Watch What Crappens - SellingSunset: Tall Orders and Short Windows

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

On Selling Sunset season 3 episode 3, Davina's $75 million listing continues to cause problems of all sizes, especially with Jason a.k.a. The Number One Guy In This Group. Will Davina be able to find a buyer for Adnan's evil lair? Or will she crash and burn like so many vehicles trying to make a left on Coldwater Canyon out of the property's driveway? Plus, Romain eats cheese. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crappens, a podcast, but all that crap we just love to watch on Bravo and Beyond. I'm Ben Mandelker of The Real Houseware, so kitchen island, it's Cartoon, you can watch it on YouTube and Instagram. And I'm also on the Game Brain podcast, which is about board games, if you're a board

game nerd like I am, you can go listen to that, check out the latest episode because I'm on it. And joining me is a man who's also my work husband He is hilarious. He's just the best best one ever. It's Ronnie Karam who also does the Rosepricks bachelor roast Podcast. What's up Ronnie? For you today. I'm doing so well. I'm always doing great on a cell Sunday for you today. I'm doing so well, I'm always doing great on a cell-son day. Uh, cell-son!

Love-selling-sonsa. Love-salsons. It's one of my favorite shows of all time. So good. I'm like mad. I'm mad that we interviewed Christine after having only watched one episode of the season because, um, like, I want to ask her right now, like, why the fuck did you not text Divina? Like why didn't you text her and say,

hey, I just was at the house, just FYI. Like why not? Why not? Because only Divina would care about that. No other person would care. I mean, you're co-listing the house, you want to stop by and show it to your husband who can help sell it?

Who cares if she calls Davina? The real, the real evil person here to me is Admon, fucking, WikiLeaks over there. Yeah, seriously. No, I mean, I think it, I still think that, like, they should be on the same page, that way she doesn't get blindsided by our question. But how is it blindsided? Because she didn't know that there was a show. Yeah, but why is that even, like, a thing where she has to it blindsided? Because she didn't know what it was. She didn't know there was a show.

Yeah, but why is that even like a thing where she has to be blindsided? Like, oh, Christine came by, that's great. Oh, you didn't know? No, I haven't talked to her yet. How did it go? That's all it had to be. I mean, Divina could work on being smoother.

That's for sure not a strong point for her, but that's why I love her. Because she is the opposite of smooth. She's like, bubbly and awkward. But that being said, I don't know, I still think like it's there's it's it's it's not a great look. You want to always seem like you're so on top of all your shits that way there's like no reason to give someone an excuse to get rid of you. So my question is retroactively. Christine, why don't you send a text to Divina? I mean, come on though.

You know, she was asking for my help. So, I thought that I was doing her a favor by bringing in Kristen. Oh! There, there's your answer. I just picked up the phone. Okay, great. So, you guys, let's talk selling sunset.

Let's just dive right into it today. For those following along weekly, this is episode 303, season three, episode three. It's called the biggest agent in the room. Oh, that feels a little shady to me for reasons that I won't go into because it makes me sound really superficial, but it may have something to do with some people's hearts. The tallest agent in the room.

Other people's eyes. So the episode opens up with Davina re-entering the the lair of Audnon. Who is just like Dr. Evil's lair. It's like, like, sir, could you just like try not to look evil? Could you like, do you literally have to be sitting in front of a chess board? I mean, like, what's next? Are you gonna have like, codes to nuclear arms next to you? When we come in for the next scene?

A little hairless cat and said, eating, you know, like, eating the arm of a baby as she comes in. Are we gonna see, like, Josh Altman strapped to a table with a laser about to go up to his groin? Like, what else are you going to be doing? Yeah. Oh, good to see you.

He's like, hmm, a lol. I'm like, how are you? And then they do that. She does that salesperson handshake where she's like, I'm really, really grateful to be with you right now. Where you shake hands, but then you put your other hand on top of his hand. Like, wow, this really means a lot to me. It's like a hand hug.

It's like shaking and hugging all at once, which I don't think that Adnan would appreciate, you know? So she's like, so playing chess, hot, playing chess, because I love playing chess with my son and my enemies. Who's also my son? Oh yeah, so many steps ahead. I just love that. I love it.

I love chess. I love that you're playing chess. He's like, everybody needs to know how to play chess. But you're love it. Love it. So tell me, how is that showing that that slut gave Christine sewing I'm sorry was Christine here. I didn't know Christine was here Christine show them I didn't even know

She left me this Smooth smooth one Divina. She left me this box of Christine Redden Bacher popcorn and a Botox needle and a very scared woman in Monica who's still cowering in the corner please give me burger with Botox I've never seen such stiff burger. She did she didn't tell me about that. I guess maybe we aren't very good at coordinating our businesses together. Why am I still speaking? He's like, what is going on?

What is happening? It doesn't look good. Hmm, I agree with you. Love that, love, Charles. Love, Charles. You brought her in. And you are not aligned. Listen, I'm very serious about my work. Ah, you just knock over all the chess pieces.

I mean, how much worse can you get? Um, I mean, we are aligned. It's just like I haven't had a chance to speak with her, and I don't know how it went, but I'm hopefully went well. It's like, oh, I don't know. This, this I'm hopefully went well. He's like oh I don't know. Does that, this properties value? Maybe too high for you. Might be a little over your league, this property. I think maybe I need a realtor who understands the benefits of having a hard time making

a left turn out of your driveway on to cold water, can you? And maybe that's what I need. You do not understand the money that went into having to back up into cold water. Maybe I need a realtor who appreciates a 360 degree view of sand and dirt in backyard. Well, look, here's what I think. I I really really appreciate you and this opportunity and three months is a really short period of time Don't give me excuses. You're making excuses Please take these popcorn and get out of my face. Oh I can't see it on properties like this every day. It's costing me a fortune So I'm going to blame you for my poor investment choices, okay?

Yes, I'm gonna blame you for the fact that I'm trying to blatantly fucking rob people and I'm Delusional enough to think that anything in this neighborhood around the street is worth $75 million Seriously thing in this neighborhood around the street is worth $75 million. Seriously. Sorry. Damien is like, well, I'm in knots. I mean, I really, I can't, you know, this is a big deal for me. It might not be a big deal for Christine, but like, I can't afford to look bad in front of this client ever, ever, not ever.

I can't look bad at all. Oh my God, I just spilled water all over my chest. Oh, shucks. She just compromised me. What are you talking about? She brought somebody in with the rolodex of people who could actually afford this house, Davina. That's more than you've done. But she still should have texted Davina and said, F.Y.I, this is what I did. So that way she wouldn't, I mean, to me, that looked, she did look dumb. She looked real dumb right there. She made her, I think, yeah, I stick with my, she

should have just said, what? Yeah, of course I stick with mine. She should have just said what? Yeah, of course, it went great. We're waiting to see what he thought. Damn, you know, she's like back pedals herself into these stupid. She's not good at, she's not good at on the fly things, like just like I am. Just like I am with my on the fly senses and not observations.

So he's like this, he's beef nymphs. And then the floor opens up and sucks to be in a dab and we never see her again. So then we go over to some restaurant and it's like this pink courtyard. I've never even heard or seen it this place before. And Mary meets up with Crishell, and there's a lot of asking questions back and forth about the quality of the cuteness of the restaurant. How cute is this place? Oh my God. Oh my God, this place is so cute.

How cute is it though? How cute is it? Oh my God, is this place like the cutest? Is this the cutest place you've ever seen? It's like the cutest place you've ever seen. Is this place like the cutest? Oh my God, it's cute. It's cute, it's cute.

Cute, right? Yeah. Cute. And I think it's a French place because the waiter is trying to be really French. First of all, waiter eyebrows, stop with that. Keep your eyebrows to yourself. I'm trying to enjoy my food.

I do not need your crazy fucking eyebrows. No. Well, I'm eating. Exactly. food. I do not need your crazy fucking eyebrows. Well, I'm eating. Exactly. But he's also very like, bojo le pro so le pro so how I love le pro so. So stop, stop, you are not French. Yes, stop trying to sound fancy

because we all know you're gonna serve a barada salad very shortly with oversized tomato wedges. Not refines. Oh my god, does that look amazing? That looks amazing. How amazing god, does that look amazing? That looks amazing. How amazing does this look? That's amazing.

That's amazing. It's an amazing. Have you ever seen this before? You know what? I'm so glad I ordered this. Are you so glad you ordered yours? I'm so glad you glad. I'm so glad you finished my.

It's almost a walk. It's almost a walk. I actually don't like it at all. You want this? It's so cute. Oh my god. It's so cute. And he also does that other waiter thing I hate where he's like, well, what would you like for your food? And they're

like, Baratta Salad, he goes, Oh, absolutely delicious. Thank you, Baku. Oh, glad you improved. Yeah. Exactly. My dad hates that. My dad's like, I didn't come here to ask for your opinion. That's his mindset. So, um, Khrushchell is, this is true. It's led to a lot of awkward moments. So, Khrushchell, Khrushchell's like, oh my god,

I feel like I haven't seen you and like cut up with you in so long it's been like a while. I'm like, it's been three scenes, okay? There was a whole episode last week, there was this is not the season finale break and she's like married life welcome to the club you're married I'm married oh my god we're in the same married people's club and Mary's like you guys are so perfect like you guys are like the perfect couple like Couple goals so happy couple goals. Oh my god like somewhere when they have like diamonds now and forever

It's gonna be called Chris shell and Justin now and forever cuz you guys are so perfect couple goals You guys are gonna last longer than cats Did you notice the woman who was sitting behind Chris shell during this entire scene? better than cats. I mean, couple of rolls. Did you notice the woman who was sitting behind Krischell during this entire scene? She looked like a spy. She was trying to infiltrate, she was listening on these women because she needs to, she is, she is going to like infiltrate Adnan's layer. She was sitting there with sunglasses looking down at her plate as if she were actually eating

and she was just listening in on every little morsel. Was she sitting behind Krischell because because the girl sitting behind or the guy sitting behind Mary was also really funny? He's just like, oh my god, look at us out here in a lovely French restaurant. Not looking at the camera, not looking at the eye, looking at the camera. I'm sorry, I'm looking at the camera. Like, oh, don't look at the camera. Yeah, he was, he was also very present, but the woman behind Krashell was full on spy like she has a like there's a dossier where it's like all right, we need to get to odd non but before but and the only way in

is through his realtors. So Krashell's like yeah, you know, I just knew right away that Justin was gonna be my husband. I mean, so much so that I texted who's now one of my bridesmaids. I found him. Oh, and I have found you. And then that bridesmaid wrote back, by him, do you mean a bar of ivory soap? I forgot that I was the smelly kid. Oh god, that will trail me around forever. I was like, you know, I just liked out Mary. I mean, it's like I met my best friend. I was just like, yay. It's like that is the most romantic story.

I was just like, yay. So Mary's like, couple goals. So what have you been doing besides being married? I mean, I'm pretty great. You're married. I'm married too So I was like well, I'm working on my cold water listing You're gonna be able to buy your own home soon. You're gonna buy a home soon Mary You're married. That's what married people do. Oh Mary just so you know your elbow is in your barata salad right now

your barata salad right now. I wanted to see just one scene of them trying to handle a giant ball of barata. Because his barata is such a wobbly fucking mess. That's like, oh, look, here's a solid ball of cheese and you cut into it. It's like, but it's bleeding. It's the master Pearson of cheese. I'm waiting. I'm waiting.

Oh, master Piusong. Oh, master Piusong. Oh, master Piusong. So Mary's like, well, we might actually be moving to the valley with you. That's what Mary's people do. And then she's like, but I have a confession. I made an appointment to go do a portrayal of the eclectic, just to see how like, for the Lyam down there and everything,

but I haven't told Romaine because, like, one thing that I've discovered about our, like, really great relationship is that it's scary to tell things to each other, so... So, it's like, well, I wouldn't you want to tell Romaine! She's like, oh, I'm like nervous. It's like so much pressure because like,

he definitely wants to and our age difference. He would really, I mean, would really magnify our age difference. Like Mary, you have not tricked Romaine into thinking that he married a 20-year-old. Yeah, okay. Romaine is, Romaine is not like gonna wake up one day like, oh god what have I done this is person older than me yeah yeah exactly you've not tricked them I think as long as the cameras are in your life Mary you will have romaine too so but then Mary tells her so romantic isn't it that's that's a real LA love story just stay on TV you can do it Mary So then Mary tells a really sad story about how she had, with her previous husband, she had twins, but she had miscarriages.

And it was a very intense emotional experience. And I kind of, I'm sorry, I've got a peanut in my throat, and it sounds like I'm choking up, but I'm actually not choking up. But then I feel bad that I'm saying that I'm not choking up. I feel like I should be choking up. But I have, you know when you eat a peanut and then 15 minutes later A little piece of being that's like guess what I was hiding in your gums all along and I'm gonna choke you

I was like what why did this happen I drunk water Anyway, the point is this it like she it was they created a emotional dynamic where there has been and basically it was a terrible Point in her life and she does not want to, she's been traumatized and does not want to go through that again. Yeah. She's like, my mom's scared. What if I can't have a baby? And then I lose him.

And Chris Shulls, like, just get pregnant with a telephishing. Listen, there's always love after lock up. Have you thought about putting Jason and Bretton bonnets? She's like I don't think that he's with you for a baby. I mean I know it's part of a relationship you know I mean for Justin it really is but look I thought I would be a mom at this point but you know I just love Justin and he's my person and things change and you know, he loves you, like Justin loves me. So that's all gonna work out great. I mean, look at us and then think you're just like us

and then wait for a couple of months and see how you feel. You're gonna feel great. And then remember that you're actually married into the cast of this is us. Oh wait, that's just me, not you. Here's the thing, here's something you always have to remember. As your spouse's star rises,

your chance of marriage working out multiplies tenfold, okay? And you're on the rise, so this will really work out well for you. Yeah, there's nothing that helps a guy's relationship more than getting famous in a Hollywood where he can get whatever if a China he wants. Yeah, it's gonna work out great Mary. Yeah, you're gonna be fine because we're gonna be fine We'll see goes, you know, I was there's more ways there's more than one way to oh my god I was gonna say skin a cat, but I don't want a skin a cat better ways to dress that kid Mary Mary's laughing.

She goes, you're making me you're making me laugh. It's like we see Mary. She's like, sorry, I have to explain so many things to Romain, a sort of force of habit. So now I'm at Christine's house. And Christine's like walking around. She's done that thing with her hair, where it's like, you know how people do that to like their multi-stogs, where they make a poo from their head. So she's done it to her head, and she's just walking around with it. And Deina. It's my casual look.

Yeah, I'm just being casual on the house. So Devina comes over and I'm actually, hi, it's me, Devina, your friend that you forgot to text, but anything, I'm here to talk about, you know, the whole house upstairs, and by upstairs, I mean up on the hills, you know what I'm saying? $75 million. How was your day? You want water, champagne? Because like, sorry, I'll have this mug and they don't even match. And one of the mugs is a mug of like a woman in a bikini and the bikini is a union jack that says

London on it and on top of that the boobs of the woman protrude from the mug. the boobs of the woman protrude from the mug. Meanwhile, Christine throwing us a sweater or like, yeah, sweater, it's just bones. Yes. Uh, a gold weight. She's wearing a gold weight sweater. Yeah, that's LA goals. So, um, so, Davina's like, so I was talking to Adnan and before he cut off my pinky, he said, I have to sell this house

So like um he told me you had a showing and I I didn't even know that you had a showing and like we just like really bad And I'm like tap dancing around and I'm like shuffle tap shuffle tap and I just like don't know what I'm doing really and like What am I doing? I'm like speechless and Christine Christine's like, well, it was never my intention to go behind your back. Like I was in the neighborhood with Kristen, and I, you know, I have such a short window with Kristen and I just, I knew I could get him to see the property because like we were already there.

And like we spent time going through his roll-ed-ax. Um, well, I don't know what to say about someone in 2020 who slows a roll-ed-ax, but I just wish you would have told me because I look like a fool. I make I look like a terrible agent and like I can't look like a terrible agent and I try. I mean, you should see the dresses that I wear on this show. I try to look like a terrible agent, but it's one thing for me to try to look like a terrible agent and another for you to make me look like a terrible agent. But I took the window of opportunity, which was a short window. It was short.

It's like, but I can't be in this position. Like, I look like an idiot. Um, and then Christine's like, Divina came for to me for help and if she doesn't like the way I work Then fine sell your own house because I'm gonna keep these burgers for me. Quinn it out hashtag It's like, but I'm just doing that best I can yeah, but this whole situation like doesn't help it can't happen again Because my client is pissed and if I lose my listing, I'm gonna lose my mind. Yeah, it goes.

I didn't think that going there would be a big deal. I mean, I thought a bigger deal would have been the fact that I didn't offer him a quinnon outbarger, so... I'm gonna go, so I'm gonna just go. I'll see what the office is. And then as as she leaves Davina gets some great music this episode She leaves and the music's like don't say maybe you've been hanging around too much lately Even the music is dissing Davina Even the music that is showing of the mansion wait a second is it true that the music that is showing of the mansion. Wait a second.

Is it true that the music showed this mansion didn't call me? Big, big overpriced house. Hey! Stop talking about my property. I'm not no someone that probably don't because it's ever priced and it's not cold water. Hey! Hey! Hey!

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She ain't no shrinking Violet Coo-Tar! We love you guys! So back at the office! Guys! Udla-la! There's a call! It's quite you gotta stand up! You wanna be for this, you wanna be for this! Guys! Say the good-bye! There's there's a call. It's quite you got to stand up

Guys, so to get it guys guys, okay When you use the coffee and there's no more water you got to fill it up with more water guys Come on now Okay, sir, I think it was Mary says Mary and trouble are you gonna get Mary and trouble? Oh, Mary is never in trouble trouble never in trouble. She's favorite And Davina is watching a video. It's like Michael's what are you watching over there? Is it porn? No, it's dogs apparently they went to the odd non-house also He's holding them up. He's showing this other dog my property without me knowing so glad I found out on Instagram guys

So what all sorry I'm horny. I'm just being so horny lately Oh guys guys nothing erupt but I want to remind you of my housewarming. I'll text you Yeah, are you gonna have a date there? Oh, you're gonna have a date? We were having a date there. Oh. I like, I like Brett saying he's like, I just want to remind you of my housewarming. I'm gonna text you.

I'm like, well, isn't the text the reminder? Come on now. Yeah. Did you really need to interrupt my talking about how warning she is? Are you gonna have a date there? Are you gonna fall in love and get married? Is Tarak gonna be there because I'm already in love with Tarak I'm not playing this game. I don't want any questions. I just interrupted a fun conversation inserted myself in there so I could just ignore you guys. So I carry on. Hey guys. Just want you to know I'm gonna text you in all of that so

Just want to put that up. What carry on. Hey guys, just want you to know I'm going to text you in all of that. So just want to put that out. Watch out for that guys. Keep an eye out. We good text. So then we get a close up of Mary's dog sniffing all around like it's going to pee on the desk. I don't know why they want us to hate Mary's dog. But in a scene before they showed Christine's dog and they're like, what is daddy? Hey, everybody say, Teddy five times. Let's make it look like the cutest dog in the world before they showed Christine's dog and they're like, what is Teddy? Hey, everybody say Teddy five times. Let's make it look like the cutest dog in the world. And then Mary's, they make it look like some blind little rascal who's trying to pee on the desk. Is that me?

I didn't realize that was Mary's dog. I thought it was just a general dog that was there all the time. It's one of the employees without lines. There's like a Hannah Gatsby person in the back corner. I've noticed it's maybe it belongs to them. Oh, um, man, it's like even that dog sold more than me. So good luck, which I could believe in myself like that dog has Hi, Divina, I'm so horny. Tell me, how's your $75 million

listing going? Well, I mean, it's overpriced, so that's a struggle. But like I brought up Christine and the hell, but there was like a communication mess up with Christine and then my client because she had a showing and then, you know, I wasn't aware of it. But then my client knows that I didn't know. But then like, oh my god, what a mess guys. What a mess. Um, but her like, oh my God, what a mess guys, what a mess. But her client knew because I saw him.

So like, I have a very short window to get Christian. I mean, it's a very tall window of Tibet, but it's a very short window for Christian. It's basically like a drive-through window. It McDonald's like Tibet, that's a really tall church door, but to the rest of us, it's a short window. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know, it's like, you know, like a puppy door, it's like that, and you know how that's like the architrium to Jason, but it's like a very, it's like a puppy door to Christian. But I like came in to give him an update, and he was really upset that I didn't even know that was the show

Yeah, and Mary is like it does make you look bad, so that sucks As she pulls out of her chair Yeah, and Christine's like um, I think at this point we should work as separate co-workers because I don't want to step on anyone's toes and I feel under appreciated and no one has even complimented my Donna Reed glasses yet. So I'm out. So now we go to a place called Fennel Place which sounds adorable. It's like Fennel but Miss Bell because there's two L's but that's very LA to like Miss Bell something and make a street out of it. So we're at Fennaalah place and Heather and a man's a show up at this house. And Jason's already there and he's talking to a woman and they're in an empty room

and there's like this wooden table and he goes, yeah, I have the same furniture from the same company. Yeah, I have a dash from them and a bed from them. So I'm like, stop trying to want up your client over the new desk. So it'll be is. And then they come in and he's like, okay, we got a hug. That's a hug. Everybody hug, everybody hug.

All right, it's got a good to see you. Good to see you, man. So that's a good, anybody want a hug, Cat? Nobody, nobody, Cat, sorry. I think my furniture is just a little newer than yours. So, Cat's gonna go hug, Liz. I was just telling, I was just telling her about how I had the same furniture, but it's like a little bit better because, uh, because I got a little bit more of it. So that makes it better. So I don't know. Does

anyone else have furniture from IKEA? I don't know if it's a Swedish importer. Oh, so there Jason is teaming a man said and Heather up to redo this house. Yeah. And Jason's like, yeah, you know, they they've already moved out of this house for, you know, except for a few pieces here, which are great, I think. This is why I own them. I'm probably fit before you guys. Did you hear about this company, it's your meat cat? I don't remember, because I love this company. This company loves me. Yeah, I actually, I actually installed a little elevator in my floor. So that way, if I ever want to access that piece of furniture, I just press a button and 10 minutes later, it rises from the floor. So I just think I treat my furniture a little bit better than you

And they basically have to get this house sold or they lose $90,000 in holding fees Yeah, did you see by the way did you pick up in that really bitchy moment that Heather had because when they show up Heather And Amanda shop and she's like oh, it's both of you and on time. Wow. Heather goes, she's working on it. Yeah. For someone who lives in Orange County, Heather's really bit to you about time. I know. Because you know everybody who lives from Orange County gets, gets to half an hour late.

No traffic. No, you live in fucking Orange County, okay? You had to drive three hours to get here. Exactly. Now, by the way, how did this work when you were talking about like something was an escrow and $92,000 were already released? Like, what does that mean? I thought he was saying that they've already bought another house, so they need the money from this house to pay that house. And if when you hold a house and you haven't sold it yet,

you still have to pay the property taxes and the, you hold a house and you haven't sold it yet, you still have to pay the property taxes and everything else that goes along with it. Oh, I think. Something like that, I don't know. So that's what holding fees are, but I don't know why it would be $90,000. He said something about like $92,000 have already been released and I don't get it.

So now he's like, well, we're gonna use our concierge. Our concierge, it's really great. And then like, okay're gonna use our concierge service, our concierge, it's really great. And they're like, okay, I have the concierge service, the Oak Groups Concierge service. So we fund money to do home renovations and scrubbing and sanding floors and staging, and then the seller pays for it later. I'm like, it's like the same thing as if the sell,

it's basically like, you're still paying for it, essentially, to do all that stuff. But they're going to be doing that. And they've got the floor, look at that floor, look at that stupid floor, I guess what I don't have furniture. I don't have furniture made up of that floor, stupid floor. Contemporize it. Amanta, this is your deal. And she's like, oh my god, I'm a little nervous to work with Heather because we had a rest start and

I don't know if we can communicate enough, but if we can, that's awesome. I'm on time, so I should get a little credit for that, right? I need you, I am. No one? All right. Yeah, and then Heather nearly falls over trying to get in the backyard because she steps in some sort of groove and her heal gets caught. She just repeatedly has issues with door jams.

I think she struggles getting through doors, you know? Yeah, and walking. I mean, it's the every episode thing of just trying to get through life in those heels. It's like a different kind of handicap on this show. It really is. So then they go into the bedroom and there's a fireplace and there's a fireplace cover.

And they're like, should we keep this fireplace cover, like orders to close off the room? And a man's is like, I actually like it. And they're like, I hate it. I hate it. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Sorry, man. That too against one.

Yeah. And then I think even cats like, I don't like either. She's like like three against one And the man's just like haha one designer three opinions, so So then Heather is like Jason wants to torture me for no reason. I mean she shows up late I'm worried she's gonna be late to a lot of things and she's just gonna like drop the ball late And I don't think she's gonna be good to work with and I don't trust her and she's late. So she's late because you decided not to show your listing because you wanted to go

to a nine year old birthday party and nine year old that you're not even related to. Okay. So that's why she was and she did it as a favor in the last minute for you and sitting even promise that she could be on time. Yeah. So there's a movie theater and Brett's like, you know, uh, well, no, they find a music studio. And Heather's like, should we just make this a movie theater? I mean, music. Gross, am I right?

Me, me, me, gross. Gross. So gross. Wait, Tarak loves music. I love a music studio in this house. I love a music studio for this house. I love this. Hey, uh, Heather, you okay? I see you just fell into the drum set. I'm fine He's like, well, yeah, if we find a music producer and they spent a quarter of a million on this radio I mean, they're gonna love this studio and it maps it goes. We're someone with a crying newborn Sound proof room. Just locked that little

fucker in there. Yeah. So now we're back in the office. And Christine has her foot up on the desk and she's like, I haven't shaved my legs in a week. And he like, uh, I think I'm gonna be like, Oh, there's a laser

or something and she's like, no, but it's blonde. So I don't care. And how there goes, you know what? I can never shave my knees. Literally. Hahaha. Hahaha.

It's like I'm trying an undercarriage right now. Cause I'd like to grow a bush. And the man says like, oh a bush or a landing strip. A bush. I mean it hasn't scared Tarak lately. Listen. He, it's not a flip or a flop yet. Still undecided.

Alright. He wants me to put subway tile down there and I'm like, no. lately listen, it's not a flip or a flop yet. Still undecided. All right. He wants me to put Subway tile down there, and I'm like, no, don't worry about it. I do not have a fluffy bush. Mine actually gr is imperfect. It looks like really sexy. It does.

It actually is like Subway tile, but vertically, I don't know if you've ever heard of that trend. I kind of invented it, you know? And Heather goes, yeah, it's sexy. It's like a new vagina and the man's it goes, I would love a new vagina. And then Christine way too late goes, mean to why do you two?

She's still trying to decide if she wants to pivot back to the fact that she doesn't have to shave her legs every week, because it's naturally blonde or should she just dive into the bush conversation. It's so weird. Yeah. So then, uh, Chris tells me, um, guys, I would love to have an event for charity. It's called poor people who aren't married yet. Because they're really, really, I feel so bad for people who aren't in a perfect marriage. Yeah, it's called upward bound house. And I actually got involved with it because I

thought it was Upward Boundhouse and I thought it was donating Boundhouse's to people in need but it's actually for getting housing for homeless people and everyone's like that's so good, that's so good, that's so good. What better way to feature housing for homeless people than a gigantic mansion. Yeah. The person could never afford. Let's do it, guys. They cut to Mary and she's just holding a coffee cup for your life. Like, she's holding that coffee cup for stability. It's like, Mary, it's not a pole. It's not a touch anything. Oh, God. She is. She looks like she's on like one of those wobble boards.

I didn't have that ghost. Oh, you know what, Krishal, you know what you should do? You should auction just an offer a date. That would be so funny. It's like, oh, well, he's super famous. And we're in a perfect marriage. So maybe I'll find something from the show, but I'll probably leave it. You know what's a good idea? I think for this homeless charity, we should just empty the swimming pool out and

then just fill it with money and then have people just come and enroll around in the money. And that'd be fun. And then whatever they don't take home with them, we give to a homeless person to have for a week and they can see what it's like to be rich for a little bit We'll have a valet but then when they leave their cars with the valet what they don't know is the valets are Emping their gas tanks and then refilling them with caviar Okay, hey Jason Hey, I was thinking about wanted if you wanted a co-sponsor in an event with me. What I want to do is I want to take one of our mansions

and I want to raise money for the homeless, but at the same time, try to sell the mansion and earn a lot of money for a lot of people who aren't homeless. Yeah, it's just such an awkward setup. And she's like, yeah, this charity actually, we give them the tools so they won't be homeless again. A house?

Yeah. I mean, what are you giving them? And she's like, and yeah, we should use a house. Well, come on, guys, we all have a way of spinning our listings. Yeah. I like it. It's smarmy and kind of gross. It's just my style.

Okay, I like it. Completely tasteless and toe deaf. I'm in I am in so uh, so basically he's like yeah, yeah, I can I can donate some uh some items. I have some amazing furniture that like I don't know if you heard about but I like a desk and I have a table Uh, it's like amazing. I don't know if you heard about but I like a desk and I have a table off of it's like amazing I don't know if you've ever heard of this test called Tarje and they do some really amazing bespoke work. As he goes um can we like donate the Oppenheim shard me can we auction that so we never have to drink it again we really need to get rid of that shard me.

He's like, fuck you. So Brett's housewarming party. So Marion Romain show up and Soto's Jason is like, oh, good, good, good, good, oh, what's going on? Bonjour, bonjour, bonsoir, bonsoir. Yeah, I don't really know what remains even doing here. Romain, just every time we see Romain, he just walks around slowly and eats and just kind of looks around the room. He's like one of those little things in a fish tank. Like a little snail on the fish. Or one of the sucker fish on a fish tank.

You know, that just sucks the side of the tank the whole time. It's serious that you find it. He's definitely one of those goldfish that tries to eat a pebble and then spits it out again. Cause goldfish love doing that. They're like, I never convinced that those pebbles aren't food. I think maybe now they're food.

It's so, they're always, I think it's like trying to get the last piece of meat off the bone. Yeah, exactly. Cause I feel like every time I'm romaine I'm talking to little pebbles falling out of his mouth, because he is constantly eating or talking with food in his mouth, this entire party. Yeah, it's like how the end of the night when I just spit out a rocky road container,

you know, wanted to make sure I got everything out of that. And then of course Heather walks and he goes, there's Romaine eating away, which is her way of saying, you ate too much of the buffet I put out at my last party. Yeah. So let's see, not sure if Amanda's, Amanda's feeling well. Guys, anybody know about Amanda? She later, she's not feeling well. Amanda has a fever. Oh, God.

I hope the fever was on time. Oh God, I hope the fever was on time. Well, it was supposed to be 101 degree fever, but it's still only at 98, so we're waiting. And Brett goes, wow, not one person is using plates, I love it. Yeah, cause he's like really anal about spills. So everyone's showing up, Divina's there, Christine's there, Christina's telling people about

because of course she's got her long ass ponytail. She's like, I can only wear this for four hours or else I'll get a migraine. Some would say it's a little bit of a short window. Thank you. I heard that your ponytail showed up for a sewing. No, I was just passing on the street. It's just really long sorry guys. I mean this No, I think I was gonna say the same thing as you and since we're twins we can say it together okay brother

I have something to share with you. I mean it's from the bottom of my heart Bottom of my heart guys if any of you spill on my couch. I'll kill you Brat, is there a mate coming? No, Mary, Mary, please, please stay away from the glass table, Mary. Stay away from the glass. Everyone could we all lift Mary down onto the couch together. Thank you. All right, Mary, you're safe. Roman, thank you for bringing over that handful of cheese cubes.

You can eat them. We don't need the mesopillo. Thank you So they're giving him shit about his girlfriend is she wifey potential He's like oh she has sex potential and the Christine's like is that a sausage? I love I got a sausage I Then Mary's like I have things in my mind So I'm gonna go stand on the balcony and just stand here dramatically. I'm not the balcony, dramatically. Wishing I had some macadamia, not creamer

in my beverage right now. Yeah, that's Mary's move. She goes and leans on something and looks off in the distance. Yeah, so she's still feeling weird about going to the fertility doctor and not telling Raman and she doesn't know what to do. And in the meantime, while she's going through that journey, we cut to Christine,

chicken herself out in the mirror. She's like, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And breakfast. It's a nice spot for a mirror, isn't it? I'm like, don't brag about your mirror placement. So she's like, so let me see a photo of this cop-cha cop-cha.

Oh my god, she looks like me. He goes, I don't have any photos, but she has an Instagram She's like, oh my god, she's me Oh my god, that's like it in comment on it Oh my god, guys don't do that Guys don't like heart things and like say, looking great Oh my god, this is like, I'm gonna delete it I'm gonna delete it, that's not what a guy does

It's not what a guy does I'm like, obviously, like, Paragon of masculinity This is not what a guy does, it's not what a guy does. I'm like, obviously, like, Paragon of masculinity, it's not what a guy does. And Divina's like, do we need to use ghosters? Cause we're like terrified. Mary doesn't have to, but the rest of you do, yeah. So then, so then,

Krishel shows up and she's wearing this crazy dress. She looks like Google Maps with like traffic patterns turned on. I was like, oh, so it looks like there's a traffic jam on the 405. Oh, wait, no, that's just her dress. Yeah, she's dressed like a secretary in Mad Man with like a crazy pattern. And then did you notice when she came in, the music changed and she gets like this 50s happy music. It's like happy days music.

It's like happy days music. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, Anyway, let me just walk haplessly into here and oops almost knocked everything over That's what happens when you think about how in love you are with your husband She missed my speech Yeah, so guys I have big news. I'm horny. Oh also I'm having baby girl. I'm pretty strong having baby girl. What is pretty sure? Was it 50 50? No, 85% you idiot. 85% they can't tell just yet. They still have to got confirmation about the Venus. Well, is that mean it has a small small penis? Good have a small penis. Yeah, like bread.

Yeah, they said bread was 99% girl until he came out. And then they said he was 99% me. And then I was like, that's funny. But does that mean I'm 99% girl? And how they're like small penis, smart. And he's like, thanks, Heather. Thanks a lot, Heather. Yeah, it's good like, thanks, Heather. Thanks a lot, Heather. Yeah, it's what I mean.

Thanks, Heather. So now they start talking about divinas listing. And it's like, you know, we're walking away from that house, divina. We're walking away. Although it'll take a little while because it's a very busy intersection outside that driveway. But once we get clear street, we will walk away. He forgets that I have a broker's license. And'm like I stay with the screw because I like working with people

But I deserve a roast back So um mara's like if Mary had taken the listing the would you have given it as tough a time as the Vina? Huh? Huh? He's like oh well, I'm harder than I'm married than everyone. I mean look come on look how I'm always following her around with napkins and making sure there's foam surrounding her at all times guys. Look I even put up netting by the balcony so she wouldn't fall off. What?

Oh god that was close. See? Doesn't mean I'm favoriting her just means that I think about her all the time. You know? Yeah, so I give her more trouble. Oh my gosh, yeah, because she has more leastings and he's like, I give more listings to her because she produces more and they all start laughing.

And they're like, because she has more listings. So then, Krasho and Mary are talking about whether or not to tell her what I mean about the fertility doctor and she's like, I think that he'd be happy, you know, that you told him, you know, I think that he'd be, you know, he's so laid back and loving. Remember how warm and laid back he was about to come into your wedding? He is so chill. You know, like, here's how I like to think of things. Like, what would normal people do? You know, normal people might be nervous, you know,

to tell, and they might not tell, and that is them. But good people who are in perfect marriages would tell, and this is us. You understand what I'm saying? Anyway, I do have to say that you probably should tell them soon because according to my address, you're gonna have quite the traffic jam getting home tonight so better start early. Oh, your friend Nicole just waved high as she passed by.

Looks like there's a signal around my breast so you can enjoy the get on the road soon. Just caution there's something on the road ahead. Alright Mary. So, uh, so they go over to Romain who has basically lifted up the platter of cheese cubes and like shoveling them into his mouth. I'd babe. Yeah, actually no, he goes over to her. He goes over to Mary, which is important because they banter about that. Yeah, she's like, I was just coming over to you. He's like, oh, you're too much dance, I came through you. What is up my love?

Debaroni breath, Debaroni breath. Ooh. So I might have a little something to tell you, and I was going to do this on my own to figure out where I'm at, but basically what I have to tell you is oh Sorry, I just put my hand in a tomato hold on one second. Do we have a little napkin? You're going 67 the speed limit is 65 Mary Mary

There's there's a hazard ahead Mary, Mary, there's a hazard ahead. The right lady. So I go tomorrow to find out my fertility and like, how quickly I need to freeze my eggs and he hugs her. It's like, where are you smiling? It's like, cheese. Go cheese, in total cubes of cheese.

This one has all this in anything. I'm not actually hugging you. It's just I have to put my arms around you to get access to pepperoni slice. So he tells us I want kids. I come from family close together family. Family important. I appreciate or see options of family. And then he just gives that blank caveman stair. Yes. So now the girls are like talking about Jason's favoritism. And Davina's like, well, I mean, at least like I brought my own listing, you know, you know, what I'm saying. And he's just like, he's just jealous because it's like the biggest listing in history

of historians. And Maya's like, yeah, there's eagle. He doesn't want to waste time, but sometimes they say on the market two years, and then somebody low balls, and then they say, okay, I take it. I take it. You know what, I'll take it. Are you watching porn, no? Dog video. God, cut me again, Davina.

Cut me again. Put away the dog video. Oh, please. The dog video. So sexy sounding, and then it's just dog. So then they're talking about Adnan and Christine's like, yeah, he's pretty scary. He's pretty scary. Like before we left, he made Christian wrestler alligator in a pit down below the living room and the feeden win. Then, then, Christian just die.

So he's scared. I talked over him and the floor opened up and I was sucked down into it and his son was down there practicing chess. How do you get out of here you little fucker? So Jason's like you know I feel like we spend a lot of energy on your $75 million listing. That's a lot of energy on your $75 million listing. That's a lot. I mean, you know, you know, you need to be spending energy on going to my $40 million

listing that's been sitting in the hills for a year and a half and us just making trips over and over again as an office and having parties there. You're spending too much energy. So, can we talk privately, Jason, so they go over to the couch and you say, it's not right. It's long because it's not about the $75 million house. Okay, look, it's not enough time. We need more time.

We need more time with it. And then all the other girls start creeping towards the couch to listen. Yeah. He's like, we're never going to sell that. We're never going to sell that, especially because I keep telling everyone around town that it's overpriced and that a better deal is my 40 million dollar listing

Okay, you were never gonna sell that And she's like but nobody even knows about this listing. He's like, it's been into LA times It's been in Forbes everybody knows about it is they don't want to pay that much Yeah, but um, but a lot of brokers don't know about it So, you know, I think like that's that's the issue because it turns out a lot of brokers don't know about it. So, you know, I think like that's the issue because it turns out a lot of brokers don't actually read newspapers. So...

What if we brought a bunch of homeless people in there just seeing a query is from hair? Yeah. Yeah. What if they, we had a children's choir of homeless people and they said saying put a little love in your life by Annie Lanx and Al Green except they're all Annie Lanx. So Christine all the girls are there now. He's like, what do you think you're sneaking up? Let me just come over then if you're trying to listen. So they're all there now. And Christine starts opining. She's like, well, but I think it's the most important thing in business as relationships. And she's like, and even if this home doesn't sell, she at least has something and then

to be like, yeah, exactly. Shut the fuck up. Well, I'm talking okay, shut the fuck up. Relations'm talking okay shut the fuck up Relationships okay the fact that she has him as a friend and as a confidant is in and out of itself Something that should be respected how this like did she just say in and out of itself. Oh my god It's bad when Heather is correcting you know Yeah, without this a smart one sounds like they're in cahoots And Christine's like yeah, my last thing with divina didn't goes pond, but I don't agree with Jason and divina's my bitch So I'm gonna stand up for her. Yeah, and he's still like Jason's whole thing is you got to know went to walk away and respect your time So then

Brett is Brett's like I don't know. I'm sort of with Christina on this one. I don't know and to be nice like yeah What about the 44 million dollar thing that you have what about that? Well, it's price well. It's price well. It's gonna sell It's price well Mary's like um yeah, um I agree They're like of course you agree with him Mary Well, well, no, yeah exactly. I'm I was like I think it's a little overpriced 44 million I'm you know, I'm being nice. I'm being nice and a little horny. Okay, a little horny and nice At the Venus like you have any offers. He's like no, but I've made my reputation. I will price things

I will ma! Hey guys, you know what? I wanna call Jason today. God, he's so fairly priced. Ha ha. All right, you know, that's one thing about Jason Oppenheim. He is well priced with his business. Oh, on his prices.

His prices are well and that furniture has in his private collection. So, D'Vina's like, so, Christine's like, but it's about potential. It's about potential of what she could do with Dr. Evil. Listen, Julian Assange has lots of information on people, all right?

All right, let me just say something here as the most successful agent here with the best furniture in the entire world. Okay, can I just say something? Am I just like, Bingo is his name, I was a great poono, I love it, you should watch it, it's so sexy. Anyway, Jason has an ego and he has to be the biggest agent here, but he'll never be the biggest agent here. If you know what I'm saying, huh? Huh?

And Mary tries to defend him, and I was like, of course, and Divina's all mad. Of course you're defending him. And Mary's like, well, I mean, look, I'm not defending him by saying that he can be a dick sometimes, because sometimes he can be a dick. So there I said it not defending him Yeah, and so Jason's like I have to be responsible for your time even if you won't be I have to be responsible for It's over it's all over Yeah, he's like you know what I hate this I hate it. I hate it so much mind me the biggest one mind's the biggest one in the firm

So he can't so Savannah's deal and then's like, I'm gonna walk away right now. And she walks off. Yeah. And then she gets another ballad. I'll be sleeping with one eye slightly open. These skies across my heart. Wow, there's like a whole music department just dedicated to shitting on Davina. I know Poor Davina. I don't know. I'm still team Davina everyone says like, oh, you're gonna hate Davina Like if you haven't hated her already, you're gonna hate her so much. I'm like, I love Davina. I can't help it I can't help it. I can't help it. I don't hate Davina yet. I don't hate Davina. Yeah, whatever happens Punching bag of this whole show. She just gets like, she's just around.

I just wish she would like stand up for herself with Ednon. Like I like how Christine dealt with Ednon. Yes. I don't like that she's so whimpery with him. You know, I get that he's intimidating, but you can't just let him push you around. She's put too many eggs in that basket. She has to realize there are other clients.

There are other clients. Don't let Adnon be the end all be all. He's the odd non all be all and he sucks and you should say, you know what? Your house is expensive and you suck and your hair style stupid and your wife is evil. Be careful poison you someday. And you suck at jazz. You're playing jazz while I'm playing checkers. That's not how that goes. No, I'll be fissure.

And that brings us to the end of selling sunset, everybody. Great show. Endless the entertain. There's a new show coming out on Netflix called Million Dollar Beach Home or something like that. So we'll probably have to check that out too on Selling Sunset's done because now we're all on this fancy real estate kick but I have a hard time believe you could even compete with this wonderful, wonderful show. Yeah, well time will tell, won't it? In the meantime we'll be back tomorrow with Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Go get your face masks over at crappensmerch.com,

doing that, and get your bonus episodes over on L by three on. And we'll talk to you next time, guys. Bye, everyone. Bye. Hey, prime members. You can listen to Watch Your Crappens, add free on Amazon Music.

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