Watch What Crappens - Selling Sunset: Swan Song Wrongs

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

Davina makes a total ass out of herself at Christine's Black Swan wedding on the season finale of Selling Sunset and Chrishelle cries some more. This week's bonus episode is a recap of The Home Edit, which you can find at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens**New merch! We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I'm Ronnie, that's been over there. Hi, Bann. Hey Ronnie. How you doing, baby? Well, I'm sad. It's the last episode of Selling Sunset. I love this show. Well, there are two sides to every story, so... There's two sides.

Well, I'm sorry. Well, this is the side that says it's the season finale of season three. And based on what Christine told us when she was on our very own podcast, it looks like she said she doesn't anticipate they're going gonna start filming again until at least January. So we have a little bit of time to wait. And FYI, programming update from the world of crap ends, starting, while it's starting tomorrow, we're gonna start recapping Great British Bake Off.

And then it's going to move it to today, to Wednesdays, starting next week. So, come on and join us for that one. That's gonna be fun. Good bake. I can't wait, I love that show. Yeah, it's pretty incredible and hunger inducing. Oh my God.

I want a battle large cake. What are they called? Better cake, better head to cake, head to bottom cake. Better bake,a binga cake what you'll see in the first episode that I haven't watched it's a cake challenge and they have to make like a god I have to look it up now because I'm making people at home crazy I just feel it you need to make a god yeah I forgot so many notes on this this is gonna be the longest recap of all time.

A hedge battle cake, a budget, budget muffin cake. Damn it, people, guess what? You're gonna have to wait until the recap to find out what kind of cake I'm talking about. Oh, oh, oh. You actually sound like one of the tricks and monical songs that plays in between scenes on this show. Head to bottom cake, got a bottom hedge cake,

battle cake, head to bottom cake, cake, cake, cake. You're not the boss. You're not my boss, had your bottom. This is a bottom cake. It's called a not-so-white wedding. Um, we start in silence, and we see the smog of LA. I'm a boss, I'm a boss, I'm a boss, I'm a molded-dye, I have those chickens, come up with my name, cause I'm a boss on my boss telling mom today and have those chickens come up with my name because I'm a boss on the fricking greatest on the estimated LA times I stay on page 6 I was glad that they ripped into that because I was like oh no I cannot have another

Chris Shell crying over a $5 trader Joe's Roseerose, AC. Okay. Not yet, at least. So we're at the office and Christine comes walking in and Maya's babbling. She's like, guess what? I got another email from a guy in France saying he wants to go into real estate and I'm like, oh God, quiet, Mitterrand. Carla Bruni, she wants to sell houses now.

I'm like, oh God. I'm having this like, who has time to waste like that? Jason's like, hey, who works harder? All right, the dog or Brett, right? The dog does show up more. Let's give the dog some credit, guys. That's funny. Are you going to give the dog leads also? Like you give to Miley? Is that what you gonna do?

Even this dog gets more leads in me. So Christine's like, guys, I am so excited. I've been planning and like seeing renderings on this wedding for so long. Yeah, and I'm like, you know, like I'm not nervous at all because you know me I'm like the best planner ever like I knew immediately as soon as we got engaged I was like I need a dress from go have go up there's just like so much to this wedding you know it's theatrical it's dramatic and I was like how many people do you have? It's small, just close friends and family. Like 80.

Yeah, but here's a quick pro tip. When the band stops playing, you better run for the doors, otherwise you might get killed. Hashtag red wedding. He's everyone going and she's like, yeah, what the vassal, Christian. Well, I sent her a text message just like checking in. Like, are you coming to the wedding? Like, no pressure, but do you want chicken be for a fish? I mean...

No pressure, but chicken be for fish. I mean, yeah. So, Maya's... It's not the begin. It's not the begin. Maya's like, well, it's gonna be hard because you're talking to someone who's doing the exact opposite of what you're doing. You know, it's like you're getting married and she's, you know, her marriage following a part. You know what I'm trying to say is she's going to the, it's like, yes, Maya, we know, we understand it. We get the ironies.

It's like me working with Mary. Mary getting leads, I get no leads. It's like the opposite day So speak of Mary they just cut they keep putting in Mary and she's like nodding and putting lotion on her hands And I kind of felt like the act of the lotion was keeping her upright It was like the moment she stops like lotioning her hand she falls over She's like must do this it keeps like, must do this. It keeps me stable. Must do this. Mary's head was fully tilted to the side. Like her spine was on her cheek. Like her neckbone was on her cheek. So what the hell Mary, turn your head up.

We're having a conversation. So then Krashelle enters and she gets her own tricksy stinger. Hey girl, you better watch out. Nobody's gonna push me around. I'm like, she just walked through the door Can we just relax? I know they're playing they're playing this song like I'm about us I'm about us like hi everyone

You look snazzy chicken beef or fish How was your trip with your family? Was it beef chicken or fish? If you had to rank at our scale of beef chicken or fish, which would you choose? Is that vegan? It was really good. I can't breathe again. Breathe again. Hey, how about you better back off the music? All right. That's mean polls job, bitch. You know, if I had to choose one thing to stop breathing, I can't decide if it would be a cow, a chicken, or a fish. What do you think, Michelle?

Well, I wanted to come back and make sure no one took my desk. Oh, don't worry. Jason gave the listing of your desk to Mary. So, and then, then, Michelle just drops her entire laptop, which would be an omen. She's like, oops whoops. I dropped it

Did you drop it on a chicken fish? Everything's gonna be fine guys. Don't worry. I'm like it's only laptops. So I got phone call from France and they said I want to get into business of opening up laptops And I said oh god, God, not again. You have time for that. So Chris says, like, yeah, going back to my family gave me the courage I needed to face everyone. I mean, at least we don't live there.

Right? Right. Right. Have you been to St. Louis? Wow. You should have seen the plates of calories they serve to each other. I mean, totally unironically. The arch is surprisingly large. So, Crystal, does that thing where she starts nodding

and blinking her eyes really wide? And she goes, what's been going on? She's like, well, we were just talking... Oh, no, I'm so sorry. Crystal says what's been going on. And Christine does that big blinking thing. And she's like, oh, we were just talking about my wedding. I have so much to do. I have to go look at my dress. Again, second fitting. Like right now it's only the shell of it because we're putting a new carburetor

and a soul in it at some point. But right now, you know, it goes in the shell, et cetera. Wedding. How about you? Wedding, yeah. And she's, and Crystal, it goes from the shelf, et cetera, wedding. How about you? Wedding, yeah. And Chris Shaw is like, oh my God, your wedding is in a few days. I totally forgot about it, because my marriage

is crumbling right now. I totally forgot, gosh. And then I just got invited dancing with the stars. Did you get invited to do that too? Because if you're wedding, oh no, only me. Oh God, I just keep forgetting about your wedding. Oh, when is it again? Oh no only me. Oh God. I just keep forgetting about your wedding When is it again? It's on Sunday. Oh

Does that thing where she just picks up her phone? It doesn't even touch it. She just looks at it like oh You're wedding I forgot Listen Kraschal you don't have to apologize or explain anything to can be for fish. No, totally. You've been a little preoccupied hurting an innocent hot man who has his own side of the story. So I understand. It's like, but I didn't even RSVP. I mean, look, it's like divorce papers.

No advance notice needed, right? I got you fish. That's your least favorite, right? Okay, I got you fish. Um, I'm wearing black and all my guests are wearing white. She's like, oh, I can't wear my white ink dress. I had this Halloween, so I can put blood all over it. And burnt non vegan things, and you can burn it.

Yeah, your scene goes, that's the fucking spirit. Michelle, I like that. A dead bride. I like that. What gonna take that crown?'re gonna take that crown. We're gonna take that crown. And then the music changes again. It's like, let me, let me show you how I do this thing. I know. And Trixie actually loses her mind because it starts off with her going,

wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I'm like, could someone check on Trixie? I think she might be having a stroke. Yeah. She starts short-circuiting over there. Yeah, she's like let me show you how to do this thing Let me show you how to do this thing this thing this thing and it's just like Christina like a scene's house Just like in this like David Buster's room. Let me show you how to do this thing. Oh hockey. Oh, is that her house? Yeah, that was Christine's house. That was like the basement Was that her house? Yeah, that was Christine's house. That was like the basement.

It was like a Dave investors type place. No, it was, and I really liked her bar stools and I'm a little mortified, but I actually messaged her on Instagram. I was like, where did you get those bar stools? And I'm still waiting to hear that. I'm sure they're totally affordable. I'm sure they don't cost $5,000 each.

I'm like, are they on Wayfair? They're totally in our price range Ben. So I have there's like, oh my god, are you ready? It's like, I have so much. I have flowers coming from the vendors. I have Family and stuff coming. I have spend. I hope you don't mind. And to be honest, like, oh no, I love being in the nitty gritty of planning a wedding, you know, like one day I might have with a hot person who has a side to the story. I want to be in the room where it happened. Sorry. I just felt like it was a song that should have been in Hamilton. Two sides of the story. Anyway, I mean, that wasn't us, but this is us. But my right girls, anybody. So, um, so, yeah, Christine's like, yeah, so sorry, we have to be in this David and Buzzfars room. I hope my boobs and how there's like, how's that ever happened before? No, never.

Like my boobs are like, I'm tech. I was like, are you pregnant? No way. Have you been sec? Yeah, I've been, you've been sec. No, there is no way. No way.

I've only been throwing up every single day for no reason, but no way that I am pregnant, okay? Yeah, she's really trying it with this pregnancy thing, you gotta love it. This is like classic housewives end of the year. Am I pregnant? No Ramona, you're not pregnant. Yeah.

So then Heather says to us, she's like, I think the scene is not ready to be a mom. It's like a lot of work and she'd need like 10 nannies. However, I would be so ready to be a mom. In fact, I like tol taric. Like, I'll just be the mother of your children right now. They can just start calling me mom even if we're not even married. Okay. Even if I'm in my mountain cabin, they can just call me mountain mommy. Okay, I'm so ready to be a mom.

Enough about these shenanigans. I want to. What's going on, girls? A shag awkward. I know you had an interview with us magazine, Heather. She's like, oh, yeah. Us magazine introduced, interviewed me in Tariq about moving in together and our love for each other because we have so much love together

that we're moving in together and the kids and how much we love each other. And then she goes, and how are you supporting Krashell? And it was just like, it was super fast and I caught me off guard because I thought she said, how are you supporting Taric because the article is about me and Taric, but she said Taric's name she pronounced it like Krashell. So I was really confused at first and then I realized she was talking about Krashell and I was like, ew, this is an article about Taric and I, because everyone cares about what Tarq and I are doing.

That's why you're writing this article because you have an organic interest in what we are doing. So I said, I haven't gone to Tarq and Krashell. So I just like texted her and I'm just giving her her space. She's a strong woman who's now divorced from a very hot man. And they were pretty together and she'll just be a little bit less pretty now. And when wishing her all the best and I'm sorry that their relationship

can't work out the way mine and Tark's works out. And that's all I said, I was caught off guard. Yeah, I mean, I just texted her some emojis of vegan things, I said, you know? Of course, like that's what the press does, Heather. And Heather's like, yeah, like, if they could have emailed me and said, hey, can you comment on,

Chris Schell, I would've said, no, have you heard about my new best friend? Who's the daughter of Tarak? Who's in love with me? And then we see a headline of what this article actually was. Heather Ray Young talks Chrishell Staus and Justin Hartley's divorce, Colin. They were a great couple.

Chris seems like, oh, wait. Heather goes, yeah, so they. I had a ghost. Yeah. So they took what I said about Chrishell and they used that as their story. And so I texted Chrishell right away and I said, are these eggplant emojis vegan? Yes or no? And I said, listen, Chrishell, we were doing an interview. They were doing an interview about Tarek and I because everyone cares about Tarek and I and they just snuck it in.

I was totally caught off guard is my guard vegan. Yeah, well, I mean, look, I know I think everyone knows that you didn't have like any bad intentions. I mean, we all know that. I mean, look, I only saw US magazine at a party once, but they were totally nice and trustworthy to me. So I don't think that they screwed you over. I mean, we all know like with the magazine, there's like literally two sides every story. Like you can start on page one, but I like to start at the end and read backwards.

And that's just like a second way of reading a magazine. That's all I'm saying. Well, I said, Chris Shull would talk. She goes, oh, she knows that. I mean, but she sees your baking cookies articles. You're going to CVS articles. I'm doing this like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, clapping. And Chris, she's like, yeah, she sees your going to the restaurant articles. CVS articles and divin is like Laughing

She sees you're going to the restaurant articles. Oh my god Tar can I pick today articles? They're just like laughing at Heather and Heather looks so alarmed like she's like oh god They figured it out. Oh god. Oh god, and so, Christine's like pretty much tells us, like it's pretty obvious that Heather calls the paparazzi, like they don't just like show up. And Heather's like, no, it's no, they, they, no, I don't call the paparazzi, I mean, people see that where we are on Instagram, they just show up, they show up when we tag exactly where we are, okay, we don't call the paparazzi at all.

Yeah, well, people hire publicists to get the paparazzi there. Like, they'll call and drop hints, okay? That's how the whole paparazzi thing works. It's not like, like, I'm in the bushes, like a mountain style. I mean, yeah. So then, Davina's like, yeah, but what about that cookie article? And then we see another headline that says,

Heather Ray Young makes cookies with boyfriend, Tariq El Musa's kids. Too cute not to post and share. Yeah, there's like, no, there was a video on fucking Instagram. That's why they wrote an article about it because it's important. People read out, watch our videos. They want to know more and more and more. How do you make cookies?

How do you make cookies with children? How do you make cookies that are vegan? How do you make cookies that are filled with so much love that Tarak and I have for each other, people want to know. I mean, you have someone on retainer to do these things, Heather. It's like, um, you know what, she does do some sweetly things, but come on guys, I can't help it if people are obsessed with me, okay. She's like, I'm pissed off, you guys are fucking annoying me and you keep saying things

that are pissing me off. I'm like, you know, you're making fun of me. It's like, it's really annoying. I'm pissed off. You guys are fucking annoying me and you keep saying things that are pissing me off. I'm like, you know, you're making fun of me. It's like it's really annoying. I'm over it. You've done this for fucking times and I'm just gonna have to call us magazine right now and let them know that I am very pissed at you guys. Where are you mad? No. And then there's a neon sign hanging that says, send nudes. And Christine's like, which is being funny. It's like well, it's not fucking funny to make me look stupid We're not You have nothing nice to say to me. Don't fucking talk to me

We have nothing to say come on Funny because I think we have a lot of things to say that are very nice two sides two sides the story Two sides, two sides, the story. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. I'm a boss. So now we're at Maya's listing. We're in the valley. In the valley.

Yeah, I'm a boss in the valley. So this house is like the MC Escher house. It's like everything's going into different angles. There's like a fireplace with the green flames. Nothing really makes sense. And she's like, so crucial isn't the only one getting listings in the valley. I'm excited to show Jason this amazing property He's like, oh wow like look at you with a property. Wow cool. It's really amazing. Wow, that's look Okay, this is good because now that crucial is you know off in divorce land. You can take care of this

So cool. Let's see. And so my eyes like, well, I think this is a good option for someone who maybe cannot afford the heels, but wants a cool space and still wants to feel like the heels, even though they are in dumpster of city. He's like, well, for something that's normally really ugly, the retaining wall, I mean, they did a really nice job with that. They made it super on purpose ugly, which really brings it up a notch. Hey, let me guess. It's probably worth 2.3, 2.4. He probably wants 2.8, right? Am I right? I got it right. I got it right. Brad, Brad, I got it right. It's like, you got it. So they go through the house and it's pretty,

So they go through the house and it's pretty, it's pretty bad. It's just like another boxy, boxy, modern, another boxy, modern. Weird angles and I don't like it. I like boxy modern actually. I love me a boxy modern. This I did not like. Yeah, this is like, they're like,

get whoever designed 24 hour fitness. Yeah. And have them do a house in the valley. Yeah. And that retaining wall was ugly. And the entire thing, it felt like an influencer house. You know, I was like, ew, like, where did the TikTok videos being shot? Yeah, the TikTok house.

So she's talking about how she has to go to Miami because she's got to give birth, obviously. And so she's going to get her broker's license. And she's like, so I wanted to see if you want to open up and up and up and up and group in Miami. I think there's some markets for up and up and up and up and up in Miami. I mean, it's luxury, sexy. Maybe Mary can take all of my listings long distance. You know, well, you know, it's a significant financial investment, you know, because you have to buy a desk and that's a lot. So I don't know, it's risky. And Miami's not my first choice.

You know, I'd rather have New York Orange County. And you know, I pretty much was like, wherever Bravo has a franchise, I'll be there. And Miami's not on the cards at the moment. But yeah, so I don't really think that's gonna happen. But if you were a Mary, absolutely, love that. Love that for Mary. Yeah, she's like, well, I'll sing what happened with Chris Shell.

Made me open my eyes more. I should put my marriage and my family more priority, but opening office isn't cheap. So he's like, well, I'm not going to commit. We'll see. We'll see what happens. Don't leave my I'm not going to be happy if you leave. Yeah, Maya. I need you. My family come to LA. Why are you in Miami anyway? Come to LA. Yeah, why can't your husband move? Yeah, how about that? It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap-ins-c- Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. So now, um, now we're in this like really cute house It's like in like this bamboo forest as Christine and Karamo from Quirai or or as I like to reference in Karamo from real-world Philadelphia Woo! Or as I like to say, Karam with an O at the end. Hoooooooo!

Where's I like to say Karam with an O at the end? Oh! No, it's someone saying your last name and then like realizing name in a mistake. Karam, O. Oh. Yeah, like at any award show. And the winner is Karam, O. Sorry. Oh, no, no, no.

Also this house is the cutest and it's totally my kind of house. This is the house. I loved it. I think it's probably one of the best houses we've seen all season. And we actually find out pretty soon that it's a rich neutral house, neutral, neutral, neutral, who is like a very famous architect. So that makes sense because there's an actual architectural vision behind this instead of just like another MC Escher house in the valley.

So it's just like just Karama from Kriry. It's a friend. I think he'sher house in the valley. So it's just like, we're just, Karama from Kriry, it's a friend. I think he's looking to read the book, okay? Like there's a pool, there's a view. What more could you want? So this is a scene where they try and convince us their friends and it's hilarious. Yes.

Yeah. Karama has, like, have you ever heard of each other? I know, and he's like, well, you know, I wanted to start a skincare business. So I would love a place that has an office and a home space.

I'm like, okay, that's called a house. And also, thank you for coming on to promote your skincare business. Now I know why you're here. Yeah, and she's like skincare, oh, that's right, I read about it. And he's like, yeah, so I want, yeah, I need an office. She's like, oh, you know, well, I've been so stressed.

Like, well, everyone's been stressed because, well, let's face it, my wedding planner is stressed because you know, wedding. He's like, oh, you're wedding. That's right. I read about it. I'm like, okay, you guys. How close are you? I know. And then he like one officer.

He's like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, that wedding sounds great. I'm having a Ferris wheel at my wedding. So just like that's a little bit crazier than yours I don't know just something like that Were you saying something about how you and Christian have crazy sex because I have such crazy sex I can't have low ceilings just a little crazier than yours Christine She's like well crazy sex must be with a poor person sex must be with a poor person. So, yeah, it's like just feeling too small. We have crazy sex. I'll kill, I'll kill him. And that's true. So they go out to look at the pool and it's like a little green algae infected

swap pool. I thought it was lovely. And you know, it is, I have, I'm like, I'm sorry, but. So here's the thing, ever since Kyle Richards shaded her own Lime of Bean-shaped pool and was like, I need a rectangle. I've been like, you know what? Fine if you want a rectangle, but don't make it seem like these bean-shaped pools are crazy. So when Caramo came out there, Caramo came out there and was like, you know what, I have a rectangular pool and I loved that this is like grotto shaped. I was like, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for standing up for the little guy. It's more the greenness of it. It just needs to be clean.

Yeah, it was pretty green. Yeah. So, it was a beautiful house and if he doesn't take it, he's crazy. They start talking. He's like, so housework and it's great, but these bitches are exhausting. I mean, how many times can you yell out chicken, beef or fish before you can get a goddamn answer? It's like I get it. It's like having a second family but they're always in your life. You love each other but they're always involved. Am I right? I'm on a TV show too. It's like oh oh my god, me too. I'm really not. Well, please, I'm ready to tell me your co- I'm right about that. Please tell me your co-

worker can do more than put avocado on a toast. Please tell me that. I'm actually not so sure about that. Have you met Heather? Oh, so she's like, yeah, so split. It's like Mary and a man sat in Chris show on one side and me and Daphina and Heather on the other side. It's like, I want to hang out with that side.

Oh. Oh, okay, see you never. So then, now we're back at the office. And D'Vina and Heather are working at their desk side by side, but not talking. And D'Vina's like, uh, do you think Jason would be proud of us working so hard right now? Uhhhhhh, yeah. Yeah, like we're working so hard and he's at lunch and I'm wearing pink snake skin and you're the only loser here to see it.

Do you mean you're sick? Yeah. So, hey, look at me having a casual conversation. I wanted to ask you, how are you feeling about that talk after Christine's because like I felt really bad when I saw you get really upset. Like you know I didn't want to upset you. Well it's just that like we're it's like it's not like we're calling Papa Rotsie and telling them to follow us. We're just announcing our location on social media and living letting them choose to follow us.

I mean you have to remember, Tarak's been on TV since 2011. He's basically an icon, and I'm surprised he hasn't been honored at the Kennedy Center, okay? He had a very positive voice, so people are interested to see what he's doing, and I'm new in his life,

and so they're gonna wanna see what we're doing, what sort of cookies we're making, what sort of drugstores we're going to, what time we go to sleep, people want to know. Yeah, and Mike Kristine, it's like, is she jealous or something? And if you know, it's like, oh, no, I don't think that. Or maybe she just doesn't know like how it works. I love that all the people of selling sunset think they know how paparazzi works.

It's hilarious. I don't think that Christine really understands how paparazzi like works. You don't just call them to get attention. Like, I know that she can't handle that I get more attention than her and she needs to spotlight, but Christine, your day will come.

Her day has come, because she was a guest on Watcher Crappens. Thank you very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And Dvina is like, well, I just want to apologize again. I didn't intend to hurt your feelings and Christine didn't either. Do you need to call a paparazzi right now to get a picture because I did do my hair today. So. Well, I appreciate the offer. I actually already texted them. And if the question is whether or not I'm coming to the wedding of course I'm coming because I Love love, okay, so any chance I can go to a wedding. I'm gonna go cuz I love love love

So sweet time Get ready everybody's getting everyone. Oh the song is like sweet times Sweet times I can't read it and then we're at Krasel sad in her house. I know at least you changed the drapes. Thank God I get reddit, a sweet times, I get reddit. And then we're at Criselle's sadden her house. I know, at least she changed the drapes. Thank God, those black lodge drapes from last week. Those were rough, those red velvet drapes.

Oh, that was a city of light. It really does show how much good staging can help a house. It really does, exactly. And a TV show. So Criselle's home and Mary comes over house. It really does. Exactly. And a TV show. So, um, so, Chris shells home and Mary comes over and she's like, Mary, like, Todd, her's in, like, bangs into a few counters and finally settles down onto a couch. And she's like, this is so cute. It's like nice and airy and, and

small and very single woman. It's so cute. What a beautiful place to die alone in. Congratulations. Look at those views. They go to and they're like, look at those views and you just see smog over the city. Yeah, it's like a flipper of downtown covered in smog. Just brown air. She's like, oh my God, the best part?

Is it you're gonna know the hills so much better? Like, you're gonna meet all these people and like get all their listings. Good vibes, good vibes. Oh look, you even have a view from your kitchen for when you don't cook. So it's like, perfect. Because you can be sitting here alone,

which you will be doing a lot, because you're alone, and you can just look at the view and be like, somewhere out there, there's a person for me. It's amazing, I love it. You're not. I can totally see your future cat walking across this countertop. It's gonna be great.

This place checks all the boxes. It's big, it's roomy. Have you responded to chicken, fish, or beef yet? Because I've just got a text from her statement and she wants to add those boxes onto your checklist. Hope you got a bedroom big enough for a twin bed. You're going to need it. Chris says like, Oh, I heard you in pretzled Alpunch. She's like, um, yeah, we sold it to a family that was looking for like more of a,

like family style home. And also had no taste. Yeah, they like fireplaces and ponds. What can I tell you? They've never been in a house before. We just rescued them from the woods, but they somehow had a lot of money. So, Chris, I was like, yeah, I just don't know how sentimental it's going to be being

at that wedding. I mean, I'm doing my best to compartmentalize like today. It's business. It's productive. You're getting another listing. I'm still alone, but watching two people say their vows, I mean, I just don't know if that's a good environment for me to go into right now, you know? Yeah, and Mary's like, so have you talked to

that Hawkeye used to be a Marri-2? And she's like, no, I haven't even talked to him. He's like, well, he needs to have a conversation. Like, no, not freaking text. That's like, absolutely crazy. Yeah. Is he like, is it possible that he just has his mouth full of like salami and cheese? Or is that just my man? Does that?

I mean, a man who doesn't, bats of aggressively shove pepperonine his face where you're trying to confront him about something. Really, doesn't love you, am I right? I told Romaine, if you ever want to divorce me, don't do it over text, do it while you're mouth is full of Swiss cheese. So yeah, Mary's like, yeah, he needs to call you. This is bullshit.

And Chris says, you know what I need? I need friends, some wine, maybe some vodka. She's like, well, if you're going to start over in a sad place, this is the place to do it. So congratulations. So now it's Christine's wedding day and all these crazy, like, stark white decorations are going up. And Christine is in her black wedding dress, also known as just like a standard evening

gown, very lovely. And everyone's showing up. The twins are like in tuxedos looking very 20. The place looks, it looks amazing actually. It's crazy. It's just super, super white and there's a swan. Yeah, there's multiple swans. And then did you notice at the,

when it turns into the reception, they're black swans now. They changed out the swans. Oh, I did not notice that. Yes, they have like a swan scene change. It's like, all right, Hanky and Panky, this is a big moment, your first live show, go do it. The only thing this was missing was Natalie Portman

stabbing the girl from that 70s show. This was very Black Swana, loved that. It is very Black. Well, the cake sort of filled that role, you know, when they sliced the cake and the blood came out, I was like, this cake has been directed by Darren Aronowski. Yeah, I love that they showed that,

because that was her big thing. I bought the cake, I looked like it's bleeding. And it does. It was amazing. Yeah. This wedding was amazing. I was like, damn, like, I actually thought it was really cool that she had the black wedding dress and everyone was white. It was like over the top and ridiculous but it was

very cool. So she everyone is at the wedding and the guys like, bro bro look at those swans bro they're like tripping right now they're like totally drugged up. Yeah. Romaine is like weirded out by them. He's like I vote vote they were thick, but didn't even like this. Wow. Oh my god. I almost spit out pepperoni So the girls are like, oh my god, let's take a picture guys. Romaine get your head out of it. You can't be in everything. Yeah And then and then they're they're making jokes about the swan about like Maya's like, oh, you know what? Like swan or swan or drugged up, but then we got to cook them for dinner and Heather goes, no.

So, Chris, so I'll come stand. She's like, hi guys. So she's sad, which is understandable. Understandable. It was an understandable, wow, wow. And she's like, you know, this is a huge day for Christine and you only get married, oh, well, I was gonna say you only get married once.

Fuck, that's depressing. It's like sad, but also like, I was like, oh, you're doing our job for it. It's for us. So then Violins, and of course, she's like two hours late to her own wedding. Mantle's like, wasn't supposed to start at five, like this, this wedding is later than me.

Yeah. Um, so then this black, uh, horse drawn carriage shows up and, and Christine gets out and then she starts walking up the aisle. There's a lot of dry ice at this wedding. I don't think I've ever seen a wedding. I don't think I've ever seen a wedding with dry ice, but this one had like a, like, there's definitely like a fog machine going on over drive. Yeah, it's like her seen a wedding. I don't think I've ever seen a wedding with dry eyes, but this one had like a fog machine going on over dry. Yeah, it's like her horror movie wedding.

I loved it. And so there's like a little girl dressed like a black swan with, you know, little bones. Or at least it wasn't that hot. Or at least it wasn't that hot. Or at least it wasn't that hot. Or at least it wasn't that hot. And the thing is throwing a set of roses or whatever.

So cute. Yeah. And then Christine starts coming down the aisle. And then Jason's like, what the fuck is that? What the fuck? Because then there's like snow starts coming down. I'm like, oh my god, that's so dope. What is that?

Is that danger of like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, snow. It's like, that's a little aggressive. And it's like pouring down snow. and people are covering their heads with their jackets Can you turn down this snow please? That's a strike playing all my- Chris Shell is like, she's like choking on this stuff He's like looking up and opening her mouth and then choking

What do you think is gonna happen? So then, they get up to the altar, Christian, his tux is like, I was like, all this money, you can't get a tux that fits right. All this money. Hey, listen, goal size. Well, I always say go for your goal size.

That's right. So the preacher's like, I'm never gonna find out about those tools now. The preacher's like guys marriage requires love award we use with sentimentality. When in fact, it's our natural state of being shut up. Ring. Yeah. Yeah. Rings are circles. There's no beginning and they're no at guess what? They're also newses. You know what I mean? Like stop trying to up police circles. Once this efficient start doing the ring thing, he started doing the, you know what I mean?

No beginning, I was like, okay, cut to Creshell on end on three, two, one, and there's no end. Creshell, they just cut right to Creshell. I was like, yep. This is no longer I, this is now us. Guys. And did you notice there was like a shot,

they had like a camera that was like behind the altar, that was like looking on the crowd. And I think it was supposed to be like looking at, Michelle starts like looking down. Obviously, this is like very hard for her. And so she's looking down at her lap. And I think we were supposed to be looking at the fact that she was looking down at her lap.

But I didn't realize she was there. And it was just like this guy just staring at the camera in front of her, the guy who's sitting in front of her. I was like, why are we focusing on this guy for like 10 seconds? He's just like not blinking, just staring. Did you notice him? Yes. And it's got to be annoying to be getting, not captured, you're getting married on TV, but you're getting married and there, there's a camera crew on your biggest enemy. She's got her own camera crew getting over there looking, looking all sad. Yeah, and she's like crying and she's sort of like slashed over. She sort of looked like she'd fallen asleep, but she was crying and

She's basically going through it Yeah, so Anyway, they get married. Woo. So then Jason and Khrushchell. So they're all talking at the Reunion the I wish they had the reception. The reception. They're all at the reception now. And the black swans are in play. The black swans are in play. And Brett's like, hey, there's a dessert tray.

You want to split one Heather? She's like, I'm vegan. Yeah. And then there's also Heather goes, Heather's talking to people and she's like, so what do you think? It was so beautiful, right? It was like a winter wonderland. It's like, yes, Heather.

It was literally a winter, like that the entire point. It was a winter wonderland. She's like, oh my God, that girl, that girl I talked to, she's the one who made the dress. I'll be right back guys. And there it goes.

There is no way he's sucking up with her. And he like runs across the reception. And he runs across the reception. He had no chill whatsoever, not whatsoever. So then there's these little hot chocolates, like you mentioned, and then Jason's talking, he goes, so I didn't go to your wedding. Chris, I remember the wedding that you had. That was publicized because you were marrying a celebrity and you're having a forever wedding. So I didn't go to your wedding, Chrishell, remember the wedding that you had? That was like publicized,

because you were marrying a celebrity and you're having a forever wedding. So I didn't get to go to that, but this one here was the most beautiful one I've ever seen, right? Like, how did you feel it was, Chrishell? Was this as beautiful as your wedding? What'd you think, Chrishell? Huh?

So, like, well, don't worry, it would have been pointless if you had gone to my wedding. And I'm- I like that. I like bitter, Chrishell. Like, bitter, Chrishell's like my favorite. Yeah, I that. I like bitter creshell. Like that. Like bitter creshells like my favorite. Yeah, I'm more of a pointless. And so a man says like, so how's your place, creshell? She's like, I mean, it's light and bright like me. It's just like me. Lost. It's lost. It's lost in hopeless

basically. She's like, well, you've been through so much. You you moved in. You decorated. You pulled it together for tonight. She was like, it was tough, but I'm glad I came. They're like, you're so strong. So then Mary's like, oh yeah, hey, Heather. I saw the article you did about Krasal. My sword will have her. Did you show it to her?

And Krasal was like, I found found it because I had literally nothing to do Every night this week because I'm alone now. I found it on my own I'm out there's like it wasn't about Krashell though Tarrick and I didn't interview about us moving in together And being in love and the reporter like skipped in like he slipped in there like how are you supporting Krashell? I mean How are you supporting Krasel? I mean... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm like quiet, because somebody quiet that harp down. So, it was like, so all they did was ask how you supported her. Is that what you're saying? She's like, yeah, and then like two hours later, there you go. She goes, oh, that's all it took, like two hours later.

Mm. Heather. Mm. And so, Michelle's like, well, it's a very vulnerable situation to be in and like, basically the press is asking like, anyone I know, anything, they're trying to get any information and I've just been told like, legally not to say anything in addition

to what I've already said, a lot on this show, you know? So I'm just trying to keep my mouth shut unless it's snowing and I just don't want to cause a scene that someone's wetting. Yeah, and Chris says, like, you know what? Right now, there's a lot of things I would like to say but none of them are good. Okay, this is someone's wedding and the last thing I want to do is ruin a wedding and how there's like

I'm sorry. I shouldn't know better. I'm very like, um, you know what? Like she's the only one who should say anything and anytime anybody asks us we just answer we support her and That's it. Well, why are you? And then Heather my god. Yeah, and then out of no now this is And then Heather, my gosh. Yeah. And then out of no, now this is Davina. So Davina, who is now sitting there dressed like a Yeti. So which is even better about the scene

is that she's about to make an ass out of herself and be totally obnoxious. And she's dressed like a big furry monster. So it really drives home the fact that she's like the villain. She's like, I'm not backing anyone up here, except for Justin. And I'm just saying that everyone, especially Justin, has their own side in every situation, right?

And so, like, when you didn't invite me to your wedding, for instance, which has nothing to do with this, but like, when you didn't invite me to your wedding, Mary, that was your choice, right? And like, I had my side of the story, right? And you had your terrible side of the story, too, right? That's right, that's right, that's right, right? That's right, right, Mary?

Yeah, like, right, Mary? Yeah, like to, to Krashell, Justin is the extremely hot person that dumped her. To me, Justin is the Prince from TV that brought me a bagel by the Debrookers open. So... She sighs, am I right guys? Mary's like, um, she's our friend and our family and that's her side. Always, always, she's like, but we don't know any details. just like but we don't know any details oh so we don't know any details right right guys right

and Mary's like do you know if you say to the press there are two sides of the store do you know what that could do to her I know for me it would just knock me over I mean to be fair this cupcake is about to knock me down. I'm down. I'm down. But like we don't know both sides. Okay, Mary's like that's fucked up. Okay. Thank you Thank you lady passing out muffins and hot chocolate. Thank you Look, that's fucked up. Okay, there's a respectful side and a non respectful side and she's like yeah, but literally like I know Zero like I don't know anything what do you want me to say no one's intervening. Don't say anything Davina.

No one is popping out of a bush to see what fucking Davina thinks. Davina why are you dying on this hill? A. At a wedding and B. Like Khrushchella is like barely keeping it together. I mean this poor woman is going through a traumatic divorce from an asshole who is nice to you once and like Yeah, there probably are two sides the story But do you have to like really voice this right now at this moment? Is this so important? You're being crazy and thank you for doing this because it's hilarious She's such an asshole

Such an asshole. So hilarious. So oddly like she's wrong. Let's see is right. We support her It's like, oh, but like so oddly like wrong. Let's see is right. We support her and it's like, oh, but crucial Michelle to be fair Michelle Justin has his own side right like I mean look you didn't get married to get divorced You know, you know, right, right? You know that right you know that right you didn't get married to get divorced It's just like what the fuck are you doing? What do you do everyone's, like, a man says like clutch and Krischelles, Ney. A man is like, could we stop?

Could we stop? Literally, could we stop? Remain. Do you have a cheese ball? We could just put in our mouth. Remain. And now there's horror music playing and Krischelles starts like crying.

And if he's like, I mean, that's all. She's like, I don't want to do this anymore. Gosh, she's going to leave. She's leaving. Oh, let her go. Let her go. All right, just let her go. I mean, hey What do you think of that? So did we upset her? Oh, like what did we upset?

That razor sharp power of observation that got her that 75 million dollar listing What now all season, you know, we've talked about this before but all season we've been waiting to see why everybody hates her so much Because people hate her and we're watching this week by week So now it's like two months later after everybody else has watched this but wow now I see you are a total dick You are a total dick She cracks me up though because she's even being a dick. She still awkward. And like even the way she tried to bring Mary into it, I imagine she must have been drunk or high on something. She's like, yeah, Mary, it's like when you didn't invite me

to that, you know that, that's right. Yeah, you don't get married, that's right, that's right. I mean, what? And then she's like, So they just tell her, listen, this is the finale, you have to go talk about this stuff. You've been saying it, I mean, what happened? She is good for finale fight.

This third finale in a row, she's fought with someone. So then D'Vena's like, listen, we want to be there for her, but I don't know if she wants us to be there for her. You know what I mean? That's how I feel. What? My wish. No, we don't know what you mean.

I think she does, like, what do you mean she doesn't want you to be there for her? If this is your version of being there for her, then yes, maybe she doesn't want her, you to be there for is your version of being there for her then yes maybe he doesn't want her you to be there for her in this capacity. So then Brett is over giving his romantic speech to his to the lady who made the dress and he's like oh you're insanely fit by the way you work out hey hold on a sec so krishell is storming out uh i'm not'm not gonna. I'm not gonna. So, listen, I watch a lot of Love Island, so that doesn't even phase me. That's like all the conversations on that show, like,

no, I like him, he's fit, you know? Okay. So then, Creshell's like, so Creshell storming out, she takes off her mic and breath's like, who the fuck up, Creshell? Who the fuck up, Creshell? Oh, is that a hot chocolate? I'll have one.

Heather, hot chocolate? Oh, if you're vegan, right, I forgot. She's, oh, she's over it. She's fucking over it He's like who upset her and Divina's like, you know what maybe Mary shouldn't have brought it up My I just goes oh So everyone is just giving Divina a death stare now and Then the receptionist I I'll read it.

I'll read it. And so Romaine is talking to Mary. He's like, what happened to Elia? And she's like, they were saying like, there's two sides to the stories. So he goes, who? She says D'Vina. And he's like, that girl, she's a fucking snake.

She wants to try to have my pepperoni, okay? Don't trust her. So Jason goes to talk to a divina. Oh, Brett, sorry. Yeah, Divina's talking to Brett, and she's like, you know, it's like there are two sides of her story, and I'm not defending him. I'm just saying there are two sides of her story,

and Khrushcheol's wrong, that's all. And Brett's like, yeah, I would say that, like, maybe you should say next time, like, you just can't tell from the outside. We can't judge from the outside. Maya's just looking at them them and she just looks exhausted. Like, I am too pregnant and too wanting to go back to Florida for this sheet. Yeah, I liked that he said, um, there's no two sides to the story of just leaving

your wife to be matched. Like, yeah, but like, I mean, that's what we're saying. He's like, no, there's no two sides, okay? And so then, uh, Romain's like, yes, every time there's an argument, every single time, the snake show up. Yeah. So now we see Krashelle at home.

This is like Philb now like three months later because she looks like sort of different. And it's like, Philb, there's like this gold filter on her home. It's like, it's like sunset at the Christel residence and she's like you know getting confronted by my co-workers is frustrating. You know and you know but maybe Tavina is right because maybe there are two sides to every story and maybe it's time for me to start writing a

new story. So I'm writing I'm just gonna my new story isn't I'm gonna stare out the window alone. Okay. So then back at the party, cut the bloody cake, and then, Kirstell is still looking out her window sadly, and then the bouquet is thrown and Heather catches that. And then someone from people shows up like, I got your call. So like, you're a thundered you catch it. Heather Ray Young catches flowers at a wedding plants to merit tarot tomorrow

And that's the end Selling sunset season three. What a fun show. I'm gonna miss this I know get back to shooting guys just wear masks and you know get cova tell us know how the productions are back up and running again They're just they've got quarantines and things like that. So, you know get on it. Yeah, get on it. Okay We still love you guys. Thanks for being with us the season you want for some more Netflix stuff come back tomorrow for great British bakeoff and Then we'll be back Friday with the secrets revealed and the next week we're gonna be recapping something new because we're gonna have a hole in our schedule So yeah, why don't you go comment on this article this Instagram post at watch what crap is on Instagram the selling sunset recap and Comment with what you guys would like us to take up. But not 90 day fiance. Not 90 day, we want to do that.

It's too long and our friends do that. Matt and Jake with 90 day gay is do great job with that one. So go listen to them. But yeah, come give us some show ideas. Bye everyone. Bye everybody. Watch what crap ends would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Allison King.

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