Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Clown and Country

Episode Date: April 14, 2020

We covered all seven parts of Netflix' Tiger King on our Patreon feed, and have video recaps for six of those episodes on Crappens On Demand! Nema invites the gang to a country music festival and MJ and Reza come to a temporary and stinky truce on this week's Shahs of Sunset. For the entire season of Netflix' Tiger King recaps with Crappens On Demand videos for epis 2-7, become a member over at Patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens. **New merch! Isolate and BenRon 2020 Vote Hypocrat designs available at crappensmerch.com **Crappens Live has been postponed until our country is healthy again. Keep up with our live show calendar at at watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Good, happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday. Everyone you can find Ben over on his other podcast Game Brain and he also does a cartoon on YouTube called Real Housewares of Kitchen Island Go Subscribe. I do the Rose Pricks Bachelor Podcast. We're doing listen to your heart which starts Started last night. So our first episode came out this morning. So go check it out. I Also, we're doing a live show a crap and quarantine, this Friday night for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. It's gonna be at 6 p.m. Pacific time.

That's the time for our pre-show on Instagram. And then we're gonna move over to Crappens on Demand, which is our video channel on Patreon. And we're gonna do the main Real Housewives of Beverly Recap there. Well, you know what I mean. So come join us for that stuff. And another fun announcement is we are doing a giveaway for an iRobot Roomba Vacuum. As you know, we both have one. We love

them. So we're going to be giving one away. Follow us on Instagram and we'll have instructions coming on how to enter that. It's an i7. It's pretty amazing. So join us for that. Oh, an i7 plus. It's an i7. It's pretty amazing. So join us for that. Oh, and I seven plus Yeah, so join us over there for that and I think that's it Ben. What say you? Well, I say um, I say let's talk about some Shah's sunset Okay, big episode here we go. You know now When we met MJ the crappy awards because Greg brought her which which is Craig brought her, which is very, I can't believe it's a Scroogey Greg, I'm an asshole, I'm sorry, Greg brought her, which was awesome. And we were like, we said something about you

in Resa and she said, oh, I'm not friends with Resa. And I said, you know, don't bullshit us, okay, lady, because we've seen, we've watched this show for years now, and you keep having these horrible vibes where you shouldn't be friends with Reset, but then, sure enough in two seconds, you're like, okay, let's just be friends again. Everything's great. She said, nope. So, that's where I'm left with this.

I don't believe you, okay? I don't believe you. I don't believe you have little stories. You don't believe that they're not friends? I believe that they're gonna be friends forever in some weird twisted way Yeah, you know, oh that's for sure step away and you just have to say you know what's not my life. It's not my business Yeah, I mean there are they're currently just like going out of the social media I believe I seem to remember I seem to remember seeing something on MJ's

Thing saying something like the truth will come out and res us saying the truth will come out like just stuff like that about like we're to the Rachel a bitch sees the reunion, you know, stuff like that so I don't know, but we had a temporary truth this episode, which was interesting It all opened up though with Gigi and Destiny going to some sort of Beauty place to get fillers done And of course Destiny is nervous about getting having about needles because that's you know, it's destiny to some sort of beauty place to get fillers done. And of course, Destiny is nervous about having needle because that's, you know, it's Destiny. So she has to make a production about every single thing.

And are we supposed to believe that you don't get lip fillers and injections, Destiny? Really? Is that really? Is that what this show is going to try and make us believe this week? She's like, I just can't. I'm, oh, I could never. Like, we see your face, ma'am. Yeah, we see it, okay?

And you do. I'm not gonna see her side, but I do have a very large TV. Yes, yes. And so, Gigi is telling us that one of the reasons why she wants to get fillers is because after everything happened with her pregnancy, getting fillers with destiny is just her way of getting back into the swing of things in her normal life. Okay. I would have said like going to get groceries or I don't know like going to the gym, but

fillers that works too. Yeah, she loves her fillers. She's like, do my lips, do my face, do my forehead, do my ears, do my, the back of my elbows, I'm like, damn girl. Yeah. And she's like, she's like down with needles. She's like, oh, I just love that, that physical pain of the needles. And then there's that release.

I was like, oh, I'm like, okay. Step away from the filling station. Yes. This has officially gotten out of control. Step away from the fillers. And also you look like Vita right now with your pink lip stick did you notice the right pink lipstick it was very Vita. Very well yeah I mean the everyone's gonna become Vita at one point on this show right that's the natural trajectory of this cast is to become Vita. So then GG is like yeah yeah she just

talks about all the places that she's filled and then destiny returns toends to be terrified. And guess how Destiny ends the scene. It's the biggest shock that I've seen the season on Shaz. Destiny ends the scene by going, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, boy, MJ, MJ used to be there for me and we see a bunch of clips of MJ being supportive. And she was that person who'd give me a little feeling of security when she was around and now I just don't have that same feeling anymore. Also I'm very stoned and I can't feel half my face because it's made of plastic. That's the injection. That's the injection to me.

GG, the lady who attacked her sister with scissors or a knife or whatever is worried about the feeling of security. I think if everyone else can get over it, GG, you can get over. You stabbed a tree. Okay. Come on. So yeah, basically, Destiny, she gets, so she's like all in hysterics.

The doctor puts a numbing cream on her mouth, which was hilarious. Look like she was like rabbit and foaming. And she basically just gets, just in her face looks like the little turnups that you pull up in Super Mario Bros. too. By the end of this process, she is so swollen and puffed up from these injections.

Oh, destiny. Wow, you always get swollen on your first time, LOL. So then at a two-bit circus, a place called two-bit circus, Ressa is basically Ressa's autobiography. Here we are. A two-bit circus with Mike and Ressa. It's basically like a Dave and Buster's kind of place. And so Ressa is doing some game and Mike walks up and pretends to like pants him. And then, Resa's like, oh my God,

Mike is up in this bitch, everyone. Mike is up in this bitch. I'm like, okay, can you just like let the good people of Tarzanah enjoy their games? Yeah, you know, Resa has really been caught in a season when he's being this nice to other people. He's like, look, I'm spending some pro time with my pro of all time. My favorite person, can I buy you some drinks?

Bro? Oh, I love spending pro time! Let's pretend like I never blocked you in social media last week for not being loyal to me. Anyway, a bitch lost your marriage and my 100 businesses, okay Anyway, so a bitch lost 40 pounds, but still has complicated issues with food So therefore I'm going to order five corn dogs five burgers 12 hot dogs some french fries Donuts from across the street a pizza and I don't know Some tuna fish. Yeah And I don't know, uh, some tuna fish. Yeah.

Oh, I'm in the ladies like this is Giro Marte Poro. He's a robot bartender. I was, I had so many mixed reactions to all that. I was like, I really respect that pun, but I don't know if I can support a robot bartender. It's some at a literal two-bit circus, probably deep in the valley called Guillermo del Poro. I don't know. Well, Mike's there to up her, you know, her Guillermo gig- What can I say, Guillermo?

Guillermo. What is wrong with me? I'm trying to do the L's. That's why Guillermo. Hello. So, he's upping her Guillermo jokes with his, you know, good old fashioned sexual harassment in the workplace. He's like, hey, would you like to sit on my lap?

Come on, come on, sit on my lap. Do you have a gear mo to sit on my lapo? Because I would be great, honey. Come here. Come on. Yeah. Do you have a Roman Paul Sitsky? Option.

He's like, is your refrigerator running? Okay. That's not sexual harassment, but it's a fun joke. Everyone laughs every time. Did you notice that they ordered an apple martini? Did you see the apple martini? I've never seen anything like this. The garnish was a full apple that was like, it had been somehow spiralized, the full

apple had been spiralized, and then the entire coil of apple had been placed on top of the martini glass. No, it was offensive. It was offensive and it was terrible. It wasn't like appeal or like a slice. It was the entire apple had been cord inspired by and put on it like a giant curly fry, but it was all apple. Uh, I love that you're grossed out by the Apple and I just am grossed out by Mike the whole time. He's like, Hey, hey, the lady behind the bar who won't sit on my lap. Have you dated an Iranian guy because we have very fat penises?

Okay. I was I remember he was saying stuff and I was like, I'm just not going to write this down. I can't. That's enough, Mike. So, which is like one of these 18 coin decks that I ordered? And he's like, no, and when did you become a white guy? I'm like, what are you talking about?

You're eating like a mac and cheese French fries. Like, you're not eating person food. What do you think you're eating right now? That's true. And Ressie goes, will I become a white guy? When I married Adam, I've actually become really aggressively white, it's a problem. Oh, but I feel bad, let us get to the real reason we are here, I feel bad, where, where, I'm married just hanging on pay a thread. And then they

show a clip at home of Ressa's like giving that evil look that he gives where his eyes are open but also squinting. Yes. And he's biting his lips. You know, it's like his anger, hateful look. Like when he's about to just rip someone to new one, he's looking at his phone. And Adam's like, here flashlights on. And he's like, thank you.

And just ignore him. And then Adam covers his face like this is so hard it's so hard like I thought that I would see the light with his marriage but I didn't really think I'd see the flashlight but um I'm so angry about my feeling married I got mad about a flashlight being on the other day in my iPhone away away hey away away yeah I like Riza's ongoing attempts to make his failing marriage seem like it's a big deal.

Most people I would say it's a big deal, but I don't know, this marriage has been failing in front of our eyes before it even started. I mean, we've seen this happening, and so I just don't feel bad at this point. I don't, I don't, like he's like, oh, marriage is how you y'all buy a thread. Like, don't care, honestly, like you made your choice, your relationship was failing before you got married, you thought you'd fix it by getting married, you thought you'd fix it by having it,

like having a surrogate, you thought you'd fix it by doing this for that. None of it's working, you guys are doomed, so move on. Yeah, and Mike's like, well, you have to understand all this happened over stupid accusations, stupid, they were so stupid. Uh, they weren't accusations. They were real.

And Russ is like, this is my last on me. And Mike's like, well, but this could have been fixed earlier. You know, I tried to tell them both. You know, you have been wrong and you have been wrong. Let's meet somewhere in the middle. Preferably somewhere with the seat. I can sit with some popcorn while I watch you rip each other apart for one season instead of me. Yeah, I tell you the best season of his life right now.

He's never had a better season. He's just like, he's just coming in having just a glorious, glorious season. And he's like, you know, Resa, like, you know, if you didn't do the things that you did, like you would have had the normal high ground and like everyone would have been on your side. And I could have asked you for, you know, like, a million dollars to help me with my property. But then when you did that, I was like damn, like you just sort of lost it. And the rest is like, well sometimes bitches get caught up in their feelings.

Have another conduct, another conduct, no? You know what, I need to apologize to MJ about the abortion comment because a real person then stands in his truth and moves forward. And also the audience hates you. Yeah, okay. Congrats. So Mike's like, well, we all have flaws, but you know, you're upset and you were retaliated.

So fix this, please. Yeah. Also, please stop putting that corn dog in my face. I do not eat them and I will not relieve you of the burden of knowing that you ordered eight corn dogs for yourself. You did that. Eat them all yourself. And for dessert, please go order me a million dollars, please. So then MJ and Tommy are driving around and he's like MJ is saying, well, you know, they're telling their, what's her name? I forgot her name Sienna the lady in the back. Yeah, yeah, the lady in the back seat Sienna MJ's like well Tommy wants our kid to learn Spanish over far seat. He's like no one kids about far see a right Yeah, no one says press two for far see a right So it's like yeah, but it's a harder language to learn. So then MJ says, uh, reveals that that Resa texted her and, uh, the text was basically

like, hello MJ, this is Resa. I have not been in a good place since the rumors came out that Adam was unfaithful. I'm like, like you said before, they're not rumors. Yeah. I was just putting you to meet up with you when you texted me and you were dying in the hospital, but I am now if you're still willing. Thank you. And she finishes it. She goes, thank you. Karma, Ressa. So it's funny when people do that on a text message. It's like your contact info is already there.

So MJ is like, well, you know, Ressa's proven that he is like really, like what a despicable friend he is. And we just, there's just like a list of all the terrible things Resa has done. Like it just so, so much. He's just terrible. Yeah. And she's like, who drags their friends to court over a broken bowl? I'm like, people whose friends broke their bowl.

Maybe. Yeah. So it's just like, I guess I'm gonna meet him. He's like, what? You're crazy, huh? Come on. He's like meet him. He's like, what? You're crazy? Come on. He's like a cartoon. He's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, a puppet master, he ain't your friend, Array! This is why people stop hanging out with OJ,

because people would like his hands are too big for his gloves, who kills someone with tiny gloves! It's not! I won't be friends with him, that's it! Get gloves to fit, get it? So MJ says that she's gonna meet with Resa to see if he has a decent bone in his body at all Which the answer by the way is no I can already just tell you that right now save yourself a trip to wherever you're going If you would like to feel around for a decent bone you can you can see more of my bones now because they bitch I got something to say about bones and it involves naked jenga towers. And shut up Adam!

You're not helping that, Reman! So then we go over to this place, this country music festival that's going to be happening called Boots and Brues up in Santa Clarita and Neema is like meeting with the promoters at the event like this this big outdoor field etc. And Neema is like I can't wait to capture this. I mean this is gonna be great. You know my company does branded content. Okay. And we're here to take an already cool thing and make it 10 times cooler on social media. It's gonna be a real game changing moment. He's like, guys, guys, come over by this big boot, okay? Because this is where people are gonna take their picture in front of, it's gonna be so social. The chick is taking selfies, that's what I wanna capture

with this, go like, oh, no, no, no. Like, the boot is probably 30 feet tall, okay? How is anybody, and the branding is on top of the boot. So how is a girl gonna take a selfie on Instagram and even get the branding in there? It's just gonna be a blue wall of glitter. Fail, branding fail. And they're all trying,

because they're all like aware they're on cameras. They're also just like trying to clock about how great this country music festival is gonna be and like the promoter's like, yeah, it's great, we're just gonna have this whole feel of full of people, there's not a bad seat in the house. I'm like, what are you talking about? It's the worst.

People who get to the front of this thing at the front will have a good view. And then everyone else is gonna be standing in a giant field, you know, a mile away from the stage. You can't see anything. They're all terrible seats and they're standing on top of that. Yeah, they're equally terrible seats.

Damn it. And that's a lot of fun. We've all been to those concerts. They're terrible. And he's like, well, my friends are like, should I work Gucci shoes? Oh, wow. Like, wow.

Yeah, it's, it's ducy enough when you say shit like that on this show, but please don't say that to people out in the real world where you work. Yeah. Please. So then we go over to the SLS hotel in Beverly Hills, that on this show, but please don't say that to people out in the real world where you work. Yeah. Please. So then we go over to the SLS hotel in Beverly Hills or wherever, La Sianica. It doesn't matter who, I don't know why I'm being so specific right now.

And Destiny shows up and she's like, goes and sits down with like this lady, this concierge. She looks like she looks like she was like auditioning to be in a Greta Gerwig movie and didn't get the part. So I just take aing to be in a Greta Gerwig movie and didn't get the part So I just take a job at the SLS Greta Gerwig Wow Wow, I've entered that neighborhood a long time Love it. Well Little women was best picture nominee two months ago. Oh wait, who am I thinking now Greta Garbo maybe no? My credit No. Oh, my goodness. Oh, this is a view I was thinking of.

I was thinking of an actress from the 90s. Oh, Scatchy? Yeah, I think so. Well, maybe she was auditioning for the Grand O Scatchy too. Oh, oh gosh. I'm not even sure that's how you say your name, but it was SCAAT CHI. Yeah, I see who she is. I don't know who she is.

Sorry, I was thinking of someone from like a 90s movie. Never mind, ever mind. I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why?

I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why?

I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? I was like, why? First working at the SLS hotel, was giving off major Cersei Ronin vibes. Okay. Cersei, Cersei, Cersei, Cersei, say, orcerinin. How do you say her name?

I'm, I don't know. Stop giving me people I don't care about. Okay. Okay. Does anybody look like, you know, some of them I would give a crap about. So. Yeah, so she goes in and she,

definitely just always acts like she's in Vegas like she goes up like she's at the high roller concierge and she's like, hey I'm saying at your hotel and You know, it's my booze birthday. I'd like some champagne. What are you planning? We're called room service. You fucking loser. Don't care if it's your booze birthday. Who are you? They're not gonna care if it's your booze birthday. Who are you? Seriously, and she's like, you know, there's nothing better in my life than putting a smile on someone's face I care about,

even if that smile is surrounded by really some terrible facial hair, very narrow, annoying magician facial hair. I still like that smile. That's right, caught in the middle of that terrible facial hair. Yeah, so she's like, okay, set up the room. Champagne and candles. So she goes like, okay, set up the room. Champagne and candles. So she goes up and she's telling us it.

Well, things are casual with sound, but that doesn't mean that I can't be bougie and make them feel good. And they're playing like this rock music when she goes into the hotel. I'm like, wow, pretty standard hotel room. You guys are pretending this is MTV Cribs. It was like a bed and a bathroom. Also, I haven't been in the SLS hotel rooms in years, but I remember once my friend had a birthday party and she got a room in the SLS.

This must have been about 10 years ago. They did that thing where they put the bed in the middle of the room, and it was truly the most annoying thing I've ever seen in a hotel room. And I was like, and I've just always resented the hotel ever since then. So the fact that I was like, oh, look at Destiny. She's gonna go have like a romantic room with a bed in the middle of the room. Like great, great real romantic destiny. Yeah, I love when people try and they're like, wow, we're doing new things in a hotel.

We're putting a bed in the middle of of how about you do turn down, okay? Yeah, they thought they're being all cool because have you ever seen that before? The beds in the middle and they put the desk behind the bed. Oh, yeah. One of the things I hate the most is when they have a carpet in the middle of the room, but they make it go like diagonally. Oh, they're like, oh, look at us! We're doing we found a new way to do rugs. I know it was so annoying So of course so Sam shows up his facial hair is so bad It's so like it was bad the first time around but he like

He'd like manicured at this time. So it's even it's like really like this like beard That's like this little like spaghetti. It's like a line of spaghetti but beer made of beer. That's like those from his ear to his chin. And then it's like this awful beard. It was, it was, it was, it was someone who's been in Vegas way too long. That's what that was. Yeah, it's really gross.

And he comes in with little grocery store flowers, you know, that he bought downstairs at the Ralph's. Yeah. And, and they just had like no chemistry also, like in like the light of daytime. She's like, yeah honey, so they're, they have like really good rib eye here. So we can have that for dinner. And she's like, sounds good homie. Yeah.

He's like, I like your feminist shirt because she's wearing a sweatshirt that says, feminist to really big across the top. And she's like, oh yeah, I'm fishing for you. I'm fishing, reeling you in. And oh yeah. Oh, wait, please stop. So then MJ is driving. And she has the Bravo Crack Screen of Death.

Every girl on Bravo on these shows, like 80% of the girls all these shows have crack screens Yes 100% and she's driving to meet up with Resa and they're at a restaurant called Ivanhoe And you just know that that Resa when he got out of the car was already I know I know I know I'm the biggest ho in I know the biggest hole in I've ever done. I've ever done. I've never done. You have. Oh wait, I have to be crying. Okay, let me get serious. So, so he, like he goes, he sits down and some poor hipster is taking, taking Resa's order. I'm like, does this hipster realize that Shaza Sunset is in there like east side establishment? And they're like silver, like Tweet, you know, like coffee bar because I don't think they realize.

Do you realize that you just got cursed and you're a restaurant more close? Do you know the history of restaurants on this show? So she looks in and he is giving her that Satan look, you know, where he's biting his lips and squinting, you know squinty Goat his eyes wide open. He's terrifying. Yes. Yeah, he is and she goes, okay, hi, how are you? And he lifts up this big air mask bag and he's like, I have a baby gift for you because I flushed the bracelet. The baby bracelet. I was going to give him down the toilet. I'm sorry, you're that. What do I mean, just give the gift, like you don't have to say that you flush

the baby's bracelet down the toilet. And why did you flush a baby's bracelet down the toilet? Regifted to someone else. I mean, what, I mean, that's so resa to spite a baby. I mean, that's just resa. Exactly. You know, so she's so good.

God, I've already been down this road with resa. Okay, a million times, and then we see their history know. So she's literally God, I've already been down this road with Raza, okay? A million times. And then we see their history where he's like, we're friends, not just we're not just friends, we are blood. And then cut you. You're a compulsive liar. And empty saying, well, you call your mama, ho and a bitch. And he's like, will I make call my mama ho and a bitch? But your mom is a ho and a bitch. And then two months later, I love you. I love you.

Also, he then puts on his sunglasses. And he's like, do you mind if I wear these? I think I need to wear them right now. I'm like, OK, Sharon's stone just relax. We know you're crying. So just keep them up like you don't have to put your sunglasses He's trying to cry this whole scene and not he can't squeeze out one fucking salty. This guy is the biggest fucking phony He's like well because I drove a gun apparel spritz and and just like because you drove He's well, I wanted a bottle of whiskey, so I thought that's that light

So she's like, okay, so I thought that's that light. So she's like, okay, so I'm looking at my friend for 30 years, right? Okay, and he's like, Where? He he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he he of papers and he just thinking I was devastated and he said, Mary's donated. It's like really? Did he tell you to send all those texts that he printed out? Did Mary send those because that's not what was on the stack of papers.

So, and why did he blame, man? Exactly. And why is it if Ali is like such a shister who shouldn't be believed about anything? Why do you believe Ali first on face value before even talking with MJ? Well, I guess he did call her while she was like a nice you like, hey MJ Did you talk to Ali like when she's lying there? Have a visitor friend make sure your friend is okay And then table this for a little bit and then come around to it and and once once she's okay

But as I said like literally a VR episode he's such a faggot. So he's like we'll obviously and because she says that's bullshit first of all. He's like we'll then we'll see then I have destiny telling me about Ali Shurri to you know he's letting this up and then we see the clip of when this all started when Destiny is telling Reza, ask Maris, she knows, she knows! Yeah, and from the day that Destiny sit that stuff to me, my life at home with Atom has been a living hell. It's like my flashlight is going on on my cell phone all the time now, all the time. And it's like every hour, it's like, honey, your flashlight's on, it's like every hour it's like honey your flashlight sound is like I know I know because I needed to shed some light into this dark place that I'm in right now

I'm in your calling guess OS DEMI! Shut up stupid You can't talk about those things in someone's marriage and not think it's going to have a ripple effect and it's made me miserable miserable even being and I didn't have my best friend. I was paranoid my husband would cheat on me You didn't have your best friend because you wouldn't call her on her deathbed on her deathbed And yeah, I'm gonna put her in with your husband was cheating because your husband was cheating, okay? Stephen yeah

So she's just playing with her hair and he is trying so hard. He's doing his sobbing voice and he's wiping his face And then he's shaking his face and going, but no tears not even a little bit You know normally on these housewives shows they'll try to do the fake cry But by the end of it at least something comes out something like just from lack of proper breathing something comes out But not with Reza and he's like I didn't do this to hurt your own purpose someone something like just from the lack of proper breathing something comes out. But not with Resa. And he's like, I didn't do this to hurt you on purpose. Someone came to my house and told me my husband cheated on me.

Then I went down and sat down with some kid. And he's like, my husband's sexually harassed him. And MJ told me to come tell you and I was trying to figure this shit out. I also flushed your baby's face down the end of the toilet. Did I say that? Did I say that part? Is this where she's like, Resa, Resa, Resa, Resa, Resa, Resa? Cause he just keeps trying to go,

he's into these histrionics and she's like, Resa, Resa. And so he has no tears. They were in to call me. Resa, why didn't you call? Resa, why didn't you call me? And so he has no tears. He's like, um, not buying this at all like even when one like he's terrible at it So she's like you never gave me the respect or love when it counts to pick up the phone you know and that's fucked up Destiny lied Ali lied and I have to fall on a sword and lose my friend, and then I see you at this party, and you pop off at me, and then you go on Instagram, and you put all that stuff on Instagram, and then Tommy came and evangelized your landscaping,

and here we are. Okay? That's where we're at, Mr. Fate Cry into your napkin. I mean, he called and said he was going to kill me, and he cussed me out while he was on the way with the baseball bat. We were petrified in our own house, even though we were not technically in our own house at the time we racked up bunches with my mother, but if we had been in our house we would have been petrified. I had to get a gun, and out of that! I'm some rocky road, which is actually a different night.

But it was delicious, thanks for asking, and you were telling everyone that you wish that my eye, I think they had us been like tell me because you're glad he didn't and she's like yeah I was glad he didn't because I was still holding on to the things she did at that bull party yeah listen dude you want to talk about holding on to things I had to go to Target to make sure I had new locks and another drawer and as I was in target I walked by a jenga said I do know how hard it is for me I can't even look at jenga I can't go into target anymore especially because I am a target of Tommy's rage it is hard life is hard

I wish I could turn the clock back I would wake the best of my life to get over this. I'm like, okay, until the next scene, when you tell everybody that MJ won't take responsibility for anything, it's gonna still an asshole. Fuck off, dude. But he does tell her- If I could turn back time, if I could- If I could- I like what to do is where all denim and say if I could turn back time if I could

change Find a way. I think it's fine. Thank you. Thank you. I Think I'd something and something and something then I will say He played cartoons, I turned on the eggs. Because Mike won't eat them too. I would send them back to Guillermo de Polaro and say, these are for you. So he does say that he's not going to pursue charges against Tommy. And MJ is like, well, I appreciate you saying that. I apologize for everything you went through.

I'm sorry, we weren't close enough to get through things. Do I still have to sit here to get my paycheck? Okay, you've got two more minutes anymore of Victaers. You have it. It's out of you. Try to pretend to get them out. I just I want to take it slow. I want to I just I want to be able to just like touch each other just like once in a while like I don't know like once every two weeks I could be like fuck you Mars you ruined my life and then we can go like Three more weeks and then you could taxi back saying shut up and I'll say you're a hoe and you're married to an idiot And I'm gonna see you after all

Something like that and she's like, okay great senior. I actually have a baby. So I'm gonna go. And he's like, I have a heart. Believe me. Don't not cry, dude. You're the worst. Yeah. And MJ is like, wow, you kind of stung. You have a little bit of body odor, which is strange because normally you smell smell good. You're like, oh, she, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable. I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brown-Oller, we will be your resident

not-so- so expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking, oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently? And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen

to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. So then Sam and Destiny go to dinner. Wow. Yeah. They go and he's like swaggering into their private room. He's just like disgusting, you know? And Destiny's like, you know, we don't talk about the future,

but you know, I do think about the future sometimes. I'm like, please not with this man. Not with this cave man with terrible facial hair. Oh, he's so gross. The way there pulls out her chair and then Sam like comes and like pushes him out of the way and pulls it out more I was like wow Sam Yeah, wow wow such a gentleman. So then Destiny's like they start making out at the table and Destiny's like

Can we get him the steak medium rare? Appreciate you Appreciate you Yeah, I was like shut up. And then he starts like burping and then pretending like he's ravenous. He starts doing all this weird stuff. And Justin's like, I don't really know what's happening right now. I'm like, okay, okay.

Yeah, lots and lots of drugs. That's what's happening. When you're, when you've imported someone from Las Vegas and they're acting like Roger Rabbit. It's cocaine. Yeah, the guy in the sports betting. I don't even think this is cocaine, actually. I think these are opiates. Could be could be a little bit of everything on my drug tracking. Um, but yeah, he's acting absolutely fucking crazy and he just keeps going like burping really loud and then taking the food as like, oh yeah, yeah, it's like licking her and she's like, okay, gross. Just ordered for you like you were my baby and now I have to send you back, you know.

Yes. And then he just starts saying random things. She goes, you want me, Bob, a new sh and he's like, oh, this sounds like some pirate party. Mule, Mule, Mule, Mule, Mule, Mule, Mule, Mule, Mule, she's shaking his head. He's like, Mule, Mule, Mule, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet, ballet go to Nima, showing up at this country event, wearing cutoffs and jorts, sort of looking like maybe a busser at Flaming Saddles and WeHo. It just did not work. It also was like so-to-one deaf for someone who was like, oh yeah, I'm gonna totally capture this country

music festival. He did not look like anyone who would go to a country music festival. It was like what someone who's like only read about country music Things that you would wear to a country music festival. It was ridiculous. Yeah, he's like Daisy Duke and it And he's got you in his pocket, which is the guys just such a struggle like he's just a struggle You know, it was yeah So the whole group ultimately as we fact, the whole group, ultimately, as we will see, the whole group just totally just like misses the target on what one would wear to a country music festival. And I'm not even speaking as an authority

as because I've never been to one, but I feel like I can see what someone would not wear. And it was Nima and most of the people in the cast. Well, Shervin arrives to pick up Mike, and he's in like really fancy booties. Yeah. And Riza and Mike are making fun of him. And Shervin's like, yeah, well, you look, no, Riza says,

Shervin looks like a gay cowboy and Mike looks like he's going to be a club. Yeah, Mike was sort of giving some gang member vibes. Sherman looked like a like a late 90s like cold studios gay porn model. Like right? Like that was a full on like he was doing the textbook, the textbook cold studio. Look.

Ryan's just going to Sorry, I would meant. Sorry. I'm good. Which by the way, I also had was a very hot look. I'll be looking at the cold vintage picture as well. To the rest of the street. Yeah, by the way, don't look that up if you're at, well,

no one's at work. So don't look that up while you're around your kids, okay? But gay porn star, late 90s gay porn star. So GG is getting Gucci leggings on on her place and Sarah comes over. It's like, oh my god. And you're a Gucci cow girl. Sarah still still just taken up space. So Gigi's like, you know, Sarah's the only one dressed properly. She's just basically wearing like T-shirt and jeans, right?

Or like a short, shorts, you know, like she's the only one who's not like, Hey, and jeans, right? Or like short shorts, you know? Like she's the only one who's not like, hey, I'm gonna like dress like country. She's the one who wasn't like trying to like put every single thing she found from the Cavendors, like whatever that's talking about. Wow. The Cavendors, you.

Yeah, I've learned, you know, I just not picked up things in our trips to Texas. We went to Texas like 10 times in February, so. I learned. Got your Cavendors outlet. So Gigi's like basically she's it's been a week since her surgery and so she's ready to party. So then back at the other place at Mike's place, Destiny comes in and trips over the dog, which is, I don't know, basically. That's a very bad move. Yeah. Basically, she sees her seasoning in that shell.

And so, Rets is like, what is up with Sam? What did you not bring Sam? And basically, Destiny was like, yeah, last night it was not good. And we see footage of them back in the room and Sam trying to make out Destiny. And she's like, no, and she just packed up her roll away and left the room. And she goes, Sam and I are no longer talking. Blessing, some blessing. I'm like, you know what, Destiny, that was the first great thing you've done this season.

Yeah. So Gigi shows up and they all pack it up into the party bus, the party bus. And M. Chase driving separately. And Nima comes to meet her in a jazzy scooter thing because Gigi can't go unless she has a wheelchair. Yeah. Nima is also very excited because he's really, he really wants to get this group to get along. And he's like, I'm a pretty amazing producer. And like part of my job is to work with talent. So I think I'm like, as a producer and this one who works with talent and social

I think I'm best suited to produce this group shots this group's reconciliation So what we're gonna do is we're gonna sit down Reza and MJ and put a drone in between them and if they try to fight their eyes will get chopped out because the drones propellers And whoever gets their eyes out first is gonna lose so that's's how we're gonna do it. And then we're all gonna drink some zero coconut water, which is delicious by the way. So Gigi comes in. So they're on the best and rest is like, well, when is the last time you saw M.K. Gigi? And she's like, I don't know, I don't give a fuck about singer. I'm not gonna talk to her. And Mike's like, okay don't know, I don't give a fuck about singer. I'm not going to talk to her. And Mike's like, okay, number one, why don't you like MJ?

She's like, well, I just don't think that she's a good person. He's like, okay, number two. Well, I just don't think that she's nice. He's like, well, that's the same as number one. Okay, so now let's go on to number two. Yeah, so what are the odds, by the way, that Reza is going to deputize Gigi to go after MJ Now that he's had this like he this reconciliation because Reza know like Reza sort of like You know

Reza has not been Reza this season. Reza normally gets other people to do his dirty work He like he serves the pot and he definitely does shit But he usually has a deputy and And I think he was realizing that. So now I feel like the next half of the season is gonna be him getting Gigi to go after MJ. Yeah, that's the only reason he's been nice to Gigi is to have somebody to go for MJ, I think. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, she's already wearing that star. She's already wearing that tin star on her vest. So Nima is like, oh, this, this jealousy is for Cole Neth, though, she had emergency surgery. And MJ is like, yeah, once Shalom came into the picture, Cole Neth said, I pretty much drifted apart. And we see the party last year where MJ and Resa got up on stage and announced that Shalom's ex wife is there. Dun dun dun.

They love trotting out that footage. I love, I love a people on this cast are like, yeah, we should sort of drifted and it's like, oh, that's because you brought Gigi's ex-husband's ex-fiance. You ambushed her with that. Yeah, I purposely disemboweled her in public. Yeah, so I can't believe she doesn't like me so weird. So then she tells Neema that she met up with Resa and she's like, yeah, he was crying the whole time and I mean I just You know I just ate calm

Yeah, and then Reza on the bus telling his version which of course has has has such a you know spin to it He's like well, you know I met with Gigi because I just felt like I had to forgive her even though I knew she was involved and I still forgive her Even though she was involved and I do forgive her because I'm the forgiving sword see you guys can like me again Yeah, and right after telling everyone like she's an a whole and wouldn't take any responsibility for anything So then the bus arrives and everyone's kind of ignoring MJ She's like hi guys and then they just kind of ignore her and talk to Nima on the jazzy.

And then she's like, hey guys, again, and Russ is like, hello, person, I forgive. Yeah. And then we see like this montage of like them all, just raising hell at this event. And like Gigi's on a rascal, just speeding all around. And she's like, I need's like I need alcohol I need

alcohol I want mac and cheese I want mac and cheese oh my god I'm gonna cover older from my alcohol I need alcohol it's just like ruining it like you just she's just terrible at a one point she starts going and Mike is like please don't do that not here not a country music festival have please don't to our story of Southwest Airlines? That was genuinely fun. Don't do that. No, no, no. Very white, conservative people around us.

You can do something like that. So they all sit down and they have a ton of food, of course. And Russ is like, can we ask them to turn it down? No, no, no, no, no, no. And Mike's like, can I ask you a question? Okay, MJ, I need to ask you. Did you know about this supposed to make it jinka? Yeah.

And basically, Mike's whole intention is that, like, you know, for several seasons, they have no problem. Publicly, you know, accusing me of things or confronting me with uncontrollable truth. So I'm gonna do it to them now. So of course MJ is, you know, like, she's, she basically is denying at first,

like, you know, because he's like, Mike is like, did you know about inappropriate text? Or be a bunch of liars? She's like, all I knew is that Ali wanted to bring up an issue and what was the issue? I'm not, I don't know. I I knew is that Ali wanted to bring up an issue and what was the issue I'm not I don't know I wasn't clear I just knew he had an issue so they are like you're lying. Yeah my kids are a look so what's your problem Mike he's like you are lying he never would have said I have an issue but I'm not telling you he would say girl

I've got to make it cockpicks girl and Nick and Z can sing and he's like I love you put your like speak the truth and speak the truth and I'll give you chocolate croissant okay long overdue and resa's like well when I said and with MJ she wanted me to believe her hands were squeaky clean and they just stared MJ and so she's like okay and thank you for lunch yesterday resa it was great trying to eat while smelling your disgusting potty odor. I will admit my hands were not clean. I knew about strip jinga. I knew about the inappropriate text.

I knew what Ali had issues with. And I don't know what happened because he made it bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. And I'm sorry, you went through this and I apologize. I didn't come to you first. Is that good enough for everybody? Yeah, she's like, is that clear? Does everyone hear of that? She's like, I'm sorry that when I knew that Ali had an issue

that I didn't think it was important enough to tell you and the rest of you guys that I knew in advance. Is that good? Are we all clear? Is this, are we locked on to be kept that on camera? Right, we're not gonna get mad at me now. No, okay. So it on to be kept that on camera right we're not going to get mad at me now no okay so what resa's basically been saying in interviews and stuff is that mj came to him already and said we should make this a story line on the show because all he has

been bringing up these texts or whatever and that resa said no I don't want it I don't want it on the show and so that's why he's mad because He's thinking that she is saying well put it on the show anyway, right and Telling on Ali to do it and then they're saying because they were all on Shenanigans and ain't no thing like Alison King did a recap of shenanigans on her Facebook page That's how I know this stuff. I read through this. Oh, we got to cheat it. And then, Mike was saying that. She nanigans, please. She nanigans.

She nanigans. It's a very, because I was like, she nanigans. What's that? And then I was like, oh, that's right. She nanigans. She. She. I've got the corner and Shah's Scasop.

Yeah. And, uh, yeah. So basically, that's it. And Mike was saying, um, I forgot what Mike was saying now. Because that demand she knows name. And now I'm going over it in my head saying, how can that possibly be the right way to pronounce it? She not again.

But basically that's what Resa saying, that all this was already out and that they were making it a storyline to make him look stupid to which I say fuck you. Because you do that to everybody every year, sometimes multiple people a year. And why shouldn't your ship be out just like everyone else is and I don't think that anyone was surprised that MJ knew about it. That was never known.

What she just admitted to wasn't some... some huge shocker. Like no one thinks that MJ didn't know. Of course, Ali told her all of this stuff. The question is did she say, okay, let's set up a meeting where you make him look stupid on TV, which I believe she probably did say go do it on TV. And I still don't care. You should have your show out on TV too. Yeah, especially, um, Resa can't get mad and essentially railroad also off the series because she won't share about, um, Chermaine Jackson, Jr. But then he wants to hide something that's going on in his life. It's like, sorry. I think that I think MJ's bigger was trying to talk about it with Reset

beforehand if this is what happened to to air it out. And he's just mad because he wants this show to go a certain way. And MJ said, no, I want to I think this will be a good thing to do. And this is also something that's really happening and You know what you're on a reality show. It's fair game. Sorry, bro. If you don't want it to happen Maybe like work on Adam and MJ is like well, you know, mate We have so many chapter we're gonna be friends again We have so many chapters in this book and Gigi is so mad pissed pissed and

Gigi is like well, you, I want to open his wide, but this is what she does. And he's going to have to see for himself that there's no making up with MJ. Well, I got news for you, Hein. There's no making up with resa either. So how fun with that. How fun with you? Yeah. One season of friendship, because this is not going to last.

Exactly. So then they start dancing and having fun. Mike really speaks to me in the scene. He's like, I've been a good boy I want ice cream. I think we can do ice cream. I want a rocky road. I've been a good boy. I've been a good boy. I'm like me too Um, I then probably had ice cream right after that and then uh and while he While he's like getting ice cream, Sara's just they're just looking grossed out by everything She's like, I cannot believe I've come to a country music festival in Santa Clarita with these people.

It's just like three terrible things all at once. Yeah, she's annoying. I wish they could fire people just mid-season. Be like, get off. They can't. They can't. Off with your R Kelly ass. Go.

Just go. So now, GG is, she's like, GG needs to go lay down and then party party bus because she just she just needs to lay flat and everything and. Sure of his like, uh, hey guys, uh, I've been seeking GG for a moment. So I'm gonna go check on her. I'll be right back. So sure of goes check on her. And of course, he's still in his like, hunky gay porn cowboy get up. So it's like feeling very gay, porny for a moment And he's like hey, I'm just checking just the two of us alone in the party boss So I'm just gonna check in on you right now But then it turns out that she's having a medical emergency

So everybody starts freaking out Resus the go we should go to the weed mess girls And it becomes a huge thing and then she's like no, it's just because I had mac and cheese, and I'm lactose intolerant. I'm so comfortable. Yeah, of course. Yeah, even before she said that, I was like, did she forget that she had all that crazy food

in the montage? Did she forget about her own montage? Geez. So then MJ is like, oh, you know, she's like mothering her and stuff. And Gigi is like, well, MJ must have woken up on the right side of the bed to be nice to me. But I know her. And tomorrow tonight, tomorrow she may not wake up on the right side. So whatever. I'm so sorry that your plans were foiled. Gigi. But yeah, you're never gonna be the number

two in that relationship. And it's such a stupid thing to even aim for. Yes. But that was a great attempt at trying to steal the spotlight with a macaroni scare. That was great. Yeah, that's GGS. I'm not getting any attention. I'm dying. I had some elbow pasta.

That's pretty much where it ended. Basically, they drive home and MJ checks in and GG's like, GG's suspicious. And that's where it's at. Yep. And that brings us to the end of all Tuesday, everybody. We will be back tomorrow with... Vanderpump. Peace.

Friday night, so crap ends live quarantine. Oprah, on crap, it's on to me and go get your isolate shirts, all that good stuff. Follow us on Instagram to enter that Irobat, Roomba, robot vacuum contest, and we will see you tomorrow. Bye everyone. Bye. Mm-hmm. Thank you. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download

the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey. You can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.