Watch What Crappens - SellingSunset: Just Mary'd
Episode Date: July 29, 2020Selling Sunset season two reaches the climax we've all been not really waiting for: Mary's wedding!! It's the perfect occasion to bring the entire cast together — well, minus Davina — ...and put aside their differences. Except, of course, that doesn't really happen because a few nights prior, Amanza threw a second bachelorette party and conveniently didn't invite half the office. Maya was really upset guyzz. We're breaking down the whole season finale here. Come join! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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I'm Ben Mandelker from the Real House where as a kitchen island a cartoon on YouTube and also the game brain podcasts for all
You board gamers out there joining me is the hilarious and wonderful my work husband
Ronnie Karam from the Rose Prick's bachelor Rose podcast. What's up, Ronnie?
Well, hello. how are you doing?
I'm just fabulous, I'm just, I'm so excited to,
that we get to talk about selling sunset
their big season two season finale.
Wow, so much happened, it was crazy.
It was a nut so in the butt so.
Yeah, did you hear the news that Heather and Taric are engaged now oh
My god, we're totally engaged which makes sense since I'm best friends with his daughter who's practically my own
Yeah, it's like crazy. I said to I was like talking to my best friend his daughter and being like oh my god
You're dad and I are totally gonna be engaged which is funny cuz I'm already your mom
I
Know you know I've read so many books like this. It's like the scary book where you're married to a guy
And then he takes you after the creepy the creepy castle or whatever and he's like look
Here's our new castle. You're like oh my god. I'm married a guy who has a castle
This is fucking amazing and then you go into the castle and then you see all the paintings on the wall
Or a woman who looks exactly like you and you realize that he's been married to you before and he killed you
Or was it the children?
No, it was him. It's always the man. And guess what you are married
He's marrying you because you look exactly like his ex.
It's creepy. Stop. Just stop this. Yeah. Next season is going to open up with Heather being like,
you guys, I'm really into subway tile now. I just love doing backsplash. She's going to be rolling
your eyes at everything like Christina. I was watching HGTV as I'm want to do. I'm newly obsessed with hometown. Oh God. I'm so excited.
I run out of HGTV shows to watch and they show the commercial. Christina on the coast.
And it's like she's coming back. She's so fun. She's coming back.
My Christina is the most personality free person on this planet. How are you trying to make it look like this is this big fun-loving show?
I know and no matter what Heather does she will never be able to say Torek the way Christina does.
Torek. Torek. Torek. Torek. Torek. Torek. Let's have a competition. Okay, we're both gonna do a back splash and then we're gonna see
which one our contractor likes the most. Okay, Torek, start.
gonna see which one our contractor likes the most. Okay, Torrick, start. Oh, God, HGTV. We really do need to start talking about some HGTV home shows because I've been watching
a bunch of new ones. There's one with a couple who is redoing a, well, so whole family
really, but it's just a couple of mostly who are redoing a whole resort in the Caribbean,
I think. Have you seen the commercials for it? No, I haven't.
You want to talk about painful.
These two hate each other.
Hey, they hate each other.
Oh God, I'm scared.
I'm scared for what HGTV will do to a resort.
Oh my goodness.
Oh, we have to check out that channel.
But in the meantime, we're checking out meat flicks.
Roy. That. Roy.
That's wrong. We're on Netflix. So it's the season finale of selling sunset. Oh, by the way, if you need a mask and you should be wearing a
mask, go to crapensmerch.com to get your masks with all sorts of Bravo themed
and crap and steam stuff on it. Okay. Good. Go to this. Yeah. This
episode is called Karma's going to get you. Karma's got to get get ya karma is also the new realtor in the
Oppenheim group just so you know hi I'm karma
Okay, so this motorcycle just be my desk great. No, I love it. Oh, what is karma get the set up
front and not us?
You know, I was um by the way, I was just like browsing through Zillow,
cause it's fun to do.
And I saw this house that was so cute.
And it was actually like at a decent price.
And I was like, oh my God, this is such a cute house.
And then I saw the listing agent Jason Oppenheim.
I was like, ah!
I know, isn't that weird that all these people on TV
are really doing this in real life?
Cause I still look at Zillow every night. It's like my vision.
It's like my daily vision board where I'm like, hmm, I wonder which 20 million
mansion, 20 million dollar mansion I'm going to live in, you know.
So I'm always on there. And so many of them. It's like, well, that looks cute.
Josh flag.
Yeah. My friend, my friend literally just bought a house from the British
twins on million dollar listing. Isn't that crazy?
They're real.
They're real.
So uncomfortable to know that these are real people walking around the world.
Okay.
They're like real realtors.
I'm actually like afraid.
Like, if we make fun of these realtors too much, are we, am I ever going to be able to
buy a house in Los Angeles?
We blacklisted.
Of course.
Just like if I hated you and I was waiting on you, I'd still have to wait, you know,
wait the table.
You still get your French fries, damn it. I am just gonna like browse through Zillow. I want to browse
until I like find one of Christine's listings just because I want to see what her like little Zillow
images. I feel like it'll be her on an angle like her long pony like one one side of the square
and then like her like she'll have like her tongue out of her mouth like oh, I know like a little zebra,
you know. Yeah, so be wearing like a little zebra, you know?
Yeah, she'll be wearing like a zebra sports coat, but then just panties.
And she'll be coming out of the pool with high heels, like stiletto high heels.
Yeah, and then a man says, if I find a listing by a man's, it's just like an empty square.
And then under it, it's like, I know, it's like, sorry, I was late to the photo.
Sorry, I'm in the emergency room.
I know, like, it's got bit by a spider.
I got locked out of
the photo by accident. And how this is just trying to open a door. How does this just casino?
Mars is just a little joke. It's like, what does the Zelo say when it's tired?
I want to go to Zed.
Ha ha ha.
Take a picture, it lasts longer.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Okay, so we up and with a beautiful song called
we lay off the night, we lay off the night.
And I kept rewinding it to see, to hear which he was saying,
we lay off the night.
I don't know, that's what I got. Not really sure why the night got fired. That's not nice. But congratulations on
your 24 hours of daytime loss, Angela. I know. nighttime has been officially laid off. Wow.
Coronavirus. Does it not spare anything? We're still waiting for another stimulus night, but until that comes, get your sleeping masks.
So, so we're back at poor Voo for some reason,
because that's where Mary was having her joint
bachelor at party, and we see her like in that cage,
and we're like,
Mary, Mary, Mary, Mary,
and then it's like the next morning.
I'm like, well, why don't we just start the next morning?
Why do we have to like relive Mary
bobbling around in a cage?
Because this is a really intricate show.
How are we supposed to remember what happened last week?
That's shit.
A lot goes on, OK.
So Mary is like lying on a couch.
Let's suppose to eat the next day where she's so hungover,
but totally put together.
And a man's on.
Chris Shell coming to check in on her
to make sure she's okay.
Chris Shell's like,
we brought you some hair of the dog.
Mary's like, oh my God,
what happened last night?
I don't even remember
because I had a crazy bachelor party.
It'll be my only one that I have.
Well, first Justin asked me to marry him,
and it was like a storybook wedding after that,
and then we went on a wonderful vacation.
I'm sorry, that was me.
We got drunk in some bar and danced around
App making the kids.
Oh, they're like, well, option one,
we brought you some booze,
and option two, we brought you some coffee,
and Mary's like, oh my God, I could
not. If my life depended on it, drink any more because I was wild last night. Remember
the birdcage, the movie? Well, I was living the birdcage, the merit. Yeah. So then we go
to Heather and Christine with a plate of just uneaten fries, which is really all we're
going to see on TV this week. It was like last week in a scene we sat through.
Just fries that aren't eaten, okay, torturing me.
So they're lunch and Heather's like, oh my god, I could throw up after a last night, like
in a bush.
Yeah, I'm serious.
I could throw up in a plantar right now.
Don't tell T tell jerk, okay? And Christine's like, yeah, well, I had fun. I
wasn't like, but I mean, I was like drinking out of a penis straw. So, you know, I mean,
I... Yeah, I mean, and Heather was like, yeah, like the room was fun. I had fun in the room,
you know? But like, you know, I just like, there was like so much anxiety, like, you know,
I didn't want to be around a menza and to be that didn't want to be around Mary and you didn't want to be around Mary
And I didn't want to be around a manza, but I wanted to be around Tariq
But Tariq was at home and I wasn't around home. So it was like a lot of anxiety
And you know what? I didn't want to be around Mary and Mary didn't want to be around me. Oh, that's a be honest
And Christine is wearing a pink like jumper, like a
very bright pink jumper and a very bright pink balancing yoga hat and bright pink matching
lips. I mean, this girl just get up at four in the morning. I know it is, it is insane.
By the way, did you, I think someone told us on social media that in the wake of
a creshell and Justin's divorce that the house that they vacated is Duret and PK's new house?
Did you hear that? Yes, it's Duret's. It's mid dream, huh?
Dream on it in there.
Dream. Real ass lies above the hills.
Yep. To read probably orchestrated their divorce so she could take over their house.
She's like, total.
Justin, did you hear about the new book called Beppo?
Hey, Krashelle, where's your husband?
I hear he's cheating with someone at Book of Beppo.
It's all working.
She comes back and says locked out.
Yeah.
So then back with Amanda and Mary and Creshell, Amanda's like, so what I miss today,
when get by a poisonous spider because that was my
night kids and my right.
It's hard.
And Mary's apartment, Mary's apartment,
she has one of those huge home goods clocks.
But I hate huge.
And then instead of a gather sign, she has a huge home goods clock. But we know you hate. Huge. And then instead of a gather sign,
she has a spray painted painting that says love
and spray paint.
She's like rocker gatherer, Mary.
Yeah.
But by the way, the only reason why she has that oversized clock
is that it's actually like a stabilization device.
She actually holds onto the hands as she crosses the room.
Sort of like dock and back to the future.
She's like, okay, just have to get to the living room.
Just hold on to this.
Okay, and we made it.
Well, so much fun, you guys.
And Chris says, well, there was a little bit of drama,
just a little bit.
Check what?
Drama?
I don't even remember.
Yeah.
Well, Chris says, yeah, well, remember when you and Heather
were catching up about Christine at that $40 million house
And Mary's like, I do
Oh my god
I do
And I was saying there was an overlap or something, something about overlap
Yeah, well she's super stuck on you using this certain word
Put it overlap cause
I might have said burlap.
Do you remember if I said overlap or burlap?
Mm.
And Chris says like, I was like, what word is it?
And she said overlap.
So that's the word that she's having a problem overlap.
Yeah, the mic back.
Yeah. And then Christina's like, we go back to Christina.
And she's like, yeah, apparently there was a comment
about overlap. And I was like, those bitches are talking about my relationship. I mean,
overlap. Have you ever heard such a cruel word overlap?
Hmm. I'm back to Criselle. She's like, I was sitting next to them and I could hear them.
So I was like, let's squash this. Will you marry me? I do very book wedding.
That's what happened.
And then back with Christine, she's like,
Chris Shalchheimden, and was like,
um, what are you talking about?
And I said, you know relationships.
And she was like, oh shit, you could just tell.
And Heather, of course, rings it around to her.
She's like, oh my god, like, people talking bad about,
like, people are like obsessed with relationships, like people talking bad about like people are like obsessive relationships
They're talking bad about my relationship and your relationship and my relationship with Tariq and my relationship. It's just out of control
So back with the other girls, Khrushcheol's like and I was like, oh, I guess I heard he might have been with somebody when you first met
I don't know where I heard that from.
This is your line, Mary.
Please take the blame because it's getting really heavy on me.
And Mary's like, oh, well, he was.
I mean, he was with somebody else.
I mean, that's how she got the listings.
So I remember that's how she got him as a client.
So overlap.
Am I right?
And so then Christine's like I mean that is such a strong
fucking accusation you better have proofs in the pudding if you're gonna make an
accusation like that or at least have some pudding because I have not eaten in
three weeks okay bitch wants some pudding I mean if there was proof in the pudding
I would know about it because I'm not touching fucking pudding, but still.
I have a question. If I put my spoon in pudding, does that count as a spoon overlapping the pudding?
Because, no, I'm not touching it.
How are you going to make an accusation like that? And Heather's like, a cheating accusation
exactly. Well, thanks for now saying it's cheating, because before it was just like an overlap, I feel like Mary phrased it in a much nicer way.
And Mary-
Yes.
And Mary-
Yes.
And Mary was better than cheating, either.
Yeah, Mary was much more diplomatic about it.
Yeah.
So then we go back and we see a man's essaying,
oh my God, like, can we just like reenact the batch red party
because I had to like, obviously leave,
because my kid got bitten by a spider.
And now he's like, I don't know, saving crime or whatever. I don't know. Can we just like
get to like enough on this time? I welcome up this morning and he was like on the roof.
I mean he was honestly like it was crazy. So can we just have like a private three person
party just for us? And then they laugh and then we see like the selling sunset and I just thought like okay, that's a funny joke
Not realizing it was setting up so much drums the next ten seasons of drama. Yeah
So now we are at Heather's listing a nickels cannon in the middle of nowhere
I mean they might as well be in the middle of I don't know Lithuania. They're just in the middle of nowhere
as well be in the middle of, I don't know Lithuania, they're just in the middle of nowhere. And for Heather and that fucking door, it's hilarious.
That's right.
You can't get that door open.
It's just like usually every home has a broker's open and that's the first time brokers
in agents can see the house and we hope a broker can see it and have a client because
that would be ideal, right?
Thank you for explaining the fundamentals of selling things.
It's like the end of season two.
We get it.
Yeah, we forget.
We forget how the brokers opens work.
So she gives us her professional monologue and then it cuts to her tripping
and she's like, Oh, fuck, I can't walk in heels.
First doors now heels.
So Divina and Christine show up Devina is like
She's like it's the season finale. I'm gonna dress like I'm going the Broadway
She's like oh well, I mean is priced well and Christine's like yeah, well, it should be it's in the middle of nowhere fox
They all I wonder if it has a view and I wonder if you can see Los
Phyllis from here.
God, remember that crazy place?
Ding dong!
And Heather's like trying to put together a cheese plate.
She's like, I do not want to drop this cheese.
And then the music stops.
Exactly, she's in such a way.
Yeah, the music stops while Heather tries to open the door.
Just like...
I don't know what's worse.
Carrying a small cutting board or opening the door.
This is so hard.
So they...
Hi, hi!
Hi!
Oh my god, this is so cute!
This is like it.
Christine goes,
This is so fun!
It's like an open space concept.
I mean, I don't see what's so fun about this place
So doing this like are you expecting people to come out here for this?
I'm just like yeah Jason's coming Brett's coming. I mean, I don't know if Mary's coming
I mean, I think she intends to come but you know how hills are so difficult for her
Yeah, like well, did you invite her? I mean, you guys know that Mary had another
Bachelor at party, right? Ah, Heather said. Yeah, that kind of hurt my feelings a little bit.
Like, if I hadn't been busy with Taric, my soon to be husband, I would have been really offended.
And then Christine, the detective, tells us,
And then Christine the detective tells us. I'm starting to think the bachelor rat party I was at wasn't the real bachelor rat party.
Maybe the real bachelor rat party is the one we weren't invited to.
Do you mean the one that wasn't filmed?
Yeah, probably.
With her real friends and family.
Yeah. So she's like,
Chris Shell went, okay, and they were on a stripper appall. Yeah. I mean, Nicole even posted it on
her Instagram. I be best bachelor party ever. I mean, yeah. I mean, like Brett and Kelsey were there
and like, um, oh, sorry. I was just reading that Brent and Kelsey a lot. I mean like Brett and Kelsey were there and like, oh, sorry.
I was just reading that Brett and Kelsey a lot.
I'm like, Brian Kelsey, we're at the best rep.
Yeah, they do arrive while Christine is like squatting down
on the floor going,
QC out.
Well, you know about the QC being out Heather.
She's like, oh my God, Christina.
And then Kelsey and Brett come over come in and Kelsey,
I guess is maybe a new brunette. I don't know if they featured her
We saw her earlier the season she sold her house to someone we met her briefly and then Brett's like, yeah
I just got back from Vegas for romance bachelor party
I'm like so obviously remain had another bachelor party. So clearly this is Mary's other party, right?
Yeah, that Mary's never gonna cop too. Yeah
so then Jason and Chrishell show up and
And Heather is like showing them things like yeah check it out like there's a house like look
This is there's a door here. Oh, it's a Jack and Jill bathroom. It's really cool
I like to call it a Heather and Tarak bathroom, you know and Christians like, who's a Jack and who's a Jill? She's like,
you can be Jill if you want. She goes, oh my God, I thought we were going to switch roles.
Love that Jack and Jill bathroom humor.
So then, Kristi, Kristell comes in with Jason and she finds cards in the drawer,
realtor cards. And she's like, oh my god, realtor cards. And he's like, oh,
Agent Cards love it. Love it. They don't even have names on it. Uh, yes, they do. Look his name must have been coldwell
Banker. Hey, oh
And then Chris fell.
Chris sells just laughing like way too.
I'm not sad on the inside at all.
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So Christine then pops a cork on like a champagne bottle and Heather's like,
Oh my gosh, you scared me!
You scared me so much!
So other agents start arriving and Heather's like,
I'm the listing agent, here's a paper lady,
she wants some champagne! And Div there's like, I'm the listing agent. Here's a paper, ladies. You want some champagne?
And Divina's like, uh, starving too, right?
I mean, I only went who's starving.
I'm eating some cheese because I'm starving right now.
Look, the one without the boob and plant
is eating food right now on camera.
Oh my God.
Glad you not coming to the wedding.
So Rep pulls Divina aside.
He's like, divina two seconds
Please give me good news on the 75 million dollar house. Come on. Give me good news. I'm just like, uh, well
Here's an update. I had a showing of it
So did that one showing out to four weeks. I mean you've had one showing okay?
I had this probably had five showings in this totally different this thing. That's much more accessible. It's ridiculous
Yeah, but it's like hard to get people to qualify at that price point They had this probably had five showings in this totally different listing that's much more accessible. It's ridiculous.
Yeah, but it's like hard to get people to qualify at that price point.
You know, what am I going to do?
Like, be negative about it?
Like, am I supposed to be negative?
Because that's a terrible idea.
A terrible idea was taking this listing at $75 million when, you know, it should have been my listing.
And that would have been a good idea, okay?
Yeah, but we could like solid it the last minute.
He never know.
Uh, you know, this is a big mistake, a big big big mistake.
I don't like how it's that out to you big.
It makes me feel really smaller.
He's like, should I shame him for his size?
I've already come to a small joke.
I mean, we're here.
We're queer.
Get used to it.
So Divina is like, uh, Jason's being unreasonably hard on me.
After I introduced mechidami not to the office.
Okay.
I mean, like, he's had hillside for a year in no action.
So I was like, good point, Divina.
Yeah, that $40 million thing's been sitting there on that mountain for literally two full seasons.
Okay, I don't talk to Divina about her $75 million thing in only been four weeks.
Yeah, so then champagne for Brett and he's like, who taught you how to pour?
God, girls.
So stupid.
So who's he telling that he has a client for under two million? I forget who he's telling probably Heather probably Heather
Yeah, that's the real thing real to it. So then Mary teeter's in she's like
You know makes it through that crazy door and she's talking like this. She's like hey girls
And of course the girls like are you sick? What happened to your voice Mary? You're happy to speak Mary me everyone listen to Mary's voice sounds terrible guys. Oh my god Mary
Like well, I mean, you know after that thing the other night. I was like raspy, but like I woke up and I couldn't speak
Oh too much partying girl too much
Too much I mean everything I was too much everything that's what it was like other things, those other things.
Too much bachelor rap party, how about that?
I'll just get right to it.
I heard you had a bachelor rap party without us.
Christine just cuts right to the chase.
Yeah, and Chris Sheldt's like,
um, it was more than just having people at her house.
It was, it wasn't like a huge party.
It was just people at her house, that's all.
Did you hear Mary trying to explain herself
and she literally can't even form words between
like her bobbling and her like hangover nests. She's like, she literally makes that noise.
She goes, yeah.
Her battery's dying. Could we get a charge on her?
Well, man, Zinn, I were gonna hang out because she had the kids, uh, anyway, so...
Well, but some people weren't in fight ad.
It's like, you know what? Congrats on your listing. I'm gonna take a chore!
Oh!
Guys, I'm just like...
Yeah, she just like...
She just like... It's almost like... You know what? She was like...
Imagine like a... chair on a cruise ship in the dining room.
And then the cruise ship starts to list a little bit.
And the high chair is not secure.
And just goes corining to the other side of the dining room.
Yeah, totally.
She's totally a shopping cart rolling down a street.
A gentle incline.
Just like, with one wonky wheel, you're like, oh no, oh no.
Who could she minute through the door? shopping cart rolling down a street. A gentle incline. Just like with one wonky wheel.
You're like, oh no, oh no.
Who could she minute through the door?
And I love that Chris Sheldt's like, it wasn't a party.
We were just hanging out because her kids were at home.
So a man's it got a stripper pole.
And we did it.
Totally wholesome night with the kids, guys.
And Christine, who had at the top of the show
Talked about the original batch of batch of party is saying like well
Clearly I didn't want to be around Mary. I'm Mary didn't want to be around me now. She's like well you guys could have texted us You got a text at us. Oh, so I didn't get a text from Mary
I don't think I'd text from amanta saying there were people hanging out at spider-kid's house
And it's not a bachelor at party
Don't tell anybody brings a penis straws
So Mary like bobbles her way outside where Jason is with a bunch of realtors. We're not on the show
There's like like professional realtors and Mary goes outside and she's like well guess what they all try to start
Fight with me, and I'm not gonna take it anymore. You know what I was mean, tough for me, Jason.
He's like, you don't have to, honey. Come here, come here, honey. You don't have to.
He's like, oh, really?
They just started to fight with me, is that?
So they're trying to like calm her down and inside Christine's like, my feelings are really hurt, guys.
Really hurt. Like, she like called me and was like, really sad, you know? I don't know why she's, oh yeah, she's my she like called me and was like really sad you know I
don't know why she's oh yeah she's Maya called me it was really sad Maya was so
sad yeah Chris feels like um all I know is I got a text saying and Divina just goes
right right yeah she like it but it was a very coordinated event it wasn't like
whoa let's have Salami and some glasses of bear foot and
call it a night. It was like coordinated. That was a co-ordinated event. And Mary's outside,
just bitching. She's like, yeah, would any of them come to my broker's open because I actually
have listings and clients. Yeah. Honey, stop honey. Come here honey. No, I'm not gonna stop. He's already bullshit. It's pretty bullshit
Come on take a breath
He like holds her really tight. He's like come on honey take a breath and then inside the girls are watching them
The girls are watching them for the kitchen and Christine's like oh my god
What are they about to make out right now? Look at them. Jesus, get a room. I cannot with that.
And she just throws her purse across the room.
And there's like, can we not do this
at my broker's open guys?
I think Tark might be showing up.
I just can't have this happening in front of him, okay?
Hmm.
Mary's crying at my broker's open.
And Jason is consoling her with this like 10 minute hug.
I don't know what it's going on right now. I
cannot have other ages, cudd-rying at my brokers open. I took all this time to
carry that cheese board from one counter to another and then she's just gonna
have a scene after all my hard work. I cannot. Yeah I'm where he's like um I'm not
gonna fight. Like I'm happy to leave. I didn't start it
Like I came here taking time out of my actual schedule
She's doing that thing where she emphasizes every other word but with both like her tone and her head
She's like my actual
schedule to do this so I can leave if you want
Jason's like come on other agents are coming come on come on
Yeah, there come on Heather come on and then another bald guy comes in and it's now it's just confusing now
It's just convention okay, yeah, and
At maris I can't fight about anything else. I can't and Christine's like
Poor Heather. How embarrassing. There's real estate agents here. Mary's making a scene. How embarrassing?
I'm like, you're the one who started the fight, Christine.
So then Mary and Krishelle are talking outside and
Mary is like, you know, I want to be like, I mean, there's like hostility towards something I didn't plan like I feel like
Every single one of my friends is like, I mean, come on and Krishelle's like hostility towards something I didn't plan. Like I feel like every single one of my friends is like,
I mean, come on.
And Chris feels like,
Well, she said Maya got her feelings hurt,
but Maya was in Miami.
So,
boom, boom.
And Mary is like, I mean,
and how many times has she had a get together
and not invited me?
Okay, like, oh my god, guess what?
I had dinner last night,
and I forgot to tell her, oh my god, oh my god, oh my okay like oh my god guess what I had dinner last night I forgot
to tell her oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god
Christine's mock laughing inside
it's Christine's just always I mean uh
Christel's just always cracking up yeah
too long
but then Christine is also like doing this weird laughter on the inside and Heather's like Christine
Christine. Oh my god Christine Christine
So then Jason leaves and he's like, yeah, I had a congrats on a really good showing
I mean the way you got that cheese over to that counter. That was really amazing. Okay, and don't forget to look at that offer
I left you she's like I'm 2.1
1.9
She's like um 2.1, 1.9.
Oh, that Jason, he's just so hilarious. Hmm, so then Christina Mary decided to have a talk outside
to sort of time to clear the air.
Um, I just wanted to clear the air
because last time we spoke individually,
it was this blow up thing
and I know your wedding was coming up so...
Like we used to be so close.
Like from ever in season one when we walked down the street together and I said how you
were like Goth and I'm not like Goth, we were so close.
Yeah, and then I found out you were talking about my relationship to Chris Schell.
Well, I just said what you told me.
So, and since you didn't tell me a lot
because apparently you moved on in your life without me,
I had very little to go off of.
So I just chose a random word and just said,
overlap a lot and apparently that's a problem.
Yeah, and she's like, it's just about
how fast your relationship started
and it was based on what you told me.
And Christine's like, if you were my friend,
there shouldn't be questions.
There weren't questions. You told her that you were dating some, that you started my friend, there shouldn't be questions. There weren't questions.
You told her that you were dating something.
You started dating some dude that was together with somebody, I guess.
Because Mary just said it was based on what you told me.
Yeah, well, because Mary was like, I wasn't saying like gossiping.
I was just being like, oh, I don't know.
I just heard that this is what it is.
And Christine was like, um, it didn't sound like a conversation that was like, I don't
know.
It sounded like it was a solid point of view, which cracked me up because it totally, to
me, reminded me of the season finale of season one when the, when the discussion was this
was not, this was not, these were not neutral questions.
This was not coming from a neutral place.
I just love the, like, assessment of the conversation tone.
Yeah.
And then Mary answers in such, uh, such a reality show kind of way where she refuses to take
any responsibility.
She's like, but it wasn't me with the questions, okay?
They were asking me.
Yeah, but the problem isn't the questions.
It's like he told them that she was fucking some Mary dude.
Yeah, and Christine's like, well, if we were friends, why wasn't I invited to the Bachelorette party?
You just had a mom's house.
So like that wasn't a Bachelorette party.
It was a get together.
And like a mom says, my sister was in town.
So like, oh, ah, always was supposed to not have a see my sister.
Like, it was my sister.
What, like I can't send out an e-vite
to like most of my close friends
and be like, it's a Bachelorette party
and like, that's all of a sudden now,
like a Quattro Roque Bachelorette party.
Like, come on.
It's like to be honest with you.
My up is really, really hurt.
Ha ha ha ha.
My up is, this, that's why I'm mad because my up is hurt.
For defenseless, my up. For Maya in a different state on a different coast
Oh
I'm here. It's like she was at my bachelor at party. What I mean come on
I wanted to hang out with my sister Jesus and why is my upset she's pregnant anyway she can't do shit
So cruel and Christine's like well, it was a coordinated thing like there was a pool. Okay, there was a pool a pool a pool. So I don't know
Where I was a pool. No, I was saying pull it was a pool. It was a pool. It was a pool. It was a pool. So I'm here. It's like I'm a man said did that the day of and she was okay
Well, then if she could get a pool on the day out then she could text people the day Ah, ah
You know what I mean listen it was a man's it was excited her son had developed special powers and was you know
Like wrapping things from across the house with like some weird sticky web thing and she wanted us all to see that's it
That's it. Hmm. She's like well if you don't invite, you shouldn't put it on Instagram. I'm like, I didn't put it on Instagram.
Oh my god.
She's like, I'm not going to marry a ghost.
I'm not going to play these childish games.
I'm glad you came to my basketball party.
If I have dinner, I'm sorry.
I invited to me and remains dinner.
Yeah, boo, yeah, gotcha with you little dinner joke.
So that is not what this is about.
So you were upset.
You weren't invited to a small and prompt you. Get the gun. It didn't that is not what this is about. It's like you were upset. You weren't
invited to a small and prompt you get to get it right. It's like it didn't look small and
prompt you. That's what I'm saying. It was co-ordinated. That co-ordinated event.
Mirrors like but you weren't there. You wouldn't know. I know like see it sounds like a dish.
She's like how would you know you weren't there? It's like that's a problem, Mary. I know that's the best part
It's like it's no big deal. It doesn't matter that you weren't there, but if you were there, you would know what you were fighting about
Yeah, and
She goes I mean this stuff you say literally doesn't make any sense and
Crystal tells us I think it's really interesting for
And Kraschel tells us, I think it's really interesting for Christine to make a big scene because this is an inappropriate place to do that.
But when is Christine appropriate?
I don't know.
Shrug.
Shrug.
So, Mary's like, well, I'm gonna lose my voice even more.
So, I'm gonna go.
And Kraschel is like, you know, sometimes you have things and you don't invite everybody over to them.
Okay. It's kind of like with, like, me and Justin, like, we didn't invite other people into our
marriage. We just have a wonderful, solid marriage. And we don't have to invite other people to it.
And people should understand that.
Christine's like, but you were there. And then Christine tells us tells us I mean that bits lives in the valley.
It took her 45 minutes to get there. Okay. She planned it. She had to waste herself there.
So it's kind of true. It's a very strong point. So Christine's like, you know what Mary,
it's just like she can't have a conversation. She just talks and talks and circles. I'm sorry.
I meant she actually just walks and circles. It's very difficult to talk to her like that
Well, she doesn't might confrontation and one of her wheels is broken Christine
It's not a confrontation. It's about being a fucking adult and expressing your feelings when someone is a rationally
Accusing you of something and now they're like well, I try to look at everybody's point of view.
It's like stopping a little bitch right now, Heather. Stop it. You're being a little bitch.
And then Davina's, yeah, Davina and Chris are both like, yeah, you're being deflective.
You're being really deflective right now, you know, or Mary's being deflective.
Well, Chris, I was like, um, listen guys,
I don't think that anyone's a bad person here,
so let's just step back a second,
like anyone's saying Mary's a horrible person.
And to be this like, oh, she's like a very defensive.
Yeah, she's defensive, deflective, defensive,
a coordinated, and when you don't talk straight,
it makes you look like a fucking idiot. Ah, well,'s not a fucking idiot okay. I didn't say she was
an idiot I said it makes you look like a fucking idiot. But we know that she's not
an idiot okay. But it makes you look like. But she's not an idiot okay. But it makes you
look like. But she's not an idiot okay. But it makes you look like, but she's not an idiot. Okay. Why is this still sending outside its might?
So now we it's like now like the next day and it's Mary's final dress fitting and she's going to
Floor floor whatever it's called with a man's up. Yeah, she's with a man's up
And so Mary's getting like the final adjustments and a man's is just sitting by
herself in this showroom and just looking at herself in the mirror and like posing giving full-on
Countless the Wands vibes. She's like I feel like I should be in a Michael Jackson video.
Oh, she starts doing the zombie dance. I'm looking at the filter in the mirror. Oh, yeah, I'm looking how to oh shit. I'm late for the rest of this music video. Sorry
Bad I bad you up my sense of the emergency room got to go
I just can't stop selling real estate. Oh wait, I actually have to stop selling real estate because I got to go back to the alley
It doesn't matter if you're realtor or realtor.
Do you remember the time when I had a small little get together?
Of course you don't because you weren't there.
So Mary for the dressing room was like,
I'm answer Christine texted me and she wants to.
Oh, sorry about that.
She wants to talk.
She wants to talk.
She's like, so she's coming to your dress fitting to talk.
Oh.
I just don't want any drama. This whole thing is so stupid. I don't want any drama.
I'm like, you're on a reality show, Mary. I mean...
So, Mary is in her dress now. No one's crying because like how many times do we have to do this?
Yeah, exactly. And it's still not, it's still not him or whatever stitched up properly because they're still
clamping the back.
Yeah.
Get it together, lady, and be the rose.
Yeah.
So yeah, Christine comes over and her whole thing is that she just, she just wants to make
things better before the wedding and um, a man's, a man's, I mean, while it's not a proving
of this, she's like not approving of this.
She's like, it sounds stupid.
It was just pure strip of poll fun
with some of your best friends celebrating your upcoming wedding
and you're one of your last nights at being single.
That's not a batch of rep party.
It's not a batch of rep party.
Yeah.
So Mary sends her manza out there
and Christine's in red with flowers.
She's like, hey, Amanda.
Manza's like, oh, did he bring me flowers?
Are those real flowers or clown flowers
that you're gonna squirt water out of it?
Mary, poor Mary.
And Christina's like, why would you say that?
Best movie ever, Kevin Costner, Whitney Houston,
at Bodyguard.
I'm getting those vibes here.
A man's a wimp that Mary have a conversation without her budding in.
She doesn't have to be worried. I have flowers in the hand.
I'm not going to punch her. This is a coordinated event.
Sorry, it turns out my flowers do you squirt water? Sorry, Manta.
So she comes in like a manzo is the bodyguard she's like well what you say
better be nice because Mary's at her breaking point literally one of her hips doesn't work anymore
so Christine enters as if nothing has gone wrong she's like hi babe you look beautiful babe
You look beautiful, babe.
And so she gives her the speech. I know things were out of hand last night
and I wanna apologize for bringing stuff up
at the wrong moment.
Give my brown something up.
If I brought it up at the wrong time.
And I wanna apologize for being a complete bitch.
I mean, when I realized when I got home,
what I realized when I got home,
is Mary and I haven't talked in so long.
Yeah, and I hadn't talked to you
since our fight that you started,
and it's just been really hard
because you've iced me out of your life.
So if I said anything wrong,
I wanna apologize by inviting you to smell this flower get right up close get right up close this flower
Yeah, right there right there. Oh, oh my god. Did you get squirted by the flower?
I'm so sorry if I did that to you and Mary's like there was no
Attention, I mean I'm busy in your traveling
So I thought we were cool and then we're not cool.
And like, I agree that we need to talk, but like, we are days away from my wedding.
Yeah, just like, um, it's just like, I had to, just marry.
I just had to go to the office where you and Krashelle are there, like talking about your dress fitting
and all these things I'm not getting invited to.
Like, you're apparently real bachelor at party.
And so I'm just feeling so isolated by your actions,
and I feel like I lost my friend,
and I don't know why other than the fact
that you've just been terrible to me,
so I'm sorry if I have been a nuisance to your life right now.
And then they both end it with like,
oh my god, you know what we needed to do? Talk!
And you're like, yeah, you know what?
We should have talked.
Yeah, I love talking
talking is so good I'm talking talking so next is wedding set up at the
doheny house lots of muddling and then we get a close-up of the signature cocktails Oh yeah, so Mary's showing up and her sister Anna's there and Nicole's there.
Everyone's in hair make up.
We find out that Mary is actually doing a showing of that very property that day because
Preston is there.
Preston, the agent, who used to do a show and for a music producer and this is the only
day that Preston can come.
So she has to
Like show on her wedding day. Got it. Yeah
And a man so slate course and we're like to be fair
She's got two kids and toe and of course like well, we're here for you
You know what time months don't matter, but then a man's that gets sad, and her kids are adorable.
Of course.
Well, I mean, man's so cute.
So how can you have adorable kids?
So then Preston comes in, he's like,
Oh my God, are you getting married?
Congratulations.
I love that he didn't even know
that a wedding was gonna be going on during his show.
I know, seriously.
He's like, I didn't even realize,
no, well, it's fine, Preston, go walk around, and I'm just gonna meet up with you. He's like, okay, great. So then Preston's like, I didn't even realize, like, no, well, it's fine, press and go walk around,
and I'm just gonna meet up with you.
He's like, okay, great.
So then, press and it's like walking around,
and then all of a sudden, just, you're like a clad The kitchen is amazing. Oh my god, it's a living room.
Look at that.
Wow.
And then we go over to Jason's house, where Jason and Brett are with,
with Romain.
And they're like, it's like clearly that this is where the, like,
the groomsmen are, I felt really bad for Romain that seems like Jason and Brett
are his only friends in LA.
I was like, oh, Romaine.
I know that was kind of sad, but he's also such an ass.
Yeah.
Because Jason's like, hey, man, guess what?
Today's your wedding day.
And he goes, I know.
He has so much personality that Romaine.
Yeah.
He's like, well, it's been really nice knowing you, buddy.
And Romaine just looks at him like, what is this supposed to mean, huh?
And they're doing that thing where like,
wearing a three-piece suit, but no tie, a collar open.
But the thing is that the collar is like,
the shirt is not like the right shirt
for being open like that.
So it has like an awkward open lapel situation, you know?
I like that they got the slow motion. The men are coming down the hallway. It's low motion.
And then we see the TV coming out the floor and super slow motion. Oh wait, that was just the
regular speed. So people start arriving at the wedding and remains families there. Everybody's
really cute. Romance family looks there. Everybody's really cute.
Romance family looks so French.
It's like if I had to imagine the most French family, it's Romance family showing up right
there.
I know.
You know that there was a bread baking somewhere close.
They brought like a mobile oven, a mobile baguette oven.
But they're just like handing out that guess to everyone. So the guests are all seated and Christine is sitting behind Prishell and she's like
kind of moves her hair back and Krishell's like, what do you want?
She goes, oh do you want your hair in front?
Because I was going to put it in back for you.
I know.
Her shell's like, I'm good.
Thanks. I was fixing her hair.
Like no, you were fucking up her hair on purpose.
Hmm.
So then the wedding starts and people walk down and God, Romain really is so cute when
his mouth is closed.
Yeah, he really is.
He's got that amazing hair.
He's so hot.
I like that Mary's mom looks like Joanna Kerns from Growing Pains. And also crazy.
I know that we know that she has a son
and the son is like an adult,
but it was really weird seeing the son.
I'd be like, wow, Mary has an adult son.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
And she's walking down the aisle.
She's walking very smoothly for Mary,
but her head is still like,
uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You know what I hated? very smoothly for Mary, but her head is still like, uh, uh, uh, uh,
uh,
uh,
uh,
uh,
uh,
uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh,
uh,
uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh,
uh,
uh, uh,
uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, walk. Yeah. So then Nicole is their preacher lady and she's like, um, I mean guys, you fell in love by chance, but you chose each other. Besides the fact that these two look like a walking Calvin Klein ad, am I right? You both have chosen very wisely, the serious question remain. Do you take Mary to be lawfully
wedded wife?" And he's like,
I do.
Hold on, Romaine. Not so fast. To love and cherish, to carry her when she
bobbles down the sidewalk till death do you part.
I still do.
Oh my God, so much personality. And Mary, will you marry William
Shatner's son? She's like, I bet. She noticed that his dad looks like William Shatner.
Yes, that's so funny. Oh, and Romaine's mom was crying. It was so sweet. So Mary says her
vows in French, which I was like, you know, you know, I appreciate about Mary
After dating Romain for about two years or so. She still hasn't put in the time to even try to learn his language or how to speak it
I was like that was really that was really cool of you Mary. I know that's so beautifully murkah, isn't it?
And she's also reading she's printed out French in this humongous font
Yeah, she's so funny. Jador
printed out French in this humongous font.
Yeah, she's so funny.
Jadour, Jadour, Romain, Parsq, Parsq, you'll, S, it'll ask Trays, uh, Tray,
Traybo, Traybo, and Jive, uh,
the, uh, uh, Marriott, Marriott, Marriott.
Uh, and their little dogs bring up the rings and you may not
French kiss your bride
Yeah, now we're at the reception and
Crescelle is all of us. She's at the bar. She's like, do you have any straws by chance? No save the turtles in my right Cheers is it cuz on the smelly girl? It's cuz on the smelly girl straws for the nice smelling people
This reminds me of my childhood not having straws
And Maya is Maya's very confused, but everything's like wait guys. Is it self-serve?
Is this self-serve guys guys?
So the girls sit down and are so bored Heather's like looking at her phone and Chris out
You know they're just all kind of looking around and then Heather is like, oh my god
I miss him so much. She records a video for stuff going baby
You are so sexy and I miss you your girl looks pretty hot to look at me. Yeah
She's like making kissing bases towards the camera. I'm just like beyond awful. She's so awful
And my it's like we missed you, Tariq.
So, Krishel, what do you do? So what do you do on your day off? And
Krishel, I felt bad. You can just see the sadness in Krishel. And
she's like, well, on our days off, Justin and I, we'd like to
get a few drinks and we'd like to go drunk shopping.
It's just like a silly fun thing that we we love to do and it's kept our marriage together and
everything's fine, everything's fine, everything's fine, everything's fine. Well, I'm sorry I missed
Broker's open. How was he, Taylor? And Heather's like, um, a little stressful. Why? Why? Why? Why are you
listening to the scene right now? There's this door and then there was a cheese plate
So it was already pretty cool
And the Heather tells her that Christina my and
Christine and whoever had to moanate. What am I saying? I wrote X and Maya had to
moanate about the second batch party. So whatever whatever you were basically she tells her that they were having a
Fight about the bachelor at party, you know, oh thanks. So they start talking about it and then
did you see this? They cut to Romana Mary sitting at the head of the whole table situation.
And Romana has like a little piece of steak on his fork and he eats it. He goes at it like a
freaking coyote who found like roadkill. He's like, it was, I was like, who is this monster that Mary, Mary has married?
He's even know how to eat a piece of steak.
That cuts back and my ass like, well, I'm gonna say I got a Fendi too.
I got what the Fendi to it is.
And Krystin's like, it wasn't a second bachelor rat party guys.
We post-mated dinner.
It wasn't a party yeah yeah yeah
we all know that if it's if food comes from postmates it's not a party so totally yeah so Mary
sees them talking she's like oh my god do you see what's going on there looks like they're starting drama man's a man's a man's a get over there. They're starting drama
Man's is like
Hey guys, there's somebody need a knowledge branch cuz I actually got a knowledge branch
I think it's not a branch. I might actually be poison ivy here put it on your face try it out
Yeah, she comes in way too hot and won't leave and they're like what the hell?
It's like I mean, I felt it. I felt the energy over there guys. Take the olive branch. Just take it.
Yeah, and my ass like well no, well we were just talking about the broker's open and how it would have been nice to be getting invited, you know?
And he's like um, can we just like not talk about this tonight? I mean my kids are right over there.
I mean there's so many crimes happening that are not being solved because they're at this wedding. Can we just respect that for a moment?
Okay, thank you.
And my ass like don't worry. It was a good conversation and Heather's like, yeah, I was all positive.
And then drum start
like don't pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, pump, which I don't know why, but it matters like Christine. Are you okay?
Christine's like, um, I'm great. I don't hold the corrects.
There's no overlap with me at this wedding and also me being angry. I'm great. I don't hold grudges. There's no overlap with me at this wedding and also me being angry. I'm fine.
Yeah. So Manzo walks off and Christine's like awkward a man's that's her name now.
Awkward a man's.
Yeah, she's like the weird creepy uncle who pops out of the bushes.
I'm like, I don't my uncle's never did that.
Is that a thing that?
Is that a thing with uncles
who pop out of bushes?
I don't know, but every time somebody says,
oh my God, that's the creepy uncle who,
I always think is that me, you know,
like am I that uncle?
I always like take stock.
Like am I that uncle?
I don't think so.
Someone has to be it.
Also, this is also the beginning of Christine
fully gaslighting a man's up.
You know, she started with the bodyguard comment and now it's like,
oh my god, she's like a linebacker.
So now she's not a bodyguard, but a man's up is being a bodyguard.
I mean, Mary Mary sent her to talk to Christine twice now in one day and when that was true.
So, um, yeah.
So basically, Krishel feels good about that because now Christine's new target is a manza and not her, so she can relax.
Yeah.
And then, let's see.
Oh yeah.
So then they're having pig, strength, cake, a manza, Khrushchev and Maya are talking.
And Maya's like, I'll just pretend to drink over here.
Well, all of you drink and the manza's like, I literally thought you guys were having
a heated moment over there. I brought in all of branch. Do you guys remember that all of branch?
I actually walked around the property about five times to find it. So it was like a really good prop on my part. Well, they were just upset that they weren't invited the other night to your postmates just sit around the house with the stripper pulling the kids party so you know but again
it like it really was not a badger threat party it was just it was just a once in a lifetime
event to celebrate her singlehood that's all it was so my is like well I wouldn't
say upset we just saw photos on Instagram and we just felt unincluded but it's okay
and it matters like well look I invited who I wanted to invite.
Like, no one there had any drama with Mary ever.
So I was like, oh, so you did take time to text people.
Yeah, you did take time.
And invite them.
Okay.
Yeah, exactly.
Did Heather and Mary have drama?
I don't think they had drama.
Did Maya have drama with Mary?
I don't know.
I guess.
I don't know. So guess I don't know.
So Amanda, Amanda is like Christine being
still upset, like clearly they still have stuff going on.
Mm-hmm.
And Maya's like, yeah, but Christina
apologized, you know?
She apologized for it, huh?
And Chris says like, uh-uh.
I mean, like basically you just accept her apology
and then she does it again.
It's like she lashes out and then she says, sorry, like it's supposed to all be fine.
Yeah.
And then, um, Christina and Heather are like watching from afar.
They're like on the dance floor and they're like, they're just watching and Christine's like,
I'm glad those bitches are so obsessed with us.
And, and Chrishell's really going there, Nash.
Like, pop off on Mary.
And Matt goes, yeah, she called her a church.
Oh, more than that.
She said she's acting like a fucking idiot.
And I'm like, no, she's not.
And then she's like, but she is.
And I'm like, no, she's not, we know she's not an idiot.
And she's like, but she's acting like one.
And I was like, but no, she's not one.
She's like, but she's acting like one.
And I'm like, no, she's not one. She's like, but she's acting like one. Then I'm like, no, she's not one.
So that's pretty much that.
Yeah, it probably happened about 15 more times after that.
So you pretty much get the picture, don't you?
I hope you do.
And the man says like, hold on.
She said what?
And then Mary like comes, comes over.
And she's like, am I interrupting something?
And they're like, hmm, she's like, okay.
And then she walks away.
And she was mimicking her, I mean,
but you know, like she's trashing Mary, so.
That's maybe going a little far.
But yeah, and so Maya's like, so manza,
are you going to say anything to Christine on pregnant?
And the man says like, I'm not going to say anything tonight because Mary's like, it's like Mary's party, but I will.
Because Christina always talks about loyal.
I'll show you loyalty.
Yeah.
As soon as I look it up, the picture, right?
And then remain in marriage, we we have off into the night. And the adventure continues and we'll have to see what happens when season three starts.
Oh, next week.
And they're a way of going off like they're send off thing, you know, they used to throw
rice, but then you can't throw rice because that kills birds or something.
And then so people started using sparklers
but those started brides on fire or something.
And then now they're using those glow stick things,
like those glow necklaces.
I'm sure there's some sea creature that those kills too.
Like, well,
remain the most vulnerable person at them.
Like I knew I smelled bread baking.
I knew it.
Bo-boi-haw-jewa, bo-boi-haw-jewa. Well, that'll be fun. Like I knew I smelled bread baking. I knew it. Boom boy ho, Javon! Boom boy ho, Javon!
Boom boy ho, Javon!
Well, that'll be fun.
So we'll see you guys in a couple weeks with this new one.
Yeah, well, next week, because it's starting,
I think the new season drops this weekend.
On the seventh, starts the seventh.
Oh, it starts the seventh?
Oh, yeah.
It starts the seventh.
It starts the seventh.
God, duh.
Well, I'm excited because the trailer,
the Steel-to-Come trailer was great.
It looks like there's gonna be lots of tension with
D'Vina and Jason over that listing,
and then,
Chris Shell and her, and Justin,
their divorce happens.
It looks like there's a lot of stuff happening.
Hardy!
We'll see you next guy.
I mean, next time, guys!
Yeah, bye everyone!
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