Watch What Crappens - RHUGT: Carnival Cruise

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens* It's Real Housewives of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip: Thailand episode 3! In this ep, Leah gets called out for her Leah-ness and the Real Housewives Boat Curse strikes again. For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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broms. I'm Ronnie. Hi everybody. Welcome to the show today. I'm with a gorgeous man. You know what? He's not only gorgeous on the outside. His heart is actually very fuckable too. Welcome. The hottest heart of life. Ben Mantleger. Hi Ben. Ben. Thanks for giving me a hot heart. Yeah, I'm sticking my penis in your heart. Yeah, my heart's a fuckboy though. Be careful. Fuck heart. Welcome everybody to watch what crap is today is a very special day because it is real housewives ultimate girls trip day. Again, we are really pumping these out because that's what that's what the penguin did, okay? The peacock. And the penguin.

Which is penguin. You know, penguins pump a mat too. They just walk a lot further to do it. I've seen penguin documentaries. But peacock is pumping a lot out. So here we are pumping them out. And also, guess what? The week with traveling.

So these episodes are going to be airing while we fly to cities to bring you library caps in Seattle of Real Housewives of New Jersey. That's this Thursday night. And then Friday night, we're going to be in San Francisco, California, at the Palace of Fine Arts to bring you Vanderpump Rules Live. Those are both huge shows, but they're also huge audiences. So get some tickets, come see us. And then I'm going to run through what we're doing in the next month. We're going to go to Toronto, Philadelphia, followed in May by New York City, Washington, DC, and then we've got a huge June. So if you want all those dates, go over to watch itcrapins.com.

You will also find links to our Patreon. That's where you get videos, Crappins on demand videos. Hi, we're on it right now. Hi, hi, is the video free? Yeah. Well, alternate golf drift video recap, crap, it's on demand, video's on demand, video's on, we're on it right now. Hi, hi, is it video recap? Well, ultimate goal strip, video recap, okay? Yeah, so that's where you get those, also our bonus episodes and all that good stuff. Thank you to everybody who supports us on Patreon.

Thank you all for coming to our shows. We love meeting you and seeing you. And I'm gonna, you know, try and get past that now, because I know we do this every day to you. And these recaps are very long. So let's get to it, Ben. Let's get to it. Let's get, let's get into it. So real housewives, ultimate girl trip, episode three, season three. We are in a restaurant.

It's evening. And Leah has just declared that Alexia's story about her husband to having a secret illicit gay love affair with a hot, musli escort is boring. Well, Leia texted for a dinner because she asked privately. She asked Alexia for the story privately. So Alexia told her the whole thing and now she's telling everybody the whole thing, you know, sorry, Leia, that's how it works.

And Leia doesn't like things being repeated, but I think she'll say grandma about 10 more times in this episode. I'm, yeah. I guess, unfortunately, this story is just not as fascinating about as like hearing how she dated a guy that she calls PETA or however X, how they like, they are, they aren't together anymore, but like he's still very much in his daughter's life and in her daughter's life. Like, I guess we're just not gonna have stories as interesting as those that she likes to tell.

Over and over and over again. Leah has been called out. Everybody's like, whatever, don't tell her she's boring. And she's like, I didn't say boring. And then we see proof that she did, in fact, say that. So we start with these black and white freeze frames of this fight going down. Like, it's the biggest thing we've ever seen. And then we come So we start with these black and white freeze frames of this fight going down. It's the biggest thing we've ever seen.

And then we come back and start with Leah Sank-Marry. So you're in a bad mood because your stomach hurts. I don't take it out on me. It's not my fault that you're drinking vodka every morning. Congratulations on not drinking for a year or two. You don't get to do that. You know what I mean? Like you don't get to drink shame people. I get to drink. We get to. You don't get to do that. You know what I mean? Yeah, like you don't you don't get to drink shame people. I get to drink. We get to you don't get to. That's not cool. Marisol's like you're

recovering alcohol. I guess not my fault. I know how to monitor my cocktails. I'm happy drunk. Okay. She had to give it up. She was torturing people around her and then she's projecting at me that I drink too much. I didn't have to quit you had to quit I'm fine. I Like I think she actually one point calls herself a hobby drunk, which I think is hilarious I didn't see the other is like in addition to the happy drunk. She's also a hobby like this is my hobby Okay, I'm on all the forums, you know, happy drinker.net You know you can find me.

Kaki 347, I wrote something really interesting in the forum today, which is like, Hey guys, anyone got a stomachache? Five responses so far, such a hobby. But also have to, well, I'm calling bullshit on people. Yeah, you shouldn't say that either to somebody like, well, you're recovering alcohol, like it's not my fault. I know how to moderate my drinking. Like, no, you just haven't really admitted that you can't moderate your drinking.

You know what I mean? That's really the only difference with Carlos. It's a pretty callous thing to say, but at the same time, Leah, Leah basically put herself in a position where she is, um, callus ready. Yes. You deserve it. She will be receiving callus ready yes you deserve she will be receiving callus it was in self defense the cow it was self defense callusness so lea loses so then we get the opening dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun

still not happy with it i need more i mean it's not too late guys okay listen to the people give us a real song the sucks i i feel like every i feel like every girl's trip theme song should be a variation on housewives on the island baby. Obviously, they're not always on an island, so it can't be always the same lyrics, but it should be like a different arrangement of that song. As well as into Thailand, baby. And then the body start. As well as the island in Thailand, baby. Yeah. How's that in Thailand, baby. Yeah, how's the island? What is the third island?

Yeah, island. Like that theme song? Do you remember the first time you heard that theme song? And you were like, holy shit. We never heard anything like this in the Bravo universe. It was so big and exciting and bold. And it was so perfect. And now we just have this sad kind of like

Patrick of Garage Band loops of like dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun Yeah, you can't give us a real theme song and then give us this. Okay, we were nice about the Dorenda theme song because I felt like that one at least had a theme which was murder, right? Yeah, I kind of matched the crazy old mansion, but it was also, I thought it sounded like that only murders in the building theme as well. And you know, only succession in the building. You only six. Oh, yeah. And Dharinda has the 10 little Indian things on her fireplace,

like from the Agatha Christie novel. So it is like murder, you know. So that makes sense. This one's just now. Oh, but this that makes sense. This one's just, no. Well, this one makes sense in that it's like tie themed, but it's just sort of, it's like a, it's too slow. It's just like a little kind of like, wow. There's no forest, there's no open, there's no bridge. Where's the bridge? Where's the, where's the love?

Where's the bridge? Okay, so let's go back to the show. So we open the show, it's terrible. And then just like, what would you like us to do, Lea? She goes, if you're so bored. And Lea is like, I mean, I don't know. Like, why are you asking the woman with like a period 28 days out of a month?

Like, what am I supposed to say? Okay. Let's just talk about some of like the, I don't know, let's talk about something about, we don't know about whatever, like, you know, I just like, listen, don't talk to me. Like, I don't know, let's talk about something about it, I don't know about whatever, like, you know, I just, like, listen, don't talk to me, like, I don't want the floor anymore, I don't want it anymore. It just, I was like, well, this is a very compelling story. Yeah, I enjoyed it.

I'm not, I'm not enjoyed it, Alexia, but I appreciated it. It's not boring to me. Yeah. And Porsche is like, okay, well, we're just trying to figure out what Liam wants to talk about. I guess she wants to talk about pain. This is everybody. So they're totally, now it's like anti-Lia. Like people are officially sick of Leo's shit, right? So, Leo's like, I mean, it is a little bit of a snooze-fast guy. Sorry. And Heather goes, then ask questions about it. What kind of gay was it? Was it the kind of gay that you could, you know, ask to start a choir for you? Or was it the kind of gay who makes fun of you on the internet? Which kind? Like,

there's so many places, there's so many directions, the story could go. Yeah. And so, Porsche's like, yeah, well, she doesn't want to know anything else. And then he goes, that's true. So then there's like this awkward. I've added to Leah because she at least stands her ground. She's like, she's boring. I'm not going to say it's not boring. And I'm not going to Leah because she at least stands her ground. She's like, yeah, she is boring. I'm not going to say it's not boring. And I'm not going to cry because you guys are mad. The story is boring.

Period. I do like that she's sort of unflapable, even though they say that she is flappable. I do like that she's unflapable, but she's also an asshole. She's a troll. You know, she is the definition of a troll. She is a troll. She gets off on it. She tries to make people mad and then she totally gets off on them being mad. Yeah. So just I was like, well, let me say

this. If I share a story and you're bored with it, and it's my life, and it's personal to me, that's not cool. Well, thank you. You don't ever do that. I think that's a deep theoretical. I think you're safe, babe. Yeah. And it is like, well, I didn't mean in a disrespectful way. I'm sorry, it came off that way. That's it. I just meant it in more like a, oh my God, this story is so boring. Why is this woman even on this show with us? She's such a stupid slut.

I hate her. That's all. Yeah. And so there's no reaction, because it's like the worst apology ever. And Porsche is disappointed that there's no fight. She's like, damn, your all-sapologies come quick. And then you just, that's it. That's all I'm saying.

I didn't mean to disrespect for you. Just disrespect. You've got to move in board with my own apology. So it's boring fucking night I've ever had in my life. So Lexi is like, honestly? Like, I don't know what's going on with Leah, but I don't know what's going on with her. I'll tell you that much.

And so Leah's like, I mean, come on guys, Alexia sucks the air out of the room sometimes. Like, yes, that is true. But you're also like a flesh like complaining about suction. You know what I mean? Like, you're not what the talk. So, Leah's like, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just bored. Oh, by the way, why is Shannon Bedouard not on one of these real housewives ultimate girl strips?

Hello, what is I mean she is the most neurotic traveler of all time with come on now come on Lea's like she's like all right. I'm disrespectful. Okay fine and push it like well if she doesn't want to go It's no anybody and then I don't feel like she should be here. And Candace is like, well, Juzelle, you're in Miami. Were you in Miami with a man? Just Candace base is like, okay, fine, whatever. Let's put Juzelle in the hot seat, if Juzelle's, you know, like, because why not? Yeah, and Juzelle goes, oh, were you asking if Shunida

has a man? Ha, ha, ha. So she starts this whole Shunida might not need a man, because she might have seen a man. Oh, so she starts this whole Anita might not need a man because she might have seen a man. So you should call me might have seen a man. Yeah, she's got to go get trull up on before you go to Thailand. Come on now. So then Jizelle starts stand. She's like stands up because her butt's hurting

because apparently they've been there for hours and they're at the table. And push just like, what are you doing? That looks like really weird. She's like stands up because her butt's hurting because apparently they've been there for hours and they're at the table and Portia's like what are you doing that looks like really weird and she's like I don't even care at this point My butter it's a Lee and Candice go off to the bathroom and Lee is like um, I think everyone hates me She goes no, they don't she goes yeah, like everyone took it so seriously like it's not that serious like sometimes people need to be told They're dumb okay, that's not that serious. Sometimes people need to be told they're dumb. Okay, that's it.

And she's like, yeah, it's not like I said, I wanted a murder of children or something like that. Yeah, and Candace is like, I don't think anyone's really upset. I wouldn't worry about it. One thing about Leah, she's gonna say whatever she thinks and feels. And that's the New York in her. I don't think that wasn't the time to say it. I don't think that was the time to say it

and you know what to say that she was bored but Alexia was talking at Nazim and as far as I could tell there were no hit songs coming out of her mouth like the ones that come out of mine. You better drop back and drop back. So back to the table everyone's like, this is boring. Another no bored.

Yeah, I'm out another board is something real, which is this lady boy's night that is turned into nothing, but sitting there forever. So they're like, what is going on? Are we going to actually have this lady boy night? And, um, Porsche is like, I mean, there was definitely a point to this night. It was to have those cards get shady.

And Lexi is like, oh yeah, the point was to talk about you That was the point so they all crack up and Alexi is like because apparently I'm boring apparently It's like okay, Alex you know Alex is really mad because last year You know the whole thing that everyone was saying about Alex is wow like everyone loved Alexia last year Because like everything in the world happened to Alexia so she probably was like yeah I'm the one that like everything in the world happened to Alexia. So she probably was like, yeah, I'm the one that like everything in the world happens to like, I'm the most exciting person there is. So to come out here and have someone tell her that she's boring, she probably cannot

process that. Yeah. So they're all waiting for Candaceus to disappear. So they're like, okay, she's probably gonna do a show or something. And Marisol, meanwhile, her stomach is gone really bad. She's like, I mean, it's like it's burning. It's just like terrible on me. And God, like, I'm having a stomach disaster. It's just like burning. And it's like someone's like, someone, like there's gas in it, and someone lit the fire and the gas in my stomach.

This is terrible. So she goes off to go talk to a pair of addicts or stomach. I mean, she clearly has an ulcer, by the way. Like, it's like so obvious. She has an ulcer and she keeps drinking booze to it's like so obvious. She has an ulcer, and she keeps drinking booze to try to fix it. And it's just getting worse and worse. Yeah. So Candice goes to the special performance area where she's keeping all the lady boys, and they start squealing and cheering for her when they see her. And because Lord knows what

they've been told, they probably just told international pop star from America is coming. So they're freaking out. And she had sent them a video. So they learned to dance and choreograph the whole thing. And she's like, it feels like a pop star to perform at Thailand. It's another step to submitting me as an artist. I'm international now. This is some straight up James Kennedy bullshit,

like the time that like they played his song at a club in Mexico once when he went up to DJ and says can you play my song? And he's like, they're playing me in Mexico. They're playing me in Mexico. I'm international baby. I'm like, no. So, uh, find a doctor and I don't know. First I thought he was English, but then is he Southern? What's his doctor? So I think he's not saying I'm dying. I just want to enjoy my trip. Just fixed me.

He's like, have you been drinking some today? What have you been doing? You been drinking, you bad girl. You were naughty. You were not here to know, then a rope hanging over the side of a boat. And I could have been in naughty, guy. I feel like this guy collects beauty babies.

He's like, he's like, okay, you know what? There's this drug. That's like a bunch of other drugs together, but in the shot, we're gonna try that on you, honey. Okay, it's gonna look real nice. I think you got an ulcer. Yeah. This is really good. She goes, oh, I mean, I've been drinking a little

because I just can't drink very much. Oh, by the way, I do drink all day every day. And he goes, oh, I know. I can see your face. What? How dare you? Oh, by the way, I do drink all day every day. And he goes, Oh, I know, I can see your face. What? How dare you? Oh, yeah. So she's getting her medical checkup in the corner. And the lady boys come out and they do this show. They're like doing kind of like a performance to a royalty-free single ladies. Because you know, that noise in single

ladies that sort of sounds like a computer alert. Like you. Because you get like that, you know that noise in single ladies? That sort of sounds like a computer alert. Like you tried to click on something that wasn't available. It has the same beat as like. That's good. That's how they just like it. You know what I'm saying? If you enjoyed it, then you probably should have put

an item of jewelry on it. If you enjoyed it, then you should have put some jewelry on it. Whoa, ha, ha, ha, he ha, whoa, who, who, how, how, how. And yeah, the song is like, I'm chilling with my girls on the town. I'm chilling with the girls on the town. KFC, KFC, we have KFC, KFC. All the women who are engaged, all the women are engaged.

All the women who are engaged, all the women who are engaged, all the women who are engaged, all the women who are engaged. Everybody is wooing and she's like, wow, some of them are women, right? And she's like, no, it's just hell. So they do full choreography, which is really good. And the canvases weren't this crazy dress, as she should be, those are performance, like this crazy marshmallow realness dress, she calls it.

So they like it. And at least, this look is saying, take me into the shower with you and then put some dove soap on me and then wash yourself with me. Move me around your body. It was one of the finest things I think Leo's ever said. And then Porsche was like, she looks like one of those sponges for your back.

And she's like, a Lufa. And she's like, yeah. And then one of the dancers falls over, poor thing. And then they say. And it was so embarrassed for that dancer. It's like, yeah. And then one of the dancers falls over, poor thing. And then they, they, It was so embarrassed for that dancer. It's like, goodbye knees, because you know, after that, they're like, no, you're never welcome to this troupe again.

Bam! And so then Candace, of course, is singing, drive back and everything. And it's like, it's being played out of not even like a Bluetooth speaker, I think they just have, like an iPhone that's playing somewhere near the camera, you know Yeah, and then the audio cuts out and then it comes back in and I was like oh my god I mean the vocal track cuts out and she doesn't skip a beat

I mean wow these are legends that I'm with your musical and otherwise I mean she prances around the stage like a true professional. I mean, I would scary off like Ashley Simpson on Saturday night long. I am asked to be here right now. So now it's time to go home and they're all getting back in the vans and Heather can't get into the vans she's trying to get into and she goes, oh, I got ejected. So I guess I'm going with Betty LaValle. But Betty LaValle, I'm so excited. Get ready. We're making a Spotify playlist. The second my butt hits that C. Yeah. Yeah.

By the way, can you believe that the Ashley Simpson SNL thing was almost 20 years ago? It happened in 2004. That is, we are, that's 19 years ago. Is that crazy? I don't remember it. What happened? Ashley Simpson was a guest in SNL, and for her second song, it was like the wrong tracks

hard to play, because it was like singing to track or something, and she got awkward and then ran off the stage. And it became a whole thing, and it ended her career. Oh, really? She's not still around Ashley Simpson? No, she was, no, not like that. She's gone now. Not like that.

She was a rising star and then the star rose and then went down. Yeah, it's very bravo. Very bravo. So, Portia's like, oh my god, that was the longest dinner ever so then in the other band Heather is with Mary soul And she's like is there vodka in the bottle in here Mary soul goes. Yes. I'm Mary soul can't I join you? Oh, come on and how this like are you speaking of Mary soul in the third person? That is so famous of you Yeah, so So they're like they're just like talking, they're

just like joking around and stuff. And then, um, Jacelle is saying that Candace is, she's saying that Candace's nature is actually not that petty. She's like saying that Candace is a responder more than an initiator. And she's like, never the one to be mean first, she'd normally reacts. And then we get like, Candace is greatest hits. So we see Shasha being like, I don't play with Kidthunny.

Well, I don't play with old ladies. And then Ashley saying, you shouldn't be yelling at me in your mom's house. And then her doing the butter knife thing, the infamous being held back from attacking Ashley with a butter knife. And yes, saying, I wanted to show him to something that wasn't low budget can and the kid is going, your mom is a budget.

What's your mouth? So then we come back and Porsche is like, that's why I was like, hold on. We're getting there. Come on. And she goes, it's like when you're in elementary school and a little boy's pulling your hair because he likes you. It's cute. She made her whole game centered around giving me a name.

That's cute. I mean, I've been on it, Lana Housewives. This is Baby Shade. Baby Shade. Yeah, it is. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crapence commercial. If you're a hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty. And now more than ever, it's really important to hire the right people faster and more efficiently because you gotta keep the overall cost down. And thankfully, there's a hiring partner who's focused on you and your needs, and that is Zip Recruiter.

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Drag back? Oh my god I get to sing this song with the actual artist in the van with me Drag back on the Mary Mary so I go wait what song is that? So it's got it's his song she just sang it she goes. Oh, that's your song. Wait a minute that lyric the cars aren't compliant The cars aren't compliant. Is that what it says? And Candice is like pumping the brakes on cars that aren't compliant. She's like, this is music?

Like, oh, mom, let me just, how long will we just pick up Steve's so I can hear some sanity? Oh, she picks up that Steve's like, love and death man of mine. And thank you, Steve. Just wanted to remember what music all of these sounded like.

See you soon, Annie. I loved Marisol being so puzzled. She's like, wait, you wrote a lyric with the words non-compliant. Cars aren't compliant. Like, what? Like, these are your lyrics? It's not like D'Anity Kane, though. I always like that one D'Anity Kane song, great song, wonderful song, but that sort of stuff like, do you need to have a first aid kit handy? I'm like, what lyric is that? How do you start a song saying, do you have our first aid kit handy? Do you need a first aid kit? So now it's damaged.

Yes, anyway, sorry, go on. And now we're in the morning and Pepsi comes to Alexi's room and he's like, I've got good news for you. Matter so are you good? And she's like, I'm testing different medications. That's right. That Southern doctor just said a lot of things. This one I think is supposed to help with something he called ratchet.

I'm not sure. I'm putting it in my mouth. Oh, I'm confused. He gave me this medicine. He said it's just Tennessee's seeds of hummingbird cakes. I don't even understand how that's going to help me. So he's like, it's sunshiney. So we could have the yacht party.

So I guess this is Alexia and Mary Soles Day, which is a yacht party because that's what we do in Miami. Okay. You look sexy. There's air. There's water. I'll bring Miami to Thailand. I was like, wow, you're bringing boat trips to a place on the water. That's what we do in Miami, okay? You look sexy, there's air, there's water. I'll bring Miami to Thailand. I was like, wow, you're bringing boat trips to a place on the water?

That's amazing thinking. Yeah, thank you. I never thought of that. Muncher, nobody in Thailand was like, you know what guys, we should try floating with some music. Yeah. So they're gonna go to this island where they can see dolphins

and they can go snorkeling and stuff. It like says, oh, well, you know, Marisol loves to snorkel. And Marisol's like, yeah, especially with my weave in. Ha. So Pepsi's like, oh, well, they have a hot tub too. And Marisol's like, oh, did he say they have hot sake? You know, maybe hot sake would work. I mean, it's, it's boiled rice.

I mean, you keep telling me to eat rice. So maybe I should have some hot sake. I mean, it's basically got Leah's personality. So how bad can it be for your stomach? Am I right? Like the worst that can happen. My stomach's going to get bored to death and fall asleep. So they're saying that the brochure is like, wah, wah, wah.

But like, you know what, we need to sell more tickets to the brochure, okay, then Candace Candice, okay, we gotta do better. And well, I'm with the goodness is that we don't lip sync. So then Heather is rubbing her butt with bronzer, and she's like, gotta get Portia to run for money with this one. Portia's been walking around with her big butt. And so Heather's like, gonna drive back, drive back. She was just loving it. And so Pepsi's bringing breakfast for Leah and stuff because Leah's been in bed. She was up all night on Red Bull.

So she's like sleepy and she only has a few minutes to get ready. And then we see gray skies. We see pool floats falling off the infinity pool. So I guess Leah really did have her cause for concern the previous episode when she thought she was gonna fall over the edge of it. Cause stuff actually does fall off the edge of it. So I thought the infinity pool was an illusion

where it looks like there's an edge, but there's no edge, but there really is a secret edge. Yeah, oh well there's just kind of an edge, but then there's that little part you fall down into. It doesn't really just go into oblivion, you know. You know, right? I do. I'm talking to it.

You know that don't you know that what I'm talking to you like you're fucking more on his never been in a pool. No, but I mean, I actually don't have a lot of experience with infinity pools. How was shocked when I learned that about infinity pools? Cause I lived in LA for so long, but I never knew anyone rich enough for a pool, you know, and when they were, it's like the size of a postage stamp, I ain't going in there. But when I actually saw my first infinity pool,

they're so neat, but then you look down and the water's falling into like a little pool. And I'm like, oh, it's so unimpressive. What I have to walk in there, I was like very infinity pooled judgy. So yeah, it's fairly reason for me. So I have to ask people, are you familiar with how infinity pools work?

Yeah. Are you up to date on the latest infinity pool designs? Right. So anyway, so Heather is the only one at breakfast. Of course, I mean, Heather really is the new girl at school trying to stay with the popular girls. And she's like, she's sitting there ready for portion. Just to come in. She's like, ready for the office. The office are going to come in.

You're going to have a great breakfast. I guess it's me. I guess it's not me only wanting to have breakfast. I like to thank everyone for joining me at breakfast today. I've never felt like more of a group in my life. Okay. I guess I'll just put away these breakfast presents I made for my new besties. I'll just put these bracelets down here under the table. just presents I made for my new besties. I'll just put these bracelets down here under the table. So Pepsi goes to see Candace and she's like, so Pepsi, what's the tea? And he's like the tea and she's like,

yeah, you know that term, right? It means like what's going on? Like what's the tea? And he's like, we've got hot tea today at Pretendia. And she's like, oh hot tea on the yacht. So cute. I love Pepsi. Yeah, he's like, it's gonna be hot, hot. So now, just like more like getting ready.

Lea's washing her face. She's always asking Whitney about last night. And it wouldn't he's like, last night, it was a lot. It was a lot. Like I lost about five teeth trying to put a form and grill in my mouth. And she's like, yes, that's that was horrifying to watch. Jha. Leah is so rude. If you don't want to be here, then go. If you don't want to go, then stay. If you don't want to stay, then leave. And Leah's like, hey everybody.

She's like, oh, hello, Leah. Hello. Yeah. And she's like, you know, you know, I did do project run away with Leah. And she was a cool girl. And then you want to hang out with her and stuff. But now she's a different person and I need to know what's going on because I like Lea is Shaw yeah, and I like the whole I did project run waitly with Lea I like to think they keep saying that like that was a huge accomplishment

10 minutes as artists, you know, yeah, so then Everybody arrives Candace has this gigantic straw hat that's like an oversized tortilla shell. Yeah, it's huge. It does. It looks like if you had like a little tiny mini potato on a plate and then put a corn tortilla over it. So it's just kind of like.

It looks like one of those taco salads, like those giant, you know, like tortilla bowls that you put the salad into enormous. So then what? So Jacelle is talking, oh no, we've already done that. Okay, let me go down here. So it's fan time. So, um, Porsche is like, so Mar Sol, you're just basically observing, right? So what have you observed? And Mary Sol is like, well, Leah has some on-be-hame yours. My look into her eyes, I just don't know. I mean, it seems like what's coming out of her mouth isn't coming out of her head. Because what's coming out of her head's not coming out of her mouth. And when her mouth moves, her ears twitch. I don't even know what the girl's doing. Well, all I know is there's twins named lia and i'm supposed to know what the fuck

their talk all i know was that that mouth moves in one way and whatever's coming you know i came out of her heart in actual valentine and then when i tried to get it out i got i got electrocuted uh for you playing operation again? I was. I was playing operation. So then Leah and her van is like, well guys, like, I mean, like some people think I'm emotionally stunted, but my parents kicked me out when I was young. So I think like now I'm living out those years, because I didn't really get to be young. That's

called being emotionally stunted, by the way. You're emotionally stunted. If you didn't get to, like, if you were stuck at a certain age, that's emotionally stunted. Yeah. So, Portia's, her theory is that Leah wants tension, but then as soon as she gets it, she gets nervous about it and it's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And like she feels like Leah is trying to turn the table and that's like what she's trying to do. She's trying to shift the energy. And then when she gets that energy, she then basically plays the victim.

Right. So then we go to Porsche. Oh, yeah, they're talking about that. So Alexi is like, so what do you think of Pepsi? And Pepsi is like, no, she, so what do you think of Pepsi and Pepsi's like, no, she says, what do you think of this Pepsi and Pepsi's like, my ears are blocked, I can't hear any kind of tea spillin. I don't mean this tea piping, but I'm not putting that makeup for any of this tea. I'm just in the back seat, not hearing anything. I'm just good little Pepsi.

Yeah, to bring a bring your tear boat. Ha ha ha. Um, so let's see, what happens after that? Heather's ready to turn up. She's ready to get on that yacht and turn up with all the cool alphas. And Leah's ready to turn the fuck up also. So they're getting there.

There's like welcome mojitos. And Lex says, oh, hello, hello everyone. Can I talk? This is my day. This is my day. Okay, this is Star Day. Star Day,? Can I talk? This is my day, this is my day. Okay, this is Star Day. Star Day, you may have noticed, there's like extra spotlights on this yacht.

That's because I'm here because I'm a star. Hello, Star speaking, Star trying to speak, everyone, hello. And they're trying to look at her, but he can't see behind Candace's hat. So it's okay, so I know. So they tour the boat. Yeah, like, yeah, Lexi is like, do you mind taking your hat down?

Cause I can't see the girls. Hello, do you mind taking your hat down? Because I can't see the girls. Do you mind taking your hat down? No, no, no, no. So they have mojitos and all this stuff. And so the Mary Stolls was like, well, I actually brought the same hat that Candace did. But when I saw her and I was like, I'm going to look like an ass in that hat.

I just left it in my suitcase. Isn't it an expandable hat? I guess so, because Porsche earlier says, how did she pack that? Also, there's a minor controversy that doesn't really result in anything of Jazell. Jazell brought the, what's the tequila? I always call it Casas, but it's not called Casas.

I guess it's just called Casula. We all know which one. That's all one of the other. I was so corrected the other day. Actually, it was corrected by you, sir. Well, my cousin corrected me. It's called, you know what it is, because my cousin pulled aside a Caso for last year

and said, stop saying Caso a Zool. It's called this. I thought it was. I call it Caso a Zool. I think it's called like Caso, Caso a Zool. Is it common for you a Zool? Tequila, now we're, now we, Caso a Zool. I think it's called like casserole. Is it coffee? Ticula. Now we're, now we, casserole.

Are you looking at it? I have to because otherwise people are going to get mad at us. Oh, it's called class a zool. Class a zool. That's what it was. Oh, class a zool. OK. Yeah, it's juxtap, I'm not paying that much for Ticula.

That's expensive. That's crazy. It's insanely expensive. That's ridiculous. Stupid, stupid class of the zoo. Either way, Juzel was like, I brought this, I brought this, I like said, no, I brought it, I brought it. It's actually mine to go to sleep. No, but I brought it. He get into like a little spat about who brought the class of the zoo. Yeah, and so, um, Porsche is like, oh my god. Can't just get her cat at her hat out of my way. She literally looks like a thumb with a tantamount. It's everywhere.

I'm like, oh, and so perhaps he's just like, ladies, I've got to go back to the villa now. Enjoy making Yeti and Alexi is like, does anybody want to go back with him? What do what do people want? Do they want to go back? And she looks at Leah and Alexi is like does anybody want to go back with him? What do what do people want? Do they want to go back and she looks at Leah and then for she goes, Leah, do you want to go back? I'm like, no, why would I want to go back? Why is everyone asking me that?

Okay, just like lay it on me guys. I mean, if you're going to come for me. Okay, people are annoyed with me saying I'm bored. So I'm not the most popular person. So they're going to come at me. It's just toxic and low vibrations. You know, I think the way the proper way to ask if she wanted to return to the villa was to say,

do you want to drive back and drive back? So Heather, meanwhile, was just like thrilled. She was like, this job, it's amazing. Although I wonder what the timeline was with her being on Blow Deck adventure and this. I wonder was Blow timeline was with her being on below deck, below deck adventure and this, I wonder was below deck adventure after this? Because this yacht doesn't even compare to the below deck adventure yacht.

Like that's a super yacht, you know? And she's like blown away by this one. I don't, she's blown away by everything. It's had a long way. I know, I'm like, that that yacht experience was somewhere in the middle of a co-capit for Heather, because that was crazy. Below deck was crazy. She was crazy on that. She was like, obviously, something was up with her drug wise or something was going on with her. So we know that that happened,

but I don't know the timeline. I don't know if this is before she cleaned up her after. I'm still horrified by that one. So, a Porsche is like, this is first class here in Thailand and then they talk about the bottle of tequila again and Lea's like, oh, it's raining and Whitney said sharks come out after the rain. And how does it look? I'm already swimming with the sharks on the yacht. Why would I want to get in the water?

No one's even paying attention to Heather anymore. She just keeps saying these things are like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Heather keeps making housewives quotes. She's like, what? And like Leah did earlier when she's like, why would I want to get into danger when I'm already in danger around these women?

Yeah. And when Leah says that, like she heard that sharks come out after the rain, Alex goes, oh, well, you know what, my son told me there's no sharks in Thailand. So I'm like, all right, I'm going to assume Frankie did not say that, which means Peter said that what is going to hear? Listen to Peter about sharks in Thailand. Yeah. There's no sharks in Thailand, really, Peter.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. He's like, that's why I'm moving to Puerto Rico. That's where all the sharks live. I just did a search of are there sharks in Thailand? And right away, it's like a million sharks. I just want to say, eight shark varieties that diver, like that diver's in the diver, oh my god, I'm losing my mind.

Divers encounter in Thailand. It's like a Million nurse sharks the hammerhead sharks. Hello. There's one called a tawny nurse shark So it's Tawny That's the nurse shark that comes over for potlucks So Leah's like they're talking about the sharks and then Leah, fake glass and then fake tears. She's like, oh, look at me. I'm having so much fun now. Is everybody happy?

Kind of attitude. And Jizaga's, but Leah, are you good? Because last night was strange. She's, yeah, well, I'm glad you just brought that up because I want to ask Portia something. So, when I, when you asked if I want to be here and yesterday, Jizaga, you asked me if I wanted to be here. And I think you, like you said it because at lunch, I had said that I had feelings of maybe not wanting to come. And then we see the clip of her being like, last season was so hard.

And like, so yeah, I thought it was kind of shady that you brought up something that I was being vulnerable about and then you tried to use it against me. It's like, what is Leo talking about? Like no, they're all kind of puzzled. Like no, no one was even really listening when you talked about that.

Portia's like, yeah, but you know, like, you wanna know why, like she said, you wanna go home? Like why, like why we made a joke right now? Like you've been acting like you wanna go home. That's why. No she goes, cause you literally said she wanted to go home. Cause she's like, I didn't wanna be here. you want to go home. That's why she goes because you literally said she wanted to go home because she's like, I didn't want to be here.

I wanted to go home. And then we get ding, ding, and up on the screen it says round one, Leah versus Porsche and just so. So Porsche is like, wow, you are wild as hell. Like you're confronting someone about asking if you want to go home after you said, you wanted to go home and you go, what? And just like, yeah, last night you said you were porch. Cause yeah, well, I was bored last night.

So what? So you say the whole table, why don't you get drunk or something? I'm bored. Like, like we're not entertaining unless we're drunk. And Lee is like, well, that's what I'm like used to people saying to me because like before the ship started, like Marisol texted me. So now we get Leah versus Marisol because we get this text message that Marisol sent that said, I'm saying that I support your sobriety obviously and I could never do what you

do because I don't have your willpower and I marvel what you've done. But on that note, I wish you were still drinking. That's all. But this is so classic that Leah is trying to turn this into something that happened that now, I wish you were still drinking. That's all. But this is so classic that Leah is trying to turn this into something that happened with Mary soul, a zillion, like no one cares. You know what I mean? She's like, Oh, I called you born. Well, here's what Mary soul told me in a text, my stride lady. So then we see Leah's text back to her. And it says, Oh, thank you. I'm so happy. I'm not drinking though. LOL. And Mary soul text back. Well, as long as you feel good and you're happy, I mean,

that's the ultimate life goal, my friend. And it feels like, it's like, well, so I felt like a type of way, but I didn't want to bring that into the trip. And then Alexia, this is such alexia. Oh, well, but you know, like, yeah, you have to live in the real world. People are going to tell you that. Quite a lot of stuff. People are going to say, Oh, so you're, like, Leah, you have to live in the real world. People are going to tell you that kind of stuff. People are going to say, oh, so you're in recovery? Well, I wish you were drinking. Like, you don't have to expect that.

Just expect it, Leah. You're strong. OK, don't be weak. Look at us like, what? Yeah, you know, like, oh, you should have had a drink. You should have a drink. Like, people are going to say that to you. OK, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Leah. Or other way, I will say, you know, around my group of friends, not you, Ben, but, Leah. Or other way, I will say, you know, around my group of friends, not you, Ben, but like my LA friends and stuff, I've been drinking less for a few years now, where I've just like cut back, you know, because you remember how I used to be. I was like, I would drink a lot.

I would drink a lot, you know. You throw down. I could throw down, yeah. And my tolerance was very high. I mean, I could go all night long. And then I just like started to shake. You know, I'm older, I'm getting older, just started to chill. And sometimes I'm like,

hey, I don't need to be, I need to prove to myself that I don't need to drink to have a good time, right? So I was like, I would have a night where I just wouldn't drink. It was no big deal for me. My friends, oh my God, are you sick? No, I'm not sick. Ronnie, do you have a problem? No, I don't have a

problem because if you do, it's okay. No, I'm fine. You should have a drink then. You should have a drink. Like, weren't you having a drink? People freak the fuck out when you don't drink. And so I could only imagine what it's like to be purely sober where people are like, why? Why aren't you drinking? Well, why don't you just drink a little bit? Why don't you just have wine? Like what's the problem? How are you gonna have fun if you don't drink? I mean, but I feel like if someone's in recovery, if someone's sober, I think actually a lot of people

generally are respectful of that. It's more like, oh, normally you drink, but today you decided not to drink. Well, I'm your drinking, you know, but then if someone's sober, it's like, I would never go up to one of my sober friends and be like, oh, I wish you were drinking with me tonight. That would be so fun.

Like I just would never do that. Like you'd be shocked at how many people do, you know, because I have a lot of friends in recovery too. People just say the dumbest shit constantly. Like they can't help it. It's like they feel like if you're not drinking or if you're sober, you're saying that they're drunk in a way, you know what I mean?

It's like if you're trying to lose weight, other people are like, oh really? Are you fat shaming me? It's like, no, it's, my life has nothing to do with you. You know what I mean? Yeah. Well, when Alisa says it's a Leah, Leah's like, no one tells me that. No one says that they wish they were like I was still drinking, you know? And like, she's like, no, but like as a joke, as like a joke, like a, like, you know,

like, have you, like, Peter's like really good joke. Oh, but he's no Peter. He's like, no, but like as a joke. As like a joke, like, like, like, you know, like, have you, like, Peter's like really good joke. Nobody know Peter. He's like, why did chicken cross the road? And I say, why? And he goes, I don't care, mom, like, I want to move Puerto Rico to get away from you. I'm like, ah, that's funny. You know, like joke, like a joke. She's like, oh, my God, I can't. I thought we were going to like have fun on the boat, everybody. And Portia's like, no, bitch, because you just told everyone to fuck off. And now you're like, let's have fun. Like,

you literally asked me a question And then you ask your cell a question and then we respond it and leaves like oh my god great you answered can she answer now What is the she answer now and Porsche's like and then you accuse Marcel and they're like Mary soul Yeah, and lia's like, Marisol, you're telling me that you wish I was drinking is not nice when I don't drink anymore. And Marisol's like, I said I applaud you and your sobriety. And I wish I could do it. It would be fun if we could drink together. That's all I was saying. It's probably only way someone could have fun with you. That's all. And lia's like, but what does everybody want me to drink? I mean, you're the one that told me

if you don't have a drink in the morning, your stomach hurts. Like, I don't want a drink. And she was, I never said that. Now you're just making stuff on. I mean, my stomach was hurting in the morning until I had a drink. But it stopped hurting for something like me. Well, Marisol's hands are like, I haven't been able to drink in 12 hours because of this ulcer. I know. She's like, I mean, well, Marisol's hands are like, I haven't been able to drink in 12 hours because of this ulcer. I know. She's like, I haven't drank from the van on the way to this boat. I'm not looking at me.

You know? Like, her arms just is spilling. So Marisol's like, you know, morning, noon and night is, you know, like, like, what's the schedule? Like, there's a schedule now. I'll tell you my schedule, morning, noon and night. That's the schedule. As, there's a schedule now. I'll take my schedule. Morning, noon and night. That's a schedule. As I parched, I drink.

Because it goes. This is like when the split screen die rebooms. And the it goes, I mean, Mary, so can we wait till noon to drink vodka? I mean, have some eggs. Available this year. So I think I'm better when I drink. I think better when I drink. That's no lie. It's not a problem whatsoever. It's time for commercial. It's time.

Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writers room. Each episode members of the official Max Companion Podcast, and just like that, the writers room. Each episode members of the writers room and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us. Stream and just like that season 2, starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the writers room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm for a crap and it's commercial. So Lee is like, well now that everyone hates me,

I guess we'll just sit here and then porch is like, Oh, now you're the victim. Wow, you're the victim again, really? And now it's round three. Lee versus Porcia. And Porcia's like, Oh, that's so clever, Lee. And Cat is goes, this is bullying. She's like, what? She goes, you don't have to explain shit to these bitches. Lee, uh, you made a comment. You apologize. She's like, what? She goes, you don't have to explain to the bitches. You made a comment. You apologize. It's over. Leo's like, I'm going to go take a walk together, my thoughts.

And Ken, it's like, don't let them bother you. Because no, I have to pee. Guys, I have to pee. So then Heather's like, I have dreamed of moments like this where I am in it with all these women like this is an all-star game And I am watching the greats go at it and I am sitting there happy that no shots have been fired at me by my new friends She's like just wearing the catchers mid trying to catch a feel the feel ball or whatever a fly shot This is amazing all my favorite teammates are playing. I'm so glad to be here.

Heather, why are you wearing a foam finger? I'm just so excited. Heather, you're one of them. You're one of them. So Mary Goe gets a cocky, and she gets a bossy with the ice. I don't know what that is. Well, that sounds like.

What are you doing in here? I mean, I need to do better with ice. This is how we do it in Miami. Well, I don't know how you do it in Miami. All right, well, this is Miami today. Give me some rice. Well, you know what? Leah was very unengaged last night.

Like when you're like that and you're in a bad place, like you either don't go or like you leave, okay? But don't start off ending people, you know? And Candace is like, that argument is bullshit, okay? Cause she already apologized for it. And you all are harping on it. And Leah's like, hey, you know what, okay? Because she already apologized for it and you all are harping on it. And Lea's like, hey, you know what guys? You know what? Like, you guys just gave me my period. So thank you. Does anyone have a tampon?

I'm married. Lea, okay, Lea, you spent since episode one talking about how your PDD and PMSing and your your period is going to start any second and you don't carry around a tampon. Like you fucking kidding me. Not only are you obnoxious, you're just unprepared. I have a tampon for you in my man's place because you've been talking about it. Yeah, Candace is like, y'all bullied her in demonstration.

So then what does one do in those situations? Leah goes to the hot tub. So Leah's in the hot tub just doing selfies away from everyone else and everyone else just sort of squabbling. It's like back and forth. It's like everyone all at once and everything. And Candace is finally like, can I say this?

Can I say this? I have not been comfortable this entire time. I've been here. Oh, sure. And then she's crying. The crying goes out. My husband has a job. This is very hard for me. Everyone's like, why? I have felt anxiety every day. Okay, I've talked to my mom every morning, crying to her. Admittedly, it's been three mornings, but still every morning I am far from home in a luxury villa in the best accommodations possible

Everything's made for this is Terrible. What is this drama? Are you at camp for the first time? Is going on with Candace by the way. I'm loving Candace on this show But this is so ridiculous. She's going to histr on it because she's on an all expense paid trip to Thailand. Hull areas. Meanwhile, Mary Sol is like, periods are so old school. Who does that? How past say?

I haven't had a period since 1981. That's fucking ridiculous. I know, that's right. So then Candace is still going on. She goes, yesterday was the first day that I did not feel like I wanted to go home. I'm like, that's right. So then Candice is still going on. She goes, yesterday was the first day that I did not feel like I wanted to go home. I'm like, that was day two. There was day one.

So the first day you were like, oh, I'm jet lagged. I want to go home. Day two, you're like, oh, I like it here. Like, what is, you're not, this has not been a month's long incarceration for you. So she's like, I've tried to keep it for myself and keep a smile on my face, really because you've been bitching about it since day two. And I don't think it's fair that someone like Leah, who is able to express that, is I won't say bleed, but I will say villainized

for being able to express it. She is being villainized because she's been incredibly rude, dare. It's been a dick, okay? This is not about you being sad that Chris has a job. and a bleabrood day. It's been a dick, okay? This is not about you being sad that Chris has a job. This is also like, this is not Leah being a dick and saying she's bored at dinner is not an empowering moment for her. That is not her being able to articulate her anxiety.

That's her being a dick. If anything, Candice having anxiety, but being able to sort of like manage it and still be social and put on like a smile is actually pretty admirable. And she's acting like I like I admire Leah because she's able to not manage her anxiety well and to unleash it on everyone else. I wish I could do that.

It's like no, you don't aspire for that. And then it cuts to Leah just in the hot tub taking selfies. And then force is like, wait a minute. You have anxiety being around people you don't know, but then your event was the shadiest event, making fun of the people that you don't know. So how does that make sense? And Mary still's like,

ha ha ha ha ha. God, I haven't laughed since 1982 when I realized the periods were over. I'm thinking sure, make a smile again. By the way, I also want to mention, Marisol has a literal ulcer. Okay, she has an ulcer. She's fine. She's the one who's the most anxiety right now. So now it's round four.

Portia versus Candace. Candace is like, I was having a fun time making people comfortable. And Portia is like, that's how you make people feel comfortable by making people, making other people feel uncomfortable. And Candace is like, oh God, you were uncomfortable. She was, yes, I was uncomfortable. Well, sorry, I made you uncomfortable. And I says like, no, no, no, because it wasn't actually,

it was like, so then she's, I'm sorry, Candace starts saying, were you uncomfortable? Were you uncomfortable? Were you uncomfortable? And it likes to say like, no, I wasn't uncomfortable because mine starts saying, were you uncomfortable? Were you uncomfortable? Were you uncomfortable? And it's like, no, I wasn't uncomfortable because my mind's actually very nice. Although there wasn't error. You said I was Havana White,

but I think you meant Havana White. So, Jazeal was like, well, I was uncomfortable. Ah, and Portia's like, well. If it felt like that, then I would be so nice, or be like, if I felt like that, I would be so nice to everyone I encountered. Like if I had anxiety around people, I'd be like, if I felt like that, I would be so nice to everyone I encounter. Like if I had anxiety around people, I'd be like, so sweet to them.

And Candace is like, that's you, Portia. Not me, don't project your feelings about how you deal with anxiety onto me, because I deal with it by being terrible to people. And Portia goes, that's weird, that's weird. I was like, which one? Oh my God. That's all you got to talking like teenagers on Tumblr.

Like, what the fuck, dude? And so Portia goes, Buzzword, Buzzword. And Candice goes, what's that? Just up, Buzzword. What you just use, project. It doesn't apply here. No one's projecting. And she's like, you can't tell me what applies to how I feel about where I am. Oh my God. It's a how I feel like. Exactly. So Portia's like, she walks away. She's like, I tried to come for you and you insulted me. So she's just saying that like, her intention was because you know, Candace shed a tear and she wanted to go console her and then said like Portia, like Candace when came for instead.

All right. So then Candace is like, well, I have anxiety bopping on the other side of the world. And part of this me too. And just like all of us have anxiety. And Candace is like, I'm not expecting special treatment. I'm just saying that Leah should not be penalized for expressing her opinion. And Portia's like, you know what? How swires do not have a good history on yachts?

Period. Okay. I know we see like the portions in the A-fighting on a boat where Cynthia kicks portion, the stomach, and then we see of course, Rony on their boat in Colombia. Yeah, Colombia. And Ramona saying, oh fuck you, Ken, yet? Like on the first girl's trip.

Oh god, I love both Tony shows. So Heather's like, I don't want to be super a sobriety coach because I just don't know how to tow that line, you know, I have friends who are alcoholics and you know, I would funnel drinks, I'll funnel drinks to those friends, you know, they're really working for sobriety and I'm like, here's a martini. No, what I mean. And they're just looking at her like, what? What is it? Like, how is it possible for one person to say this many stupid

things somehow? I know. I know. Why would you do that? For calling somebody bored. I mean, how are you not screaming at Heather yet? And they're like, why would you do that? She goes, what could they ask me to?

And cancer's like, but addiction is a disease if someone has cancer. If my friend has cancer, and she said, call Dr. Kvorkkin, I want to add this, I'd be like, what's his number? I'm right there. Other. We know you're right or die.

And if you're friend asked for something, you're gonna be there, but like, maybe be like right or injured, not ride or die. So bad. So it's like, oh my God, me and Heather Moot passed our little issue from the first day, but like if I ever go through a rough time, I'm not calling her. And she goes and tells us, listen, I'm not here to help anyone

achieve stability in their life. I'm struggling to put on my own oxygen mask, okay? So I can even get dressed in the morning. Have you seen what I'm wearing? Candace like so you are you the type of friend who just like Supports supports your friends like even to their own detriment because yes, I mean have you seen my friends ones in jail? For one less year now by the way also we should. And Candace doesn't even know what to say. She's just like, to say that, I guess. And Leah's like, um, are you in therapy?

Oh, sorry. There's so much wackiness happening. Like this is so good. This is the episode where it comes. This is the episode, I feel like the first episode was a brain sort of like saying hi. It was polite. Second episode's like, OK, this is the episode.

It's like, OK, the neurosis has been unleashed. The season begins now. It's so, so good. So then every but now we play a game, because what else would we do on this show? So Alexia's like, the chef has made Cuban sandwiches, which is typical for us, because we're Cubans. And you know what?

Cubans like to eat meat, but they like it between two pieces of bread. That's crazy. So I hope you're okay with it. Like something that Cubans do is that they eat food for nourishment. So like, I don't know if that's something that other cultures do, but like that's something that we do. Cubans like to eat. And Candice is like black people like to eat too.

I'm like, guess what? People like to eat. Animals like to eat. Everything living literally eats, okay? Actually, the one thing that the one things that don't like to eat are really like the real housewives, to be honest. So, yeah, especially Marisol. So, basically this is like, this is a basically game. It's not another like two truths in a lie.

This is basically everyone has to hold up a sign that has Cuban slang on it. And, you know, it's actually kind of cute. You know, they're all sort of saying these things and like she's saying, oh, oh, well, you know, Peter, that means like you're a big mess or like, oh, you're like a good bullshitter. Mm-hmm. So, they teach them like, I don't know what's going on,

they teach them all these little phrases, which I'm gonna kind of pass, are you? Yeah, because my Spanish accent, like, I'll be like, so they learned the phrase, K-Bola a C-R-A. So, I don't want to butcher it too badly. It was a cute scene.

It was cute. So then, Chazelle, of course, is like, okay, no one's fighting after this game, bad game, bad game. So I want to skip gears for a second. So you said last night, maybe in a drunken stupor that you two had pinky promise that you weren't going to talk about each other on cameras.

That right, Whitney? And Whitney's like, no, we said we were going to move forward. And then we see them pinky promise the day before. And Whitney's like, we're equally responsible for what has gone on in our relationship. And Heather goes, oh, I don't remember saying that. I do remember saying that we're going to try and move forward, though. And Leah's like, Whitney, you were talking a little shit about Heather, though, just so you know,

can I explain? Can I explain? Can I explain it? Um, no, because you said like she still has her name on that Mormon thing, that like Mormon log thing or whatever the rolls. Oh, no, she doesn't, I looked, she doesn't have it. Did you scroll, Alexia? Hold on. Hold on. Oh, there's her name.

There's her name. There's it there. There's it there. So, she's, at least it's like, yeah, like if's sold, you said if she still has her name on the rolls and why does she have a book coming out? And her that goes, what the fuck with me? Heather, by the way, I don't know if this was your interpretation of that. That was me, to me, that was Heather being like, and now this is, I've seen the greats

doing it. I've been watching them all day. And now this is my've seen the greats doing it. I've been watching them all day. And now this is my moment. What the fuck? Yeah, so it was like, I'm in. They just tapped me in. Here I go. Wish me luck.

God bless you. What the fuck, wait. What the fuck are you saying? What the fuck? So funny. So then we see ding, ding, ding, round 11 whatever had their verses with me. So Lee is like, yeah I'm like you really didn't trust her is what you said and when he goes well, I did say that and then we see a clip of with me saying Yeah, I really did leave the Mormon church

But she'd like a beg to me not to and they goes but like why is she still Mormon that like if she doesn't like that Just because she's writing a book called Bad Mormon and helping people like leave, I don't get it. I don't think that's what the book was, I don't think the book was about how to leave the church. I think it was like, I'm a bad Mormon and this is what I had to deal with, right? So how there's like, what, okay, why did you even say that?

How long have you not identified as a minor? I'm gonna say as a Mormon when he's like 15 years. Okay, and when did you get your name off the rolls? Six months ago? Because the priesthood would not release me, but that's also because the priesthood were in a villa and I got lost walking to the villa. So took a long time to be released. Well, exactly. So how are you condemning me for something you've experienced? This bullshit with me.

And when he's like, but I had to sit down with the local authorities of the church to ask to be released, but then they denied me. And Lee is like, oh my God, I thought the Catholics were crazy. Jesus Christ. And the Candace is like, I mean, they still are, but wow. Yeah.

So I had this like, I mean, you're 15 years ahead of me and you're going to flip that on me. I mean, like, you know, I've been reluctant because, you know, like, it seems like an aggressive roster. Well, I don't know what that sentence means anymore now today, but I'm angry. I'm angry at Whitney still. What did she mean by that?

I'm like, I've been reluctant because it seems like an aggressive roster. Um, I don't, but you're endorsing it. Well, no, I don't, I didn't have that. I just have that. I mean, it's the same. Yeah, I don't know. It's like so much fighting that, you know, you only get every other line. But I heard her saying Whitney was like

well now they have an organization of attorneys that do it for you taking your name off the role. But that means to other Mormons that you don't exist. And Heather is saying she's not taking her name off the roles because it seems like a flippant aggressive action. If she's already left the church like why does she have to like make it more hurtful by filing paperwork. And Whitney says having your name on the rules literally you're supporting them because they count you when they lobby for bills or by properties or build temples. And Heather's like, I mean, the way I live my life, the way I raise my children, those are the tendons of my faith, not my name on a database, but a title on a bestselling New York author book,

sale, bestseller, bestseller, bad Mormon. You're saying that you reject all these things about the Mormon church, but you're still endorsing them. That seems hip-hopotomist to me. Okay. I'm just like, what are you talking about? The Mormon church has filed a trademark junction against me. Okay, they know who I am. Okay, they understand who I am right now. And like I'm being alienated and ostracized from my community right now. Okay. Okay. Fine. I fucked up. I said something fucked up about you. I did that. Well apologize to me. Stop trying trying to prove me wrong Whitney. She just, I didn't. Everyone's during the part. Porsche is being shady. A Porsche is like, um, that was a damaging thing that she said. And then she said to me that I was being shady, that's a flippin' response.

Yeah, she's been crying. So there's like, I cannot believe you're being shady. Just impress Porsche and just out. I mean my god with me She has here being hypocritical. She goes oh fuck that with me and Candice is like waving her sign around like okay But I feel this way. This is how I feel. I really feel this way I feel this way I'm I love how Heather has flipped it on Whitney being like you're just trying to you're just being shady to impress Jacelle and Porsche when literally all Heather's been talking about is like oh my god Jacelle and Porsche are here So funny so then Candace is like please can we have lunch?

So some of them moved down for lunch and have some of them stay with like Porsche stays with Heather and Heather's like I've given up everything, everything to tell my truth. And you call it a lie, how dare you. And Porsche's like, there, there. And Heather tells us that they've just finished filming season three of Salt Lake. And it was a rough season. They haven't even had their reunion yet.

They haven't talked about it. And there's still issues. So to hear what these spewing these lies is, HURTBUN! It's horrible! It is just horrible! Her story changes depends on who she's talking to. It's hard to support your friend when you don't know which version of the story you're supporting.

So, hey, I'm trying to process where Heather and I got to this point. And just I was like, how do you not know why y'all are in this together all the time? I do not know. And just when he's like, because for me, it was out of pain. And just how does from what though? I was literally, it was like the hardest times of my life, because I had to in real time process that my entire life was a lie. And then we see clips of her saying that her childhood was blocked from ages nine to 17 and just like. Yeah, just like, did you learn to drive? So yeah, when he tries to do this whole thing of like, I'm on a healing journey and I'm remembering things now that my brother told me and now I'm like scared and just

I was like, okay, but what does this have to do with Heather? And she's like, I need it in that moment to lie to lie. I did not need that. I just need you to confirm the fact that there was just for just this is a problem with her. Like this doesn't make sense. You're saying that you were going through the hardest time in your life because you're remembering that there could have been childhood abuse. And the way that Heather could have supported you was lying that she heard that Lisa was guzzling jazz for jazz. I know. It's like she was she was a was, I think that she's trying to say that she's like off at sea alone in this, in this emotions and she's feeling so alone and so confused and she just wants to

know that she has someone who supports her. And if you don't support in any way, then it just shows that you're not there to support her at all in life. I think that's the logic here. We've just barely made it through Salt Lake City listening to this tribe for how long, how many weeks. I can't. I hope this is, they just get this out of their system

because I can't go through it. Well, this isn't like it's hurtful to have to relive this. But this is actually what was great about this episode was because when when you brought it up on the show, you can see all the women were trying to be respectful of her. They sort of know she's trying to, it's, there's some sort of bullshit about this can see all the women were trying to be respectful of her you know they sort of know she's trying to It's there's some sort of bullshit about this whole thing But they're trying to be respectful because she keeps on doing the whole thing about like childhood

Like abuse and you don't want to joke about that and then at the reunion and he also has to be careful about it But on this show they're like yeah, but like They're not gonna let her get away with it anymore. Right. And she's like, yeah, you weren't there. And then Heather's like, I never supported Jen. I mean, I've showed up for her, but I've never supported the horrible, horrible things that she did.

And Portia says, oh, you never lied for her. She goes, no, I've never lied for her. And Whitney goes, ha ha ha ha. And she goes, Whitney doesn't believe you. And Whitney's like, by your black eye. with, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha We are. Wait a minute. What is a black guy have to do in anything? And others are saying that Jen gave me a black guy and I won't squeal on Jen. And they're like, what? That's because. Because it happened.

I'm not going to talk about the black guy. Okay. I said, I don't know how I got it. Snitches get stitches and I don't recall. Again, like she learns. What does she learn? She learned nothing from her season. She's still saying snitches get stitches.

Because she's not like someone had her. Does she know what snitches get stitches even means? I'm sorry to wonder if she does not realize what that phrase is. Does she think that like snitches get stitches means like, like, bad Mormons get stitches? And that's why she has a black eye. Does she know what's what it means? She knows exactly what it means.

And she's doing it on purpose, because she is kind of blaming Jen without blaming her and Jen is like the villain. You know? How does she, she's odd. I can't ever tell where she's coming from. It's like you're blaming Jen, but you still want to be Jen's friend.

Also, you heard this, I'm sure, but Jen's sentence just got cut down a year. Yeah, just much more. Jen will be out in five years, a little over five years, which means she will be back on this show. And if anybody is thinking that she won't, or that this show is,

she'll be back. She'll be back. And I mean, it's not gonna be five years. It'll probably go down to like two or three. Let's be honest, okay. Judicial system, that's a comment, that's a statement. They're gonna be like, you know out of we ran out of hot Cheetos

So we have the lot people at his shell. That's it like what are they supposed to fly for fruits and vegetables? Come on You know what welcome to your parole board. Okay. I heard you being very gay class a okay, so you know what we're gonna Look you at a jail. Congratulations So Marisol's like someone happened like you fall down fell down some stairs, was it Botox? What was it? And Whitney's like, well, when she took her glasses off, I gasped for air.

And what? And Jacelle tells us, oh, it must be the criminal who punched her, because only criminals punch people, right? You know, which I liked, because it's like, you know, this is too easy. I'd like the instinct if this is bullshit with me. Like you can't just be the person who's already in trouble for everything, you know?

Yeah, so Heather's like, well, you know, I have theories. You know, I was in a separate villa and there was this overhanging cabinet and four or five times I hit my head when I brushed my teeth and maybe hit my eye and she's like, a cabinet doesn't fly out and punch you in the face. So, one of the best theories I read on Soesh was that she was doing a line off the sink

and she hit her head into the cabinet. Now that one I can believe, been there. But still wouldn't get the, but it's still wouldn't, like, that's hard to get the cabinet edge into your eyeball. But I guess if she went up like, I'm not really, if you smack it like that, oh God, I just hit myself in my eye like fucking idiot

But yeah, like not if you're going down really hard in your drunk and you hit the cabinet in front of you I'm not gonna see that happening So theory to Heather's like you know, I was rough housing me back on elbow in the eye I didn't feel it and what needs like everyone was wasted I went to bed right away and I locked the door and I heard Jen and Heather and Meredith Running around the house, but I never heard a scuffle Like the whole dishovel I'm sorry to repeat but just how she tells the story the other women are looking at these two like they're completely bonkers with you guys.

We had Marilyn Monroe night and everyone was intoxicated and I heard Jen and Heather and Meredith running through the house the next morning we went go-kart writing it's not a shiner the whatever I was black even the white they're just like you have scratches and the Porsche cuss so what so what Whitney why would you drop this bomb here like this girl got beat by Jen and leave out the whole part where they were running around having a good time drunk. Yeah, she's basically like you like that's like that's an important part right. So what needs like this is the first time that she's told her theory I only just find only catching

up and I'm still catching up with all the things I forgot from my childhood. So Portia's like well I don't know how a Salt Lake girl's playing by the pearly. You can't hurt. And she says, I don't know who hit her, but Whitney wants us to understand that Jen did it, got it. And I'm just loving the other takes from everybody else who aren't like inundated with this shit for a whole year. They're like bullshit.

They're just calling bullshit on everything. And so how there's like, I don't have a recollection. I'm going to have a theory. And Jizal goes, okay, so I'm done with this Barbie sleuth. No, no, she goes, I'm a Barbie sleuth. And I figured this out. Jen Shaw punched Heather in the face, but if Heather tells anybody, they're going to give her more years in the clink and Heather doesn't want that on her spirit. So she's just saying she doesn't know. And Whitney's like, well thanks a lot for telling me your theory, because that's the first time I've ever heard the cabinet story had there. And Heather's like, I don't owe you anything for you to be loyal to me. I don't have I shouldn't have to tell you a theory for you just to have my back. So now the women

are, that they go to lunch, and Heather is saying, talk to Leah, and she's like, I doubled over kindness and forgiveness. I can't believe that. I can't believe that. And Leah's like, yeah, it made me feel like, damn, I don't think I can trust Whitney. It's like she's doing that to you, right?

By the way, your whole story about the black guy, super boring. And then, Kat's back to Whitney. She's like, your whole story about the black guy, super boring. And then cuts back to Whitney. She's like, I'm literally just trying to understand what's going on. Like, why am I getting cold out? Well, you should, and then Heather's back. She's like, well, you should get called out

because you're full of shit, Whitney. Full of that, Jaselle. Did you like that? She's like, what I just did there, Jaselle? I thought, I thought, I thought, she's three now. I got one, that's what she just ran. She just sell high five I five she three now the gauntlet So she just ran she's three now got it everybody oh Whitney if you're showing them a picture of my black eye that is fucking Like

Yeah, and Heather Heather's like she's so thirsty to please you to sell okay like she's so like She clap like a seal Whitney clap like a seal when he's like she's so thirsty to please you to sell. Okay, like she's so like she'll clap like a seal with the clap like a seal when he's like. Emeralds like Heather you're getting naughty in here and Alex. He's like, oh my god, American women are crazy, right? Her friends always don't say American women just say people from Utah. American women just say people from Utah. No, Heather is with Candison Leigh going on. Like, I think loyalty is more important than Whitney does apparently. And then back to Whitney, Whitney's like, is it just loyal?

If I show the picture, I'm trying to decide. And Portia's like, I'm not trying to pressure you. You could just describe it. Whitney's like, just bear with me. This is really deep and hard. What? What? Hold on.

You're not, you're not dropping an atomic bomb on a country. OK, you're not about to destroy Luxembourg for crying out loud. Like, I think like she's at the season finale of 24. So Marisol is like, she's like, well, if you're trying to repair things with her, if that's on the show, let it go on the show. Don't share everybody here. You're only gonna make it worse with her and you need to move forward. So then Mary soul brings out Maracas, you know, and she's like, well, wait a minute.

At least you didn't bring out the Maracas. Now, they'll just beat each other with them if we give them to them now. I'm weird because yeah, well, okay, black eyes. I'm weird because... Yeah, well all get black eyes. So Heather's like, well she's told every secret she can because she wants to get attention from the alphas. And Lexi's like, well why is like a black eye so important?

Well you know Peter, I mean like, you know, you should see his girlfriend, it's like every day over there. So Heather's like, oh she's... I went there. So Heather's like, I don't

How did I I'm like the low boat. I'm like the low blow queen. I'm like oh my god, I'm more than fine I know I feel like I feel like every single time I do like one low blow I do I get shocked every time. Like, good man. Oh, well, you know, Peter. So, like, listen, listen, he has to live in the real world. People are gonna say those things, okay?

Like, he has to live, listen to the real world. Yeah, you got to be stronger about it. You know what I'm gonna say? So, Leah's telling, how they're, let's get some foot massages. And how they're, you know what? We need to get a selfie first. This is my first breakdown.

You were here. It's getting together. Click, you know what, we need to get a selfie first. This is my first breakdown, you were here. It's getting together, click, click, click, click. So Candice is saying to Leah, like, no, it just lives a lie. She insinuated that Chris lured her into a dressing room for inappropriate behavior. And Leah's like, how can I make this about me? Oh, I know.

Oh, so like, I'm like, I said I was bored and like, that's the worst thing she ever heard. No, I know. Oh, so like I'm like I said I was bored and like that's the worst thing she ever heard. No, absolutely not. Like why would she come at me about that? Why? And I can't just like because she's a raggedy hoe. That's what she does. And of course Mary Sol needs to rely on props because it's Mary Sol day. So of course she stopped by a party city in Thailand. So now they're getting off the boat and Heather's like, when I do, oh no, what I skip.

No, because they're, I think they're still on the boat because Leah goes over to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, to, you just came at me for saying I'm bored at a dinner table. And she's telling me that you falsely accused her husband of sexual assault. And she's like, whoa, wow, I would never say that, that didn't happen. I'm not trying to make this messy. I wasn't going to say anything Candace. So now, so Leah has turned this thing. It made herself the victim of this.

And then Jizelle is now trying to pivot it to be like, I was never going to say this, but Candace, you did it. Look at you Candace being messy. They're just all passing by. I don't have that anywhere. I don't remember this happening at all. Well, guess what it did. Let me tell you about what happened. So Giselle's like, Lia, Lia, said, you said, I accused Chris's sexual assault. And Candace, we've gone over this a million times. I never used the word lurda. I never said sexual assault, and Candice, we've gone over this a million times, I never used the word lured, I never said sexual encounters, and Candice is like, well the situation is, you planted that really small seed to make my husband look like he wanted to do something

inappropriate and Leo's like, huh, I find it quite rich, that neck is out here crucifying me over saying on board when she's literally trying to ruin a man's life. That's hypocrisy. So, Jacelle just starts denying all these things. She's like, I never did this. I never said, I just said you made me uncomfortable and Candace is like, you didn't have to say it. I'm accusing you of being a lying ass bitch because that's what you were. All for a TV show. It was fucked up. You're creating a narrative that makes my husband look like Michael Darby. And likes to go, uh, who's Michael Darby?

Marisol's like, Marisol's like, oh, that's actually his husband or cheats on her and such a thing. I was like, okay, well, we've all hashed it out, and kind of like, oh, it's fine, it's cool. And likes to go, listen, we just want that fun, okay? So then now the Maracas come out. And I think this is where...

How, no, did we watch different versions of this? Because none of that was in my recap. I don't remember seeing it. And also I've been reading online that there's like, different versions like the Roku you can hit for special scenes and you'll see all sorts of stuff that other people aren't seeing. It's weird. I wonder how there's so different things.

I saw a very intense scene. I mean, I saw a whole fight that happened where Jazelle was, well, I will say this, Jazelle looked, she looked a little blindsided because I think that Jazelle was really sort of controlling all these fights. And the fact that it got turned on her, where Leah was like, um, like, like, you're mad at me because I sat on the board when you're going around saying that like, like Chris sexually assaulted you. So it was like a pretty, it was like, it was good. That's really good. And also that takes me to Leah's side for the first time in this episode.

Good for her. But it was also funny how they kept for the first time in this episode, good for her. But it was also funny how they kept on spinning it all for their own purposes. Leah was spinning it to be like, I am the victim here because you try to make me look bad when you said worse things than just, I was like, I'm the victim here because, you know, Kans and I agreed to take the higher road

and not bring it onto this show, you know? Yeah. Okay, so are they exiting the boat? Yeah, foot massages, maracas. Okay, yes. And now they're leaving. And Heather's like, well, when I heard I was going on a yacht, I pictured blue water, Leo de Caprio with the backpack on his head. I didn't think I'd have swollen eyes from sobbing so much. It's the great what drama? Got a really delivered today. So Leo's like,

well, I thought about jumping overboard several times and you're right guys, I do want to go. So, now they're in the fans and Heather's like, I don't want to go witness cars this one full. And she's like, come on, Candace, take off your coat of shame so I can climb in. So they're all getting in and Heather does wind up in a news band. So they're just like, they're driving back in Jisels saying, Leah's saying it's like a really

negative day in Jisels. Like, why do you not feel like she should not say what she thinks and like says like, well, oh, well, you know, she says she doesn't care, but like she's not a snitch, you know, and she's like, oh, she's not a snitcher. And Marisol's like, well, I guess if she did say that and like says like, well, she wrote a whole book, you know, I think it's a- Marisol says, well, I guess if she did say that and Lexi's like, what's she wrote a whole book?

I think it's a- Marisol says, well, we know she's a snitch because now she's told everybody and we know, right? That she basically said that Jen punched her without saying it. So she's like, now we know she is a snitch and Alexi goes, I mean, she wrote a book, which is like she tattled tails on the Mormon faith.

So- Right, and just like, and just like she tattled tails on the Mormon faith. So, right. And just, and just like, well, why would you protect someone who punched you in the face? And Porsche goes, well, maybe someone broke into her room while she was asleep. Maybe someone broke into her room and punched her in the face while she was asleep. Which is such a funny, I mean, it's in real life. That's not, that's not a funny thing, but it's kind of funny to think about. Just like that. So then they get home and she's like, why do I always have to look so decrepit coming up

this hill? Cause I got to go back up that hill. And Leah is talking to Candace and she's like, oh my god, today it's crazy. That was like boom, boom. And Candace says, yeah, you shouldn't take it personally when she's acting like that. Juzelle is just a better woman. And better women like her will say whatever.

And do whatever. Yeah. So Candace is saying that Leah also was saying, she didn't know like she was surprised by Portia too. What Portia was saying. And guess, like, well Portia's whole life is a clusterfuck on TV. And then it cuts to like Heather in bed

reading Porsche's autobiography. I just like so happy to be like, I can't believe I know the person who wrote this book and she's in the next room. And I think we're gonna be friends by the end of this. And she's reading, it looks like a children's book because it's like one page.

She's like, welcome to Porsche's world, turn page. Once upon a time, I was a hoe turn page. And I'm admitting it. I can't take it back turn page because I did it turn page. I was a hoe. Leo's like, do I had a reset button with people and forget it? Like, what do we do as a group collectively? And Candace is like, well, you know what? She needs to be checked.

Look, Godless of what her intentions are. And they're like, agreed. Yeah. So for me, I would check her and still expect her to be a messy ass bitch. But she needs to know that you can't be running out of the room when she, when she talks to you any kind of a, so Candace is, of course, like, I'm on your side. Take down Jacelle. Would she say take down Jacelle or take down Portia? I think Jacelle, right? Um, I either work at this because it's either Candace is against team goals.

Yeah, Candace wants Leah to go and do it. Right. So then Portia and Jacelle are taking shots at Pepsi and Pepsi is like stocks are letting him slay this. We need to get some more shots. And then Portia is like, oh my God, we need to get some more shots. And then, uh, Porsche is like, Oh my God, we need to get you more shots, perhaps late. Did you guys see him? He's pumping the air. Please, Lord, watch over me.

And that was the end of episode three, a pretty wild and great episode. Um, fun times, fun time. Really, really fun times. Thanks for being here. So God, I was cracking up watching this show. Me too. I was laughing out loud multiple times. Very, very good. Well guys, thank you for being with us. We will be back, Maniana, with some live show action, live from Seattle with pump rules, and then live from San Francisco.

Nope. Live from Seattle with Real Housewives of New Jersey. Sorry, almost got a lot of trouble with that one. And then live in San Francisco with pump rules. For tickets, go over to watchwotcraftens.com. Also tickets for our other dates. And thanks for being with us on demand, everyone on Patreon.

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