heard directly from fucking Jen's mouth, which I thought was a funny way to end it too. Right. And I just, I just also love the idea of Jen saying like, Lisa, you're signing up for somebody. It's not my fucking fault. You're signing up for this person. Well, you should be signing up for it's, of course, it hasn't had a built your own website, okay? Because that's what you should really be signing up for. I know she uses that terminology when that's why she's about to spend like decades in jail.

I'm like trying to get people to sign up for her. I mean. And her update is- Allegedly, allegedly. Jen is anxiously awaiting her trial in March of 2022, which is next month, guys. And in the meantime, she tries to stay positive and relish the good times

and avoid thinking about my old closet. She's, um, so she's going off about how, you know, who's still here? Meredith runs off and so if we're gonna crucify Mary Crosby for running off, then we better do the same for her. No one is crucifying Mary Crosby for running off. God damn.

Mary Crosby was not so much running off. She was chased off by Jenny. Let's not overlook that part. She's avoiding flying glass. Okay. So then we see Mary actually walking on the sidewalk and Mary is spending 2022 focusing on the joys in her life. She's spending more time with her son, her church,

and her mannequins, which actually literally like her DVD set of mannequins, one, two, and perhaps unreleased. It's the king. Yeah, she's spending a lot of time with King Catrown mannequin singing, singing a lot of, singing a lot of starship. Mary now has a fear of being in a mall when it closes. So then Whitney is like, I want to get blacked out because I just remembered the sex scene I filmed with my husband. Oh gosh. She's like straddling Justin as he sits on a couch like grinding him

and taking shots with me. Keep it close. Stay classy over there Okay, and Whitney is like treated the title of little girl for See how it's like the lady who swings from shambles ears, but it's moisturizer I'm a focused on more alone time with Justin unless robotic sex. Yeah. John, I can't like tell you like how grateful like I am like, John. And he's like, me too. Can I get a drink?

No, John, say your attack today. Lisa has spent the last few months reflecting on her friendships. She's decided to be more upfront about her feelings when she's not miked in the privacy of her own home. Alright, I was kaii. And then Heather's joking with John. Like well, I'm thrilled I finally got my first Lisa Barlow invitation. You know, I mean, take it slow though. It's like take it slow with this friendship.

And Heather has officially embraced being an ex-mormon to celebrate she took a yacht trip to Norway, no word yet if she snagged herself a Viking. It's a weird way to end it. I know, they'll say. To celebrate leaving a religion, she went to Norway, like two Mormons not believe in Norway. I mean, Scandinavia is too close to the outer darkness in the winter.

It's like the outer darkness. And of course, no final update for Jenny. Well, truly amazing season with a lot of like moral quagmires. And I mean, it's amazing that Jen Shaw, the one who is accused of massive federal crimes into fraud and so many people, is not somehow at the bottom of the list for these ladies. That's crazy. That's why this season was so amazing. Yeah, sure was. And now we've got one of the weirdest reunions we're going to sit through in a while. Looks crazy. Just because not because of screaming and yelling, just because of Jen's entire head trying to peek out from behind the dress the whole

time. Yes, lots of feathers. Thank you all for listening. Again, get some crap in smerch at crapinsmerch.com and be sure to get tickets to our shows in like Philly and DC and St. Paul, et cetera, et cetera. Go to watch crapins.com to get your tickets there. We'll talk to you next time. Love you guys! Hi! Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itchels, Danac, Danadoo. Aaron McNickles, she don't miss no trickle-ists. Itch-oals. Dan-o-c. Dan-o-doo. Aaron McNickles. She don't miss no trickle-us. Hava-Neggila Weber. Jamie. She has no less name-y.

Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Jess saying, okay. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Wee McLevin. Karen McLelin. She's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Megan Berg.

You can't have a burger without the burger. She's our queen, Marie Levine. always supplying, it's Kelly Ryan. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg! She's our queen, Marie Lavigne! Let's give a kiss, Arino, to Lisa Lino! There ain't no problem that Sarah Solvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Betches! Betches! And our super premium sponsors? Somebody get us 10ccs of Betcmd.

Always the wiser is Allison Weisler! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva. She's cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle. Erica, 500 days of summers. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. My favorite Merto, Karen McMurdo.

No one makes us feel well like Megan Capciwell. Mina Kutty Kutty Kutty Kutty. Give him hell, Miss Noelle. Sarah Greenwood, she only uses her power for good. Kristen, the Ruby Rubano. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. We want to hang with Liz Lang. Shannon, out of account in Anthony.

Let's get Racy with Miss Daisy. Let's take off with Tamela Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondery Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.