Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Life Hack

Episode Date: May 18, 2021

Shahs of Sunset is back, and Mike is up to his old slutty ways. Will Paulina get rid of him for good, or will she believe his hacking story? And why is Reza dressed like a ten year old girl in tap class? This week's bonus episode is Top Chef! Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. But when people are running around, they can't just walk. How things might be so much that they've happened. Hello and welcome to Watch What Happens. The podcast for all that crap we just all love to talk about on EOBROBSONKY. Hi, I'm Ronnie Carrom, and I'm with my partner, my work partner, friend partner,

my thin partner, beautifully qu partner beautifully craft Ben Mandelker Hi Ben Hi Ronnie how are you? Did you mean to be such a good partner? Did you mean to excel at podcasting? Hi Ben welcome to Monday honey. Hi yes thank you and you know that Patten voice is a good reminder that if you are looking Hi, Van, welcome to Monday, honey. Hi, yes, thank you. And that patent voice is a good reminder that if you are looking for our top chef recap from this previous Thursday, it's on the Patreon bonus. We were talking about essential workers.

So go check that out if you're into it. Patreon.com slash watch or crap ends. Yeah, that's fun times. Well, that's fun times. Also, we recorded a special episode with the ladies of morbid today And that will be out later this week. We're not even sure when okay? We don't know what we're all given that far. Yeah, just cuz you know, we love them So we wanted to do an extra episode with them because I said yes, we're like, okay, let's do it

Yeah, it's pretty fun. We talk about Kim Richards the cat the Hilton life in general. Kim Richards has one of her husbands was murdered while she was on the phone with him, which is pretty dark. Or Moabid, if you will. And we wanted to celebrate Real Housewives of Beverly Hills come back in the darkest way possible. So there you go. Just check your feeds for that.

That's why we did it. Yep. darkest way possible. So there you go. Just check your feeds. That's how we did it. But today, even darker, the shots of sunset. I'm sure that's a Bravo. Now we weren't sure how this was going to work because last season really was just vile by the end. I mean, it had gotten so toxic. You had resa screaming, you've had 10 portions in your Yoderus broken pants. And Tommy going over there and destroying Resa's outside area and then going to jail over it. And it's just got real, real, real ugly last year. Yeah, I thought it was a great season to be honest. I thought

it was their best season in a few years. They'd kind of had a rut before then. That was pretty dull. And last season was good. I'd like to, even though it was dark, it felt very real and visceral. So, but it did leave me wondering, especially after their reunion, how are these people even going to film? Well, one can never, one can never underestimate this cast. I will say this cast, they do know Now one could ever underestimate this cast. I will say this cast they do know that When it's time to move forward and put on a show they will do it. They will do it. So The season premiere opens up with Mike

It's sort of like a storybook thing. They kind of have a They have a they have a book that opens up and Mike is like Last you heard from us things were not so great And it goes once upon a time, which was great because I was just telling Ronnie before we started recording, I've been really into the woods this weekend. I've been listening to the cast recordings and I watched the musical.

So this was kind of like a really lovely take on into the woods, a lovely sad depressing version of Into the Woods, which is already actually pretty sad and depressing. So well done. Well, it's basically all in Act 2, right? Because Act 1 is the fairy tales. So you see all the happy endings and Cinderella getting her man and everybody's happy. And Shaws of Sunset is all basically in Act 2, where you see that the fairy tale is horrible

and dark and depressing as fuck. Okay. So yeah, we're in the storybook and the first page is MJ. You were a disgusting person. Go, go back to your cheating on your husband. Go back to your cheating husband and throwing a drink in Resa's face. And it all started over some rumors that Adam was playing make a jingo with a really short queen and a fessat. And then we see all like alia shurie and reservoiring water in his face and gg saying, and who started these rumors? I'll tell you, I'll tell you, Maris, did you tell alia shurie Adam was sexually harassing people?

I'm so like, it was a crazy season. Yeah, I'm so began a war. You're generous exploded because you had ten abortions And you know what that's what I did with breaks and planos. I should have broken fucking legs He's walking he's fucking walking The damage spread from Riza and MJ to the entire group and the war raged on and now we're a house divided I'm like, okay, this is not game of thrones here. Okay These are petty people having fights and destroying pottery. That's all this is right now. Okay. Now, when I was probably 21 or so, 22, I lost so much weight. I was like skinny. I think it was maybe one of the first times in my life that I was ever actually skinny. And do you know what I did? Did I celebrate? Of course. Was I happy?

Yes. But the biggest dramatic thing I did, I wore shorts. Really short shorts. Why? I don't know. No one told me, Ronnie, why are you wearing short shorts? Me that of jeans, okay? My point is telling you guys, I hope you're healthy and happy.

It's no excuse to go where skinny shorts, okay? And Reza, I'm talking to you. You know, you know, seeing what Reza does in this episode, you know Reza's that person who loses 10 pounds and suddenly he's in a tube top. And you're like, bitch, why are you in a tube top? A tube top. I don't even want to imagine Reza in a tube top. So, Mike goes, we're a house divided and then all of a sudden we hear Russ go, stop! Wait a minute, wait a minute! There were more things that kept us together than there were things that kept us apart.

Like the fun it was at yelling at Maris, you've had ten abortions! Wasn't that so fun? La la la la la la la la la la la! Yeah Yeah, the removed things together, me and my friends, then we're apart. Like Maris, who I wouldn't shoot with and tried to make everyone else not shoot with for the rest of the season. And Reza is wearing a sequined shirt, which is one of the outfits I'm talking about.

Like Congrats on losing weight. Don't torture me with this. You look like a tap, and I bring this up all the time, but this is totally a tap dance recital for a kid outfit, right? It was like he rated the costume department at the Tina musical. I'm like give Tina Turner her dress back please. So everybody they don't want a fractured family anymore. So let's get back to getting along on Shaw's it says and they have a lot of really bright fun things like this throughout and I'm actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually

actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually

actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually

actually actually actually actually actually actually actually actually I thought it was a really good episode. I thought it was hilarious. And I feel like the show kind of got back to highlighting the ridiculous stuff. I was really happy with that first episode. I really was. So we start with Gigi's condo. And I like to call this scene, and really Gigi's storyline, a coming up this season on Vanderpump Rules.

OK, it's bombshell revelations from someone who's had the first baby in all of mankind. So she's with her baby. I can't believe this thing came out of me. What, no one's ever said that. So, so Gigi's there, she's with her baby. Her mom is like sitting on the floor, just like wrapped up in her phone. And there's this big stuffed giraffe and Gigi is there, she's with her baby. Her mom is like sitting on the floor, just like wrapped up in her phone.

And there's this big stuffed giraffe, and Gigi's telling us, having a baby, it's a trip. My baby journey, the past few years, has been really difficult. So then we see flashbacks of, actually what was very difficult and traumatic journey for her. But in the end, she did have the baby,

and she tells us, you know what? It's not about me anymore. You're right. Also going to be something that will be said 10 million times by Sheena and Lala on Vanderbilt rules. Oh, and by the way, James and Raquel got engaged. So there's that.

Oh, yeah. They were calling it Rachela because they got engaged at Coachella, which of course they did. But like, like, did they went to Coachella, which of course they did. Like, I'd like that they went to Coachella, the actual physical place. Well, as Coachella, even on, maybe they just made something called Rachel, wait, is Coachella thing this year? You guys, it just hit me. I'm looking at that. I got to look up Coachella canceled. Twenty what, 21 Coachella canceled. So I guess they just made their own Coachella engagement party or whatever, which is cute and also less smelly. So that's good.

So then we get Gigi saying you know she's so blessed and you know it's also so bizarre knowing a little human being came out of me. You know like he's calm, he's chill, he's relaxed. I mean he only came out holding one knife. You know kind of hurt but mostly got my sister in the eye so that was good Yeah, so she says that since now she has a baby She had to make a lot of changes So we start seeing like before and after in her apartment So we see this like psychodol it's basically like the Durinda's Bethany Franco Halloween thing with a knife it goes before and then after is the plus giraffe It goes before and then after is the plus giraffe. Yeah.

It's like a little bit of change. She tells us that her love of collecting knives had to come to an end. She's like, I'm just my knives. And now her life is very different. Now instead of just living in an apartment that her parents are paying for while her mom cleans and cooks and does everything,

now she's living in an apartment that her parents pay for where her mom cooks and cleans everything and also takes care of the baby. So it's a huge difference. The baby also has a foe hawk, so that's how you really know that we're in Los Angeles. So then we now go over to Resa and Adam's house and Adam has grown like a mountain man beard.

It's a little bit too much for me personally. Because I'm just imagining all the like trisks that are kind of like caught in there like in a depth, right? Yeah, although actually really pull off the whole bear thing. He looks like a tube of toothpaste with a beard on him Yeah, it looks very much like The beard you put on a kid when they're on a school in a school musical. Yeah, that's great. Yes, you're going to play the bank robber today. You're going to, no, you're going to, you're going to rob the train today in this old western, you know, that's what he looks like. So Adam's making some sort of pie, like a berry pie and it raises helping him. And Adam says that this is his mom's, his mom's famous southern recipe. And he's like, but your mom is from Ohio and he goes, Oh, I

Thought Ohio was part of the South Why does Adam annoy me so much like even this in the process that Ohio is like literally borders One of the great lakes. He's just so floppy, you know Here's my note on Adam. Adam is so gross. That was a note I took. So I'm with you. Ohio is like nearly adjacent to Canada.

How is that part of the South? How? We spent a year doing the house. We were doing a soft-scaping, hard-scaping, landscaping, scape-scaping, hard-scaping, landscaping, scape-scaping, and Adam's like, um, this is very white. I hope that's okay.

I'm like, oh, shocker. Adam's making the widest pie in the world. I know, really. So, um, yeah, and since it's like red pie dish, I'm surprised he wasn't like this pie dish As to remind you the blood that was drawn when Gigi scratched my neck That I love pandemic Adam. We're planting we're dieting and I'm so reflecting I'm pandemic thriving bitch And then the pie comes out the oven and up goes makes me wish I wasn't even I wasn't vegan and

I got like mad at that. I don't know why I totally support veganism and people who are vegans But I know I but I was like at this point I didn't realize what what the pie was for so I was like why if you're vegan Why are you making a non vegan pie and then getting mad about they have vegan butter stupid. Yeah So Yeah, Reza is taking the buy through the sprinklers and knocking on a door It must be really fun to live in Reza's neighborhood. It's like pounding No, and you already just know it's destiny. You don't like as he's walking across street to a door,

like you know it's not gonna be Mike, you know it's not just you just know it's gonna be destiny because of course destiny is gonna, you know, follow them to at water village or wherever they are. So she's like, she's like a bitch moved in next door at a res. I was like, okay, burn down this street. I'm just like light a match. This street is done for.

Where is the forest fire? Destiny, I think, for the first year ever. Well, it was last year her second or third year. It was her third year, right? I think it was her third year. I don't know. Well, she got tons of hate last year. And you can tell because she comes back with that, um,

Oh, are we having fun? We're having so much fun. I'm such a good person. Like she's trying so hard to remind us that she's the good guy here. And she's got like a new face. It just like that doesn't look right yet because it's just so nervous about everybody being mean to her. I liked her new face actually. I liked it quite a bit.

I thought it was, I thought it was very good, but she did look nervous. She did. And she tells us, I'm like a high rise type of chick. You know, I love the security there. But then, you know, I got a lot of wigs and thigh high boots and I don't have a lot of space, which also that kind of annoyed me because, I don't know why.

I think I was just like, all right, I was annoyed because she had a dog game Frank Sinatra and that felt very affected to me like oh my god I love Vegas so I'm gonna name my dog Frank Sinatra because that's hilarious I was like it's I don't like it. It's not funny to me destiny is one of those people who uses her wigs as a personality It's like oh she you know like when it does that I think it's on my nerves to like when it discovered wigs And now she's like, this one's name, her name is Priscilla. And like, good personality, you know.

So Resa comes in and he's like, good me some pie bitch. And he's wacky and fun heart lighthearted to this season. So he puts on her Chiquita banana head piece thing. Mm-hmm. And they go to the backyard, which is, looks great. And he basically begged us and he had to take the house. And that's why she lives across the street.

So now he's talking about how he's really healed and like go things and locked down. And he hasn't talked to MJ in so long. And he really misses her now. And then we're reminded that they faced times like six months ago at the end of the last season about moving forward, resolving things, but it just kind of fizzled out. And he tells, he says, you know, I've dreamt of the day that I would see her son. It's crazy to me that you've seen the baby and I haven't seen the baby. And he says it as if,

oh, it's crazy that I had to be relocated for work to Shanghai. And so I haven't seen the baby. And he like says it as if, oh, it's crazy that I had to be relocated for work to Shanghai. And so I haven't been able to see it. No, it's crazy because you screamed at the kids. You didn't, you actually didn't go to help her in the hospital and you screamed at her about abortions at a party in front of everyone. Don't act like forces in the world kept you to a part Well, and we also find out later in the episode that he's actually extended his

His do not the stir-border. What do you call it restraining order? Yeah, they're restraining order Yeah, it's crazy that I haven't seen him. Well, you have us restraining order on the father Yeah, but he's such a victim, you know, this is Resa like I have dreamt of the day I would see her son at least five miles away from the father Yes And and that's he's like you know every time that like Maris and I spoke she would say rude stuff But we also had a lot of good times love me again audience love me Yeah, these two are just thinking everybody has forgotten what monsters they were last year.

I mean, she was always just so mean to me, but I support it. And he's like, you know what, let me see. Pull out her Facebook page so I can see her son. And she's like, okay, but do not like anything, Reza. Do not like anything, because it'll show my name. And so he's looking through pictures and pretending he's all touched about it.

Like he doesn't have a phone with a Facebook on it. Okay, right. Or a phone to text somebody or call them, right? Or like a Fista. Yeah. So he goes, real friends, inspire you and force you to be the best version of yourself. Then get some, please.

Yeah. Cause I think that was a meme. Like MJ posted it like some generic about like and so he and so he reads that and he's like and destiny goes it's a sign I'm like it was it was like the most generic meme it's not a sign like you will find that on the internet it's what happens and he goes you know what I said very disgusting things and I wish I could take them back and at MJ and I can come together what I can do is apologize for them and rebuild something with MJ because that's who I am.

I am a thoughtful person who eats very white pies. In lockdown I've grown, I've grown. So then we go over to MJ's and Sharon's is adorable. Yeah, little by me. And she gets a text from Reza, Hey stranger, would you be up for getting drinks, bitch? And then MJ reads and goes, what the fuck? So then we go over to Mike,

and he's now in an apartment in Hollywood. He's actually in an apartment behind the Pan Danger Theatre, which is funny to me. It's really all tying back to Into the Woods. And he is on the phone and goes, Hello, where are you my love? Are you coming up? And so you think it's gonna be Paulina? But it's Nima at the door. He's calling Nima his

love. It's funny. It is hilarious. I mean that could be gay. Wouldn't that be hilarious? So Mike's like, oh my god, I wish I was single living here. My god, you just to see this place. There's some hot. It's done by the pool. It's nuts. And then he explains to us, you know, me and Polly are living together because, you know, she's still on the process of her divorce, which I didn't mind while I started dating her. Yeah, it's spending time with her children and all that. But, you know, in the meantime, I rented a place in Hollywood. So, Nima comes over and he's like, what is it?

By the way, this is like, this is 10th house, I feel like, in three seasons. This guy is so shady with his money, moving from place to place to place to place. We better get an update on that construction site that he was working on last season because I don't know what's going on. I don't know what's going on here. Yeah, why don't they ever mention that and what happened to his house that he built or that he did the whole remote model for with Resa and all that. I need more information. Yeah, something's up. So like you said, Nima comes over and which is bad as exciting as can be. Yeah,, he's like, Mike's like, oh, wow.

You know, there's these girls by the pool and they are so gorgeous, bro. And he was like, bro, I've got to leave room for the Holy Spirit in between you, bro. It's like, that doesn't even make sense. It's like a Catholic dance. What are you talking about? And so Mike's like, you know, me and Parlina,

we've been together for three years. And he's like, yeah, so you're floating between places. Oh floating between places oh yeah well you know she lives by her ex-husband and the whole family lives there and so I don't feel comfortable there bro you know so I came to the middle of Hollywood with the pool with girls with bikinis all over it you know just to ensure our relationship stays in a good place yeah bro I don't feel comfortable being around like a cousin of her ex who lives nearby. I'm much more comfortable here around bikinis on a TV show where all this shit gets aired to the entire country. That's like way more comfortable for me. Truly, you know a man is not serious about you when he's like, you know what?

I think I just need to move with a view of capital records and a gigantic pool where a bunch of Hollywood dishbacks live. Okay. Yeah. And he was like, so just Paulina mind, does her brand, is her brand affected by the fact that there's all these pool parties? He goes, no, no, no, no. She knows I'm not interested in that. Like, and besides, she has like spyware on my phone. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

that's to set up my excuse later on about how I was hacked because probably some third-ware software was put on my phone By so it's really her fault good point So Neema, you know, I'd really feel for Mike. I mean just cuz you hang up the Jersey doesn't mean the athletes not still on the game, right? Keep a little space between us for the Holy Spirit, bro I would this is the first time I've ever heard associated Mike with athleticism, but you know, fine. So they go downstairs to the pool and then Mike is swimming and he goes, I'm on the Hollywood diet, which I could be wrong. I'm the more innocent in the sense one here. Isn't the Hollywood diet like cocaine? Yeah, cocaine and with that like fake lemonade that everybody crystal

like a cocaine and crystal like. So when he's like yeah I'm on the Hollywood diet I'm like you just said you do cocaine. Okay little mermaid come back here. Well dude you have massive, massive packs bro. I mean you've got like giant nipples. I've got little dime nipples bro. You're you're amazing packs. I didn't know what was happening here. Also, I didn't what was funny is you were saying you have massive packs, but he wasn't What was funny is that Mike is like thanks bro, but if you think about it, Neema might not have been complimenting him so Mike is like my nipples aren't that big, huh?

so implementing him. So Mike is like, my nipples aren't that big, huh? So Neema says you have to close down his cast and company because of lockdown and everything. So we see a little flashback of him with his account and being like, you have to close it. And then Mike says, well, you know what, Neema, just like my marriage set me up to find Paulina, who is my true love, my true love. Hey, girl in bikini, I just want to let you know, I'm not looking at your rack right now because I found my true love Paulina and Guess what this your casting company closing down that sets you up. So your next business venture is something that you're passionate about as Passion as I am about Paulina. It's like so Yeah, he's like sing right when he says that and he's like eyeing some girl taking off her top

Yeah, Mike, so then we go over to Tommy and MJ I'm writing my daily letter to shim. See a shim such a fucking father All right, you know what right shitting on yourself next time, huh? Cuz you shit on me little fucker, all right? Hey, hey the pot over your head. Hey, that was me. It's like I'm in the room with you. So they're now they now live in suburban bliss. They're they're out of the hills and a suburban home. And MJ says, you know, I always said when I get married and have children, I'm moving to Calabasis, which I love that that's the the pot at the end of the rainbow's calabassas.

Well, through the Kardashians, it's like Kardashian branded suburbia. Yeah. And now they're in a four bedroom, four bath, and she's turned into a suburb snob, okay? And don't worry, Tommy's been working on himself the past year. And you see Tommy just still writing letters. The first time I met your mom I came out of the ober with a big ol' boner. That's why. I can't wait till you're old enough that I can take you to the Metz and you can meet Mr. Met himself or we can meet people like Mookie Wilson and Lenny Dankshtra. Yeah baby.

So now MJ tells us she's been working on shedding the anger towards resa, but resa did press charges and now he's extending the restraining order on Tommy for three more years. And she's like, to me, that feels like he got fucked. Now, yes, but Tommy did do that stuff. So I guess that's within resa's rights. But this is, but don't talk about healing. Don't talk about healing and like time heals all,

but then you're still gonna extend the training order. And that my biggest issue with that last year was, you know, the Reservoirs' right. And I hate saying Reservoirs' right. That's like one of my least favorite things to say. So I hope Tommy's been working on himself as my point. Yeah. So MJ wants to have Mike over and stuff, and she goes,

you know, I really want to have Mike and Jessica over. Oh, shit. Mike and Paulina on that vacation and saying, you know what, I'm so glad I have a nice white boy, because you're like in a pretty controlling situation. Right. And Tom is like, anybody who's used to my little guy

or have a problem with. Referring to chase them. MJ about see ding ding. Oh, so Tommy's phone dings and he's like, all right, hold on. All right, and grateful for my wife. I'm grateful for my life. I'm grateful for tissues by the bed in case I got to come in the middle of the night. I'm grateful for toy at the twig. I'm grateful for toy at the talk. I'm grateful for what. I don't really know what else. I write times up. Yeah. Grateful for walls, ceilings, drywall. Yeah, it's all good. It's all good. I like it all. And MJ tells us that he has an alarm set six times a day for affirmations.

Yeah. And I'm grateful for your caboose, baby. And I just love it because then the rest of the episode, you'll hold just like stop and speak to some. It'll be, you know, just be sitting there and then, you know, all of a sudden we hear the thing go off and he's like, Oh, I don't know. Grateful MJ, grateful for Sham's, grateful for Drake's, grateful for Sky,

grateful for Bluebirds, grateful for Jerkinoff and grateful for the mets. Yeah. Um, so she goes, you know, I mean, what I was saying about Reza, you know, it's just like there's a divide, and he goes, that's not a divide, bro, it's a moral compass, alright? And she's like, listen, I'm just saying that what he did will never be undone, but I'm a new mom. Oh, you know what, it gets my blood boiling.

If you want to talk about those three pieces of shit, you're going to hear from me. That he, that's a piece of shit, all right? She was, yeah, but he just wants to meet for drinks. Resus a piece of shit, go nesses a sewer rat, and destiny looks like the count from Sesame Street, all right? Count how many times this chick lies. Vaman, vaman!

Do-do-do! Three times a lie! All right, all right. Check lies A grave of the count grave of assessment rate grave old grave of big bad not so grave of a snuffle up because I'll say it I don't like him. I don't like him. I don't trust him. Can't see him. I like him So she's like why don't you just go take a walk because you seem very angry He's like why don't you just go take a walk cuz you seem very angry He's like why don't you got my back in my wife? And she's like Okay, let me say this again. I'll never lose sight for a second of who is my husband. I always did you buy my toy Okay

Just you're my husband you come first. I need to have an open Okay You're in my husband you come first. I need to have an open up Okay Okay I'm grateful for butt cheeks cuz otherwise your ass will just touch in a chair alright So now Gigi's meeting up in the park where their sister Laila which is Shocking as for people who have You know paid any attention. I won't say for people who have cared about the storylines,

I don't think anyone has ever cared about the state of GG and Laila, but for people who are at least aware of it, they'll know that this is a big deal, so that they seem to be friendly. And GG has a rot-wilder named Jaja, who wears a Louis Vuitton henky. And now GG is like, this is my new real, real sperm donor, a hot wire, two cats and a baby.

That's my family. I'm like, I'm so glad I don't follow her on Instagram. I just feel like it's just like, means, and like pictures of her baby next to jelly beans. Five months and three days. Oh my gosh. I just fucking GG. It's like, you find out you're gonna have a baby. The first thing anybody does gets a route wiler. You get the most giant dog you can find. Don't worry, she did research. She did research. And we know

that GG is really good at things like research and following things through. Yeah. So Leila talks about how she delivered the baby because it's COVID time. So the parents are elderly and they couldn't go to the hospital. And Leila somehow ended up pulling out the baby. And so she knows the cobwebs that Gigi has on her, you know, private parts or whatever, because she was actually there. Yeah, I almost got the sense that it sounds like, so things started to thaw when Layla showed up to GG's medical emergency when she lost her first pregnancy.

And it sounded like things started to thaw and it almost sounded like GG asked Layla to come live with her, because she didn't want to be alone and pregnant or something like that. So I don't know, I was like, did Layla to come live with her, because she didn't want to be alone and pregnant or something like that. So I don't know. I was like, did Layla deliver the baby in the living room or something?

Like what happened? But either way, there are like friends and sisters again. So then we go over to MJ driving, to meet up with Reza and she's speaking to her mom Vida. And Vida's like, you have to listen to his side and you have to listen to your side and you have to acknowledge your your side and you have to acknowledge your mistakes which mainly are about being terrible daughter.

You need to acknowledge your mistakes like your makeup. It's very bad. It's very bad Mercedes. Very bad Mercedes. You never learned ping pong. Big disappointment. Zero mistakes. He's a knowledge and Resa isn't his new car this tiny tiny little Porsche because he's lost weight

So even his car is smaller. Yes, the scale. You know, like we get it. We get it Like, Resa, you have to get a bigger car to really accentuate how much smaller you are now You don't you don't scale it. You don't see a difference if you scale it down He's in a tube top and tiny Porsche And so we can now announce that the next restaurant to close in Hollywood wooden water Wooden water not a good combination in life by the way you don't want to do that with your wood and have it in the water It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and commercial." Celebrity beef, you never know if you're just gonna end up on TMZ or trending on Twitter

or in court. I'm Matt Bellasife And I'm Sydney Battle, and we're the host of Wonder E's new podcast, Dis and Tell. Each episode explores a different iconic celebrity feud, from the buildup, why it happened, and the repercussions. What deserve session with these feuds say about us? We're starting off with a pretty messy love triangle between Selena Gomez and Justin and Haley Bieber, a seemingly innocent TikTok of Selena talking about her laminated eyebrows.

It's snowballed into a full-blown alleged feud. But it doesn't seem like fans are letting up anytime soon. Despite both Selena and the Bieber's making public statements denying any bad blood. How much of this is teen jealousy and lovers quarreling, and how much of it is a carefully crafted narrative designed to sell albums? Follow this and tell wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad-free on the Amazon music or wonder ya. They go to a restaurant, this restaurant in the valley and it's empty in there and I

thought to myself, you know, this show actually really translates to quarantine shooting very well because they already shot an empty restaurant. So the show, most of the shows run looks like it took place during a quarantine. So this is adapted pretty well. So they get there at this, and I kind of was like, I felt bad for this restaurant because they were like, ooh, a TV show is shooting here. Let's turn on the fire pit.

Like it's clearly like 2 p.m. This son is blazing down on them and they put on a fire pit next to them while they're sitting there. I don't know why, just kind of bug me. And you don't want to do that around Reset because we know how Reset is around a fire pit in the restaurant, okay? That's where that Allie Sheree shit took place.

Last season, remember. He almost threw him into that fire. So it's really awkward and Reset's being fake. He's like, so nice to see your fake smile. And she's like, mm-hmm. And she's squealing her chair around trying to get her to the bowl. smile and she's like mm-hmm and she's squealing her chair around trying to get her like And then they have a stare off and she's like so and he goes what happened

Like we're going in a positive direction and then it stopped and maybe it's you asking for space and me acknowledging a request that was nonverbal. Oh, okay, she didn't just call her. You were just being super sensitive and acknowledging her request nonverbaly. Well, I got a sense that you needed some space. So what I did was I got extended the restraining order to ensure that we would always have space. That's all, just being a good friend.

And she's like, listen, I have no anger. I can say it bothered me what you did last year, but I'm not going to like open the wound, put salt on it, pour lemon on it. And he's like, we're season it was partially. Yeah. I regret and sad this. And then it's all I'd like to say. And then we see a flashback of Vita, the reunion saying, you know, everything is good when it's new except friend. Friend is good when it's old, which was lovely. And so then Reza says, if there's anything good that comes out of COVID other than my pool, it's that there's a big shift in how I want to move

forward with you. Like, I want to move forward a little faster because I'm lighter now. Bitch lost 40 pounds! Yes! Bitch of bitch-be-speed walking towards a new relationship! So MJ is like, okay cool. Well, let's do a birthday dinner for Mike and Palm Springs and Resa. Resa, they obviously also have a mandate to set up this trip. You know, like, this is clearly the producers were like, please, please put forth this idea that you're going

to go on a trip. So Resa really is like so blatant about it. He goes, would it be crazy to get the whole group together? And it's like, well, it's gonna be awkward, but I want to do it. In hopes of bringing the group back together, is that over? Are we having a birthday party? So that way our group that is a house divided can come together? Is that the storyline that we are going to have? Yep, pretty much. So then we go to Reza and Adam and

Wait, wait, I want to say one thing one thing before that Mike, I'm sorry Reza goes, well everyone will come together for Mike because everyone likes Mike. I was like, uh-oh, Mike's in trouble. Mike's in trouble. That means Reza's, if Reza's saying how much he likes, someone that means he's about to go destroy them. Oh yeah, because last year was all about how much they, every year is about to personally hate that year, right? So MJ was the one that they hated last year, and Mike was the one who was refusing to go with it

and stop inviting MJ. And so Reza's gonna get his ass back, and also Mike was behind bringing up the, the one who was refusing to go with it and stop inviting M.J. and so Resa is going to get his ass back. And also Mike was behind bringing up the, I mean, technically it was destiny, but Mike pushed Destiny into bringing up all the stuff about Adam on TV. So yeah, this is the big revenge season for you're right. Yes, just Resa. So we got to as Resa and Adam's house and this shows so funny because they're just they're showing food because it's a shot So anytime somebody comes over there's a ton of food There's literally chips and salsa and guac and they're playing Persian music like look at this person

That's so funny like welcome to this authentic Persian experience That's so funny. Like welcome to this authentic Persian experience. So TG comes over and this like see through Romano singer bathing through that thing. Yeah, Fishing Eddie. Yeah. Fish and black Fishing Eddie sort of thing. Yeah. And he's like, can you believe destiny the bitch lives across the street? And ding dong is destiny in the same outfit as Gigi You guys are dressed in like Dressed in like, dressed in like, dressed in like, dressed in like I was like, oh my god, please throw him into the pool quickly Adam get your pie put it in his face

And Destiny's like, oh my God, we're so three's company. And a fly keeps coming around Destiny. And so he has one of those tennis racket fly sapper things. And so she's chasing a fly around this whole time. Which I found to be surprisingly compelling content. Me too. I love those fly sappers. I'm like, should I get?

Because I have like a bug zapper, but it's just like one of those like lantern type things, I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that.

I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going to be a part of that. I'm not going me on the ass with it like I you know, I can't so Resa It tells them that he met up with me Just a line, just a line, just a like oh sorry So Resa is telling them that he met up with MJ and it was surprisingly pleasant They don't have to become best friends again, but I don't like being in a dark negative place

I said I miss you and she did too. I mean, we have this crazy idea. Wait for it. We could have Mike. We could do a birthday party for Mike. And all GoToPom springs together! It would bring the whole group together because we all like Mike. So if anything would get ruined in Mike's life,

we know it's because of something that he did and nothing that we did because we all agreed that we like Mike. Yeah, and then he's like, we've had so much fun in Palm Springs remember all the good times and then we get clips of them in Palm Springs, a clip of Gigi throwing a plate at Mike and then a bike going, want to pull out a munition

Are pull out an oozy Yeah, we see him the reason why she throws the glass is cuz he goes she's being a Gremlin Yes so much fun. She's a Gremlin so So then they're like but Paulina will have to be there Oh And then we find out, Paulina sent them Mike's text the other night. And Paulina, I guess they're like,

Paulina sent screenshots of texts the night before. And then the question is, what kind of chick has an issue and then goes and calls all his closest friends? I'm like, Reza would do that, actually. That's not only would Reza do that, he would encourage others to do the same. Yeah. Also, Jessica, that's who. Like why aren't we surprised

that any of this is coming from Mike's camp? Especially when Reza had the storyline of getting all that stuff out of Jessica and then using it against Mike, right? Yeah. So now we get the whole story. Yeah, Destiny's like, I'll tell you who a woman who's scorned and hurt Now let me tell you what happened last night America And so they start bringing these jacks

Resils like out of the blue Paulina texted me screen grab after screen grab after screen grab after I said can you make this smaller? I'm thin now I wish they still I wish they still sold razor phones because bitches razor thin and how probably it was this Have perfect destiny goes. Let me tell you how many she sent us one two three One, two, three, four. I didn't even realize that. Right after Tommy said that she has a face of the count. Sorry, I just talked to him. Yeah. Right after he said that she has a face of the count from Sesame Street. So good.

So, um, uh, so I guess Paulina texted them something like once a cheater always a cheater It was really nice getting to know you all but I'm done and um, uh, Cheat, jeez, what Mike was I said cheat because I said to those texts girl by I ain't got time for your all's games Now let me get back to this pie because jeeji was eating a pie when she got the text big pie theme this episode Yeah, and Raza's like Why is it that you like what like what you behave and then that way and then you shit winds up on my Side of the street Raza Don't think that for one moment you were not like we all know you were texting Pauline and like you should you know if Mike

Flex up you should tell us because we will be there for you Tell us the moment he fucks up. You know he's totally invites all that shit on inside the street. Yeah, totally So Gigi continues reading she goes she said to me. I don't play games now That's why I got a little upset. I said you also don't talk to me like this and that's why I know it's bullshit God damn it now stop stop bothering me while I'm eating pie. And she was also, yes, she was also I put the baby down. So she was clearly it was pie time and you do not mess with GG during pie time. So now three hours later, we're at MJ's house and MJ is making some sort of potatoes gratin and Tommy is reading, I first thought that he was reading some

affirmations, but it turns out he was just reading a book called The Greatest Salesman in the World to Shams. Yes, what you gotta do always be closer, always be closer, always be closer. This is life changing stuff man, come on. So Mike and Paulina come over and they're whispering because of the baby so they go outside to talk and Mike is visibly uncomfortable, but trying not to be.

He's like, well, great back yard man, wow, whoa. And she's like, honey, could you move down a way? Oh, wait, your feet are gonna get stuck. They're all moved down into that part of the couch. And Mike's like, isn't that a good wife? She's gonna get her feet stuck so you don't have to get your feet stuck. Did you hear that Paulina? Maybe take it. Yeah, Paulina look at my feet and look at your feet. Who's got the stuck feet now? Huh? So then Tommy's like time I was like, well, I got a new story my kid pissing my face this week. How about that?

That's what my life is really almost like oh wait hold on ding I'm thankful for my kids piss. I'm thankful for my lips that close my lip that's to keep the piss out of my mouth I'm thankful for the little gap in my lips that opens up so I get air in and I guess I'm thankful for the piss that actually got in that way I guess I tasted the piss and I was sort of thankful for that too. I'm thankful And Mike meanwhile is doing that thing that all fucking cheaters do when they're with their spouse in public or their Person in public. They're just rubbing them all over and like rubbing her head and rubbing her thigh like look Look how much I love her and I'm not cheating on her look. Look how much I'm not emotionally abusing her right now Yeah, so my so much like look I have a story

So I started getting these random text messages bros It was crazy. Okay, so they're so random like I don't know who they're coming from, you know And then it turns out my eye cloud disappeared I like a hat and this person who had my eye cloud and Thomas like hold on hold on hold on thing I'm grateful for toilet paper because otherwise I'd be getting shit all over my hand I'm grateful for toilet paper because otherwise I'd be getting shit all over my hand I'm grateful for trash cans for this and there's somewhere for me to throw away the goddamn cheeses fell on my shirt from the goddamn pizza And I don't I say toilet paper. I'm so grateful for toilet paper I'm grateful for that was strawberry last year some of the greatest years we ever have with the meds

What else? Also, I'm grateful to my wife, my son, and I'm grateful for this one here, Jessica. And then, DING, a sign comes up that says, not Jessica, but, yes, Paul. Not Jack. So Mike's like, Mike's like, so this person who made my eyes out,

disappears somehow and then hacks into my account. So this person starts text sending messages back and forth with this girl, and forth with this girl and then he sends photographs and then he sends it to Paulina. Like, and the next thing I know, boom explosion and then she drinks, so she's the real problem here. And then she talks to Reza and GG and like, it's crazy.

I'm like, this and the many seasons of Shahza Sunset, this has to be Mike's very worst lie. So you're telling me, so hackers, hackers, what they care about, the some sort of pipeline that supplies gas to half the country, and also the ladies and Mike's games. Trying to make Mike look bad with some Instagram thought. country and also the ladies and Mike.

Trying to make Mike look bad with some Instagram thought. That's what they're worried about, Mike, okay? And also he's trying to push this narrative hard that Pauline is an alcoholic. Because he's like, oh, you know, next thing I know, well, you know, she drinks a bit. And then she talks to Reson Desi and me about it because she was drunk, you know, that's what she does. And MJ is like, wait, why would she send it to them? And probably, and it's like, well, I sent them the screenshots. And then we cut back to Destiny and Gigi and Resa still together. And Destiny is like, the reality is that Mike is good at pointing fingers and changing partners. So then he

doesn't have to answer to the different partners about his partners. And then she just destroys a bug. It's like, everyone's like, whoa. So then, and then Gigi's like, she's like, well, you know, I don't really see what Mike did as cheating because there's like no emotion attached, you know? So I don't think it's something that Paulina should take personally. I'm like, yeah, I'm, I'm, Gigi, we'll just next time

you're with a guy who cheats on you, we'll see if that logic tracks. Okay, I'm I'm Gigi will just next time you're with a guy who do cheats on you We'll see if that logic tracks. Okay. I'm sure What was his name? What was her boyfriend's or husband's name? Yeah, I don't remember. Yeah, Shalom. Yeah, Shalom. Yeah. I'm sure I'm yeah, we'll just I'm sure of Shalom Evergitt that you would have been totally chill about it. Yeah, his balls would have been around her neck She's fucking crazy So then we go back and Mike's like, you know, from what I saw of these text messages, they were very graphic in nature. And I'm to go, so did you say anything? What? Me? In the messages back, did you say anything?

He's like, I've never texted her. What? What? That's crazy. It's like, it is such, it's's like he's just out of lies at this point. He has he just has to come up with this cockamame. You think about that? I mean, proof that practice does not make you better is my yeah, right? So then we go to Shah's community theater. It's like a big gold curtain. Mm-hmm. And 50 shades of shoe ed the curtain rises Reza's in his terrible glitter shirt.

And he's like, so are you? I don't know, I started writing lines so I'm gonna be fast. I wrote it all down, actually, of course, because so Reza is playing the role of- Oh, they're reading the texts. Yeah, he is playing the role of DM side chick and Destiny will be Mike, so.

You're an ass or a boob guy. Both my fave, fuck the ass and grab the boobs. But what's your preference? Boobs. What's your preference? Long or thick cock. And then also, then she's, and then do you like, that's, then Destiny also says, do you like, well, Mike says, do you like anal? Well, I've done anal, of course. also says do like well Mike says do like anal well I've done anal of course like it or love it your voice which means slow down I wish I sent this photo to her and it's him flexing his bippie and I'll try to suck his stomach in

It's like a ten-year-old black and white photo can write photo. Mm hmm. Uh, uh, please before it's soft, you are God's keep to send me something of you before it's soft. Wow. It's, I'm really glad those hackers, while they were having this conversation. And first of all, great that they also could speak in, you know, farce. Is it not, is it farcey? I forget. But either way, uh, I love that they also know that they also know they they just know how to access some 10-year-old

Newt photo of my like they just Yeah, they went really far back in the eye cloud for and it was cool that they never asked for money You know normally hackers asked for money, but it was cool that these guys just really wanted to see what I was like to live the life of a Baby shoe mogul Yeah so then Tommy's like why won't you just change your number and Mike's like oh, I can't change my number man because you know for 25 years I've had this number. It's my business and

You know like and Tommy goes I changed my number and it changed my life Also did Mike contact authorities or do anything? That's what I want to know. For all of us talk about the hackers, there's no talk about, oh, so then I went and I had to like call these people and I had to call, I had to call Google or like, I had to call Apple. He doesn't have any story about what he did to eradicate the hackers

or that he took any steps to prevent it He's just like, oh, they're hackers hackers who think I'm really hot and then sent my photo to girls, you know So Mike's like listen, I've had this since I was 21 in Vegas and probably even goes Why do you need your contacts from Vegas though? He's like cuz I make money. What are you? Where are you talking like that? She's like, I mean, just save them ones that you make money off of. So then, so MJ and Tommy are basically staring at like, like you are an idiot. This is ridiculous. So MJ is like, well, I feel buzzed and pulling this like, well, I want to feel,

but I want to get buzzed and feel good. And so Mike's like, well, what's wrong? Am I saying anything wrong? Am I saying anything wrong? Yes, you're lying, Mike. You cheat. You're cheating and lying. Yes. Oh my God. So Paulina and MJ go in to the kitchen and MJ is like, so you're pissed because you feel like you got played, right? And she's like, yeah, you know, like, and Gigi, you know what Gigi told me? She just said, like, sorry, but that's who he is, okay? And then she texted me to let her enjoy her pie. And MJ is like, well, listen, you have this guy by the balls right now. And Paulina is

like, but you know, like, I don't want to have him by the balls. I'm like, no, listen to MJ. She's right, you have him by the balls. You better take advantage. And she's like, but I don't have him by the balls and I've never had a guy by the balls. And this has happened a few times with him. And so then Tommy outside is like, whoa, I promise you bro, I've woken up many nights with a knife to my throat.

I believe that. I believe that. Probably so literal. I think he said he would have woken up with a knife. If he had done any of that or said the story, he would have had a knife to his throat. So then Paulina is like, well, you know, he loves attention. He dies for attention. And MJ says, well, you think it's an insecurity thing? As if she doesn't already know.

Like, of course, she knows exactly. She's trying to get Paulina to realize that Mike is a piece of shit. I don't even know why Paulina is still in this situation. It's not easy to have respect for Paulina at this point. I mean, it was bad enough to be with Mike in the first place. And I get that you want to be on a TV show and all that I get how fun that could be, but you're just Looking like a goddamn idiot, and this is obviously a lie, and you know it's a lie and it's happened a few times

Do you think this is just gonna stop? Yeah, this is not gonna stop And the producer asks MJ if she surprised and she just stares And the producer asks MJ if she surprised and she just stares Just stares for a long time and then it cuts back to Paulina saying you know when you don't have trust You have nothing at all and so and she says the reason why she moved into that apartment is because she needed space I'm like Paulina This why are you going down this path? Like everything you're saying says break up with this guy like there no, I don't understand why she's still even in the scene. Yeah, you know what's going to make a man cheat less.

Having him move out of your place and into his own place in the middle of Hollywood. Yeah. You're onto something here. You're onto something here. So she's like, you know, MJ says, you know, it must make you feel insecure and just respected. And she's like, yeah, especially when the girls are fake, had to tell, it makes me want to look fake, had to tell.

Like, well, maybe that's a Jessica explanation. How does Mike get all these people into this situation? He's not smart. He's not all that nice, really. And he's not that hot. I mean what's what's happened? The love bomb. He does the love bomb and I think girls who are insecure or just like have daddy issues or something It just plays right into it right so So MJ is basically like well we could cut off his balls if you want and now she's now pulling is not even sure

She wants to have kids with him anymore Wow And now she's now Pauline is not even sure she wants to have kids with him anymore. Wow. So this is what it took. I'm like, did you watch the first seven seasons of the show? Yeah, yeah, this is bad. So then Tommy comes in and he's like, can you have your bed? Oh, MJ asked him if he's been a good host. He goes, probably not.

I've just been out there yelling. And Pauline is like, yeah, I heard you. So basically Tommy's like, look, there's, Tommy says there's not much else he can do. He's already given you transparency with the social stuff. She goes, no, he has it. And he's like, well, I tried. All right. So MJ goes outside and sits with Mike. And she's saying that Pauline is all pissed and that What about what what what what what what what about what Just about these inappropriate Communications because there's no inappropriate DMs. I get DMs. She's got mad that I got the M's I'm like, well you that's a different story also you said that you were hacked and the hacker was talking to someone

Not like oh you get DMs and she's mad that you get DMs. And this isn't just you getting DMs. You're saying like, I'm jerking off. Please send me a picture while it's while it's still hard or whatever. Yeah. And so then, um, uh, so then, uh, so I'm just really kind of like you, like, you have to make her feel like 100 like you do this. And then Michael's's oh my god it's 10 30 oh oh I forgot it's 10 30 uh a babysitter babe uh we left a pot boiling on the stove oh 10 30 we have oh we have to go it's 10 30 oh oh and so it goes inside and he's like hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey polina, hey, hey, Paulina, it's 10.30.

She's like, what? It's 10.30. It's 10.30. She's like, what? The kids have school tomorrow, right? Kids, remember that we left the ovens on. We have to go home right away.

10.30. Yeah, this guy's mad that it's all this is on camera, but he's the one who tried to bring it up on camera to try and make himself look all innocent in it, but no one's buying it, so he just wants to get the hell out of here. Like, sorry, sir, but you don't get to do that after the last season. Even though the previous season was also spent on the same storyline for Mike, but it's not fucking around, Mike.

Okay, stop. But MJ is like insistent that he eats. So she's like, she like whips up a steak in a pan and then she's like, let me cut you a piece. And she has her chef's knife in the pan, like slicing off a piece of steak. I was losing my mind. Did you think of me?

Did you know I was losing my mind when you saw that? Yeah, I mean, I figured. So she's, and it's so, it's 10.30 and she still has a cook the food at all In the pan and so Mike's like come on Was to to kill a shot so they do and Mike goes, you know what? This is the best dinner party I've been to all year. He's like fuck you man. It's like COVID time come on I'm very happy that nobody got chicken doses because you go to me for 30 seconds

I'm very happy that nobody got a truck at osu because you're going to be for 30 seconds. So then it's Mike's birthday. So they've bought him a little tiramisu thing and And he goes hey, can we text the girls Mike was texting and see if she'll jump out of the cake? Ha, it was a tiramisu joke. What's the problem? Come on? Paulie is in 30 is's 30, we gotta go. Come on. So then Mike and Paulina get into their rubour and Paulina of course is pissed and she's like, you know, you think it's easy singing that position all night and Mike goes, you know what, I cannot stop people from messaging me.

That's on me. Okay, I cannot stop hackers. Okay, this is a world. It's a very important, very important Twitter, okay? That will get hacked over and over again. I can't stop hackers. And so come on, my God, it goes to your drunk. Your drunk. No, I'm not drunk.

You're drunk and you're erratic and you're acting crazy. Drunk drunk. So I, thank you. Because oh my God, she's completely drunk, completely drunk. Holy shit, to look how drunk she is. I know this is full on gas, ladding. She's like, shut the fuck up Polina they're filming us they're filming us. You can't be this wasted on camera Polina come on Please oh my god, they're filming us and she's so drunk on shots of sunset. Oh my gosh

She needs help who's ever drunk on shots of sunset come on Please does anyone have a bag she can throw up in she's oh god look. Oh god blood poisoning you can see it's under eyes Wow really just he's just such a shit human being and he's just so predictable like it's just it's so predictable I mean it almost it's it's hilarious actually because no it's so predictable I think Andy asked questions at the reunion like so is this is he gonna cheat? I think everyone said yes. I could be wrong. I know we said yes and here he is doing it I just did such a blatant Way with such a with such a terrible excuse. I was literally cracking up. I was like I cannot do this

Shaz this is what Shaz does best, you know Yeah, well well Shaz is back everybody. So we will be back tomorrow with some below deck sailing yacht. And, you know, we'll be back also with morbid and real housewives of Beverly Hills premieres this week. It's going to be a crazy, busy week. And if you want our videos, go to patreon.com slash watch what crap ends and sign up at the crap ends on demand level. We do a couple videos a week and also our bonus episodes, including now Top Chef. So find those and otherwise we will talk to y'all tomorrow. Bye.

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