Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Confessions of a Shah-ngerous Mind

Episode Date: June 2, 2021

Mike comes clean about being dirty on this week's Shahs of Sunset. Will Paulina make him pay or get Welcome tattooed on her doormat ass? This week's bonus episode is a post vacation catchup watching session of Married to Medicine, Top Chef and Below Deck Sailing. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. Oh, but people are running around. Kids, what happens when there's so much that happens? Well, hello, and welcome to Watch What Crapins! The podcast for all that crap we love to talk about on Yeal Braves. I'm Ronnie Kerr. I mean, that's been over there, Ben Maddleker. Hi, Ben.

Hey, Ronnie. What's up? How you doing, sweet guy? I don't even know. I don't even know how I'm doing anymore because we just had a long weekend And I'm not sure my brain still works like I I'm like trying to crank it up to speed and I don't know the words That I'm gonna say I don't know if my jokes are gonna be funny. I don't know if my senses will have periods and commas We're just gonna see We're just basically one long Joe Gorg a post Run on sentence which is not

like periods and comments right when right after the other we're not gonna really know yeah it's amazing how you get some rest and then you just turn it to a fucking moron yeah rest is not good it's not good it turns out you think that rest you actually get a charge I don't know what happened this weekend So we are What happened a lot of pizza happened, okay? I thought like when when I have this much time to Reflect it's like I realize how shallow I am okay, and also a crazy I am and I go from pizza then like straight to the apology face to myself It's like the guilt and then like like the tomorrow it's gonna be different.

And then going on reddit and getting healthy recipes. And then the next day being like, you know that you're gonna say fuck all that today and get a pizza. Like I don't even wake up trying to pretend anymore. I'm like, I'm just like fully enjoying the addiction process. And then I'm going crazy. I'm thinking animals are talking to me.

There's this lizard who keeps coming on my screen every day around the same time, like every day. And then I go up to look at him and he turns his head, looks at me and I'm like, wow, just this lizard like like me, is he my friend now? Does he like you like that? Like does he like you? Who?

But yeah, the heart wants what the heart wants. You know, do I have friends now in Texas? Like is a lizard my friend? Because I haven't seen my friends in this long? This is what's happening to me. Like what's that basically days off from not good for me? No, they're not good for me either. I have currently a caterpillar that is totally violating my oregano plant named Nileu. Nileu from Top Chef.

And so that's like I'm obsessing over that. And then, I'm just, yeah, I'm just like, I got fat shamed. Did I tie about this? I didn't tie about this, because it happened in my dream last night. I got fat shamed in my dream. And I gotta say that wouldn't happen in real life

because you're not fat, okay. Well, in my dreams, someone came up to me and goes, man, wow, you got really big. And so I woke up feeling like it really happened. You know when, like, the emotions carry over into big. And so I woke up feeling like it really happened. You know when the emotions carry over into the next day, so I woke up this morning like all sad and embarrassed, you know, and I'm like, I know it didn't really happen,

but it really feels like it happened. So, but, you know, I'm actually very motivated to get into shape right now because I went crazy over the weekend with the eating. And actually, I do want to do some self-promotion here, which is that I wrote another Peloton article for the dip. And this time I recapped a ride with this woman named Leanne Hainesby, which is she's this British instructor on Peloton who just doesn't know how to banter on the beach,

so she just gets there and she cycles. And they clearly have like just generic facts about the music. So she'll say this song was number three. I love that. Like okay. At a one point she goes, she goes this song by Shania Twain released in 1997 and then released globally in 1999 and then she shakes her head like wow And I'm like, okay, so it had a global release two years later like why is why are you so excited? It's by dates. She is it's a date She'd like doesn't know what to do like does all these awkward silences and At one point there was one awkward silence where Like breakfast at Tiffany's came on you know the song not a reference to Roni

And she's like oh this song and then she just pedals silently because she doesn't know what to do And then she just goes I love these moments. I'm like what moment is this? There's no this is not a moment. This is me dying on a bicycle You crazy lady. Why were you guys peddling to moon river? No, you know, that's You know the song well, I What about recvees that Tiffany's and she said I think I remember the fear man I said right away. Let's run to peloton and said, okay, but then I'm gonna have a snack. You know that song Yeah, yeah, well, he and he loves it. Make you feel better that it's not me never I was like, wow, finally a class I could go to

You imagine like pedaling a nice, you know, nice slow pedal down the road? So anyway, so that article is out on the dip.com, that's dipppp.com. So check that out if you're inclined because I had a really fun time writing that recap. So it's a bit of self-promotion. And then also before we get into our Shahz, a sunset recap, our bonus episode on Patreon this week

is gonna be kind of like a Bravo mashup. We're gonna kind of just catch up on stuff. We are gonna talk about Top Chef, Below Deck, and Mary to Medicine in our bonus. We're just gonna do a big ol' catch up. I spent yesterday catching up on Mary to Medicine. I was gonna startit of East Town, but instead watch Merit of medicine. And so we'll be discussing that. Yeah. Okay. Everybody succumbed to that. So for now, we've got the Charles of Sunset.

Still in Palm Springs. And Mike has just had a fit because Resa brought up at dinner that he doesn't want to hear about. Mike's doing. I don't want to hear about it anymore. Let's talk about it. Which gets, of course, destiny talking about it and then Mike freaking out and then GG telling Mike, maybe he should just be poly because that's what she is. I mean, GG's like that girl who hasn't had a drink for one day

and is calling everyone around her in alcohol. Like it's like, I'm doing it so can you. Yeah, she is actually a new member of Polyton and she is going around and telling everyone about it. No, she is doing that thing. It's like, oh, have you done P90X? You have to do P90X. She's like that, but for being Polly, you know?

Yeah, a Pollyton. I like that. One polyton. As you pass, you just like give a little beat to all the different people you fucked along the way. When you're sitting there with your three partners, you just hold hands and say, I love these moments. Chennai at Wayne. What's this recorded in 1989?

It was. It wasn't. Uh oh, it's a polyton fight. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh. Uh oh.

So, um, uh, it's the morning, uh, the whole place is a mess and Neema's in bed, which is exciting for about no one. And then London's brushing her teeth. And we're just waking up. We get our obligatory Mike shirtless in the bathroom shot and him saying, so much to be great for four, so much to be great for four. I'm like, there are things to be grateful for, but maybe not this image for us. Yeah, Mike, just stressing in the bathroom, put on your clothes. I was on the wrong shots and I was like, wow, why is he in the car with me? I mean, again, I was on my wrong notes.

Oh, yeah. So let's see here. Sorry. Okay. I was just online earlier and someone was like, why is it bad? Bad bath and beyond. What's the place you rent a room? Airbnb.

Like these hidden charges. It was like this whole thread amount. How Airbnb tells you one price, but then they've got the cleaning fee and the this fee and the that fee and the government fee and all these fees and then we're having a fit. You want to know why you have extra fees? People like this who rent these houses. Okay. We open and this house is just trashed already.

There's solo cups turned over everywhere, open food all over the place. People like these. That's why Airbnb has to charge you so much. You have to be ready to remodel the whole day on property once these pigs leave. Yeah, the bug infestations alone, just from having all that food out. And we all know that Frank Sinatra shot everywhere, okay?

Because Destiny is still trying to make Frank Sinatra happen everywhere, okay? Cause Destiny is still trying to make Frank Sinatra happen. She's like, Frank Sinatra, Frank Sinatra. And you see this dog trying to like, you know, running to her, hoping it's gonna be euthanized or something, I'd be put out of this misery. Like the Jessica Tubby of dogs, just like tottering around.

But trending little aliens. Just tottering around all over about knowing where it is. Yeah, so Mike and I tell us so much, so much to be grateful for. Don't let it get you down. Let it get you hard. So then we got you Destiny, Ressa and TG outside talking. And Destiny's like, you guys, I have been like seriously a chalillean by the pool, you guys I have been like seriously Chalille and by the pool you guys like chill vibes Chalille and vibes and

literally get a fire pot get a friend of mine these people don't even like to be around her every time she comes up they're like oh good yeah seriously and I mean and then Gigi is telling us that she was up all night trying to wipe her makeup off with feminine wipes.

And we, I'm just like, as this episode's opening, I'm thinking, is the run over are our super entertaining Shaz episodes over what is happening at the start of this episode? But no, don't worry, it's still a really good episode. That's just so shawz though, it opens with talking about wiping your face off with two swipes.

Yeah, and then, also like that's never happened with Gigi, I'm sure. Yeah, so then, they talk about that for a while, and resist standing around in his little speedo, speedo undies, which, you know, there's just so much that we don't need. Yeah, we gotta appreciate the body positivity though.

You got to appreciate it, right? Now, be positive about your own body. I don't have to be positive about it. Get it out of here. Okay. So, um, uh, then, then all of a sudden, Gigi and Resa become very adamant about a jasmine-cented object. Like, oh, destiny.

You love Jasmine, don't you? Chad, you had read the dust, of the dust of the Jasmine Jasmine Jasmine and they all Stop Jasmine. Oh you got it. Jasmine Oh wait got this Jasmine bitch thing that you got a smell bitch Jasmine be like smell me Jasmine be like smell me. So he gives her the subtle vial to sniff and it's really something disgusting. That's not Jasmine at all He's like this is what I do. This is what I sniff so I don't have to eat anything but when I eat I just smell this

I I made you smell something funny. And it was a little vile of liquid ass, which Resa, you know, he tormented his castmates with when he sprayed it all over the bus a few seasons ago. And I still, I actually often think about that moment and about how mad I would be if he ever did that to me. That's just, it's like unacceptable to me. The only time that's acceptable is if you're doing it to carry on Dallas and at an Airbnb. So then we get to more footage of Mike looking at himself in the mirror, which is great.

And he puts on some shorts that are really short. And so they're just joking about how Mike is wearing really short shorts, you know, and that's like hilarious to them. Yeah, friends, it's like, you're nighttime PJ outfit was very bright wing. It was like very conservative bright wing. Oh yeah, like your father and like, yeah, but today's outfit is very like liberal left. It's like RBG Kamala like vibes.

I'm like, there was nothing about Mike's outfit that I before though. That was like right wing. You know, like as far as I could tell, there was no like buffalo mask on his head or something, you know, like I did say body paint, right? Yeah, so he's like, why are you guys being so nice to me? You know, he's like, you know what?

I can't let things, look what I've learned, guys. I can't let things get to me like last night because unfortunately, I've made some monumental mistakes. We all have, don't worry, we all have. But now, that's how I'm labeled. Like, that's the guy I am, and I just don't like being labeled. Listen, poison is labeled poison so nobody swallow it.

Yeah. Okay. You are properly labeled. Yes. We've got a lot of testing. Miss labeling going on here. You earned that sin. Yeah.

Yeah. You really, you really, really did. And Gigi tries to reason with him and she's like, listen, as, let me tell you, as a poly person, okay. You might have changed, but all we're getting is the same story. And it like always matches. So it's hard not to believe that. Listen, just poly person speaking to non-poly person, okay?

He's like, yeah, but you know, it's really hard for me to shed that foreskin. You know what I'm saying? She's like, but just be poly, okay? Because like, you know, I'm poly. So you should be poly. He Because like, you know, I'm Polly. So you should be Polly. He's like, oh my God. Listen, you think you want to be with your girl, but you have feelings for all these other women.

He's like, why are we having this conversation when you know me? You know me. She's like, I do. That's what I'm saying this. That's why I'm saying this. And you should be lucky. Because since I am Polly now, you could have been hearing it from four different people

That were I could all claim as being my significant other so you couldn't say anything bad about them and so she goes Such a good I think you need to have like one main and then you should also have your sides Which we know he's not gonna like because it's shot a sunset and on shot the suns that you always have three mains and then several sides. Yeah, this is not an appetizer ordering group. This is like main, the main, the appetizer. Yeah, but I'm surprised that her putting it in, you know, food terms didn't like totally get her modern side because even I was like, oh, you know what? I love sides. You're right. I'm Paulie too. Yes, back in

cheese and french fries. But why not have your cream spinach? Why not? I'm polycarburest. Polyton, new polyton member. So then Mike is like, he's like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, you say I can have a mane inside. So also, well, guess what? I can think you're a fit mother and then I saw you and then I can change my mind, you know? And which I'm surprised she didn't lose her mind at that.

Like actually, Gigi has shown growth because any other season Gigi would have literally found some flowers and smacked them up inside the head with them. Yeah, I don't see that Gigi's. I mean, I see that she's calmed down. She hasn't, you know, it's like people like Gigi. It's like she didn't stab anybody today. So everybody gives her a fucking gold medal. Well, I'm not giving her gold medal. I'm just saying that there was a surprise. She didn't, you know, assault him. Me too, but also, you know, just like we all think that Mike's a total hobag and untrustworthy, we all thought Gigi would be an unfit mother. Like is there anyone on earth who was like, oh wow, Gigi's gonna be a mother. That's a great idea. Yeah, that's true too. So yeah,

she doesn't get mad and it is a low blow of him. It is. And she's like, oh, and now you're taking jobs. You know what? Put a muscle on your bitch then, because I don't want to be contacted by your bitch anymore. He's like, how dare you? I'm out. She's not my bitch. How could you call her a bitch? She's not my, she's not a bitch. She's my girl. My girl, who I send inappropriate text messages to other girls behind her back. You know, like, how do you, how dare you disrespect her? How dare you disrespect her? Don't look at my phone. How dare you disrespect my girl? Yeah, and she's like, you know, it's so typical of Mike to divert the conversation. You don't think I'd be a fit mother?

Well, I didn't think you'd be a fit boyfriend. Guess what, you're both probably right. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there. So then Mike goes up to Resa and he goes, let me ask you something. And by the way, this is Mike who literally just said, I don't wanna let situations get the best of me. He literally just said that like 30 seconds ago.

He goes, Raza, let me ask you something. The person that's friends with everybody, if called, if I called your husband the bitch, if I did that and he goes, you did. Cause I did? Cause yes, you custom out at the pool party. And then we see a flashback of, you know, of the pool party last year where Mike, he didn't actually call Adam a bitch. He just said like, shut your fucking mouth or something like that. But, you know, Adam was like, oh my God, restraining order.

He did. He said, I'm going to slap the shit out of this bitch. Oh, he's like, hey, who the fuck do you think you're talking to? You're talking to a woman. So, you know, in that situation, he was right to be calling Adam a bitch because Adam was being a little bitch and he was being a little bitch to a woman and like embarrassing her in public and supporting Resa during that whole, like you've had 10 abortion things and you're really, you're just as exploded. So yes, Resa, he did call your boyfriend a bitch and your boyfriend was a little bitch. Thank you for clarifying because I must have misheard or wasn't paying full attention to that flashback. So it actually makes me feel really good. Um, so, uh, but I also like that, Mike,

I said, I never said that. So then Mike is like, Mike is now Gigi's back in the mix because they're all sort of like walking around this Airbnb, like walking through sticky mountain dew on the floor, et cetera. And Mike is, he's like, Gigi, you called my girlfriend a bitch. You called my girlfriend a bitch. And she's like, but you came at me first. You said I'd be an unfit mother, which is true. Like he acts. He's so, he's so victimized when he was the one who totally went really nasty at Gigi when she was just trying to level with him. Yeah, but she was the one calling him out on TV for cheating, which he did do.

What he did. Yeah, it's like that's the show. It's like you're always trying to pin the tail on the donkey, but you know what, there's too many, there's too many donkeys. Too many donkeys, too many tails and too many donkeys, okay? Yeah, pin the weave on the donkey. Too hard to choose.

Oh, so, you know, she's like, I'm the only person who had to go back, you know, though, no, you don't. And also, I don't think that his thing is Polly. I mean, Polly's where you want to be kind of in a relationship with a bunch of different people, right? You would hate that. He would hate that because part of what he does is

like just load down and dirty, cheating and lying. You know, that's like the addiction. It's like crime committing. You know, it's like, you can not get away with it. He just wants to hook up. He wants to hook up, which is different than Pauli. Pauli is being in a, like, a real, real relationship and it's like, you're all part,

I think that would be a nightmare for him to have, like, a second Paulina. That's like, yeah. That is like his, that is like, he already can't commit to one person. Two is not gonna help it at all, okay? So, Resa, Resa is like, you know what, Mike does have a reputation.

He loves attention and he loves dick sucking and photos from women so we can jack off in moments where his tank is low. Like, why is he just getting from one lady? Bitch be like, give him the dick sucking attention, bitch. Um, wasn't your boyfriend just having nude game parties while you were at a town like last season? You fucking have a great...

I don't play Jenga, so it makes sense. So then Reza and MJ are talking and Reza is like, if I could give you a number on the scale of 1,2,10 and how many fucks I give about this bullshit. And he's like overly mad about it, which is weird, because he's also the one who brought it up. Like another of this will tell you have ever happened without Reza, right? So MJ, who is now, you remember when MJ came

to the crappies, and she's like, well, we don't talk anymore. And I said, I'm not believing your ass. Don't even try, because in two seconds, you're gonna be friends with Reza, and like sitting there having the, and here they are. You know, and I know it I'm not believing your ass. Don't even try because in two seconds, you're gonna be friends with Reza and like sitting there having the, and here they are. You know, and I know it's a reality show. It's not like you have to be psychic to guess that.

But still, I just kept thinking about it during this scene because now she's like, yeah, well, listen, you know, he came to dinner and then the whole time he was telling me and Tommy this whole convoluted story, don't mean nice to have a be friends, but stay the hell away. What are you doing? You know? It's like Paulina like how many times You just do it into this same fire. Well, she knows what she's doing. She's giving this information to Raza Like how she knows that Raza is gonna run with it and be crazy, you know, so

So yeah, Raza's like Paulina sent us screen guards and they were like from Instagram or things were like you have to be friends with someone And it's like she is that much of a victim spinner that he can sit there before you and Tommy and tell a story that involves anyone other than Mike. Where is like like where is the thing that you do player? Where I love Raza getting mad at Mike as a victim spinner when in about two seconds, we're gonna see him crying that might got to go to MJ's house before him. And like, yes. So, so MJ is like, well, Paulina's coming. So, you know, I think it would be more respectful to wait for her to all talk about this. So she, so she can speak up for herself, which is hilarious. It's like, we're friends again.

Let's start this shit properly, right? Yeah. So Resa's like, I didn't want you talking about it. I don't want to. You're even in some sort of way that Pauline texts it as. Because now Mike is there. He's like, listen, I don't want to be in a bad place. He's like, it is your messy ass.

You tell your girl to lose my number. I do not want to know shit about your life. You know what, we're done talking. We're done talking, okay? I'm going to build another building, okay? Tell Adam to send me the plans for that Jenga tower, okay? That's what I'm gonna build. So then, Resa's like, I don't want to hear anything

that doesn't start with Mike fucked up. So then Paulina arrives, sort of Jill Zarinesque like, hi. And, Raza is like, you can talk about being my brother, but that's not how you show up. That's not how you show up. Like, what is Raza talking about?

Okay, Mike obviously lied. And you're saying you, like, you can't say, on a scale of one to ten let me tell you how much I care about this relationship and yet you're ranting and ranting and ranting about this. You know um so uh Mike goes out to follow and he's like oh I'm uh going through some shit here you okay you okay okay thanks for bringing the pies. Now go away basically. So she goes into the kitchen and she's hugging everybody. London's like, oh my God, I hear you're a loving nurturing cancer. Not to be confused with Reza,

who's a loving nurturing cancer on this group. So lovely to meet you. So she's like, hi. Just like hugging everybody. And MJ's like, yeah. MJ's like, let. Just like hugging everybody. And I'm just like, yeah, I'm just like, let me go check on Raza. So she goes in there. And it was like, this is the fool. He's making problems across the board. And I don't care what stories. He was just, I, I don't need him to make a problem and an already in front situation. He was there telling glass in the house I haven't even visited.

It's a situation already? Dyer! Was your kid here? When he was having dinner was he there? He was asleep. You have a restraining order against Tommy. And also why are you crying? What happened?

Why are you crying right now? Nothing happened. You're literally crying and he's like, are you wanted to connect with you? Make sure you're literally crying and he's like, I want it to like connect with you and make sure we're all good. We'll be here, you know? And like, and some MJ is like, well, I want to tell you in my heart right now, over the last year, our distance, the pain sits on top of that distance, and that distance sits on top of a restraining order.

And very like more than I'd like to admit, I laugh less. And I feel like life was just so sweet and full of so much joy and less restraining orders beforehand. That's just how I feel. Yeah, he's all mad because now she's friends with Mike, which pisses him off. And he's not being, you know, she's not sticking up for him and he's not involved

in all these moments. That's all your fault, dude. Like it's all your fault. He's so ridiculous. It's amazing that this show can come back. You can kind of be like, okay, last year was really toxic. Let's just start over. Give everybody a new chance. And it's already this infuriating. It's like episode three. And Reza is like, he's just, this, this, like all these tears and his hands, you know, his hands do this thing when he's like really making himself a victim where it looks like he is patting down invisible balloons, you know. It looks like little balloons are trying to rise up to the ceiling and he's just patting them down.

And he's like, you don't understand. I haven't been to your house patting down a balloon, patting down a balloon, patting down a balloon. Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh,

Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, Eugh, E Twitter or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife. And I'm Sydney Battle. And we're the hosts of Wonder Woman's new podcast, Disantel. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity view from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What does our obsession with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber,

a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows. It snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums. Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder yeah. So now it's pillow day they're gonna go play

pillow and their friend's sonny is coming. Yeah and I was like is I was like I feel like I recognize this woman. Is this that woman that would they all went to that restaurant that used to be on sunset called like shy? It was like X AI. It's like awful hook-a-lounge. I was like, did they? Was she from that seat?

And it was. And I was like, how is that in my mind? Like I can't keep certain things in my mind. Certain really important pieces of information about my finances, about life, childhood memories, treasured stories, and yet I can remember Sunny went with MJ and Gigi to shy on sunset and they got into a fight. How is that what stays in my mind? I didn't remember this at all. I mean, they showed the scene of that and I was like, oh,

I think it was one or two. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes early onset Alzheimer's or whatever I have is good. It's good when it comes to shots, memories. I feel like if I held all of these seasons in my brain, I would just be having nervous breakdowns. Well, they do become like a mush in between like the middle seasons of shots are kind of like a weird flow where it was like these people. I feel like ever since Lily Golichi, it's been kind of this strange flow of faces and people. You had Bobby and Antifa and you also had Shervin and there was the Sarah Sara last year, you know, all those people that you're like, who? What? Well, not sure. Sorry. Sure, when his, sure, when his special and he is not part of the, he's not part of them like the, the haze. Sure, when his special. Yeah. So, Resa explains to

Sunny, he's like, Sunny is the best in the business. The ultimate Iranian event planner. I was like, out. Are you turning on on Destiny? I was like, she's right there, Reza. I'm not a whole geez. Also, Paulina needs nipple covers and Nima is being like very annoying this episode. He's just like, he seems to think that more people seem to care about his relationship with Gigi than they really do

because when Paul, Paulina needs nipple covers and then someone says, oh, maybe Nima can you ask Gigi for them. He goes, Oh, I mean, GG and I, we haven't talked for a while. I mean, last time we hung out, we made out a hot tub like an albicom be like, oh, got a nipple stickers. Am I right, everyone? Am I right? I think we're all laughing about this, right? Right? No, no one's laughing. No one cares. So then Gigi and Sunny are talking babies. Sunny's like, wow, so you had a baby. So they let you do that. That's amazing. There's no laws against. Oh, well, good for you. Good for you. And then we see a clip where Sunny, send Gigi got in a fight. Yeah, I don't really understand what was the fight.

I don't it was it was years ago. I just remember where it was just you know it was a typical GG fight. Also, Ronnie, you did you did sort of skip over something really important, which is that since it when we found out that they were going to pull you skipped over the power of Resa one. Polo! Polo! Polo! Polo! A bunch of- You said say Polora, who was the girl who was being cheated on by Mike! I don't want to talk about it! A bunch of Persians and Horses? Yes!

Polo! Polo! Do you know who my favorite actress is? Her name is Terry. Polo! Polo! BITCH! B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- We have to be nice now, right? We're mothers. So they're like, wow, I'm a mother. You're a mother? Wow. We're mothers. Sunny looks deeply bored by the entire thing as the rest of us are, but she's kind of like, why am I talking to this monster?

Yeah, so Gigi tells her that she used to donor and Sunny's like, well, you know that sometimes the easiest way and Gigi's like, no, it's a selfish reason really, because like it could be perceived as selfish, but like it's because of my inability to be in a relationship, you know, I chose not to give my son a father because like, I can't. And she's like, yeah, but maybe you just couldn't then, but you might change your life now that you have a child because that makes you a better person. So maybe a child will make you a better person. And then

you can be good enough to find a man. It's always important that children are brought into this world to serve that purpose, you So maybe a child will make you better person, and then you can be good enough to find a man. It's always important that children are brought into this world to serve that purpose, you know? Like that's really good. Also, I really appreciate Gigi making herself a victim of the pregnancy that she found early in bark dawn, like I don't understand.

Like, she's like already, like, she's already like a victim to her own child. In the sense, she's gonna grow up and he's gonna resent me and say that I'm selfish. I'm like, well, yes, because you are in general. But I felt like she was trying to get sympathy for a situation that she, like a perfectly fine and normal situation

that she decided to pursue. Like, okay, you decided to become a mom on your own, that's great. Why are you trying to make us feel like, oh no, her child hates her. I've always been a single mother my whole life. Yeah, there is a little bit of that. And she doesn't have anything to worry about. I mean, maybe you didn't have a partner, but you have your parents and your sister. Like, you basically got to, you basically got a village,

and it's a very rich village, okay? It's a very rich village. It's a very rich village. It's a rich patient village who's, you know, probably been stabbed multiple times and still loves you, okay? It's a village you can afford to refill those gigantic candy bases.

Yeah. And there's a village you can afford to refill those gigantic candy bases. And there's a cat and a dog. So, a rockweiler. So now everyone's heading off to, now they go off to Polo and there's like no air conditioning in the van and so of course Gigi starts to freak out because if there's an occasion to do so, she will. And she needs air conditioning and rest. And I was like, I love traveling with Persons. Ah! So it's so crazy. Like why people, they don't care about no air conditioning. Okay.

Like that is so white to like not even care about air. But to meet air conditioning thing that's so person It's a Gigi starts climbing over the seat. She's like I'm feeling very stuck right now I'm feeling very stuck. I'm very stuck. I can't breathe. I Bitch be like climbing to the next row and I'll be like bitch you're leaving me here alone like bitch like what is going on with you bitch like bitch, like what is going on with you bitch? Also, study is talking to the party planners back at home. And she's like, okay, here's what I want. I want a table full of stuff.

But then I need to share zigzagged. So it's socially distanced. Oh, okay. And then we catch them all. So it's all smashed together and starting like sweating and getting, you know, molecules everywhere. That says so much about the sweating and getting molecules everywhere. That says so much about the last year in this country. It really does.

It really does. It really does. It's a great reminder that everyone should get vaccinated. It really is. They get to the polo place and they're like, this place is beautiful. So they go up and they meet this like group of Apollo instructors who I love and I would love to I want them to have their own

web series on BravoTV.com because I just I was into them. There's pretty much just like an older lady named Connie, right? And then like other and other ladies and then a guy and they just were kind of churly, but you know, they talk so much shit and get drunk whenever one leaves. Yeah, or they're drunk right now. Nobody really knows because MJ is like, um, I was really like loving my shoes, but I'm not comfortable. Like I don't have boots in the ladies.

Like, I got some minds for you, honey. Okay. Connie, the polo instructor is like, okay. And guess who else is here? Angel. Our number one player. Okay. He's the Michael Jordan of the this square mile radius. So anyway, you guys, okay, I'm going to select your horses, beast on your riding ability. Okay, one timer step forward. Mike, note you are in the two timers category. Hey, yo, hey, yo, hi, five, anyone? Angel? Angel? All right, Paulina heard about you. Just lay down and let everybody

trample all over you. All right, how that's going to be your job today. So, um, yeah, so they are. So they're asking like the different experience levels and Destiny says that she's like, I wrote for two years when I was a kid to lay, lay, lay, lay with the horses, and then Raza's like, and if the right stallion knocks on your door, you know, bitch be like riding more horses, man. Bitch be like, so then Connie's showing them how to use the mallet. And she's like, yeah, I got to change my shoes.

So she goes over there with another lady and a lady can't pull her shoes off. So she's like, just put your foot on my ass. Put your foot on my ass. I know. It was so good. It was so good. And like, I just would not come up like, come on.

Come on, you're so good. It was so good. And like I just would not come up like, come on, come on here. So, um, now that most of them are on the horses. So Reza, Pauline and Mike are not, Mike, Mike is, Mike who is not on a horse or doing anything. His shirt is soaked through with sweat. Like it is soaked, you know, um, I guess there really was no air conditioning in that van. So then, um, so it brings your sweating no matter what I can. I guess that you go there to die because when you're that old is the only time you can stand it, you know, because you're always cold when you're older. So I guess that's the reason people go there when you're old, because that I can't

take that place as too much. And London is that kind of friend who just walks around being, you know, a fucking hang in their cat poster about every moment in life. Yeah, where she's like, I'm a life therapist. So here's what I have to say about this. This is a new life experience that is going to expand our life. A new life experience is opening a new bottle of wine. So then Neema is like, holy shit, I'm a polo lounge Beverly Hills kind of guy.

I have skinny pounds on. I can't with this. I can't. Hey, Neema, Neema, stop being awkward on the horse. Stop being awkward on the horse. I'm gonna lead Neema's horse. That's what I'm going to do. Okay, I'm taking the horse.

Okay, Neema, we're gonna go a little faster now. Mike Do not run do not run bro bro Mike my dude Mike bro. Don't run bro. Dude bro bro bro Dude don't run. It's a horse. I'm like it's a mic. How fast do you think it's gonna go? The horse is leading Mike at this point. So Paulina is just watching this, like Paulina, you know, just like resting Paulina face. Just like, It's like is she alive? Someone take a pulse? Yeah.

So, Resa comes over and fuddles around at the bar and he's like, oh look it's Paulina. Paulina, I just want to tell you that I know you guys went to Tommy's and I swear to you, I do not care about the text or the emails or the WhatsApp or whatever. I just care that you make him happy. So please take him to therapy and keep him happy because we have to validate Paulina's feelings because she's the first one to say, bitch, no, you better step off. So Michael is to make sure she does not go away. I'm like, I don't believe anything that he's saying.

I don't know what his end game is. I don't know why he wants Mike to be with Paulina, and then maybe just so that way they can torture Mike some more about his infidelities. But I don't believe it. I guess reasoning didn't even make sense. Like, she's the first one to say, this isn't everybody else. It's you player. I don't know what he's talking about. But Mike notices the first one we saw to say that was Jessica, who you also befriend to get Durd out of her and use it against strike. And then jump her the second you didn't need her anymore. So then Mike and so Mike sees Paulina with Resa and he realizes this is dangerous. He's like Paulina Paulina.

And then he goes he's like Paulina is like a beautiful deer. You know a beautiful deer that you kind of want to fuck but you kind of want to fuck other deer instead too but like you lie to the first year and you're like, no, you're my favorite deer, you know? And then you're like, is this deer even alive? But then you realize it's just to head this nail to a wall and you're like, I was just trying to fuck this dead deer. Oh my God. Because that deer met with Resa and Resa is like that alligator that's crawling in the grass

and like before you know it, like, you know, the alligator is like texting with the deer. And then you're like, why is my deer have a cell phone? And then you say alligator, like your map row alligator, but like, you don't know this deer, you know, that's what it's like. Before you know it, you're being deep-throated by a pelican. Like, what is this? What is this forest you're living in, sir? I know. Into the woods we fuck we fuck. So everybody he sees them he's freaking out. I'm like a friend. 90s. Paulina Paulina. And he's like running over there and he's like the sneaky motherfucker. So he marches up to them and he's like Oh here I am at the bar. I'm just going to move some cups around. Oh yeah, look at that. Oh move the cup

Oh, look, Helena. Well, here's what I wanted to tell you. I want to move a cup. I'll move a cup over there. Oh look at that I like that he's mad at Resa saying that Resa is the sneaky motherfucker when he was the one who just like left her with it like Resa sneaky would be if Resa Actually snuck up to Paulina and dragged her away to talk to her But like the three of them were there and Mike went off to walk around with a horse Like it's nothing sneaky about that. It's just It's so Resa is still totally Resa and he was about to work his magic

I agree with Mike, but Mike has no chill, you know, he runs over there screaming and then he's like, oh, just you know Doing nothing over here at the bar and so He goes to guys want some more beer and breath it goes pardon me and then it's just silence Resin knows what Mike's doing and And he's pissed. And Mike knows what resins doing in his past. And Paulina, I don't even know if Paulina is still alive at this point. Paulina could have died five minutes ago. Nobody knows.

I feel like she was practicing a TikTok dance in her head, like just going over the news. She's like, was it the elbow bumps before the twerk? How did it go? So now everyone on the field is still, they're, they're learning how to hit the, the polar balls. It's a shame that Mr. Thomas Ravner wasn't there to teach them the ins now. It's a polo. But um,

Connie cycle, if you guys can hit the ball five times, you are a hero. And let me go. You know what I feel like? I feel like a very powerful version of me. Okay, if that horse could understand English, I just hope that it would have butteraws. What's the horse? The horse is like,

why am I wearing a blazer now? So the Nima, the Nima's like, I think Persians are more into horse power than horses. Get at my bro, man, bro dude, cause sports cars. And then speaking of which, in comes a small penis mobile, a Ferrari just like in the most showy ridiculous way arrives.

And normally I would just be rolling my eyes but we just already know it's serving. And it gets like a whole like guitar saying like And I'm like so it's so Shervin, but I love Shervin that I just allow him to have this ridiculous display of masculinity Yeah, he's like say whatever you want about me. I'm rich. I'm rich as far because Shervin always he's like he's like oh sports car Hey guys, how's it going guys what on this guys Not everybody Yeah, Ferrari comes in driven by an area rod who turns out to be Shervin and

MTA runs up to him and like tries to get him first you know to gossip with the new person and And Gigi is just looking furious. Okay, Gigi, you have a problem with literally every single person on this show except for Reza and Destiny. I'm sure you hate Destiny. And Reza, you're just keeping to be on your side for now. I think it might not be everyone else's problem. And I have a problem with everybody on this show, but I think it might be you, Gigi. Yeah, she's like. She's like, you know, we had a falling out over a business deal a few years ago and like, it hurts my feelings to, you know, the most to see him and not to be able to yell, poops.

I'm like, listen, you can still yell, poop on this show. I think it's okay. Yeah, I'm gonna be accurate. It could be accurate, like literally whatever scene you're in. Also, what was their business was this the weed thing? I think it was the was often. Well, I thought Nemo was involved, but I think it was the was saw thing and that I don't

know like who to thought who to thought that would have gone bad with Gigi's great shark tank idea. Well, I'm sure that he probably ended up doing all the work. That's my guess. Yeah. And it's his money. So now we all go back to the house and Destiny is like, Frankie, Frankie, Frankie, come on,

you're not alone with me and the hot tub, Frankie. And then Frankie finally waddles in there and she's like, oh, hi, she's just like picking out a bathing suit. Poor Frankie's like, what the fuck do you want? Where are you always calling me in here to give me nothing? There's no treat. There's no toy. I'm leaving get a pet Just like put on a bathing suit like what the hell Frankie's like I was trying to find a scorpion somewhere just just bite me Please it's like just take me so the table is set up by the pool and

So the table is set up by the pool and Ressa's in the pool and Neiman Sturvin are sitting out there and Ressa's like Well, okay, so it's turvin so we you know there were a lot of growing pains last night like Resa popped off at me a couple of times and he started calling me bitch, you know like out loud He was saying he wasn't just keeping it internal like a monologue, you know, like out loud he was saying. He wasn't just keeping it internal like a monologue, you know, and but you know what, it's okay now bro, my man, it's okay, but I have not said one word to Goldness since I've been here and I think that we all care a lot about this. Not one word has been spoken between me and Gigi. Wow, what a feud.

Dude, you were not in a relationship with Gigi, you fucking weirdo. And why is everybody so offended at being called a bitch on this show now? It's like, what the hell? It seems win. Okay, since win. So Starvin's like, listen, my feelings aren't real.

And he's like, yeah, but I have a soft spot for Gigi. He's like, oh God, you know what? She gets spooked when she gets close to someone because she doesn't like being vulnerable. Like, don't you guys have a therapist on this show now? Did I really have to come here to say that? I know. I just want to sit with her and ask her what happened? You know, this is one side of beef.

And I'm vegan. Okay. So, a servant's like, well, he must really working those interview sessions. He's really, he's really working those interview sessions. He's really, he's really, he's really making the, the app for it. But see, I'm glad he, I'm glad he quoted one of those, I'm glad he quoted a tea towel for Marshall's for that one. So, so Shervin's like, guys, I just want everyone to be supportive because nights, Mike's birthday dinner

And I just don't want to have any drama whatsoever. Okay anyway, everyone. I'm gonna get into my six foot tall SUV to drive from the pool to the bedroom. Excuse me So everybody's getting ready for dinner and we go to Mike and Paulina and he's putting on under eye makeup while she dresses him and puts his giant gold necklace Around his neck from behind like he's a king. I know and then we see reseg walks up to Mercedes and goes oh Look at your eyeshadow bitch It's me like wearing shadows in the eyes like I'm being followed by an eye shadow and eye shadow eye shadow

She's like well I brought this stuff to have my pants because per usual the hot mess Express and then she's like this is what I missed in all these 35 years and it's Him like oh my god your kids are falling out of this side of your shirt. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa She's like, so how do you feel about Gigi and Destiny these days? Because like, if we can't get to a place, well like, you can't call Cole Nessa or Destiny can't call you or Nima can call me or Mike can't call any of us or I can't call one of you and then another one of you or maybe like I can't call Domino's but you can call Pizza Hut, like I don't know.

And she's like, what are you talking about? Do you and Nima are okay? And he's like, well no, but if Neema called me and said you had a flat tire where there was a zombie apocalypse, yeah, I would go get him. And then I would beat him with the tire iron and feed him to a zombie. And be like, bitch. Enjoy! I thought I'd have a good line for it because I'd probably be too scared. I have a restraining order out about any zombies. So then, uh, rivals to the patio where everybody comes out one by one and everyone's like, Oh my God, you look amazing! Yeah, it was, uh, it was at least a random moment, but it was more, whereas these are when I was like, Oh my God, girls, girls! This is more like

Tonight I don't have to I don't have to drive and the turn up is real I'll be drinking 1942 and the rocks just basically announcing that he's gonna be as messy as fucking possible So yeah exactly am I am I cuz like oh so nice of you to invite JLo and Cindy Loper, because Gigi has curls in her hair and Destiny is wearing a little bit of green, you know, and Destiny is like, thank you, boo, because Bishfield's good. Bishfield's good. So then they're served grilled artichokes. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, can I also just say that it looks beautiful and everyone's like, Sonny, oh my god, this is great.

And Sonny goes, oh, thank you. I mean, it's so simple. It's so simple. Like, you know what, slide your shot up. It's not simple. Okay, it's not simple. Fake modesty. Yeah, it's simple when you get to tell everybody else what to do.

So artichokes. Artichokes. And he was like, I don't know how to eat an artichoke. I mean, is there an art to this choke? I'm in one side of beef with artichokes and the artichoke is vegan. Am I right, everyone? So I'm just like, okay, so this is what you do. You pluck it out, okay, and you put in your mouth,

okay, you put this on your tongue like this. And you go, my tongue has been in worse places. Am I right? It works. I'm making a joke, perhaps, about kind of lingus or eating out someone's asshole while you're trying to explain art jokes to me. What a hilarious moment we're having. And as it goes, guys, you know what I want to talk about? Let's be insects!

And London says, oh, okay, well we should talk about our biggest sexual fantasies. And it better include at least two of the ladies at this table. Yes. Oh no, oh no. Connie does count. Well, um, okay guys, all go because I'm a lesbian and I have a sex fantasy. Okay, everybody, first of all, what's more fluid? Me or that pool? Okay, feeling good. Let's get it.

Okay. Um, here's my fantasy. I'm using my girlfriend. Okay. We're in an Italian restaurant. It has a white tablecloth. There's bottles on the table with olive oil. There's vinegar and a saucer. She sashes from left to right. She's wearing a tight dress. Yeah, no lighting to wear. Yeah, did I mention it as in olive oil? Yeah, there's Edison bulbs. I look briefly at my phone just to confirm the Yelp reviews are at a solid four and a half stars with 867 reviews. And just to make sure I'm okay, I go to Zagatz and I find out that this restaurant has quote unquote nice ambiance and quote unquote lovely olive oil. But quote unquote, don't forget to try the quote unquote vinegar.

quote, don't forget to try the quote unquote vinegar. As we sit down, my fingertips grays her thigh. And I think I charged the Tesla yesterday, it has 160 miles. I've only driven 40, but it was sitting out all night. Are we going to be stuck here without a car? I wonder to myself, will there be Chibata or will there be Focaccia as my heart starts to race at the thought of either one. This is a pornobit! This be like the most pornobit thing that I've never seen pornobit be like. So London goes well the rest of the fantasy goes I'm grazing her thighs up and down, whispering, for God's sake, into her ears.

Well, is this a sex fantasy or a filini film? When can we get to this istering? So then they start showing, then they start doing this weird, they start doing like a black and white effect to make it look like a filini film sort of and they're showing footage, they just show footage of turtles having sex and black and white. I'm like, can we get Mike's fantasy out of here for a second? So funny.

And so London goes. And then the waiter comes and breath goes, the waiter, you can't have new characters. We don't know about this. Bitch, this is bad storytelling. He was like that. That was the most unsexy fantasy of all time. I thought she was gonna talk about Mipple Clams and Squirting and Strap Hards.

And watching Ellen and reading poetry with Strap Hards on. I'm like, that is like the male version of the lesbian fantasy right so So then I'm just like guys mine is one word and it's very disturbing. It's very very simple Temporpetic. I mean gang bang I'm probably gonna go, oh my god, that was mine. That was mine.

At which point, Raza just flings himself out of his chair onto the face and he's like, my Valentino. So Raza has to go change his clothes because he's soiled his. And I'm just like, yeah, like a football team like a lot. Yeah. Now they're back and they're talking about horses. And MJ is like telling the girl, like she's talking to horse with destiny and JG's like, oh, so you guys are good now. You guys are good. And she's, well, you know what? I missed out on a lot of stuff last year

that I'm never gonna get back. You know, I had a baby. I'm never gonna be able to have that twice. I'm never gonna be able to rewind the clock. And of course, Gigi is, you know, very hostile and responds by saying, well, how does that affect this situation? I'm wondering about the actual situation we're talking about and not about your baby or whatever.

Yeah, it's like, so you miss out on that time but not the actual situation. So what do and not about your baby or whatever. Yeah. So you miss out on that time, but not the actual situation. So what do you have said about it? So I'm saying I had a baby and I won't have that twice or be able to rewind the clock. How does that really, how does that really, you know what, I'm sorry with what you went through, but like, um, this is the situation. Okay. And I'm just like, well, I'm in the middle of talking about my feelings.

And so Gigi goes, oh, so you went into some victim role. All of a sudden says Gigi, truly the biggest victim we've ever seen on this show. Next to my next to MJ, next to, okay, everyone. Yeah. So she says that she was into it with Destiny and Aliya Shuri last year and in trying to bring Resan Adam down, but then she tried to throw Destiny under the bus and blame everything on her.

To which I say, which already said last year, but have to clarify, because it's a new year, who cares, Adam was doing that stuff. Aliya Shuri was accusing him of doing that stuff. And Destiny and Mike are the ones who brought it up on camera. Period. Since he was in jail for telling them to, but who cares, and Mike are the ones who brought it up on camera. Period. Since one thing MJ for telling them to, but who cares? There's still the ones who did it.

What are they? Robot. And since when does GG care so much about Destiny getting thrown under the bus, about anything, GG spent a chunk of last season, I believe being mad at destiny for no good reason, or maybe it was the season before either way. Like since when does GG ever care about that, that the only reason why she why she is claiming to care so much about destiny being thrown under the bus is because she just wants an excuse to hate MJ. Yes. So she's like, what don't we just talk about your situation then? She's like, I'm trying to like, take down. And he's like, why are you being hostile? Okay. What is going on? Um,

you just keep saying fuck over and over. And that kind of makes it sound hostile. She goes, oh, because I'm saying, fuck, well, fuck, fuck. There you go. Fuck. Yeah. Just anyone who thinks cheesy's changed a whole lot. Okay. Exactly. She's not doing it with a knife in her hand. So that's, that's a step forward. But yeah, and MJ says, well, it's your attitude that's being negative and GG responds by saying, well, at least it's not my actions. MJ says, okay, you're perfect. You're perfect. So basically nothing is resolved.

So then, like, guys, guess what? There's some entertainment coming out to act surprise and spread the love. So then a fire eater comes out which prompts destiny to give us some good old fashioned. Vy,y,y,y was like, I can't do that. I burn myself with a steam or he goes, he goes, Oh my God. Oh my God. And MJ whispers to someone because this is what neymar sounds like when he's having sex. Oh my God. Oh my God. So he's done, which is kind of like the weirdest entertainment ever. It's like okay. He's done he leaves. So then Mike comes out or a cake comes out Mike's like, oh look happy birthday

to me and then it's the saddest happy birthday song ever. And of course it's like happy birthday. Happy birthday. Even I can't even do it. Happy birthday. Mike's like, okay, okay, Valena, stand up with me because I have to give a speech. I want to read it to you. I love you all, okay? And Valena, thank you for being my partner. I learned so much this year. There were struggles.

And I learned that honesty is the best policy. So I want to take this time to apologize. I wasn't honest. I was honest to the girls by the poor who said, do you want to fuck? And I said, I don't have a phone. I have a phone. I want to apologize to Nima for saying,

I would never eat Thai food in this car when I actually left some Saat Te Tufu under the seat if you're wondering why it's not I'm sorry, bro Bro bro my dude bro dude listen Some of you were involved in situation Had to do with me and Paulina I Partook in appropriate text in in appropriate text messages with the female I partook in inappropriate text. I just say I texted some you say, I partook in inappropriate text,

I texted some other girls, okay? And I tried to lie to you guys because I was trying to say face, because look at my face, isn't this the face you want to say? Isn't this the big face, right? So, maybe she's bored with it. Maybe she's bored with it. Maybe it's Michaeline, you know?

And I fucked up. And this was a moment of weakness. And I did something I shouldn't have done and I almost lost the most important person in my life, but luckily she's pathetic enough to stay with me despite all that, you know? So I've had like shit the past couple of days because I was holding it in and I was fucking it was fucking eating me alive Well also I was I was also eating myself alive. I was a lot of good food out there last day, last day, you know. So I want to eat food on your arm. Okay, Thai food on your arm. You will start to eat it. I'm telling you, I'm warning you now, everybody is my friends. I'm telling you right now. Okay. And you know, I wasn't being honest and I want to apologize. And I'm glad that we've

worked it out and overcome it because the truth is that if you give a speech like this and you put it on, you know, totally speak like this and have an inflection like this and sort of pause after every sentence, it shows that you're a changed person. So I promise it won't happen again. And Gigi is all mad. She's just like looking at her makeup mirror pretending that she's like redoing her makeup through the whole speech. And he's like, yeah, you know, some of you, you know, you were involved in another situation that had to do with me and Parlina. And you're going to laugh, Gigi, you're going to love this. And you know what Gigi, keep those smiles, baby, keep smiling because I'm going to drop something on you right now because there's

just a snake in this group. And he's trying to ruin my relationship with Parlina. It's like, Oh, God, you're a snake. The one ruining your relationship with Paulina first of all and Paulina what the fuck Paulina is just sitting there like Exactly that's this is that's exactly right so we the cliffhanger is who is the other person and who is this Nick? I mean, I'm assuming it's Reza, but then apart it also sort of sounds like Who is this Nick? I mean, I'm assuming it's Reza, but then a part it also sort of sounds like Like there may have been a threesome of some sort. I'm not sure But I don't know who in that group would partake in that threesome Well here it sounds like he's about to blame Gigi, but then the previews are all Reza going How is this my phone?

Yeah, I'm guessing it's Reza as usual. Yeah, Reza probably did something Yeah, I'm guessing it's resa as usual. Yeah, resa probably did something. Yeah, it was the way these seasons go. So we'll have to wait till next week for that cliffhanger to resolve itself. In the meantime, tomorrow we are back with Real Housewives of New York. And if you're looking for below deck sailing,

this week it's just gonna be part of this bonus episode where we're just gonna talk below deck sailing, top chef and Mary to medicine. So if you want to listen to that, it's gonna be at patreon.com slash watch what crap ends. And, but we'll have blow deck, blow deck will be back next week, but just this week because of Memorial Day weekend, we just are not gonna kill ourselves over cramming

in every single recap. So that's the news guys, and we'll talk to you on the next episode. Bye. Watch what crap ends would talk to you in the next episode. Bye! some errands with Emily Eriens. Aaron McNickolas, she don't miss no trickle-us. All the Nagila Weber. Jamie, she has no last name-y. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trotch. Jess saying, okay. She's a little bit loony.

Juni, she's always supplying. It's Kelly Ryan. Megan Berg, you can't have a burger without the bug. You don't touch the Nicki Morgan letters. The Bay Area Betches. Betches and our super premium sponsors. Nancy sees into Sisto. Better than tabooly. It's Annie and Julie. Always the wiser. It's Allison Weasler. Somebody get us 10 C's of Betsy MD. We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides. In the hissy with Jay Hissy. We will, we will Joanna Rockland you. My favorite Murto. Karen McMurdo. Kristen the piston Anderson. Let's go on a bender with Lauren Fender. The incredible edible Matthew sisters. No one makes us feel well like Megan Capciwell. Cheese cheese on a bagel, it's Megan Ragle. Mina Kutikutikouji! We are a fan of Michael Lann. Give him hell, Miss Noel.

Shannon out of a cannon Anthony. Let's get racing with Miss Stacy. Let's take off with Tamela Plane. She ain't no shrinking Violet Kutar. We love you guys. La Plaine. about yourself by completing a short survey at wundry.com slash survey.