Watch What Crappens - SC Nola: When The Pregnancy Tests Go Marching In

Episode Date: June 5, 2018

The "Southern Charm: New Orleans" season draws to a close, but not before Jon Moody flashes his abs one last time. And thank God. We're here to recap it all, from Reagan's pregnancy scare to the latest Tamica/Gian drama. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Watch what crap is! Watch what crap is! Who cares what happens when there's so much that crap is! Who happens? Who happens? And who cares what crap is! Who cares what crap is! Watch what crap is! I've got a cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket cramp in my pocket Hey everyone, welcome to Watch a Crap, Benz podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker, and joining me today as always is the wonderfully charismatic and lovely man of a million emotions. Ronnie Carram, how's it going Ronnie? Oh, happy! Ronnie also has another podcast called The Rose Pricks Batch the Rose, so everyone should go check

that out because it's hugely hilarious for all you bachelor bachelor fans. And today it's Tuesday and we are going to do something a little different, you know, because Banner Pump Rules is gone. We got to plug these holes in our schedule and what better way to plug a hole than by bringing some love to Southern Charm New Orleans, huh? Yeah, what a nice whole plug. What a nice. No plug.

Speaking of plugs, let's plug our own show. We have, we're going all across the country, bringing our podcasts to live venues, a totally exciting, fun energy. If you've never been to one of our live shows, you really have to come, especially because we don't know when we're going back to many of these cities. So go to watch our crappins.com to get your tickets next up as Phoenix, where we're gonna talk Real House House in New York, and then two days after that, we're going to San Francisco to discuss Southern Charm, which has everyone buzzing right now. So come, let's all buzz together. For both those shows,

it's gonna be a wild, hilarious time You have to see us live because it's just it's the best you're with your people You are with your people watch our crap in the comm to get tickets and while you're there Make sure you check out our merch including our what's the matter? What's happening? What's going on t-shirt? Which is available? How long is that available until? End of the month and a June and it's on to the next search. Yeah limited time only. Limited edition was a matter what's happening going on short. So go get that and you know that's how you can all we have links to everything social media Patreon everything is there so

go do that and you'll sleep better at night, I promise. And now for what we have all gathered together for the real housewives of New Orleans. So we were like, as soon as the schedule opens up, we are giving Southern Charm New Orleans its own day, its own special like on its own recap because we've been pairing it with regular Southern Charm, and there it is. Here it is, we're finally doing it. And this is the last episode of the season. Sorry. Sorry.

These things happen, you know? So the episode opens up with like New Orleans, New Orleans, Nola, you know, like Bourbon Street and Ben Yees and stuff. And I don't know if you noticed this, Ronnie. They were totally doing that. Ladies, a London thing where like the screen sort of freezes and then like a flag appears in the background and then part of the screen goes away. It's like it turns into, it's like a sort of, it becomes colorized and a transition.

Did you notice that? Yeah, I love all the production on this show. I mean, just the, just the B-rolls of I love all the production on this show. I mean, just just the B-rolls of the town and the music is so good. And then we get to Barry putting up a whiteboard. What the hell? It's like, that's great music. It's like, flesh is a new Orleans. Everything's exciting. It's a party all the time. Hey, we're going to put up a whiteboard in your room, okay? Just don't bang on it. Well, to be fair, everyone was doing something very exciting because then we went over to Justin and he's ironing. Yeah. Kelsey's like, well, you iron my shirt,

you're good at it. Are your hands clean? This is a white dress, and I know when you're at work, you scratch your butt. He's like, truth. True or? Yeah. I kind of like the idea that Justin is really good at ironing. And I also think it's hilarious that he gets his paw prints over it on everything too. Yeah. He's like me. I have Ronnie Muck. You know, like I could never commit a crime because there's just hand prints everywhere. I'm a slimy swamp monster. It's like one of those like, you know, like in a cartoon when there's like a crime committed and There's like very distinct like footprints and hand prints. It's like you're it's like your hands Yes, I also have very round feet like a Flintstone

So my foot print. There'll be anybody who's ever even met me will be like that's Ronnie And then we wind up we settle in on John Moody who is just swimming in a pool with his amazing body, but you know, the poor guy, like he really, as he comes out of the pool, he's like, you know, holding onto the handrail and it's like, he should not stand to things that provide a scale for us, you know. Yeah, it's a standard way you were going with that. He's as big as the handbrail in the pool. He was like, he was basically like hanging off of it, like a jungle gym, whatever, just like,

he's like, I reached the handlebar. Yeah, I did it! He's also swimming in his underwear because you know, they're wide underwear and then he paints in his underwear and it's very difficult for me to mix art and dickers. Like, I'm gonna think of something that rhymes with commerce, but I can't. Cock, cockers.

Um, because he's like such a, like, he's a really good artist, obviously, but I'm like, you're destroying it with your like, I don't know, I want my artist to be depressed, you know? I want you to like get really mad and cut off your ear and mail it to somebody. That's what I want in my armist, okay? I don't want some fucking hot guy in white underwear, so he gets a good dick shot on D.V. on Bravo. Yeah, it's hard for me to accept that his art can be good because he seems to be totally vapid and he obviously like he I feel like an art who artists cares

about nothing except the art and that he, I mean, stereotypically. And yet he obviously takes care of his body so well and he says all these dumb things all the time and he says things like it's the John Moody experience I'm maybe painting live. I'm like, how does this translate into good art? Because like, but it does.

It does, I know, it's so weird. It's like it's strange. I know it sucks. It totally, it totally goes against everything you believe. I know it's so weird. It's like it's strange. I know it sucks. It totally it totally goes against everything You believe him. I believe that we's the country believe it. Okay. It's like finding out that Matisse also really enjoyed watching Reruns of yes dear. It's like Georgia O'Keefe is addicted to the Big Bang theory and George O'Keefe is addicted to the Big Bang theory and a lot of these laughs and like spray tan. Yeah, Monet is like the biggest fan of Patricia

Heaton. You're like, wait a second. That's not, it doesn't work. No. You should like something on HBO. Picasso can't stop listening to him, Bob. Yeah, it's like it's problematic. That's what I'm saying I'm so he's like yeah, I can't wait to do this performance I want to swing from a building with a paintbrush like really make it special, you know Like and then he's talking to Gian on the phone. He's holding the event that he's gonna be painting at and he's like I'm prepping the canvas. I definitely left the bottom white. And then I was like wow that's how I really wanted to look like it looks great. Yeah. And she's like he's so talented. Yeah he's like literally he's literally yammering

on about how he like only painted half of the canvas and then decided it looks awesome that way so he can keep it that way. And she's like great great well we'll see with the event. I'm like she must be bored out of his mind out of her mind Because you know this conversation was ten minutes if I'm talking about like so I did like a brushstroke to the left and then to the right And now it's like fire. It's like this the John Moody experience is like America right here This is and she's probably like my god. He's so dumb. I know she's like can we face time this at least so I can see your dick through your underwear Yeah, that's really why I I know, she's like, can we FaceTime this at least so I can see your dick through your underwear? That's really where I'm here, okay? I would have liked to see more outline, I'm gonna be honest.

As long as it was there, we should be able to see more outline. I don't know why that made me cough. It was a poignant sentiment. Sorry everybody, nice cough in your face. So then we go to the central business district where Tamika's meeting up with Susan and Rachel and For I get I thought it was I think it's breakfast, but then they're all getting French 75s and I am So Tamika starts by being nice because she made a big drama of course

At the last party which she does at every party. She's like let me say something about your your party your food was so good it was so good and we're like I'm a fantastic cook I love to find things about being their southern landy flowers, things, things, things, sounds, I'm domesticated when I'm gonna be there for you, meanwhile caught you today and it's official. They're separated. Oh yeah, I didn't see that one coming. I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, not me, man, for you, now. Okay, we're getting a divorce, that's it, man. I think what bothers me about Reagan is that I know that we'd be friends in real life.

And because I know that bitch watches Barefoot Contessa, I feel it, and I hate that, that we will totally bond about it, we'll like do dinner parties together. Like, we will be friends. And I hate that about myself. And while it was kind of like a John Moody thing, you know, where you're like, this none of this makes sense. Like someone like Regan, when she's such a good cook

and the food she makes looks so delicious and it's like right up my alley, everything she makes. And it's like, oh, I know. I hate that I love that. I know. And you know I love that. I know. And you know that like John Moody, like if you're friends with him, you probably always feel so cool when you hang out with him. He just has that thing, you're like, ah, he's so dumb, but so hot.

And also like, he's like a really nice person to me. Damn him for being friendly to me. Yeah, damn Reagan and her gumbo. Still mad about it. I know, I'm so mad. I'm so mad that I get along so well with Reagan and my hypothesis. Yeah, and you're fanficking your head. So to me, it's like, home, let's just, but let's just prove even further that we're nowhere near Real Housewives of Atlanta. And I'll start this off by saying, let's talk about the elephant in the room. Blue. Hey, blue.

Yeah, let's talk about, so she wants to talk about Gion because Gion has now blocked her on all social media. Tamika heard a rumor that Gion had blocked her and she looked it up and sure enough, she's been blocked and Tamika's like, that is so high school. I'm like, you're the one who said, last time I checked, you weren't married. So you know, you started it. Yeah. And she goes, I'm not sending you're the one who said, last time I checked, you weren't married. So, you know, you sold it. Yeah, and she goes, I'm not sending you dick pic, click pic, so why are you blocking me?

I love that that's the only reason she would ever block somebody. I know. Dick pics, that's the only feasible reason to block somebody. And what I was surprised that was that everyone really had to meet his back. I thought everyone was gonna say, well, you know,

I mean, Barry did say the F word and she doesn't wanna be associated with that and I think that makes sense, but instead they're gonna say, well, you know, I mean, Barry did say the F-word and she doesn't want to be associated with that And I think that makes sense, but instead they're all like, yeah, she's like jealous of you And you know what it is she just you know what she feels less than you so she just lashes out. That's what she's doing I was like, no, I think she just doesn't want to be Yeah, Susan Susan was the one who said that and Susan really did have that face on her when Tumika is going on about like I mean, I don't have a problem with her. So why is she blocking me? Like she completely cut off ties with Barry for no reason and they kept cutting the Susan and she's giving this face like

Well, you were wrong stupid. Yeah, but then Susan's the one he's like, well, maybe she just doesn't feel better than you as he antithesis of that Okay, she doesn't feel full. Okay, she doesn't feel better than you see antithesis of that, okay? She doesn't feel full, okay? She doesn't feel full, guys. I was shocked, Susan seems to be like the voice of reason of all of Bravo. She seems like, she seems like so smart, and she has like a really good perspective on a lot of things, and I was shocked that she was like, well, she just seems less, like maybe she feels less than

or something, I was like, what? Cause I mean, really I think what we've said this before, but I think what, like reading I was like, what? Because I mean, really, I think what we've said this before, but I think what, like, reading between the lines, it's not so much that Barry just, he said it, it's one thing. But the fact that it's on reality TV and Gion apparently has businesses and it's like, I don't know how this is going to be edited or how it's going to make me look.

So I'm going to distance myself. I think that's what it was. It's like, she wants to see how, because it's on TV It's not just him saying it Yeah, and then Chimicapulzer aside and then humiliates her on purpose on TV Yeah, I'm shocked. I'm really shocked that she stopped following you you ask yeah So Susan's like well, you're on a board and she's on the same board. I'm like this is just a made-up thing this board

Okay, we've already seen a board. Yeah it's just literally like a plank of wood like you're both on a board. So we go to commercial and I didn't realize that the Southern Charms Savannah trailer had been released because we saw a commercial for it and just from the commercial alone so here are my takeaways commercial for it. And just from the commercial alone, so here are my takeaways. The one who seemed to get the most erotime and the most like phrases was the gay guy. What's her face is like mentor, like the interior design mentor. I don't I don't remember any of their names except for Ashley. Yeah, I don't either. We didn't see and Ashley is the one who's not coming back. But she was not there. She's not a full-time cast member. Nope, she got demoted.

And then now they have a new girl who looks just like the girl, the other girl, Catherine. She looks just like her to me. Oh, Catherine, yeah. Well, she looked like Ashley also. Well, the girl she ends the commercial. She says something like, oh, well, Savannah. And then she sort of looked like Ashley, but answered like Catherine. I saw Catherine in the promo.

I saw Lowe. I saw Hannah. Is there her name is Hannah? And I saw Hannah's, was Dan, well, but there's Daniel and Hannah's, what was Hannah's sock, sock fiance? I don't know. I scrapped it off from my memory. I'll remember when we have to.

Okay. But either way, I just call them sought-by. Yeah, but no Nelson either, by the way. And no happy. I didn't see happier awesome either. Yeah, but they were never full-time cast members, so they'll still probably come back. Well, whatever. I'm excited. It looks glossier. It does. It looked a little, a little sharper. I think if I remember from the scuttle, but Southern Charms Savannah was like a different production company

I think then regular Southern Charm and I think that that it was taken over again by the Southern Charm people to sort of like right It's ways. I think. Oh, well the kind of straight the the the hot straight the jacks of the show, you know that guy is like I don't take baths and I screw a lot of women. And I'm more because my dad committed a crime. But now maybe I'm not going to be poor anymore. That guy, he came back looking like the the butler from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. Like all scraggly, like he has really long, like, you know, really long, weird, gray, frizzy hair. I'm not really sure what's going on with him. But yeah, I'm excited for that show. I really love Savannah. I I liked Savannah. I it got better as it went along like the first half was like a little to

Like mundane in terms of like who are these people? But then the second half has started to become it started it had a good finale And but I think I actually so far It had a good finale. But I think I actually so far, you know, of the spin-offs between New Orleans and Savannah. I like New Orleans more. But I will be watching Savannah. I'm happy to bring it. I'm happy you got a second chance.

Yeah, we'll be back on the Savannah train. I mean, they really did make up for everything in that end when Kyle proposed. And then Catherine's like, how dare you propose to me on national TV? God damn it! And then they all ditched Ashley's two-hour charity gala that went from seven to nine and the two-hour rental barn. Oh my god, that's so. That was funny. Okay, I like Southern term Savannah.

Okay, so back to New Orleans. Now we're back at Tamiqa's house and Barry is there and he's like cleaning a countertop and she comes in from hearing about what I don't know what it is, but she comes in from this brunch. She's like, I feel emotionally abused. I'm like, you just had 75s over breakfast. Yeah. So I had lunch with the girls, and I told them what happened,

John, and they were on the same team telling me, what should I do next? And I feel bad for saying I'm married, and you're not. Like, that, I feel bad for, because we could have been divorced. It's like she's trying to think what to say, and then she says it all really, really bad. Your impersonation of her is hilarious. It's actually kind of like

taking both workers twins, putting them into one and slowing them down a little bit. It's like adding a double space after the period. I don't know. Some you practice and some, you know, it's like sometimes I just think I'm gonna practice Timmica. Why not? I was practicing my Justin and my John Moody, and I'm sure they will come off as crazy, but so yeah, to Mika's just, she's just babbling on about Gianna Barris, just like,

ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. You know, it's like he doesn't wanna talk about it, but he does, because they're what they talk about. The advocate is so weird. But yeah, because the more they talk about it, he's like, I'm trying to get my business back.

Yeah, exactly. The more money he's going to lose. He's like, okay, just so you know, my manager was like, what's going on with Gion's card? And she basically canceled her membership because of the conversation that you had. Oh, let me guess. Let me guess.

She canceled her gym membership. Oh, so her.. Let me guess. She canceled her gym membership. Oh, so her. It's so her. It's so her. I'm like, so her. Well, what did you expect? She's his client, and you mount after her and said, at least I'm not like, who hears married, not you, bitch.

That's basically what you said. To his client, what did you expect for just to sit there and still give you money? And to me, and to sit there and like still give you money And to me because and to me because the one who accuses Geon of not being able to differentiate between professional and friendship Etc. Etc. When it's a mecha who fully treats a professional contact like a friend even if she does know her for 20 years It's like at the end of the day right now. She is a client to meker And so very is like well how about you guys just not talk it's like oh no I have stuff to say I have things to say

for instance did you know this countertop could use some more cleaning Barry how about that I'll just put that oh so Justin and Kelsey, so they have just, they're moving into his mom Doddy's house today. Basically his mom is Lucille Bluth. Okay, let's just, let's just get that out of the way. She's, she's Lucille Bluth. I think maybe future, because right now she seems so nice. She thinks she's got like a little hidden Lucille Bluth.

It's about to pop out. Oh my God, Justin is Buster and she is Lucille. It is like, like it's like beyond obvious to me. So they're moving in and the mom, like the mom's sitting there at the table and they walk in with pillows and she's like, oh, I didn't realize you were coming in today. I'm like, you are mic'd up and there's a cameraman

in your room. You're like, this is gonna be like A.C. TV. I'm so stupid because I always forget that part like I I just buy into it too much because I'm like oh my god. He didn't even call her I'm mad I Like how do you not call dot her name is daddy. I forget it. Yeah, Miss Doddy He's like hey Miss Doddy and she's like yeah, I didn't know you were coming today

And he goes well, you, my mom was really tough. But all that stuff she did is a kid. It really made me the man I am today. I'm like, you're the accidentase guy on the back of a bus. That exactly did. It's not like you're, you know, taking on the biggest cases in the country. You're living a dear mom's house.

Oh my God. There is a guy across the street for me this big old fat Dude with a beard smoking outside as a window. Oh, he just spat and he's shirtless If you guys I'm gonna take a picture and this is gonna go up on our face But I need people to see what I see when we podcast. This is gonna be this is Where is this dude? He's just standing on his balcony or what? His head is out his window. Here, I'm gonna say- I'm gonna say the photo.

Oh wait, I'm sending you the photo. This is happening live right now. This is important. This is in the spirit of New Orleans, I think. It's festive. Okay, so Ronnie, this is- This is what I look at when we- when we podcast. And it's actually appropriate for this show. This is- this is- this is Justin's future. Did you get it? Oh my God, hold on, I'm enlarging.

Oh! Oh! Oh! And he just spat. We'll put that on the show. I feel like I didn't make fun because that's, so that so could be me. He does this, like, I really just like,

a few extra maps and that could be me. He does it's like a really just like a few extra maps. That could be me. Oh my god. That's funny. So anyway, so Kelsa they're moving in. Kelsa actually got a talking head moment. It's like her first time ever getting a talking head and she's just basically talking about moving into Justin's childhood room and how it's gonna be weird because the mom will still treat him like a child. You know, it's happening. Yeah, and he's like, no, she won't. And she's like, honey, how are you doing? It's everything.

Like, of course. Me and your peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Do you want something? Because if you want something, you can make a downstairs yourself, Kelsey. Yeah, exactly. I did get that vibe because Chelsea's like, yeah, you know, you're gonna act like a child again. Oh speaking of what is this? He's like that's my bowling shirt. She's like what's this? He's like that's my kickball Jersey That's this black dynamite. She's just cracking up

Yeah And in this like giant it's like it's I mean it's a big house in general, but the bedroom is like this It's a giant room and it's like all Ashley front of your turn, you know? So he's like, all right, Kels, there's gonna be a delay with that, I'm just doing Thomas Rafe on all voice now. He's like, there's gonna be a delay in the house and she's like, oh God, there's gonna be a delay.

So this means that we're not gonna be moving in in three to four months. And of course, you should have told me and just developed between our partners. Of course you wait until we're in your mother's house to tell me this. Exactly, that's what you said last time that there was a delay.

I mean, more delay than a B. And then it turns to the well, if you just let me talk, just let me talk. I'm letting you talk. We have been letting me talk. I'll say, well, I'm letting you talk. Well, how about why I want to talk? No, you don't get to talk. I want to talk. One of those things. And then Daddy's like, you guys said you wanted water. Bring some bottles. He's like, yeah, it's getting hot in here, mom. And she's like, well,

I certainly heard some voices. I heard some loud, shrill, bitchy female voices who should be so lucky to have a roof over their heads, those kind of voices. And she's like, well, I'm just saying that Justin makes all the decisions and everybody's like, what are you even doing with her? Because, you know, it's like, she makes all the decisions and blah, blah, blah, and Dottie goes, well, hmm. Kelsey, it's not, Chelsea, Kelsey. It sounds like you should just internalize it You know like you're thinking everybody's saying that you shouldn't be internalizing that okay I know that people who know you as a couple and they admire your relationship They say look at that Kelsey girl how lucky is she to be with Jesse was he was see they call him black dynamite on the kickball team growing up I made him that Jersey myself

Okay, I'll admit it. I named him black dynamite. I gave him his own nickname Well look I'm getting a call from a friend. She says congratulations to that housey who's living in your house on finding such a dynamite partner. There, feel better. Justin, do you want another Ben Yee? Or are you feeling, would you like that? Kelsey, would you like some tape on your mouth before I go? Okay. So Kelsey, I heard that Justin had some heartburn the other night and you did nothing about it.

I guess that's, I guess, I guess it's just the Justin show, huh? I guess it's just my, just my son, you know, just dying, having his heart dying on a bed and you just, it's just the Justin show to you, huh? Anyway, don't internalize this. Just, I don't want you to internalize this, Kelsey, but you know, sometimes our house is being in New Orleans and all speak to us and that you're about to move into

a cracked foundation, says a lot. So don't internalize that. Just please put a sock in your Orleans and all speak to us and that you're about to move into a cracked foundation says a lot. So don't internalize that, just please put a sock in your mouth and keep quiet. Thank you for being here. I mean, what do I know? I'm just the best mother ever, according to the mug that Justin got me and mugs don't lie, so. But what do I know? I'm just a vain, glorious legend.

Oh, being the woman in Justin's life. Vane glorious legend Oh being the woman in Justin's life I can say with authority It's time for you to be quiet young lady Well anyway, just like I hope you enjoy that water I know you always enjoy water and moments when you get heated It's something for Kelsey to learn when she someday decides that she gets off her ass and takes care of you But until then on here with some waters. Yeah, the drive he has was for the both of you, because he works way harder than you,

and you're gonna need somebody to pay the bills. Okay, good seeing you. And Justin's like, oh, well, what? The woman's always right. Is that how it is? He's like, oh, you're hot. You were really digging your grave today, sir. And Kelsey's like, okay, great.

Well, this was the first example of how it is to be around your fucking parents, Justin. So thanks, because she gave great advice. That's how I saw it. It's like, by relation. It's like you're welcome. You're welcome. So now comes actually a scene that I really loved.

Tamika decides to bring Rainie, her daughter, to go talk to Susan, basically about her identity and being a black girl and all that stuff, because Tamika feels like Rainie is not, Rainie is the daughter, and she feels like Rainie isn't gonna open up to her because it's like the mom and don't want to open up to mom, but since Susan, it's like a little bit removed,

but Susan's sort of in the same space as to make it in terms of like they both work in entertainment, et cetera. Anyway, long story short, she brings Rani to Susan's radio station and they sit down and Susan decides interview Rani about school and everything like that. And it was just like I thought, one of those really great scenes of like, you know, imparting advice to young kids. As much as I'm like, oh, children are so annoying,

which they are, I do, you know, I do have a soft spot of seeing moments like this on TV. Yeah, Rani's pretty cute, but don't be worried that your child's always crying when you name her Rani, you know? Don't read my own. She's an odd raid. Yeah, so the assistance thing is she thinks that Rainey's trying to identify as a white girl because she painted a picture for family and the skin wasn't dark enough for Susan. So she was saying she has skin dysmorphia or color dysmorphia. Yeah. And basically just saying, you know, the girl, she's the only black girl in a school full

of white kids and that's like important for her to, you know, like, have a greater understanding of who she is as a black girl and to know that it's like it's okay if your skin is dark and it's okay that your hair is different, things like that. Yeah, and the big takeaway here is that Tamika was being a good mom because the last time we saw Tamika with Rainy, she was such an asshole with her. She was like, Sarah, she was crying at another party. Uh, set up with your crying. I'm not raising weak losers, okay? Yeah, and so, you know, they're just asking about her and, you know, kids touch her hair because it's like fluff, and she's like, don't say it's fluffy, it has volume. And then there's some girls who are mean to her, you know, just sort of, nothing was necessarily

like attached to race, but just typical childhood stuff, you know? And, you know, the, and Mika's like, listen, I made a child who was meant to stand out, not to fit in, it was like all nice stuff. And then there's this really sweet moment where it's like, what makes you happy? And she's like, I'm happy when I got to be around my whole family.

And then she starts to cry and they hug her. It's nice. Maybe they hit her on the head with a fly swatter. We're crying. That was so nice. That was nice. That was nice. That was nice.

I got a little squirty at that point. I was like, good. I was like talking to your baby. She loves a mama. She loves a mama. It's Susan too. Susan's so great. I love that Susan.

And then she goes, what would I do without you and Rainy goes, you wouldn't do anything without me. She goes, God, I deserve you. This is such the perfect end to that. Hello, this is Lisa Rina. We have an ad coming up. So you better listen to it, baby. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert-experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts, you can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app.

So then we... So Jeff is with a reggae and... Well, there's the dogs first and the dogs are ignoring him. So it's like even the dogs in your poor Jeff. Yeah, poor Jeff. He's like, did you come here? Did you? Okay. Marcus, Marcus, you come here. Marcus, I'm putting the 2-2 on you, Marcus.

God damn it. He's like, I have an entire thing of raw meat that you can eat. No, you just don't even want that? No? I'm afraid still don't even want that? No? I'm freezing. So, I'm like, I'm like, Jeff, I'm making the best gumbo you've ever had, Jeff.

I went from lawyer mode to kitchen mode. I haven't made gumbo in a long time, Jeff. Tomatoes in the gumbo was like, well, there should be tomatoes in the gumbo Did someone say something? I feel like someone said something. Oh Jeff, you're there. I didn't see you He's like I've been standing here for 10 minutes talking to you You're not hitting yourself in the head Jeff stop hitting yourself. So come not. Yes, you are Jeff Stop it. I'm worried about you Jeff. I'm not doing anything

Gaslighter biggest fucking gas lighter ever, this one. So they're eating the gumbo, which looks delicious. And then Jeff is like, well, just wait till you have kids to cook for. It's like, Jeff. I'm just as view-lar-barc'd, I say. It says, she's shoe-barking. So see, view-large is just adding the street cap, everybody. She's shoe-barking. Yeah. So he's like, we should have babies because you are as cook enough for 12 people anyway.

She's like, how did this go from a nice dinner to children, Jeff? Yeah. And basically it's kind of sad. What's interesting too because he's like, I'm on a, I'm on a shorter timeline because, you know, know most linebackers the average like life expectancy is 55 years old And I basically only have 21 years left and she's like Yeah Well cheesehouse next-piration date we like cheese so just focus on the positive jab It's like I'm damaged goods and she's like what's always everything at home goods? And that's why we love going there.

It's cheaper. Yeah, Jeff. You know, it's like when you get a banana that has a bruise on it, you can still eat the banana. So she basically, she doesn't want to have kids and she has a million excuses, why? It's like it's not the right time. She's not the, basically, she doesn't want to have kids with him. Like she, that's, there's basically, it's not the right time. She's not the, basically she doesn't want to have kids with him. Like she, that's pretty. There's basically, it's either that she doesn't see a future with him with kids or like, it's more like, she's like, oh God, he went running away and I was like a concrete quarry.

He's crazy. I married a crazy man. I don't think I want to have kids who are crazy. So. Yeah. I moved the Doverman passes by in the two two. You're like, okay, well, I see where she's coming from. So next is Barry's, Barry's butt.

Yes. Yeah, it's nice. So there you go. And then Tamra's like, why are you so hot? Tamika. Oh, Tamika. Tamra, you're a senior leader. Yeah, Tamra's like, everything is your fault.

Back. Tamika's like 14 like, everything is your fault back. To me, because like 14 years later, just managed to hot. Just make me like, want to take off my clothes and have sex with them? No, no, still no. What do you talk? I think bear is hot. So then her gay cousin comes over to fix her boobs and then Justin and Kelsey you're getting ready over at their place Everyone's getting ready, but basically while while Tamiq is getting ready Reagan calls and she's like oh my god. I'm eight days late on my period and

Oh my god like Don't tell please don't tell Barry this do not tell Barry Mimats on speakerphone and Barry's listening to the whole thing. Yeah, and she's like I won't tell Barry and he's like oh She goes oh my god like she said she might be pregnant and Barry goes well you've been late before she is yeah And I was pregnant she has one kids Well you didn't want kids either. I was like, geez, this show, my hope you're not showing your kids this show. You're terrible.

And Reagan's basically like, yeah, and because Reagan's basically like, I don't want to tell Jeff, because I don't want to get his hoax up. I'm like, you don't want to tell Jeff because you don't want the kids and you're the fewer pregnant. I don't know what's gonna happen,

but like you want to give yourself a contingency plan. Well, also, it's like she knows how Jeff is gonna be, which of course he is, the second he finds out. So then, let's see, so, oh yeah, so on this phone call, only on this show would you hear. Well, Rachel has a pregnancy test from the East Dry Cont. I'm like, is that they only one left in New Orleans? You can also just go to CVS.

You're driven by like 10 of them on this episode already. Like, oh my god, does the one pregnancy test that Rachel has? Is she still holding on to? I like when Rachel, when wrecking Gus. Don't know Barry, because he'll give Jeff baby looks all right. Which is so what happened. It's exactly what happened. Barry, over it.

So over it. Over it. By the way, we should take, they're all getting ready for the John Moody party. That's what they're all doing. Yeah. Which is where we're going next. Yeah. So Tameca is standing at the entrance, talking to Kelsey and Justin, and she looks like a giant.

I don't know if she's standing on a crate. It's like Tom Cruise in movies where he's always standing on a crate. Yeah. But like, geez, do you have to tower over? She's like, I need the highest deals, like, Anne and I want to be five feet taller than anybody else in this guy Yeah, so she's talking talking to Justin and Kelsey and then Gian is like right next to her and they're just Full on cold to each other just hating each other Yeah, so she's like can we thank you so much for doing this. Can we have a talk later, later, John, later we'll have to talk.

And Justin's like, ding, ding, there's about to be a fight in here. His mom arrives, it's like, okay, honey, here I got you some protective gears that way you're okay if there's a fight. Everyone leave Justin alone, black, dine, I might, will not stand for this. Hey, hey, honey, just so you know, if it gets a little too crazy in there, I'll be out front in my Nissan Santa and you can just pile in and we'll go somewhere else. So Jeff and Regan get there and she's wearing this kind of mermaidy dress and she can't walk, which is so Regan.

Yeah. It's Jessica Rabbit. Jessica Rabbit. And then Jeff, you know, I was happy for a second because it looked like Jeff got a little bit of a haircut. He still has this crazy, like, psycho, psycho, psycho, Mohawk hair, like back thing going on, but at least he had teamed a little bit.

But of course, by like a minute into the party, it was like flaring up in all sorts of directions. I was like, you know what? I think it's time to start committing to a buzz cut, Jeff. It's just, this is, this look, it makes me look like a white supremacist. I mean, I'll just say it. It's not, it's not, it's not really. Well, a buzz cut would really make him, don't you think?

No. No, you look like a white supremacist. Maybe shave your head. I'm not saying it's skinhead. I'm just saying a buzz, just this, it just looks too crazy with this hairstyle. I'm sorry, it's just giving full on like crazy vibes. And he looks so cute with it. I'll slick back and stuff.

It does look cute. When it's slick back, it looks like better, but it doesn't say slick back. It's too humid and I don't know what he, he runs his hand through his hair. So it just gets like crazy hair. It needs to just be tamed. And I'll say it's a failure of

Reagan that she was not able to do that. Yeah. Um, she was on the front lines there. That was like, I tried but he won't stop hitting himself. He's like, I'm not hitting myself. There you go again. Stop yelling. I'm not yelling. Is he on? So to me, just like, okay, Barry, remember the deal? No, I mean, he didn't really say this, but she's basically like, don't tell Jeff about the pregnancy test. He's like, got it. Don't tell Jeff about the pregnancy test.

Hey, Jeff, guess what I heard? Your wife's pregnant. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Oh my goodness! I want to be the fun dad in the Easter costume and watch cartoons! Like regular Saturdays, but with babies! This is gonna be... WAIT! He's already planning out everything. I've already booked, you know, a trip to Disney World. I've got sleds. I just got moon boots for if we ever go to Vermont with those sleds.

Um... He's like push, rag and push. I go, okay, calm down. I've already put just for three Le Mans classes. I got a predatled massage for you. So for another part of the party, Barry's talking to John and Kelsey. And he's like, hey, we're on the street.

Is you're going to do some live painting tonight. And John goes, don't believe what you hear on the street, believe what you hear from John Moody. Yeah. And Kelsey goes, God, I always think you're about to say something smart and every fucking time it's stupid. I don't get every time. When she said that, I was like, she's the hero of this show. I was like, believe 50% of what you hear, but believe 100% of what you hear from John Moody.

Because they're trying to make this, they They're trying to make Tomeca the regga, not the regga, the Cameron of the other show where she's doing all the openings and stuff like previously. But Cameron really is a voice of reason. And I think that next time it needs to either be Kelsey or Rachel, because I love Rachel. I mean, Rachel is my fucking favorite thing on this show. I like one of my favorite characters, like side characters after. I think she's so great. Kelsey, it's funny because everything Kelsey says is generally spot on. Like, and she is like, she's like a great girlfriend, you know?

Like, like, she's never, this sounds so condescending to say it. I'm not, and I'm not trying to say it in a condescending way, but like, she's never whining. She's totally patient with all of Justin's needs, you know, because he is like a man boy and she's been patient whenever she has an issue. She articulates it well. She's like cool and like he's so lucky to have her. And the fact that she just like shades John right to his face and doesn't even see even realize, that's great.

Like she is great. She's a keeper. Yeah. And then they show montage of John She's a keeper. Yeah. And then they show a montage of John just saying stupid shit. Yeah. So good. Oh God. He is, uh, he's pretty. At least he's pretty. Um, yeah. So Jeff comes up to Reagan and, uh, she's talking to somebody and he's like, you have time to talk now privately Disneyland sail on tickets got to get a Wet-free school or we sending our child here

Yeah, and he's like, I've been told not to say anything, but I cannot believe you have a tiny tiny little baby with a big gigantic red hair inside Can you take it you take a seat huh you just need a seat? She's like Well, like I think I need that own first, because I didn't want to tell you about it until I knew about it, and I knew that all the more you know, and I'm even thinking about it. Maybe I'll just go with the bathroom and think,

my tops are all wrong. So yeah, so Rachel arrives with the only pregnancy test in all of New Orleans, and so they rush into the bathroom with it. And in the meantime, well,, and so they like rush into the bathroom with it. And in the meantime, well actually they don't go into the bathroom just yet, because first there's like this moment where Gian is standing next to a cake, and then to me cause like, if you could throw that cake in anyone's face, who would it be? It's like dun dun dun. And Gian's like, well, I would throw it in my own face because you have to start with yourself. Like, come on, John, just say I'll throw it in to me because I just do

it. Just throw it in her face. Yeah, she's not even going to play that game. So to me, because like, fine, she won't play that game then all start. And she takes the cake and puts it on Barry's face in her own. And then they start like looking at off for each other's face in front of the G on. Yeah. Like, God, Tameekah never gives up. You got to head it to Tameekah for just never giving up. Yeah. So no, Jeff, Jeff Susan and Reagan are talking and Jeff's like, look, Reagan, she's glowing.

She's glowing. Cause she's going to be a mother. We're going to be parents. Then G-On and Tameek are having a talk finally. She's like, oh, can I talk to you? Can I talk to you? So they go talk and she's like, last week awful. Like, we've known each other 20 years.

Like, oh, oh, ridiculous. I, we should not have gone to that level. I'm like, you went to the level. Yeah, you shouldn't have gone to that level. And, Gian, I'm like, well, you said mean things to me. And I didn't get that And she make a ghost. Huh, we both job we both job like no she didn't jab at you. You jab you jab You were doing you were a big big old jabber. You did a big jabber walkie-jabb. You were like a jabber the hut jab

Okay, jabber You know you both princess lay out so we both said things that were terrible. Oh You know, she's like, well, you know, princess lay out. So we both said things that were terrible. Oh, awful. And she said, it's not what you say to me. It's how you say it. I was like, no, it was what she said. She said, yeah.

And she gets, well, you know me, but I don't apologize often. But I talked about your marriage and I'm sorry, truly, because like, look, we're like, we love the same man. We live in the same city. And I granted, I have a better man. and I live in a better part of the city that's a successful marriage and uh all you seem to like all of my men and I don't seem to like any of your men because you don't actually have any men in your life at all but we're like very similar in that way I mean I have a better wig but you

know we're very similar like you like me but only you know what I mean I do like things well thanks for pulling me aside because you know Now we're ever speaking is not how to coexist Okay, if I were ever to have some sort of lonely existence where I had no friends and no romantic prospects I would want it to be just like yours All the branch all a garden I mean Which of you we both know what you're gonna choose. Yeah.

Yeah. So they hug and I mean, you know, let's, let's super official. It's a bandaid on this wound, but whatever. Yes. So over with the pregnancy test, Reagan is in the bathroom trying to squeeze her fingers between that mermaid dress. Could you have picked a more inappropriate dress to take a pregnancy test in?

You knew you were going to be doing this. Yes, exactly. I mean, there was like ruffle upon ruffle upon ruffle upon layer. While she's doing that, Jeff is just talking to everyone. He's like, he's telling someone, he's like, Reg is late. I mean, I'm happy. But see how I'm like, oh, I don't know. And the person's like, uh-huh.

It's so sad. Would you like a crudite? Yeah, he's passing back and forth. And it just gets sadder every time. To me, it's like, are you peeing? It's like, I think so. Yeah, I'm peeing. I'm peeing.

And just like passing out cigars. He's like, he literally goes up to someone and they did you see this caption? except the name they say unknown and the title is Guy Jeff just met and he's like I just found out she's eight days late. Did you see that? Oh my god. It literally said his name this person's unknown and Jeff just met him. this person's unknown and Jeff just met him. So Regan finally gets her hand back from whatever was happening down there and she just lets out this blood-curdling scream. She's like, yeah. Jeff's like, oh my god it happened so fast everybody.

Move out of the way. It's a boy. Daddy on board. Push Regan. He shows, he like bursts into the bathroom wearing like a baby Bjorn. Yeah He's like this is the best thing that could ever happen. Yeah, so poor got yeah, she goes This is the best thing to ever happen to me on a toilet So then so then with this basically

No, baby. You're not pregnant and Reagan's never been happier. Never been happier since when she first stepped foot in her own apartment in the French quarter. So, it's like, well, that's so sad. I'm going to go fuck my husband in the bathroom. They go fuck in the bathroom and then she comes out and just gives the camera a look. Like, I just did that. It's like you two are really classy.

Your kids are going to have so many fucking issues from watching this one episode. I know. So, so, so, what's this face? Jeff is talking to Justin and Reagan goes interrupt. She's like, can I just have a second with Jeff? I love you. To Justin.

Good fun, you love you. I love you. Bye. Bye. Bye. So, I'm not having your spawn. To to Justin like thank you love you So I'm not having your spawn and It's over. I'm sorry. I love you. I love you Not ready and you're not ready. I love you. Oh, I'll tear. I'll take care of you no matter what no matter what I'll be there

Always always Yeah, always I'll take care of you no matter what no matter what I'll be there always always Yeah, always When did we mention they got separated? Oh God So John is like There are things you might not understand about new Orleans we we are like the city water rises Things fall we're like glutes stick together my quet Milk milk lemonade round the corner chocolate's made Take your finger up the hole oops tootsie roll. That's just what life is

It's like water's up waters down Snickers satisfies you. It's like okay Nobody beats the Wiz nobody beats the whiz, nobody beats the whiz. And then Barry continues this New Orleans theme because it's towards the end of the it's the end of the episode. It's the end of the season. Yeah, so everybody's reflecting. And then Barry is like, our relationship is like New Orleans. You know, you just ignore that tide, but then when it rises too high, the marriage rounds because I can't swim. And it's on below sea level. Okay, so John's up, it gets on the roof. He starts painting and everyone's just like watching and I'm like This must have been so awkward and boring because you don't paint that in like two minutes

Everyone's just staring at you paint for like 35-40 minutes And he's looking on his cell phone. He's like copying the picture on his cell phone 40 minutes and he's looking on his cell phone. He's like copying the picture on his cell phone. It's an artist in 2018. Yeah, but that painting was really fucking good. Yeah, I guess. Like damn you. So yeah, so everyone's just saying, they love each other and to Megan Reagan, like my soul says stars and Reagan's and Reagan's still talking about how Jeff is for everything he's my everything I'll be with him always always always always always always he's my everything and I'm here for everything I'm so proud with gonna bring and Justin's saying how he sees a future with Kelsey and all that fun stuff.

And they're all leaving the party and John keeps going, welcome for coming. Welcome for coming. I was like, you know what? Is that a thing? That mean, no, it doesn't make any sense. And then it's like, okay, everything's done. And it goes one hour later.

And it's Justin and Kelsey and Bennett, his mom's house. And he's like, come on baby, please. And she's like, um, we are in your parent's house. I'm still a virgin. He's like, damn it. I was like, wow, I, I thought there would be a more significant cliff hangar than we'll just get some. And Justin doesn't get any.

The end. He only gets a bad case of heartburn. Also didn't help that. Dottie was like sitting at the edge of the bed. He's like, come on, Justin, ask her. Maybe she'll say yes. That brings us to the end of Southern Charm Null and Kavrable. Yeah, it'll be interesting to see if this comes back. I feel

like it will. And Savannah comes back. The ones that I come back. I heard a lot of I feel like a lot of people were talking about this one. So I'm sure it'll be back. Yes, and we'll see when you do come back because I heard a lot of, I feel like a lot of people were talking about this one. So I'm sure it'll be back. Yes, and we'll see when you do come back, Valens. No, Valens. For now, we're at the end of our Tuesdays to see us suckers go over to watch whatcrapants.com for tickets to our Phoenix show and San Francisco show this month. And to get your, what's the matter?

What's going on? What's happening, T-shirts. And we will be back tomorrow with a little below-dick Mediterranean action, okay? Honey. Honey, that's gonna be amazing. Talk to you later, guys. Bye, everybody. Bye.

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