Watch What Crappens - RHUGT: Welcome to Your Elephantasy

Episode Date: March 29, 2023

Buckle up for elephants and drag names on the second episode of Real Housewives Ultimate Girls Trip (S3E2).Watch this recap with Crappens on Demand here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/crappens-on-2013-80725228See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. This episode is sponsored by Uber1. We've all used Uber for rides, and I love using UberEats for food delivery. Okay, hello. I mean, I kind of live off of it. But have you ever heard about Uber1? Uber1 is a membership that helps you save on Uber and UberEats. With an Uber-1 membership, you get exclusive member perks, like up to 10% off UberEats and a $0 delivery fee on eligible orders. It just makes sense. I'm always getting Uberes.

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What happens What crap What What What Happens when there's so what if Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappens, a podcast about all that crap on Brava that we just love to talk about.

I'm Ben Mandelker, joining me today is the one, the only, the hilarious and wonderful and special, Mr. Ronnie Carrham. Hi Ronnie, how are you? Aren't you sweet little Pete? Oh, thank you. How are you doing today? Good, I got this new light thing and it's like hanging on by a magnet and it keeps falling.

So, what if it does that? Sorry, you're remunny. I'm just trying new things over here, okay? Just trying new microphone setups new lighting setups Pulas trying new poses in the cameras you can see back there just saw spread out on the couch Get ready for his own fans. Yeah, it's a crap. It's on demand day So I get to see you and we could travel tomorrow some very excited I've got ants in my pants. I've been doing laundry. I've been sweeping random things

Do you do that before you leave town? Just start like, I want this to be clean when I come back. I'm gonna sweep this hallway. I do sometimes do that, because it's nice to come back to a clean apartment. And a lot of times I'm more inspired to do those things and actually do them, but it also helps that Dom is a tidy person. So he's usually sort of just kind of doing it

while I'm out of town. So yeah, no, I'm excited today. Today's an amazing day. I mean, I became friends with Jimmy Butler, NBA superstar. I feel amazing about that. I mean, he doesn't know it. I just, I had a dream that we were friends and I was one of those dreams where now I feel like we were friends.

So it's like a great day. Like I'm like, I'm having a dream. I had to say how do a famous person all as well with the world? No, I had a dream that Jimmy Butler was my next door neighbor and I was like, he's so cool. And then he like waved at me and I was like, oh my God, like, I'm like, friends with Jimmy Butler. Oh my God. So I'm like, just gonna coast. I'm basically Heather. I am Heather on Girl's Trip. Just like eyes wide open. Just so happy to be, I'm just so happy to be there in my dream. I was like thanks for having me dream Well, it's funny because yesterday

I'm really in a good mood today because yesterday we were talking about summer house and I got just got infuriated in the middle of that recap and was like fuck this show fuck these people My time is worth more that like I had some weird middle age thing where I was like, I could be doing something with my life instead of talking about summer house, like what the hell else am I gonna do? A, and B, it was like one or two bad episodes, okay? They deserve a bad season.

Anyway, I got so grumpy, and then after I was so mad at myself for being so grumpy, and I was like, Ronnie, you're such a lucky person, and you get to talk about this stuff. How dare you have the gall to start screaming about your job? And then enter Real Girls, Real Housewives, Ultimate Girls Trip, episodes two and three,

and everything was restored. Like, I believe in Jesus again. I was like, you know what? I'm back to Christianity, the show was so good. Yeah, episode three was particularly funny. That was actually the one that really restored me. Today we're talking episode two. Before we dive into that, as Ronnie mentioned,

this is crap is on demand. Go to patreon.com slash watcher crap and it's to be able to watch us. Very exciting. Also, you can go to watchercrapids.com because we are hitting the road. We're flying up to Seattle, Seattle, Washington because we're going to be recapping real housewives of New Jersey in Seattle at the Neptune Theatre. It's going to be wonderful.

We haven't been to Seattle since before the pandemic and there's going to be lots of people so we're excited for that. And then on Friday, we go back down to San Francisco to talk Vanderpump rules and perhaps address the most controversial controversy of our time. Should Katie keep a hotel room? I mean, this has really been lighting up the internet. I mean, this is what Propos all about.

So we're going to be going to both those cities with those shows this week. And April, we're going to Toronto, we're going to Philadelphia in May, we're going to New York and DC. And then in June, we have a billion shows before we close it all out at Fox Woods. So that is the schedule for right now.

Gonna watch what happens. These are gonna be big shows with lots of people. I don't think you're gonna wanna miss out. I think they're gonna be like really special all of them. So looking forward to it. And I guess should we just get on with crap, but not to me. Here's my warning for this.

We're doing Girls Trip episode two. I watched this many days ago, and I literally only remember bits and pieces of it. And so I will be refreshing my brain as I go through my notes today. And so it's going to be a wild ride for me to remember what the hell we're talking about. Oh, okay. Well, you know, we write notes. So that'll help too.

Yeah. But yeah, it is easy to get confused in girls' trip notes because like summer house, there's a lot of like, hi, what are you doing? Nothing. And then they're just walking down the hallway and we write extensive notes thinking, oh, big fights can happen. Yeah. Someone's going to get offended and then nothing can happen for 20 minutes and we'll spend

three hours on that and then by the end of it, we're tired. And then it's like time for the main fight and I'm like, I need a nap. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Episode three felt like every, every second of Episode three was like, was worth it. There was stuff happening at every second. I just remember feeling with Episode two, I was like, wow,

this is, this is pretty intense, but I don't know, maybe revisiting it, I'm going to be more excited. But I definitely liked the way it started, which was Leah lying on a pool float in the Infinity Pool. And then she sort of like forgetting that the infinity pool is just an illusion, because it starts to drift towards the edge and she like freaks out, and like dives off of her float before she tumbles off down a cliff. Well, yeah, she almost went over the infinity edge, you know, which,

I mean, listen, it's only two episodes in and I'm already remembering that was my dream for Leah. I mean, listen, it's only two episodes in and I'm already remembering that was my dream for Leah. Just to go on a vacation, get on a floaty, and just go off an infinity edge. And that would be, that would be the end. No more Leah's on guest starring. What is Leah doing on this show? What is she doing here?

But here she is, and guess what? Nature saved her. If I was God, I would have blown just a little bit harder. Yeah, just a little, a little gust. I don't know, I would have blown just a little bit harder. Yeah, just a little gust. I don't know. I think Leah has been a great, a great awful contribution to this cast. In the way that we all, we knew she would be.

She's like, petulant, she's bratty, and she's just like stubborn and in her own head. And that's what, you know, it works on this kind of show. Right. So Mary Saul is on the phone with Steve. She's like, hi, Steve. What's going on over there? And he's like, okay, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

All right, Steve, that's enough. All right, you can go back to the show tunes when we're off the phone, Steve. I've got thumping music in the background for an o-reason. Because they're playing like, is that Mary's Soul scene? Do we really need this tricks? Do we need this tricky botical? I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it.

I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it.

I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it.

I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. I'm gonna be the one who said it. and the common, can't be friends. Listen, Steve's about to watch that man run out of his hair. Can you take care of this? And Alexi is like, can you call Pepsi? Please call Pepsi. So, I'm not calling Pepsi. All right, I'm calling.

So, the people are like, Steve, the year's meal, babe, I gotta go. She won't let me be. I've gotta go take care of Alexi. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Um, and then, uh, Portia's ordering an omelet from Pepsi. See, this is, this is the exact sort of thing. Like, why do I write this down? Portia is ordering an omelette from Pepsi. See, this is the exact sort of thing.

Like, why do I write this down? Portia is the cheese, ham, bake, hammer bacon, jalapeno peppers, onions, tomatoes. Nothing really gives me more anxiety than watching someone ordering a bespoke omelette and a waiter not writing it down. Oh, that's my least favorite thing. You know what my least favorite thing is being a waiter and taking a goddamn omelet order.

They need to come up with a bread. Here's your breakfast scrambled eggs and a bagel. Okay, you don't go to like to each individual person room to room asking what they want. Because listen, this is what people do when like order omelets. They catch us say, I like cheese and like some sausage or something. They have to be like, um, cheese, ham, oh, bacon, bacon's good. Ah, jalapeno, onions, water burger, put some water burger on there.

Ooh, french fries, Sundays. Don't give people just endless options. I know, I actually really don't understand people who put in endless amounts of things into their omelets at that point It's just a power play. It's like oh, I have the ability to do that to do this. So I will that's what I'm saying But I only need like one or two items in there like put maybe some ham and cheese or maybe maybe I had a cheese omelette Last week somewhere. I don't remember where it was and I thought oh I'm being so healthy look at me just kidding protein because you know I'm trying to drop some LBs and

I thought, oh, I'm being so healthy. Look at me just getting protein, because you know, I'm trying to drop some LBs. And you should have seen this omelet. Okay, it was just the egg folded over like two inches of cheese. It was like that much cheese. And I still ate it. And I was like, God bless you, Dr. Atkins, up in heaven.

I still ate it. But yeah, this omelet order, it's a privileged omelet order. Just say that. It's too much. Yeah, and Pepsi's like, oh, jalapeno peppers, or jalapeno Pepsi. And she's like, oh, Pepsi, no, not you in my arm, with. Why do you keep trying to get ate up, Pepsi? And he's like, you know, we announced this for anyone who missed the first recap. Merky Waters getting into Pepsi accent. So, okay, we don't want to like total.

Yeah. You know, we, uh, we understand that we're constantly kind of on the line anyway, but we're going to avoid this one. So we're just leaning more into like, uh, Irish bro. I mean, I guess we could change it up week to week. And Irish broke that's also in, in, in guess we could change it up week two. And Irish bro, that's also in and of itself very cartoony and not what Irish people really sound like. But yeah, there's like a storied and sorted history

of white people doing Asian accents. That's not something that we necessarily want to contribute to. And we have contributed to it. Before anybody calls us out on being different friends, I know. I get it. We've been doing this.

This is our 11th year doing this. I used to do she, she, she, Beverly Hills. I used to do that guy, or Sonya's manicurist. And guess what? No one really ever said that's offensive. But then when people start us saying, you can't do that, then you stop doing it. Okay, it's called growth.

Yeah, it's called like respecting. It's like being courteous. It's like when someone gets married and you say, oh, this is my friend, Joni Rossbomb, like no, my name is Joni Smith now. That's all, you know, it's like, oh, okay. I see. We'll go with it.

We'll go with it. Sounds good. We'll make that just. So that's our adjustment. Joni Rossy, how about like, I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. I'm gonna say that. That was the Joni actually. So that's our adjustment Oh, that was the journey actually

She's so proud to marry to a Smith I'll tell you what I believe in Johnny Rothbump That's the idea No, no, no You know what Pepsi loves to do? Happen it, this. Pepsi Dashkola. There's one for ya. Pepsi Rothbaum.

That's my original name. So he's like, I'll try my best to let the girls have their best experience. Mushrooms on your omelet it is. That's like alright, just jump ten ten of those you'll do fine. So then we go to Mary Sol and Heather at breakfast and Heather's like day two, Elephant Sanctuary. Have you ever touched an elephant before? I wonder how many followers of Elephant? Elephants have huge following now. It's crazy. Yeah, Elephants are, there's a documentary in Apple called the Elephant King.

Like, I wanna be in that documentary, get some followers of them, am I right? You know what I'm saying? And Pepsi's like, well, we want everybody to keep this memory close. And Mary so it's like, well, I haven't actually seen an elephant, I have seen things that are elephant-ass. Oh well, you know, I don't get it.

I don't care. So, and Heather's like, with two hands I presume. So then, Leah's doing yoga. And she's, they're going to be going to an elephant sanctuary, as you mentioned. That's Leah's activity. And she tells us, as housewives, a lot of our excursions are dinners and lunches and fighting. And yesterday was a big hot mess, but the elephants have healing powers.

So hopefully their calmness rubs off on the women. I'm like, yes, I'm sure the elephants totally chill. And they're like, like, nothing about the real housewives will make the elephants go crazy and want to stamp you, that blot you into little puddles of human gear. Filler, little, little filler. It'll be like the elephant gets its own like little mini trampoline for its office to exercise it. You know, just bouncing up and down on fillers.

But yeah, I wouldn't listen. Elephants are so pretty and like calendars, and I'm sure in real life as well, or like art from home goods, love an elephant home goods painting. But yeah, you don't wanna piss off an elephant, okay? There was a story a few months ago that elephant who some lady in the town like spanked it

or did something or like they killed its baby or something and that elephant came back for revenge. Stopped the whole town went to that lady's house dragged her ass out and stomped her dead. So I wouldn't compare elephants to real house, so I say real elephants will win. Elephants are not chill. That's what that's my understanding. Elephants are not chill. Elephants and hippos, both very unchill animals, and I don't think they have healing powers.

I think they are sweet and lovely, and I love an elephant. I love an elephant. But they don't, I think they are more like, get out of my face powers, you know? And I always remember there was an episode of road rules where there was the semester at sea season, and they were, I think, in India and

they all were, they went to some activity where the elephants, they did some sort of elephant painting thing where they gave elephants little brushes and the elephants would actually paint. And one girl refused to do it because she felt like it was really mean to the elephants which probably was, and I just remember Buta Murray, the production company, they went to commercial and they zoomed in on an elephant eye crying. And I was like, okay, well, the elephant probably doesn't like this, but the elephant's not crying.

Because the elephant knows it can just kill all of you right now. The elephant's like, fine, I'll fucking paint this. I'll paint something to just stupid people. Oh, good. So, yeah, well, how can you forget an elephant here? But it's like on real house size of a atomic, you can always close up on Michael Darby's Look at him. Look how depressed he is. He's crying. But he's just a watery-eyed dog. Like what are you gonna do?

Like say Beethoven is the most depressed dog on movie screens? No, it's a watery-eyed dog. No, hate Beethoven. So, um, Marisol, you do hate Beethoven. That dog is out of control. Beethoven. So, um, Marisol... You do, Beethoven. That dog is out of control. It's not a very well-behaved dog. It's a terrible dog. That's like literally a terrible dog. Literally, it's like literally a terrible dog. It's a malicious dog. So, Marisol, she's still having stomach issues.

And, she says that starting the day with a screwdriver is not starting the day with a screwdriver is helping her. Wow, I can't believe with your stomach issues that by not drinking something that's acidic and alcoholic that it's helping. Yeah. And Alexi is a shocked as me. She's like, I thought you were going to say it's not helping. And she's like, well, listen, I don't drink a lot, but I do drink for many hours everybody. I'm a happy drunk, okay? And Alexis, I call it yes, you are.

You're a very happy drunk. She goes, well, when people tell you have a problem, then you have to stop. But no one tells me I have a problem to your face. Literally everybody says it behind your back, okay? The, it's very hard to say to someone's face. That's why they have a whole show called intervention where you all link up together.

You have to plan a whole fucking meeting about it, okay? No one just casually says you're an alcoholic and walks off. Well, I thought that was about making up new gadgets and gadgets. Oh, but you know, that's invention. That's something it is. But I, well, I think the reason why no one

is confronting Marisol is because I also feel like no one really believes she's drinking as much as she says she is. Like there's definitely a feeling, I always get this feeling like she's really not drinking that much. She has that big opaque cup, it's opaque, you can't see what's in it. And she's always just carrying around

and advertising how much she's drinking. When we all know like a real drunk doesn't have to even advertise it. You just see them going back for more and more and more and getting wasted. She never really seems to get wasted. She just sort of has to. That's the character.

That's what's annoying about it. It's an affected character choice and it's a fail. It's like, I'm not fancy. From my absolutely fabulous. Like no, you're not. You're just a lady who needs a personality. You know, don't try and use teetos like that. I would like some respect for teetos.

Yeah. So, Leah goes to the little spirit house and lights some incense. And she's like, God, if you're there, it's me, not Margaret. And you can hear me. Like, please help me get a good night's sleep tonight. Because I'm like, PMS-ing. And I'm just afraid I'm gonna freak out on someone, because I'm in that kind of mood, thanks God. Yeah.

So then she tells us, I have PMDD, okay. Premastral dysphoric disorder. I only have one good week out of the whole month, one week I'm leading, and then 10 days I I'm PMSing. So, I was like, wow, really glad they called you in. This is great, this is great. And who's the editor who's like, you know what? Definitely keep all of this.

Definitely keep this. This is why people sign up for Pete Gock, okay? So Leah goes, like, she goes to breakfast, she tells everyone she's PMSing, but then she's like doing child's pose, and then she's else doing child's pose also. I mean, we're basically like 10 minutes into the show, and this is what we're at.

And Heather's like, I just, I don't wanna piss off anybody today. I mean, yesterday knocked me on my ass. Me, the new kid, with all the Yalphas, but I'm gonna turn this ship around, and I'm gonna win back these women if it's the last thing I do. Hey, can I get someone's autograph? I brought a whole binder.

Yeah, so Candice comes in singing, of course. She's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, and Leah's loving her jelly platforms. And Candice says she's already eaten because Pepsi brought food to her room, blah, blah, blah, small talk, small talk. But the point is tonight is Candace's night. And it's a drag show, but in Thailand, most of them call themselves lady boys. And then there's a pause on her

face while it pops up on screen, lady boy definition. Now most of Thai culture consider lady boys to be a third gender. So I guess they're like, it's problematic to describe them as drag queens, but we'll just correct her in the good old-fashioned editing way. Right. With a dictionary entry. Yeah, they're like just so everyone knows, or it also, it doesn't case anyone gets up, feels like lady Boys is like actually a derogatory term. They're like, don't know, it's a thing. It's a thing. So you've added us.

It's like, it's like, it's like, you got it. So you've added us. If we've already made Watcher Crappens change their Pepsi axes, okay? Bravo's like on edge, because last time they went to Thailand, things did not work out so well.

Leanne Locken. Thailand ruins Bravo's story. Yeah, that's true. So let's see what happens this time. Right. commercials. Here comes one right now. If you're hiring, you know what it's like to deal with economic uncertainty. And now more than ever, it's really important to hire the right people faster and more efficiently because you got to keep the overall cost down and thankfully There's a hiring partner who's focused on you and your needs and that is Zip Recruiter from pricing to technology

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Just head over to the meat aisle at your local grocery store, grab some impossible beef or patties and get grilling. But yeah, lady boys, anybody who's familiar, they're always lady boys. Like that's how they are day and night. Which got to love it. They're fabulous too. So Candice is like, yeah, dinner and a lady boy show. And

if you have something that's what are you laughing? I just, no, I just think it's such a funny thing. I'm lady boy, day and night. It sounds like a commercial for like a long lasting deodorant. It's like on project run when they say day to night wear. You have to wear it in the daytime, but then also wear it in the nighttime. I know what you meant. You didn't say anything problematic. I just thought it was a funny way to describe it. Well, yeah, because drag people think, oh, you get in the day, you're like a guy and then it night you dress up and you're like,

you have big waves and stuff. But now, lady boys are just lady boys all the time. Yeah. So either way, Whitney is like, I have high expectations for this lady boat show, lady boat, lady bugs. I love lady bugs. I can't wait to see them. And Thailand is known for them. I wish I brought my stripper pole. I have a stripper pole in my basement by the way. So Alexia and Mary soul come in and Mary soul still like I'm not feeling I'm not feeling it's here they don't me all that but maybe if I drink more I won't feel it because my belly is numb from the booze I'm gonna have so anybody want to Yeah, everyone's like, okay.

So then Candace, Portia comes in and then Candace says that when everything happened with season five of Potomac, she wasn't shocked that Portia was on Monique's side. And we see a flash show, Bravo chatroom, and Portia was like, the whole reason why Candace was suing Monique was to pay for her mom's house. So basically, there's clearly some simmering tension between Portia and Candice over this. And each one of them is like, I don't know why she doesn't like me.

I know. Each one of them is saying that about each other. So Portia's like, yeah, I'm just going to let her have a moment with that one. I'll let her have that one. And such like, yeah, I have no idea if she And Candace is like, okay, girl, good morning. Good morning. So now they all get on fans to do this elephant thing. And Candace is looking for alcohol.

She's like, where's the alcohol? Mary's soul's like, wait, what are you talking about? What a, who are you? Oh, well, you know, Pepsi came with a cock. Okay, that's what he called a roadie. He brought a roadie, you know? And Lea's like, what's a rally? And Lex is like, oh, you know,

it's like a drink for the road. Like, hello, like, shouldn't you be the one that knows that more than I do? Am I right? You know what I'm saying? And then we get to see my favorite thing, which is a real housewife drinking. So then we see Alexia drinking her roadie

and her lips are like, don't, like they be about kind of incur your lip on the cup and it's like going How hard are a pot? I know she's like I think there are like two types of bottle drinkers They're the ones who when they drink from a bottle their lips go around the entire Rim like okay, I'd run you demonstrate do a Do a profile where lips go all the way around like that. There are people who do drink like that, lips all the way around here.

I mean, you're inserting it quite deep, but. But, well, you have to have a point when they're in. They're having a big, sellered lips. Okay. But then, for the way I do it is, I have bottom lip on the bottom,

but top lip actually sort of goes inside. Yeah, that's how it's hard to, that's a standard, right? That's how you, that's right. Because otherwise, if you put your lips all the way around the bottle, you're just making a big mess, right? And you also have to. You're also asking to hit a speed bump and chip it to. There you go.

There's that, and you have less control. Yeah, but I don't understand people who do the wrap around. I don't know how they do that. Well, we don't have fillers. The fillers, the reason they do that is because you can't feel things with fillers that big in your lips. So that's why I'm going to how they do that. Well, we don't have fillers. The reason they do that is because you can't feel things with fillers that big in your lips. That's why I'm going to invent fillers that attach to nerve endings, or they have something

that can like, I don't know, guide you, because a lot of times it's why Diana from Real House Wise at Beverly Hills has the licking thing, you know. I think she's just making sure her lips are still there. Yeah. She's that kind of thing. Now listen, I know that I'm like Kyle Richards and then I pass judgment on shit and then I immediately get it done to myself. Like I always made fun of Kyle's Botox eye.

Like it's always like one eye's kind of blinking while the other one's not. And now I get Botox. So just, this is basically me saying, just wait, because I'm going to come one day with Lala Cant fillers. So Heather, so they're not there driving to the, they're just like driving around and then, oh, because they're driving to like the Kamala district. And so they're like, woo, just like our vice president. And then they're asking what Kamala. Heather.

Heather's like, can we all, everybody here? Can we just have a moment for Kamala? Okay, let's say it wrong. I said it wrong. Let's make a moment. Kamala. I always, I hate being that person who always says her name wrong, but I am.

And it's like the worst thing in the world. Well, I didn't hear it pronounced for a long time because I read my news. I don't watch it because I get so stressed out. So I thought it was it pronounced for a long time, because I read my news, I don't watch it, because I get so stressed out. So I thought it was Kamala for a long time. It's Kamala Harris. You know, when I heard it was Kamala. Yeah, because Kamala Harris sounds totally wrong

when I say it like that. But in a vacuum of reading notes on this show, I'm like, Kamala Kamala, I was like, uh-oh, pressure's on. Everyone's listening, everyone's watching, I can't go back, I have to make a choice on how to see this. Well, we don't know if it's pronounced the same way in Thailand. You know, maybe it's Kamala in Thailand.

We don't know. There we go. So, Porsche is like, yeah, what does she mix with again? And Heather says she's Indian and black. And then Porsche tells them that she's actually Nigerian and she knows because she did her DNA. And she's like, yeah, you know, that's where my butt came from. I mean, I wish I still had my little titties

because I would look more like my people with my big butt, my little, really because my ass comes straight from Waterburger. So I wish that I had a 23 in me to just tell you, it's okay, you know? Yeah, well, 23 in me is how Heather and me figured out that we're related. Oh, yeah, her great-grandfather and Migrate-grandfather were brother and sister and they had literally millions of followers. I'm just like here with my Hands out trying to get a few of them, you know, they didn't have Instagram back then

So it was actually people following wagons with tarp on top That's still lots of followers. That's why they had multiple wives because as soon as you became like a wife, you were like an instant grandma. You were a little original Instagram. You become a grandma within like a year, you know? Instagrams. So they used to call it instant, instant mamma, you know, Instagrams. So, these to call instant, instant mammal, you know,

but they've updated it. Instant graham crackers, that's our biggest sin. So then we go to Leah and Alexia chatting on the bus and Leah's like, so Alexia, I was watching like Real House was Miami and you're like, we're open, than like the other ladies and that's why I noticed about you like you're open She goes oh yeah, yeah, well, you know I'm like the only one on the show who's open like that, you know because like Mary. So she's the funny one And I'm the one with the spotlight on me because I was born a star

So there you go Mary so's the funny one and I'm the one that people actually care about okay like I like I'm the one that's like open who like cares about things, who has like things who are on their lives, that's all you know. And so yeah, she said that and then they're talking about like how Hermann, her non has like gay lover at that whole thing and Alexa saying how like she would not have been able to meet the lover if it were a woman, but because it was a guy, it was like, it was like easier for her to do that. And she thinks that her man was bisexual,

not just full-blown gay. Yeah, she was like, because he wanted me, even when we were separated, I was like, I'm not gonna go from being your wife to being your lover. And he was like, did he die from the sex act? Like, what, I mean, that's like some incredible enol, just saying. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, I asked a lover and he was like, did he die from the sex act? Like, what, I mean, that's like some incredible, you know, just saying. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no, I asked a lover and he was like, no. And Adriana said that, that was inappropriate, but she's, you know,

she's always saying inappropriate things like that. So I feel like Adriana, like, used my pain and like my sadness to secure a place in the show because like, she's only a friend of, you know what I'm saying? Like, what about your friend, Marisol? She's also only a friend of, and she's I'm saying? What about your friend, Marisol? She's also only a friend of, and she's just got, she has a trunk of props. Like that's what she's doing.

Yeah, yeah, at least Marisol brings some cups to be that's all. Marisol comes in with like an accordion and like a drum on her back. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Why do you have traffic on your head? Man, cause it's hilarious. I'm a street.

I'm a street. Whatever it takes to be on peacock. So then we see the clip. What we see Alexia saying basically was she sat on the show, which was if that's the way he died, then that's a beautiful way to die. Having sex with someone you love, you know? I want to die like that. And some Mary souls like.

I'm going on, we're here, I'm really touching all of them. Yeah, all of them time. So, Portia's like, oh yeah, all of them get to smell periods. It's like, oh, is that true? And she's like. Yeah, he is the one who needs to get to get a little bit like let the elephant get a little bit get a little bit of a period and she's like I'm disgusted so they're all cracking up and then for sure says she's so glad they're going to a sanctuary even if it's with

big ole elephants how can you not heal a little back the bond. Somebody talking about you've known each other for one day. I know. Where is this bond? What do you think of that? What needs to be healed with this group? They just met each other. Then there was a baby elephant in a pan, so I was like, okay, Ronnie's crying right now.

The elephant, that was my note. The elephants are so cute I can't tie. That's what I mean. It's the girl. Ronnie is absolute favorite. And then Candace like refuses to touch the elephant and she's like, in all of my days of living, I promise you, I never saw my black ass

dying in an elephant park in Thailand. So she basically is like, she understands that the elephants can kill you. So she's like, I'm not gonna, I'm just, I'm not gonna touch. I'm not gonna go near. That's, this is not for me. And they, they're telling them, don't touch the baby,

do not touch the baby. And Candace is like, yeah, elephants are unpredictable. They seem beautiful, but I don't know these people. They don't know me. Hehehehe. So the elephant blows mud at them. And Candace is like, why is she blowing stuff? And, for instance, I have a question.

So this is sanctuary. And they say, yes, all the elephants here have been abused. They've been used for writing and they're domesticated. So they have different personalities. Like, they can't just go back in the wild. You know, they're like dogs. And so they feed them. I mean, I just wrote that all down and said it out loud

because that's how much I love an elephant. My poor elephant! Come here! Okay! It's important for people to know about these elephants, especially actually because in Piquet, there are several flagrant elephant abuses. There's an elephant circus down there, where it's this whole thing,

this whole big thing in the elephants who all sorts of crazy stuff, they flap their hands like this. This is my elephant crazy circus. Yeah, no kidding. You're like they're in Chicago It's nuts They're doing Doing kicklines Well, I always think it's so funny. There's all these listen I've watched thousands of elephant videos some crazy like that

But there are these ones where the elephant is kind some some of them the elephant's faking it out. It's like, boom! And it kind of flaps at you, like it's gonna stampede you. And then it charges, and then it backs off. It's just warning you, like keep your damn bus of two arrests away from me, right? But then some of them, the elephant does run and just like knocks cars over and stuff like that.

And people are like, these fucking elephants, like in the comments on YouTube, people are like, fuck that elephant. I hope they catch it. It's like, well, what do you think? This is what we do to elephants. And now I'm wondering why they're pissed off, you know? I would feel bad though, if they were just like one sassy elephant

that just like loved the circus. It's just like, yes, this is what I was born for. Okay, everyone, I hear you're gonna get a show tonight and then they could put in the sanctuary. Like, that's like their reprogramming camp basically. I'm not a... Yeah, I'm just like, we're taking the circus right out of this elephant.

It's like, no, bitch, please. Bitch, I want a bounce of all of my trunk. I need a little mold about sucking down, please. Bitch, the people need me. Have you noticed on, by the way, sorry, this is gonna be a 10 hour recap. I don't even care. Have you noticed on our Facebook,

not on our Facebook, our Instagram, our Instagram mall, I started following a little piggy account. I didn't need, but I totally support. I'm getting a lot of little piggy content. I'm getting tons of, on my personal, I'm getting tons of otters and piglets and beavers lately, and it's wonderful. It's a weird ride.

I guess they've got like better agents now animals because they're, this little piglet account, I mean, it's not something that's posting up. Oh, but they're little babies. Yeah. They're just doing the cutest things. Like a little ball. Did you see the one on the ball?

The one they won. No, I saw one running around a little ball. Did you see the one on a ball? On a ball? No, I saw one running around a bed, and then I saw one cuddling. I saw three little baby piglets cuddling with a cat. Oh yeah, and the cat arranged itself. Yeah, that was a, that was, that one's a banger. I mean, and then one with like a newborn, and the piglet's just like looking the baby and sniffing it, like kind of like not biting it, but like, yeah. Did you see the piglet's just looking the baby and sniffing it and not biting it, but like, yeah.

Like, the piglet and the bubble bath? The piglet and the bubble bath? I can't. I mean, that was a great. There's one that I saw the other day. There was some sort of big yellow rubber ball, a big bouncy ball that you play outside with. And there is a piglet on it, and the piglet was like running on it.

And so the ball was like rolling, and the piglet was like, it's a little feet were going, and it was like, it looked like a little circus act. It was just coming down the sidewalk. Yeah. Perfect. I mean, I love that content. Okay, so back to this show. So they're feeding the elephants and stuff. And Mary's told, it's like, I'm going to feed them like,

Cuban mothers being their children. Because Cubans are the only people who fiend their children There's another thing that's only part of Cuban culture and Lea's like I remember me. I'm Lea. I was a pretty good housewife, so wait for it I'm not really scared of the elephants. I'm scared of these women Good one. Jizelle really steals the show because what was the noise?

She starts making these noises every time she feeds the elephant. She was like, whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo whoo. What was the noise she was making us? I don't remember at this point. She's making some crazy ass noise. And Candace is like, that's why she's single. Which she's like, if you're making these sounds during sex,

no man wants to have sex with that. I'm like, well, yes, that's true. But what do you think, what is sex to you? Is it like vegan elephant? I guess it could be actually. So then the elephant sneezes all over them and they're grossed out. It's like getting in their mouth and stuff.

And Whitney's like, oh my God, it's spank me out of the fence. She's like getting excited at the night. The elephant gets fired from the sanctuary. Yeah. The elephant is now doing car carpool. So I'm talking. So now it's time to get muddy.

So they're all kind of bathing the elephants in mud because the elephants love the coolness of the mud. And Alexi is like, oh my god, does anybody clean this water? Like is this clean water? Yes. did you see the pool boy coming through? Of course it goes. The Lord! And by the Lord cleans the water, I would actually say the Lord

fills it with all sorts of shit. So, this is not fun for me. Yeah, I did not travel halfway across the world. I'd come and play with stinky animals. Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho. I did not travel halfway across the world to come and play with stinky animals So then we see Porsche throws mud at Jacelle's butt. Yes, it's just like oh no, wow who did this? And then we see this slow down of the footage of Porsche doing it and she's like oh my god doing it and she's like oh my god who did you sound like that I would do that! Heather's on the side I'm like I can't believe I get to be

around these alphas having this fun time I mean I'm like basically what up them now which by the way is exactly how I woke up after I felt like Jimmy Butler was my friend so you know so funny I get it and they're showing there showing clips of Portia playing dumb when Marlow Gus canty. Are you a lesbian? And Porsche goes, what? Who said that? Who said that?

So then they start like a little mud fight because Mary soul is like, porous shins and ants. So then she throw some mud on Mary soul and then Porsche is like, what did you tell on me? And then the elephant poops. And then they were reminded of what's in the mud. In that moment. And that moment's like, ew, he just pooped, he just pooped. And so they run out and there's like horror edits and stuff.

And then Mary's soul's throwing mud at Porsche. And you can hear by the way, while they're running away from the elephant, you can hear the guide in the background be like, no running, no, excuse me, no running, please, no running. Like, please don't elicit a stampede from these elephants, these stupid people. So this is where our first rumor is derailed. So when they were shooting this, they said, Leah left early. She left the trip early because she assaulted someone with elephant poop. That was the original rumor. I don't know if everybody remembers it.

That's right. Good old Sashaw Medea was telling us that to be getting it the season. And that is not in fact what happened. So we can ex that rumor off the whiteboard. Wow, can we even believe anything anymore? Right. So Heather's like...

I knew Sashaw'd to be such a goddamn liar. That damn liar. So Heather's like, I am not afraid of large animals, but I am afraid of PETA because they don't have many followers. Knock a bear to Porsche. Okay, I can't get their low followers think on me. Okay, I don't want to do anything wrong. So now they have to have lunch smelling like elephant poo near the elephant.

Yeah, I mean, they rinse off, but I'm like, did they get soap too? Because I just feel like I need a deep clean after like playing around an elephant poop before I eat my lunch. Right. So they're going to open some wine and of course, it's like, I need the quarts screw. You all are acting like you're brand new. So she takes the bottle and acts like she's gonna suck out the cork

and they're like, what? Come on, she's like, yeah, I'll suck it out. And they're just watching her like, there's no way she can do it. And she goes, don't post this, it doesn't go with my brand. Yeah, and they was like, I'm sure she's like a very talented woman, but you cannot suck a cork out of a wine bottle.

Like, I don't even think a wine bottle can do that. And then Porsche is like sucking it and then she looks in and goes, y'all some dumb holes! Because it's just a prank. Yeah, so y'all start laughing. Commercials, here comes one right now. Hi, I'm Michael Patrick King, host of the official Max Companion podcast, and just like that, the writers room. Each episode members of the writers room and I unpacked moments from season 2, sharing juicy details you can only hear from us.

Stream and just like that season 2 starting June 22nd on Max, and listen to end just like that, the writers room on Max or wherever you get your podcasts. And then they bring food and Mary's soul's like, oh, very funny. You putting like carbs in front of Mary's hall, all right. So now they're eating and stuff and Alexi is like, oh my God, if you had to do with that food or sex, what do you choose? And purses like, I could do with that penetration, honestly.

They're like, oh my God. So then Leah's like, can I say something? I just want to say it's like really refreshing to talk about sex openly. Like normally I try to do that on my show, but I got shut the fuck down. You know, and we see a flashback of Ramona being like, you know what? This conversation is getting a little crazy in there, okay? Like who talks about this? It's just like it's not me, okay?

I don't want to talk about sex. Sorry, sorry, I'm not want to talk about sex. Sorry. Sorry I'm not gonna talk about it. Okay, you know what this is Aubrey Hepburn. Okay, Aubrey Hepburn nice She's a very classic thing. That's it. Okay, it's called breakfast Tiffany's not gonna get asked to eat now to Tiffany's Nobody wants to know because she's making it sound like people saying wow who, what do you like better food or sex is the same as her being like? If a guy doesn't eat out your ass, then like, what's the fucking point? I know. She's like, I mean, what's the best thing about being a housewife? I want the worst thing everyone. Okay, talk. So Candace goes, my best, honestly, it's an honor to be the second all black cast and the worst thing

Social media. I am pummeled pummeled on the hour After I say very vicious things to people after I call people Minimum wage roaches or whatever And just like Candice you bring this on yourself Candice and she goes, no, I don't, they come at me first. And she's like, you need to take responsibility for your trigger fingers Candice. And she's like, oh, really, for responding to Ashi people. I don't care if they moisturize her.

Then she tells us, Candice, last night you told us you have you have you have accountability for your mouth But now you want to tell us that you don't know why you get troll on social media. It's because you bring it on yourself Trolla So how there's like well the best part about housewives every single thing about it That's what's the best thing. I mean my life was absolute shit. I know hope, no future. I mean, I got a divorce. My husband was just sitting in a hot tub perming pruning around the day,

not gonna get shit about anything. You know, I mean, like, I was just facing a wall. I was like, I just wanted to make sure I didn't fuck up my kids, but this gave me an opportunity and opportunity to escape with famous people. Why, you combined them? Do you know how many malls who are you? Combined? Do you know how many malls of followers you guys have combined? This is amazing.

And to think, I almost didn't throw out that Bolero jacket. Okay, because I thought I would have to wear that. And now I don't need a Bolero jacket to fit it. I can just be me. So then Alexia is like, oh yes, you know, I have a problem with the housewives who say it destroyed me because I destroyed my family. Oh, like we've been doing this a long time.

Okay, even though we didn't do it for years, you know, after eight years. Like we made a comeback and what are the chances after eight years? So cheer still us, you know what? Forget, forget what I was gonna say before. What I'm saying now is cheer still us, we're the best. Yeah, I just want to take everyone else that's been talking about and just sort of like somehow funneled it into you guys toasting me, okay? So, Heather's telling us, Alexia, I mean, while

the resurgence of the real house, so I said, man, I mean, something to celebrate, nobody's asking questions about, now, your followers are so low, I mean, you're something to celebrate. Nobody's asking questions about you now. Your followers are so low. I mean, you're not an alpha. Okay, you're not a disorder, apportion. My future best friends got out now. So now Whitney gets to go. And she's like, my best and worst are the same. The amount of growth is the best,

but the amount of growth is also the worst. And personal development is the best, but the amount of growth is also the worst. And personal development is the best, but personal development is the worst. I really back myself into a corner with this one. Can I start over again? Hot dogs. I love hot dogs. They're affordable and delicious. But they're high sodium and high cholesterol.

They're the worst. Hey, I've always been a down-ass bitch like my ass points down and I never thought I'd be picked in anything in life. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to be here on America's next top model. No, Whitney, that's not the show. Oh, where are we anyway? Whose basement is this? Some forces like, well, the best part of Sisterhood is me. And because let me tell you what I gave to this show.

So forces, forces best part that she got from it is what she's given all of us by sharing her post-paltum depression. Right. And she said, you know, she said that she let the camera see it and she was a suicidal moment for her and she couldn't even turn on the light.

And then on teet, like, this was all happening in national television. A producer basically, like, came to her and said, like, you know, you know, like that she sat her down. And yeah, they're basically like, we're here. We'll, you got your back. I'm not your dancer. And we're here for you.

Okay. And then of course, a producer ruins your life. Yeah, exactly. Hey, Porsche, we'll do whatever it takes for you to get that post-partum depression so that we can start fighting with people again, okay? So, so Porsche was great, but it was a nice story actually. And Marisol was like, well, I filmed two scenes and in one of my scenes my mom showed up

and we were going to Leah's Gal line and she walked in and they were like, who's that? And I was like, it's my mom. So that was my story. And then we see a clip of mama Elsa being like, oh ring, no Mary Sol, you can't do this. It's not becoming to you because you don't look rich enough to own this ring. Oh, her mom just dissing her on camera.

And Mary Sol's like, she loves that camera, she loves that camera. If the producer said she can't do something, she would grab their neck and say, Andy told me I could do whatever I want. And they said, I want that lady. And I said, no, I'm gonna get those very aware of the things that she had done to her beautiful face.

This was, I thought, a really strong marisol moment. Cause she was saying that she base, it was like, I didn't want people making fun of my mother. She was kind of really acknowledging my mom had really fucked up her face where doctors had fucked up her face. And she didn't want people to make fun of it.

And she tells us that like, you know, like she was gorgeous, you know, in her youth. And we see the photos and she really was like a knockout because people thought she looked like so feel a rent. They would stop around the street. And, but she had a bad heart. And so when her mom wanted to have plastic surgery that they couldn't give her the anesthesia so they would just give her these fillers and Basically, she got to form from the fillers because let's face it. Let's face it

It's probably you know, I think plastic surgery and fillers have come a long way since probably when her mom was doing them And so it's kind of like a very sad story of a lady ruining her beauty in pursuit of further beauty, you know? Yeah, I just remember that from season one. So I'm like, shut up Mary soul. So then Mary soul is like, No, I'm just kidding. It was nice.

But if you remember, you kinda see someone, that was a nice moment. No, it was nice because I thought like, there was something like very, I don't wanna say primal, but like somebody about her being like, I didn't want people making fun of my mom. It's like a really, that's an emotion that's like,

oh, like I feel that, you know? I mean, not that I sit around being like, I don't want people to make fun of my mom, but that's like a thing. It's like, you don't want someone making fun of your mom unless it's yourself, you know? Yeah, I'm the only one that's allowed to make fun of my mom. That's true.

But then of course, Mama Elsa came onto the scene and kept Mary Sol on the show because Mary Sol was a complete dud. I mean, I don't know if people remember this first two seasons, but Mary Sol literally was dull as a dish rag. She had nothing going on. Her mom was the interesting thing that kept them going. Mary Sol literally did nothing at the beginning. And that's true. That's why we know this personality is totally manufactured because she came like, okay, you know, I need to be about the witchcraft and the drink and bolt some mom-else out. So, but yeah, you know, I miss mom-else. She was one of the greatest.

I loved her. I loved mom-else. Okay, so now she's like, okay okay now it's Leah's moment to cry. So Leah's like all right, I think that's what she said. So Leah's like, okay, I've been waiting all day. So let me go, okay I'll be really honest like a Barbie didn't want to go on this show. I'm sure she's like, uh-oh, don't start by crying Yeah, I'm like, a bird of me, didn't even want to go out of this show. And of course she's like, uh-oh, don't start by crying. Yeah. I'm saying. Cry once you're into it, once you're into it, not right away. I really had a hesitation to come here

because last season was so hard for me. Like, I lost my grandmother the first week of filming, and I had to go to Ramona's house for five days. And no one said, you can leave. Like, no producers producers none of my fat cast members no one said Leah go go to your grandmother everyone's like uh and Porsche's like um there's no way in hell anyone's gonna tell me to say where if my family need me so like you know this reaction was not at all

what I expected I thought they were gonna be like, yeah, you know, productions rough and you still gotta go to work, even when things are hard, but nobody was like that. They were all like, this is bullshit. Yeah. Production would not make you stay there

and you can't be crying about it all these, like what, two or three years later now and acting like a victim when you're the one who wanted to be on TV and said, go to see your grandma. I was like, damn. She's crying because she feels guilty about her own choices clearly. And you say, and you say, you got to take responsibility for what you do, never blame a producer. And Whitney is like, actually, we have the same production company and I know them very well.

And there's no way they would have made her stay there. Yeah, so. Oh wait, hold on, I'm sorry, we get this. Okay, go ahead. Celia's like, I mean, I was having vertigo, I was having panic attacks, I was like freaking out at everyone, I was screaming at them and finally woke up in the morning and I was like, you guys, I gotta leave. And I got in my car and my mom texted and he and said she died. And I was like, on the way to New Jersey and it like catapulted me into the worst oppression

I ever had that I ended up in a hospital. And everyone's like sort of shrugging like, okay. No one, no. She's like telling sort of a gut wrenching story and I was like, hmm. And then Leah says that basically went in air. The audiences were like, you should have been with your grandma. You should be with your grandma

and just like it kind of tore her up. Yeah, I mean, I can see that season being terrible for her because also people were like, you suck. Yeah, in general, you know? But the whole when she's like, and it was my grandma, that's why I was being so mean to everyone.

I was like, that's every clip of you on this show pretty much is you screaming at being horrible. Yeah. I mean, I feel bad for her because she obviously, she didn't, she's living with the guilt of not having left sooner, right? And that's going to haunt her for a long time. And that does suck. That sucks. That sucks. And then you have people just being like, you suck. Like you should, like, guilty her for not like when she already feels guilty that does suck. But at the same time, like, like don't blame the producers you probably could have gone very easily Like we've seen it on all these shows people leaving early

Ariana just left a Vegas trip earlier because of her dog so like you know I don't yeah, so She's basically crying and saying then the audience starts yelling at me and saying I suck I should have been with my grandma and so Jusela's like there there there there I'm trying to comfort her, but Jusela's so cold it comes across like that and so Candace comes and hugs her like from behind or sits next to her and like wedges herself in between Jusela and Leah to do it and She's like it's okay and Jusela goes, but like, that's my hugs weren't good enough. Haha.

Leah's like, the days were like not getting better. And like, my daughter had to see me like that. And like, no one gives you a guide book on like, public shaming. And like, you know, I'm being critiqued on how I'm grieving. Like, I remember seeing a comment, like, Leah's having a bad season. I'm like, this isn't about a season.

This is about me losing my grandmother. And they're all like, yeah, but it was a pretty bad season for you though, nevertheless. So yeah, I mean, look, of course, I just lost my grandmother. Like I get it, my second grandmother, and I get it, like, you know, it is very sad.

And I guess you shouldn't even compare. I shouldn't have even said that. Like, well, I lost my grandmother because you should never compare something like that. But my general note on this whole scene is like, you were a dick all season, you were a dick the season before. And now you just are crying. It's like you're using, you were still a dick.

And yeah, if people are saying, this isn't how you should grieve, they're saying you shouldn't be fucking attacking people 24, 7 and using grieving as your excuse. I think was more at the point of all of that. Not that you shouldn't grieve right now. I do feel bad for her because that had to be a heartbreaking moment for her. She basically made the wrong choice.

You know, I feel bad for me because I'm really realizing what a sociopath I am. Because I don't. I don't. That's fine. You don't have to feel bad for everyone. I tend to feel bad for people a lot. I don't. Because I remember the season too much when she tried pulling that was my grandmother. It's like that's a real thing, but you're still an asshole, you know? And that's my biggest problem on these shows is when you don't own it, baby. It's like you use

some, some excuse that nobody can argue with because it is an actual tragedy and it is like legit a legit reason to be upset. It's just mad, treating people like that. Yeah, I just am I'm like a I'm a very pliable person so if the producers feed me a moment like this scene is a scene that's meant to make you feel bad for someone. I'm like I feel bad for them. I can't help it. I am always like emotionally manipulated by the show. I know but I'm that I'm like, I feel bad for them. Like, I can't help it. I am always like emotionally manipulated by the show. I know, but I'm that, I'm that elephant who remembers shit and will come back to your village and stomp down the old woman who taunted me. You know, that's me. What can I tell you?

So now Candace is crying, which is hilarious, because why is she crying? And then Porsche is like, this is a safe space. We are all the way in Thailand. This is a spiritual elephant sanctuary. And whenever you're on a girl's trip and you shed a tear, you have to drink. I'm like, that doesn't work for Leah. Yeah, I know the one who is really crying. So Candace tries to have her crying moment, but then they don't give it to her.

Porsche like interrupts it, right? So then they leave. And they're getting in vans and Leah is talking in her van about how she got a wait off her chest finally. And Candace is like, yeah, this is the most intense it's been for me because me and Chris are not in a good place. And my family suffers, my marriage suffers, and our stuff is, listen, my husband has been a workaholic his whole life. I mean, the minute I met him, he said, hey, where would you like to go?

My dear love.cassidy, I mean, canvas. Yeah, and they had the biggest, they just had the biggest fight of their marriage. And what's funny is that as canis is like telling the story about how she and Chris are in a tough place, Alexia is just like in the backseat yapping so loudly. You don't hear what you saying. You're like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah how, you know, when COVID hit, he owned a restaurant in the close. I thought he just managed it, but what do I know? I do remember this, they don't have napkins there.

Okay, I remember this about that restaurant. And for the first time in his life, he wasn't working, so he got an opportunity finally to go back to a restaurant. And that was like the worst thing in their entire world for their marriage. And so they had the biggest fight of their marriage. Now she doesn't say that he's not working at that restaurant anymore, right? Did she say that in Potomac? Well, I know at some point, on Potomac we learn that he's no longer working at the rooftop of the W or whatever it was.

But she's like, either I'm working in He's Off or he's working and I'm off. And I was like, she's like, we haven't working in He's Off or he's working and I'm off. And I was like, she's like, we haven't seen each other in two months. It's like, I feel like that's an exaggeration. You guys probably see each other and you're just trying to kind of like compile some sort of evidence for why you should be crying right now,

but this is the case where I work, was not buying it. So she's talking about how she's away from home and she misses him. And now she's stuck so far away with all these women yelling at each other. And it's a lot. How much are you getting paid literally for going away for eight days? Yeah. Okay. Exactly.

So she's crying. Now she's having her moment to be like, so she does. And then the other van, it's Whitney, Porsche, Mary Sol and just hell. And Whitney's like, wow, isn't that crazy? Like some people can look at a man and get pregnant. And some people have the biggest problems with it. And Porsche is talking about how she had fertility issues. And Mary Sol is like, well, I wanted kids,

but it just wasn't going to happen for me, which is really sad, because she had a birth defect and couldn't give birth. And so now she just learns how to be happy in the moment, which I would buy if her storyline didn't revolve around, you know, Gregus. Yeah, but you know what I always say, you know, for those who can't have kids,

at least they can have brunch, you know? Yeah, that's the gay way. That's the gay way. At least you can do things, you know? Yeah, that's the gateway. That's the gateway. At least you can do things like, hey, I want to go to brunch today. None of my friends who have kids, it's like you say, do you want to get a brunch today? Well, there's like a million things. They're like, will you come clean up the vomit off the my shirt

and come my hair first? How'd it go? Can you come to soccer slash, like pottery slash, like it's like pottery tea ball or something? So you may not be able to have children, but you can have an expendable income, okay? You can have the extra nice catch for the CBT. Yes, you can have clean floors.

So I'm just saying, there's upsides to both things. So don't feel down. So Candace like today, this has been the best day of the trip for me so far. I'm like it's day two. You're like it's either the worst day or the best day. There's no other options. Yeah, and she's like I've been having anxiety, no sleep.

I've been dying and Lea's like, I had no idea this was going on with you. And she's like, yeah, I don't want anyone to know. I was like, yes, she do. You just tried to have this crying scene at brunch, but just I'll cut you off. And she's like, but this one is a great day. And Lee is like, well, I'm glad you're feeling better.

Oh my God, did you almost grab my boob? That wasn't insane. So these two are fast friends. Never saw that coming. Did Nazi that coming yet? It makes total sense. So now they're back at the villa and Pepsi's making them cocktails

and you say, oh, I want to come back home and Porsche's like, how do you smell Pepsi? It's like like a zoo So they now they have to get ready for dinner. So they have to get ready for dinner at Spy six and Candace says if you have a grill Wear it in your mouth tonight, which is like fine, but I'm like I thought the vibe was like, oh, she had said it was a quote unquote drag show, even a lady boy show. She said drag show, but it's a lady boy show.

And I didn't understand what the grill had to do with it, but she says, if you have a grill. So, um, Well, neither does Whitney because she's outside trying to put a fucking grill in her mouth. I know. She's the most I've ever gotten in here before it's a fist. Ow! Pepsi! Whitney is bad news of grills. I mean, that was what preceded the big, you know, bad weather fight. You know, she was grilling. Oh, that's true. So, Porsche, okay, so then we get the best part. Porsche goes up to Pepsi. She's like, Pepsi. Can you get me some KFC? Please, and he's like you want some what's it? What is it Kentucky fried chicken? It's like all right

I'll do anything for you. I'm a lady. I'm just fine. It on the island you got me Pepsi. Yeah, there's a bug in my room Pepsi Pepsi. I won't call slowlaw, and macatinos and gravy, I can die of magic and I'm gonna raise it up, Pepsi. Bug Pepsi, y'all. And Candace is like, we want breasts. So Pepsi goes to take care of the bug. Me, this poor guy, he's so beleaguered, you know.

So then Whitney is getting her hair sewn by Heather and they have their conversation. Right. So when he's like, so Heather's like, tell me, it must have hurt trying to put that grill in your mouth. You know it's slaying, right? She's like, well, we were, we're here with other people and this has been amazing. And Heather's like, I'm just trying to figure out who I am in your life because it's shifted.

And you literally said to me, I'm gonna worry about like, you and not me, and I'm just gonna, I'm not gonna be a part of bad weather anymore. So you like totally quit me. Heather, I'm never going to stop loving you ever. Yeah, but do you regret breaking up with me? I'm like, I never broke up with you, Heather.

Yeah, but a friendship breakup is a breakup. That's just a break. Okay. Oh, sorry. This form and grill is really hurting my teeth. So Heather basically Whitney is like, you can't break up with a friend. That's just petty. And Heather is saying, well, Whitney at least bad weather was bringing her down. And without my dead weight, her shooting start can go farther the more you know. And Whitney is like, she's just, but I stopped inviting her to all the cool stuff I do. Because I need a space from her.

Yeah, Whitney, that's called dumping your friend. Okay? If you go from inviting somewhere everywhere to not inviting them anywhere, and they see on Instagram, you're doing these things without them, that's dumping a friend with me. Well, she's dumb because a lot of people would kill to be part of bad weather, okay?

Like, you know what, if maybe if like, I don't know, like, like, Frank Katania could be part of like, then Frank and Heather, we're feather, bad feather. I mean, the possibilities are endless. Yeah. She's like, you know, you said I'm on a friendship break from Heather, I would have been friends with Lisa

from day one if it weren't for Heather. So I guess I'll be friends with Lisa now. I mean, that was the shift. And I think it's so funny, they're fight boils down to, we were always against Lisa together, no matter what. And now we're not both against Lisa, no matter what. Even though Lisa's tried to be like, Heather,

you know, we could be friends. Why don't we start over? And Heather's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like if she's desperate for someone to shoot with, she'll talk to Lisa. But then she goes right back down to ripping Lisa down. Yeah, I wouldn't be like, I hear you're side of it. And I wrote for you.

And you and Lisa didn't like each other. So I didn't like each other, so I didn't like Lisa and Heather's like, but Lisa was horrible to you, independent of me, horrible, 1000% but I wrote for you on a lawnmower, a riding lawnmower, I made figure eights in your grass and you never said thank you. You know what, Heather has become a shell of a person and she only cares what the world thinks of her. And I think the fame and opportunity has gone to her head. And Heather is like, what's going to take for us to love each other again?

I'm sorry, that was live. Okay, let me press down. Hold on, let me just check poor show Williams still not following me back, but I think maybe tomorrow will make a make a big inroads there. So there's like do not sacrifice our relationship for the show. It's not worth it. Okay. And when he's like, but we are trying, I want to fix my relationship with you. It's not a sacrifice for the show. And that's like, well, what was the last six months then? Tell me that. Yeah.

I don't know about this, you know, but they decide they'll just kind of let it go. And they'll give 50-50 because that's what relationships are. And then they seal it with a kiss, okay? But these are Salt Lake City people, so we know this is gonna last about three minutes because that show what relationships are. And then they seal it with a kiss, okay? But these are Salt Lake City people, so we know this is gonna last about three minutes, because that show can burn through plot like no other, right? Yeah.

So then Pepsi shows up, it's like, she's gonna love it! Chicken in Thailand, can talk in front, chicken after it! It's like, wow! He did find it, and I was like, okay, this is like some producer bullshit. Like they, like they clearly, you know,

they brought a KFC bucket from America. They got some fried chicken and put it in there for this bit. But then I looked it up because I do this and there are actually several KFCs in Puket. So there you go. It could have been very well authentic KFC. So, I mean, this is why Porscheia is a national treasure, okay?

She gets her KFC and then just spreads it all over her bed and just sits in bed like a queen eating coleslaw, mashed potatoes, fried chicken. Love it. It's bold. So Marisol has a stomach ache still and her earring broke. Oh my God, the indignity is just keep on coming, am I right? Candace is in her room playing her own song,

singing to it and dancing around, fitting on her makeup. So now they all load back in the van, and Leah's guzzling a red bull, and Pepsi's like, you're gonna have the perfect tonight, tonight ladies, all right? They're like okay Pepsi So Jacelle Porsche Heather and Alexia are in one fan and Heather's like so Jacelle Who's not seat tonight? This is great pal?

pal, let me know if I can help pal best friends and my right three Amigos sort of three Amigos right guys alpha's alpha Amigos Three alpha Amigos is that can we call it that? You know what I'm saying, guys, great. Who are you throwing on the Grilled in Night Chisel? Hall, hilarious, high fives, tingles. Let's make a secret handshake. Now, I have a question. Are grills sort of like Mormon underwear for your teeth?

I'm sort of confused about this. So, Portia's like, it's Candice's my, what's your thing, games? And Lexi is like, well, I think the whole thing is going to be surprising to us because we're going to see Lady Boyce. I've never, ever seen this. What is this? So in the other van, Lee is showing Mary Solson pictures, pictures of dudes she's dating online. And she's like, so, do we think he's cute? Because it's a guy I'm talking to on this dating app. And like, and he's six four and he has a big dick to match his height They surprise you right?

Yeah, and then They basically they is this where she talks about micro penises or is that later a dinner? No, Whitney I want to see his face and then he goes why does he have a big dick face? What do you think? Dicks right it's not like crazy like big dick face? What do you think? Oh my, dicks, right? It's not like crazy, like a big dick. Yeah, is anybody like shocked? I just hope he makes peedos. So then they go to a place called Kepp Club and they show up and Marisol's like,

oh, a bar, hello, hello, by the way, in case everyone missed my log line. I'm the one that likes to drink. Okay, future house, why I'm gonna graduate, graduate back at Baskin' Baskin'. What a man. Oh, back home, we called this Nick you. It's a drink. Okay, future housewife gonna graduate, graduate back at last. What a way, Sam. Oh, back home, we called this Nick you.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. So outdoor venue, it's the outdoor venue, and Leah need to cigarette. They order blah blah. I love that Leah's like, can I have a red bowl in a cigarette? I don't know, you could order a cigarette. Oh, you have to like it.

That is funny, a cigarette. So, Marissa, oh my stomach hurts you could order a secret. You have to like it. That is funny, a secret. So Marcia's like, oh, my stomach hurts. I need a cocktail. You know, that's what every good stomachache needs, alcohol. So it can't just cause, like, so in keeping with the spirit of having a lady boy night, I thought it'd be wonderful if we all got our own lady boy names.

I'm like, I don't know if that's a thing, lady boy names, but sure. So. Yeah, she still thinks it's a drag show. I mean, you would think that somebody would have told her. Well, this is not a drag show. I mean, I, yeah, actually, I don't, I can't, I almost feel like,

can we even speak authoritatively about that? Cause when I was in Thailand, I definitely saw a drag show by a ladyboy. So I, I think that there's like, I definitely saw a drag show by a ladyboy. So I think that there's like, I can't tell where the spectrum begins and ends, but I do get the sense that a ladyboy is different than that ladyboy, and even said ladyboy is like a gender, drag is a performance. So I don't, I don't even know.

But either way, I don't think it's- I'm gonna be just spent. I'm gonna be too worried too much need to worry too much about it, because I'm not Googling it, you know what I mean? I'm just gonna stay in this place of ignorance for now. So they're gonna give out drag names basically. And so Candace is like, I'll go first. My name is Petty the Bell.

And Alexi's like, oh wait a minute, Petty or Patty? Because I know a Patty the Bell. I don't know what Patty the Bell is. Who's Patty? Is this or patty? Because I know a patty, LeBel. I don't know a patty, LeBel. Who's patty? Is this a name? Is this an American name? Is this like a Tadada? I like Alex, you're not understanding the idea of drag names. Oh, you mean, I think you mean patty, LeBel.

Okay, your drag name is patty, LeBel. Just like... We're talking about a drag, Adriana then. Is her name Adriana? That's the drag. So, yeah, just like, I would have called her a Crybaby Candisa or Mama Drama Candisa or a garbage can mouth Candisa.

I'm like, not a lot of wordplay there, but I respect the sentiment. But I liked it, it's just so rude. It's like garbage mouth. That's a mad collar. She says, but petty, not for you. So, Jacelle's like, so have you even been Petty since we've been here, Candice? She goes, I'm about to be. So then Jacelle is next and she explains to the lady. She's like an art group. Karen

says Jacelle needs a man. And then we see, oh,? Is that what's going on with your firebox, your box for the fire or firey firey box? Yeah, so her drag name is Shanida man. Oh, well, do you mean like Anita or like, are you saying Shenaya Twain? I think you got it wrong, Candace. I don't, I don't get it. And then Candace is like, she could have been root Paul Anita stylist dummy more First the right us Those were all pretty good I have to say He can't understand just like well this isn't even good shade Ah because you don't know what kind of men's I have I might not be in a relationship And that's by Troisa because I do like to dabble here and there and everywhere

Ra like no it was good. It was good. It was good. Change although I Thought so yeah, this was good So Candace then moves on to Alexia and she's like you've got gorgeous hair You've got this gorgeous face. You're a blonde so you are Havana white, which is yeah, you know She's only gonna be shady to the when she doesn't like obviously right But of course Alexi is like Savannah who Savannah The morning because I don't like to watch the news in the morning. I'll tell you that. Oh, oh, oh, can this you messed it up

My name should be Van a white. No, no, no, have an a white. No, no, because have an Vandews is a city in Cuba. And Vandewite is the person so you should be I should be Vandewite. Marisels is we're starting to see a big drop off in creativity. Marisels just gets crystal ball, which is a little like just kind of like an afterthought, you know. I don't think they brought very many gays to Thailand. I think like the gay the gay stylists and stuff who usually help them like couldn't get in or something. So yeah, she gets crystal ball and just I was like, I don't hear petty, y'all. She goes, I'm sprinkling it in, just hell. So Heather and Whitney, you're the bad weather cousins we have, snow right now. So now we'll have snow right and snow wrong.

How about that? Now Leah's converting to Judaism. Okay, so you're gonna be Judy is. That was real. It was really like, it was, it was like, okay, okay, it does. You start off strong. You're starting to lose the thread here. Also, what's funny about Snow White and Snow wrong

is that Whitney's drag name only makes sense if she's around Heather. Like Heather could be her own. She's just Snow right, like she can be her own drag name, but Whitney's in a vacuum if Whitney walks into a place and goes, my drag name is snow wrong. People will be like, what? Why he's snow wrong. Oh, because there's another person whose drag name is snow right. So, so they call me snow wrong is because there's this character from Disney called Snow White and then white rhymes with right but then the opposite of fright is wrong. It's a verging on like Cockney Rhyming slang where like you rhyme one word with another and then remove that word and go to another association.

Yeah, that's a lot for me. So then we get to Porsche. So she's like, so the rumor was Porsche that you got your man in a sketchy way and the people would say that you stole a man. So you are so you are Sunita man. No, your sister is Sunita man and you are she take a man. Yeah. I'm like, ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And Portia's like, yeah, but like, can you take a man if he's already free? So which by the way, I feel like Portia was really annoyed. She really did not like this at all. So Candice is like, that was the rumor.

That was the rumor man. So Portia's like, I'm very underwhelmed. I mean, first of all, I'm like bored. And then you're gonna come out here with these dollar store fans and dollar store G. Like, it's very much pressed. And Murray still's like, where is the lady room? All right.

So they start kind of moving around a little bit, the games over. And Whitney's like, thanks for our names. And Portia's like, I'm not thinking her for my name. Stupid name. So she sells like, yeah, the petty was not equally distributed. Yeah. Portia's like, she put zero thought into the other names and all the energy in the ours.

And just like, I mean, what was mine again? She needed a, she needed a man. And Porsche's like, and I'm shit took a man. Jacelle's like, well, you might have. I'm just, no, I didn't. And they start cracking up. So, Porsche's like, well, mine was based on a rumor. And Candace says, well, so is Jacelle's.

And so, this is where the microteinus is coming. Because Jacelle says, I wouldn't just meet a random dude in the the micro-penises come in. Because just as I wouldn't just meet a random dude in the street, that's not like me. And Lee goes, yeah, stranger tanger is so real. Like, I mean, you get to know a person and like, I'm scared of micro-penises. Because like, you know, that's why you have to see it right away. Because like, what if you get to know a person and then they have a micro deck like what are you gonna do with that? And then just like that can't be your fear in dating And they was like it is I mean like but then like why am I wasting my time dating you like I think I'm like on a dating app

And I think I'm dating at the guy should be should have to say is penis size like it's not fair to and there's like I have never seen a micro penis out in the world, but I am a penis ableist and I think a micro can contribute in some way and I don't I don't want to date one one of the seven dwarves, but like I don't want to shame them either. Am I right? Just all in Portia. Am I right? You guys hear this? I'm doing some good content. Good content here guys. Emma right you guys hear this I'm doing some good content good content here guys Any any could you make this I'm gonna make it a tweet Would you retweet it just followers over? I don't want micro followers. I want I want maxi followers And everyone's like that's ridiculous and Leah just keeps going no micro pianists right guys like my copain

It says and they're just like shut up you know and so I think this is so funny because lia's mo has always been like triggering the older generation oh is like a girl with mommy issues who is just trying to trigger Ramona right yes worked it worked every single time and then it would lead to these big fights where she could be like fuck you mom so she's trying that with this cast and this cast is just like, you're a fucking idiot. You know, no one's mad. They're just like, shut up, you child.

No one's disgusted. They're just calling her ownership, which is what episode three is all about. So now they go to the table, and they're like, they're gonna order food and stuff, and Whitney's asking, Whitney's asking Porsche at the KFC came and Porsche was like, yeah, I'm just, you didn't tell me. So Candace goes, I have a question.

I have a question. My marriage has always been solid. And right now, we're going through a patch of roughness because we haven't been able to see each other for about three days. So Chris took a job where he always worked and it's been a stressful time and the show exacerbates it. Do you all feel like the show has negatively affected your relationships or your marriage? Just the way in mind has so dramatically, like she keeps on really trying to like drive

this thing of like, we are in peril right now. I know she's really doing this whole guy's the plight of a restaurant manager you know like nobody cares so Chisel just like well yeah I mean public scrutiny kills it it's bad for every relationship I mean your husband can't even cheat on you anymore without being called out on social media I mean I was dating a perfectly nice person and everybody gave him shifka and blowjobs a park. I mean, how are you supposed to date? She's like, yes, it's so hard.

Having a relationship in the public eye, your husband can't even go into a hotel room to have a conversation with someone without that person accusing them of being sexually awkward or offensive or whatever. So... And Candace is like, well, Portia, what are you gonna say? Why don't you take it? Why don't you answer? And Portia's like, no, why don't you say it then? Because you came up, you came out with the rumors and blogs and all this other stuff. So Candace is like, well, what I knew is that his ex-wife

you met on camera and then you knew her and then you became friends and then you ended up with her husband two minutes later. And the streets say, you stole somebody's man, and then we see tweets that are like, damn, Portia stole Felens husband, her pool, and apparently her wedding ring. Yeah, which is true,

but didn't we learn later that the, that Felens got pregnant by the pool boy or something? Yeah, and I think that's actually even addressed here. But I still feel like the, we learned it literally. We learned it literally in about three lines, but I still content that there's some shading that's going on because the timing of that announcement,

the day after the reunion aired, I was like, mm, I'm sorry, something is weird. And then the fact that she then left the show didn't want to talk about it on the show, I was like, mm, I'm sorry, something is weird. And then the fact that she then left the show, didn't want to talk about it on the show. I was like, mm, supporters like, well what actually happened is I'm on a show and they say they're bringing in a new wife. And then I met our husband

and I didn't really pay any attention to him at the time because he's just like a weird old guy. And then I knew him already and stuff. I feel like fast-forward, it didn't work out for her. And she left. knew him already and stuff. I feel like fast-forward. It didn't work out for her. And she left. So, okay. So, I don't understand this. So, supposedly Simon was friends with her ex-husband, the hot dog, entrepreneur guy, Dennis. And that's how she'd met him before, but didn't recognize him, which I don't believe. So then basically, I don't know what it is.

Okay, so just like all help, failing allegedly cheated on Simon, thing got pregnant. So Simon was done with the marriage anyway because his wife knocked up by the pool boy allegedly. And then Porsche says, yeah, and then after that, she announced they were getting to forest. So I hit him up in the DM saying,

heard about your divorce, hope you're doing good. And he hit back and was like, let's get married. So she did come after like right in a vulnerable time. But it's not as bad as I thought. It's not as bad, but there's still some, I don't know, I, I think there's a missing,

there's a missing piece here. There's a missing piece here. There's some, I don't know. I think that's like, it's a little odd like she DMs, she DMs him to be like, like, praying for you guys. Did she have a bad, I thought she was friends with Fallon first.

I can feel like a little bit of a girl, Cody, infraction there. I don't think she knew Fallon before they met. I mean, she was brought on as supposedly knowing Fallon, but I don't think that that's real. I mean, I don't know. I'm an apologist if I like somebody. So I'm like, she did nothing wrong. And Fallon is one of the guy pregnant by the pool boys.

So. And Fallon, and I kind of feel bad for Fallon because really my dominant image of Fallon is her like in scales, fat thawed Halloween party. Like, which is that crazy, crazy costume where her body was scaly. She was like a swamp monster or something. She had like the yellow eyes. She was like a swamp monster or something. She had the yellow eyes.

She comes running out with a golf club. That's just all I think about with Fallon. Yeah. So then Porsche gives her story, right? And she's like, well, he said, hit me up. And then when he was in Atlanta, we got together. And I said, well, before we even go on a date, I want you to email me the divorce papers. Like, so it's like, oh, well, you know. And this is where it gets, this is where it gets bolstered. Did you scroll down when he sent them, did you scroll down? Because you know what, that's a big, big factor.

You learn a lot when you scroll down. And Lee is like, oh, so you're being very thorough, then. May, that sounds very thorough. And she goes, yeah, I had to be. I'm a public figure. And I don't want to represent that. And she signed it and it was a done deal, but it wasn't finalized because it was just sitting on a judge's desk. So technically, they were still married, but not really. And they got engaged

in under a month. And, you know, and Portia had a hard time without the public ticket and now her fans were so disappointed. She's like, but you know, if youia had a hard time without the public ticket and now her fans were so disappointed. She's like, but you know if you move with a good heart and you just stand on the truth, truth will always trump a rumor. So. You know what was found the truth of time? Truth.

All you have to do is look at the history books. So Heather's like, I mean, listen, I'm all about taking a man. I was like, oh, god. She's trying so hard to impress Jacelle and Forrest. She's trying so hard to be like down. She keeps on saying the most ridiculous thing. I'm all about taking a man. I mean, if you can find a man who likes you more than whoever's with your whiz, I'll

take a man. I will leave. I don't mean. Forrest, I should say whoever. I thought for cheese with. She's like, if you find a man and he likes you better than his girlfriend, I will leave. I don't- Pasha, I should say whoever she is with. She's like, if you find a man, and he likes you better than his girlfriend, then take him.

You're not. Yeah, either way, but she's so try to be- Pasha, am I right? Sisters forever. You're bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, we can work on our, our, our couple name. Come on, come on, high five. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, Paul, Paul, we can work on our couple name. Come on, come on high five.

Pad better. I don't even know where they're being came from. That's how much I like you. Horses, that works, right? Horses. That's going. It's Heather, Heather and Porsche. So Whitney is like, I'm not proud of it,

but I've taken a man. So I win. Wait a minute. Does that make me sound proud of it? I should, can we do that again? And Marisol's like, I mean, I'm looking at Porch's ring. That's a good ring. I take that man. She took a good man. So Alexia is like, okay, well, this is a woman's show and like a lot of men are embarrassed. And like, he's in like business and real estate and is like, I don't need this show. woman's show and like a lot of men are embarrassed and like he's in like business and real estate

and it's like, I don't need this show. That's Todd. I'm talking about Todd right now. Like he's like, he like doesn't need this show. Okay, that's why he only shows up most episodes and then starts yelling at other people, you know? And like, you know, I will walk away if necessary. Okay, this is like my third marriage

and like, I'm just like not so interested in fame and my brand. Like if he says, I should walk away, like I will walk away for a tour. I will do that. Yeah, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You've been married three times, you should know by now. Those are temporary.

How so I've just forever, okay? They'll be replaying on Saturdays for the rest of your life. Okay, fun. Keep housewives, ma'am. Yeah. So, Jacelle's like, uh, so, and also Alexia, I've heard all this stuff like the gay husband, there was the gay husband, right? There was the gay husband.

And she's like, oh, yes, my ex-husband, and I'm when he passed away, I found out it was he was in a relationship with a man, you know, they've been asking me to do gay pride. This story is so good, guys, you have to hear it, you have to hear it. Come on, say it Alexia, say it. So yeah, my ex-husband when he passed away, I found out he was in a relationship with a man and Leah's just fanning herself, just this music's great. She goes, oh yeah, I know this story already.

It's a little bit of a snooze fest. Snooze fest, this is the greatest story that ever happened on housewise. What are you talking about? Elicit gay sex, love affair, an escort, all this stuff? I've, we've been dealing with this story for 10 years and I'm still love to get every single time. So Alexia tells the story again,

but he has already heard it in the car, right? So Alexia's like, well, we were separated a year and we never divorced legally because he was bisexual and I know that because he married me but obviously we were together so he wanted me. Oh, I'm just bored. I've like heard it all earlier. Just like bored. Can you talk about like something more interesting? Like the time like, I don't know, like you

miss your grandma's funeral something like that. So bored. Yeah, and they pause on Leah's face being bored and put a thought bubble and then you see Alexia saying the same story before. And Leah's like, well, I think like Alexia has a loop. Oh, really, Lee, tell us about your grandmother again. Let's talk about fucking loops. Okay, please, please do. Yeah. So, Lee is like, guys, like,

why don't you guys like order shots or something? Can you guys get like drunk or something? You do something fun. Like, it's like, oh oh well, we had to get together by cell phone and the attorneys and like the accountants and they'd get the bookkeeper, bookkeepers and they were like, oh you're the best for you to pick this part.

I'm so bored right now. It's just like the most boring thing is ever fucking happening. I'm like so bored. Leah, this is like an amazing story. It's like the Spielberg show of the 80s. Amazing story, starring Alexia. Go on, Alexia. And Mary soul tells us. I, the O's me, the story of Alexia and her non-slife is boring. What

fascinates her? Being afraid of tiny penises. That's what that's what Lee is about. And there's like, this is the most rifting story of her lifetime. Okay, this is something that brings together alphas and betas. That's one big, alphabets soup of personalities. Alphabet soup? And Lee is like, sorry, bored, and Alexia says, oh, you want to go back to your story, talking about your micro-penises? We could do that. You think we could do that. What's a micro-penis? Anybody want to talk about micro-penises? I don't. Just like we already talked about that mom.

Yeah, she's like I didn't mean to disrespect you and she says well you dance to you like seeing stories boring And she says I didn't say it was boring and she goes you sound it was a snooze fast You said you're bored and you just don't do that. Don't do that. Don't try to make a comeback from me Yeah, don't try make me get in a fight with her Yeah, don't try to make me get in the fight with her. I think as every wine's to Leah two seconds ago being like, this is a snooze fast fucking board. I'd rather be lose both of my eyes right now in a traffic accident than listen to this. It's like the worst. Marisol's like, are you kidding me, Leah?

You just said that Marisol, like you're in a bad mood because your stomach hurts. Don't take it out on me. It's not my fault you're drinking vodka every morning. It loving Mary Sol's face. Mary Sol's face is like, how dare someone suggest I'm drinking too much. And then it's like in loving memory of Mama Elsa patent 2019. So, uh, it's like, okay. But that actually was nice,

I don't think that they ever had a chance to give an in loving memory of Mama Elsa, probably because the show was off the air. Yeah, God bless Mama Elsa, we love you. God bless. Well, that was episode two, and we'll be back with episode three on the next episode. So thanks everyone for being here for listening

and for watching, hi, and we'll catch you on the next episode. So thanks everyone for being here for listening and for watching. Hi, and we'll catch you on the next one and we'll see everyone in Seattle and San Francisco. Bye everyone. Bye, watch what happens, we'd like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone. She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-o-s. Dana-C.

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