Watch What Crappens - RHUGT: Pole-ar Opposites

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

*Also avail as video on Crappens On Demand patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens* Whitney throws a Tantric themed party on this week's Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip (S03E06) and Alexia turns into a Puritan. This week's premium bonus is a recap of Tom Schwartz' appearance on WWHL. For bonus episodes and video recaps, join Patreon at patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens Tour Dates: https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/2023-cheater-brand-tour/See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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to talk about on heo brawves. I'm Ronnie. Hi everybody. Guess what I'm with. He's handsome. He's smart. He's tactile. Um, but he doesn't feel very good today.

His name is Ben Mandelker. Hello, Ben. Hi Ronnie. How are you? I, uh, so sorry Hi, Ronnie. How are you? I'm so sorry. Food betrayed you. I know. I'm taking this job too seriously because I'm actually on the Lea path right now. I have crazy food poisoning at the moment.

And the worst part of it, because like last night, the sounds, sounds coming out of this body. I didn't even know. I felt like I was possessed. But the worst part is that while I was going through this hell and continue to go through this hell, all I could think about was Leah. All I could think about was Leah in Thailand,

crying, getting an IV, and then I was sad because I was like, I want an IV, but instead I just have to lie here. Yeah, where is my pet? Where is my pet? Yeah, I think they can take care of me. Like she said multiple times, like the second I saw Pepsi looking at me, I'm take care of me like she she said multiple times like

The second I saw Pepsi looking at me. I just knew I was safe like where's that for you, you know I don't have it because doms out of town, you know normally dom would be my Pepsi But I'm just I'm just going through it right now. I'm just trying to stay for I'm like You know, I'm of course when I get sick. I'm like a big wallower So I really wallow and I usually try to like, it's built for a nature. That's how many I probably get sick. We're like, oh, I know, I'm just like, I'm in full wallow right now.

And I'm like, oh, God, help me. But I'll get through it. It's great because we are doing girls trip today. So you can wallow as much as you want You know, you'll never be worse than Leah, you know I want everybody to remember that just as a bit of self-help. No matter how sorry you're feeling for yourself today No one is more annoying about it than fucking Leah. Okay, so just keep that in mind. Well, welcome to the show everybody today, barfing or not. All of those, all of those with normal stomach privilege welcome today as well. We are back on tour this week. So Ben

will definitely be eating his saltines because the 21st, I guess we're going to be, we're going to be in Toronto. Okay. Yeah. What they say sold out, but it looks like we've got like 15 tickets left. So keep going to buy them. So kind of not to show up. Okay, we'll figure it out people. And then the next night, the 22nd will be in Philadelphia at the Fillmore. So that's going to be a super fun week for us. Then in May on the 11th, we're going to be in New York City at Town Hall. It's going to be a great show. It's a big show. It's on Broadway. Come New York. What the hell New York come? And then, Juneites later, we'll be in Washington, D.C. at Lincoln Theater. Then to finish this all out in June, we're going to do San Diego, St. Paul, Chicago,

Columbus, Boston, and Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut. So get your ticket to watch it at Crappens.com. That's also where you find our bonus episodes and our on-demand video episodes. That's where you can see our beautiful faces. Okay. Not today, not right now. Yeah, this week we'll probably do something like Top Chef or Summer House or Blodex sailing, something like that. One of those. Because that has to be one of those.

Actually. And final announcement, it's dwell hello week. That is our house hunters and house hunters international podcast here on Wendry Plus. So if you're already subscribed to Wendry Plus, you see it in your feed. If not, get subscribed. What are you waiting for? Okay.

So anything else you want to open with today, Ben? No, I just, you know, I'm just happy. I'm just happy to be here. I'm happy to be alive. I'm happy to have gone through the night. But yes, the girls answer. How are you? I'm not dead.

Exactly. So, yeah, it's Real Housewives Ultimate Girl's Trip is the penultimate episode, I believe. And penultimate. Yeah, it is. It's almost pen. It's almost over. A lot of controversy about this season.

I noticed people in the comments are not loving it. You posted something on Instagram this week on our Watch What Crapp in stuff like this season bust or lust or whatever you said and I guess that's more of a watch what happens live time right. Yeah, I think I said great or dead. Yeah great or dead I want to hear what people have to say pretty much overwhelmingly dead. Yeah, dead one by like 70% or some shit, right? Yeah, I Listen, you know, I, I, I'm sort of in the dud camp a bit, you know, it's fun to find a humor with you in it,

but I don't really feel like they're doing anything. I don't feel like they're having conversations that are like that interesting. Like I feel like previous grill trips, they kind of really peeled back layers and talked really what it was like to be a real house. By the way, there's also on top of everything else. There's construction happening above my head.

So if you hear any rumbles or drills or sounds, I apologize in advance. That's not my stomach, it's actual construction. Are you getting bigger toilets in there? You know what? That would probably help. You're getting toilets for your food. I had a leak during the LA blizzard. Fucking LA blizzard leak. I can't with the LA blizzard.

So dramatic. I know. It's so dramatic. You did not have a blizzard. LA. I know. Skip the fuck over it. It was the food poisoning of weather.

And it happened. And so that people are in here right now, like fixing, finally fixing the ceiling. It was a week and a half. MOT ceiling. It was a week and a half, it was a week and a half old, Matsasup. Oh yeah, Matsasup. Matsasup. That's what did me and guys,

I hate to say it. Did me. Yeah, I mean, I love it, but, you know, I think I'm, and so are you. So we, we are old enough, but I think the reason I love it is because I'm old enough to remember back when housewives

Wasn't about anything it was just like watching the nature channel you would turn it on There was some ladies kind of doing stuff and not really you're like what are they? You know first season of Orange County literally nothing happened It was just Vicki like putting things in filing cabinets and Gina just moping around her house and assisting. she's happy, which we know how that turned out. And nothing happened. It was like watching the Nature Channel. But now, you know, we're expecting them to just do a lot of stuff.

And I mean, I laugh very loud. So I love it. I'm like, this is the most hilarious Nature Channel I've ever seen. I think it's really fun. But yeah, there's definitely very funny moments. They're very funny moments, but I actually almost wish that the producers would have faith in their stars that they've assembled because they're all interesting and funny people. So I don't know why we need to have like this incessant, a lot group of like a lineup of activities.

You know, I would actually much rather than just hanging out and we just like watch them hanging out and talking and having very natural fights, etc. But the fact that there was the elephant, volleyball thing, and there's just one thing after another where you're like, oh gosh, another it's like pole dancing pulling out all these like very tired activities that I'm trying to have like a really good active really good attitude about but I got food poisoning guys I can't I need I can't be watching Tantric Tantric dinner one of my stomachs rumbling okay yeah I don't need to I don't need to think about you fucking while I'm trying to eat. You know what I mean?

Like I separate those two. Yeah. I separate fucking and eating. I know not everybody does. Hey, to those of you. Some would say they're one and the same. Yeah, to those of you with your kink, with your eating while you're fucking kink. That's great.

You know, good for you. Glad you can juggle like that. Personally, I like my fucking and my eating separate. Also, I don't want to think about Whitney fucking Justin ever. Like, I don't care if I'm eating or not, really don't need to think about it. Really anybody I know, none of my friends, not that she's my real-life friend, only on TV, but I don't think about anybody I know. I want only, like, strangers who are working for their rent. On the internet.

That's the only people I wanna see, fucking, okay. Yeah, it's like if you go to the gym and you see like someone changing and if it's a complete stranger, it's like, oh, whatever, but if it's someone you know, it's like so awkward, you know? Also, the controversy this season has really ticked people off.

I mean, people are so mad about this. Like, Jacelle being mean to Pepsi, and they may be Pepsi-Cry, and then they're attacking Jacelle for making Pepsi-Cry and this and that. So that's kind of where we start this, I mean, by the way, I thought it was hilarious, so I'm not mad. So there you go.

Is it possible we're also just all getting trolled by Pepsi? I sometimes get the feeling like he's just like a local tie actor who's leaning into by Pepsi. I sometimes get the feeling like he's just like a local tie actor who's leaning into this role. I don't know. I have to say, I love Pepsi. Because I saw him, I saw him on a, he did some like little Instagram clip or something like that

and I think he was working on a boat and he was like in a little uniform shirt and he's like, hello, it's me, Pepsi. I just wanted to reach out to all my fans. I've got so many, so many new fans, and I just wanted to reach out and say hello. It's me, Pipsy. You've brought me nothing but love and graciousness.

And I give you nothing but love and graciousness back. Thank you, fans. And I was like, what do you want the balcony of a Vita? He's like, yeah. Pippa La Barte, yeah. Pable of Argentina. All right, well, that's our redemption arc for me, because I was starting to get suspicious of Pepsi. I was starting to be like, is this all an act?

Is this all, we just been bamboozled by Pepsi charmed, by Pepsi, but that's on pretty good. That's on the leadership worker who's newly obsessed with his new found fame, so I bought it. And I'm, well, that's good. Well, we're seeing flashbacks of Pepsi's crying in the episode. We're seeing flashbacks of this like tequila fight between Giselle and what's her face.

Oh, I'm going to be me all day. What's her name? What's her face? What's her buns, as you say? Candace. And we see flashbacks, that that's the trauma that they all went through today. And now they're all putting on makeup.

And Heather is, Heather pulls Porsche to the side and is like, hey, do you want to take a shot? I have a bottle of Class A at Zool, and I stole from Jacelle, I just want to take a quick shot. Just kidding, just kidding. Oh my God, I just made a joke with one of the alphas. Yeah, Pepsi is like crying in the diary room and they show them like sitting

behind the bar crying because of all these accusations of who is stealing and stuff like that. I don't think that, you know, just just responding to, what do you call those conspiracy theorists on the internet? I don't think he stole it. I don't think that's why he's crying. I don't know that he thinks that the staff stole it, and that's why he's crying. But we have to remember this is a different country. We don't know what the penalties are for stealing. We don't know what could happen if somebody does call the police and what could happen to the staff for any of that.

And now I know I sound like a drama queen. I'm just saying, I'm just saying, think of you. It's actually not me at all. I just read it on Reddit, where I get everything, as you know. I read that theory on there and I was like, oh my God, totally team Pepsi now. Yeah. Because before I was like, what are you fucking crying about? That's ain't your show.

I was kind of like Jacelle, like Jacelle's response. So anyway, we'll get to that. So Jacelle is talking about how she's in a bad mood. I don't want to fight. I don't want to question. But when all is said and done, I need you all to tell me who took my bottle. And production's like, okay, Jizelle.

She's like, I'll drop it for today. Because properly production's like, if you say one more thing, they're calling the police. Okay, we need to drop this. Yeah, exactly. And also, it's just not the sort of argument that they can really build a whole series off of, so we need to move forward. So, yeah, just I'll just want to know who has the bottle. And then Leah's hugging Pepsi because she feels better now,

and because she has a Pepsi in her life, like a maker, feel better. And Pepsi's like, girls, I have something to tell all of you. Okay, everyone's sit down. It's like, hey, everyone's sit down. There's something I got to tell you. All right, everyone's sitting down. Okay, and just everyone starts ignoring him, talking over him.

And it's like, come on, girls, girls, girls, come on. I got something to tell you now, girls. Girls, sit down, stand before us all, don't let's head. Okay, geez, I sit down. Portia's wearing sunglasses inside. And I think Whitney is too, geez, I sit down. Portia's wearing sunglasses inside and I think Whitney is too or she will be so. And Portia's like, my face is inflamed. So Pepsi takes the floor and he's like, first off, I have to say, goose, I'm not happy. And Lea's like, are you having diarrhea? Like, are you having your diarrhea?

Because that's like terrible. I have it right now too. By the way, there's a tampon in the toilet with blood and poop. So just be warned. And of course, she's like, There was someone here yelling at the house and he heard it and now he's upset guys

because after you guys shouting, like two minutes later, Oh, he goes, after you, after you after you shout and after you fight Two minutes later you say oh give me a whole girl and you're all game and you're kissing What's going on here? Do you love each other? It's your hate each other. We're a team Yeah, Pepsi is really confounded by like inconsistencies in the way everyone acts He's like not really used the fact that real housewads will fight really hard and then they'll hug afterwards and be like, okay, cool, let's go to lunch.

So Pepsi's like, well, I don't care if it's real or fake. I just don't care for the real or the fake. Of course, it's like, Pepsi, you better preach. You better preach Pepsi. Everything I do for you. That's not fake. That is real for my heart. She's got a fan. She's fanning herself

She's like call on somebody Pepsi. Let him use ya So they start playing like churchy music and he's like what I do for you. It's not fake. It's from me hot And he's crying and they're like we know Pepsi. We love you Pepsi stop your cry. Okay, you're at work, sir. You can't just work. And also if I'm sorry, but if there's someone working for me, which we all know there isn't.

So this is all a pipe dream in the first place. I've always been in service. But if I ever do have an employee and they start crying to me and saying, we're a team, no, we're not Why I'm paying you go clean the toilet That's what I say Pepsi is actually just using the time-honored skills that have always worked on the real house

Why is which is that when things get too intense someone starts to cry and Start to like they just bring everything to a stop and then they can then they can always say no matter what happens We are a family which is like the biggest bandaid of reality stars. Oh, yeah, we're a family Like the the every bus boys ever worked at Applebee's knows that old speech That's what they tell you before they go make you fucking death the rafters for unpaid overtime We're a team Ronnie. We're a team. You don't want to be a bad apple, do you? We're a team, Ronnie. We're a team. You don't want to be a bad apple, do you?

Motherfucker. So just like, oh, sorry. Yeah, I love Candace being all formal. She goes, I will apologize to you personally, because I know earlier I was yelling outside, it's just that I have a world tour coming up that I'm headlining and I just have to practice my vocals in some manner or fashion.

Thank you. Thank you. I know. I'm just like, yes, yes, Pepsi. I did leave here furious after screaming and yelling. But then I had the traffic and traffic. And port. And port. That was like, that was, that was a food poison, the hearty chuckle. That was my food poison to hearty chuckle. That was my first party. That was a cake chest stain. That was a cake chest stain, LOL.

So, to sell, the to sell tells Porsche. She's like, I'm not apologizing for fighting. And Porsche's like, I was going to say, I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, because you feel this way. And then Leah starts crying. And she's like, Pepti, when I was laying there, scared, I heard your voice. And it comes back to Jizal. She's like, he's not living here. This is in his house. He's getting a check. Why the hell I apologize

him. And so Leah is trying to cry and have a moment and then Porsche just interrupts. And it's like, we do not want to offend you. I apologize if we offend you. And there's a wait stop, stop. She's trying to have a moment. Leah's trying to have a moment. And Porsche said, oh, sorry, I didn't even hear it. Sorry.

So Pepsi's like, all right, girls, let me tell you one thing. Pepsi is always beside you. I was like, okay, Pepsi, that's enough. You're not Jesus Christ, okay. Let's look at some Pepsi tag lines, because that's not even a good tag line. Pepsi is always beside you.

Okay, there's the joy of Pepsi, or Pepsi, the choice of a new generation, or Pepsi, for those who think young. Yeah, he could have used any of those, but well Pepsi, well he does say Pepsi always finds your solution, which is very lovely. And he's like, I love you all, I love you all. I'm always beside you and I find your solutions. I love you all. I love you. I'm like Siri. I just want to find things out for you. And Mary soul's like your lacquer security blanket. Well, except you're not made of a glass and filled with vodka.

And Pepsi is like, you're in the hot. I love your whole. No, go Christ somewhere else. That's what I say. Okay, I'll leave your tip in the mailbox. Jesus Christ. I think coming up here to clean up grown men. No, on the other hand, you guys made Pepsi cry shame on you. On the

other hand, stop your sniveling. Poor Pepsi. So yeah, poor she's basically like, yeah, he thought we were just like normal vacationing girls, but we're real housewives. So Angel Zell is just laughing. She's like, Pepsi's not built for the saw. We need a go, go, or a sprake, go, class that's a little bottle of law. We need to Dr. Pepper. What? So then Pepsi's like, such an act we're gonna have nice dinners,

we're gonna have nice coke tails. All right, later, ready for tonight. Oh! And Mary Sol's like, now we're gonna make some cookies now. So now we go to Mary Sol's cocky party because, yes, what else would she have? I mean, do we all just need to have parties based on our insecurities?

Like, come on everybody, we're going to have droopy boobs night for Ronnie night. Well, come on in, we're just going to eat too much dominos and cry while we watch Netflix. Well, it's just like, if I said that my activity was that we're going to have a poop and barf night, it's like, well, just because I'm talking about this a lot doesn't actually want to do it as a leisure activity. I know, but Leo with anyway. She'd be like, hardy. It's time for commercial.

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Yeah, they are. Summer of impossible. I am so excited to be spending time, cooking my foods all that good stuff and guess what we can use Impossible sausages, possible brats. I mean, it's gonna be a great summer for impossible foods Impossible beef is made from plants and 19 grams of protein per serving and it's better for the planet and it's meat Plant meat correct So if you're looking for something to grab for your grill grab some impossible beef Summer of impossible. Start making meat history today.

Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store. Grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. Merch-o. So yeah, because it's evening time, this episode started in the evening already. So they're doing some cocktails and marisol is like, you know, she's like, well, I thought, you know, lunch was super heated and I appreciate everyone coming here because maybe we can all get a lamp.

Okay, and I worked really hard to come up with a cocky man. And so I hope you enjoy it, you know, because like, of course my event is a cocky event. You know, I used to be an event planner. It's not a party unless it's boozy, okay? Look at poor Leah. She's such a bummer. If she had a cookie, cocky, me or a cookie,

maybe she'd have more festive on this trip to Thailand. I mean, you know she's sober, right? That's terrible. Nurse also horrible human being. Okay, I don't care what anybody says. Like, look at Leah, that's because she doesn't drink. Now that said, we've

all seen Leah when she does drink as well, and she's still sucked. So, you know, there's that. But still, you don't say that to a sober person, okay? Inside voice, use your inside voice. You know, and if you had an actual personality, you wouldn't have to try to steal your mom's stick to stay on TV, you lame ass. And I can't believe you're making me stick up for Leah. Well, you know, Leah, when she was off the wagon, probably was not a good choice for her, decided to go back to drinking on her first season

of Real Housewives. But at the same time, if she hadn't done it, she never would have thrown a Ravioly at Ramona. And I always think that's one of her greatest moments, a Ravioly in a restaurant. Well, you know, no, because remember in season one, we thought, oh, that personality all comes from drinking. What's she gonna do, sober?

And then season two, she came in and she was still monstrous. I believe she still has ravioli throwing energy in her. Okay. Yeah, I mean, she might, she might, I mean, she definitely had, she definitely had that moment where she just said in the middle of the scene, I'm bored with the story. So I mean, she didn't really doesn't give a fuck about what people think about her, but she does at the same time.

It's like she doesn't, she doesn't. You know, I'm like, I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna say whatever I want, then someone gets mad. I'm like, Ben, can you believe this? I know. It's the same kind of teenage energy, like where you just never fucking grow up. I think it's for people who fight with their moms. Like we traumatize,

we get traumatized, and then we stay in that same age forever. Yeah. Yeah. Probably has lots to do with mommy issues. Yeah. I think so. I think so. Well, either way, they're making cocktails. The first one's called the extra stiff cock. And they're just making cocktails, and they make something called the porn star. And she says the limp cock is for Leah. It's funny because it has to. Yeah. And, yeah, they're just like making cocktails. I mean, I don't know what else to say about

except they're making cocktails. And Candace is saying that Heather would do really well and only fans with her booty and Heather's like, honey, I will crack a watermelon with this ass. It'll just go boom. Okay, okay. Does anyone know if the big dogs like that choke? Anyone? I can do it from the top. So Mary Saul goes in to check on the food and she says, Oh, what's wrong with the pig? He's so flat. She's

like, that's the way we do it here in Tadden. She's like, Oh, it's so small. Okay, problematic. Get out of the kitchen. Okay, can this cast have five minutes without being problematic? So she loves you. Because she's being ignorant to Thai culture, I don't know why they prepare a pig. Yes, and he's like, this is how we do it.

She goes, ew. It's like, all of Thailand does it wrong. You tell them, it's so flat. So, and it's so small. So then she's like, well, I think many of Thailand does it wrong. Tell them it's so flat. So, and it's so small. So then she's like, well, I think many of the ladies know my mom from the show, and I think she's really great. So I wanted to share a little about her, even though she's not here.

So we're doing a whole menu based on Elsa. I think, all right. But then we have a lot for me. That's a lot for me. I don't wanna eat this either. Just like I don't wanna have a fucking dinner. I don't wanna have a past-away parent dinner either. You know what I mean?

Just can we just, yeah. I mean, I don't mind a tribute dinner. I'm okay with a tribute dinner. I think, yeah, so they decided to put it together. And then, what you just like, I want cockies all night. If I'm not naked by the end of the night, then it's not a good night.

I want cockies, lots of them, and Heather's like, well, if someone here doesn't wake up with a black eye, then we've all failed as friends. Okay, everyone, not to bring a pack up again, so I'm not gonna give you any more information about it. Okay. So, which is how it's like, well, another, another all sitting for dinner and she's like, well, I know this is your dinner, Mary. So I'm like, do your thing, baby.

I'm doing. So I, well, I wanted to talk to you, the, uh, because I said ask Portia and Portia's here. And you said that Portia said that she doesn't like you. And then we see the two hours earlier. And you said that Porsche said that she doesn't like you and then we see the two hours earlier. Candace, what does Porsche hate me? Like what the hell? And Porsche said, I didn't say I hate you. We were lunch and Candace said you were talking about tagging you and she said to explain myself and I said, I didn't take leave because I don't like Leah. Leah's not my type of chick. You're just not my five. I didn't say I hate you. I said, I don't like you. And you're terrible. And you're not my vibe. And you smell funny. And you're gross.

At least like, and I feel the same way about you. I mean, there's definitely a few times where I feel this energy. Like, you're like, I'm not down with you, but like, I don't know what I did. And you don't have to explain what I did. Because sometimes people just don't like each other and we don't even know each other. So I don't even care. I don't care. Such a self is like, oh, but did you care about her not tagging you? Did that make you cry? Did that make you think about your mother, ra, and your mommy issues?

Do you want to delve into that, right now, wa? And it's like, yeah, because it's the elephant lunch where you talk about the social media element of the show and like how that's got a negative impact on us. And you know, it sends a message. It was a cyber bullying, probably not, but like it doesn't match up with what you're saying.

And then, first of all, I have to say, nice work on leasing sensible in this, because Leah doesn't get mad and yell or anything. She's just like, one minute you're giving woman empowerment speeches, and the next you're being like a child in junior high, which I thought was nice work because now it's making Porsche pissed off.

Yeah, and then we see all the clips of Porsche being like, I'm so glad we're all in this sisterhood. Yeah, and then say like, it's the same place. Yeah, but then Porsche's like, I have a response to Leah. Instead of Port Leah, Leah by, Leah by, you don't like me, I don't like you, Leah by.

Which I thought was kind of funny, it was funny the way she said it, but also it's kind of funny because, you know, Portia's vibe is like, look, no, there was nothing personal about it. I just, I don't like you, so I didn't include you. And Leah's like, okay, cool.

Well, I don't like you either. Oh, by, Leah by. Like, Portia's bother. Portia. Yeah, cool. Well, I don't like you either. Oh, bye, me a bye. Like the porcelain bother. Yeah, porcelain, we're the one who cast the first zone, but that's why. Porcelain loses because she's the most bothered. And I think she thought she was gonna get to have a fun fight with Leah.

And instead, Leah's just rolling her eyes and laughing in her face. So I have to say, I think Leah takes this one. I don't think I've said that in years, by the way. But Leah takes this one. And the porcelain's like, you don't like me. I don't like you. And he's like, um, okay, cool. Just Leah by. She has um, Porsche by. She has Leah by. She's like, uh, Porsche by.

Leah by. And she's like, okay, okay, great. You're all buys. You're all both buys, okay? It goes on for a very long time of the midway. Porsche by, nearby. So, Porsche's basically like, she's saying that when Lea was talking, it was just too much. And when she was trying to get with this, like, housewives energy, Porsche, I don't know, I don't even know what else. She's trying to get housewives energy from Porsche. She's like, she's trying to get housewives energy from Porsche,

but even if she did get it, she couldn't handle it anyway. But she is getting your energy, you know, she's getting your liabye So Porsche is like, you know, you need to be more part of the group because I don't feel like you're even connecting with anything since you got here And what you're trying to do is create and I was there moment like I was there because I argued with Porsche or Porsche did this to me or Portia did that to me. You haven't been doing a damn thing since you've been here and you tell everyone they're boring. And Leah's like, no, I didn't tell everyone that.

That was just one dinner. Yeah, I mean, Leah's obnoxious, but I actually don't get the vibe from Leah that she's like, I'm gonna go after Portia and like have like a scene and be popular again. I don't feel like, I don't get the vibe from Leah that she's like, I'm gonna go after Portia and like, get my, like have like a scene and be popular again. I don't feel like, I don't get the energy from Portia. I think Portia's coming from her.

Portia's coming from her. Portia's coming from her. Yeah, I feel like her. Leah is wrapped up in her own, you know, neuroses that she almost doesn't need out of time or the ability to create a moment. I think she just like leaves this her mind. And like you said, I think it all comes down

to her mommy issues. And you know, once she gets triggered, she just goes berserk. Right. Leah's moments on housewives are never fights. They're never, um, like, oh, there's no Leah quotes. You know what I mean? Like, there's no Leah quotes in the world that I can remember. There's only Leah through a rough. She only Leah through a tiki torch. Um, Leah got naked. Cool. Yes, they're all action based. They're all, you know, they would be written in action

in a screenplay, not in lines. So, Porsche, and also I think if you want to start something, you don't start something with a boring person. Like, Porsche, you're having this whole big scene, but Leah's boring. So you're only gonna with a boring person. Like, Portia, you're having this whole big scene, but Lee is boring, so you're only gonna have a boring fight. This is gonna go down as one of the most boring fights this season, this season. And that's saying a lot, so congratulations.

I mean, I actually am, I'm surprised because I thought Lee was gonna get mad because Portia's basically saying, hey, you're not part of the group, you need to participate in group activities, but like she's sober and they're doing, the group activities are like, you know, there was like the cocky cocky-making thing just five minutes ago. So I'm I'm sure it has more to do with the fact that she's been sick etc. But I was surprised. I thought that Leah was gonna be like, but I'm sober. You want me to participate in activities when like I

don't even drink, but Leah actually didn't fall for that one either. Yeah. So, of course, it's like, Leah wants to smoke. Well, go get one of your cigarettes then. And Leah's like, you know, sad. So Leah's like, well, I'm engaging with the people here. I mean, I engage with Heather. I engage with Candace. I mean, do I have to like everyone?

And Lexi is like, no, but she doesn't have to like you, either. So don't forget that. And when he's like, Leah, I want to give you feedback There's a lot of complaining like I'm tired or like I'm Missing why is why is Whitney yelling and sunglasses from the end of the table? But anybody, I don't know. And she's like, it's a lot of this and that. And what the conclusion is that the vibe that you may be put off isn't the vibe

that you want to pull off. And Leah's like, yeah, my mom's a therapist. This is how I turned out. I'm expressive. That's just who I am. And when he's basically telling us, maybe this is how Leah is. Constant state of irritation, but it's absolutely not the vibe of this trip.

The vibe of this trip is pole dancing tomorrow. Let's get together and bond pole dancing and create meaningful relationship with poles. So just as like, I don't think there's anything to resolve here. Okay, I should have ended this fight when I said, you're both buys. That's what it should have ended. And Porsche's like, let me be clear, there's no beef.

We just don't buy. We just don't buy. And I'm not the only person here. I mean, who do you vibe with? And who are five of the, and who doesn't vibe with the razor hands? And Mary says like, well, how there's made an extreme effort to speak Spanish. And at the same time, we've had good conversations with Candice and enjoyed our time with you,

but Candice, when we get in the group, you got crazy and you're so loud. And Candice is like, I'm loud. Really? I'm louder than everyone else. She goes, yeah, you're the loudest one here. I mean, it's Candice, the loudest one here. I mean is Candace a lot of one here hands up Oh, thanks, and of course is the teams. I just love that they've just like pivoted this totally away from me I just Marisol wanted to say that Candace is the loudest so Candace going false false false Marisol is like yeah, but who is the loudest who's the loudest? I mean, I mean Heather, please are I mean are you already deaf? All right, whether this is crazy. So I mentioned, I said Porsche's line wrong because she was saying, we just don't vibe and listen, I'm not the only person here who doesn't vibe. Who do you guys

vibe with and who do you not vibe with? So she was trying to turn it so that it wasn't only about her, right? She let us turn this into a really negative game. So Mary's soul picks Candace and Candace is like, well, the group is up. Forch is ass. Of course they're going to say me. Forch is the loudest and forch is like, is everyone at my ass hands up? Yes or no? And Mary's cell is like, I don't want to be up there. Yeah, I mean, she's got a, yeah, I don't want me up that ass. So Heather is like, you know what? I came here to connect with everyone,

which is funny because no one here's really connected about anything, if we never really talked to each other, really, we just fight with each other. And the only one who I got like an automatic cutoff from was Giselle, one of the big dogs, one of the alphas. And when she said, I don't trust a word out of your mouth, I was like, man, man. And she's like, well, well, it's not like I don't trust a word out of your mouth, I was like, man, man, and she's like, well, well, it's not like I don't like you.

It's that I don't trust you. And what you've been saying, because since we've been here, it's been very fussy. And it's this whole Gen Shove that's all. And that's what it is. Yeah, it's the whole Gen Shove at all. But it's weird. And so, Candace is like, she's kind of talking lowly to the end She's like when we were in the car Heather was reaming out jazel I'm just kind of wait and see if she'll be honest about how she really feels about jazel I'm waiting and then we see in the car five hours earlier with Heather like oh you're picking me for a reason alpha

Well, I'll be quiet and I'll be small and that's what I'm gonna still win because I almost Theresa Juno is just out today with that table. I'm just turned it over around her fucking head. And when he's like, but I don't you say that in real life. So it cuts back. And Heather's like, uh, listen, I think you can't get a read because you have just, you can't get a read on me because you haven't been open to me. And she's like, oh, you two, you two, two sides, you're not open and I'm not open. We're both not open. And she's like, well, but when you said I was the number one suspect, I wanted to like throw my soup and flip the table and be like, I'm done.

I'm not going to prove I'm here with good intention. I'm your number one suspect for the classes, old mystery. That's not cool. How many followers am I going to get out of this? So Candice is like wow Heather's balls dropped. She's a fully grown woman now. I'm so proud of you. You stood up to the neck So Heather's like it felt targeted and unnecessary and I was like you know what I read I read the room right She's not open to a relationship with me and she laid it on the table that alpha laid it right out there

And just all says well, we have two days on on the table so we can fix it If you're open, I would like a doover raw So Heather actually somehow kind of I think caught just all off guard and Just all just all didn't push back or anything just I was like oh, oh, sorry. Yeah, no, I'll sure let's do a doover And Heather's like I mean, sorry, yeah, no, I'll, sure, let's do a doover. And Heather's like, I mean, look, everything about me's open. I came in here with like this pick me attitude. And she's like, but why? That's annoying.

And she goes, I'm being open and vulnerable, just out. I'm not trying to be cool. I'm just being me. Heather, normal girl, girl for all of the normal girls out there. Oh, the girls you just want to be liked by Jazeal. Subscribe, like, subscribe, and like. You know, I was just an open, I came in here as an open book, except for one small chapter about a black guy

that you're not allowed to read. And Jazeal was like, well, I'm sorry, YAH, nobody's ever vulnerable around me, YAH, so I got to get used to it. Ah, which I felt like was a, to get Candace. So I have this like, yeah, I'm even loyal to Whitney. Well, Mary Sous says, well, yes, you know,

the thing that means you're loyal. I mean, I like a loyal friend and have to go, yeah, I'm even loyal to Whitney. And people are like, why are you writing for her? She hates you. And I'm like, because she's blood. She is blood. Yeah, by like a technicality,

like they didn't even know there were cousins until they traced it back and they're like, oh, it turns out we have a, we have a great grandfather that connects us both, but it's not like they were raised together going to like, you know, Easter service. It's ridiculous. It's like every 11 of these person is related to F. Maria Abraham. You know what I mean? Or like, Kathy Najimi, it's one of those two.

Like we're just so proud. We're like, you know what? I'm kind of related to Kathy Najemi, so. Gary, tell your friends. Yeah, my Jewish celebrity relatives are not really, they're not like, they're not big brag worthy things. They're not like, it's like guys, I am related to JJ Abrams. It's more like, I'm related to Richard Maser,

who was in the movie License to Drive. And George Burns was like my third cousin. And he was like, that's pretty badass, so. It is badass, but I was like three years old, and he was 120 years old, and I never met him. Yeah, but you could see's not like the movie posters to like oh god Was not what it was called to torture hey cuz and I said you know what I will watch this movie And I will enjoy it because we are blood we are blood. Okay, so

So Portia is, uh, she's that now Portia's trying to be like self congratulatory because she's like, well, see, like, look, we turned a pot. We took a negative moment into a positive moment. Thanks me. And Heather is like, I was raised that you have to go along to get along. And this is the first time I've realized that I can, I can be liked and have an opinion about something I don't like that shirt. I don't like that shirt either. I don't like that shirt Emery sells like

Some Pepsi's like let's do it goes so then um they get up and The Heather makes the cheers to mama Elsa and they do hugs and staff hug shots and then Heather and Whitney start hugging like too deeply and saying sorry over and over. And Mary was like, hang guys, look at that. It's so beautiful. They're like, oh my god, Heather and Whitney hugging. No, I'm at my khaki.

I didn't left it on the table. Oh, they are hugging. Look at that. It was nice to see them reconcile, but also funny to know that they would all be torn apart again at BravoCon and then later the reunion. I mean, that's the arc of these shows. As soon they worked so hard to get them to come together and then in the moment that they

do, Bravo just throws everything at them. So they become adversaries again. But it's literally happened five times this season already and we're only on episode six. Thank you, saying, oh my god, I forgive you. Workhazons, we're only on episode six. Thank you, saying, oh my God, I forgive you. Work as those worst sisters. Let's not forget it. And then the next minute, they're like,

thank you and you. Yeah. So what needs like, we've been through so much this year together. We went to Scottsdale. That was a lot. And what needs says, we've both been hurt, and we both hurt each other.

And we have to remember, we are other and we have to remember we are connected we are friends we are a family we are a family okay Whitney all right come back now it starts raining and they're still hugging and Porsche is like in the rain it's a blessing and so they a bunch of them jumping up pool and and had us like baptized me baby baptized me the popular girls are watching all the red scrunchies in the pool They jump in and then my friend Marisol's like oh my god the microphones Oh god the my Marisol definitely still has that energy of like Miami Maybe canceled at any moment. She's already lived through Miami getting canceled So she's like don't give them a reason. Don't give the reason. Save the microphones.

Oh, she's trying to extend it for production. So she can keep her job. Unlike Jacelle, who knows she's not going to get canceled anytime soon, is like yelling at production. And yeah, Mary's thoughts like worried. So she's like, save the microphones. Uh, so Pepsi goes and it looks like he's going to try and save the ladies, but he's really saving the mics, you know and And so everyone jumps to the pool and it's a good. It's a nice little ending to the night, right? Yeah So Leah gets in the pool and she goes, um, I would just like to know that I'm not complaining right now

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So now it's the morning, and Jizelle is telling Pepsi that he looks rested, and he's like, okay, thanks. So they're going gonna go to a temple today. And Pepsi is like trying to talk to Giselle because he's trying to figure out what the hell a tantric dinner is. And he's like going over with Giselle and she's like, I don't know. She's like, well, tantric is another form

of sexual expression, but yeah, I have no idea what this is. I have no idea. Like, and he's like, well, how about like, we'll get like a hot dog and then, but no for a night, so you have to use your mouth to eat it. And she's like, mm, I don't get it.

But yeah, I think we'll all learn together. Raw. Yeah, so I guess too early for all this, but see, yeah, get with me. And so perhaps Celia and Heather, perhaps he's like, today is today's temple day. Now listen, girls, you've got to respect the temple today and you're dressed, okay?

You can't just be wearing phones everywhere, can we? Whitman talking to you now. We know how you are with me. And how there's like, well, what about our fighting? And he's like, listen, I'm going to tell everybody, stop! Taylor, I'm strong enough. Haha.

Lago's love you Pepsi goes love you love you are three thousand always always so Meanwhile what needs like walking around to be keeny top and Marisol's like you're not wearing that to the temple Are you like are you are you bring a pole Dan? I bring a pole to the temple What he's like do you think that let me in just I like you and And he's like, do you think that'll let me in? She says, I like you, and Alexi goes, I never let you out, looking like that. And Alexi tells us, I've never seen so many tits in one spot. Okay.

She has a lot of projecting going on with which I have you seen the real houses of Miami, Alexi, have you seen the real houses in Miami, Alexia? Have you seen yours? Oh my goodness, like she's just anti a younger blonde lady or just maybe like another blonde lady with gigantic boobs. You know, I don't know what it is, but she seems to be really, really bothered by Whitby.

But, well, Alexia also has like a reverence for sacred spaces, like remember when Grady took her to look at a former monastery or something or a former convent to be a wedding venue. And I said, oh my god, oh my god. And she was like doing the sign of the cross. She was like, no, no, no, no. So I think that's just like more of a cure.

And the Marisol was like, I mean, is that when you warn the Mormon church? I mean, and then you're gonna go to a temple in Thailand, which is even more strict. I mean, this is a wild banana time, huh? Lexi's like, girl, go cover up your tata, so let's go. So when he's like, I'm doing tonight,

this is what I mean, help with. And it's really vulgar, okay guys? When people say something, and I'm like, enough is enough, I always say, put a dick in their mouth. Ha, ha, ha. And Lexi, it doesn't laugh. She's just, oh my god, I'm so glad you didn't say enough is enough. I always say put a dick in their mouth. Ha! And Alexia doesn't laugh. She's just oh my god. I'm so glad you didn't say that in the temple. And Mary says like, oh you mean like eat a bag of dick. It's kind of thing. She's yeah. But like tonight what I need. Oh my

god, you need a dick. Is this what you're saying? Or if you told us yesterday we saw the pinky that yesterday remember remember? We saw it. We saw it. We could have got it for you. I Feel like it's bad news when you're getting notes on your jokes from Marisol. Oh like bag of dicks. Okay. Well, maybe she used that one It's a little boring out. I don't know. You know see don't have there. These are just notes. You don't have to you don't have to do them You don't have to not do them. I just know So with me wants to get an actual dick to put in people's mouths when they're talking too much. So Whitney in my mouth, my mother fucking mouth.

So Whitney is like, she's like to embarrass to ask Pepsi to get dildos essentially. And Marcia was like, oh yeah, he gets real offended. I'm like, yeah, because you're in a different country with different customs and cultures. So Alex is like, oh, well, you know what, at this point, we all need a dick. We all need a dick. Okay, especially you booby face. Okay. So now it's the breakfast table and Marisol, of course, enters like, I need a cocktail. We fucking get it, dude. Calm down over there. And Alex is like, listen, I never thought I would be like Mary soul because she left the room with nothing and I'm like we need the OJ and the vodka look I'm turning into Mary soul look at that. I need a prop. I need a prop and a fake marriage anybody anybody

Oh, it's infectious my personality of so infectious everyone wants to be me. God. I'm gonna You're the envy of every female impersonator across the country because you get access to the real deal honey of every female impersonator across the country because you get access to the real deal, honey. Speaking of infectious, there goes Leo. So Leo gets up and covers her mouth and runs out of the room and runs past the breakfast room and they're playing like wacky horn music, which is hilarious. Yeah, that is some like my seat. I was like, Leo is sick clown music. I was like, this is so over dramatic until I basically re-enacted the exact same scene last night. I went down that path. So she runs off to go throw up and Marissa was like, well, you know, she takes a lot of medication. Maybe it's on an empty stomach.

Oh, maybe she's sick of not drinking. Am I right? Am I right guys? So the emergency worker comes into Leah's room and she's like, I'm weak and nauseous. And Candice checks on her and she's driving. I have a please let me, I just feel so nauseous. And basically, she goes try to throw up some more. Candace is like getting sick in a foreign place is terrifying.

I don't know if it's something she ate or drank or if it's these evil girls making her sick, but I feel terrible for her. Yeah, so the temple day was supposed to be Leah's big day, but she's gonna have to miss out. So she's just getting electrolytes, which is probably something I need at this moment. And then Pepsi's checking you on her,

and she's like, I'm dizzy and I'm like nauseous, and I have diarrhea and a mom who just doesn't get it. You know, how many times do you get sick and your mom says, we'll get a job? Like it just doesn't get it, you know, like how many times you get sick and your mom says, well, get a job, like it just doesn't get it. So Pepsi's like, okay, well, great. So they did basically, she needs to go to the ER. So she heads off to go to the hospital.

Yes, and she's like cuddling with her little statue, like her little elephant saint statue or whatever it is. So she goes and they pile into the vans and Portia and Jacelle are like Heather, Heather, get in with us, Heather. And Heather's like, what? Regina George just said get in it. Let's go shopping.

Oh my God, the popular girls. I'm going on this bus, I'm never getting off. Well, so much for that personal growth last night. So then Portia's like, oh, I'm missing anybody? Oh, yeah, Leah, that's right, Leah. So shady. Leah's like in the ER. So like, do we, oh, we're missing someone?

Probably no, we're not missing anyone. So, yeah, Leah's just like in her hospital bed, just with everything hooked up to her, just being miserable. And everyone else is arriving at the temple, which is like 500 years old. And the producer is asking everyone, you know, like, what do you guys think that Lee is up to? And Marisol's like, wait, where is not with us? Isn't she the one driving the car? Are you sure? This temple is over 500 years old. And she's like,

ah, Alex, even older than that. Needs tatas. It needs some Whitney tatas. Get them up there. The tempo could look much younger. So we see pretty shots of this gorgeous temple and stuff. Next. They go inside.

They do like a Pepsi's leading, like a little, their monks are leading a service and Pepsi's sort of translating or guiding them through. It's actually in adorable and lovely little scene. And, you know, I'm Porsche's saying that they've all been through hell. So she's gonna bring United and Judi the Group.

And, you know, she's just hoping that's what the other women are going to do. So basically, Porsche suddenly remembers the persona she tried to adopt at the top of the season. Remember when this show began? She's like, I'm just a fan now. I'm not a housewife. I'm just a fan.

I can't wait to meet all these women. And now she's just like getting'm just a fan now. I'm not a house, I'm just a fan. I can't wait to meet all these women. And now she's just like getting in the mix with all of it. So now she's trying to be like, yeah, no, I just want to bring positivity now. That's all I care about. Yeah. So they all have to give their intentions. And they're all fairly basic. It's like, I want a healthy life. I want a happy life. I want peace. I want happy. You know, every one of them would think they're like the rest of us. Money, give me money. Here's your basket of toilet paper, tampons and razor blades. And in return, I want some goddamn money. A lot of it too. Okay. Yeah. So then we see. Yeah. So, yeah. So, now take a piece of paper and your number and come over here. I'll read your futures

or whatever There's a storm brewing right so they all have to take these little papers out of what looks like old-fashioned male slots Yeah, and they go outside with Pepsi and he's like Giselle he goes Giselle You've got the number 31. Let maternity of the truth girl your husband or boyfriend in the future is always broke It's like how thanks That thanks well probably won't be getting in the first place

That's a really nice and though does that mean Jason's broke and then Pepsi's DeCandace is like well, that's it's like you're all alone in the ocean, but you're a fighter. And of course, Candace pounds on that. Because preparing for headlining a tour has been lonely, dealing with the issues that Chris and I have happened through has been lonely. And that's very accurate. I am fighting in an ocean. I'm specifically fighting a large man-ter-ray that's plaguing me. A man-ter-ray called fame and fortune wanting to steal me away from this lifestyle, but I have to say humble and grounded

Otherwise this headlining tour which I'm headlighting on tour may never succeed hashtag headlining a tour So then he goes to for sending us Porsche not very good. You're gonna be having a problem with a lesbian not very good. You're gonna be having a problem with a lesbian. What? She says, oh, oh, yeah. She says, if someone tells you something, tells you something on the street, that's like, whatever, it's just a street, but word of the temple, I might get beat up for real. Word of the temple.

Word of the temple. It's so good. We're in the temple. It's so good. So they go back to the house, they're trudging back up the driveway. I was like, wow, why are we going to have a driveway? You can't even drive up on. And everyone's doing makeup again. Whitney's FaceTiming Justin and telling him that tonight's her activity, it's going to be a tantric temptation dinner.

And Leah's still in the hospital. And so Candice FaceTimes her. And Leah's actually feeling worse than she did before. And Leah's like, is it boring? Because I'm not there. Let me rephrase that. Is this like one of Alexia's stories about how her ex was closeted gay since I'm not there?

And Candice is like, there's no way to pick on. That's for sure. And she's like, oh my God, you're gonna handle these bitches on your own. I'm in the phone, but Leah's faced on miserable. And Candace is like cliffhanger, here we go. So then we're in the kitchen with Whitney and Peps.

And there's this dude who's the chef, he's the tantric chef. He's got like way too much, well, I guess I shouldn't say too much sexual energy because he's the tantric chef, but he's like, how well there? Welcome. Let me show you the sexual tantric ingredients. Here's peace shoots, which represent penis shoot net little please. Now get him inside of this snail, which is a vulva, and suddenly I can grow a little jelly belly, which is right here in the middle. What do you think of that? Anybody turned on yet?

It's like you get the fuck outta here, you fucking pervert. What'd you guys just drive around downtown to you, saw somebody looking for too much change in their pockets and say, hey, you want to cook dinner for us? Definitely stretching to make it all sexy. He's like, he's like, well, here's a curry paste

that took an hour and a half to grind that curry paste. It's all about patience and rhythm. And Sara, you made curry paste, okay? You did not. You did not fully. Yeah, you got to grind it. Yeah, grind it. Yeah, grind it.

Oh yeah, grind the curry. I was like, this is a stretch. Yeah. So when you was like, tantric isn't just about sex, it's about sensuality. It's about taking Hershey's syrup and squirting it on Justin's back. That's tantric, that's life. She's like, I hope we can bond on a deeper level. And then there's performers who are gonna do like sexy dances, teach sexy dances.

And Pepsi's like, they have to come up with drink specials and stuff and they task Pepsi with coming up with a sex drink. So he's like, they have to come up with drinks, specials and stuff and they task Pepsi with coming up with the sex drink. So he's like, this is a drink special. It's called sticky in my hand. And when you finish, you use your towel to clean your hand. Okay, Pepsi. Very central.

Very central. Very central. You jerked off in a closet is not a sexy. Yeah, okay. Also, we just literally did this last night. So, yeah, so that everyone's like. Yeah, okay. Also, we just literally did this last night. So, yeah, so that everyone's like, wow, okay. And I guess there's a freaking everyone. So Heather's like, I think any man who's special to cocktail

is sticky in my hand, has a secret naughty side. Such an alpha in the bedroom, am I right? Oh my God, it's like Regina George learning about her secret king. I love it. So, they have dinner and James comes Jamie or whatever it comes at. And he's like, oh, oh my God, it's like Regina George learning about her secret king. I love it. So they have dinner and James comes Jamie or whatever it comes at. And he's like, oh, I'm you. Ten, he's like, I'm you.

Tantric shift to the night. Grown, groan. Oh, did that curry? Anyone horny yet? Lot of effridesiac things and gradients. For example, oysters, I was like, well, Doug, real deep for that one, Jamie. Fuck him. Hey, fuck him.

Ack. So I love calling him a hack. I was like, well, Doug real deep for that one, Jamie. Fuckin' A. Fuckin' A. So, I love calling him a hack. It's like, we're gonna find a real tantric chef. Yeah. So, I'm not believing this for two seconds. Well, also, I question his preparation because they present the oysters. I mean, our soul's like, I don't know about this. This one's spread out like it's been all over town, which is basically like, he'd butchered

it while he was shunking the oyster the oyster like he doesn't know what he's doing yeah they're also gigantic and so Whitney's like when it comes to tantric food it's about having the most pleasure in your mouth yeah Whitney yes I think we all got it Whitney so can't this is like that's really good. And I think it's called me on cum or something and when he's like my come. Well, I never thought an Irish man would be making sexy food can't wait for him to start. So just like, well, I foresee his penis being long, but skinny, yeah, marisles like, hey, Porsche, did you see that that our friend Johnson is joining us at the table?

Like it's a dildo. It's a dildo. So, they're all like laughing. And then the chef brings out this sort of phallic sexual looking thing which turns out to be a banana blossom. So he's sort of playing with it and he opens it up and a little baby banana. So it's all, that's like a little bit more sensual. I'm going to give him credit.

There was some, there was some generally- I was being pregnant with octubits, octublet sexual. No one is watching him open this mother banana and seeing hundreds of baby bananas and feeling sexy right now. I can tell you that much. Nobody. Well, it was great to find out the origin story of all those bananas in the pajamas. So Porsche is, Porsche is like, I'd be googling that. Because she's like, I don't believe anything this guy's saying. So, yeah, so just as I was like, so we and Marisol were talking and we think the chef's

penis is long and skinny. I'm going to try to have this conversation the second time. I don't want to jump in. I don't want to do a yes and this conversation. Nah. And Candice is like, well, I mean, there the second time. I don't want to jump in, anyone want to yes and this conversation. Nah. And Candice is like, well, I mean, there are extremities. He's tall. So that would make sense. And Alexis is like, oh, you know what?

That's Leah's job to look at crutches. That's Leah's job. They're Leah do it. And it's like the most important thing is if they know how to use their noses. And everyone just stops and looks at her. And for sure goes go did you say their nose yeah uh oh not gonna give away my secrets for us to go how big is

her vagina the sad news is that Whitney probably thinks and knows is a completely different body part so Marisol's like wow I've seen that in the movies and it's like porn I love watching porn I I like watching porn. So it needs like I Promise Justin I'd have boundaries today Why you don't want him to get fired from the carpool lane You're fucking nose fucking give me a fired from nothing. So like she is like, okay Oh, what do you think is more important besides the ship or the emotion of the ocean. So just like, well, if it's not a two-hander, goodbye, yaa.

And then, then, first thing is, Porti gives a real or answer. She's like, it depends on how big his belly is. And then Heather's like, well, that was scary. The hell out of me. I had a two-hander once, and there wasn't a time he didn't come out of the bathroom that I wasn't terrified and they're like what you're scared of big dicks Is she was yeah, and they start laughing at her?

She's like I think it's a it's a I think most people would be I think it's a normal human reaction to something that will Inpay all them. So porch is like hotheader will break a big D. Trist it right off So Portia's like hot Heather will break a big D twist it right off So wouldn't he's like this is who I am I'm a sexual being season two I saved the craziest thing on housewives for this moment guys listen listen up I I did love his art, which is not really a thing But I I say it like it's a thing with my man and like we put paint on the canvas I think we had sex on it and it's a thing with my man. And like we put paint on the canvas, I think we had sex on it.

And it's beginning painting. So it goes, wow, did you hang that up in the kids room? One of the biggest consequences of the show happened. My husband lost his job. And when he told me he lost his job, I was going to quit the same day. And they were like, why would you do that? And that's two people who don't have a job.

And then a sperm painting in your kids' room. Oh, where's that gonna lead to? I was done, but my husband looked at me and said, you told me five years ago that you're gonna retire my ass. So you're gonna retire my ass. He said, do I take my wife's power and tell her she can't get a job?

Or do I stay home and work on my nose muscles so I can keep her happy until I retire. Oh, well, you know, you better keep your man in that job. He's a keeper. He's a real keeper for everything I've seen. And I can only imagine how handsome he is. And Murray still is like, yeah, well, I did see that senior shocking. It was cringy.

I know. And Porsche is like, yeah, I mean, that happens a lot on camera, you know? Like whenever you're like trying to give them a nasty dance or get them in the bathtub, and then they show Adriana, I forgot, like, season one or two, giving the sexy dance to a Frederick and the camera in the bathtub.

I forget that. I then there was like Theresa and Jojudice, which I have forgotten, which is awkward. I was fully. I think there was like Theresa and Jojudeis, which I have forgotten, which was awkward. I was fully preparing for Ramona oiling. Ramona is, like I was surprised it wasn't in there. The Ramona massage for Mario. This one is terrible. Yeah. So Portia's like, yeah, those never come off the right way. And when he was like, my point is the following. I blew my life up over that moment and it impacted our family in a negative way. And however, already this year, I've made more

than he did last year. Like when he was fired. That makes sense. The year he was unemployed. No, I mean, I get what she means, but housewives does not last forever. You know what I mean? I'm what she means, but housewives does not last forever. You know what I mean? I'm assuming she's including housewives money. So this whole like Justin is just gonna retire now because you're like doing good on housewives.

No, no. Get Justin's ass up and get him to work. I know that there's more work in Salt Lake City for Justin to do. Okay, Justin's life is not ruined because you all did some love as art bullshit and slapped each other's butts on camera, so get Justin to work. Yeah, well, you know what, his life's work is far from over. That's what we know. So now, guess what? Here come the pole dancing instructors, because pole dancing is Whitney. So they go out to like the living room and there's a pole and then people are doing lessons and just all swirling around and then

Marisol gets on there and say, hold on, I have a very bad Patelah. Be careful with me. You know, this is my first time on a pole because I ain't no how. I would like to mash the pole because I want to be a how. Yeah, and she picks up all the dollars on her term. And she's like, my, on her turn. And she's like, let me tell you something. My mother was a ravaging and never left a dollar on the floor. She worked over, she, she said, pick up every dollar. We're not, we're not rich. We're refugees. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I was like, could you leave Mama Elsa alone? Just leave her alone. Why you got to bring her under the pole dancing scene? Let the woman be. Oh, I feel like Mama Elsa would love the pole dancing.

Oh, yes. I haven't done that. She'd be the best. She would love it. I love Mama Elsa. So Alexia, I'm just like, oh, what do you know Whitney with living her best life? But I like to think about what's her kids. I love when Alexia's on the Become So Prudish. She is so hilarious prudent on this show because, you know, on Miami, she's not prudent at all. I mean, her taught us, as we mentioned, her taught us were out, and God bless. Put your taught us out. It's something specifically about Whitney that's bugging her.

She's like really bothered. And I think it's because she does see a different version of Whitney and her she sees a different version of herself. It's like here's this young blonde girl doing pole dancing talking about tantric shit you know because earlier in the episode Alexia was the one who's like oh yeah you know that we need dick dick all of us because we're like we're starving for dick now because like right now like we're in a different country we don't have access to dick that's what we need that Pepsi to that, but that on the shopping list, dick, okay?

And then she goes, she goes, oh, but thank God Justin already got fired. Yeah. And then Whitney of course, and of course, she does pole dancing because she wants to show off that she's a good pole dancer, right? So she does like the full pole dancing spinning thing and then splits, ends up with splits on the ground

and they have to like, what do you call it? Blur out her lady parts and stuff. Oh, I didn't notice that. Yeah. And Alex just got to Alexy like, oh no. And then Whitney and Candace are chalking and taking shots together and they decide

to go smoke bluds together. Yeah. And they're getting stoned. And then Whitney's like, Oh my God, I just took a breath of Marjorana. And now I'm so stoned. Oh, what day is it today? And Candace is like Wednesday, Sunday, I don't know.

So when he's like, I'm hungry now. I want a chicken burrito with mild sauce. That's what I want. Because I've got the munchies. Candace is like, it doesn't work that quickly. It's like, you can't just start it. And so we see her just go into the kitchen and eat all of the KFC that they brought.

They just brought in for Porsche. She just starts eating it. Then she takes it and she like stumbles out to the pool and tries to get on a pool floaty and then just falls over and they're... Yeah. I'll be interested to see if her eating Porsche's KFC is gonna come back to Haunter, on a pool floaty and then just falls over. And they're not. I'll be interested to see if her eating Porsche's KFC is going to come back to Haunter. But I guess you have only one episode left to find out if it will.

So anyway, Tom Willtail, thanks everyone for listening and we'll catch a bunch of you all in Toronto and Philly later this week. And until then, we'll talk to you next time. Bye! Bye. Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors! Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney! Dana C, Dana Dew!

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