Watch What Crappens - Selling Sunset: Soldier Down

Episode Date: July 8, 2020

Mary is no one's soldier on this week's Selling Sunset, and the battle lines are drawn with Christine. For this week's premium bonus about catching up on TV and podcasts, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off, voice only. Launching during pride, Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but these are the ones around me. Kids, what happens, what happens so much that happens? Hello, and welcome to Watch What Crappings! The podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Yo-Brov and Netflix as well these days. Welcome to Selling Sunset Day.

It's me, Ronnie. That's been over there. Hi, Bian. Hi, how are you? Good. Guys, thank you so much for being with us here today. We love our selling sunset. We're super excited to be recapping it again today. Before we get started, go check out our other stuff. I do Rose Pricks, which is a bachelor podcast and Ben has another podcast called Game Brain and he also does a cartoon on YouTube called Real Houseware as a Kitchen Island, which is amazing. It has a new episode this week. Go check that out. We're both on Cameo. We're selling masks. If you need to mask yourself up for these COVID-teams,

go to crappensamurch.com and get those. We've got some small businesses to shout out. Ben, you want to start? Yes. This one is from one of our long-time listeners, slash readers from the TV Gasm days. In fact, Angela, who wants to give a big, big, big shout out to her friend, Patty. So Patty and her husband and their five kids recently moved from Southern California to South Carolina. Perhaps inspired by

Southern charm. We'll just say yes, that's why she did it. And the thing is though, so Patty actually has a custom home decor business and she ships all her stuff all across the US, but of course that move and the pandemic. Not great timing because you know they're in a new new place that got to create new connections and that's hard on a small business. So go check out Patty's beautiful, beautiful work on Instagram at found vintage treasures, or you can go check it out on Etsy at Fufu Lala Child. So at found vintage treasures or Fufu Lala Child, and thank you so much Angela for giving that shout out to Patti and for

being a supporter of both of ours for like years and years and years. And we have a photographer named Erin May. Erin does product photography. So if you have products you can send them to her and she'll set up a photo shoot for them making nice professional products. And she also does really good image and she also does really good image editing and revamping so you can mail her any Photoshop things and she'll Photoshop them for you, do the picture editing and all that good stuff. She can also customize any photo that you want into a personalized gift if she can do pillows, mugs, t-shirts, reusable shopping bags, metal prints, all that good stuff. You can find her over on Instagram at Erin Mae Photography, that's E-R-I-N, Erin, N-A-E Photography.

Tell them that Watch What Crap and Sentry for 20% off every service. Give them a follow, because it's always good to give an artist a follow on the insta that's Aaron and May photography. Okay. Well, now to selling. Sonset for those of you following along at home. This is this is season two episode five titled I'm not your soldier

Wow, there was so much drums in the Oppenheim office this week. I couldn't even blow up Yeah, there was like a lot happening and I'm a mother so Mama mother, okay, So the episode opens up at $5 million House on the Hell Cross Drive. And so it's a big, beautiful house, of course. And so Jason shows up, is opening up the windows and the doors and everything like that to get it ready.

And here comes Chris Schell. And you know, Jason has a Slavic client that he's sort of two back a few years ago and that Slavic client wants to settle down so he needs to sell it. So, Slavic client has like a celebrity client that she's looking for so celebrity because she's got a client who's a celebrity.

So they need a celebrity house for a celebrity client who's a celebrity. Yeah. Well, I think this celebrity house be really good for your celebrity because the celebrity already live here and there's like a couch that's celebrity's considered and it's actually a sunken couch sunken living room It makes celebrities feel like they're a little bit more grounded, so that's really great for your celebrity That's crazy because celebrities love sunken couches and I so happen to be looking for a celebrity

So pretty cool Yeah, I'm just worried that my celebrity will feel like it's not really warm in here because it's like pretty cold and so maybe your celebrity is just like maybe like a cold mean person and but like my celebrity is like a really warm one so maybe you should like warm it up for me please. This is Krocelle looks insane by the way. She comes in looking like little or like she's auditioning for Little Orphanani. It's like a little or Annie as an adult. It's kind of like a glitter version of the orphan Annie dress and then she's got this bumpet thing in the back of her head to kind

of do like a 50s up do in the back but it's flat. So it looks like she was maybe I don't know doing her hair and then like fell asleep in an alley somewhere. I don't know. She looks fucking crazy and I love it. Yeah, she's, I actually did not take notice of what she, oh, yeah, she did have the bump in. I do remember the bump. I was like, I was like, did she have a bump in right now? There was like a little bit of a, a lift in the back there. Yeah. Oh, so he's showing you the pool. He's like, yeah, took half a year to do the borderless, huh? What you know at night is really like soft and warm, but celebrities like so. So let's talk more about your celebrity And she's like well, she's a celebrity so privacy is key and privacy is great I love the landscape being which is private and she has a house now that she's working on with someone else

And you know, I just have to pre this preview for this for her because she's a celebrity I love how we're both being really coy about our celebrities You know because we can't say cuz oh we both had did you have to sign an NDA? Did you have to sign an NDA for your celebrity? She's like this is very typical LA my client. It's a celebrity. You like celebrity things. This is celebrity And you know when people say they have you have your people call my people oh where are the people celebrity yeah like I officially represent Jenna Von Ooy oh god I've allotted the NDA oh god Jenna's gonna kill me so they sit in the sunken couch and she's like oh my god it's like a couch it's so soft it's almost like being in a couch

yeah it's actually really made for celebrities. Um, it actually really contours celebrity butts a little bit more. And I guess you're sort of a celebrity. So you might feel like it's comfortable, but like a real celebrity will be like, like Malcolm's mom won or came in here previously and was like, wow, this is really comfortable. I'm like, sorry, you're not a celebrity enough. And then Lisa Bumay came in. Did I say that out loud?

I said it out loud, damn it. Damn it. Pissed Brosson came by. Oh, sorry, I'm out of my end of the year again. So he asked her about the valley. And he's like, oh, I know you're out there, but I haven't seen a lot of commissions. And she's like, well, there's a lot of inventory.

And we just keep thinking there's offers within people back out her die die or I don't know fall off the edge of the pool because we've got people really can't figure out those infinity. Did you know that when you fall off an infinity pool you're never seen again? I mean it really is infinity, it's nuts! Yeah, it actually, you know, it's like in Toy Story

when that little toy is like too infinity and beyond. He's actually just looking for a pool. That's what I discovered during this process. Anyway, yeah, no, I haven't sold it yet. Haven't sold it. I've tried to pitch it to all the celebrities I know. I pitched it. I pitched it to Kiefer Sutherland and to Edward James Almos and Mary Hart. No one wants it. Mary Hart. So I used to wait on her at this house that I used to wear, like a private house I used to work at, that she should come to with her husband.

And she really, her mouth is always wide open in that crazy entertainment tonight's smile. It's like, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I believe that. So he's like, well, you know, data, numbers, whatever, but you know, it's kind of a binary thing, you know, like, are we going to get paid or are we not going to get paid? And that's kind of the question I have for you, Chris. She's like, yeah. Hello, I said celebrity yet.

Do me a favor. Reach out to Susan Susan powder see if she's in the market You gotta eat pre the moon Body by Jake he is a very dynamic person. This my house might be really good for him Oh, there's a dog Flashing lights up there make it go bang bang. Oh something make it go bang bang oh So Christine shows up in some very odd neon green shoes Like a motorcycle out. She's kind of like Greece

Yeah, it's like it's like it's neon green shoes fluorescent green shoes and like fluorescent green earrings and I know she's holding a magazine that seems to have a splotch of Flushing Green in it and I'm thinking to myself is she wearing that magazine as an accessory to her outfit or did she plan her outfit around the magazine should be carrying because both are totally totally like that would make sense for her. The other thing is by the way Christine I noticed this I'm pulling up her Instagram because she's just so ridiculous on Instagram. Let's see, what Christine is doing. It's her name.

Queen. Christine. Okay. Okay, look at, if you look at her Instagram, look at the, the her fourth most recent picture. Christine Quinn, it's just her, her whole name. It's her sitting, yes, the Christine Quinn. Oh, Jesus, Ben.

Yeah. The Christine Quinn. Okay. Okay, so there's So she's picture her sitting on a TV. Right. So her look at her line of stories save stories They're all just her face and she's like Sina who does Like her side like she has her side, I guess she likes to be stopped. Yeah, I feel like she is considering herself a lifestyle brand, which is hilarious. So there's a picture of Christine sitting on a TV and she's wearing a t-shirt that's sort of like a crop top.

It's also rolled up and says blonde. And then she's also wearing just like bikini bottom but like lingerie at bikini bottoms. So she's like a lacy lingerie and then like tights. And so she's sitting there and then her mouth is her hand is straight over and her mouth is like, oh, like, like, like, like me, I'm just like in my lingerie, but also wearing a t-shirt.

I'm sitting on a vintage TV for no reason. And then the caption says this, I'm obsessed with seeing people in power strangers. Compliment this stranger below you and comment when you are done. What the fuck? What? I love that. When people put up like thought photos of themselves,

but they don't want, they can't like fully commit to the thoughtness, they have to like put in something that's like eating full below so people can't be like, you're a thought, you know? I believe in fairy tales. Comment below if you believe in fairy tales too. Some girl commented, do you have a TikTok? Love you. And she said, yes, X-team Quinn.

Oh my God, we've got to go look at that TikTok. I don't actually have TikTok. I'm afraid to go down the TikTok. Like, I feel like once I download TikTok, there's just gonna be, I am going to regress to being 14 years old and like lip syncing to any Linux on it. It'll be terrible.

Well, I'm not sure what it's for because I have it because my nieces do it all the time, you know, so I'll do it sometimes with them. But I don't, I see other things posted from TikTok and they're like a lady cooking or, you know, like here's how to get, you to get a stain out of your dreams. So I heard more of the Gorga competing with her daughter. So then there's another photo of Christine sitting on a TV,

the same thing, it's like same outfits, like from the same photo. There's a landing photo or her blondie shirt, I want that shirt. And she goes, I want every little girl who is told, she is bossy to be told and said she has great leadership skills Star star see both the star emojis There's nothing wrong with that sentiment, but I just feel like pairing it with this random photo of like her

Like just like it's like a pin-up photo. It's kind of like the photos like that It's like in Playboy like there's always like a few pictures where someone's close before they're like naked Yeah, which is fine, but it's just funny. Like I don't understand what the picture has to do with the caption. Oh, I have to see with this one of her staring at the fishbowl. Well, she's touching a fishbowl, but she's like looking up at the light and says, never forget that the the only deadfish swim in the stream. No, never forget the only dead fish swim with the stream. Fish emoji, star emoji, square emoji.

I was not aware of her marine biology degree. So then she's, there's another one where she's like standing and like looking at her phone. And, and then there's like an image of a tweet that she sent out that's like superimposed on the picture that says and the tweet says I expect women to be whatever the fuck they want and then below it the caption of the actual picture says Tag a woman who inspires you ice cream emoji heart star

This is like the best thing to have ever happened to me. Is she real? She might be a Russian bot. Like this is, these images and these words are random enough that I'm pretty sure they're produced by an algorithm. She has another one that she's in like a pink latex dressed pointing up to the sky and her hair is blowing behind her. And it says, my budget is love. She has the latest picture she has is black and white.

And then she's like looking over her shoulder and then spatter and algae, black heart. Hearts are wild creatures. That's why our ribs are cages. I hate to bring the news about some of the anatomical news to Christine. But your heart is not in the ribcage. Well, there's one that is her sitting on, like, it looks like outdoor, like a doby pool area. And she's in really short shorts and her, you know, her legs are open and

her elbow is down on her knee. Like she's looking smart and she's got a beret with a I don't know a veil that you pull down or something and it says Crown lipstick one two three four question mark shrug and she's turned off the comments which makes me wonder What happened? I'm trying to figure out what is so controversial about this picture. And I see her really working hard to have Sassy truisms, like Jogo Augustile, and there's one where she's in Thailand. She's by a waterfall.

It's a very pretty photo. All these photos are very pretty. And she goes, yeah. And so she's like smiling, like they're smiling by this waterfall and she goes, Mermaid's don't lose sleep over the opinions of shrimp. So many things on pack about that. Oh, we've seen other one.

Don't go chasing waterfalls unless the waterfalls are made of diamonds, of course. Wow, these are great. Okay, let's close this and save something. Yeah, we can always do. Yeah, we'll save some for the future. Wow, that's my favorite thing to do. I'm gonna, I have a new book to read. That's called The Beatles' Instagram.

That was amazing. That was amazing. That was amazing. So now, she is, you know, the last scene of Greece right now. And she's doing an open house. And the song's going to say, I'm dynamite, I'm dynamite. And she's like posing and like putting paper work down

and then like posing and fluffing a pillow and then posing. And then posing. So Mary comes bubbling in with the SkyName James, who is, so James is a, he's a street artist with any does heart murals, you may have seen his heart murals around your city. He does heart murals. It kills me that someone is making millions of dollars spray painting hearts on bridges. Like seriously?

Heart murals. Heart. And they show them at their literally spray painted hearts. You know, I'd be okay if it was like pictures, if it was like street murals of like Ann Wilson, you know, but like it is actual hearts and that makes me upset. So like, I'm still like so pissed at Christine for telling Divina about, you know, Romaine before I got you to tell Divina, but like I'm gonna be cord roll because Harm youralls. Yeah, happy face, doesn't my happy face, I was like, could you keep it still as you just knocked into the door jam crazy face So Christine shows some around and she's like so

James anything new in the art world. What are you working on with art? Anything new in the art world Art! Super-pink-different. Anything new in the art world. He's like, well, he's like, well, he's like, well, you know, I'm off to New York Monday, then I'm going to Australia, London, Shanghai. She goes, oh my god, sounds stir-rustful. I'm going to Mexico this weekend, so I understand totally.

So they're showing this house, which I actually do not like this house, by the way. And then he's like, oh, thank you for showing me this house. Just let me give you all some very loud kisses. Moa. Moa. Moa. Moa. Moa.

He does. Those are some creepy gigantic double kisses. I was like, you can leave now James Get out of your heart murals. Yeah, so now they're alone Mary and Christina alone and Mary's face going from door. I don't know what that means, but I have a feeling that car I don't know if that means but Mary really is so clunky and I swear it's just moving more and more in every episode. Yeah so this guy leaves and Christine goes, oh my god he's so nice.

And Mary goes, I know. And Christine goes, he's so nice. He's some masculine. So Mary's like, have a minute. Well, I talked to the Vena and she said that you had already told her about romance. So, you know, yours are champs. Here's your champs. Well, like I told a very opinionated bowl of shrimp cocktail last night, I did tell her

I did tell her and I feel like you know that you went about this wrong and you should have called divina and told her alone You shouldn't have told everyone in the office first and then Mary's head like twitches and turns upside down And Christine's like you shouldn't tell everyone in the office before you told divina She's like, but I didn't. Romain let it slip. I mean, it was Romain. Romain did it. She's, yeah, but everyone was talking about it.

And everybody was talking about it at lunch. And I just didn't feel that it was fair to her to be left in the dark. Because you know, I'm a loyal friend, and you know, I have people's backs. Yeah, and it's a two way street. Backs are a two-way street okay and Mary's head like nearly tops off of her torso at that point. She's like but you didn't have my bag and Christine's like um I had your back at the pool party a year ago and you

didn't have my bag. Which is like well I'm like, which is like, well, but Christina, by the way, Christina had Davina's back, but that doesn't, she was under, Mary was under no obligation of Christine's back because Christine was fighting for Davina at that point. Not Mary,

it just was about Mary. Yeah. That was the, well, it's so crazy. So Mary's like, well, I guess she's holding that grudge because I didn't go ballistic on Crisho.

I mean, I've always been loyal She's like, um my definition of loyalty is like if I want to bury a bitch You're there with the shovel, okay, and if I don't like a bitch, you don't like a bitch That's what loyalty is and that is so beautifully explained like we've needed somebody to put it this way for housewives forever You know, just say what you mean, okay? I feel like you guys are such this I feel like We've made it so we can put it this way for housewives forever. Just say what you mean. I feel like Reza says this. I feel like Reza says this sort of stuff every single episode on Shaz.

I mean, Christina is kind of like Reza, ultimately. Don't ruin Christine for me. By the way, how dumb is Reza that he sort of got out of real estate when real estate shows are so hot right now? Well, he tried. Which is weird because there's like, there's a pandemic. That's true. So Christine's like, D'Vina's been a very good loyal friend to me.

Like, I literally ran over a hobo with my car and she buried him herself. I didn't even have to ask. Okay, that's loyal. She's a loyal bitch. And I didn't want it. I just didn't want to have her blindsided at the party. So I thought a blindsided earlier instead. Hmm. Well if Christian didn't want someone to come to your wedding And you tried to change your mind about then like you were like stuck with it like you would side with him

You would side with him Mary you just nearly knocked over a figurine, so please control yourself in this house. It does not belong to either of us. Are you kidding? I was someone being an adult trying to give her respect, which she doesn't deserve, because she's just respected Romaine so bad. She said so many things.

Yeah, she's done it over and over again. Okay, and Christine goes, well, tell me what you're upset about. Mary's like, Divina, Divina's the one at the center of it all. And when if someone hears something, where's it from? Divina. Okay, Divina is the one. Divina, I'm like, well Mary, now you're proving that you're really fake because you're, I mean, you're acting like you're really good friends with Divina, okay, Dvina is the one, Dvina, I'm like well Mary now you're proving that you're really fake because you're I mean You're acting like you're really good friends with Dvina, but like truthfully you actually have the issue with Dvina too Which is what we always suspected. Yeah, she's like well, I mean I'm fighting for my fiance She's um, it's not about the wedding. It's about her feeling excluded

She's but I didn't want to make it like that but she's confused. And now Mary does something. I don't know if you noticed this, but this is like my favorite Mary trick of all time. I feel like we learned what Mary does when she's cornered in an argument. She develops a British accent. Did you notice that? No. She goes, okay, we have never hung out outside the office, okay? And we do not hang out on our own and we don't text about other things other than the office, but other than that, I'm just not good friends with her. Like, where did that accent come from, Mary?

I love that. So she's like, I think you handled it poorly. I was trying to approach her. But when, she goes, you know what what I'm done talking because I can't Trust you like you we're not loyal she goes um you went loyal to me at the pool party You know what my nerves are shot partially because my spinal cord is half free to the moon, okay? And she does walk you off like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

She bounces off four walls and finally makes it to the front door and exits. Sit back and watch me go, feel it when the land take control. So Maya and Brett show up at like a construction site. Like, and, Maya, you're saying my queen. I love her.

I love her. I love her. I love her. Same. So Brett's like, all right, this is a development. This is, this is basically my baby. And she's like, oh, your baby. Oh gosh, your baby smells.

What's that smell? What's that smell, you're right? Your baby stink, buddy. He's like, oh, this is an RTI ready to issue. We're gonna put an infinity right over there It's 3700 square feet with blah blah blah and you know, I Exit a consultant through this project and I always get to this thing in the end. That's my that's my present. She goes oh The tree can they cut it? He's like, yeah, all right. Let's do a quiz. Okay, what you're just a girl so you might not know this

But what do you call this a wall? Wow What about this? Wow And then she goes so is it safe in here? He goes yeah, yeah, you just have to watch out for that hole in the wall And they show his hole that goes down like four stories like right by her feet watch out for that hole in the wall and it shows hole that goes down like four stories that's like right by her feet. Um, so he gives her a tour of the whole place and he's like, yeah, I'm like, you're only a 30 second drive up from sunset.

She goes, so house downstairs, what is it going to be? More rooms? He's like, yes, you got it. God, you're really nailing it. And then he, and again, he said that this is his baby. And she goes, you know, Brett, when I walk in, I was like, what is this dump? Okay. But now that I see it has views, sorts of, there's a tree really, but tree views, it's actually cool project, you know, except for the vortex to hell. That's in the middle of the living room Get three down. I like that she just keeps pointing up the tree

He's like alright. What's it cost here she's well? 300 for pool 300 square foot Three three terrible three. Okay, at least a least million. He's like exactly now how long will it take? 14 to 16 month cut down 3 to 16 months He's like, yes! N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n- Well first I have a little gift for you because what is it chocolate? Because he pulls out the key from his pocket he pulls out a key and dangles it in front of her face and goes I have a gift for you She goes what chocolate

He goes what is this he actually like gives her the key What is this is this strange fish dead the strange, very hard shell deadfish. He goes, no, that's a key to this house. The listing, the tree, the house of the tree, you're giving me the house of the tree? It's your project, baby. She's like, oh, how does it work when they assign property to you? I don't know. We have to ask Mary. So now we're back at the office and Heather does not really get much attention this episode. She actually has not had a lot going on with her story.

She's just sort of stuck in the back of the office all season. And she's like, guys, I'm getting a stress rash, you guys. It pops up on my forehead. And Krischelle does minus my face. Krischelle is always trying to compete with everybody on every single thing. Like you even have to have a stress rash, just like somebody else. Come on. Arrival stress stress rash rash. And Mary is like all she still like has residual anger from her Christina meeting. She She's like it's hard to work with no internet. It's like Mary. You're trying to type on the stapler right now The one next to it

So Jason's like Mary. I just got the offer on your house 2.9. She's oh my they're asking 3 2 Jason. I've never heard an agent so mad about an offer, huh? Yeah, oh, yeah, so she's telling an agent so mad about an offer, huh? Yeah. Oh yeah, so she's telling your client not to take my offer. Awesome. Awesome. OK, that's great. That's great, Mary.

She's like, no, it's just that like that slight they ask for three two and we can get higher. It's like not even a three. They're going to lose money on it. Mary, Mary, Mary, you're going to fall out of your chair. I settle down, Mary. Come on, Mary. It's like, well, I'm going to call my client.

I'm going to suggest that he doesn't take it. So she goes out and wobbles around outside on her phone. And by the way, let's also talk about how, like, I feel like Jason, the way he'd talk to Mary, it's just so condescending, because all season long, Jason doesn't really compromise on anything,

and he kind of like badgers everyone. It feels like when they compromise or like this is gonna be bad for, this is gonna look bad, this is gonna be bad, this is gonna be bad, this is gonna be embarrassing. But in a moment, where he's gonna get a commission, he's like, you should fucking take it, you crazy, you know? Yeah, exactly. So she calls a client and she's mad and she's like, well, it's obviously up to you, but my suggestion is don't take it, okay? I'm really think I can get someone to take to give you higher. I really really do

Sorry, I almost fell into the street. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry anyway It's like a bus has never seen somebody pace before It's sunset boulevard people fall into the street all the time here. It's not crazy It's sunset boulevard, people fall on the street all the time, you're not crazy. It's time for commercial, it's time for a crap-in-score. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

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Let's get Racy with Miss Stacy! Let's take off with Tamela Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kutar! We love you guys! So she goes back in, he's like, so how did that go? Yeah. And she's like, it was fine. So she sits down and then a man's up

for her one line of the episodes like so What's going on and she's I'm Fuming okay Jesus client came in and wrote a little offer and now I'm struggling to figure it out and then Jesus Merit Merit my client really wants an answer, okay She wants an answer and wants to know can you install a TV that rises very slowly out of the floor? Please come on now Merit's like you're being at dick right now. now. Marisa, you're being dick right now.

He's like, I think you're being dismissive right now. She's like, that is 300. That's the one we're asking Jason. He's like, well, if it sits on the market more, he's not gonna get $2.90 again. So deal with it. And she's like, you know what, they're thinking over and allowing me to get a better offer.

And then, Jason's like, well, my client can build their offer anytime they want. Okay. You know what, you know what? Like, it's a shitty a shitty offer pull it pull it. I don't care. Just pull it It's not a shitty offer. It's not I don't have any other offers You say no, I don't have any written offers, but I have interested buyers and then Brett's like oh, yeah All these interested buyers have you called them? It's like you guys have been talking to her and literally since she came in You guys are such assholes Don't try to gas. I was not doing her job I want an answer Mary You guys have been talking to her and literally said she came in. You guys are such assholes.

Don't try to gas. I was like, I want to answer your job. I want to answer, Mary. So then the next day, it's, or maybe that day, who knows, really. It's lunch. They get to the next day because it's breakfast. Oh, lunch. I don't know.

It's a meal. I think it's breakfast because they, one of them gets French toast, which feels more like, I don't think they would have carbs like that at lunch. Oh, so they get a breakfast. Is Christina, Maya, and, or Christine, Maya and Divina? And Christine's like, oh, we went to Spago last night and had like a bottle and a half of wine. Like, all I drink is coffee and red wine. Like a caffeine, whore, and an alcoholic. Ah! Maya goes, I miss that. But like, I don't understand what going to Spago and having the bottle in half of wine

have to do with one of each other. You can do that like literally any restaurant. I know, but it's so funny how she's always like. Oh yeah! Spago last night. Yeah, I went to Spago. I'm rich now. I'm rich now.

So, yeah. So, I'm so glad Christian and I are going away today. Like, it's been hard working for almost 4-dust rate, you know? Yeah. And then the food comes. And like, Christine, aren't you eating? She's like, no, I just put my lip on and I can't. And she's like drinking her coffee out of a straw, like from a hot coffee mug.

So she's like, so remain seemed super heated. And to be honest, it was weird. Like, I mean, it's like weird of him. Like he's so angry. Like it's not even a hole for him. D'Vina is so that like, believe in elementary school, that like, picks on you and picks on you. And then like, you know what, be quiet, D'Vina.

Oh my god, you're like so sensitive. like I can't be like angry right now like you need to calm down yeah I have to calm down she says I mean it's not that he's mad is how he handled that and my it's like well most important thing is you apologize what else can you do cut down three? Sure, this is good idea So like and ma'am here is your here's your here's your drink. What is this? It's a coffee. No, but what is this chocolate? No, it's not coffee cup. It's chocolate Could you put me a favor put a key in here? I'm kidding. I'm kidding Question does this restaurant have any whole in floor floor I could fall through to my death? No, okay, good.

Well, I thought it was nice that Chrishell sent flowers to you at your party and Christine's like, it would have been nicer if she just sucked it up and came. Then everyone in the office would have been like, that's so nice. Like, I mean, I don't hold grudges. Sorry, like, I'm a Christian. I'm a Christian, okay, yes.

By the way, you don't hold grudges, you literally just yelled at Mary because you didn't like how she acted at a pool party a year ago. And you're mad right now about some people that happened last week that you already forgave Christel for. And you also address like you are on the run from a mobster,

which probably has something to do with the grudge. Yeah, she's, she's like at a mob funeral. She's wearing like a big black rimmed hat. So funny. I believe in forgiveness. Like I apologize all the time. I do stupid shit all the time. Okay.

Like I don't want this like, I'm not going to Kraschel grudge you. Okay. Oh, so then back at the office. So I was like, what are you guys doing this weekend? the time okay I don't want this like I'm not gonna crush out grudge you okay so then back at the office I was like what are you guys doing this weekend and my eyes like changed diapers how you doing with your two kids hither and she's like um we have a nanny so awkward silence because she says it like so I have a question my so when it's time for your husband to like shoot his show for a chutee, what's that like for you? Oh, your husband doesn't have any chutee, TV show.

Oh, got it. It's like, and, uh, Christine and they're like, oh, she's going to Mexico, but they just got the back from vacation. She, you know what, her boyfriend, boyfriend, her fiance, he like hotel. Yeah. Hey guys, guys, guys, guys, I'm gonna show you my new listing. Can you guys all gather around to see my new listing? I got a new listing, guys.

I got a new listing of two three. If you know any buyers, it's two three. And it's being sold by Torek. My boyfriend, here's my new listing, guys. Take a look. So the girls all gather around, Heather's laptop. And then one of the twins, I think it was Jason. He just gets up and walks out of the office.

But to do that, he has walked by the girls, which means he has to push Mary out of the way. And I guarantee you, he had truly no reason to go outside. He just wanted to push Mary out of the way at that moment. So, Chris, I'll get to phone contact. I got to take gotta take this could be a celebrity can't tell you who NBA thinks and It's Sean the gross the gross agent. He's like hey honey He's like hey, they I just sent you an email about the house on laurel I got the perfect buyer just want to make sure I'm in every single episode of this show all right

You know the dream team She's like I mean I've heard of them I mean we're talking Mindy Cohen Kimfields right is am I on the right track here? Dream team is like little isn't a my client was married to Scotty Piffin and the kid is playing ball at Vanderbilt and you have a house with a basketball court. So I think that's a perfect fit. Anyway, how about you and I meet this awful lady at that house

and that crazy part of the world called DeValley and we'll figure this out. Just say, great, great, great. Great, okay, just fair warning. This woman is truly awful You do not understand how terrible she is so just really be perfect. Oh my god. Could you believe that it was her? I can Larsa Pippen she has no interest in this house. She just wants to be on TV. Yes, there's she's the only if she found the

Thirstyest real estate guy to show her house because she's the best. For people who, people may actually not realize this, but Larza Pippin was a real housewife. She was on season one of real housewives of Miami and she was just so awful. And, you know, I don't know if she left her, it was fired, but she was only on for one season. And she has since gone on to like, she's sort of like, she's like a professional hangar on

with Kim Zolciac and the Kardashians. she's sort of like, she's like a professional hangar on with Kim Zollsiac and the Kardashians. She's sort of like always sneaking her way into Kim Kardashian parties and stuff like that. You'll sort of find her on the edges of those pictures. And she is trying, she basically is trying to craft her face into Kylie Jenner. And that's not why she's awful.

It's more of a manifestation of her awful. She's awful because she's a terrible person. Yeah, she's terrible. So she goes back inside. Chris sell goes back to the girls and Mary's like, Oh my god, that sounded awesome. She's like, yeah, that, I mean, it sounds too good to be true, but we'll see.

And Heather's like, what's that babe? She's, oh, I just got a call. Um, It's a sky his dad is Scotty Pippin. Do you guys know who that is? Yeah, but she also goes where she goes first. She goes I just got a call about a potential buyer and her son plays basketball and was like, oh basketball. Yeah, no, is that's actually Scotty Pippin? I'm like, why would you bury the Scotty Pippin part? A basketball Is that's actually Scotty Pippin? I'm like, why would you bury the Scotty Pippin part? I passed give all

Who's you know that is and Kraschel's like, you know who cares? So Mike goes, oh, yes, you know I'm showing house to Michael Jordan tomorrow And this is such an LA thing to say Michael B Jordan or Michael Jordan What's the difference And and Mary's like oh Michael Michael B Jordan, he was in that boxing movie, what's it called? Michael's Space Jam. It's a real Michael Jordan, she goes, yeah, all kidding.

I'm bullshitting around. I was so sad. I actually believed her, and I was like, oh, I love that she's just fully one uping. Of course, she would want up Scotty Pippin. In fact, given, if you ever, like, I don't think you watched the last dance, but having watched the last dance and seeing how huge Michael Jordan's ego is,

I think if you saw this episode, he would actually call up Maya and be like, get me a house and make sure it's larger than Scotty Pippin's XYZ house. That's all me a house and make sure it's larger than Scotty Pippin's X Y's house. That's all I want. It just has to be bigger than Scotty Pippin. It was funny watching everybody fall all over themselves. Like Michael Jordan, oh my god, even the actor Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan, Michael Jordan. It's like Keating and Heather goes, um, that's funny. was that's funny. Well, she was probably having a panic attack because she's basically like, I'm sort of

dating the most famous person that anyone else is dating or knows. So she's a little threatened at that moment. So we're on sunset because Mary and one of them, Jason, I guess, went to get a coffee. There's just a close up of some lady getting out of one of those cars where the doors go up sideways. I hate those fucking cars. I forget what they are, but she can't get out of it. I just put, girl tries to get out of stupid car badly. Like, that is so annoying when we got that B-roll. Stupid doors. Just use a traditional door. It's not that big deal. So Mary's client has accepted Jason's offer, which means that she kind of has to like,

tail between her legs, which is bullshit, you know, because she really, Jason put her in a bad position, like a time pressure, and so she just had to accept it. And she said that she's just really disappointed because, you know, my clients are just gonna like, they, you know, it's like the difference in commission that's like negligible for me. And it's like not a big deal.

And even though I, I am having a wedding and it's really expensive. And I'm not saying that I'm paying for all of it, but let's just say that difference in commission really would make my life easier. Anyway, I'm just here for the client. I'm just here for the client. Yeah, because they apparently overpaid for it in the first place and then put all this money into it. And so They're a mistake. So then she invites him to be in their bridal party. Just weird. Yeah, I hate you. I'm sure Roman will love that. Yeah.

He's like not wearing a dress though. I'm gonna take you that much. Yeah, good one Jason. By the way, I'm starting to tell Jason and Brett apart, which makes me feel concerned about myself. I think Jason has veneers and Brett, like Jason's face is a little bit more, like I'm not trying to say this in a mean way, but you know, like alien head shape where it's like pointing on the bottom, but round on top, that's a little bit more Jason's and Brett is more just sort of oval.

Oh, that means one of them was picked's and Brett is more just sort of oval. Oh, that means one of them was picked up as a baby more than the other one. So maybe one of them was given attention. The other one was just left in the crib. I think so. I feel like Brett seems a little more secure than Jason. Jason seems to be a little bit more of an asshole than Brett. So probably Brett got help, helped more, right? Yeah. I don don't know God don't even get me into mommy issues. We'll be here for a week. Brett was held more, which is why he doesn't feel the need to yes, yes, I yes. So chipping, chipping, luxury, we play professionally. Like wow, they really are shoe horning those lyrics in there. So let's go to the Valley

House. Little wood. Christel. She's like, you know, this house has a few challenges. I mean, the dog, the plane, the driveway, the ghosts, the Korean man living in the basement. But you know what? All you see at first are tiles and bathrooms. And she's like trying to walk up this driveway in those heels. It is hilarious.

She's walking up really shakily. she's now instead of her bump it, she's wearing this gigantic bun hair pony thing on top of her head. It's like she has to wear it to like change her center of gravity so she can go up the driveway safely. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so Sond and Liza show up, he's like, hey, I will here, we're here to check out the house. Look at this, I got a celebrity, you know, you've got a house, she needs a house. Yeah, and they like walk in the door and Sean's like, so Larsa, what's your first impression? Because I mean, I took two steps in. What? It's like I just took two steps in, but I'm scared of the driveway.

I mean, I have 12 cars, so. Yeah, yeah, because he's like, well, you know what, last, so you can just drive your car right up to the garage. You'll be fine. And she's like, I have 12 cars. So we know you're not buying this house, because if you have 12 cars, you're not looking at a house in the hills, there's no space for 12 cars unless you're getting the $40 million house or you're just bullshitting. Well, this is the valley house.

Yeah, but I'm saying. But my real house wives of real. Remember the, no, this is the one on the side of the freeway, right? But either way, it's, it's by the side of freeways, but it's in that like, hilly part of the valley. It's like, it's on the, it's on the other half like the hills. It's still the, it's by the side of the few days, but it's in that like, hilly part of the valley. It's like, it's on the other half, like the hills, it's still the other valley hills. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, Chris L. is like, yeah, that could cost you 20 million more and it's on the other side of the hills. So good luck, stupid. But do you remember that episode of Real Housewives where Larza went shopping for her kid's car or her nephew's car or something.

Yeah, she loves to just buy a ton of cars. Oh, that's right. I feel like we had, because that was during the housewife hoedown times. And I remember we used to play a game like, it was like, who's wearing a worse than he had to compare the Larsa to the economy. So who's worse? Larsa or the economy? That's how long we've been doing this.

It was like, God, just during like the Great Recession. Yeah. Larsa or the Great Recession. That's a who's worse? Larsa or Coronavirus? Yeah. That's actually one of the first really angry comments we got because that was on YouTube back in the day and someone was like, how dare you compare Larsa Pippen to Hitler and the economy? I like to go super seriously. Oh good times memories memories. So Larsa is also the sort of person that when she goes through a house she just repeats the last piece of information that was given to her.

It's like, so this is, you'll see we've got a kitchen island here and this is all new construction. It's because, oh, it's new construction. Okay. I think you're kitchen island. Wow. Wow. Okay. Kitchen island. I show you the outside. So yeah, the outside. So they go out there and Sean is that guy who's always complimenting the person you hate. He's like, yes, got a junior. You can practice his fouls. It's like we get it. You're impressed that she was married to a famous person who plays basketball, okay? So he's like,

and Larsa could, yeah, Larsa could not look more disinterested in this house. She's like begrudgingly giving comments like, yeah, I love how, I love how private it is. It's great. I like this grass. He's like, look at that view of the valley.

Yeah, look at that. She like those grass. So look at that view of the valley. Yeah, look at that. She just hates it. So she's like, what about the closet? Come here, just, oh my god, the closet. You're gonna love the closet. Let's go. Here's the closet. It's big and beautiful.

And Lars goes, well, it's definitely beautiful. Here's another one. Yeah, Lars, so Lars, to everything Lars says, it's like, I'm richer than this, okay? Yeah. Lars, you're a barely us celebrity, okay? You're a bit like, Michelle is literally more famous than you, Lars, okay? Sean is more famous. Let's see, they go look at the bathroom, there's a steam shower, blah, blah, blah, they check

it out. And so I was like, you know what, there's value here. You don't tell a woman who's trying to prove how rich she is about value, okay? That's the wrong keyword, sir. Yeah, exactly. Just say, like Kylie Jenner once came through here and really liked it, so you should like it too.

Okay, but, so Michelle's like, you know what? Like the clock is ticking on this property and I'm trying to beat the clock. A buzzer beater, if you will. Wow, really nailed that. That was a basketball reference guys. All right. Well, love the house. Beautiful, really nice meeting. Yeah. I know. Can't even pretend to be interested. Not even for the cameras. Yeah, it's great. So let's go back to the office.

So with the office and basically it's just Marin Kraschel, they're the last ones of the office and Marin is like, this week has been on real. Are you okay because your head is twisted further around in your seat than anyone I've ever seen. So, so I'm gonna make, does your neck hurt? You okay? First of all, I went to Chitchat earlier and tried to order my new favorite cockroach beverage, the McAdemia Knot, and they were out of it. Apparently, Divina was there. Ugh, I hate her.

It's like, um, it's after five, so I'm gonna have a glass of wine. Do you want to join? And Chris says like, um, you know what? I have to drive in a second, so let's do that. Thank God for Oppenheim wine, officially from Oppenheim. So she pretends she's gonna talk about the wedding. She's like, you know, the wedding stuff, coming together. Venue, we got a venue.

And Chris says like, so it's a stressful part with the Venus sorted out. She's like, well well kind of, I mean, I found out that Christian, Christine told her, so I was like, why would we do that? I mean, we used to be so close, so... Yeah, and she's like, you know, like, you know, like, Christine said that Divina's been like a really good friend, and I apparently haven't been a good friend or something like that and then she's like, I was loyal to you until you went and like, consoled Grishel when I was defending you and I'm just like, I mean, I would roll my eyes but I actually think of it with upset the balance and cause my entire head to fall off right now. So I'm just going to just pretend I'm rolling my eyes. Yeah, and like, that fight, I mean, give me a break.

Like, Divina was a catalyst. I mean, you didn't do anything. All you did was ask questions. And she's like, yeah, you know, anytime someone's nice to me, it's like Christine has to lash out at them to keep her soldiers in line. And Mary's like, I am not a soldier. Okay. I'm not 10 like soldiers who are 10 children, child soldiers. I mean, why not? Right? Just get a couple of soldiers. Give it a 10 year old. Go on. Sometimes if I hear that song, Toy Soldiers,

by Martika, I change the station because it's, I'm not that. I'm not about that song. OK, step by step. No, I will not do that. OK, I am a friend and I will like who I want to like or who Jason tells me to like, OK? So yeah, it's not high school where the queen beat

decides what table to use to that. I mean, I know for myself, like, Christine, it's not high school where the queen B decides what table you sit at. I mean, I know for myself, like Christine has a very toxic vibe and I wouldn't want a friend like that because I couldn't trust her. I was like, oh, I don't think you're wrong, but don't think that just because Mary's mad right now that she's not going to rent Christine with this at some point. Yeah, yeah, at some point once they patch things up she's like, you know what, Chris Shell said that you're in ice one So Mary's like I would never think that she would be the one to run back to tell her I'm like Mary

This is Christine okay, like the moment those words came out of romance lips You had a 30-second countdown. That's when you have to go call Davina and say hey Davina I'm at a party that no one invited you to and remain told everyone this I'm gonna tell you this first. You know I'm about to go away. Okay, bye. Yeah So she's like I mean she's got like all this aggression towards me. I just like don't know What's it do? She's like do you even want her at the wedding though? It's like oh Criselle

Criselle you know she smiles so much that you don't understand like all the underhanded things she does, but she does do them. And that's where he's like, D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d First you didn't come to my party and even though explained exactly why in a very mature way and sent flowers I still want to point out that I'm pretty mature So I'm upset about that and then you told Mary not to invite me to her wedding and I just feel like That's like not loyal. That's like me killing someone and then you telling the police and that's like knuckle. Yeah Oh my gosh, well that was fun that ends that episode So we have I believe we have three more episodes

of this season, right? Are there still eight in the season? I haven't even checked. I don't know, but the new season starts in August. So it's kind of gonna be like one big season for us. I know, it looks like we're gonna be able, I know. It looks like we're gonna be able to jump right into that. Yeah, there's only eight episodes.

So we'll be able to jump into season three, probably, time. It just gonna be like one big season, sort of like a $40 million season. Okay, it's like, there's like no season, that's as big as this one in the hills. Okay, this is like the biggest season in the hills. Okay. But I have 12 cars. So I'm gonna need a bigger season. Everybody, thanks for being here. Go get your masks over at Crap and Smirch. Come get us Hmm Thank you all Thank you all Air hugs, air hugs, air hugs, no hugging, so she just is nod, nod, wash your hands, wear your mask, it's serious people. We'll talk to you later guys, bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.