Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Bloody Married

Episode Date: November 3, 2018

It's two days until MJ's wedding on Shahs of Sunset. Will white people get cake with salt in it? Will Adam get a baby? Will Vida approve of Tommy after heckles MJ during her speech? Let's find out! This week's bonus is about getting lost in Los Angeles, the new Sabrina, and Get a Room. To hear it, become a Patreon member at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **Crappens Live is coming to Seattle and Nashville! Find ticket links at watchwhatcrappens.com **New Ramona Christmas and Hanukkah tees avail until Nov at www.CrappensMerch.com. You can also find store links and ticket links at http://www.watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, when you go to the river, you can't just go, have this bird there so much that it happens. Watch what crapens would like to think it's premium sponsors. Ashley Savoni, she don't take no baloney. Hillary Parker, the Parker Soros.

Rifty, wow, a D-dowardy. Kelly Barlow, when she goes Barlow, we go high-low. Hot dang, it's Jessica Dang. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the Berg. Jess Ayan, okay. Susie, going to the Tobin. Anna, God, I love that banana. Anderson.

Ain't no thing like Allison King. Megan the Slayer Taylor. Avadigila Weber Weber and our super premium Patreon subscribers Shannon out of a cannon Anthony Kelly Grant big grandmaster give them hope miss no well the incredible edible Matthews sisters and Lizzie Drucker a fun mother motherfucker. We love you guys! Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens! The podcast about all that crap we'd love to talk about on VL Brahves.

I'm Ronny Karam, I'm also from the Rose Prax Bachelor podcast which is coming back in two months! And here I am with the gorgeous, talented Ben Mandelker. Hello Ben. Hi, how's it going? Oh, just great. How are you? Well, I'm super excited because we are one week away from our big Seattle show. We are bringing grunge back with the grungeist episode ever of Watcher Crappens in Seattle. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to wear a flannel. I'm going to drink Starbucks. I'm going to answer questions on a psychology talk radio show and then I'm going to start up a gaming company called

micro-tendo and I'm just going to embrace all things Seattle. Okay, I'll just get a corner in flannel and like some eyeliner and just judge you really hard to see for it. Let's recreate the video of Jeremy at our show and we'll call it Cameron. Cameron Spoken. Reality by it. I'm laughing at my own joke. Do you like that? I'm just like cracking up over the idea. Why not? Look, we don't have an audience here. We laugh at ourselves. That's how those always work. But if you would like to replace our laughter with your own, come to the live shows.

Next week in Seattle, we're doing Real Housewives of Dallas, as Benjamin said. And that will be super fun. Almost sold out. Go get your tickets. There's like literally like a ticket and half left. So go get it. Then after that, in December, we're going to be in Nashville, good old Nashville. And then after that is Christmas time in Hanukkah.

And spending of those, go get your Christmas in Hanukkah shirts. They're Ramona single based, okay? That's the thing, Ramona. So go get those. There's Ho Ho Ho, okay. And there's happy Ramona Ka, which you know is a year round holiday. So go get those over at crappensammerch.com or our link at watchetcrapens.com where you can also find ticket links

and our Patreon link, which is where you find our weekly bonus episodes. So go do that everybody, okay? I'm done talking about it, man. Yeah, and, well, and also it's being bonus episodes. Next week on our bonus, we will be doing a shop-by-shop breakdown of the new Vanderpump Rules trailer which came out. Vanderpump Rules will be making its return on December 3rd which means that on my birthday

we get to recap Vanderpump Rules. I mean what a way for me to celebrate turning 40 then by like sitting down with you and just talking about Vanderpump Rules. It's an honor. It's an honor. It's a hoater. It is an also one time to hold her. Also with that Nashville show, it looks like because it's at City Winery, there may be some really cool, looks like there's going to be this really cool thing that they're going to do, which is like do like Ben and Ronnie wine bottles. So you can have your own watchbook crap and steam wine. Yeah. So like basically, the Nashville's been at like low ticket alert for a while. Like it's just like at a state of emergency of like, oh my god, we're about to run out tickets.

So like, if there's any more incentive for you to take those last few tickets, it's that you might be able to get limited edition Ben and Ronnie wine. So I mean, come on guys, I mean, what do you know? It's going to be a heavy handed cab. So sign up. Please it's coming in a box. It's gonna be the thickest most useless wine ever.

Watch what crap ends why. I guess it's gonna be a cook. We're just gonna call it tinsley. Yeah, it'll take way too long to drink. And at the time it will be concentrating on something else. You'll be like, oh wait, I got berries in the second half hour of this glass of wine. There should be a tins the air reader, so when you air it, it just goes, oh! I'm getting some notes of penthouse apartment.

And my eggs. Oh, maybe a Carol air reader. I'm getting notes of baby. Baby, baby, baby. It's very marathon forward. It's like gasping by the end. The bottle of wine will come in seconds to last, and Adam will be there at the end waiting for you like It'll just have like a huge amount of sediment. You're like

Okay, let's get on with this. This is the ten ultimate episode of the Shaws of Sunset Let's just put this Shaws out of its misery of shots of sunset. Let's just put those shots out of its misery. Also, another thing, speaking of shots, we've just next week since like, I'm billion shows are premiering really only two, but it feels like a million to us. So the season finale of shots is next Friday,

but we also have Jersey coming back and then the Middle of Dallas show. So we've decided that the season finale of shots we're gonna cover in the next next bonus episode. So next week's bonus is Vanderpump Rules and the bonus after that is going to be the Shaw's finale. So just prepare yourself. Prepare yourself. Okay. Okay. You can open on Patreon everybody. Okay. Now here we are two days before the wedding. Yeah. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun I think like stop because you're about to pass it and Tommy's like, what are you gonna talk and frosty against or I can't understand you? Which is hilarious that they do that.

Yeah, exactly. So they go in and I just want to also preface that this was like a miserable episode. I'm sorry everyone. It was like basically they're like, oh, we have to tie up every single storyline before this wedding episode. So let's just like put a bow on everything, shall we? So we start off here and so they get to the therapist and they sit down and MJ starts talking about how her relationship with her mom since her dad passed has been so much better and her

mom has been loving and nurturing. Although lately her mom has started to become classic Vita and undermining and sad making. Yeah. Well, you know, she's not going to feel much better because her therapist is wearing an ASEC AF tab, which is not very good. Like, the therapist is going to start wondering why she's got terrible reviews on Yelp and like why MJ keeps taking the air out of her tires and stuff. It's not a good thing.

MJ doesn't like her ASE, okay. Don't worry about her therapy. Basically, the therapist has hidden 30,000 dollars worth of gold in those in the couch It's good vibes. There's also like I was so distracted because I could then stare at this little sculpture behind the therapist Which was like it looked like a chalice but with many faces in many directions. It was like ooh the psyche Yeah, the psyche. Which gives you an indication of how interesting this scene was, sorry.

I know, I was writing things about MJ's jacket. I was like, oh my God, they still have Gets ux. I was like, it's so did a big pen explode all over you. What is going on? Look what year is this? I used to have that. I have pictures of myself in that body suit that looks like the people who were coming

to Kidnap ET in the film ET. Oh yeah, but they're covered in like, big splatters. They're like a messy, messy abductors. They're like, we're gonna have abduct you, but we've also not handled our pens correctly. Yeah, so she's like, well, I can't reliably say

my mom will give my blessings. Should we just ask her at rehearsal dinner? And Tommy's like, that idea, that idea. Which means that they're totally gonna do it. Exactly, because they need to do something to make this interesting. The other thing is that MJ hasn't seen her dress

and she won't be seeing her dress. I guess, well, you know, she's seen her dress, but it's been sent away for revisions or tailoring or whatever, and she's not gonna see it until the day or the night before the wedding. And she's just going with that. So we can already tell there's going to be a lot of disaster on the horizon. So there's a wedding thing about how she's like, well, I just don't want to be a bright Zilla. So I'm just letting things happen. Listen, let's just be honest and call this what it is.

This is the laziest ass wedding planning I've ever seen. And bless your heart because this is how I think everybody should plan their wedding. Yeah. You guys do everything. I'm paying you a zillion goddamn dollars. You do everything. I'll show up. Just make sure it fits. You know, I mean, that's the best way to get married because I'm sick of friends who take two years of phone calls and crying and breakdowns over their fucking wedding, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I agree. And you know, I've gone on record many times that I feel like wedding storylines on Bravo are not very fascinating. They tend to be just kind of dull. You get the

typical drama, there's the typical anxiety. And you can spice it up. You can throw in a dinosaur skeleton. It's still kind of like dull to me, and the one exception, and I'm not saying this because she's my favorite housewife, but honestly, Luan and Tom's wedding was the only one that I like actively enjoyed because it was pure lunacy, right? And what was great was we didn't even see the wedding.

We saw some home video footage, but it didn't really, there was a lot of scuttle butt about the wedding and fights about the wedding, but we weren't subjected to endless scenes of Luanne picking out sconces and flowers and meeting with a party planner. She did a, she liked shop for a dress, and that was it.

But I get really tired of watching people on Bravo, they meet with, they try the cake and they look at a chair and they feel fabric. It's like that and little children. I don't know if I really need to see that on Bravo anymore. Yeah, I agree. It could end. I mean, basically, this scene to lead us out is the question that everybody has on their mind after thinking about wedding so much.

What's up with Persians and furry pillows? Yeah, Tommy. Tommy finally gets the crux of it after like seven seasons. Welcome to your future children. Okay. You're going to be little balls of hair popping up. Exactly. I did enjoy like MJ started to choke up at one point during the session and time is like what are you so upset about? And she's like I'm happy. Oh, you look it not We just got Tommy Hey, you know what I say funny looking that's from princesses long Island funniest show god that was such a wicked burn

I mean, funny show, God, that was such a wicked burn. Wicked. It's just made in Boston. I apologize to Tommy. He's so next up in the show is not even five minutes in. Guess who's crying. It's destiny. They destiny and Reza. They're back at Brickson Scones, which is where their

Monique journey began. And you know, I noticed that destiny, you know, how she, she loves to enter a scene with her elbows down by her waist, but her hands all the way up by her shoulders. Like, she's made like a W. She just loves to walk in like that. Did you notice that? No, but that's hilarious. And she has a backdreaming, like, she just says, like, I'm in W formation. That means I'm preparing to cry the W stands for what And she sure does they go to this restaurant because that's the only place at Reza will film

So like Reza will only show up if he gets free food. Yeah, and to that I say congratulations. You're living the dream Okay, hey, yeah, I would like to I would like to get on board Get on that free food drain. I mean these shots even outside Kyle Richards for getting the most free shit on a TV. So and Kyle Richards is pretty good. So he says that to yet another restaurant. And then the conversation is very confusing to me because he's like, she was sweet to bring these menus. But I really know what I want. I'm going in bitch.

Okay. I'm going to do this salad, but I'm gonna have it as a wrap. Can I get a compressive sandwich? Like what? What are you talking about? That was his character, our frequencies, and like, I hope that someday I can turn a salad into a wrap. And look, I've finally become the sort of person who's like, okay, with my salad being in a little bit of a wrap.

I thought for a long time I would be a little bit of a wrap. I thought for a long time I would be a sad gay person eating salads, but now I'm a sad gay person without him who's also a sad gay person, and we enjoy wraps. I've always lived a lavish lifestyle, but now I'm gonna live a lavash lifestyle. That's so person you would do that's why people be the bread. Okay, but a wrap is different than a sandwich. That's so person you would you that's why people be the bread

Okay, but a rap is different than a sandwich So how did he go from rap to walking in and getting a sandwich? You know he's just lying to himself That's like I'm eating a salad because I put a fucking piece of lettuce on my side No, well he said he was gonna get a rap, but then he ordered a sandwich I'm just very confused by all of this plot Well, maybe they didn't have a maybe they didn't have a wrap option for the Caprese salad. He didn't even try. Why do you want a Caprese salad as a wrap or a sandwich anyway?

Just get it as a Caprese salad. It's like that's its natural form. No, because bread, I get a Caprese sandwich from yummy all the time. It's delightful. Thank you. Okay. You can bring it to my life. You convinced me.

You know, I, I feel like, okay, I feel like one of the joys of a Caprese salad is that it's just, I mean, I totally get it. It's probably delicious in sandwich form too. I get it, but I think what's really nice about a Caprese and I'm in full Destiny W form right now. So like, if you push back too hard, I'm gonna cry. But I think what is so nice about it is that

it looks so elegant and beautiful on a plate and it feels fresh and lovely and I feel like part of the act of eating a Caprazi is feeling just like I'm like, mmm, I'm jotted to Laurentus right now and you can say bullshit things like this is what Italian cooking is all about or fresh ingredients you know as if like all the other cuisines are like from cans. No girl, I just need bread. I need bread with everything. Okay. The only time I have an attitude and I have some some negative parts to my personality. Let's face it. Okay. But the only time I've really ever considered harming somebody else was when I was not eating

bread. You know, that's the only time in my life. I've actually like visualized a murder. You know, like myself picking up a knife and just stabbing somebody, just when I wasn't having bread. So I say bring on the bread, bring on the crazy sandwich. Bring on the crazy sandwich. So Monique, so, so Reza, and so once he places the order, which it's sort of, I know that like Bravo loves showing the waiters combined that place the order, so grounds the scene, but I thought it was hilarious that we actually washed Reza,

get up, and like a bitch walks in and orders a rap. We actually saw him go to the counter and order and come back with like straws. I was like, this is, they really are filling this episode. But they started, you know, of course, talking about Destiny and, you know, the whole thing to search.

And of course, she already starts to cry. And Monique shows up. And Monique is like so happy. She's like in this colorful outfit where she's like, you know what? Today, I be sexy Monique, you know? And she's like all in this. She's at that part of the chick flick

where like you finally stood up to Merrill Streep, you know, as your evil boss. And you're like, I'm a woman. You're like beautiful. It's like, you don't care if, you know, as your evil boss and you're like, I'm a woman. You're like beautiful. Like, you don't care if, you know, the popular kid loves you anymore because you realize the really important person in this story is you, Marley Ringwald.

And Adrian Grenier. So, Monique shows up and, like, before anything happens, she just goes, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, finding your dad and I was like they found the dad what the hell and I'm like oh it's the sandwich because they don't fight. He just saw he saw a poster for instant family and I was like oh look destiny they did it for you. Yeah they did. Resus confusing me in this whole seat is that a rap is it a sandwich. Did you find the dad did you find a sandwich like what's happening?

He's like oh destiny I'm so sorry. I thought you were hosting a PETA party, not a PETE party. Sorry. Yeah, that's what she said. Didn't she say it like no PETE party or something? Oh no, Destiny said, I don't want a PETE party. Oh. Um, so, Reza is like, well, I don't want you to just think that all men leave.

It's not at all meant to you and your mother just pick men who leave. Like, whoa. Yeah. Well, before that though, Simone comes in and she's like, well, I looked into it and that dude does down in Orange County's. No, not your uncle. I spoke to his children, his aunt, his uncle, his brother, his family, his pets, not your uncle.

And then I looked up this other name that your dad's name. There are 900 of them in the United States. Ain't none of them are your father. So you know what I discovered? Wherever he is, he loves you. I was like, listen, Monique that is not an answer That'll be five thousand dollars you failed don't try to We have been sitting here for like about six weeks now and you cannot after six weeks come back with us and say he loves you Whatever he is. I'm like no Monique. No, I need to find this bastard now destiny's like babe

No, I didn't find this bastard now. Destiny's like babe Timony babe when you love something You want to try and she's like in Lussie's busy with his other life, you know And she's like what do you mean? She's like otherwise other children? Destiny trust her as she goes um, she just said that Justin he trusted her as she goes um she just said that Yeah, cuz bassimony gets like well, it's not that he doesn't it's it's what you know like it's hard for him to Keep up with you when he's got another family, you know, one cross the gun the cross the world So does he's like, you know to all the men who have other wives and other families you guys suck Like Justin he's just heard about divorce

who have other wives and other families, you gotta suck! Like Joe, just heard about divorce. So, Razz is like, yo, bitch has a revelation for you. There's like a huge amount of Persian secrecy. We all have someone that we know as a father that has a mother fucking family here and like another family there. And like, I'm sorry, some families get the airmest rope blankets and some don't, okay? Bitch gotta choose. I just don't understand rich, like rich,

straight people. I was gonna say rich white people, I don't know where that came from. Rich, straight people. Why spend your money on another family? You know families are expensive. Spend that money on something better, okay? How many kids do you need for Christ's sake?

I know, seriously, you gotta plan. So, uh, Resa, yeah, so that's when Resa says to Destiny what you had mentioned before, that like she basically, you know, she always picks guys for Leaver and she's like, no, she's like, I always need the man. I've become my father. So I was like, okay, well then great then,

you found yourself, so now it's that. Now your father has multiple people that he's committed to And he's like, so well, how is that working out for you? What you need to do is open up God, you're taking advice from Resa run just run already. Okay, he's like you have to break the pattern and she's like Oh my god, you know what's so important is that like I love having friends that I can like open up have to break the pattern and she's like, oh my God, you know, what's so important is that like I Love having friends that I can like open up to and share things with and they're not gonna judge me and it's just like It's great and Monique's just sitting there like can I go now? God no, I only put in 13 minutes on the meter to be honest. Yeah, Residus basically called you a sociopath. I think they're judging you

Okay, yeah, and that's next step and does is like I know my makeup is messed up and I really like my makeup. So speaking of judging, let's go to Mike and his mom Sue and some very fancy restaurant called Lepidete Pelle and my psych Lepidete Pettis Pettis huh Lepid Pete Pettis, huh? Lipeteed Pettis, huh, ma? Look, I've heard very good things about this place, ma, which is why I'm wearing a street urchin in the tat. Okay. I know, I wrote the same thing. I was like, you dumbass,

you didn't even take it off your beanie. So I'm actually very upset because I have also heard about this place, Lipete Perry, which is downtown, and it's supposed to be so beautiful and so awesome. And I'm like so mad because I have also heard about this place lip deep hurry, which is downtown And it's supposed to be so beautiful and so awesome and I'm like so mad because now it's gonna close because as we all know That's like the cur- that's like the Omen, you know like that is the equivalent of the ring for restaurants Like when someone from Shazasonset enters your restaurant you have set more days and your restaurant closes Yeah, your restaurant is murdered by little girls who crawl out of a toilet Little little baby shoes. Yeah, so he's like, oh, mom, have you been to France?

You know, pet is France. I'm like, yeah, she knows what Paris is. I know. God. Sue is just looking at him like this idiot. Yeah, my son who went to doctor school. I have a son who lawyer and then I've got this idiot. It's moron.

Yeah. So, Mike is... As usual, it's another season of Mike telling his parents what he's going to do, and then his parents saying, you shouldn't do that, and then Mike's saying, I'm doing it anyway, and then his parents just shaking their heads slowly, and then Mike failing again. And then we even get a clip of it.

Yeah. And without one season, he's like mom dad I have an idea I'm going to go into business with Reza in the riddest hate business and his mom's just shaking her head like oh jeez Mom, I have a great idea. I'm bringing back the circus. She's like She's like I'd rather you marry Jessica. Oh, he did that too. So basically Mike tells, Haseu is of the mindset that they have to sell that random piece of land, get a bunch of money and invest in a property that's all that's already like been developed and go from there.

But Mike's like, no, the brothers, we're going to get together and we're going to build it. It'll be great. It'll be like a legacy for grandpa Mike, which is me So he he tells her and she's like oh my But this is gonna take two years and your brother like this brother He doesn't have the time because he has a career in this brother. He has a career He doesn't have the time which means it all lands on you and you can't even take off your hat in a nice restaurant

You're lazy so this leaves it all up to Reza, and he's been nice to you for one entire year, so you're due for a life-roaming kid. And Mike goes, no, this is gonna be Ground 1, okay? And I'm like, wow, you are so lazy, you won't even start a Ground 0. He's like, we're at Ground 25. He's like, you're gonna wait for someone else to do that part, and then you'll come in

a ground one. He's like, if I build these 25 units, I can go trust. Like, oh, okay. Totally the same thing, you know, just don't lack over any imperfections there. Yeah, exactly. Trust until it, like, all implodes from the center. Yeah. So then Sue has to do the only thing that she can do, which is be a good mom and be like,

you know what Mike, I'm so proud because you're thinking about your future and you're thinking about your brothers and Be good to your brothers and hey, whatever happened to that pale that you were dating for a while there, huh? Is she coming over yet or no? Yeah, I like that student never asks. She just never asks about that. She's like, whatever. That whistle ball, what happened to it? What happened to this air waffle machine?

You got air waffle. What happened to that squeegee? That squeegee you are in love with. It's time for commercial. It's time for commercial. It's time for a… Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest

and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownleur, we will be your resident not-so-expert-experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego

in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. But crap, crap is commercial. So next we go to this big ass house of the shampoo investors. Yeah.

And Yuna Ress is excited because he shows up in gold re-box. Oh my god. Yeah. He has, and on top of that, so Adam is there too. They're basically at the Funches and the shampoo and preserios and Adam and so Adam is there too and Adam has clearly been dressed by Resa big I can you can tell because it's not what right Adam normally wears and he's also walking around in that awkward stance That I feel like I walked around in a lot when I was around 12 or 13 with my mom addressed me and stuff you know You'd like, like an all gold bugleboy outfit. And my mom said, that looks good.

Like this is itchy. And you've just been crying in the car the whole way there. Yeah. Or like the first time you, yeah, like the first time you get an outfit that's like cool and like a little different from what you normally wear. So you sort of nervous, you're sort of standing awkwardly like a robot. So that's what Adam was because he's wearing a black blazer and a black shirt. And a gold medallion, like a gold medallion necklace and then a broach. It was like, it

was not Adam at all. It looks so bizarre. Yeah. So he gets flailing him through the front door as he is want to do. Yes he does. And he's like, whoa, look at that diamond necklace. Strait guys might look elsewhere. But not me, home girl. How cool is this house, Adam? You know, I grew up literally like my dad came home and he would like make it rain. But Adam is very conservative when it comes to money.

There are other things he's daddy warbucks taking the little orphan Annie into his first mansion. I know, and then Razza goes. They were like looking at the products and everything, and Razor's like, I was thinking that, hey Adam, I was thinking that like one day, if we do well, there may be a little baby version of this house for us. And then we follow that out like going, Adam is getting on board, like a baby on board.

But more like a baby, house on board like a baby on board But more like a baby house on board. He literally said baby. I know he first I was like don't say don't say the B word around Adam I'm gonna make it after all. Um, so then like the rest of the cast starts to show up basically. And Razz is like, I want the punches to meet my, I don't really have family or whatever he was saying. He's like, he wants them to meet his friends basically. Which I'm like, I don't know if I have a lot of the investors in your, in your product to meet people like Gigi. I don't trust these investors in the first place.

This whole thing seems really shady to me because they're ridiculous. And they're throwing money. And rest is like, when they will be able to afford this, I'm like, you already do afford it. Who do you think is paying for all of this? You just cut them a check for $500,000. Yeah.

And then Dan Funchez has a strange upper, a strange, like, a bottom of the chin. Like, under, it's not like a neckbeard, but it's like a standalone patch, like, under his mouth, but like, on the bottom side of his face. It was a weird hair pattern. And I was like, listen, sir, you created Bedhead. You need to be more of an authority in the hair space here. This is not how to do it. Yeah, bedhead was a long time ago.

Yeah, we don't need bed neck beard. Okay. Yeah, neck beard head. Like, wait a minute, that doesn't even make sense. So Mike probably has ever res us so excited. He's like, I smell dollar signs. And, you know, poor thing. I think it's pretty obvious he He's about to get ripped off

But Mike Mike is over in the corner being negative as usual the guy who's about to open a like tenement Yes, he's like, you know, I understand he's excited But you know if he has a product that can't get in stores, he'll be stuck with the products It happened to me remember that border town baby shoes of spree It happened to Asa remember that border town baby shoe of spree? It happened to Asa. Remember that diamond-infused water? I'm like, how dare you, it got into stores. There was a dress for less stores, but still, let's see. Still, that water pops up.

Like, at the very least, it got to the marketplace, as opposed to the shoes. And then, he starts talking about, like, you know, it's so wonderful to watch like this product like being there to like from conception to creation. Like that's exciting. I was like, first of all, don't trigger Adam. Second of all, where did this this storyline? This was such a poorly tracked storyline. It was like a scene, you know, eight weeks ago where he's like, I mean, in best $500,000 and now all of a sudden it's ready. I'm like,

what sort of weird like, where's like the testing and all that? Like he, Resa actually got a little screwed by the storytelling because there really was not a lot of promotion on the show itself for the product, you know? Well, it was meant to be timed for the opening. I'm just so glad I was there putting little pieces of myself into the formula to feed and nurse this... ...braaby brainchild.

Yeah, he goes, Hey Adam, this shampoo, this can pay for the baby. Manchin, the baby mansion. So they all give it tears. And he's like, yes, this is champagne. Now put it on your head and laugh. Yeah. Oh, that's right.

There's champagne in it. So there's like all of six people here in this giant space and there's like past or derves, a bartender, a fire dancer or random ball dancer. I feel like someone told the funchers that like 500 people were coming over because it was just six of them and it was sad. And you know, like lady funchers, it was just so excited to be on TV and be with Resa because he was staring at the fire dancer.

He's like, I don't even know what's going on with her. And she's like, I don't even know either. Like you hired her, you dumbass. I'm literally hired a fire dancer. Yeah, when people are throwing around money like that to impress you when you're the one investing. It's not I don't know. That's just red flags red fiery flags twirling all around that being said at the funch is Want to invite us over and have a fire dancer and pass orders will totally go We're gonna cost you money

Those aren't people who are like hey, let's just throw you a party. They're doing it to get your money so they can pay for the damn party, okay? I've got this loss answers. You better be careful and so Tommy's like fire dancers Where's the Tuesday what happens on a Saturday? You don't want to know what happens on a Saturday So yeah, this is where it rests. It's like if you would ask me 15 years ago If I was going to live my life like this I would say what girl bitch please girl my girl. I Imagine myself living alone in West Hollywood in aging on gracefully and I was like oh god

It's like he pictured my life I'm picking myself walking walking a limping dog wearing crocs for eight years in a row But instead I'm now with Adam and we spend our days thinking about when we're going to have a baby Ruth I really like those bars So next scene is Adam Resentami going to the dessert cake place to find the you wedding cake. Yeah, they're gonna taste the cake. I mean, we're all supposed to believe, we're supposed to believe this all took place in like the two days prior to MJ's wedding when meanwhile the weather patterns are like different in every single scene. Like there's a lot of stuff. Like obviously this is just

like scraps from the season, you know, jam together. So they go to this bakery and rest is like, prior to this cake tasting, a bitch has been eating rice cakes and egg whites, a bitch lost 40 pounds, hashtag. I just like his commitment to a bitch did whatever, like a bitch ate rice cakes. I like his commitment to saying how much weight he's lost, where we really haven't seen that much of it.

That's true, too. That's true, too. Congratulations. It's like that guy at Weight Watchers. He's like, yeah, I've been killing it. I've been nailing it. And then they've gained two pounds. You're like, aha, like secretly laughing.

Yeah. Weight Watchers, I miss you. So he's like, people talk shit in the person community. And they're like, oh my God, cake is like so important. Like a bitch being like cake is important in a wedding. So I guess who else was like that? Everybody in the goddamn world, okay? It's true.

And then Reza asked the question that's been on all of our minds, what would MJ be? MJ were a cake. I'm like, well his answer was that the cake would be big and attractive because the bitch is being attractive. I'm thinking if MJ were, what would MJ be of MJ were a cake? I think MJ would be like a Boston cream pie, something like that. Oh, I love that.

I love Boston cream. Yeah. I think she would be one of those cakes with like a lot of orange fondant on it. And you know, like, is this safe to eat? You know, everyone tells you it is. And then you eat it, but it kind of hurts your teeth. But then it's delicious. And then everything's too tight and you can't understand why.

It's like you just, everything just keeps getting tighter and tighter. And you can't ever understand why. I mean, I think that she's like a classic, um, I think, I think she's like a classic cookie pus, you know, from Carvelle, where it's like, it's an ice cream cake, so you're automatically going to love it. You don't really know what it is. It doesn't totally make sense, but you like it. But the longer it sits there, the more it's sort of just like kind of becomes formless.

And you just, it gets sad as you get sadder and sadder as you watch it kind of melt away Yeah, like an ice cream cake, but you still love it. You still love it in all its forms Yeah, you still love you're like we should have eaten that when we had the chance. Yeah, it's like we respected that more We should realize what we had Yeah what we had. Yeah, you know what she would be, she would be a cake in a bucket, which my Mimag gets at the Sam's warehouse every week. She gets a cake in a bucket and it's like layers and layers of whipped cream and cake in this big bucket, like literally a bucket. And she just goes through it all week. That's all she eats. She eats pasted it.

She is two pieces of a quesadilla a day day like two triangles. Wow. And then she's like, she's me. I'm being healthy. She's like, well, I'm healthy. Look at me. My age being so healthy. I'm like, you eat a fucking cake in a bucket every week. And two pieces of bread with cheese in it. What are you talking about? I've never even heard of a cake in the bucket, but I'm wildly fascinated. I think we come like crazy shit in Texas. I think there's also an argument that MJ could be one of those entomins, like chocolate, she cake things. You know, like in the entomins display where they've got the doughnuts

and the cookies or whatever, there's like this one chocolate. It's like a rectangle of chocolate. And like, it's delicious, but you know, it's like, this is probably not the best cake there is out there. and you know that people probably look down on you for getting it But like no matter what you just sort of deeply love it despite its flaws Like all cake really yeah, actually, that's pretty universal. So yeah, so they try this cake and he's like Well, the white people will have salted caramel cause bitches be crazy about their salt. But then for the Persians, they will have berries.

I have a question, do you have a good, crazy salad cake? Because I would enjoy that with a bit. Can I have this cake made out of a wrap sandwich? I think it's cake in a wrap. It's a ding dong. Aren't those the ones that are like wrapped cakes? They're like in a spiral. It's a ding dong. I believe so. Ding dong. I believe a ding dong is like long and an spiral and then a ring ding is like a little hockey puck. Ring ding is I think are my favorite of those types of things. Okay. So

Red says telling Tommy what to expect at the wedding, because Tommy has no idea because they haven't been planning it. You know, he's just been given a date or so up. And he's like, It is so beautiful in Persian weddings. You sit next to each other instead of a cross from each other, and then a cross from you is a mirror. Tommy's like,

That is so Persian, having a goddamn beer right in front of you. Yeah, Tommy has taken the Res, that's their Persian, and he's like that is so person having a goddamn beer right in front of you Yeah, Tommy is like taking the resident that's their Persian and he's like made it his own But he like turns everything into it. It's like and then on top of that they put some flowers sometimes long That's so Persian now is at the wedding that's a Persian Well, thank you for having us cake cake maker person you did a great job. Now give me a hot purse. Touch my hand. It's what Persians do. Hot purse, high five.

You're not gonna have a freezer. Get out of here. Hot purse. You silly Ronnie. Okay, so now we move on to MJ getting, basically the vampire facial, which is also a recurring theme on Bravo.

So she and Destiny meet at the doctor's office where she's going to be doing this procedure. And she and Destiny have this very, very slow kiss on the cheek moment. It's like, it was like a slow mo cameo, but like Destiny's in full W formation. She's like, my dad, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh So MJ goes through the process, the blood facial and the doctors, like sticking a needle in here and that needs like, does he does not like needles? And she sort of, she just starts like squirming around and just like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh tiny needles, 36. Don't worry, they're just 36 little pricks, like big business. So it got me into this mess. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I got a ball. So yeah, she gets her vampire facial blot. Okay, let's go over to the Wusah commercial suit.

Yeah. Yeah, GG basically gets America on her side by saying I've never had a job And I've never had to you know do one of those things where you put a card in and it punches I don't even know what that is so this is like the first time that I've ever had to do anything and it's like I'm having nightmares Like we're all really feeling for you You're still really having to do nothing like let's face it I'm pretty sure the reason why like let's face it. I'm

really sure the reason why Gigi never had her job is because she became very discouraged when she found that punching out did not mean you got to actually punch someone when you love work. So yeah, so she does this commercial, she does this shoot for WUSA and her mom shows up because why not? And basically Gigi sits in a chair and they start filming her and she's in like the warehouse or whatever and their truck's going by and it's making noise and she's like um that's like a lot of noise like is that you're getting in that? Is it not getting in it? And they're like no it's fine it's like um okay

I'll just wait till the truck passes the whole Gigi would have bolted oh my god oh my god this is amazing. What a great story. Thanks for sharing us with a scene that like the new GG decide to sit there while a truck drove by. Yeah, new GG can like handle the sounds of traffic for a little bit.

So, Nima is calling MJ from the car because he's going to go get his first piece of coal because I'm really person now like look this is what this is this is where life happened okay it happened for a reason I was meant to go through marriage and a divorce to find happiness I mean included finding my culture because my sister went on a date and connected me to a whole group of. I know. Exactly. I'm sure his axe is like, thanks. Thanks for reducing our marriage and family to just like a step towards you getting a

trinket made of gold. Thanks. I'm glad that worked out. It's like, yeah, I've now made like a lot of great new friends and like gotten in touch with my culture. Like, look, here's Shervin. He basically drives a cruise ship on wheels and he's shown up. So that's pretty cool. He's a cool friend to have. And look, there's Re cruise ship on wheels and he's shown up. So that's pretty cool

He's a cool friend to have and look there's Reza like and there's Mike. He a total success of you know Sephora So you know like this has been a great great thing for me. I'm like, oh, Neema You're going down the wrong path and they don't even like him the other people on the show and you can tell because they don't take him to the free diamond guy Yeah, they go to every year and that weird little apartment downtown. They go to them. I'm totally legitimate. They go to like the most generic jeweler in all of Los Angeles.

It's luxury jewels of Beverly Hills. Oh my god. I know they're showing like the fanciest stories and then this one is like the awning is dripping rust. And so they go in and it's one of those that looks like a head shop, you know, it's like, there's hookas and gold jeans. Yeah, like you can get a passport photo down there too.

Like, he's like, Quacka also got TSA pre-approval. Yeah. And so then of all the gold things to get, he winds up with one of those like, those little bands that the guys wore in night at the Roxbury. So he just looks like super cheesy and even res is making fun of me. He's like, okay, I'm glad you decided on a necklace that I wore when I was 16. I'm really glad

about that. So next up is MJ with her childhood friend Carrie. Yeah, Carrie. She's like out of nowhere. There's this woman and Carrie. And they, Carrie is now. She's in town for the wedding. She's just arrived. It's like the day before and MJ has like so much to do. She needs to like pay money to like the vendors and stuff.

So they've got to do that. And so she and Carrie go to the venue to sign some checks. And guess what is the day before the wedding and the venue isn't set up yet. It's not ready. Oh my God, you've never seen this before. So later MJ and all them are coming to the piling in the car to go to the I guess rehearsal center yeah and then MJ is like I can't believe that's not here and Vita's like okay enough cry he always with the season our hearts the reason we are here because of Shamp's boom yeah yeah so they they they they had off to the rehearsal dinner.

Although, as MJ mentioned, you know what, time is limb, people are coming in from all over, and there basically wasn't time for rehearsals, so we're just going to skip right to dinner, which is so indespirate of this show. Congratulations. Yeah, and it's so like the first wedding I've actually wanted to be involved in, you know. I know. And I also have to applaud our friend Craig Who was there wearing a full-on suit that was like shower tiles? I was like you know what always making a splash and open and

Have you met Tommy McGuire oh mj's like have you met Tommy McGuire the guy? The guy or Terry McGuire the guy And she's like you mean his parents Which is nice to say because they always have this wave tip towing around it like they raised him for eight or Terry McGuire, the guy who took me in. And she's like, you mean his parents? Which is nice to say, because they always have this wave tip towing around it. Like they raised him for eight years. I think they deserve that title.

Yeah, I love the McGuire's. We met them, I think briefly last season when they went to that bar in Queens. So yeah, we learned about how like, you know, like Tommy came in and we said, how long do you want to stay here, Tommy? And he said eight years. And guess what? He stayed eight years. Wow, we had a lot of stiff sheets that for during those eight years, a lot of you could have broken all those sheets with a. Tommy's like, he has so many babies, she babies, but still one of them actually made it

all the way to preschool. Let me tell you something. The little force that he would make with the pillows and sheets. I mean, those were great structures like those, those things were stiff. Let me tell you. You know, you learn a lot in the boy's gowns, but Tommy could have taught them something. He actually rubbed so hard he made fire. So, now I was going to ask Vita for the blessing, right? And Tommy's like, okay, you do that. I got to go tinkle.

Which is so polite. Tommy really is learning. No, that's his way of saying he's going to jerk off on hotel sheets. I got to go make fire. Terry's like, I know what that means. Anybody have tight spots in their purse? So MJ pulls Vita aside and she's like, Mom? Oh no, Vita's like, are you ready? Are you happy?

Are you happy for tomorrow? Are you content she's going to be your husband and soon make me grandmother? And she's like, yes, 110%. No shadow of a doubt. It's like, oh, this is good. No shadow of the doubt. Yeah. And then, so do, can I have your blessing?

Yes, I do. I really do. I love to see you fail in something. Nothing words my heart like watching you fail. So she's I'm just like well, thanks for being supportive for the years in like she's a woman can't win You know so then MJ goes until I'm sorry, Rese goes until Tommy. He's like hey guess what a bitch. Give you here blessing You've been blessed by a video and I'm like oh yeah, she gave the blessing. Whoa, it's like Don cool. Yo Look at this look at whoa it's like alcohol. It's like that John daddy. I'm gonna go over there I'm gonna tinkle on a face right now

Make a special he's gonna go home. There's gonna be a horse face in his bed Horse head in his bed. That's actually like Vita's gesture of saying that she likes you Yeah, it's like mmm like if you horse it Horse horse head with like a ping pong paddle So MJ gives a speech which is basically going oh Look Greg Craig is here and Brandon. Oh, and I see BB over there and blah bloop and Tommy's like good speech BBB over there and Blop blop and B-Bop and Tommy's like

Gun speech Gun speech Shut the fuck up Hey, why don't you tell him what else? I think he's in the room Won't he his a dish? That's a glass! That's a pillow!

There's a map and see I think I'll have to send Oh sorry, I should probably put that away Hey, are we kidnosses? That was a fucking train wreck, am I right? I'll let the MJ's getting heckled at her own rehearsal dinner by her house. Yeah And she doesn't mind at all she does mind that's what's hilarious like she's staying so calm On camera, but it looks you know they have some knockdown drag out fights

They even showed the clip from last year that painting party. Oh, yeah This is one of those clips are there like, Oh, we knew it was meant to be. And they're trying to make it just like romantic thing. I'm like, this was the party that they started screaming at each other and broke up like, why are they showing this? Yeah. So now it's the next day.

They clearly after the rehearsal dinner, partied hard. And I'm surprised we didn't see any footage of it because MJ and Carrie wake up in bed, just hung over. And poor Carrie, she's not used to being on reality TV. And within an instant, the camera is behind her and she's trying to cover up her song with the duvet. I'm like, oh, you're new to this, aren't you?

You always have to make sure that's covered. Bless her heart. And MJ has a screensaver of herself, I think. Oh, I did not notice that. Her phone wallpaper is herself looking hot. So they FaceTime Adam and Adam's like, I don't think you're ready. I think this is ready.

This isn't ready. You're not doing it right. Do you think Riz is going to want a baby? It's like click I know he's like Res, I call the middle of it. We just hear his ringtone. Baby, baby So um MJ it's by the way, it's now wedding day. It's eight hours to the wedding and MJ still has not seen this dress, which is going to be a problem. She has a rinder vows, which I think is less of a problem.

So but she and Kerry have breakfast in the suite and now MJ wants to go home and take a swim and MJ is of this mindset of like, it's my wedding day. I'm going to do what I want and I'm just going to enjoy myself and time is starting to take down and we all can sense that this is going to be a huge disaster. Yeah pretty much and then Munna Neymar over at her place. She has the perfect place to pre-party. I love that I've finally gotten in in touch with my not only my culture, but also geographical distances from other things. So like now I know it's a perfect place to pre-party. It's like it's like a minute away from the wedding. It's great. And now I can eat up all. to the west side. Wow. Wow. Like I mean to build a brand about that. So apparently she

had a chocolate. I mean that is some person's street cred right there. She's like stop eating my snacks. Now the difficult chain doesn't mean you can eat up all my snacks, okay. So yeah. So now MJ is swimming out her house and Carrie's cleaning shit up and MJ is like, I don't understand why it's going to take eight hours just to get into a dress. And I'm like, because it's going to take you five hours to your hair, five more hours to your makeup, five more hours to get into the dress, and five more hours to take an app. Yeah. So let's see what else.

Tommy's best man calls. He's like, hello. And MJ is like, do not let him get drunk. He's like okay, well, too. Tommy. You're not gonna get drunk today, right? I'm getting wasted man. I got bottles in my pockets. I'm gonna get so fucking shit face. I'm not gonna remember this day That brings us to the end of some shars. That brings the end of the shars, but it also takes us to the mailbag. The mailbag music, there it is. The mailbag music, it started to accidentally stream to my Apple TV in my living room, so that was probably delight. Who else was in the living room?

So the mailbag, right? Tell everyone what the mailbag is. The mailbag is when you guys said us questions in a mailbag. It's a Patreon tier, so go on Patreon. Thanks to everybody who supports us over there. We don't thank you enough for the lives you give us. For example, right now, I'm not a cater waiter at MJ's wedding. And that's usually what I would be doing right now.

So thank you. So here's a question. I love this question. This is the sort of question that we really like to answer. OK, Tiffany Doyan says, a brand new Sprout store has opened in my home state. And it is reach is a reachable distance from my house. What are your tips and trips, tricks for shopping there?

See, like that's it. Now that's a question. Okay, tips and tricks for shopping at Sprouts. Also, I want to know where Tiffany lives. I'm interested. Yeah, I'm not sure how the layout works, but this is how our layout, I choose to go from left to right and I go from the outside. I do go through all the ais works, but this is how Arleigh, I choose to go from left to right and I go from the outside. I do go through all the aisles even though you're not supposed to because of unhealthy

things, but Sprouts is healthy unhealthy things. So I tend to go from left to right because all the way on the left are the drugs, which I don't want. So I can pass, you know, homeopathic drugs. Get me ambien or nothing, okay? So then I make it over to the waters and sodas and stuff and condiments mustard, do you need more mustard? I usually do, I love mustard. And then you get to the dairy and the frozen food section. And I know that I still have the whole store to go through. So I don't really get any frozen food, IE ice cream,

which saves me some calories later. Then I spend the most time in the fruits and vegetables section, load them in the cart. And then I do meat, second to last, because most of it's fit, because all I eat is fish really. So I don't want that to go bad. And then you get to the city section, which has all the cakes and the breads and stuff. And I usually don't have room in my cart, and I can only fit so much on my scooter.

So it usually stops me. So help wise, that's how to do it for me. So for me, what I usually do is I, because I'm assuming do we go to the same sprouts, I'm assuming we do, right? Because that's the one. So yeah, so yeah, I sort of, my path when I go in and the layouts made vary,

but I usually go to the aisles first, like the package stuff. I'll usually get some protein bars or whatever, but you have to be a little careful. Like, I actually stopped eating, I stopped eating thin bars and I moved on to cliff protein bars, because for some reason, I guess sprouts, it sprouts the thin thin barns do bars do not sell well and so they sit there and they get like kind of like like dry and crumbly so like don't

get thinkton bars at sprouts okay get a different type of bar and then I'd like make my way over to like the dairy section where I'll get my eggs maybe I caught a cheese, I pick up like some cereal, and then it's like vegetable time. They've got a big vegetable display, but here's something that is really important and it's actually really fucked up. Sprouts has like a terrible selection of fresh herbs, which may sound very dainty, but it's actually important.

Like you can actually get better herbs at like ralps, which is our local supermarket, our normal supermarket. So if you want fresh mint or oregano or thyme, it's always in that clamshell situation where you spend $3 for a little amount of herbs as opposed to $0.50 or $1.00 or somewhere else. That actually really bothers me. If anyone who works at Sprouts corporate is listening, like I don't understand how you call yourself Sprouts

and your herbs are in a clamshell. Like how do you not offer fresh herbs? Like it is beyond my understanding. I thought that I did. No, they don't. They have in the clamshells. And so then a lot of them are like not a good quality. You can get parsley and cilantro and you can get

I guess until I really use like get parsley and cilantro every time but like very often things like mint and basil Like you know for basil a lot of times you have to like get that annoying like living basil And I'm like I don't want a pot of plant right now, you know girl. I tried to keep mint alive I couldn't even keep mint alive. Do you know how much water mint drinks? It's like all day with this and it still goes bad and everyone's always like mint it grows like a weed I'm like a weed that dies quickly for me So I think you have to replant it. I don't think you can leave it in that tiny little thing it comes in Yeah, it's it's really annoying so I like that's but the rest of the produce that sprouts is really good

They've a nice wide selection, but I actually, it really, truly bothers me that basic herbs outside of sluncheum parsley are hard to come by. And in general, they sometimes have weird omissions. Sometimes they'll just be no fennel, but you could find it at Ralph's. You can't get hazelnuts, except for like two months out of the year.

They've got all these bins and bins and bins of nuts Like all these nuts that you can like those free bin those those things Me too and they have tons of them and yet you can only like I remember going in there But like do you have his where the hazelnuts and like oh, we only seldom around holidays I'm like how do not I hazelnuts or Philberts whoever calls them Philberts I mean really, you know, so think like sprouts has some idiosyncrasies that are really annoying, but once you get by that, like then you'll really have a fun time

because I think their meats are really good, although they don't actually have a big seafood selection also that's another problem with sprouts. I'm very anti-sprout today. I mean, I buy my seafood there, but I eat the steakier fish like like tuna, right tuna steak and swordfish And they've always got that but it's it always says previously frozen which I think all fish is I think we learn that from Bullo dick

So that's okay, but the fish from there is fine every I feel like everywhere has their little idiosyncrasies like yeah They do just has some good but terrible produce, but some things are good, prepared food are decent. They have like zero fish section, except for frozen, you know, and salmon, that's all they. Yeah, so, but they're still good with other things. And food for less is good for, gelsons is too fucking expensive. They can suck it in.

Don't go to gelsons, yeah. Ralfs, I just, I don't like ralfs. There's too much crap. Whole food is too expensive. The my favorite place here that I've been to is when I lived in Little Armenia and lived around the food for less. Oh, I like to be shocked at how many herbs, how many vegetables they have.

I mean, that place was nuts. I could not believe it. Same with John's. John's in LA has like a huge variety of produce. I mean, you have to sort of be careful. Some of it is not great produce, but they have, like in terms of herbs, they've got every single thing, and they just have, and it's so cheap.

So like John's is a great option, but Sprouts, what I do like though is, like they have like good deals on like chicken and steak and pork. I mean, also the thing with Sprouts is it's just like fun to be in there for some reason. I don't know what it is. The other thing is as well is that they don't have self-check out. So prepare yourself for that

Oh, I hate self-check out because I get too many vegetables Well, yeah, I mean I don't know but sometimes you just I Don't sometimes I don't like being behind people. I just want to go and get my thing But I think those are like the, that's how we do our sprouts trips. And it's fun. You'll enjoy it, test it out, see how it feels. Yeah, I love a sprout, though.

Yeah, I love a sprout. I love a sprout. Even though I'm having to go to Ralph's more and more, because sprouts has not been caring because of what I need, which is sad. Well, I've been instacording a lot. I'm not really doing anywhere. Yeah, because if you get the, I signed up for the trial where you get I

think two weeks free or something and then of course forgot to cancel it. And so I paid the $150. So now I'm like, I'm spending that because you get free delivery when you buy that yearly thing. And so it's not totally free delivery because there's still some kind of service fee attached, but it's mostly free. And so it's not totally free delivery because there's still some kind of service fee attached, but it's mostly free. And then you just tip the person and have to say it's worth it to not have to go to the store. That's nice. I mean, you know with Amazon Prime, you can do that. You can do that. I think with Whole Foods. And also you can get Sprouts delivered. Oh, yeah. I do get Sprouts delivered.

It's on Instagram. Yeah. I do. I mean, I haven't done it, but I could theoretically, excuse me, do it with Amazon Prime, which is exciting to me, but like, there is like a mold. Maybe Instagram is faster, because I think with Amazon Prime there's a little bit of a few hour lag. Yeah, sometimes it depends on how busy they are. Usually it's within two hours. Yeah, but it sounds like wherever Tiffany is, it sounds like that probably it might not be an option to do like Instacar or whatever. Okay, well that's the mail back for the day everybody. That was fun. Yeah. Guys, thank you so much for being with us today.

We will be back next week with tons of fun stuff. Go get your tickets for the Seattle Show next week and the Nashville Show in December or your Ramona T-shirts. Hey, Christmas shirts up at crappenswurch.com, everything at watchrollcrapens.com, bonus episodes. You can also find links to Patreon there. Crapinsvirtual.com, everything and watch what crapens.com bonus episodes. You can also find links to Patreon there. And we sure love you. Have a great weekend, you guys.

Yeah, have a wonderful weekend. We'll be back on Monday with Real Housewives of Atlanta and Maritime Medicine. Bye. Bye. Hey, prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. slash survey.