Watch What Crappens - RHUGT: Twisted Sisters

Episode Date: December 1, 2021

Melissa throws a pajama party on episode four of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip, and LuAnn gets frisky with the butler during a game of Twister. This week's premium bonus is a video recap of the RHOC trailer. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens, and get tickets for our Winter Tour at https://www.watchwhatcrappens.com/10th-anniversary-hunky-dory-tourSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music it, you can't swap. I've been spent there so much that's happened. Whoa. Hell, learn! Welcome to Watch What Happens!

So, podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about. Honey, yo, bruv. Stooooling! Welcome to... That's what's on the island, baby! That's what's on the island, Heswans on the island baby Heswans on the island baby Heswans on the island

Viva Viva Heswans on the island baby Heswans on the island Viva Viva Well hi everybody welcome to the show I'm Ronnie that's been over there

Hello Benjum Moon Moon Hello God I love that theme song. I was, I wasn't, I wasn't sold at first and now it's all, I can think about, I spent all week singing it to myself everywhere I went. I'd be like, well, I've got to put some laundry in the washing machine. How's that in the island being there? Forget the bodies of it. Yeah, it's a, it's a lot, you know, and we spent so much time on Bravo, like criticizing how much people can sing and you know It was Candace's single good. It's the way I have really just trash all of that But you know you get to this and this is how to do it. It's like that. I don't give a fuck

I'm just gonna sing it anyway So like the bodice I'm gonna I have to like really commit to learning all the lyrics because I feel bad that I have to sort of like peter off after so that the party's start until I get to the Fiva, Fiva, feel it. Can you feel the odd Fiva, Fiva? It's so good. It's so good. It's so visceral.

Well, everybody, welcome to the show. This is episode four of Real Housewives Ultimate Girl Trip, season one, Kai. Now if you're wondering, hey, how come they're just on episode four when there's been five episodes released? Why aren't they doing episode five? Guess what? Because Brava's trying to fuck with us, okay? They're constantly trying to fuck with us.

Like, can we have a moment? They gave us a little time off for Thanksgiving. We took the time off and then they surprised or released another episode. So we tried to catch up last week and Aguaswet. We're not caught up at all, are we? We're not caught up and we're just not going to be caught up. That's what we've decided.

We're just going, we cannot keep up with the relentless pace of the housewives and the island baby. And so we are just like, we're on episode four. Next week we'll be on episode five. We're gonna cover all the shows in due time, but you know, it's a streaming show, that's just the nature of recapping streaming shows.

And so, you know, we're here. I actually, so Ronnie, I watched this episode a week ago from today, actually, and I took all the notes, and I cannot remember anything, and it will all come back to I cannot remember anything and it will all come back to me as we talk about it but like everyone will have to forgive me if I like fully am like cloudy on certain things at first and then they will come rushing back

to me I'm sure but you know that's just like what island life is like. I'm the island baby Fiva! I've had like a I've had a thanks, I basically was like, Ben and Thanksgiving, baby! It do my turkey, Phoebe! Phoebe! So that Thanksgiving binge, it starts and then it just gets worse every time. Like I'm really starting to understand

food addiction and what it means. Like the first day, okay, I'll have a little pot. Okay, all I had to make for my family thing, all they asked for was mac and cheese, simple enough, right? Nope. No, I made mac and cheese, corn bread muffins, pop over parmesan bites, cheese cakes. I made a pumpkin cheesecake and a plain cheesecake and I made like little mini ones, little muffin

tens with a cracker crust. And then last night, it's like, I haven't had enough, so I made Focaccia bread, because I really wanna get good at making Focaccia bread. Why? I need to lose 100 pounds. Why am I practicing Focaccia bread? Why?

I'm right there with you. I was just gonna make turkey, stuffing, and sweet potato, you know, sweet potato casserole. And then I'm like, well, I really should at do an apple pie too. So I do an apple pie. And then I'm like, well, maybe I'll make some pharaoh that's something, you know, there's a made a pharaoh. And then I'm like, well, I really should that do an apple pie too. So I do an apple pie. And then I'm like, well, maybe I'll make some pharaoh, something, you know, there's a made a pharaoh.

And then I'm doing this gravy thing. And it's like, you know, I think both of us both really enjoy cooking. And we enjoy cooking for people. So I think that's part of it. But like, wow. It is like that food thing. Like, you don't even get the pay off

because everybody brings something for Thanksgiving. So there's so much food. Yeah. You know, That's a bounty. I guess that's the point, you know, to be wasteful, you know, Americans or whatever. But there's so much food. It's like, I always feel like nothing is eaten, you know? It's like, I make all this food and I'm all resentful. And my sister had to be like, well, but nobody really ate each other's food.

Like everybody had a bite of everything, you know, that's the point. Right. And then you're stuck with the leftovers for days and days. Like, you know, that's the point. Right, and then you're stuck with the leftovers for days and days, like, you know what I have for breakfast yesterday? I had stuffing with an egg on top. So like, I'm just, it was delicious, but I'm like, you stuffing, I'm like, turning stuffing into every meal, like, you know,

it's like stuffing for dessert, because stuffing, it doesn't even sound healthy. There's like no way in which stuffing could ever be healthy. I mean, the name of it, stuffing, you don't, stuffing does not speak of, of, losing weight, okay? Stuffing literally implies you're just plumping yourself up and I'm just stuffing.

I'm literally stuffing myself every day. Yeah, I'm delicious. Okay, so speaking of stuffing ourselves, just kidding, nobody eats here. Let's go to real house ones of ultimate girls trip episode 104 so this opened up with like a little cute French scene with Luan and Michael flirting and there's like a French song playing and I have a question for my French people out there. Why are you guys obsessed with girls who sound like they're 10 years old singing songs? Like every French song.

I hear it's like, Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, Oh, so I like it. Oh, that's right. But, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, be jeu, be jeu, be jeu. You know, it's, you're right. It is like a very French thing to be, well, I feel like there's like three types of French songs. There's like, eat of pee off thing where someone sounds like they're slowly being sucked down

a toilet. Yeah. And then they're like gone under the, into the toilet pipes. And then there's like the, be jeu, be jeu, be jeu, be jeu, be jeu. Songs, and then there's like,... Pe-soup, Pe-soup, Pe-soup, Pe-soup, Pe-soup, Pe-soup, Pe-soup, Pe-soup, Pe-soup, Pe-soup, Pe-soup, and then there's like that French punk thing with like... Boom, je, je m'appelle Ben Mandelke.

Oh, yes. Fancy rapping, I call it that. Yeah, French rapping. Yeah, fancy, fancy rapping. What? So here we are with some Luan rapping or Luan French, which goes like this. That's what Luan's song sounds like in front, just like it sounds in English. Yeah, it just sounds like a certain cycle of the drive, like a drier, you know, or a washing machine, you know. So then, so Luan is, Michael and his mom are in the kitchen because the mom is the chef of the villa.

And Luanne's like, oh, Bonjour, J'ai pas français. Oh, what are we eating here? Because it looks like it might be a little hot in the terrace, but she's saying it all in French. And Michael's like, that chord, if you want to eat inside, we can do that. She goes, well, I see it's already done. So, oh, look at me flirting about eating outside or inside. Ha! The art of flirting is almost extinct.

And I love that Michael is perfected his art. Ha! And then we see their examples of flirting, which are, you know, herbossing him around. And then a clip of him trying to say sexy in French and her not understanding the word. And then Teresa going, I'm just marrying her. Yeah. And then also, I want to point out that she's like flirting with him. And Michael is like, oh, he says, well, at 11 o'clock, the taxis are coming and taking us down to the buggy. And so we're going to have some land towards you.

Oh, what fun. And she's like flirting. And she's just said that he's keeping the spirit of the art of flirting alive. And he's like, so we have some taxis coming. And then we have a sushi chef that's going, oh, that's flirting. You just out of control, Michael. Stop. Stop. We have a sushi chef that's gonna oh oh that's learning just out of control Michael stop stop Ma'am I need you to assign for this FedEx package

Floor you massive flirt of course. I'll give you my number. Oh Michael let the games begin She's like fully like she's fully flirting and his mom is right there like My son has wife you know this right? Yeah, so Let's get to party started and then can you feed on a party fever? I wrote can you feel the island feta? That's what it was I Which I kind of like I would love that yeah, I love that I wouldn't fed up before it is so good.

Get the island fed up. So, oh, stop your flirting music person. Oh my god, I can't stand. Oh, every time I go to a cheese counter, I just ask for some feta. Everyone has to flirt with me. You know, I was walking around to TJ Maxx the other day. And the Meckinor came on the radio and I said, you know what,

Meghan Trainor, stop flirting with me. It's all about that pace. Ha ha! This flirting everywhere you go. And they said, okay, cash your leavens opened up and I said, how about you stop opening up enough flirting cash here? Am I right?

Self check out, it's not masturbation right here. Stop flirting with me, self-checkout. Anyway, we're crazy today. So it's day for 9.32 a.m. I'm glad we knew exactly what minute was for this. And Kyle's, it's like it's too bright for Kyle and Teresa's opening up whenever he's crossing the line. Teresa Teresa's opening up on every time it's Beverly Hills In my town we don't wake up to this brightness So Teresa's opening up a card from Louis like I'm gonna go to Ramona's room and Teresa is so one of the people, one of these people who knocks by saying, mag mag. While she's knocking, she's knock on the door, okay?

We know what you're trying to say, okay, it's not a foreign language. Exactly, mag mag. So Teresa invites Ramona for a walk and we're like, oh my God, the cards, let me hear about the cards, Kai. So then we cut over to Kenya who she is like she's just I think she's out on her balcony whatever trying or she's talking to Luan

she's like she used to find out who was blasting music out of their speakers last night when we were like well probably Ramona she's the queen of putting the music on blast she's blasting the music I'll tell you what that is not flirting you're my right my cool am I right wing wing and matchy likes to play Perry Como while she scrolls through screenshots of page six stories about a Rex husband who tries to cry. So it was probably her. It was probably her.

And Ken is like, I don't think this was her type of music. This was rap. And then we go back to Ramona. And she's like, whoa, three, three, three, four, I love that color on you. What is that baby skin? So pink like skin on a baby. It's like a really old looking baby. I'm like a young looking baby like a real one. Oh my god Read me a card already. We need God Such a sick okay, uh, this is the first one that Louis gave me. It's just oh my god

Look how pretty with all the kisses he wrote on that. Look at all the kisses, okay. Well, I'm gonna read this, okay. The person who loves you more than anyone else in the universe, X-O-X-O, who's Sakso? I don't get it. Well, all those kisses. That was me actually. I got me a horny farm, right? All right, you know what? Just go to the next car. And Teresa's like, yeah, I'm just showing these to Ramona's because I think Ramona's a little lonely and I feel bad for her. And then it's Ramona side by side confessional and she's like, I would love for a man to break me up. Let us have your date. What's going on? I think that Ramona needs some vitamin D in her life, you know, you know, get it?

Because vitamin D like, knock, knock, knock, it's a penis. That would melt a little out. This is Dave. That's the thing for one. It's two little cats. And it says, you get me the the chills all over I want to battle with all over the fuck. You know what? I can read it. Okay. Just please stop talking my brain sticking out of my ear. Okay, old baby. I don't understand. I love that. It's two little cats and they say you give me the chills all over. I want to cuddle

with you forever. I don't understand the like the gimmick with that. I don't understand the punchline or the word play in that car. It's just like three separate concepts just strong together in a card. And I was like, what? This is so, so beautiful. Okay, it's two cats. One of the cats a little cold. You know, the cat wants to cuddle. Okay, because that cat is emotionally needy because didn't get enough affection from its cat father okay i love the story here. Yeah and then after night i got day five day six day seven day um eleven eight eight

night night. You know what i've gotten to know you and I think that you're like a beautiful person inside now and like I think that you have like so much love to give and like I know you're going to find it and I know you want I want to give you like energies and like you're going to find that love because I did like I never thought I find love but guess what? Love came knocked knocking for me, knocked knock. Yeah, you know, I went from learning to make a dildo out of a screwdriver from a woman named Paco at Camps to find in the love of my life. You won't throw him on.

She's like, whoa, you know what? I'm ready. I am. I am. You know what? So I did put out in the universe of what I want. Someone who's in this fifties, someone who's somewhere retired, someone who doesn't hold a crudge, someone who can hold me night and I'm crying and begging God to be Jewish, someone who's older. Okay, how are you gonna say someone who's older when you just said someone in his 50s? No, someone who's children are older, whose children are older. Oh, okay, I was like that's some Theresa math you're doing.

Yeah, that's what I want. Someone to hold me, someone to love me, someone to tell me I'm alright, okay? So then Theresa is like, what about John's? What about John's? Like maybe you should let me, maybe you should let him know, like just like, how come you, just be like, how come you're not with someone and see what he says.

Yeah the restaurant owner who's like trying to bone everybody he sees on camera sounds sounds like a solid choice to reason thanks. The guy who escaped whatever in the US to live like a Peter Pan lifestyle in Trixine Kiko. Sounds great. And she has taken slow Zora Mauna and we're one that's like you know what I need to let him know I can live anywhere. You know what? I need to bring, yeah, that's moving slow. Okay. That's moving slow.

I can live anywhere. I need to bring that up in conversation. She goes, yeah, put it out there. Actually, now, like now, I say, when he says, would you live, I say, I don't even know right now, okay? And she starts scrunching her hair. You know how she does that thing? She starts like, shimming one shoulder and scrunching her hair.

She's like, I should keep a toothbrush in your bathroom. So I can brush my teeth in the morning while I polish the wedding ring. You're about to give me a guy anywhere we did. Look, I don't even know where I live. Look, I have my clothes wrapped up in a binel with a stick and I just get on a train and I just try to ride the rails as far as I go.

I don't know where I'm going, but I sure know where I've been. Okay. And Luanne downstairs is going, girls, let's go. And Michael says, we have to leave soon. Just I know that's why I'm yelling. Let's go in English. Lert.

How about less flirting and more breakfast serving? If you know what I mean, okay. So, um, so then the girls all gather for breakfast and Kyle starts Kyle starts telling a story about Teresa taking it. She this is a classic how I think where she basically insults Someone but she wraps it up in like isn't this a cute funny story and she's like oh my god the other day Teresa was taking a big an hammock and she's like, oh my God, the other day, Theresa was thinking of picking a hammock, and she goes, Louis loves hammocks. Ha ha ha ha.

She's basically mocking Theresa for being an idiot. Yeah. And Louis, I was like, well, I had a conversation with my, oh, by the way, I have to point out Kenya. To Kenya is just so Kenya. I think she's really enjoyable, first of all, on Ultimate Girl's show. I'm really liking her. But this is just so Kenya's personality. So she's really enjoyable, first of all, on Ultimate Girl's trip. I'm really liking her,

but this is just so Kenya's personality. So she's standing on the balcony and she's got sand in her shoes. So she takes her shoe and she just pours it over the balcony and then she yells down, if someone finds a sock down there, it's mine. Okay, you know people are down there,

you just dump sand on their head. Fuck is wrong with you. So back at breakfast, Louan's like, hmm, is anyone else's eggs just a bit sandy this morning? Anyway, I had a conversation with my guy and to loom this morning. See, I really only try to date men who live in places that my name is in, like to loom.

Anyway, he's coming my way to the Hamptons, which I really wish was called the Loomtons, but didn't really catch on when I tried to sign a petition for it. I've always wanted a Latin lover, and now I have one. There are no strings attached, and it's easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl. I think it's important people enjoy their sexuality and have sex. It's very good for the soul. You should have sex as easily as you sing.

Old man river Well what I'm trying to say is I want to have sex with Michael. Did I say that I'd love sorry anyway? I I want to take my two-moon man to something exotic and Swanky and Which reminds me you guys went and saw Erica Jane in Chicago, right? Talk about exotic and swanky. Chicago and Erica Jane. Am I right, everyone?

Like when she said, I want to do something really exotic and sexy or in swanky. Cargas. Has he seen your show? And she goes, because no, we hasn't because of COVID. And Carna says, Oh my God, that's the same as Erica in Beverly Hills, which is kind of like here, but not at all. God, I'm from Beverly Hills. And she goes, well, that's not an easy role,

playing Roxy. And Cynthia goes, well, Neenie did it and Candy did it. We've got some talent in Atlanta. Okay, not denying that you have talent in Atlanta, but no, they did not do it. They did Chicago, but they did not play Roxy. They both played at Mama Morton. Thank you. Get your role straight. Well, that's funny that you say that, Rondle and other people who are watching, because

they did ask me to play Mama Morton. Well, actually now come to think of it. I think I was just asked if I wanted to coup on for Morton Sea Salt, but either way, I still was involved with something called Morton. So I looked this up because I didn't remember what the end to this story was when it came up on the reunion because she had said she was going to do Broadway. Yeah, it was like a whole thing. So I looked up the story and basically they did offer her the role. It was true that they offered her the role, but it was subject to vocal coaching. Like she had to actually let go of a vocal coach and she said it was too much work

because she had to rehearse too much. So she ended up saying, I thought that what happened was that she jumped the gun on the announcement and she was like, well, I'm gonna be in Chicago. And then they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and then they like rescinded it and then like, is it that they like sort of like made it, they sort of like softened the blow by saying, oh, there was like a scheduling, a scheduling issue, or am I just making up lies? Well, all the story, there were multiple stories, of course, it's always one story that everybody copies,

you know, but it was, I think on page six and it said that the offer was subject to vocal coaching and she had to come to all the rehearsals and she was like, I'm too busy, I'm sorry, I can't do it. Yes, you know what, you live in a roundhouse, you get around, so sorry, I can't be there. So speaking of the nameings, is your friends what has sent you? Your friends with that nameings, right?

And she's like, well, that's not something I'd like to talk about, but I was friends with her and we had a contract. She broke the contract and I tried charging her $8 for the phone that she never returned After she broke that contract and I've learned it's better not to give iPhones to Neenie Still had that Neenie leaks a satellite dish and Waiting for her to take her back, but it's fine. So she's like, I'll always have a love and respect for her, but I'm fine with not being

friends with her. And then she tells us that what I've learned from my relationship with Nini is that communication is key. And with Kenya, the energy seems rad and I don't know what's really going on. That's tough. I mean, I survived Nini. I don't know if I can survive Nini and Kenya. That's a lot. Well, stop being friends with these women,

with these, like, outsize personalities that are really varied, like, all about themselves. For real, get hurt as much. It's like a storm chase or getting mad that they just got hit in the head by a flying cow. You know what I mean? Stop chasing the storms. It's like when Helen Aunt and Bill Pax

and went into that burn full of saws during a tornado. Like you got to think about that. Yeah. So Teresa's like, yeah, it reminds me of you and Mimi with me and Jacqueline, because me and Jacqueline's, we were friends before the show. And I never would have crossed her. And she crossed it me. She crossed it me. And then we see the clip. The clip. So Jack of treason, but you put it in the tabloid and you was going through legal issues, but I never asked you questions and Jacqueline going, but mine wasn't criminal. And I didn't file fraudulent bankruptcy like you did and Theresa go, I see that's a low blow right there.

Low blow. God, I kind of had forgotten about Jacqueline. And so it's sort of like it's oddly exciting, not exciting, but it was funny to see her on this like all-star show. Like because Jacqueline is like, I would actually say that Jacqueline's a lower to your housewife to me. And so just seeing her again, it's like,

oh yeah, we used to have Jacqueline in this Bravo universe. So then, so Teresa was so hot broken about Jacqueline. Like what is it about, I mean, I'm sorry. What is heartbreaking about not having Jacqueline in your life anymore? Like really what the Jacqueline helped offer, really? Well, she was just heartbroken that Jacqueline brought up all her legal issues on TV.

She's like, I was so hurted. And since he's like, that is devastating because me, me, me, me, me, we talked 30 times today. And when we played, who's the prettiest she would always pick me I'm sorry you said that cloud. I'm not talking to you right now And she's like me and I told me and I told you talked to nini every day also No, Jacqueline Jacqueline talked to nini every day. No, I talked to Jacqueline and nini. No, neither of them Okay, child too much. Anyway, we just had that and we had something

That's over now and trees is like yeah, we used to talk for hours And I don't understand why and I'm like She's saying I don't understand I'm assuming she's saying I don't understand why she would do this to me But I also like the idea that she didn't understand why they talk for hours. I Couldn't stop myself. I just talk. I don't know why I'm talk. So it kind of like the problem with relationships on these reality shows, is that the women sometimes care more about the audience things than what their friends think. And that's rich. That's rich.

Come from Kyle. Of all people. Some of these women, some of these women care too much about the audience. So Teresa says, yeah, the show does put pressure on you, but only if you allow it. So for relationship, go, Sawa, it's not the show's fault. It ends up exposing people for who they is. And sent these like, well, what happened with you and Magdalene? Jacqueline! Right, Bushian Chicago. Nah! Exactly, exactly.

Exactly my point. Uh-oh. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap that's come. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on. Someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown Aller, we will be your resident not so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone.

So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Well, she brought up my legal stuff and she probably never thought I'd never bought that up in a national TV and she was like my best friend. Like have you ever talked to someone and they're just like blink blink and then you're like blink blink like that's like

two friendship and like hey you're close to Erica right like hey Kyle if she tells you don't bring up my legal stuff you're not gonna bring it up on TV right and Kyle's like um like her Tom is just going like back and forth on her lips uh uh it's like a matcha no it's like ttang ttang ttang back and forth on her lips. It's like a match. It's like, back and forth and everybody's staring at her and her eyes get really wide. She's like, but, it's like everyone knows what they went through and so it's going to come up.

So I just ask questions that will like give her a chance to explain her side. You know what I mean? Which is funny because that is exactly what she does. So whenever she says, Oh, I totally confronted Erica Jane. I don't know why everybody's saying that I didn't. Well, because of what you just said. You're asking your leading questions right

that are gonna kind of exonerate her or help her in some way. Exactly. Well, first of all, I love that like when first of all, Teresa's like, well, you would never do this to a friend, right? And she's like, no, although, because girls, of course, I would wanna make someone

have to feel the heat for a little bit, but heat in terms of not like I'm gonna press you, and I'm gonna let you exonerate yourself, but she's also Kyle's whole thing is that she stirs up shit and people have to talk about it when they don't wanna talk about things. It's like a mix. It's a mix of both her wanting to put people on the hot seat, but also not wanting to press them.

Right. So, Lewand's like, wow, this is a great topic because we know it's out there. So how much can we guard our friend? And how do I make this about Tom? That's a question. No. So Cynthia's like, well, you know what? I just, I know when it's coming, I know it

because I feel the red dot on my head. And it's better to just, you know, it's better to feel it than just getting your head blown off. You know what I mean? I don't see no red dot on your head, huh? Is it target? Don't do that. That's a poopy-assians, all right? You can't trouble me. It's a poopy A.C.N.s. All right. You're kind of trouble. I just took my nap for that one.

So Lohan finally gets her moment. She finally sees her opening. So when Cynthia says, you know, you don't want to, like you, you at least want to see her coming. You don't want to just be blindsided. I was like, like I did with Bethany. And I'm not just talking about that time. She stole my haircut without telling me. You know, she showed me a picture on a camera that I was not expecting that my husband was seeing someone else. It was terrible, absolutely terrible. And we see a clip of that. Emma, this is like so. You're saying that Bethany should have told you first, like, I have this picture.

She goes, it broke my heart. I mean, she said she was my friend. That is not my friend and she tells us that Bethany has an agenda and is to always have the spotlight on her it was always about her never about me I said spotlight where's the spotlight oh thank you ah could you could you believe it girls she brought us to Mexico for a cast trip and didn't even take us to to Lume you know where she took us to to Bethany and I was like, you know, this is really competitive now Am I gonna get that spotlight all the levels of all we've seen that it says

The spotlight doesn't work in the daytime. Well, I do Sometimes you're happy and sometimes you said But the world goes wrong. It's a crazy that I was listening to that while I was prepping my turkey over Thanksgiving. No, I mean isn't that just a perfect thing to be singing to a turkey after you just murdered it and are stuffing its ass full of stuff you're gonna eat out of it later. I was listening to the world goes round the musical review, the canternet musical review

while I was making that turkey. That's what that was that you were just singing, right? Yeah, it's a classic. I was like stuffing the turkey while listening to like, problem with a Walter Dei and a puppy. Which is actually very much like a I can totally see I can see really anyone on this cast stating that like we'll tell you what the problem with the world today is coffee and paper cup can believe it.

So Luanne is like well I'm glad that Bethany showed me the picture but not on camera because it was tough for the whole world to see it. And she tells Cynthia, you would never do that. She goes, never, I was your wedding. She goes, well, you're a good human and good humans don't do that. Now, hold on one second. Let's call Ramona in here and remind her that she wasn't at my wedding, but you were Cynthia.

Oh, good humans. Oh, so they start getting ready to go out for the day and Ramona is just near me or talking to herself. Wow you know what? I'm like fair faucets. Woo! Woo! I'm like one of Charlie's ghosts okay? Charlie's angels. What? I don't want to stand. Okay. So it's time to go explore the, they're gonna go explore the islands today as Melissa's, Melissa Goura, cause day and she's like, so I decided we're gonna start off

going on a buggy tour, cause like I'm like, I don't wanna just sit here and be pampered. I wanna get to see the island. I'm like, oh, Ballgett, Melissa, you're the most pamperable person. You're so pampered forward. Of course you wanna be pampered.

Yeah, but it's also so Melissa that have bug buggy day like, wow, we get to ride around odd vehicles on a street. Thanks, Melissa. Wow. Wow. Housewives on the island. Wow. Baby, she's like her little.

You're telling me that I get to drive myself. Thanks. Thanks, Melissa. Oh, how fun. It's like driving a car, but smaller and more dangerous. Thanks. Thanks, Melissa. Oh, and I have to put on a helmet over my perfectly Gua Tear. So they they're all getting into the vans and Cynthia Cynthia saying how she's like really glad because she's getting to know Ramona and she is like and she's like, yeah, I mean, like we're cool. Not like uncle and we're gonna be like, I'm going to say not like all Uncle, please, if you're going to quote me,

get it right, bitch. You're close, you were close. And Cynthia's like, yeah, that's why I think I'm gravitating to Teresa. I remember, and I go, yeah, because you know what, she's in love too. Cynthia goes, yes, I'm very much in love. Yeah, you know what, Trees is going to put that energy

out for me and you too, the wind next. It's like wow yeah. Theresa and Cynthia are really winning in the men department. You know what the win? It's our turn next. Okay. Yeah, I know. You can't spell to loom without abbreviating turn and then saying

Lou when there's adding an M at the end of it. Am I right everyone? Yeah. Oh, so Kyle is singing. Woke up in the ball morning thinking of so many things So like what's the words? I just wish things forget that I drink us. Oh It's tricyca's yeah, I'm like that sounds familiar I'm like what other song was Kyle possibly singing and injuries as mine. It's like

Yeah, I love that song. I love that by Madonna. Is that all right? Three if G is song of course is G a song who would have ever know the G is song would have gone spiral for an instant We got will Smith covering it and other stars such as And it's like so amazing and now we got Kyle's and Melissa singing it. Whoa, we'll Smith the Kyle and Melissa. Wow. But Teresa will not sing it. She refuses to sing it. So then, um, Kyle is, uh, Kyle is saying, um, you know, we see things on the show and this and that. And they, you know, when you think like, can you just gonna be all shady, but you know what, can you? You aren't so lovely. I love you. And can you just like, oh, I love you too, Kyle.

I mean, you're just so wonderful. I mean, you are definitely the prettiest one here. And you know, like sometimes people on these shows, like, they just try and make you look bad. You know, Kyle, really? You of all people, like if this was anybody else, I would be like, okay, who has ever tried to make Kyle look bad? Nobody, literally nobody has ever tried to make Kyle look.

Kyle. You're in there. When? I'm sure if you go back, Vanderpump has at times done things that he really ate Kyle. Let's be honest, Vanderpump loved fucking with Kyle, but not like the way Kyle does Let's be honest, Vanderpump loved fucking with Kyle, but not like the way Kyle does with like Sutton, for instance,

Sutton, see what you were saying before to Erica, say it Sutton, say it Sutton. Yeah, I mean Kyle, please. So Kenya's like, well, that's my whole issue. It's like a consensus. Like, let's just keep making me the villain. Yes, Kenya, you never do anything. It's all in people's heads. That you're the villain. making me the villain. Yes, Kenya, you never do anything. It's all in people's heads.

That you're the villain. You are the villain. And she's like, but I have to tell you, like I know how you feel about LVP. So I'm not commenting on that part, but when she put you out of that house, it's like, that is commenting on it. But please go ahead, because I love this.

Yes. And then we see the good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good,

a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, a good, as the new bi-fully show. They're just saying it because they just get annoyed by you. Yeah, goodbye Kyle is the new you saw. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, so Kenya is like, you stood your ground and you didn't back down and kept saying what your treat was. I saw both sides, you know, which was Kenya's way of saying, like, I was on Lisa's side, but I'm gonna say something nice for you because I just had something nice about me.

But since you're the only one here, I'll be nice to you. Yeah. So, Kyle's like, yeah, I mean, I was friends with her and everybody just kept saying, like, you know that she does that, Kyle, you know that she calls and sells stores. You know that she does. And so we see a clip of that. And, um, Kyle's like, you know, I mean, I'm not gonna lie to them. So, I was like, I can't even, like, I'm just gonna talk about it.

You can accuse me of being a lot of things. But a liar is not one of them. It's just me and Brandy Glendale, too, of the most truthful people you've ever met in your life. So they get there and. Hello, I'm marvelous, Marvin. Man, so he's doing the whole tourist guide thing or he's like trying to be all fun and charming

But nobody's really into it because he's making them worry helmets and there yeah, he's like everyone has to worry Helmand they're like oh god Seriously, they're of course they have spent forever making their hair look perfect And then I have to put a helmet on top of it which will dent it and ruin it and all that stuff and Kyle wants to wear wants, Kyle is in a heel and they're all laughing at Kyle wearing a heel for to go buggy driving. And so the women are just like furious and molasses like,

so are these helmets sanitized and he's like, uh, yeah, sure, sure, I'll tell you, there's, I don't know. Yeah, well I couldn't have picked an uglier helmet than a lineup. It's definitely not dear. So Teresa's like, uh, when should go shopping, right? And so basically they just get on and will wear a lot. Yeah, is it driving over Benadipiels and just skidding off the island and uh,

everyone was like, you know what, with all the doth flying and the druth, rather just be on the beach or Kai, because you know what, one thing I don't do on the beach is wear a mask or a helmet. I don't wear helmets on the ocean or Kai. Don't wear helmets on the ocean. And Kenyah's like, oh, she says,

can you put this in jeopardy multiple times by cutting us off? And then we see clips of Kenyah just just like driving like crazy and texting while she's driving Which is hilarious? And I'm like I don't know what she was thinking she almost killed us. I'm like you guys are driving boggies like 20 miles per hour Also, did you notice one of my favorite parts of this? Luan like Luan hates this activity. She hates that she has to wear the helmet

She hates that she can't be in a bathing suit and so so she's driving. And she kind of like rubs up against the branch. And the branch like scratchers, she goes, fuck, she just like screams it so loudly. But they of course don't, they, why do they beep it out by the way? Why this is a streaming show. Shouldn't everything be unbeaved? Shouldn't be uncensored. I don't know. I don't know how the peacock works, honey. So then Melissa is talking, oh, so they go sit down for lunch. And Melissa's like, be uncensored. very a thug guy. You know what I put to get oysters. Okay, it's crazy. Most people have never even heard of those guys. I know. Okay, settle down Anthony Bourdain. No one is sitting here watching the housewives to like expand their palettes. No one is if anything, it's usually to make fun of what they're eating at any given place. So then they actually order. So I was like, okay, let me go first. Okay, I'm gonna have the peaking jock because that's this seems like a

place for authentic peaking duck right here. Okay. I was giving my order Ramona, please allow me to finish. She's like, whoa, okay, can you okay? I'm gonna say, well, Ramona, do you want to share the duck and the smash burger? It's like, that's too much. Okay. It's like the way the, the smash burger is the best burger in the house. Okay. Why it over there? There's already too much discussion about this menu.

We had a meta discussion and then we had a fish taco thing that went awry with Kenya like too much. Okay. The way it was, it smashed me, that's what I heard. You float, you float. Everyone floats here, it feels like I'm back in Tulum. So Luan goes, girls, I brought this game, it's called The Good, The Bad, and the Ramona. I'm sorry, the ugly.

So what are your thoughts on The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Being Housewives? Reality television, all that good stuff. All right, let's play you. I was like, I don't want to pick the ugly being housewives. Reality television, all that good stuff. All right, let's play you. I was like, I don't want to pick the ugly, I have daughters. So. Can we not say ugly, it's a triggering word for me. Also, you can totally tell that Luan got this from Cynthia. Luan did not sit down and write all these cards out.

Cynthia did this. Like Cynthia probably put in her leftovers from the day before, or the couple days before and half of them overture. Well, Lewand probably had a first draft where every question was like, okay, let's say you're about to go on stage and five bitches come into your dressing room. How quickly can you pick them out?

Let's say, let's say that you have a picture of Tom making out with someone that's not me. Would you show me? Okay, question number three. Would you get the yacht if you could get the yacht and would you sell the yacht into an area where people know you're music? Question four. Whose hair was it first?

Mine or Bethany? My name is Max. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist.

I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist.

I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I'm a great artist. I in a great situation like I am with Mauricio and they're thinking it's a way to get independence and there's already cracks and then it crumbles unlike me and Mauricio who are super strong and staying together forever partially because we only surround ourselves with other great couples.

I think that's how that's what happens. I think one of the secrets to her relationship too is that she actually works with her husband like she's named on the ownership of the agency and that's very smart because this show made them really rich together. I mean, they really wielded the show for power, you know. I'll tell you, nothing is better for a relationship than both living together and working together. Oh God. But you know what I mean, because she owns part of the business, and they were able to build this empire, I think, by being on the show.

Because every housewives person knows the agency, you know? Everyone does. So Kyle's basically like, it doesn't ruin the marriage. You came into the show with problems to begin with, and if you come in like that, I give you one season, two tops. And you know what, she's, I don't think she's actually wrong,

but I just like the implication that GM RISIO never had problems, and that's why they're doing so well. Like they've survived because they are the perfect couple. It's also so bitchy in front of so many people who got divorced while they were on the show. Exactly. It's so city. So we all got divorced.

Yeah, well, me and Joe, one time on the show, we had a real argument. It's like, well, that's so Melissa and Joe, right? That that, well, me and Joe, one time on the show, we had a real argument. It's like, well, that's so Melissa and Joe, right? That that's actually a thing that's like one time it was real. And then, you know, and then the Twitter starts and then the Insta starts and then my heart drops, you know, because I just don't want to affect our relationship. And Teresa's like, I thought I had a perfect life. Oh, geez.

Here we go. It had a perfect life. My God, Jesus, here we go. It was a perfect marriage. And then it all came crashing down when I realized that wasn't getting cards every day. So then the producer asked Teresa if she went back in time, like, would she do the show again? And she's like, you know, I always get, so I'm done that question.

Oh wait, I thought you were asking me what a cat is. Okay, so I would say that my life is really good right now and I don't think I would go back. So I don't think I want to change a thing. Except I want to see my parents. And then so Lewins's like, so there's no bees here, right? And how it goes, oh my gosh. Lewins just, oh, was it Ramona?

Ramona. She says, yeah, Ramona is being out for me with bees because I'm allergic to bees yeah because the waiter brought some anti-bogue candles by and she said whoa there's no bees here right and three hours ago Kyle wanted to bring her Epi pen and Ramona was like you know wait you need to learn how to do this yourself okay fine I'll prick you with the Epi pen but like gotta look how to do this myself yourself. And then, Carl's gonna do it. What did you do to me?

I didn't even do it yet, Carl, jeez. Oh, so Cynthia's sorry, I was like, I'll take it. What a moment. We're all just like, remember when Ramona, like, that's so cool. I just think that's so cool. Oh, oh, she's like,

I didn't even do it, Kyle. It's just so Kyle. And now, so Cynthia's like, so, ow, ow. She's like, it didn't even do it, Kyle. It's just so Kyle, and now. So Cynthia's like, so, what good things came from the house was? Well, besides Bailey, I wear Peter's Brute, the Bailey Cute, the Bailey Agency School of Fashion, the Bailey Wine Cellar, Cargo Bags, the Seagrums, Peach Bellini, and large earrings

that say 50 and synth, I would say, meeting so many nice women. It's been great. Oh, thank you, Cynthia. That was perfect. Okay, next for the audition please. Lwanda, this is not an audition for your cabaret. Oh, sorry, sorry. When you're good to mama! Whoa, okay, here's mine. How do your kids feel about you being on the show? Well, that's so funny, because when my daughter, when she was 11,

and I looked 11, she said, whoa, whoa, whoa, how come I'm not on TV? I should be on TV. So when I got on the show, she said to me, I'm the one that's supposed to be famous, not you, and that was funny, because she wants to be famous, but I want to be famous. And in that way, we were like sisters. So she was like my daughter, but she was also like

my sister and my best friend. And we just like got along so well, okay? Yeah, you know what? It's like we're twins. Except when twin has charm, charisma, and talent and the other twin, that's, you know what? One twin had saved the other twin. Sorry, Avery, okay. One of us went on to become super famous and the other one of us went off to have a tantrum in yogurt land one day. Kai, that's just the way it went. So Melissa's like, yeah, well that's fair because most kids just want a mom. They don't want you all flashing these outfits.

And Lou says it depends on freedom of expression. And Keny says it depends on what you want to teach your daughters, which felt loaded, but, and kind of like I have daughters, and we know Kyle. We know Kyle. Okay, Keny, you're next. And Keny's like, so how do you- I just want to say, I'm sorry, this is Melissa Gorg,

I just want to say that most kids want a typical mom, and by typical mom I mean a cool mom. I'm a cool this is Melissa Gorg, I just want to say that most kids want a typical mom and by typical mom I mean a cool mom. I'm a cool mom guys Okay, how have you been affected by comments on social media? Well, my first season was the hardest because I didn't know about social media Even now I rarely post and people say that I pay people to be my boyfriend I mean then one of the guys that I paid saw it and then so he was selling people that I paid him to be my boyfriend. I mean, then one of the guys that I paid saw it. And so he was selling people that I paid him to be my boyfriend. Finally, I paid him to stop being my boyfriend

and stop saying he was being, I mean, it just costs a lot of money. It costs a lot of money. My hand to God, I've never paid a man. I may have lent some money for someone to be on the show, but I've never paid a man, okay? I want the world to know that my daughter, at my daughter's, no, this is not real. I'm like, okay, so you never paid a man, so what you're saying is you hired someone, and then you didn't even pay him?

Oh, man. And she says, I wouldn't waste my time paying a man when I have a worldwide stage to find a man that can use me to make money. You see how that works? All right. All right, it's my turn. My turn, okay, I'm gonna totally pick something worldwide stage to find a man that can use me to make money. You see how that works? All right, all right, it's my turn, my turn. Okay, I'm going to totally pick something totally at random, not choosing this, knowing

exactly which one of these little sticks is a thing. Okay, what's the worst thing that happened to me on the show? Oh, well, I've been thinking about all the crazy horrible things that happened to me on the show. And in total, I think of this keeping your sanity, keeping your head looking in the right direction and just having an iconic hairstyle. That's just what the things you have to focus on, girls, right? Yeah, she just doesn't like trolls because they're just jealous. And other cast members who try to bring you down, they're just jealous too. And it's hard to keep level headed

in what we do and not let haters make your family suffer the worst part Staying alive is women today is knowing you're good enough and no mother fucker can tell you you're not Oh my god, I just flirted with myself And while she's saying this he's Margarita's arrived and the camera just lingers on them like several beats way too long Which is funny because the way I'm talking about what's hard about being on the show I think like the linger on alcohol so uh so then come and Kyle also says we need a support group my name is Kyle and I'm a housewife in Beverly Hills. Hi my name is Kyle and I'm a real housewife of this town. So then they go back to the villa and Melissa, of course,

has envy gift packages. I was wondering how long it would take for envy to show up. And God, I wish Kelly Benzimov was here to start sobbing about that. Who would have really triggered her? She would have lost her mind. And Kyle is talking about how she just went into the jacuzzi with Ramona, who was fully naked. I always see this shot of Ramona, just breast, let me just not breastless, topless, in the I ended to Coozy with her. She sort of has her hands up, but she's like, whoa, my breast, you're at the, I'll be heated if John walked in right now. God, that was so embarrassing. I'd be like, I don't even know where I'd live. I don't even know where my top, the top, my shirt lives anymore. Okay, I don't even know where

my shirt is. Okay. Um, and then we, Melissa's like, I've never been here. Like it's, oh, I've never even been up here. Like, oh my God, it's the second floor. It must be nice to have a regular bedroom. What is this like a hotel? And she tells me. Melissa, you were literally up there

in the first episode of the show when you were all picking rooms. Yeah. And Melissa says that they're gonna have a good old fashion sleepover and then we get a clip of her packing PJs with Antonia. And Antonia is like, um, those are what I would wear. You guys are like 40-year-old women. And Melissa goes, Antonia, we are hot women. She's like, mother. Cool mom, call me cool mother. So she goes in and kisses, you know, she's like,

oh my god, Kenya, you're the queen with the queens, Ram. You want to be a little like, and then she go and then we get a song party every day, party, party, every day, party, party, every day. And everyone gets in their pajamas. Yeah, it's gonna be a slumber party. And so Michael setting up like sushi and everyone's getting into glam and getting into pajamas and everything and Melissa loves this setup. She's like, this is so cute and Kyle is like, this is so fast off And Melissa's just walking she looks like a massage therapist. She's really I think she's trying to be like

like this a cute pajama thing, but like she just looks like she's there to rub everyone's backs. And they're gonna do a bunch of shots and play some silly games. I think the balloons blow away because the doors are open. So it's like, hi, Jinks. Oh my God, I love these paintings. It's stretchy. That's what I asked you about my lens.

Uh-huh. Are they supposed to be short? Are they supposed to be like this? It's like yesterday, so I ranked you about my length. Uh huh. Are they supposed to be short? Are they supposed to be like this? Just like yesterday. So I ran then they're good then they're good. They got that. Teresa, did you just cut two holes in Louise card and just put your feet in them like their shorts? Yeah.

I love these. These these cards. She's like flattering peanut butter on one and just digesting it. In just so. So Melissa's like, well,ing peanut butter on one and just digesting it. In just so. So Melissa's like, well, you're my first guest. I don't think Ramona is going to like this. She doesn't like to talk about sex. Ramona?

Oh, Jesus. Like Ramona doesn't like to talk about sex. Come on. So Ramona comes in and she's like, me God, what's going on down here? I feel like I'm 16 again. Finally, I feel the way I look, right? Maybe I'm 13. Remember, like, I mean, God, what's going on down here? I feel like I'm 16 again. And finally, I feel the way I look, right? Maybe I'm 13.

Remember this big thing. Whoa, slumber bodies. Whoa. So then Kyle meanwhile, it's going to bring it. She's, Kyle is like talking something about her clothes. I think like her dress line or something. And so she's bringing Kenya some dresses upstairs. She goes into Kenya's room and Kenya's crying.

And Kyle's like, oh my god, what's wrong? What happened? And Kenya's just crying because she's in the middle of the divorce and she just wants to be over. She's just having a moment, right? And she's just saying how she just thinks that there's something wrong with Mark. Nothing's getting through them. So Kyle just starts to console Kenya and it's off camera, right?

Like the door closes and Kyle's just in there and we only can, we can only hear them, but we don't actually see anything. Right. And Kenya is saying that Mark, you know, they're going to this horrible divorce and it's almost over. And then he censored this text and he's like, I was just thinking about our first date and being those hopeful people. And she's like, the audacity.

We're in hell because of you. And so then Cynthia is walking down the hall. We keep getting shots of Cynthia slowly walking down the hall to the room. Yeah. And Kenya tells us that it wasn't a good marriage and she felt like she was going to stay in it for her daughter. But now she realizes that her happiness is her daughter's

happiness. And then Cynthia knocks and she's like, can I come in and Kyle goes, just camera with her. There's a camera with her. Yeah, exactly. Like Kyle answers the door and Cynthia's like, they're the cameras are there and Kyle's like,

she has cameras. I mean, of course she has cameras. I mean, Cynthia doesn't realize this is like a super private moment, but Kyle's happy to like, underline that, right? So can you just like, looks away like, no cameras, no cameras, please. Yeah, she's like, just shut the door. I don't want all this. So she goes in there alone and she asked what happened with Mark and Kenya tells her basically and Kyle tells us, we've only been here for four days and you know, some people you know, years, and you don't trust them, but some people you feel like you've known for years

And I have that with Kenya You know, there's some people you feel safe with it's tends to be the people who are in Wonderful marriages that can survive any curveball the house. I've so with them And that's what I'm basically for Kenya and that's definitely not what Cynthia is so then Kenya is now like saying how she doesn't she didn't want anyone to know she's breaking down and she goes first in theater to walk in with Cameras I would have preferred to check in on me as a friend first. I'm like I mean that's what she was doing you guys are on a show those cameras everywhere every interaction is being filmed She doesn't know that you're bawling. She knocks because she wants to check in on you

I mean it's not like this is not the worst infraction in the world if you're on a show. It's shitty It's shitty. I think it's shitty of Kenya. Why is she being like that? Since you actually came to your room to see if you were okay and go down together, she was being nice. And they did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did?

They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They did? They So you're not supposed to just be able to say no cameras. Like who else gets to do that on these shows? Right. But can you do it all the time? Do you remember that time when she kicked all the cameras out of her house?

Yes. It's very rare. I think you get to do that. They'll follow you anyway. And usually this, usually by way, usually this whole thing about like the cameras were there. You didn't check in on me on a friend is usually when there's been an issue and someone hasn't checked in on their friend in a week

and then waited until they had a shoot date instead of calling them on the phone. But that's really not what happened here. This is literally like Cynthia walked out of her room and Kenya was in her room like upset. So she checked in on her. Like I was, I just think this was like not a fair accusation to be made at Cynthia.

Yeah, I do too. And yeah, Cynthia is being like kind of weird on this trip and needy because that's Cynthia. But I just, this is shit. I don't think she's being that needy to be honest. I think that she's being gaslit into being viewed as needy, but she's not really. I think that she has a friend and then her friend

is kind of like ditching her and she's kind of like what the fuck. And then it's like, oh, you're crazy. Look how need deep you are. You know, you're such a clinger. Yeah. So they keep talking about Mark and I'm so fucking sick of hearing about Mark. Oh my God, you did, you were together five minutes.

Get rid of the fucking guy. Okay. Choice is make better choices, man. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial. So then we see Luanne checking yourself out in the mirror. This is something we see a lot of on this show where Luanne sucks her cheeks in and then like paths the bottom of her hair. Mmm. Oh, yeah, you know what I suck my cheeks in. Oh, you know what you call that cheek flirting. Mmm.

Lost art. So she comes down in her PJs, but she's just like got her brand underneath. She's got it like tied up into a crop top and stuff. And they're like, whoa, Lou Ann, you look so sexy. Stop flirting with me, all right? You artists. I'm ready. So then sit, then Kyle and Cynthia come out of Kenya's room. And Kyle says her signature line, I feel so bad. She always says that after she's caused some shit. So, um, so Kyle thinks that, uh, that Kenny cares about him a lot still and Cynthia's like, yeah, he's not a bad guy, they're just not good together. Now Cynthia, this is where you're, I think that Mark is a bad guy.

I think he actually is a bad guy. He's a terrible guy. He's a terrible fucking human being terrible. And so she's like, well, can you but you know if you say that That's the other thing if she says marks a bad guy then she'll get in can you in trouble with can you for that too? Because they want to get together right what if can you get together? You know you'll always be the bitch who called him a bad person on TV or whatever. Yeah So Yeah, she basically says how they just like like the two of them can't figure it out and they're just maybe not meant to be together and that's between them and God.

So then they're talking about this, everything and we cut to her and I'm gonna go, I have a question. Do you guys have ginger that the sushi, okay? I want ginger. So Kenya comes down and I can you say, are these supposed to be short? Oh, it was her that says that not Melissa, not Teresa. And Melissa's like, yeah, she goes, oh, okay. So then the Butler brings some shots and a crazy

twister game to play with shots. So they have to bend over and pick up the shot with their mouth while they're on the twister board. Yeah, they're all stretched out and doing it. And, and, remote was like, you know what, if I vomit tonight, it's your fault on being serious, okay? Because sometimes I vomit out of my butt, okay?

So, by the way, Theresa, bending over and getting that shot glass with those gigantic inflated slips, surviving the glass, and then throwing it back was horrifying. It was like watching one of those claws picking up a stuffed animal at the arcade, right? If the claw was made out of a gigantic skin section made out of like a restful and or whatever it is, doesn't do lips. So So then

Poor Ramona. She's trying that you know that she has one foot on this color one foot on that color They're trying to get her to like bend down. She just can't do it Well, she's she basically was doing the bend mandal her She's like a cat to down like sorry. I can't do it So then she's doing it and then Kenya Kenya is like putting on a briefcase and she's doing she spells the vodka Clean up and oil number nine. Oh, God, someone write that, Ben, hold on one second. Ben, I thought a great joke for the cabaret.

It's called Clean Up and Oil Number Number. What we do is knock something over, Ben, are you listening to me? Ben. So then the boutler is like, Lou Ann, I'm gonna make this easy on you. I'm gonna put it in my mouth and lie down and then you can get it out of my mouth.

And she's like, oh, if you insist. And then that... Oh, shit, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, She is very sexy when she does it. She straddles him and then she like goes in for the shot and then she like Flings it back like oh Like flashdown style and she is like she I mean Luanne knows how to she she loves the art of seduction. I will give it to her I mean so then Melissa's like Joe would get in so much trouble and Carl Carl says, if that were Maritio, I would chop off his penis. Well, I told you, I like to play games. So now...

So there's... Sorry. Party music while they feel plates. I just thought that was very important to get in there. I like when they go to eat and it's like, Oh yeah, eatin' they never eat. California Rose Sushi on the island baby

So it's more games here we go with some more fucking games But this one's kind of funny because they have to put these Blastic things in their mouth like you do when you go to the dentist I guess and they lift your lips above your mouth. So you just look like Teeth which is easy. Yeah. This is an actual game you can buy it like target. I forget what it's called.

But so they're playing it, which is, it's kind of amazing that they're playing it because it's like a family game that you play with the kids, but they're, they're playing it. So they all have, they're all putting things in. And so Kenya, and then they have to say a phrase with their lips all kind of like extended out. So they're just trying to say, and can you just trying to say, I have a problem with, I know, can you just try to say old

bait and switch of the Rick roll, but she keeps on, she's like, date and switch on the dick on the Vic, you know, you had to be there. It was fun to watch it, then to explain it. Basically, whacking game. And then Ramona is cracking up so much trying to do her is that she piece herself, which is hilarious. And the camera chases her. I love that the camera's like, she's doing it. Like, they had a pre-production meeting where they're like,

if Ramona piece herself, get it on camera. People just love that. And she piece herself. And then, but she's cracking up, and they're all cracking up, and then Kyle's laughing. Kyle's laughing so hard that she winds up being her pants, too. And I have to admit, Ronnie, sometimes watching these

games on Bravo can just get like a long attitude, because it's always the same thing. But this one actually seemed, I actually enjoyed this because it felt like they were all truly enjoying each other's company and having really a fun time. And there was actually something I felt a little infectious about this experience that I was like, this is like, this is cool. This is like fun.

This is like real people having real fun. Yeah. So then the next game is Champaign Pong or whatever you call it. And Kenya's like, well, have fun on the losing team and Teresa goes, can you say that we had a losing team? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha game, his like mixed also with Truth or Dare or whatever. And the WAN is super, super competitive as she has been with every sport that they do. So she's, oh, so close. Why is it going to the right? Gosh, don't get it the cup. Oh my God, do it. Do over, do over. So Ramona, I guess to Ramona's now Ramona, all

night has been going, Oh my God, this game is going to be about sex, sex, sex, everything we do tonight to get to talk about sex, be disgusting. So now it gets to Ramona and The question is Ramona. Have you ever used food in the bedroom? It's just oh, yeah We used to use food in the living room like at the fireplace. We called it Knolly night because he likes Knolly So we put it on his penis. You know I'm a genius I've been betrayed by Kno you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I'm like, you know, I have to kill it now, but she meant the pong, but I thought she meant like, okay, please kill this story from me right now. Kill Ramona.

Kill Ramona before she tells me more about Canoli night. Yeah, well, they said the cream, but I'm wondering if Mario actually like fucked a canoli or something on Canoli. I mean, it's a weird story, right? It is a really weird visual. Yeah, so then, like,

pastry around his dick or? Yeah, I think he fucked the canole. So then Melissa's like, Joe's gonna be sad, Joe. Oh my God, okay Melissa. Oh God, she's like this even when it's not her own show. All her adjoes, like I'm so honny for you. I'm so honny for you.

And you know they fuck like once a year. Right. So then, so there's a you know they fuck like once a year. Right. So then, so there's a truth or German. There's a question. And it's like, if you were allowed to sleep with anyone you wanted, who would it be? So Cynthia chooses Lenny Kravitz. And Teresa's like, ah, only Louis.

And like, okay, come on, come on. She's like, okay, so I used to like a long time ago, but he don't look that good no more. Antonio Sebato Jr. I was like, damn. Poor Antonio. Well, I'm not going to say poor Antonio Sebato Jr. because it turns out he's like a really awful person. But I will say that was just a hilarious shading out of nowhere of Antonio's. I was about a junior's look.

I know like that no more. So then lose like Bradley Cooper. Cooper listen my private days are over. I'm getting a little more Sophisticated my taste man Well ever since I started incorporating some of his music into my show I'm in the shot of now. Tell me something, Michael. Have you ever been with a real woman? So Kyle's like, oh my god, you guys, what is this like after taking medication now? Like, oh my god, guys, like, I'm armor medication. And Cynthia says, what kind of girl strip is this? Which is a nice call

back to the real housewives of New York fight, a bunch of grandmas. And so it was like, you know, what have I had sex in public? Yes, the beach guy said some beats in public. That's the public's set. Because I was at a black tie at a table for 10, and I had sex with Mauricio at the table. And like, what? She was like, who likes that on his lap? And I was like, yeah, I'll get it. Because look, she was dancing, OK? Because that's how I dance.

Like, I'm sitting on a man's penis, OK? And I was like, money, care, boy, you class. Oh, they love my music. Stop farting with me. So Cynthia's like, who's not going to notice that? I mean, I don't know what kind of sex they had. And she starts bumping around on her chair. And I'm like, damn, Cynthia knows how they do it. I can guarantee you, Kyle does not fuck like that. I know. Cynthia has it going on. Kyle just probably sat there. And it was done. Yeah. And Melissa was like, I mean, how do you do that? Like what about the zipper? Like what? What's going on? So they just like have like a great night. And

then it's after dark. And so it's the sleepover edition. So Kyle, FaceTime's Mauricio and Kenya's like, I know way too much about you now. Oh, I know about you too. I just watched you on YouTube, compelling stuff. So Kyle's like, yeah, I was telling him about Vegas. They didn't believe me. And I tried to explain that I sat on your lap in this town, but they think I'm lying about it. He's like, oh, that was not a lie. I'll tell you what that.

And college goes, and it was all my idea too. Mm. But then Kenya's like, you know, I'm impressed. But in a short dress, like, if it was short, how were they at a black tie dinner, which I actually love that logic that Kenya used? Cause it's like, yeah, wait a second Kyle Yeah, I don't know now I'm trying to think about it how you're saying it and I'm like, I don't need to be thinking about that

So then Kyle basically just running around the house singing It was actually like a very chummy episode, but it chummed me in a good way. It was like, it was like very fun watching them interact. It was fun listening to them talk sort of behind the scenes. And I'm looking forward to the next episodes where I'm imagining everything's definitely going to go to shit. Yeah, everyone's like, oh my god, episode five. But I know after every episode that comes out, you know, I think it's just

such a good show. It is such a good show. I can't believe it. I'm excited to watch the rest of the next ones. All of all. All of the volumes everybody. Well, we will be back actually with another girl's trip. Actually, I don't know when soon. So everybody, thank you so much for being here. We love you guys. Videos, bonus episodes, crap and so on demand, et cetera. Watch at crapens.com. You can find our links for our Patreon, our ticket store live show, and all else, okay. We should love you. We

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