Watch What Crappens - Selling Sunset: Thanks(for)giving Mary Everything!
Episode Date: September 2, 2020It's Friendsgiving on Selling Sunset, but no one's happy that Mary's always taking. For this week's bonus about Luann's new song and Dorinda leaving RHONY, become a member over at Patreon.com.../watchwhatcrappens.**New merch! We designed lots of new face masks for Bravo lovers available at crappensmerch.com A portion of sales go to MedShare!Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Nothing, I'm very happy because it's Selling Sunset Day... P-P-P-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-. Pau-oo-oo-oo!
Love me some selling sunset.
Yes, me too. What a fun episode. This episode is called
Everybody Loves Merry.
Mm-hmm.
It's true. Everyone does love Merry.
Ugh.
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Let's get into everybody loves Mary.
Yeah, let's do it.
The episode opens up at Barry's Pizza.
And Heather.
Which I think is Mary, it rhymes with Mary.
Everybody loves Barry's Pizza.
Barry's Pizza is actually really good,
but it's really expensive.
So I never order it.
I am paying for that.
I'm paying that shit for pizza.
It's a lot crazy.
I ordered it once and I was like,
why is this cost to me $45?
Yeah.
So that's just something like inside LA scoop for everyone.
You know, one of the good things about being on selling sunset is not only do you know
what houses are about to hit the market, you also know what pizzas are overpriced.
So super important info coming from this show.
Yeah.
So Heather, Maya and Christine go to Paris, pizza, and they walk in and mine's like oh that pizza looks so good
Then again, I'm ready to eat everything. Am I right ladies? Am I right? I'm pregnant ladies. I'm kidding. I'm kidding
I'm kidding and Heather's on the phone
Um, and she says what are you doing here?
I'm making nail appointment. Ha I'm kidding
I'm kidding. They're still horrified that you even made a joke that you would eat everything.
They're like, how could you do that, Maya?
How could you do everything?
I'm Christine.
It's like working hard, or how do they working?
Bitch!
I'm just trying to support the family.
Tark said I have to put in the work.
I'm not unhappy by this at all.
I was watching Flipper Flop this weekend as I am want to do and you know, obviously he's divorced.
And so now Christina's not in every episode because she's also got a film Christina on the call.
You know what? We said put the tiles in by a Santa porous aunt.
We said death and furniture.
So she wasn't on this episode I was watching and
instead he has his little girl helping him and he's like what pattern should
go to gather and she's like wow that one's good that one's right I'm a mini
Christina. He's like you're gonna work for daddy one day and the whole time I was
like oh there's Heather's best friend. Yeah I hope she had a good nine-year-old birthday. So, how's the old girl who got a man's in so much trouble?
Yeah, seriously.
So the waitress comes by to take their orders and mine's like, oh, could I have peanut butter
smoothie, but like, is he milkshake, he's a milkshake, because I can eat everything
right now.
I'm just kidding.
I'm kidding.
Of course I go to the, I have unlimited amount of space
in my stomach, of course.
Damn the waitress is like, I mean, I can make it a milkshake
if you want.
Like, oh yes, good, thank you.
And Heather goes, I'm having water for lunch.
Thank you.
Christine gets sweet potato fries.
There are a pizza ria and they've got a milkshake fries and water between the three of them
So good
Hey, did you hear that Mara got a new car? Oh my god
Oh, maybe as we go Jason Feet are leads all the time so she can afford new car
Maybe if we had leads we could get Nissan Central, you know?
And Christine's like, yeah, it's like this.
And she gets a bowl, she puts it on another bowl,
and then another bowl.
She's like, that's what he does.
He's like, here, have all these bowls, Mary.
OK, all the bowls are for Mary.
And then they just do a close up shot of the stack of plates
she's made, like, ooh, damning evidence of favoritism.
He gets all the pie.
Mary gets all the pie, Brad girls.
Oh my God, I hope that's vegan pie, but I just imagined.
She gets all the pie and it doesn't need any calories in it.
It's so unfair.
So there's like, well, did you get anything with Jason ever?
And Christine's like, um you get anything with Jason ever and Christine's like oh once bitch
And Maya's like well bread to gave me one, but that's a bread. You know, this is Jason's company
I bring him deals all the time
But tough luck. We didn't date Jason. So now we just have to play with plates and stack them to make ourselves look like
powerful real estate
Christine my favorite reality show, um, saying, at the end of the day, there'll be nothing
from the thing.
And that's what you can get from the lack of the poor.
It's strong, little war.
I always sing that in my head when they say that at the end of the day.
Um, Jason tells me, like, I'm so hard on you because I know how
capable you are.
And like, we're both Alpha, so we butt heads, but I respect you.
And if I didn't give you shit, then I wouldn't respect you.
So does that mean that he doesn't respect Mary?
And does something that she's capable?
Is that what that's the implication of?
Also, I love how that comes full circle by the end of the episode.
Exactly, and that is also by the way the biggest line of bullshit that bosses tell people that they are abusing.
I'm only hard on you because I see so much potential in you. I know you can handle it. That's why I'm hard on you.
That's all. That's all. I wouldn't be hard like this on someone I didn't care for. It's called that's called abusing.
That's called abusive relationships. That's like when people say like you can't do any better than me or something like that. Just a my total mind fuck
God you're making me rethink my whole childhood. Thanks a lot, Ben
So my bad only hard on you because I believe in you now. I'm like you fucking abuser
I'm only hard on you because I believe in you and because I believe in you
I want to break your spirits that way you don't surpass me
I believe in you and because I believe in you, I want to break your spirits that way you don't surpass me. I believe in you. That's why I'm forcing you to play softball and cry on the middle of a field of boys who are later gonna beat you up.
Have fun with that!
So then, yeah, the girls like, what the men all just have huge egos. Everyone has ego.
And so, Maya is like, you know, I'm going to talk to Jason about maybe opening up up in a high-mourning group in Miami instead, getting my book, because license and eating
everything inside, I'm just kidding, I can't eat everything inside here, or don't worry,
I won't eat everything, don't worry.
I mean, there's like, yeah, I'm sick of egotistic males.
It's like, oh, out.
Owen?
They're all like a heath with each other.
And Chris, he goes, why don't you be your own fucking broker, Maya?
I mean, like, why don't you be your own fucking broker, Maya?
I mean, like, why not?
I mean, would you ever consider leaving?
Is that why I can finish your sentence?
Because I have already thought of these.
They have to think about it while we have smoothie shaky.
Heather, how's your water?
Is it good? Is it good? Is it feeling stomach?
Okay, good. I'll be the moon, breaking through the ceiling. I'll be the moon, breaking through the ceiling.
That's not the story of the moon.
The moons are not enclosed in a room. They're just like in their own. They're literally in open space.
It's literally the definition of space. That's what the moon is.
Sometimes I feel like Heather is writing these songs.
She is. She's like, ooh, Sometimes I feel like Heather is writing these songs. She is.
She's like, ooh, I love that.
I love that lyric.
Okay, the moon in a ceiling.
I love that.
I'd like to, I'd like to present my new song.
I'm having water for lunch.
Yeah.
Zero cow, zero animal.
Hurt by this Bev.
It's water forever.
Hmm. So we go to the three bedroom for bathroom 3.5 million dollar
redo that the girls are in charge of remodeling and stuff for the new
Colceos.
Yeah, it's a it's a final place and a man's on Heather are showing up and
Heather's like, can we hold each other down this hill?
It's like I'll stay a pill and I haven't eaten anything
except for water since yesterday,
so I'm a little on steady.
And they get their own song for trying to come down
the driveway is to Lutter Hills.
Like they're both helping each other wobble down
and it's like,
it's raining, the sky breaks down in pieces. This hill is harder to walk down than those stairs in that far away country, and no one has lost
Phyllis.
But if you think about it, the trajectory of the song, okay, I'll be the moon breaking through
the ceiling, so it breaks through the ceiling, but now it's raining because the sky is breaking
down in pieces, so I think the moon broke through a ceiling and then broke through another ceiling.
Rain is just a lunch that fell over.
Rain is school lunch.
Following on everybody.
I hate rain. It's like someone's spitting calories at me.
So they come, other demandsand that come into this house and how there's like, oh my god
It looks so much better
And amand says like, oh my god, the place is looking so good
But I'm hoping everything goes well because I'm still like trying to prove myself to everyone and also myself
Yeah, it's just really hard because I haven't sold anything.
So then Angel, the design manager, comes out and he's like, so this floor situation got
a little out of control.
There was like water damage.
By the way, water, someone, someone damaged lunch.
Oh my god.
Who beat up lunch?
Who beat up lunch?
Who was eating lunch on these floors?
Oh, he's like, it's gonna be $5,000 for more.
And it might as well say, um, okay,
well, one of the four's gonna be done.
It needs to be done within two weeks.
It's like, um, not gonna happen.
Okay, we have to pay expediting fees.
And she's like, oh my god.
Did you notice, by the way, that it like suddenly,
there was like a Stanley Kubrick piano in the background going
I was like expecting people to come out and masks or something. Yeah
Heather's like best is not gonna go well Jason's intimidating and like when a lot of money's involved
It's like he's fronting it. I do not want to give him the bad news about
lunch. So, that, so we have an extra week. That's an extra 5k. So I'm hoping to keep this at around
25k. So how, where are we at right now? And they're like 38,000. She's like, what? Where are
that extra 8,000 come from? I mean, how many lunch waters do we have to give out to these people?
Maybe if the mood was stopped breaking the goddamn roof.
So, he's like, no, it's 38 and the man's he goes, oh, I don't even see anyone working.
And then they cut to inside where there's three guys working. Does they just said hi, too?
Yeah.
They cut to inside where there's three guys working. Does they just said hi too?
Yeah.
First they spilled lunch on the floor,
and now they're not even working to clean it up.
So, man, it's like you got a column.
Now you can call him.
No, you can, you know what?
Let's make Mary call him.
Rochambo, all right, who calls him?
Rocham.
35,000, that's what it adds up to. We're past the math now, either. Okay, we're passed. So a man's has to call. And
she's like, you know, I mean, I started by saying Jason, I was early, ha, ha, ha, but
I'm going to miss an entire listing later today. So, bitch, you were 15 minutes late. Alright, Jason, it's a man's favorite person.
Heather has something to tell you.
Okay, are you in a good mood?
What's the bad news, girls?
Come on, what is it?
Just tell me the bad news.
A man's, so I have something to tell you.
I'm taking a call from my new best friend who's now nine years old and just picked out some new tiles on flipper flop.
All right, Jason, it's a man's again.
Um, so there was a lunch situation here and here's Heather again.
She's gonna finish the rest of the sentence.
The floors are fat because they ate lunch there.
It's gonna cost 19 million dollars.
Yeah, we have to send the floors to fat farm. It's gonna cost 19 million dollars. Yeah, we have to send the floors to a fat farm.
It's gonna cost a lot of money. So Jason's like, yeah, you know, I don't think the
client's gonna be happy girls, but guess what? There's no choice, all right? Because if we fail,
it's on us. So I'm gonna do everything that needs to be done, and I'm gonna front the money,
and you know what? You guys can stress about it. Like, wow, well, she's like,
well, we almost had Mary call you because it was so scary,
but then we figured that if she called you,
she might fall in love with you again
because you guys dated once.
Ah.
We were gonna have Mary call you,
but we didn't want her to get another house to sell.
We were gonna have Mary call you,
but we think that her garage is that capacity with all the car she's been buying lately.
So calling Mary is not gonna help.
Um, I-R-M-E-O-H rolling my eyes over here.
So then we see the valley. For some reason it cracks me up every time they go to the valley because they put up the valley and then we see Krashelle driving along and she's like, so this is
a valley village, it's a really cute area, it's super, super residential. There have been
about eight people who are really terrible who've moved over here recently, you may have
seen them on TV, but they're all around here, you don't have to even talk to them.
Don't worry, I have them have been fired, so they'll probably be in the raths all day every day.
Yeah they're probably just going to move on up to recita.
So you'll be safe here in Valley Village.
Oh recita, that's where Bueller was born.
Is it really?
Is it really?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Bueller from recita, do you remember Bueller?
He hates me.
Well wasn't recita also mentioned in Free Fallen?
And I have been ever since.
I fell in love with that little dog.
Free Fallen.
It's a cool, maybe it's not.
It mentions Venturable of Art.
Oh, yeah.
Well, this scene, of going to the Valley, has the best anthem.
I know where I'm going.
I'm in control.
And you keep your eyes on me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You keep your eyes on me.
Like wow, this is the most powerful song leading to the valley.
I think it's ever been written.
I don't think anyone who's gone to the valley knows where they're going.
Because then they wouldn't be going there.
So, Chris Shell is, so she's actually driving Marin Romain, uh,
because they want to do a flip. And, um,
and Mary says it's really exciting because Romain can do a lot of the work
himself, which saves them a lot of money, which, I don't know, I mean,
I believe he's very burly and I feel like burly men usually can do construction,
but I also feel like Romain's just gonna spend most of the time eating snacks.
Yes. I don't believe romaine can do shit.
I haven't seen proof that romaine is useful in any way.
And also this is not a flip at all.
Yeah, it's also not a flip, it's also a...
It's a house under construction,
but like the floor is everything's ready
for finishing touches in this house.
Like they probably start it.
Like, except for the office floor.
The office, did you notice that they're like,
well in here we have an office and like the floors were like
sloping. Like this is perfect for Mary.
The last thing that Mary needs is a floor that slopes.
She already has a hard enough time.
She already walks like she's on a very sloped floor.
So the last thing she needs is a more slope.
Well, maybe it'll make her look like she's walking straight.
Maybe she's always very steady on the sloping floor.
She's the only person on an elliptical train air that looks like she's just staying steady the whole time
So Romaine is just like they're looking at all these rooms and Romaine is just scowling and everything like
He's like mad that there's like no tray of snacks anywhere
Yeah, he really does have a butt face
So Chris sells like yeah as realtors we find houses before there's any competition and
She's like well eventually but whatever she shows in the house and the backyard and Romaine's like oh super cool. You can do barbecue
Wow, is that your personality coming through
Roman? Yeah. Roman. He's been watching a lot of flipping shows
because that's what every guy says. They're like, Oh, back yard
barbecue. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yeah. And then his and hers
closets and Krasel goes, the secret to a long marriage, and I
know the secret because I'm in a long marriage is his and hers
closets. No marriage will ever fail if you have his and her's closets.
And, Kraschels, like, whoa, this bathroom is amazing.
You guys, I'm getting a call.
So I'm going to take it right over here while you talk about guy things.
Say something about barbecue again.
That was really good, Romaine.
So they're talking about, like, yeah, this is really great because there's four bedrooms
So when your family comes to visit we can put them in there or maybe we want to start a family
Maybe something like that and he's like oh did you get the results? What did you get?
What did you get in there?
Music was on to the other one
I
What did you get
What do you think I got it's like why are you teasing this out Mary?
And he's like a moment to be coy. He's like you always said you are really really fertile
Wow, it's like that you always promise me you were fertile lady. I hope you was lying about it. Like my favorite shape, like my favorite shape, the chessens,
I thought you were fertile. She's like, well, I am fertile myrtle, but they recommend us freezing
eggs or embryos because every year the number of eggs diminishes.
But congratulations, you made a very fart-aloud lady!
I know, I mean, have you ever tried to make soufflé with old eggs?
He does not work, I understand these eggs very well.
It's like, I'm romaine, you know, these are not chicken eggs that she's talking about, right?
What, you're getting chicken eggs checked, that we have breakfast for a family right?
So then Christine and Divina, everything.
Wait, now before we get to Christina and Divina, the B-roll people went bonkers right
here because we see all these random ass shots.
First we see a lady with a bag posing for a friend like, Instagram.
And then we see two people walking on the street
dressed like Jack of Jack in the box.
They have like big ping pong heads,
but they have one of them has purple dreads
and one of them has pink dreads.
I was like, what is happening?
And then there were like these two twin girls
who were both dressed like vintage Britney Spears.
And the music goes,
I'm make it you want it, I'm make you want it so bad.
I was like, what?
One of these strange images and music sounds.
Like these crazy sounds.
Okay, so you know how Louis Vuitton has the brown bags with LV on them.
What are the bags that are gray with initials all over them?
And the same stuff.
It's Ross bags.
What is it?
Ross, Ross dress for less bags.
They give you those when you're doing it.
They do not, those are white and blue.
But there's another brand that's like that.
But they should.
It could be Louis Vuitton also, maybe,
just a different style.
Maybe, but they also show a close up of some guy's shoes
that are that.
Like Louis Vuitton shoes.
And then he'd like to move move one like he's pointing it.
And I was like, ooh, those are the douchey or shoes.
Where do we live?
I know, LA is crazy.
It's so stupid.
So Christine and DeVina are in the office.
And Christine's like, oh my god, this hair is so fucking curly, man.
Yeah, it's like super curly.
It is super curly.
I can't have my hair curled anymore
because Adnan subjected me to electric treatment
to my scalp so has a punishment.
So straight here for this, my life, girls.
So I guess we're having a friends giving at the office.
Ah, it's like, are you gonna go?
It's like, yeah, I guess.
And then the little dog jumps on Christine and she goes,
ah, this is Shenella!
This dogs have no sense of style.
And then she turns to Divina and she goes,
I'm gonna talk to you for a second.
I'm like, that's what you guys were already doing.
But continue.
I love that one.
That one's Someone transitions.
Jason was really hard on you. It's like, yeah, I mean, it was like good to notice that like everyone else was like backing me up.
Married in, but everyone else did.
Yeah, I'm married and like the one person not backing me up, but was married.
I don't know why he keeps getting hurt listings like maybe it's because of their
prior relationship, but when there are equals and like one person gets preferential treatment
because of that, that is unusual.
What's all I'm saying?
Yeah, like how does he not see we're all saying you're being tough on us and then heavily
favoring Mary?
I mean like how's he not even noticed?
Doesn't he realize how hard it is to give her Manila envelopes while she's tottering about in the office?
How does he not see that?
Well Mary has Stockholm syndrome, like anything Jason says. She's like yes sir, you're right sir. Yes sir
I mean the only one who says things are me and Maya
I guess sir, I mean the only one who says things are me and Maya. Yeah, Christine goes, I had lunch with Maya and Heather and Maya seemed really fed up.
She was stressed eating everything and saying, I don't know how much longer I can take this.
I'm so mad at Maya and then she flipped the table and she took some pizza dough and smothered
it on.
Heather's face and Heather passed out because it wasn't vegan.
And then she lit it all on fire and we're lucky to be alive.
Maya was so angry.
I'm like, she was not that angry.
I know.
I love it because when they were having that lunch, I was like, Oh,
Christina's asking these questions like she's being supportive and she's going to immediately go start shit about it.
You know, yeah, Maya said she wanted to start her own,
her own brokerage.
What do you think about that, Jason?
Yeah, and so, yeah, she's like,
I think if Maya Lee's, that's gonna be the straw that breaks
the very short camel's back, am I right?
You know, it's like a lot to bid up with,
and people could bounce, and if people bounce,
then they could like go high, and they could hit the ceiling. And if they go high, they could hit the ceiling.
And if they hit the ceiling, they're basically moons.
Good luck having a moon sell your house.
Ha-ha-ha.
Ha-ha-ha.
It's time for commercial.
It's time for a crap and...
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So then we go to Heather.
She's at a gallery because the person who owns the Fennel House
she has a gallery and last week she said, um, just so you know, if you want some of my at the my gallery to site the house, just come on boy and I'll get you some at. So Heather was supposed to
go to the gallery with a man's, because yeah, because a man's I was staging it. But cats like
say these are man's that coming and Heather was like, um, she's actually not.
She had a personal issue, so I'm feeling in for her.
Um, and whatever she's doing, I'm sure she's late.
So, uh, that's that.
And she tells us, poor thing,
has to go to court to get full custody.
Of course I'm gonna help her.
But unlike her, I'm not gonna reveal any personal information
about her having to fight for custody of her children publicly.
It's like, that's kind of what you're doing,
but I get your point, but just eat your water.
Yeah, so you eat your water.
So it has showing around the gallery
and how there's like, I mean, I'm not the expert
like a manza is,
but I'll do my best, especially given that she's not here for our appointment.
I'll do my best.
I hope that wherever she is, someone is forgiving her for being very late.
You know what?
I will say this.
I would like to fight for custody of that painting.
It's gorgeous.
I almost want to have a moment to date that painting.
I almost want that painting to court me a little bit.
I have to really divorce myself from these feelings.
Yeah.
I really hope that that painting can give me some kind of support.
So that was good to you, Amanda and and Mary who are probably the nicest dressed people to ever
go to City Hall.
Yeah.
I mean, wow, they look like they're going to like a club.
Yeah, they really do.
So they are going to court because a man's is fighting for full custody.
Full custody.
Fustody sounds like something British.
Do you have Fustody? So, custody sounds like something British. Do you have custody?
So, she's fighting for Tom over there,
full custody today, is it me?
It's a beautiful day, unfortunately,
that poor Haley has some custody issues dealing with.
So they go to the, you know, they have a bonding moment,
and it meant it's like, you know,
like I'm a little stressed about feeding them
and putting clothes on their back but you know and it's sad. Yeah well it's like it's like a real
thing you're like oh wait they're doing something real with their life right now so they go off to
the courthouse yeah and then we go back to the gallery where Heather is like she has to pick out
art and she's like this is actually my first
time picking out art for a home. I actually don't like going to museums and art gallery things. I don't
know if they're called art galleries or like something like that but like um yeah this is a lot.
This is my this is actually my absolute favorite art gallery. I've been be to be honest, I'm actually gone to an art gallery.
So, wow, and then she's just laughing.
She's like, ha ha ha ha ha, so stupid.
So, Kaz, like, well, this is my favorite artist.
This is Flory.
And she goes, what?
What?
Alphstehan.
Well, this one is by Punkbenda.
She's like, what?
Oh my god.
I love these colors. Yes, well this one is by punk bander. I'm like what oh my god
I love these colors. This is amazing. That's actually just the door
What is that say?
Gold exit that's the exit sign about the door
This one here. This is by Charles Patrick. It's actually international currency cut into tonnilated butterflies. I love it. Now what's currency? Oh my god, this one looks just like
a toilet. It is a toilet. Now this one here on the floor, what's this one called?
That's the floor. That one's ringing. Just get out. Get out. I love this one. This is amazing. You're not even inside the gallery anymore. You're
in traffic. I like a lion. Can I take this one? That's a lady's baby. Please put that down.
Oh, I love how this one feels. It's like that cool interactive art.
That's a street lamp, please. Stop, stop touching it. There's bubble gum nearby.
So then we go over to Christine's house and she's with Christian and she's like,
let's see if these are the bearing walls.
I can only imagine what she was looking at. It was probably her cake.
Okay, I want my venue to be held up by cake.
So Lisa, the party planner comes over
and Christine is like patting herself on the back
for, she's like, this is my first time
getting this far and wedding planning.
I mean, Lord knows I've been down this path
about 15 times, but this time we really,
like I think we're going all the way
She's I hope I don't turn into Julia Roberts
No, not the horror one the bride one wish it runs away on horse
You know when Julia Roberts was in that dr. Jacqueline mr. Hyde movie. I was terrible That's the one I want to be oh my god. I'm Julia Roberts right now. I totally forgot who I am what I'm supposed to be doing sorry
I mean less homecoming and more runaway pride, right?
I'm Julia Roberts and I want to spill orange juice on Hugh.
What's his face?
Sure.
Why is Jason Alexander trying to fuck me right now?
Okay, let's just get out of this Julia Roberts moment.
Look, I know Steven Soderbergh now, because I'm at that part of Julia Roberts life. And now every time
you see me, I'm an orange or in blue lighting. So Lisa's like, that's talk wedding. What's
your vision? What's the theme? And Christine goes, wow, I want to get married like in a church. And then she goes, a cathedral of sorts.
I'm like, okay, we'll just call up Paris
and see how they're doing with that.
No Trodon restoration to see if it's available for you.
This is so funny.
It's like, wow, I'm gonna get married in a church.
And I want it to be like Gothic winter wonderland,
like, you know, like I want to just wonderland, like, you know, like, I want to just snow.
Like, somehow, I think this thing goes, yeah, because you don't get that melee.
Yeah.
So then she's like, I want pasta and I want truffles, but I want pizza and fried things too.
Yeah, and a white cake with strawberries, like bleeding down, like to death to his part vibes,
you know.
Lisa's eyes are crazy. She's like, drawing of right like oh my god. Is this bitch crazy?
Oh my god. Oh my god. I think Christine goes, but I want the cake to be black on the outside
but then you open it and surprise it's white but it's red. But then there's a green part
and if you find the green part you have to make the cake next time because it's New Orleans and uh leases like do you want live bands it's just um we don't want any
problem I don't want any of that shit so you don't want the theme song to southern
charm is that what you're saying it's like dude dude don't want that song you know that like Bapapala bapapala bapapala bapapala bapapala
I don't want that shit
You know that song not song I really hate like
Bapala bapala bapala bapala
I don't think anyone playing bands play graduation songs
I don't want it just saying it
Fuck it fuck that song
Fuck graduation graduation songs? I don't want it, just saying it. Fuck it, fuck that song.
Fuck graduation.
Oh, so do you want a bridal party?
No, I do not want to do that bridal party thing.
It's distracting.
Like, I don't want to see people crying and sneezing
and swaying back and forth because they're drunk.
Basically, like, marry.
All right, I don't want any marries there.
If I could have married in a cage like at that one bar,
I'm down with that, I'm always okay with marionic cage,
but I want no bitches, no buffet, no speeches,
just a black cake, that's actually a white cake
that actually is a red cake.
Okay, that's what I want, in a cathedral.
And Lisa goes, tie.
I'm gonna tie a hair.
Oh, so now this, this is my favorite transition.
Oh wait, unless you had something else to say about that scene.
Oh, no, get for it.
Okay, so we hear Trixi and Trixi goes like this.
I'm gonna show you what I'm made of. I'm gonna show you I was born for this.
And then I cussed to someone slicing a baguette and placing a pecan pie onto a table. Like, whoa, you showed them. I was made for this soothing a pecan pie.
Oh my kaito way that bitch!
How you like me now? We have a delightful ham and a turkey for your choices.
We're at friends giving in the office and a big long ass table throughout the whole office and
the twins are there and they're like, wow, this is crazy.
This is huge.
Look at all these people, friends and family.
Well, yeah, this night is the confluence of all my favorite things, family, my closest
friends, the food is epic, there's TVs in the floor that take 10 minutes to come up.
It's my favorite meal of the year, my favorite night of the year, and I got to
condo sound to all the women all at once.
The Marion Romain, everybody basically starts arriving, and as each person comes in,
every person just gets,
Oh my God, pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty, oh my God, it's so pretty, this is pretty,
this is really pretty, it's pretty. Oh my god, it's so pretty. This is pretty. This is really pretty. Oh, it's pretty. And then there's like a shot of
Romain just standing by a giant bell because we don't know what the bell is there for it
But just see he's standing by a giant bell and he's just chewing on food. I mean here Heather go
Are you eating already? And he goes no
And then of course Christine comes in like some gold sequin dress with a first
all her shoulder and had their own a piece of syrup about the front of her
dress.
And Divina goes,
JT in the house, which I didn't understand what that meant.
Was that Justin Jim Blake was there?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But we do see right down anything for Divina.
So that's where we stand.
We see we do meet Deborah, which is Jason and Brett's mom,
who is not what I was expecting.
But then we also meet their dad, Bennett,
who was exactly who I was expecting.
So Jason's like, hey, Chrishell, see that bell over there?
You with the inspiration for that bell.
One hit for each million.
We actually invited Peter Statera in here to sing a song dedicated to that bell and to you because Chris show
So
You know what's the sign that you're in a perfect marriage? You get to bring a big bell.
Right in front of Peter Satara.
So Heather goes, oh my God, oh my God, Jason,
that's giant.
And he goes, if I had a nickel, they're like,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
And then you, everybody starts to eat
and then you hear Heather go,
I should have brought a vegan pot pie.
Hahaha.
By the way, just a note to the production company.
If you want to do a TV show about food, I fully support it because I was like drooling
at all this food.
They shot it so beautifully.
I was like, oh my god, I need all this food in my stomach right now. They're just keeps looking at everything. What is this? I don't
know if I can have any of this. What is that a vegetable? Is that art? Is that art? I'm just
gonna have veggies, I guess. I don't know. I was just gonna have water, but I guess I'll have a veggie.
It's a butter on there. It's a butter.
That's the exit I'm having.
Oh, look at this hanging hot.
No, that's the bell. It's like a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, good. No, it's not. It's awful, my stupid bitch.
I thought you were leaving this place.
I just also want to point out that everyone at that table looked like I feel like people
I would see at Cabo Cantina in the mid-Auts, right?
Like Cabo Cantina, which was a bar on the sunset strip.
I feel like anyone who I ever saw on the sunset strip from the years 2003 to 2006 or
seven, we're now sitting at that table. They're just missing the baseball caps
with like the folded rim, you know, like the, yeah, the, the, what was that, uh,
band,
what was that?
I'm using van housing. No, not
view,
I'm not very using the band.
That took LA by storm. Oh, yeah,
we're the bond Dutch bond Dutch bond Dutch. Oh, yeah. The worst thing.
Bond Dutch.
Bond Dutch.
Yeah, it was like, oh my god.
And it's like, I guess maybe a better comparison is,
because imagine all the people who are on the hills.
Here they all are again.
The ones who are on the sidelines of the hills.
Here they are again, now sitting at the stable.
Yeah, it's like landing from fucking
southern charm.
Ah, I'm hearing the bell. Hi.
Hi.
So they start talking about their plans for the holiday
and Heather's like, oh, I'm going out of town with Tarak.
We're going with family.
I'm Amsterdam and Paris, so.
Mm, yeah. Christine's like, are you expecting anything special to happen in Paris?
I don't know, but I do hear that they have an entire lunch buffet that goes right through the middle of the city.
Are you talking about the river sand? Yes!
It's always risky to take girls to Paris. Girls are always expecting something in Paris.
Girls are so stupid, am I right high five bro high five
You know girls just I was waiting for men to make their life complete. Oh fucking Paris
So how they're goes well, I don't want to go with any expectations
I'm like girl you have already you've already sent people commemorative photos of your engagement in Paris and it hasn't even happened yet.
Yeah, you just said you're going on a family vacation with your boyfriend.
Yeah, and she's like, yeah, I mean, I can't wait to marry him, but I can wait.
I'm a little bit.
Which is such a Heather sentence.
Yeah, Christine's like, I have a feeling about that.
I have a feeling.
She's like, well, we are having a meeting with a school tonight,
we did round rings.
Yeah, we met with a jeweler and, you know, also, um, uh, we're going to an art gallery,
which is going to be very exciting because I just went to my first one today.
So I'm really growing as a person.
And Chris Chalcus send a group text.
If it happens, and my goes, yeah, don't let us find out on Instagram. I'm
kidding, kind of Christine. I'm killing. Hey guys, now that
we're two hours into this meal, where's a man's a? And my
goes, so a man's a has she been helping with the
project at all? And Heather's like, it's hard because she's
like supposed to be staging and she couldn't go show up.
So I had to go pick up art.
Like she was dealing with like personal stuff and Christine goes, aren't we all though?
Yeah, Christine.
You spending millions of somebody else's dollars on a crazy town wedding.
It's the same as fighting for your two fucking children.
I come on now.
And then my eye goes, I call her a messy Nancy.
I'm like, that doesn't even rhyme or illiterate.
I call her messy Nancy.
It's always something late, seek.
She forgot her phone in Uber.
She break her open house.
She has child custody.
It's always an event messy Nancy.
And Mary is like, you know, I'm like really close with the man's uh, I think it's important for a man's uh to be spending this
Friendsgiving with the family
This is not actually Thanksgiving. You know
And then we just hear a bone oh someone, someone, Mary just fell into the belly again.
Mary, are you okay?
Are you okay?
You really rang that bell.
Why do we have, why do we put bell between Mary and buffet?
Why?
So now it's time for the Oppenham to us.
So Brett's like, this is my favorite evening of the year.
All my friends and family.
This is so much to be thankful of.
Even the dumb girls over here.
Oh, dumb girls expecting marriage all the time.
I love all of you, including the dumb girls and the bell.
So let's toast to how functional we all are.
And nothing can upstage this moment right now that I'm having right now.
Just wanted to say, boys, roll girls,
drill cheers.
And then Jason stands up and says,
oh, and one more thing I'm thankful for.
I just close on the $44 million house.
Ah,
ding, ding, ding,
ding,
ding, ding,
ding,
ding,
ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding,
ding, ding,
ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding,
ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, Wish it was me, but you know it would be nice commission for me, but you know what Jason worked hard and he deserves it
So I'm not gonna hate I'm going to congratulate now. I can rhyme look at that
I'm not gonna rhyme
All right, Michelle go ring that bell married and someone get a bandage from marriage
She's just still just move her out of the way so you can get to that bell all right great
She's just still just move around the way as he gets that bell. All right great
And my it's like who's the buyer and he's like send an NDA. Sorry remember when I told you
Camp talk cuz I have a showing the next morning. It was that one
Yeah, Divina remember when you were just like begging for like three more days on your ridiculous thing And I was like I wish I could help you but I have a showing tomorrow
It was for the
Listening that I just sold that you did it. That's all divina. Sorry, Saka
So divina's like Jason can I talk to you? I just wanted to say congratulations I'm like, hey sorry. I gave you a hard time the other day. This is such exciting news
I'm just gonna sit here and shake my head at you awkwardly and kind of face my nose down
until you ask me what's wrong.
You know, I just, I know how hard it was
because I was trying to sell my expensive listing
that you canceled.
Remember the thing that was gonna lead to my future
that you canceled and ruined my relationship
with the terrorists. Remember that? And then,
you don't have to apologize. Sometimes I feel like I'm too tough on you too. But that's only because
I believe in you. I believe in you so much, Divina. I'm making harder for you. You have more
potential than everyone. If I'm not hard on you, that's when you should, like, wow.
So basically the same exact speech that Christine said that you gave her.
So you're just walking around giving this speech to everybody that you're addicted to.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, I just don't want you wasting your time.
That's why I don't want you with Adnan's house, you know, you should be spending
your time in more valuable things, like going to mandatory friends' givings and shooting a reality show, you know.
All right, dessert. Let's get dessert. And yeah, he did many announces. Mary, by the way, Mary,
you did a great job on Dohenny. I'm bringing you in on Alpine.
Is it an actual Alpine skiing slope? Because I have a little bit of trouble going downhill.
Jason, please tell me it's not that.
And Maya is so pissed.
And she's like, are you kidding me?
I get it, but share a little bit.
We all work hard at times.
It's a little unfair.
Yeah.
And like, you know, I understand that Mary Closet is more
and more and more and more, but it's because she has more buyers, okay?
Like give us something, give me, like literally give me a role.
I'm starving over here.
Pregnant lady, hello.
Yeah.
And she says, you know, one thing about Maya, she'll say it to your face.
You know, she's like, in this business, you have to hustle,
but it's hurting to see someone gets more than us.
You know, of course, they're close.
And I'm glad to hear Mary see this too, even though I don't think she's totally right.
But she's like, you know, Jason and I have been friends for like 15 years.
And we dated like maybe a year of that.
So these girls like trying to take away my hard work because we dated like no.
I'm out of my ass.
It's like it's reading disrespectful to take all my accomplishments and then just brush it
off. Like she's probably just sleeping with him
It's like um, no she was sleeping with that totally different
Yeah, I was only sleeping for for one year and before that
Cashly hooking up do you know how hard that was those are accomplishments for me and like no one's celebrating
Okay, I just want everyone to know that my favoritism does not come from just sleeping with them. It comes from
Hanging out with him for 15 years too, okay? Yeah, and my it's like what the wealth of rest we all work and the Venus like well
When are we all gonna be good enough like what are we gonna be good enough?
I'm in Christine just looks at them quietly like she's immediately gonna go to the tail on everybody
Yeah, she is the girls are mad at you
Hey Jason yeah, they're mad how there was telling me about it over her lunch of water. They are pests
Yeah, and that brings us to the end of selling soon suit
What a fun time tomorrow. We're back with the
Part one of the Beverly Hills reunion which looks like an absolute shit show. And if any of the things that have been happening
on social media with those women over the past few weeks is any indication, we should
have a lot to discuss. So we'll be doing that with some crap and some demand. And then
later in the week, we have the season finale of Real Housewives of New York, also on crap
and some demand. So stay tuned for that and go to patreon.com slash watcher Krapans
to sign up if you are not signed up for that already.
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