Watch What Crappens - Shahs: Burden of Spoof (texts)

Episode Date: June 9, 2021

This week on Shahs of Sunset, Mike deflects from his infidelity by accusing Reza and GG of creating "spoof texts" in the pursuit of sabotaging his very special love with Paulina (which was previously sabotaged by Mike's own real texts, but that's neither here nor there). It's all the usual messiness, and we love it.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watch What Crapins Add Free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello and welcome to WatcherCrapins, a podcast, but all that crap we just love to watch on Bravo Television. I'm Ben Mandelker, you can also find me on the game brain podcast I was on this week's episode talking about the wonderful board game called nations so if you care about that at all

go check out game brain if you don't care that's okay because you can just hang out here with me and my best friend Ronnie Karam what's going on Ronnie? Well, happy and how's everything? I'm doing good. Great, wonderful, good, glad to hear it. I'm great. I made some buns yesterday and it was really fun. It took a long time. And my oven did that thing where, well, first, I preheated the oven for 400 degrees as

per the instructions. And then, when it came time to put the buns in the oven, the oven wasn't warm at all. It actually turned on. And so then, I had to heat it up to 400 and then it went up to 425 and I didn't realize. And so I overbaked my buns and on top of that, they were also overproved because they had to prove longer while the oven was was was preheating. So it was a very stressful time and thank you in advance for your sympathies. I'm surprised you didn't save that speech for your birthday dinner. Yeah. That was a real hum bigger journey. It was a journey and I realized the moment I started the journey on this podcast, I never

should have started it. But I was like, well, I've already introduced the idea that there were buns. So Mazwaj was told everyone would happen. Followed three with those buns, Bane. Well, listen, I've been making buns for months now. They're just getting bigger and bigger. They've taken a lot of work. They've definitely had time to prove. Here they are, everybody. Just be glad this is only an audio podcast today.

Because they are out in full force, people. Buns in the oven, which is what Shaz of Sunset could be called sometimes, because there are a lot of buns, and there's a lot of ovens. So that's what we're talking about today. We're talking about Shah's sunset and the episode opens up with the previous leaves and they're so shady. This is one of the shadiest shows in terms of post production, in terms of how they treat their talent. I mean, they are.

We've heard over the years of the Bravo Wink, which is this idea that the show is sort of winking at the audience. Like, yes, we know these people are as ridiculous. We know they're ridiculous, too. And Shaz's sonset does not have the Bravo Wink. It has the Bravo point and laugh. It's basically the Bravo Reza. Look at this. Look at this idiot right here. Look audience. Look. Yeah, I think Shaw's employees the Bravo wedgie. You know, like they don't even hide it. They're like,

aha, we spoofed your phone. And now they don't. You know, it's like just pulling up your underwear right on TV. I mean, Mike's the whole thing of Mike and just his butt Wedgie, I mean not his butt wedgie his butt crack hanging out the whole time Is his wedgie ready but is yeah, it's all it's all the bravo wedgie And so the episode opens previously and you see Mike in his interview saying those messages were a Thousand percent see Mike in his interview saying, those messages were a thousand percent fake. And then I'm immediately custom saying, I put up an inappropriate text message with a female.

And I thought, I took an inappropriate text message with a female, okay. Mike is mayor. So we start with that. Or Mike is giving his speech, everybody. He's like, okay, everybody. So there I did it. And Paulina, I wanted to take this time to apologize to you because I was honest and you know what I fucked up and it was a moment of weakness and I almost lost the most important person in my life and I felt like

shit the past few days you know what it was eating me up and you Palina to you to Palina I want to apologize I want to apologize. I want to apologize. Because we overcame it. And I promise it will never happen again. So that's my honesty. Thanks for coming guys. Thanks for coming. That's my honesty. And then some people actually clap. Palina!

Palina does. What are you clapping for? He framed it. He framed it in a way that made seem like he was the victim of his own impulses. Yes. And he framed it as if it was personal growth. And you know, he's like, you know what, it was eating me alive.

Like, oh, let me, let me scoop the violin. I'm sorry that your infidelity was eating you alive. That's my honesty. And that's my honesty. And then he got the absolute dish rag that she is What the fuck are you talking about? You didn't just sing you a song at your engagement party, you know what I mean? Oh my goodness, Shadow.

So then Michael's and you know what? I love you guys and because of that I want to be honest about everything that's been going on the last couple of weeks in my life. Okay? And Gigi, keep your smiles, baby. Okay? I hope you keep your smiles because I'm going to drop something on you. And it's not just poop. Okay?

Because I do have to poop. Okay? There's a snake in this group that is trying to ruin my relationship with Paulina. So this is what happened. I thought you were a snake. Is the snake in this group? Your snake, your penis, is the snake. The actual snake. The actual snake.

The actual snake. So we started saying, well, I started getting these random text messages, fucking with me. And I'm like, who is this? Is this Vladimir Putin? Hacking my phone again? Who is this? Who is this?

And then she's like, it's so-and-so. And then I'm like, you know me so well. I go, stop texting me right this minute, but also like maybe send me your titties. I don't know. And then I swear on my mother's life, on my mother's life, I know you're confused. But let me explain what happened next.

We're just staring at him like, what is this? What is the story he's telling? Yeah, it's like, okay. The first hacking was alive, but now there's a second, there's now a second webbing like internet, like sabotage happening. Yeah. So he tells us, I know you're confused. So let me explain. Paulina has access to my high cloud. And then it comes up on the screen.

It says, Mike's real messages, things Mike actually said. Okay. So I just screenshot these. Okay. Baby off. This is Rhonda. I don't know who you are. Please stop texting me. You know me so well. You have even been inside me. Baby, off.

Why so angry? Please leave me alone. Is this Mike? No. So these are these. These are these very damning texts. Yeah. So by the way, I got a quote, quotes, I got, I got a text message like this.

By the way, did I tell you this, this happened last week? I got a text message from a number I did not know that said, hey, Ben, long time no speak. And I was like, who the fuck is this? So of course, I'm like, it's probably some, you know, person from like grinder past, right? But I was like, I don't know who this is. And, and so I was like, so curious. It's more like, I just wanna know who is doing this.

Who is this person? Who just thinks that they can tax after all these years. And thinks I'm just gonna be like, oh, hi, you know, but of course, I wanna say oh, hi, because I wanna find out who it is. So then I'm like, I'm not gonna say oh, hi because why like, because then I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to be like my cure, you know, but I'm just like curious to know who it is. So I get this text message. So then, I'm like, hi, you know what? I'm thinking about making

buns this weekend. Do you guys have any tips for buns that might be a little crusty? So what I did instead was I looked up the number, I did a reverse search and I came up and I found it said like it's most likely this person and I was like I don't know who that person is but then the person in the world it said like potential relatives and I was like oh that guy, that guy who was a total catfish and he was always hitting me up nonstop and he always from a new number and I was like really after like eight years out of nowhere this guy that like hits me up again.

So then I was happy because I didn't, I find I who it was and I have to write it back and I never wrote the guy back. But then part of me really wants them to write again because I've decided that if you writes again, you know what I'm gonna respond with? I'm gonna say, stop texting my daughter. And see what happens.

That's my long way of saying that's what Mike should have done. I got one this week that was like my pussy needs you. And I looked at it and I was like, why is this a group text? This is so rude, am I supposed to be flattered? This there's like five other people on this text. Rhett, my pussy needs you. And I know that's a damn lie.

That's about to say. A lot of times someone needs like the cancer. Yeah. Or has never ever been a pussy that has needed me. And that I can guarantee you. So anyway, Mike is like, yeah, so I'm getting these random text messages. And you know, so I say, who's this? And she goes, it's so and so. And you know me so well.

And I go, stop texting me. This is on my mother's life, guys. It's on my mother's life. Stop texting my daughter. So soon after I get all these text messages and I look into it, I look into it, guys. and they're from a spoof app And what the spoof app does is they let you spoof messages So you never really know who sent them spoofing them because if they're spoof, they're not real. Okay, why does thank you Why does Mike suddenly sound like a 65 year old person like oh well, you know Like I do a blog sometimes like I do lots of blogs and, you know, but you have to look out for spoof apps, you know? Like, what the people don't talk like this? It just sounds like everyone's

parent trying to talk about the internet, you know? Yeah, and Mike's like, this same, I want to tell the truth because I want to be set free. Okay, Sean 832, like shot on John Bible, Bible, shot. I love when a shot person quotes the Bible. Oh, I was like, well, I just want to, the truth, I set you free, guys. Okay. Also free, spoof apps. Okay. You have to look at the gizas.

Because they can open up your eye cloud and give you access and you know hackers, you know, Jesus was really just a woman named Ronda who wanted to show me her boobies. Okay. That's true. It's a spoof app. So he's like, yeah, this person, whoever this person is, they know that Paulina has access to my eye cloud and would see them and is ultimately trying to ruin my relationship. Yeah, I'm sure that's. It could have also just been a producer trying to get content for the show.

I don't know, just putting that one out there too. So Mike's like so, Mike's like, I'm sorry to betray your trust, Reza, but Reza reached out to me and said it was you, GG. Okay, and he dropped that on me and swore me the secrecy, and I apologize. I apologize that I could not keep that secret. I swear on my mother's life! Let me speak! Let me speak! You spoke enough, let me speak!

Let me speak! No, no, no, no! Let me speak. Let me speak. You spoke enough. Let me speak. Let me speak. No, no, no, no. And they just do that to the end. That's just in the background. No, because you know what? If he gets to speak right now, he's going to try and fuck me up with his words. And so Ressa is up in his stupid robe.

And Mike's yelling, be real, be real. And Gigi's like, I would like some clarity right now. And Russ is like, red, I'm being real, I'm so hot, I'm so hot. So he just like drops his rope. Congratulations on losing seven pounds. Keep your fucking clothes on, sir. Stop.

Stop with this like being naked in every scene. I know that we all do it when we lose two pounds. Okay, again, congrats to you. Don't need to see that. Okay, that's not your body positive, but the problem is that we're still resunnegative. So, you know, so, you're starting.

Your stars are not aligning. Your body positive stars are just not aligning right now with your karma. Put your robot. Listen, he's admitting about tasting women and fucking them in the ass, and we're talking about me and go nessa And then Paulina this this this one Paulina This this penguin with a face full of makeup says

Sorry, that's true. Okay, we'll put a bow tie on her and send her to the circus. She's like, she's basically like a phone pole that somebody's turned a donut shaped, you know, floaty over. So she's like, no, no, no, Reza, I'm sorry, no, no. He did admit to those text messages that were sent and were they inappropriate? 1,000 fucking percent.

And let me tell you, from my sake, I cannot hear it again. I'm like, why are you getting mad at Reza? Like, don't you understand that what Mike did is 10 times worse than what Reza may have done or GG may have done or what anyone may have done? Why is, this is a case where Reza is actually totally correct, even if he's lying or telling the truth,

he's totally correct. That Mike is the one who was totally being inappropriate. Resa is 100% guilty. Okay, you can see it, Resa. You can see Resa, he's cracking up. He's laughing. No, no, no. So he's laughing, waiting for everybody to see that it's funny.

That's how it starts. But then when they don't see it's funny, he does his reza life face. I mean, anybody who's watched his show just knows it. Reza did it. And also they sound, they sound just like reza. Don't they? This is Ronda. You know me so well.

You have been inside me. Ha ha. Oh my god. Maybe it was adding. Bitch be like. Bitch be like. Bitch be like... Bitch be like... Spoof in...

Yeah... Bitch be like watching the naked garnet just like a spoof, you know? Bitch be like, branda touch my boobies! Uh, so Gigi is now yelling and she's like, you are creating, saying, I'm creating the problem? I'm saying, you know, go do more of it. Come on. And Mike's like, then why is Resa telling me that you're texting me those things?

And she's like, maybe he's right. I mean, I don't know. What I'm telling you is I'm on the side of you having sex with as many strangers as possible. All right. He goes, listen, I'm just telling you what he told me, you know, and so did the producer, the producer asked Resa, did you tell Mike that Golnasa sent spoof messages?

And Ressa goes, Absolutely not. I never said Golnasa sent any spoof messages. Which, there's like, Total Ressolife face. He totally has Ressolife face. He's not a live-res, bottom lip, you know. Yeah, and not only that, like he seems he's so deliberate with his words that you know,

he's gonna say, well, I said that Gonesa never sent in his proof messages, but what I said is, but she did typed them out and then I sent them. That's all you know, it's gonna be some technicality like that. And you know, he's lying because he's wearing the Lisa Rene slash Jen Shaw firm suit Yes Mueller I'm sorry someone's at my door. Let me see who it Mueller has an issue

I'm expecting like three Amazon packages today. I'm so excited You are what do you get it? Oh god it's someone's getting a cap from billabong billabong You going skiing? Hey there. What's going on? Hey girl. I love when Ronnie gets pro voice for the delivery people. I'm sorry, say it again. Hey bro, what's going on?

Then again, I do that too. Like literally anytime I'm around shape, people are like, hey man, what's up? I have to go answer this. I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm just still talking to the podcast listeners. I'm just having my monologue, my Lily Tomlin,

one woman show here where I talk about code switching amongst us Gays. But I am actually very much a code switcher, and I don't even try to. I code switch around gay people too. Like when I'm around gay people, I'm like, hey girl, what's going on? But I don't know, I don't know why I do that,

but that's just one of the many glorious facets of being gay. I feel like Riding's gonna cut this out anyway, but I'm really enjoying my monologue, and I'm really enjoying my iced coffee today too. I made a really, really good batch of iced coffee. I'm really into it. There's all these little habits I picked up on in quarantine where I kind of do it on things now because I didn't have anything else to do. So one of the things I do is now I don't even more so on my iced coffee. I have decided. I've made a, I've found some beans that are from Latin America. Oh, no problem.

I was just having a monologue with the listeners. I wasn't sure if we were going to edit this out or not. So I forget I would just keep talking and get people to listen to. Sorry. It was a broad name, Brett, who had just moved in across the street. And accidentally knocked my mailbox over with his U-Haul. Isn't that a federal crime? Or is it just if you opened it? I have no will see when the police gets here. They have been called.

He has spoofed your mailbox. Yeah, at least he admitted it. He's like, hello, my name is Brett from across the street. I have to give a speech. It was me who did that to your mailbox. I'm so sorry. Paulina, I'm sorry. I ran over Rani's mailbox. I have to be honest.

Oh God. Okay. So Reza in his Lee Serena suit saying, oh, and also his big stupid neck. Reza makes me crazy. Reza, Reza, Reza. So Reza is a mic. It meets the fact that you said, Goliensia sent spoof messages, which is like the funniest phrase ever. The fact that he's saying that so angrily. And Resa says, well, he wants me to,

he wants to make me look bad. He's playing a cover-up game right now, which I think both are correct. Mike is playing cover-up and Resa did do these things and they're just such a disaster together, right? But I think if I'm still on Resa's side about this, even though, I mean, I just, I also think that Mike is assigning a little bit too much, um, self-importance to these quote unquote spoof messages, because in Mike's eyes, oh, he's trying to destroy everything that I've done. I'm like, no, Residus, fucking with you because you're easy to fuck with. That's what I think it is. Just fuck the number. Like, why are you engaging? You know what I mean? It's so fucking Mike, because all he has to do is block the number, but instead he's engaging

with it, hoping to get booby shots. Also, Mike, you went against Resil last year. You brought up his husband cheating on him with the Jenga, the Nika Jenga games. That was you who encouraged Destiny to bring it up. And then Destiny spent the rest of the season trying to blame MJ for doing it, but whoever talked her into doing it, it was you and Destiny who did it. So if you think that you're going to come on this year and Rezl is not going to try and ruin your fucking life, what show have you been on? Right. Exactly.

But I'm team Mike's show because Reza is a monster. He does as a monster, but of course he did this. Reza is a monster, but I do think that Mike does this all the time. And then he sort of, he has some, you know, faux humble speech about his honesty and how he's growing. and he never grows and Everyone has to like deal with this and he lies to everyone and he lashes out at everyone I think it's actually pretty bad behavior and so I actually don't want to I don't want to like take the gas off of Mike and his gaslighting. I think it's pretty bad too. No, they're but they're all terrible. This is this is the shots like

We're not picking who's the better person. They're all terrible. This is the shots. We're not picking who's the better person. They're all horrible human beings. I do think that Resa totally did this. And it's so worth it to be like, GG did it because he thinks Mike's not going to want to fuck with GG. I don't think GG knows how to find and use a spoof app. you ask me to be totally totally fair. Yeah, Gigi is totally the one to call and you know, like, um, listen, I'm about to fire up on your office. This is me Gigi. Yeah, when I do it, you'll know it's me bitch. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert-experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong, what would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll

feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. Uh, some mics like, admit that you said it, you want to make me look bad. It's like you're very too faced And we have so many problems in this group Because of you, so sit down and tell the truth

I'm asking Reza, I'm gonna get another speech I would like Reza to tell the truth And probably this is the back like Pfft Pfft And Reza is just screaming, you are a cheater You are a clown, you're 50 years old And you have nothing

He's like, oh really? Who are you texting about fucking in the ass Who are you texting about fucking in the end and Paulina goes Ressa? Where over that Ressa, please not again like wait you're over You're over that. I mean I had it first of all I don't believe you're over that but also like that is the bigger crime here And now you're gonna act as if Resa is harping on something minor, like come on, Paulina. Like you were about to have to

just look at the ticket to Shut Up Mountain. But also since when does Resa care about partners calling people or texting people about fucking in the ass? That was literally your storyline last year. Can we all just step off? Well, I think it's that Mike is going to great links saying how he was the victim of a global conspiracy to hack his phone And then they all have to sit there and put up with it and then he lashes out at everyone, you know, and so I think it's that's the frustration

but in either way so now Reza goes and talks with GG and He says like you know what Mike doesn't want to lose Paulina and last time he ended up losing Jessica So like what do you want me to say? Um, I like to point out that last time when he left Jessica, you were also a pretty big part of that. Yes. There's a very big part of that. I mean, that was all Mike's actions, but you were still a large part of that. Cut your all terrible people. So they were terrible terrible terrible people and then Shervin is like well All of us has faults and he stood there like a man and owned it and how about the fact that Gul Nessa has been spoofing these texts

I'm like Shervin. I this is what I hate about what Mike did this whole he stood there like a man and owned it after he Spent several weeks Making these stories and getting mad at people who didn't believe him. So don't give me this thing like he stood there like a man and owned it. He actually barely owned it. He just finally was cornered and could not deny it any longer. Yeah.

And he's like, if Gigi did that, then she's wrong. And he was like, you know what? It's very plausible that Gigi's involved because her relationship with Pauline is suspect in the first place. I mean, why would you be friends with the woman who's now with a man that may or may not have been inside you in Turkey? I mean, that in itself is it? Is it really suspicious? Like, if your friends with somebody that your ex one time had sex with, I don't think, or your current. I don't know.

Well, I think it's, maybe it's a gay thing. I don't, I think Neema's ridiculous. Yeah, well, it's just not brand loyalty. So then Reza says, You know what? I'm sick of him. I'm sick of him. He's the biggest victim bitch in the world.

Oh, can we cue the footage of Reza crying from last episode? I still haven't been to MJ's house to see baby Chams. Yeah, but Reza's just, I mean, he's just ranting like a guilty person, you know? He's like, you know, well, I don't even give a fuck. And Sonny's like, yeah, I'm leaving. Yeah, I'm too good for this. Okay, I'm sorry.

Bye. So Reza's like, he literally sat and told us in front of his girlfriend that she's texting some girl about fucking her in the ass. And he wants to talk about what? Spoof texting. You know what? Talk about the ones when you're talking about the other ones when you're fucking in the

ass of the people that you're talking about fucking in the ass. That's what you need to talk about for us. Ask fucking. Resa, Resa, Resa, June. Okay. You are a pathological liar You have taken this whole thing You are a pathological liar

Hold on, I have a call from the NSA Because I did have those hackers From Russia on my phone One moment You are a pathological liar though Who were you texting? See how he's deflecting Look at him deflect

I'm leaving He's like, oh, oh, Raza So, Raza is so guilty I love it That's guilty Gu guilt right there. Yeah. So, Gigi is like, Mike, just tell me about this conversation. And he's like, listen, I'm telling you on my life.

I would swirl my mother's life, but she just probably passed away from my last swearing on her life. Or Raza's my, you know, every mother on this show is going to be dead soon because we keep swearing on their lives. And we're all fucking liars. Okay. So, I'm going to tell you on my life, okay? He called me at night and I know this because it was eight o'clock, okay?

And I said, I'm getting these proof messages. Is it you? Is it you? And he said, Mike, you keep fucking up. And I said, you better tell me who it is because it's fucking me up. And he said, it's Gigi, but I'll kill you if you tell anybody. And Gigi is like, it's not me.

And now GG is disappointed in Resnow. Now GG, talk about, I mean, this talk about victims. If GG finally sees an opening where she can make herself a victim this season, so she's just like, wow, I'm so disappointed in Resnow. It makes me wonder, has he been lying about our whole friendship? Did he just become friends with me because he was spurned from the rest of the group and had no one else to turn to? Was that

all I was used for? Yes, Gigi. Yes, it's called Watch Your Show and you'd figure it out a lot faster. Yeah, but also Gigi's whole spin into the victim is hilarious too. She said, everybody has come for me at all times in this group. Like, I've never just found it. I've never just felt like part of the group. Maybe because you're threatening to fucking stab everybody all the time. Maybe because you're irrational and ridiculous and totally irresponsible at all times

and drop everyone nuts. So then Reza is in there throwing his clothes in the bag shirtless of course and Destiny's like what are you doing? She's like first thing in the morning. Look at me I'm pointing it by watch so you understand I'm talking about time. I'm out of here. I'm never going to look back.

You're an uncomfortable bitch. Mike makes you a little gay. You know, that's why I was so cluttered. You guys, this is why I was so cluttered the past two days. I was trying to keep this under wraps. I'm sort of like my own victim. I think I can't do it anymore. I cannot keep my mind is cluttered.

Clajored with this huge burden of knowing that Reza was pretending to be Gigi, making spoof texts to me, which are different from the texts that I did actually write to the other girls. Like, what a burden. So then the Nima is like, so Nima is like, oh, this is pretty cool. So we're all just gonna make ourselves victims. Okay, I'll try it.

You know, my issue is that you, you know, you lied to me, bro. Dude, my dude, you lied to me. And like, that wasn't cool. And then we see it two days ago, my being why don't you believe me like you should be like I believe you might you're my best friend you should believe me on it like all the way like how do you not believe me you're such an asshole you do not believe your best friend how do you not believe your best friend and I might see that's that's that's why I'm like this is why Mike also sucks because he is may I mean

he's making Neima actively guilty. Nima and making Nima feel like a shitty, shitty friend while he knows all along that he's lying. Well, I think that's his code for like we're friends and why are you bringing the shit up on TV over and over again? I'm telling you it's my friend, I didn't do it. I want to why are you questioning me about this shit?

But it's a shot as you can't do that. And Nima's like, you lied to my face. And I don't want friends like that. I mean, you know what? I just, I don't need friends like that. And he's like, listen, we went through a rough patch and then London comes in. And he's like, Mike, here's what I see, Mike.

Mike, I see that you love this woman very much. I see it. And she loves you. No one stands in a plot a speech like that Mike she does she loves you to Mike and he's like thank you. Thank you for that lady I don't really know yet. Thank you very much London's really going downhill on my book the first episode I was like oh my god. She's great and now I'm just seeing that she kind of just says kiss ass things to people Like what is she doing? Yeah, she sees how much he loves her. What are you talking about?

What is she talking about? She sees how much he loves her. What is she talking about? Well, I don't know, but I think she's really funny. She's like just that total hippie, hippie, who's trying to make everything okay at all times, a correct way up. So, Rens is like, you know, he's still packing. So he's yelling at Destiny.

He's like, this path is the Quasty-Ace Jessica path. This path leads to divorce, and it leads to cheating. I'm not just pleased, but I'm a shirt. And how I ended up being a bad guy at a birthday dinner when the cheater admitted to cheating is beyond me. That is beyond me. And then you just start coctangling all over the place. It's like trying to wet his tongue as much as he can.

Yeah, he, I mean, he is right. How resby he and the bad guy, although he didn't do it himself any favors by getting up and then yelling back and then leaving. I mean, he's, he could have just been like, no. Or he should have said, it's true. I did say that he could have thrown GG under the bus. I don't know what it was, but he, whatever it was,

he did not help his own situation. So, so, so then it's next morning, and this is where we see Mike's butt crack, I don't know what it was, but he whatever it was he did not help his own situation. So so So then it's next morning and this is where we see Mike's butt crack Which they're always gonna give a to us whenever they can and we see people in bed and guess what? Reza is gone and Gigi is like I Couldn't even sleep last night bra. I couldn't even sleep. You know, I just I can't trust anyone here I mean I feel like I'm back to where I was a few years ago. Relaxed GG, relax for crying out loud.

This is the most, this is the most idiotic rumor. And no one believes, no one believes that you did this. And so stop trying to turn like make it seem like you are, you know, freaking Kaleesi trying to figure out who in her court has betrayed her and her family. I don't, I don't not believe that there's a situation, there's a possibility that they could have been on the phone, like, oh, now let's fuck with him and just keep sending him messages and see if he'll send us a stick. They're probably were high and doing it for fun. But I'm just saying it's like, he probably said, don't you fucking tell anybody that we're doing this, she said you better not tell anybody,

but then he broke code by blaming her and not take. I mean, there's so many possibilities on the show, aren't there? There are, but she's really, she should just be like, oh, this is stupid, whatever, I've got more things. Like, this is not something that should even

phase a normal person, but she has now seen it as a way to make herself, you know, the victim in this whole stupid thing, right? So she's like, letting my car down. And last night, that was a wake up call. That was a wake up call because she basically wants people to say, no, jeez, we love you. Let your guard down. We love this version of you. But everyone's just like, okay, fine. Yeah.

So she's like, I got flashes of the past five years where I can't trust anyone. And then we see clips of how Gigi is just so alone. But it's really, I mean, she does have some good points because these people are so mean to each other. You know, it's like when MJ and Reza called, what was her, Shalom's ex-wife for whatever to come to that party? You know, we see all clips of stuff like that. And she's like, and now I'm upset because he's leaving. And it's like, you're leaving because you're

accused of talking shit about me. Like, I'm supposed to be the one leaving. Right? Yeah. And Mike's like, well, because he knew this would happen this morning, okay? And so we find out that Resil left it to in the morning. And Mike says, you know what? I want to be a hundred with you, okay? Did I think it was you? Maybe, maybe I did. And she's like, well, I didn't do it.

I didn't do it. And then she again, it's like, last night was a bit of a wake up call. It's a bit of a wake up call. I trusted too much. I loved you hard. And then did you see MJ smiling and then stopping herself at this? I totally saw that. She was eating this up. MJ is loving this. So London walks into the kitchen. It's the next morning now. So London, oh no, it's already the next morning I guess. So London comes in the kitchen just holding a cake from her room, which I think is funny. It's like my kind of girl. She went to sleep with a slice of cake. So I didn't even eat it. She didn't

even eat it. She just wanted to know it was there by her side. So she comes in and Mike's like, we've got to go because the kids are at home with a nanny who cannot handle them. So he's upset because that nanny, that nanny's been working overtime. Like, oh, I feel so bad for her. I'm just gonna, you know, we need to go home and then I have to take her home. You know, like, I just feel so bad for her.

She probably will need a massage, you know, luckily I know how to give her a massage. So I'll give her a massage with home. You know, yeah, we've got to go home and take care of nanny Randa, okay. Yeah. So then Shervin is leaving and he gives Mike a gift on the way out and we get to watch Destiny in her storyline for the season She's standing outside smoking a cigarette going Frankie. Oh my god. You went pp. Whoa Frankie. Thanks a nut

Drop pp. Wow. I know I was like, oh god bring back that possum, you know It was funny when Shervin left, because they were having a conversation and then Shervin just pokes his head and he's like, oh, guys, gotta go. And like, by Shervin and then you just see his car, like, ooh, and just like drive off. I just love the way they're kind of casting Shervin as the fans.

You know, like, remember last week when you showed up, he's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, which just... Yeah. That's how we cast himself, like remember last week when you show up, you're like, oh, it's true. That's how we cast himself, like complete with slick back hair. And every, yeah, that's always just, it's just serving. So Gigi and Destiny are talking outside, squealing over each other's rainbow sandals. And Destiny's like, I was trying to understand,

like what even happened? Because like I spoke to Reset today. It's like, I was trying to understand, like, what even happened? Because like, I spoke to a resident, eh? It's like one hour earlier. And he's like, it's only gonna get ugly because Mike is lying, he's fucking pathetic. And Gigi just doesn't like her name being dragged. She's like, I don't like my name being dragged. Like, I'm some plain-ass egg roll

that needs a lot of sauce. Like, you know what that happens? Like, when you have an egg roll and it's dry and it needs a lot of sauce, like, that ain't me. I feel like I'm being dumped. I was like, I hate that delicious metaphor because I want egg rolls so badly. Now, when she was describing, and she did the whole motion,

I was visualizing an egg roll and doing that, and I literally almost called up Panda Express. Well, I mean, ordered. Hello, Panda Express. This has been mentalelgar. I need an egg roll immediately. So inside Nima is talking to MJ and London and he's like, MJ, how do you feel about last night? And she's like, I'm really proud of Mikey. I mean, it's so proud of him for apologizing so soon. This is such a low bar for like for anyone like I'm just so impressed that this time when he cheated and lied, he fest up to it in three weeks as opposed to six months.

How is that? How is that anything that's like a, like a plowsworthy? Yeah. So then back with Eugene Destiny, she's like, do you believe, do you believe Reza told Mike, I'm the one doing the text and Destiny says, no, but you know what,

things aren't adding up. But then again, you know what, you know what my, you don't know what Mike said. You know what, I don't know what's going on. All I know is none of this can be resist fault or I'm off to show. I moved next door to him. So please don't try and ruin my life right now.

Okay. Do you mind if I put some spicy mustard on you real quick? I just love that. I worked well with the duck sauce. So. So, um, uh, so GG, GG is saying how she has a sense to this spot with Resa because he know they have there's been more damage in the past so we get more flashbacks of all the terrible things that Reza has done to GG Which many of them are terrible and of course we know montage will be complete

Without the time that Reza sent bouquets to everyone at that arc gallery opening and pretended to be GG And it was just really the most vile thing and then GG went running out and ran into Adam which then led to one of our favorite moments. Oh GG! GG stopped me with Pro's ad. She scratched me! You almost murdered my husband. So GG says, I've always been the ass of every fucking thing he's done, and it doesn't make sense at this time. And so, it doesn't make sense that I am this time too, you know? So, MJ believes also that Reza did it. And she says, you know, Reza's history

is that he goes for Mike, and he goes for the jugular, which we then see a montage of that to basically It's like look at all the times Resa has been awful over the years and you guys are still all friends with him And then are upset When he does something crazy like this like you guys know who your friends with right Yeah, and they just think he's the star of the show So they have to be friends with him to stay on the show and I guess he is you know every year He's trying to get someone canceled get someone off the show and they fall for it And this is what what you get. It's nice to see them all kind of turning though, you know, that's nice.

And then and J's like, I love this conversation. This is such a conversation about Mike. It's like, well, listen, I mean, Mikey, he may have lied about who he slept with, but he doesn't lie about other things. And they're like, yeah, he only lies about fucking. Otherwise, he's a totally honest person. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just that. Just a small thing. Small edge case, edge case about edging. So London says, you know, when you're worried

about losing someone, you go to any extreme, you know, and you'll hurt friends, et cetera. And Gigi's still on this whole thing about how, you know, she's really upset that, that Residus left, you know, she was accused of being a culprit in Residus left, so then London basically asks, like, well, who do you think sabotage her? Who do you think was doing this,

sending these texts, whatever? Because I have a pendulum that taps into my intuition and I'm really intuitive, just the way I could intuit that, that Mike loves just I mean loves Paulina I just call Paulina Jessica I'm like a real shot of sunset now and she's like no that's just a wiki board and she's like no that's like that's channeling spirits this is channeling universal energy guys okay so let's just do this okay look, look at this pendulum. You're gonna ask it a yes or no question. Okay. So circles for yes, lines for no. Did Mike, did

Reza send spoof texts? Did Mike, and it says yes. Wait, no, did mine says did he send peppers? That's what I read. I don't. I'm trying to figure out the complimentary basket of peppers and a high Mexico Blano. I've been I've been screwed by auto correct again. Did did resist. No, the first question was did Mike send inappropriate text to other women? And so the pendulum says yes. And then oh here's where you got pepper from. Did he stick his pipito in another woman? I go, no. Oh god and I'm just like this is like NASA science. Did Golnasa do the spoof texting? And it's immediate yes it just starts swinging and

GD's like wait a little like a carnival ride it's like the swings Like you this It's like not it's just not even a question it swings so hard the the glass on the pendulum swings up and just writes a big Y on the window like yeah It turns out that's why Jay frog that's why. And that's why, and that's why, and that's why, and that's why I believe it, because a pendulum set it.

So I do believe Gigi was involved now. Thanks, pendulum. Mm hmm. Yeah, I, the pendulums don't lie. Pinchums only lie about having sex, and luckily, the pendulum is very rarely have sex,

so it's pretty much always honest. Yeah. So Gigi's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, because you asked and it took like 10 minutes to do your answer, and then this one, the answer so fast, and she's like, yes, that's exactly right. And so Gigi's like, okay, she's moving it, she's moving it. This never happened. I did not partake in anything about texts, which also that wording GG. So what's going on here? The very specific wording. And then, oh, I think that this is when Shervin actually left, because I wrote down

Shervin has to go. But I like the idea that Shervin left, and then came back, was like, hey guys, I'm just gonna go again. Bye. Wait, but. God, I'll pay the speed limit though. So then MJ and GG have a talk by the pool. And there's of course a champagne bottle floating in the pool because it's

shots. Yeah. So MJ is like, wow. So look at me sitting down, Chris crossed apple sauce. This is crazy. What do they call this yoga? GG goes looks like sitting to me She's like I will not give you yoga credit So that is the hardest move in yoga is sitting down telling you it's hardest fuck just they're like just sit there No, I can't without a back. What are you fucking crazy? Where's the recliner on the floor? Can I tell you something? This is at the risk of sounding a little insufferable. Yesterday I did a Tabata ride on my little peloton.

I didn't know what Tabata was. I actually thought it was like a music thing, whatever. It was like a horrible bread. Yeah, like it's worse than Tabata, it's Tabata. So I was like, oh, Tabata, I don't know. If you ever see something that says Tabata, run in the other direction. It was literally like the Babadook of physical fitness.

It was for 30 minutes, 20 seconds of exertion, followed by 10 seconds of rest, 20 seconds 10. It was literal torture. So I'm just, because the yoga thing made me think of that. So this is just a PSA. Stay away from all things that say to Bada, never do them. Never ever ever ever ever ever do them. Or standing up. I can really walk today because I cooked two days ago and stood in the kitchen for maybe three hours. Yeah, I like cert. Okay. I'm atrophied muscles. Yeah, it's hard. Jesus. It's hard. I'm feeling MJ. She's like sitting down, wow, I'm like a yogi right now.

So I know that I've hurt you and I've been a dick and I regret a lot of the mistakes I've made by being hurtful and insensitive, okay? And I just want you to know that when I think about you, I remember all the good shit. That's what MJ says to Gigi. And Gigi, I mean, this is just the usual thing. They're kind of just like talking about. It's where MJ is trying to be like, let's move forward

and GG's like, but remember how you were so terrible to me, you know, all that good stuff. Yeah. And she's like, yeah, but we make up and then it's like, we never discuss the actual situation. We just say, sorry, and then never like discuss it. So I need to like discuss it. I'm like, oh please, Gigi, no, you don't want to discuss everything because then it's going to get into you stabbing and you're causing all these problems. You know, you want to discuss everybody else's shit,

but not your own. You are not the victim in every situation here, ma'am. Yeah. So she's like, so they have a long conversation where MJ just stays very calm and nods her head like she does every time that she's having a fight with Gigi and trying to make up with her. And just to sure is her that everything's going to be okay, even though you know that Gigi can screw her over again, very soon. Yeah, exactly. And basically they, they agreed that they're going to very slowly

build back trust and maybe have a play date. And then it ultimately ends with GG thing. Like, why are you pouring duck sauce on my head? Why must I always go through this? So then MJ is at home with Tommy. And Tommy's like, ah, James is sleeping. I just read him curious, George. You know that's a crackhead, the is sleeping. I just read him curious George. You know that's a crackhead.

That monkey, all right? He hits a pipe. It's straight up meth, all right? And when we went to the pocket, it was so fucking hot. I saw three kids spontaneously combust. I'm like, what's wrong with these kids here in Los Angeles? You know, Mr. Met, he goes out there in a hundred degree weather and queens.

And he doesn't blow up at once. Not once, he's that like kids, they're just so combustible. You know what Mr. Met, he goes out there and 100-degree weather and queens, and he'll blow up at once, not once. These LA kids are just so combustible. You know what I'm saying? Can you imagine being a mommy at the park when Tommy comes? Hey, I'm Tommy. Curious George is a fucking crackhead. What you think about that, huh? Yeah, I don't... I feel like Tommy and Calabassus, that's like a... If like, there's a culture clash there.

So, MJ is like, well, I lost nearing. And yeah, there was this dinner and Mike, you know, Mike fessed up about his, you know, about his cheating, but then he said this or that and rez a change into a robe and every, she says how rez a change into a robe is. Sounds like a side to see. I'm read out by eyes eating out by the squirrel

Well, maybe curious George, but he's on methadone. You know I'm saying So an Adam is catching Greza up and Adam's like oh my god, welcome home come on pop-up Come on pop-up. Tell me about it. You know, I'm so early. It was like 4 a.m Look at the butterflies look at the butterflies. Oh butterflies out on me. I Can't believe I was sleeping so well on Jenga blocks. I was crazy. Wow, you came home so early I'm so glad that I was alone and had been alone up to an hour earlier. Oh wow, you were so early Sorry, there was so much sperm on the monopoly that but you know what? I was alone Sorry there was so much sperm on the monopoly, but you know what? I was alone.

Resa's like, he got so heated out of there. I had to get out of there. You know what? I can start out with the best of intentions, wanting to celebrate, being with my friends, trying to get everyone together, but then it went left, and then it went more left, and then it went so much more left, and was standing right in front of me. So laughed, Adam. Oh!

Sorry, another butterfly flapped its wings at me. So then, MJ is still talking to Tommy. I was like, well then night number two, the most insane thing happened. What, you guys stayed sober and went to bed, huh? No, Mike gives us speech. Pinch roll up. Whoa, that guy's got a lot of unprotected texts. Ah. Oh, and then back to Reza.

He's like, he's just a fleck thing because he doesn't want to lose his girl. He's being very calculated. Okay, this is another way I know you're playing because nobody who knows Mike from more than five minutes would use the word calculated with my or calculation or yeah, and then a crew and then a crow goes and she's going to see even the crow doesn't believe him. I'm like, no, that's the crow being like, don't listen Adam. Don't listen to what he said. Yeah, you're

even being booed by the crows. So then Tommy's like, what else? Come on. And she's like, what else come on? And she's like, well, I remember that he was telling me how to fix his nose. Oh, we had polo lessons. And then MJ is like, yeah, I am lying to him by a mission because I don't want him, I don't want to give him more ammo to hate Reza. Yeah, she had more. They give like when she's trying to think of what to say,

they put up a little thought bubble and it's like filled with Reza doing terrible things and she's like, basically does not want to bring up any of those moments. So just see like all the Reza just big so vile. And then it shows a horse and she's, oh, we played polo. So yeah, so she's saying that Reza's going out of his,

So, yeah, so she's saying that Reza is going out of his way to do his darnedness to work his way back into their lives. And he's like, well, good luck for him. Ha, good luck for him, little crack, crack, crack, curious George. So now, nothing says, wow, I'm not doing anything and you should totally trust me. Like not giving a key to your girlfriend to your apartment. Yeah, ding dong, it's Paulina who does not have a key. She's like, I'm not using beer. She wants a beer.

She's like, do you want some drinks? She goes, I'll have a beer. And he goes, oh yeah, that's my boo-boo. And then Mike is in full. I am a cheater, but now I'm gonna give you the charm attack to prove that I'm not a cheater, right? Cause she's like, oh look, it's my candle. Well, yes, I want my house to smell like your house. That's why I sold it from you, you know?

It was a crime of passion and love because I love you so much. She was, well, you know exactly what to say, don't you? I wish I did because I love you. Thank you for being such an amazing partner in Palm Springs. You are the most important person in my life and you have excellent taste when it comes to candles. I only wish you bought two of them. That way, we could have matching candles, but instead, I had to steal this one because I love you. I saw it for love. I'm basically Jean Valjean of candles. You're like so important. I didn't even know what love was until I met you.

Like when you heard, I heard. Yeah, I pinched you because look now my arm hurts. Okay. You know what? I'm sorry to just build those the conversation. It's been playing in my head, but I feel I just feel so horrible about risking our relationship. You know, you're my person. I love you. And I'm going to make a conscious effort to see things from your perspective. So I don't get into that position again. Look, look, for instance, look, this is my left arm, right? Actually, it's my right arm, but to you, it looks at my left

arm, right? Because I'm in your perspective. Well, I am reaching out my, but one thing is like with cheating or like talking to other women really Mike, like this is something I cannot ever be okay. Oh, 100% 100%. Literally, I am there and you stop it or like I have to respect myself. I will not stand for that. You are standing for it. Yeah.

You lost yourself respect. You lost yourself respect once you are dating Mike because you've 100% watched all the episodes. So Mike says, well, you know what? I can't even make excuses. You're right. It won't happen again. Shall I say that you're my person again? That's that's like my new thing. You're my person. You're my person. I love you. I can't believe I almost risked you. Person. Love you perspective. You had me. Hello you had me at hello candle, okay? Help me help you help me help you. Uh-huh. Show me the money So then what we all needed president spandex so he's running to meet MJ because they're gonna do the stairs and

She's like I'm not really sure what this is is this yoga Look at me look at my big big, huge, positive smile! I'm so glad to be out in this sunlight when I've done nothing wrong to anybody! Ha ha ha! Well, I wish I had gone to see more of you in Palm Springs. So they go up the stairs, they have some silliness of stretching and going up the stairs, they go up,

they hope once at, and they get to the topic Oh my god that felt good girl bitch be like let's go upstairs like bitch lost 40 calories going up staircases You know so I'm like glad to have some one-on-one time with you you know because like in the moment when Mike got up and did a half-it-middle, but it's like a fake ass live bitch be like, go nessa, like, why it like triggered something in me and it like reminded me, it reminded me of my dad was volunteering with multiple women. Oh yes, cue the arm, the real victim because I'm triggered by my childhood speech with every man on Bravo does. I was actually, I was honestly, I was impressed because we know that Reserval always make himself a victim, especially after he accused Mike of being the biggest bitch I was victim

in the group. I was like, he's going to make himself the victim, but I was not expecting, I really was not expecting the whole, I'm the victim because my dad would cheat and it reminds me of my torture childhood. I was actually like, I have to give a little golf clap to just the shamelessness. The shamelessness of the victimization. I mean, he's really, really banging it on. Meanwhile, MJ is dressed like Linda Richmond

from Saturday Night Live. That Mike, that Mike that my character Like the big sunglasses on issues doing like the lip out What was her thing? I'm the other class. I mean, okay, okay Durand ran you know what you ran discuss So she's even giving him that face.

And he's like, yeah, when my dad was cheating on my mom, there were texts back then, but there were paste stubs. He was like paying rent and bills for these women. And I remember trying, him trying to gaslight my mom when she caught him and make her feel like the liar. And I would be like, bitch like bitch like please bitch be like lying bitch be like like my dad he was like he was he like never hit rewind and what I'm saying is he would never be kind okay he would never be kind to rewind bitch be like childhood

I mean I know I'm supposed to be feeling for him but all I could think was like god those were the days you could fuck a married guy and get your rent paid I mean what I know I'm supposed to be feeling for him, but all I could think was like, God, those were the days. You could fuck a married guy and get your rent paid. I mean, what are you getting now? I can nothing, you know? And if Mike is this triggering, then half you've been friends with him for this long, because this is literally Mike. Yeah, literally every single time.

So Reza is like, you know what? What goes on between Mike and Paulina is none of my business. And then, of course, and MJ goes, not your monkey, not your circus. Yeah, that monkey's on crack anyway. Get out of the circus. It's gonna explode. That is so wicker review. Persians be like, not my car bonso, not my hummus.

And MJ just tries to tell him in her Linda face. She's like, you know, your reaction in that moment, it was like really easy for you to go to this dark place. Yeah, but then like, I just wish Mike's acknowledgement excluded Gornesana. And she's like, but honey, it didn't happen that way. So now other things have to happen, okay? But what's most important here is that we're still okay. Now, you're going

down for this and I'm going to smile on the background, but you're still going to be good with me, right? Yeah. Well, God forbid, you had gone home and said, stuff to Tommy that would have made us slide back in time. And then we see MJ have another thought bubble where she thinks about the things that she could have sold Tommy and then And then then, so then they basically just hug. And Reza says, he's like, I want to stay cordial with Mike and find out what you're just thinking. But the most paramount thing is me and MJ and memories of my father being a philanthropic

at check subs. God, he is really something else. So here it is, another season where he's gonna get try and get someone off the show and get them totally ostracized from the group so that they can get off the show. And he's so desperate, he's got destiny, but honestly, destiny does nothing.

So he's got MJ back, so he's gonna dump everybody else now. Oh, well yeah, I mean, and the thing that's always funny is that when Resa goes after Mike, I mean, Mike is such an easy mark. Like, Resa has tried with MJ before the Lily Goleachie season. I believe was the season where he, I think that was the last time he turned on MJ. That was when there was accusations of pulp hopping at the reunion. That was when they had like that party.

And Resa was like, everyone in this room are the people that I care about. And when he was not in this room, I hate, you know. But since then, he's been really tight with her, if I seem to remember correctly. But last season, he tried to go after MJ and it like did not work. It was a total failure. So he's sort of going back to tried and true territory. Mike is easy. He will be able to go after Mike and he will be able to destroy Mike and it'll be hilarious. It'll be wrong, but hilarious. So let's go watch Neema and Mike do some crossfit.

Okay. That'll be fine. With Tamara or Tamara. Tamara. And so so Mike's there with her and he's like, hey, hey, don't hurt yourself. Okay. Hey, hey, don't hurt yourself, okay? Hey, this guy Nima, he has a death wish, okay? He has a death wish. She's like, oh really? Because he said that he whooped your ass. Oh, oh, oh, the only thing that he can whoop my ass in

is sewing probably, yeah, yeah, you know, because only guys who are like super gay and are like not real. That's gay, right? That's gay, right? Yeah, so, or Jenga, or Jenga. So he's gay, right? That's gay, right? That's gay. Or Jenga. Or Jenga. So he's like, yeah, you know what?

Hopefully I'm not gonna hurt his pretty new nose or his new chompers. So then they do their crossfit thing. Well, Nima arrives. He goes, my two favorite ladies. Oh, oh, oh, oh. My God, Garan. So now you have to.

So now they have their prom springs talk after their workout. And he's like, oh, gotta be honest bro dude. Listen, gotta be honest with you. It's important that I'm honest, right? So surreal because like the two weeks before you've been telling me Reza's like dope bro. Like you've been saying like Reza's dope.

So like what happened bro? He's like, bro, honestly, I thought, let me be honest with you right now. Honestly, I thought he was like, honestly watching out for me, but like bro, honestly, I thought let me be honest with you right now. Honestly, I thought he was like honestly watching out for me, but then like honestly, Palina was like honestly, why would you believe it's Gornessa? Honestly, man, it's like, honestly, let me be honest, okay? Brezza is not someone I would honestly trust, but like bro, if Palina hadn't sent those text messages in the first place, then he wouldn't have met

all bro, just being honest. Mine just looks so confused. Yeah, Mike doesn't get it. And then of course, Neema is trying to kind of make himself seem a little bit more like a player. And he's like, listen, I'm not judging you because look, I'm a guy who tried to kiss a girl that wasn't even my girlfriend in Big Bear. Wow.

I am such a bad boy of this franchise. And then we see a flashback to him saying to GG, I think I'm gonna kiss you. And she's like, no, just a little one. Just one, I just wanna extend my brand from my lips to your face. How about that? She's like, no.

He's such a whore, so my God. Bro, you're talking to some guy who like every time I'm done with a Diet Coke, I spend the bottle and just see if anyway. I've been asking for forgiveness for that for years, bro. Years, bro. Let me be honest, I was stupid in that moment. Bro, let me be honest, you're not stupid, bro.

Okay, you've got the best girl in the world. How'd you get her to forgive you? I tried for a year and couldn't make it right. She didn't even care, I was trying to make it right. She wasn't that into you, Neymar. I know. And Michael's, the reason why I was quick is because Polina is my person

and she wants to be on TV, you know? So then Neymar again is like, well, I was like three years to recover my friendship with Erica. You know, it's like, I have no idea how Mike pulled that off, but teach me, bro. Teach me. And poor guy, like have no idea how Mike pulled that off, but teach me bro, teach me.

And poor guy, like has no upper lip. And so Mike's like, bro, you look like a beaver right now. He's like, oh, I'd rather look like a target. He goes, no, you're a beaver. Listen, okay, tell us, tell us, this is gonna be funny. How many times did you get laid last week? And he's like, dude, bro, I got laid like twice. Gotta be honest with you bro, twice, two times. He's like, okay so you got laid two more times last week and then you also got

laid like ten times a week before. He's like yeah bro. Yeah bro I'm a tiger. I'm a tiger bro. I'm gonna have fun. I'm gonna have fun. So they're all lying on this show. Yeah then yeah he's always been been so pathetic and trying to fit in. And then Kelly bent Simone, the trainer lady, comes over and puts like one of those headguard things on me, and he's like, well, what do I need this for?

And she goes, yeah, I'm gonna give you this to protect your teeth. And he's like, oh, come on. Like, what about my nose? My nose was like 15 grand. And she's like, you should get your money back for that one. Because, yeah.

And then, and then this scene just ends. And then we go to the trainers are mean on this. So I love it. Oh, so we go to Destiny's house where she is in the kitchen with her nephew, Roman. And she's like, Roman, hello. And so she's talking to him and she, because he's like 13 and she's saying,

really the worst things like, I saying really the worst things, like, I'm like the coolant, like, you think I'm the coolant, right? I'm like the coolant. I think I'm pretty cool, just saying, I'm the coolant. I'm like, please don't aspire to be the coolant. Like, there's, there's just no upside to that. There's no upside to being the coolant. And she starts giving him the lecture of like,

you know, it's really important to me is like respecting women. So I just want to make sure that like you're in a relationship, you respect women. That's why I'm best friends with Reza because like nothing says respecting women like Reza. Okay. No one has been more respectful of Reza of women than Reaza. Okay. Yeah. And the nephew is kind of like, okay, I got my finger by the way. Oh, my God. I'm like, I literally, yeah. Don't do this to me. I'm the coolant. So then, and then we have, now it's like another day and a sunny and MJ is with baby shams

and they're in a park and walking and he's really cute and he's like walking, you know, he's like Ambling around and so go NASA shows up with Jaja who apparently is also a service animal for reasons that I'm sure are known only to Gigi and doesn't she have what was her doesn't she have like some kind of arthritis or what was that thing? She probably has I think that she has maybe she has anxiety. There's an M. I was no, she had to write us room. It's where our threat is. I thought I'm assuming it's for whatever anxiety she has that letter to have you know,

several groundbreaking mom logs about using pot. So, so there's Sham's running around and stuff and Gigi's like, I'm realizing that he's no longer a baby and I've missed so much time with him, so much time. So, so she's gonna have a party for her son, Elijah. It's gonna be an adult party and she wants everyone to a party for her son, Elijah. It's gonna be an adult party, and she wants everyone to dress tribal for an African, it's gonna be an African jungle party. Everyone dress tribal. So I'm already like, Bravo, why do you do this to us?

I'm like a little nervous about what this is gonna turn into. Oh my God, even MJ gave her like a crimson, like really? She's like, yeah. No, it's gonna go wrong. Tribal. Yeah. She's like, I just wanted to scream Africa. No, it's going to go wrong. Tribal. Yeah.

She's like, I just wanted to scream Africa. No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no's like uh-oh uh-oh, uh-oh, but like, you know It looks like some of the previews that it was sort of revised to just like dress and animal prints It's gonna be you know like elephants and lions and all that fun stuff. So um She says there's gonna be lots of animals and dancers, you know perfect for a One-year-old nothing nothing is more perfect for a toddler than an adult party with animals that could eat them. That's so GG. So really GG is here because she's not sure about Reza anymore and she needs some ally to be on the show. So now she's now she's testing the waters like well MJ and Reza hate each other so I guess I could be nice to MJ now, but she seems to sense that,

no, that's not going to work because Reza is now getting back together with MJ, who is still is going to leave you out in the cold. So she's still trying to find an angle, you know. And so she's like, well, you know, it's just like, it's more familiar for me to think that Reza is doing something to hurt me. But then if I make it accusation and Reza is telling the truth, then that sets us back. But then if it is true, I'm at risk every day. I'm friends with him. Yeah, you're at risk every day. You're friends with him. She sounds like she was literally walking maskless in a COVID war. I met risk every single time I walk through here. I don't even

know if a COVID war does the thing, but it's like you've been at risk with Resa ever since you met him ever since you met him, ever since you met him. Like that's what being like how long before you guys realized you've been at risk. Oh God, this show. So that brings us to the end of the Vashar or so Shantar sort of that they do they it ends on this moment. This is going to be I guess the next thread of storyline which is that MJ tells GG that Tommy is not gonna allow Reza to meet Shams because of the whole you know restraining order so then we see

flashbacks of Reza. I just wanted meet baby Shams so bad because my mother was a philanderer I left checkstabs for babies are us. I just have to heal this When I was a baby my father had another baby When I was when I was young I went to see look who's talking but had to leave after an hour because my dad was cheating And I never got to find out who was talking. Oh. Oh, shars. It's fun times. So thanks all for listening.

We will be back on our next episode with below dick sailing yacht. And then let's see, this week we got below dick sailing yacht, then real housewives of New York, then real housewives of Beverly Hills, and then top chef will be out as a bonus for Friday. So that's what you have to look forward to, and then Family Karma will be next Monday.

Next Monday for Family Karma. So that is the sketch. It's kind of always up in the air, and that's the latest sketch. So thanks all for listening, and we'll talk to you on the next episode. Bye! Watch what crap ends with like to think it's premium sponsors!

Ain't no thing like Allison King. Ashley Savoni, she don't take nobelone! She's not just a Sheila, she's a Daniella. Itch-oals, Dan-o-C, Dan-o-Doo! Let's rent some air-ins with them, a ly-er-ins! Aaron McNicolas, she don't miss no! Dana-C. Dana-Doo! Let's rent some errands with Emily Yerens! Aaron McNickles. She don't miss No Trickles. Hava Nagilo Weber!

Jamie. She has no last name-y. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch! Jess saying, okay. She's a little bit loony. Juni. She's always sublion. It's Kelly Ryan.

Kristen the Piston Anderson! Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the Berg! It's Kelly Ryan. Kristen the Piston Anderson. Megan Berg. You can't have a burger without the burger. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan lettuce. There ain't no problem that Sarasolvia can't solve you. The Bay Area Beaches. Beaches.

And our super premium sponsors. Nancy's Season Desisto. Better than tabooly. It's Annie and Julie. In the hissy with Jay Hissy! Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. Always the wiser is Allison Weasler! We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

She's cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle. Erica, 500 days of summers. We will, we will, Joanna Rockland, you. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. Don't get salty with Christine Pepper Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender my favorite Merto Karen McMurdo no one makes us feel well like Megan Capsiwell Mina Kutty Kutty Kutty Kutty Give him hell miss Noelle Sarah Greenwood. She only uses her power for good

We're a fan of Michael Lamb can't have a meal without the Emily sides! Shannon out of a cannon Anthony! Let's get Racy with Miss Daisy! Let's take off with Tamela Plane! She ain't no shrinking Violet Coochar! We love you guys! Hey Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins' ad-free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.