Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: Spoof Paulina!

Episode Date: August 24, 2021

The Shahs of Sunset reunion Part One is upon us, and it's already a mess. Mike has a fit about Andy's "narrative" before announcing that Paulina has agreed to marry him with no prenup and Destiney whines about it with really bad contacts. This week's bonus is a shot by shot breakdown of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City trailer. Find all of our premium bonus episodes at https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensOur Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappensSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchy blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chaz and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. But when people are running around, who can't swap? How can it spend so much time in the back-ends? Well, Hello, and welcome to Watch What Happens!

The podcast for all that crap we just love to talk about on Yeo Bros. I'm Ronnie Caram, and guess who I'm with? His name is Ben Mandelker, Hi, Bim! Hey Ronnie, what's up? How are you? I'm just swell.

I'm as swell as an ocean swell. Well everybody, welcome to Watcher Crapins, the Sous-of-episode Spoof Reunion episode. Spoof Reunion? Spoof Reunion or Spoof Reunion? I don't know who's here. Is it Robot Reunion? Who's lying to everybody? I'm am I engaged I

don't know if I have a surprise or not but if I do is that I'm engaged later and I will tell you later so thanks for being here what a cluster fuck as usual yeah I'm actually really glad to be at the Shaw's reunion because you know it was getting a little at the end when everybody was pretending to be spiritually changed yes we all know that that's a damn lie. So to have the shots back being toxic, horrible human beings, that's how I need you guys. So welcome home. And was it me or was this our first return to a classic

two sofa and Andy in the center layout, right? We've been a little bit, everyone's been in their separate chairs over the past year or so, since the New York reunion was the first one that went back to being in person last year. And now, we've had chairs. Summerhouse gave sort of these little individual benches, so there was like social distance,

but still some clusters. And this one was back to sofa sofa Andy, right? You know, I didn't like it. I have to say, I prefer the social distancing, everybody getting their own chair, being in a huge arc on a stage. This felt very 90s because you know, it just felt very old fashioned,

seeing it done this way again. It's like we already moved on to a new visual I want to see it done the new way Thought a little claustrophobic too, right? Yes, and when they brought out polina and they all had to like share a Bence Gross, yeah, I just thought we're all gonna die. We're all gonna die of some fucking lung disease now You know because COVID has me trained to think a certain way. Like, you know, after you use condoms for a long time and then you don't use a condom, it's just

gross. It's like putting your putting your peepee on, you know, some of this disgusting body juices. Like, why would I do that, you know? Wouldn't, right? You wouldn't. You could wrap it up. Yeah, you can go back. You can't go back to two couches, okay? Yeah. I'm, I it, but it did seem like a little clausrophobic and also the sofas like the sofas seemed like a little Poorly angled because it was not just that they were on sofas. It felt like the sofas and Andy were all on top of each other I felt like they were all right next to each other real close and I felt like they were wide There was repeated to the cameras So it just felt like they're all sitting in a big line, even though they weren't,

the soapas were kind of angled in a classic way, but my memory of it is that they were all just kind of like sitting in all close together, facing forward, and it felt claustrophobic. I just, I feel like they're off their soap far reunion game. I think they need to, it's been a while, and they sort of forgot how to do it, right? Yeah, we're gonna have to get used to the old way and the new times again.

So we open up backstage as usual. Brandon is doing MJ's hair and he's like, oh my god, where's my favorite New Yorker? He's like, patty the pony and come in. Stop trying to make us all excited. Brandon. Yeah. So Tommy's in bed. He's really pissed because I guess when this was filmed

was probably right after the episode aired where MJ revealed that she had texted that video of her being topless to Mike Neiman, Sherman. So it's so Tommy is sulking about it. And so she goes into Sham's room where Tommy's lying in bed. He's sleeping in a separate bed. And she's like, she's like so, she's like, I just want you to know I'll go to the end of the Earth for you. And I love you so much. I'm not going out there, babe. Stop. I'm not going

out there. Her. Unless Mr. Met himself. Unless it's Boogie Wilson himself. Unless it's Litty Dykstra himself. I'm not going out there. He's like, bro, stop. You know why ain't going out there I don't want anything to do with this. I mean, you know, don't bring me into this shit And she's like, don't you want to see what I look like dressed? He's like, no, please leave I don't want that. I want to sit here in a baby bed with my books of self-acclamation And I'm just gonna jerk off while you're there at the reunion, okay? So then we go to Gigi's dressing room and she's like we're like masochism, you know like when you like being hurt And then Ressa shows up in a really stupid man-rumper

Yeah, it's it has some Probably Louis Vuitton or Gucci who knows what what it's but it is he just basically look like curtains but in romper form look like someone made a romper out of curtains and so he shows up and then all the women start receiving flowers because Mike has given everyone flowers everyone is getting flowers from Mike. Yeah because that's what a man does when he's fucked you over he sent you flowers. Yeah. Yeah.'s what a man does when he's fucked you over. He sent you flowers. You know, yeah, what does a fuck boy do? What is someone who cheats on multiple women do?

He sends flowers. So this really isn't showing up his case. That he's a new man now, a new man. And so then he walks in with flowers for Paulina, who's in hair and makeup. She goes, oh, I die. I die. I like shut up, I die. I die. I like to shut up, Polina.

I destiny get to her. It's good. It's good or just. Yeah, destiny gets her. It's good. Oh my God. I know, Polina. I love you.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And he's introducing, he's like, Andy, Andy. Listen, hey, Polina, this is like, Andy, Andy, listen, hey, Paulina, this is my dear friend, Andy Cohen. And he's like, hey, do you think there are misconceptions about your relationship? Paulina, I'm not swimming here because he is the man of my dreams. So is Freddie Krueger, okay?

So Andy is like, well, maybe we'll have an engagement by the end of the night. Wow. Oh. So coming up and then we see the coming up clips of everybody being horrible people. And then we start and he's like, the long-hoeshoes, Steve Mann and I'm Andy Cohen. That means love your new implants in Persian. Okay. No, last year was such pandemic, pandemic,

the monium, I can't believe we put you in the same room tonight. And GG goes, well, I think that people get very busy when they're not in person. Yeah. Well, you've always had ball speed, which help bigger your balls. GG, do you ever get a measurement? Hey, hey, and MJ. Does this reunion qualify as a gang bang? And it's just cuz oh Bobby law

She's like yeah, I'm really into doghouse cuz of that statement Andy and then we get a clip of Tommy going everyone getting along and then you're talking about a marriage being a shambles you send it picks the friends of your boobies you're not hurt me like that ever again. Tommy get off your fucking high horse who do you think you married like Tommy just walks into this like he's so shocked that he's on a fucking reality show about terrible people and And he also one of them. You're on the shots of sunset. Get over yourself. He also acts like he contributes no embarrassment to their marital union at all.

Okay, Tommy, like we are just used to the embarrassment of you. Tommy, we love you, but like, like if like you're mortifying, you know, Like if like you're mortifying You know So destiny did you drive your car boys? I'm really enjoyed watching you wash poison and then we get that clip of destiny So this is Andy Cohen's fault why we've seen this flashback 12 different times in season because Andy was like, yeah, I like that washing poison. That was great. Hey, Reza, you told me you lost 75 pounds.

That's incredible. Yes, don't stop, get it, get it. Yeah. Reza Koshan, a demon. And TG's like, yeah, I'm doing amazing, Andy. He's like, whoa, GD, you have that motherly glow. Doesn't it, does your baby still look like Mike? And she's like, I don't see that.

I don't see that. I don't see that. Spook baby, spook baby. Hey, Nima, looks like the teeth are settling in, which is such an asshole comment to say. And he's like, he's like, Oh, Andy, I guess this is our thing every time I guess this is the brand that we built together, right? Okay, he never speaks to me again. Reza and MJ, what got you to the place where you're now sitting next to each other in the couch? Because truly no bullshit. I left that last reading thing that maybe this was the end of Shaza Sunset.

Well, Ampie, I called Bresa very early the next morning after that, you texted me. You didn't call me, you texted. Uh-huh. And then we spoke on the phone. Yeah, that is true. Glad we got that down pat. Yeah. I was worried. I was like, wait, what happened if they called and then texted? This changes the entire story. Yeah. Also, the problem with this dynamic today is not just that you couches is that they've put Gigi on the end of one couch and then MJ and Reza sitting next to each other. That's not how the show works. Okay. Yeah. I mean, it's off. It's off. I need a Reza anti MJ, right?

They should have been at the head of the couches. Well, it should be that that is correct too. And like the whole thing is that the seating arrangement should reflect who is fighting. So it's always supposed to be, you know, people against each other. So really in this case, it goes back to the original statement, which is that they should be in chairs all facing each other in a star-shaped pattern because they all hate each other. Yes. So that's where they're sitting. So then Andy's like, wait what happens here? I'm sorry. Well inspired by the beautiful backyards this season we've created a beautiful oasis. Resza, you did a wonderful job on your backyard.

How much did you spend up spending? He's like, well, a few hundred thousand, maybe like a few hundred thousand plus, eight hundred dollars on account of a certain person who may have destroyed all the pots in our backyard. Yeah. And she's just like, oh my God, he has a cactus that's like 20 grand.

I mean, just one cactus. Ah! And he's like, oh my God, he has a cactus. It's like 20 grand. I mean, just one cactus. Ah! And he's like, cause everyone been over, including MJ. And she's like, no. And you know what, Andy? I'm not offended by that, but I'm very disappointed.

And it hurts me deeply. Yeah. And he was, well, a lot of that is driven by the spouses. That's really some marketing decisions that is really spouse driven. And we're really trying to change the way that appears. We want to change the logistics and the metrics of the spouse. Okay, shut up over there, T. Let's go on. Terry from San Diego says, Mike, every season you're in a new house. Are you still in the high rise? No, Andy. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I have moved out of this the

The spoof household into the new household with Polina. We live together in the burbs Yeah, you know, we bought it and when I say we I mean, but lean about it But I also bought it because I live in a two so you know MJ has been there Nima has been there and Gigi's like Is it like Ronchy that I'm eating a cucumber? I'm taking the biggest one. Ah! Yeah, but good Gigi. So, uh, Andy's like, so destiny.

You had some work that didn't you? You look crazy, but a different kind of crazy. You look like a more filery kind of crazy. Destiny, let's talk about your crazy face since you didn't do Jack shit this year. What is with your crazy face? EG. She's like, well, Andy, I had an infestimality on my teeth

and your cheeks. No, I didn't get my cheeks done, Andy. I bet I did have a little Botox, because your face is fuller. Your face is. Andy, we did do fillers, but not recently, Andy. Mike, you say slimming down makes your cock look bigger. Let's talk about that. I said that. Did I say that? Did I say that?

Spoof quote, spoof quote. Yes. Well, you know what? Dr. A says that for every 20 pounds you lose, you gain an inch. And Andy goes, oh, so you gain three inches of your dick. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Method treated knives or passive wires and realize the pacifiers of a whole different meaning Or Or bottle service perhaps because you have to be a bottle now So now we got a gg montage which is like one second long thankfully So who here is shocked that

Gigi is taking on the role of healer and Everyone shocked and MJ's like taking on the role of Healer and everyone shocked and MJ is like, I'm really proud of her. Yes, if she were in the same place as she were in nine years ago, that would be weird. That would be like, that would be like me actually. And destiny goes, at the conclusion is powerful anti-June. Her green eyes look crazy, okay? Look, anybody is allowed to wear colored contacts, but you look nuts. She looks like she died two years ago

and she's still like feeding on body parts to be here today. You look crazy in those things. She has some portrait of her somewhere in an attic. So, Gigi starts talking about motherhood, truly the most boring thing. It's so fun because I'm like relearning things and like it's so exciting to see him learn things

because I'm realizing that I'm learning things and now that I've, you know, I never really understood what you say to a movie at the end of the night and now I've learned, you say good night. You say good night when it's up learned a lot myself. Well, you fell on my podcast that you stalked your sperm donor on social media.

And everyone's like, what? Imagine like, Yarni, well, I looked the night before, but then, you know, the night before the embryo transplant, embryo transplant, just to make sure that, you know, like he's not lying. Like, what if they put a cucumber inside me? Like, I just did. Ha ha ha. God, that cucumber is good, Andy. But, you know, he was real. that cucumber is good Andy, but you know he was real. Yeah, and she's like, and now I never want to look again at Bill Gates. I mean, whoever it was, whoever it was, Andy. So then Andy is like, and I heard that you have a mommy group with Jessica and MJ.

And so, Juju's talking about how she hosts mommy and me classes. And so she had up all her friends and you know Jessica is her friend and Jessica has a son It's like Mike. What do you think about that? I think it's wonderful. It's wonderful. I'm so happy Do you still speak with Jessica? I'm rest of the I was going to motherhood repair to relationship with GD and MJ. And MJ is like, well, like it would have been harder if we hadn't both had babies, but like we did have babies, so it's not so hard.

And GD is like, there wouldn't be a friendship with her if it wasn't for us having kids Andy. So see guys, having babies does solve problems in relationships. What a great lesson. Let me say something. Can I say something? I'm sorry to interrupt somebody besides Paulina because I own her. But listen, when two people are beefing, I think it's natural to reach out like as a

lifeline. And you know, you look at it like she's jealous of your relationship with Reza, Gigi. And Gigi's like, no, I'm not saying it's me. It's just that she's jealous in general of Reza having a relationship with someone. And that person happens to be me. And MJ is like, I have a question for Reza on behalf of my therapist.

Do you transfer, you do transfer extremely obsessive affection from one girl to another? Okay, and that was something that I totally came up with and not my therapist. He was, no, that you're fantasy. Well, first you said that Austin needed a zoo handler and then you guys became sick as thieves and then we see a flashback of Resa being horrific to Asa

and then becoming best friends with her. And then at that flashback sequence, culminates in a shot of Destiny from four years ago and she looks like a totally different, it's shocking. I'm like, who is that woman? Was that, was that Asifa? I don't remember. I was like, oh no, that was Destiny.

Yeah. And MJ is like, you know, like I just find it to be uncomfortable that it's always one person you're like tight with. And he's like, my issue with you is if you always complain, but you don't get it, get it. Like, you're like, why are you posting videos of Kondessa and not me? Am I going, oh, no, no, no, no. This is how breast is.

He was the same way with me. When he's best friends with you, like he calls you every day, he hangs out with you every day, and then when you're on the out, boom, your WhatsApp is coming with crazy things. Yeah. Well, that's the definition being on the out with someone, my, like when you're on the out, boom! Your WhatsApp is coming with crazy things. Well, that's the definition being on the out with someone, Mike. Like when you're in with someone, you talk with them

and engage with them and when you're not. When you're on the out, you don't interact with them. Yeah, that's a huge issue. So she's like, that's called friendship. Yeah, and then Resa's like, so then Resa's called goes to his old thing and he's, we are like siblings. This is a family and we are like siblings. This is a family

and we fight like siblings, okay? Because as everyone knows, when you have a sibling, you will throw the munder the bus and destroy their lives. That's just called family. And everyone expects the pie to get sliced evenly. But you know what? The pie doesn't get spliced sliced evenly because bitch not 40 pounds with intermittent fasting. Okay. Small slits for me. Thank you. Amy just goes right So Gigi you made up with Nima and then you tweeted that it was an explain knowledge show why you were man and that you had Receipts and he's like, oh well, I'd like to hear this because Andy I'd like to say right now that that is not true. That is not receipts false brand. And Gigi's like, that's a great

question. Because Nima co-signed a tweet from London, this chick who's on our show. I guess we know. We're aware, Gigi, if we're watching the reunion, we're aware of London. Thank you. And the tweet said from London, I just want to clarify what I said about Baib when I saw Mike's pretty penis babe. We never shook hands on his penis. Now we just babe stared at each other babe for a while and it was here ago. I made a boo boo. I met a few years ago way before he met my cancarian sweetheart Polina babe.

And so then Gigi, sorry, the Neema Neemaima goes, well, Nima chimed in and said, do not cower to these OGs. When push comes to shove, they wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire. Trust me, which Nima's like, that's 100% correct. That is absolutely in line with my brand. Thank you very much. And that is true.

Yes, 100% true. Yeah. So then, and Mike and Nima were also fighting on Instagram around this time. So I wish, I hope we get into the, the, the, the shalma, the, the shalma, the, the all for sure. So Gigi's like, yeah, but this was after you had apologized to me. So like, I've never gotten into anything with him again. So I'm like, okay, like you could have just texted that if you wanted to.

And Nima was like, well, first of all, here's the real GG. This is the real GG. This is what I deal with. And she's like, if you have an issue with me, don't be a pussy, don't be a keyboard pussy in a basement. But that's like basically what GG does all the time on Twitter, right?

So me was like, I'm talking to you to your face. My brand is, I have an in-face brand, okay, with digital aspects as well. But you know, not all dimensions make sense. Oh my God, I almost talking to you to your face. My brand is Ivan in face brand, okay, with digital aspects as well. But you know, not all dimensions make sense. Oh my god, I almost knocked up my ring light. Oh my god, that's very dramatic over here. My ring light totally approves Nima's brand. Ha ha about to and follow all of the OGs. And he was like, well, yeah. And she goes, oh my god, look at that.

He has to do everything public. Okay. You guys are on the show. Look at what you guys, look at the conversation you guys are literally having right now for your cameras on camera. So yeah, it's like, well, there are moments of frustration. And like, was she made up a lie about me? Okay. And just he goes, yeah, she made up a lie, but, but, but you probably can contact her and scared her and, cause I'm sorry, Michael's talking about London making up a lie about him. And Destiny goes,

yeah, she made up a lie about you, but you probably contacted her and scared her and said something further retracted, huh? Oh, oh, yeah, oh, yeah. Thank you. Thank you for your input. You're wrong, okay? Just like everything else. You said you're wrong. Okay. Like like when he asked you about filler, do you have filler? No, oh filler. Oh, he asked you five times if you had filler, baby. You had asked you five times They had filler, baby. Ha, I like Mike trying to have the the honesty high ground over destiny because for like six seconds, she said that she didn't have anything done with her cheeks. And then MJ speaking of filler and Botox fights, MJ starts laughing like really loud, but the only thing moving is her mouth opens and then the tip of her nose kind of scrunches and she looks crazy.

She's like, oh, and that's like, monkey, why would I eat into Botox and my teeth and not my fillers? And it's like, you know my life better than I do. Oh, okay, you have receipts. You have all these people, you know, okay, thank you. Shut up, thank you over there. And Andy's like, oh, Gigi, you said you had Mike's back and you were upset he didn't go, well, I just birthday.

And she's like, well, I mean, we live a mile away. And he said he was sorry and that he would come but then he still didn't come. Like, I just don't get it. He's like, you invited Jessica. She goes, so. Yeah. but then he still didn't come. Like, I just don't get it. He's like, you invited Jessica. She goes, so. Yeah. And then he goes, did Paulina not let you?

No, Paulina would not mind because I would tell her not to mind. Okay. Can we be honest? Can we be honest for once? And GG is like, no, you told the press I had an issue with her. You call me a bitch. You call her a bitch. Okay.

Well, but I wasn't talking shit. You told me to put a muscle on her. Okay. You told me to put. You call her a bitch, okay? Well, but I wasn't talking shit. You told me to put a muscle on her, okay? You told me to put a muscle on her. That's very rude. Very rude. Very rude. She goes, no, it's not. She goes, yes, eat these Gigi. She's like, well, no one apologize to me for sending all those texts. And I like Gigi wants an apology now. Yeah, Gigi. And then he goes, well, Gigi, did say put a muzzle on her. I mean, that's not great Just okay, no, it's not All right, let's move on or a pump springs holds lots of memories Mostly with mean a swing with a fist in my throat For you guys

40 it's resist proposal Resils wedding whether Reson me you guys saw each other in Palm Springs. Ooh, we're nervous, we're in our mess. And Nima's like, I was excited because Mike told me that Resa was in a place to make a man's. So I was really excited, bro.

Thanks, Stu. Thanks for the question, Resa. And Mike's like, listen, I'm constantly trying to broke a piece with these guys. That's all I want. All I want. And then Andy says, ask Reza to define what Persian polite means.

He goes, oh, when you're like a Mamuni, and you see someone from across the room, I'll just stand up for this. Oh God, thank God I'm 75 pounds lighter because this entire impersonation will be very difficult. Okay, so now that I'm standing, so you want to be polite and then you want to say hello to them. So this is what you do. Not quietly. That's that's Persian polite. So it's being polite.

And he's like, so did you stick to it? And my cousin, no, He called him a bitch. And then we see, go get your nose, thanks, you stupid bitch, fix your nose. Reza could be thoughtful when he wants to be. That can be like his brand. But the problem is that he has a real hard, he has an issue with stickiness when it comes to his brand.

So there's a part of me that wants to keep Resa at bay because I have watched you get so ugly with the people around me. It really makes me question my brand loyalty to the Resa brand. And MJ is like, the thing is, I think we're trying to merge the divide as the three in three. So, our goal is to have a six some and less of like a two some or a three some As six I like a six some so Andy goes. Yeah, well, we should work towards that Sure. Yeah, okay. Yeah, but then like I reach out and then it's perceived as aggressive and it makes me like retreat and shut down completely and it makes me like retreat and shut down completely. It's like, oh, okay.

It's everybody else's fault. Could you please play that clip of Ratsigo and fix your fucking nose? Yes. Just play it over and over. Every time Ratsigo speaks. It's time for commercial. It's time for a crap and it's commercial. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life.

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He once again found his relationship on the rocks Paulina is here and we're going to get her side in a little bit once the janitor gives her back thought she was a broom Whoops, so Reza destiny and gg. What did you think about Paulina sending you screenshots? Did we use the price you knew how to use that feature on her phone? And then we see the screenshots again. It's like you asked or boob guy, both my fave, fuck ass and grab boobs. It does to me. It's like she was a woman squint and she was a very angry. And she says, yeah, well, what do you think that you didn't see the text, but we all did see the text. I get you said that to MJ and MJ goes, well, I'd say as you feel like I had to beg Mike to see him. And then he finally came over with Paulina and that's when they told me their big story. Oh, yes, it was a fake water down live that I told you.

Fake, fake lie, spoof lie. So Andy is like, well, was anyone surprised that Paulina was put this all on blast? And so some of them were Mike Neema and Mike Neema were surprised and Mike's like, he's like, you know, I was surprised, I was upset about it, but looking back, it was a savage move and it was checkmate and she checked me, okay?

But these texts happen on one day in the middle of COVID, in the middle of lockdown, and I never met this person before and she DM me and I started as a friendship But then it got sexual nature. I'm like you've never met one day. It was a one day friendship That's quite a film that you just put out there. It's like it was one day and it moved from friendship into sexual relations Okay, it's like before sunset like what is this? Yeah before Shaza sunset And he's like has that woman reshot to you at all? And Jessica's, yes, all of us.

And all of us shut her down, Andy. Every single, well, kind of. I mean, I shut her down and also sent her a screenshot of me putting baby powder on my deck. But other than that, we shut her down, Andy. I have problems too, Andy. You might remember that I'm also addicted to attention. I don't know if anybody caught that part of my last minute,

11 o'clock storyline, but I have issues too that I would like to discuss. Listen, I was very upset, okay? But it all worked out because Polly Negata daja! Yeah, I love Mike is so clearly still in the dark as because he's turning all this. He keeps just complimenting her with everything. And it's like, well, I don't know if you heard about this, but Polina, it was her birthday recently, so she went to Starbucks to get her free Starbucks coffee.

And she was so savage about how she did it. She said, she walked in and she said, it's my birthday. I got a free drink. I was like, I love the way she just takes ownership of the situation. She's just so savage. What a wonderful woman. I'm so lucky to have her. So Andy's like, well, everybody shut her down. So there's something to be said for that.

I mean, did anybody reach out to you, Mike, and try and get your side of the story? And he goes, no, I'm not just saying lies. I called you right away. And he goes, oh, you called me to reprimand me. You said, keep your side of the road clean. And you said, what the fuck is wrong with you? He goes, yeah, but I said, oh, you called me to reprimand me. You said, keep your side of the road clean. You know, and you said, what the fuck is wrong with you? You go, yeah, but I said, keep your side of the road clean. And then I said, you know, Paulina, listen, you have leverage now

to make my code therapy. So use your leverage. That's all, Raza wanted was just for my therapy, right? And Michael's, well, thank you for bringing it to my attention. And you're right. They did reach out to talk to me, but it was received wrong, OK? So they all reached out and you just lied. And she just, well, maybe think about that

before you make us all look bad. And Jessica's, and not only that, like I didn't even talk about all the other messages that I get in my DMs. And I didn't make any noise about that. Why are you so fucking absorbed with my life and my relationships? Why? Why? Yeah, stop making stuff up. You look crazy enough. And breath is like, Andy, if I could just say one thing, Mike, I love you.

But like, you really don't like, you're the only person in this group who will not stand in their truth okay. It says Raza. It says Raza and so my cause well publicly I want to apologize for what I did okay it was very wrong and I feel horribly that they all had to get involved it caused a divide in the group and I feel horrible about it but unfortunately unfortunately, the fault did not lie with me. It lies with spoof Mike. It wasn't even me. All season long. It just came on my body. I just came on myself right on the reunion because it turns out what I'm addicted to is apologizing. And I think that that's true. I think that Mike, I don't even think it's a sexual addiction or doing bad things addiction. I think it's a being caught and having to apologize addiction.

Because it's every single year and it's always the same thing and that's when he comes to life is when he's like, guys, I'd like to give a speech. It's like, oh, look, Mike's getting the attention. He's standing up and giving a speech at the dinner party. I have to apologize publicly. Oh, God, yes, I just came. I just came.

Oh, yes. That'll pull you down. So then Andy is like, well, so why did you bring up the story of the hacked eye cloud? Oh well Andy So the text messages did happen but at the same time my eye cloud was hacked and it took me four days, okay? And resident Steve jobs is rolling in his grave right now I'm telling you the messages are real, but that's the part that's the worst Why would I make up that part? Why would I make up the part that Putin hacked into my account and gave me the perfect opportunity to give a a smoke screen for me cheating on Polina that definitely happened Putin hacked into my

account and now unfortunately I have to go on to a secret mission to go save for Marigostlavia. Yeah, I have to go into a Yugoslavian vagina to get to the bottom of this. I'm sorry. I'm doing it for the country. So, uh, so, uh, geez, all those text messages and your eye cloud, it gets hacked the same day. Got tough, tough road. Thank God all those messages happen on only one day in the entire pandemic. Yeah. So Andy's like, so who thinks is sexting counts as cheating? And nobody raises their hand except for Mike, so he doesn't get in trouble with Paulina. And he's, which

is hilarious because they all would consider that cheating. Yeah. I would think it would be. Yeah. I would be kind of cheating. Mike is like, well, look, I learned I have to stop and I've stopped. And I would like to make an apology Publicly to everyone I've heard with text messages and MJ's like well, it's not really equal to physical cheating and Andy says what's worse Saxing or naked jenga because that's in person and He says Reza and Reza goes well, I guess it would have to be naked Jenga, because that is in person right. Yeah, I wonder if Mike ever learned the rules to Jenga. I know that was plaking in last season. So Andy is like, well, sexing aside, have you been physical with anyone outside of your relationship?

No, no. Well, one time I fucked up, but I mean the public eye, but no, not physical, not physical. And even that, even that it was only one time at the, it was only one time and it goes one time. One time. And it was like more than once and everyone's like, Mike, it's on camera that this has happened multiple times, right? And so Andy asked Destiny if it was more than once and she's like, Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, Oh, yes, yes. Look at her. She's writing an autobiography. And I'm writing the forward. Never that.

I was like, oh, OK, that's well, technically, she's writing the biography, but that's fine. And so Mike is like, also another thing. Hello, Saksposs. Oh. And then Judy goes, you are going with a woman. Stop. Stop.

So that's exactly what now all that's off buddy you know it's such a small world like he's trying to get with two of my girlfriends Andy and don't even like lie about it he goes oh what an Arizona right I was already back in my room that day she's Arizona this happened in LA don't play with me my guess like literally that person in the very basic mystery you know when you you're just learning about mysteries, like it's like the young adult mystery and you learn like how people get caught and it's like, hey, did you steal anything and someone goes, I wasn't even in the cookie jar. Like I never said anything about cookie jar. Like that very basic tell from a murder mystery or a cookie mystery in this case.

That's what Mike just did. Mike's like, I know that he met with people. What do you mean those girls in Arizona at the hotel? I was at Minutra Calf. It's like, you didn't even talk about that. Oh, not the girls in Arizona. Oh, the girls I supposedly fucked at that behind the ice hockey. The ice hockey rink.

No, ice hockey. What are you talking about? Not those girls. Oh, really? Oh, so the girl that gave me a blowtop and the ice cream shop. Really? That's what you're gonna lie about now. No. Oh, you mean, oh, you mean the girl I met this morning at the hotel that we're staying at?

No. No. Because no, the doll of us, of us, of us. Very specific examples of false things. Do you just, um, Ellie all things. Ellie don't play. Ellie don't play. I'm not a liar and I'm not fake. Oh yeah, look at you and I fake it all. She's like, and you should think me for nothing.

Anything before this. Why would he thank you, Destiny? Like honestly, I don't think you're necessarily wrong in this situation, but there's no reason that Mike should be thinking, you've been bringing this shit up all season on camera. And if you didn't bring up that other shit, it's only because you didn't have time. And he said, I mean, doesn't he has plenty of time? I mean, what is she literally doing?

But then Mike is like, because she keeps saying, this happened in a lay, don't play. And he goes, you know what, if I wanted to, it would have happened in Arizona. Like, that's not a good defense Mike. Now you're just having us think that you did it. Whatever this was, you did it in Arizona and LA. Well, you should thank me. And he's like, okay, then thank you. She's, yeah, because I kept it on the low, low, low, low.

Well, Brittany from Britain wants to know why is GG Mad Paulina a not a mark and GG's like, well, she has to understand that like he's my friend and like he'll still be my friend. Sorry, Mike, don't get mad at this part way after she's gone. So then Andy is like, um, so Mike, what made you come clean about your really terrible lie? Because well, you know, I hated myself this past year. I hated myself. Yeah.

Well, Mike, that speech kind of reminded me of the conversation with Resa when you admitted cheating on Jessica. And then we have like a back and forth flashback between Mike doing his speech in Palm Springs the season and Mike in Belize telling Reza, guess what, I cheated on Jessica. And it's like literally the same words. It's like it's been eating at me. It was eating at me.

It was, I feel terrible. I feel terrible. I'd like to give a speech. I'd like to give a speech. Do you mean an Arizona? Do you mean an Arizona? So Eddie's like, well, you know, didn't ever bite you of that. And Ratsiko says, what I said. And Mike says, I don't understand the point you're trying to make. And he's and Gigi says, uh, his point is that history repeats itself. And he goes, okay, it happened. You know, the narrative is I'm a piece of shit. That's how the show that's how you have to do it to make me look this year I get it Andy I get it and then he goes um

It's not really a narrative. I mean you've been on the show long time and you just keep doing this Yeah, yeah, this is Andy being like you don't tell me how to do my job. I'm the boss you've been on the show for eight years You've been a serious relationship with two women and you cheated on both of them and we're talking about it So MJ MJ comes in to say of the day. It's it's the chase remember Mike You said it was the thrill of the chase remember this was your talking point is the thrill of the chase remember you're supposed to be humble Oh, yes, yes, yes, I missed the chase. Okay okay ever since I went to Wells Fargo. I missed the chase No, no Mike Mike the chase not chase. Oh, yes Yes, yes, it was a wonderful game show called the chase was wonderful lots of properns with the hosts

It's on Netflix now. Lots of questions. It's a very good show very good show. No, Mike. Oh, you're right the chase I almost struck down it at the end of a tequila battle. Okay, come on Mike, that's your, that's a chaser, Mike, alright. Ah yes yes yes, gas up girl, I love chase Crawford, great actor, great actor. So Mike, are you in therapy now and he goes, yes, I see a spiritual advisor because I'm on Bravo. And that's how we deal with things. Her offices unfortunately are in Arizona, so sometimes I have to go away for a few days

and it's of course a very intensive time, so sometimes I come back, spending like a perfume, but that's just what happens. So why were you so adamant that Gigi was involved in semi-use move-tacks? And he's like, well, because Ressa called me and he said Gigi was involved. And Ressa's like, oh my god, he was playing death on Gigi, saying apron schoolness, apron schoolness, and they said, no, she couldn't do anything while she just had a baby.

Really, because the entire last season was you screaming at MJ doing something file literally in the hospital on her deathbed after just having a baby, this child. Yes. And Mike's's like it wasn't her It was you that's the kind of person you are, okay? Because I sent red you know Resus had been emailed years before an email. I was sending a funny email. What was that? What was this about that email? I just didn't go anywhere. Let's talk about this email. I think Andy just interrupts them

Yeah, well, they all this is where it got really confused because then Resa starts basically confessing. I thought because Resa goes, well, listen, here's what happened. We were all three in the pool, me, Gigi and Destiny, and we all get these texts and all these screenshots. And we said, what is this number? It's three sixes, six, six, six, we have to call it. And then Mike goes no you're wrong because you know how I know you're wrong because that was the what-up, you know, and you're the only one who had the number of my what-up on this phone.

And so he pulls out his second phone. Mike. Do you hear the words? You see what you do Mike Resa just basically started to confess right that's what what else could it be? He's like was so we started fucking with them with this number that we got through these texts, right? But he doesn't get the whole thing out so Andy goes so you had a burner phone and he's like no It's not a burner phone. It's a second phone. I have it for and he's like, no, it's not a burner phone. It's a second phone. I have it for construction. And Gigi goes, yeah, yeah, but you've had that.

I've had a phone number. She goes, you've had that for a, yes, I've had it for years. So then it's not just for construction. What are you trying to catch me in something? It's a phone I've had for years that now I use for construction. Where are you trying to catch me in lies?

I'm just like, wow. So you just have another phone just for the fun of it. Yes, yes, yes, it's for my spiritual advisor. And I was no no, who I send on Saturday calling the minute of the night. And then I go and I see her and I come back very, very late, very late. You know, she says she's on my side, but now she's trying to catch me. She's like, I'm not on your side being a liar in the cheater. I just don't want that bitch to text me about it.

That's what I'm saying. Don't call her a bitch. Yeah, I will. Yeah, I will call her a fucking bitch. That's what I'm saying. Don't call her a bitch. Yeah Your bitch. I'm a fucking bitch. Just like your Nana bitch He's like, oh, so you want to oh you want to come from and she's like you want to come from me motherfucker? You like her from me? This is like NASA. Okay. She's talking about my mother. Okay. Okay. You could don't that talking about Sue that way you talk you want to talk about it that way? Oh So mother all standing up and coming at each other right Mike's like come on Okay, you can don't that talking about Sue that way. You want to talk about it that way? Oh. So now they're all standing up and coming at each other, right? Mike's like, come on, Betta, you're going to let her go after my mother.

And he's like, come on. Sorry, I guess it's break time, right? So then Nima goes, um, yeah, Mike told you, if you don't fight Rogers battles, you are public anime number one. So then rest and might go into a dressing room. And rest has a monologue. He's like, listen, you can't be in the same conversation you're against me, but then you also want me to defend you. Which just proves exactly what Neemit just said, right? Yes, I mean, Maris wants to make me look at all of the time. And I guess it's because her feelings

are hurt, which I'm only saying because I'm on camera right now and I'm pretending to like her again until I find another reason to ruin her. But like, she says to me like, don't do things with coolness, and destiny because it upsets me. But then Mima says, you're doing it on purpose to gaslight me. Do I need to go into isolation and not speak to anybody? We all need to come together. You, me, destiny, baby shams. Me and you, I want to get back to the place where we could go to a car wash, chop it up about nothing,

make fun of poor people with the stupid cars, and just like break it off. And I like, I know that you want what's best for me and Adam, and I want what's best for you and Paulina as long as you guys are going to stay in this sham relationship. Maybe shouts, but that's what I want to get back to. So the destiny and Gigi you're talking and Destiny's like, um Gigi, like I need you, like when Mike comes to me and says things like I'm fake and she goes oh it's just because he got a white person Sleep and he's person he's upset He's like I'm about she goes I'm about to show him what a bitch is if he even twitches wrong

I will pop I'm ready to ring on this hand, okay, and he's right down I'm gonna be you know, so now it's funny to me because Mike is like oh my god Please support me and resist like fuck you I'm not gonna support me. And Reza is like, fuck you. I'm not gonna support you if you're coming against me. Now, let's go against MJ. And the other dressing room, Destiny's like, oh my god, no one supports me. And Gigi's like, be quiet.

Support me and be not Mike. It's like so Gigi and Reza, they're perfect for each other. Yeah, and everything Neymas said was right. That these guys, they're the OGs and they only care about each other. And also, by the way, I mean, let's not overlook resizing. Oh, God, like, everything that MJ wants to do is to hurt me. I mean, here they are. They talk about being family.

They talk about being best friends and how he wants to see baby shams while he's simultaneously advancing a narrative that MJ is just basically trying to destroy him at all times, which may be true, but it's just that the fak destroy them at all times, which may be true, but it's just that the fakery of it all is kind of like on another level. Yeah, so what did she do to Brezza? She didn't, I mean, the naked Jenga thing last year, but he's like everything she does is to hurt me. What has she done to you this year?

Nothing. So great. So then we go back to the set and everybody seated and Gigi comes out carrying a huge bouquet of flowers and I'm just like, oh god, this is dramatic. So she hands one roast to destiny and then she gives the rest of them to Paulina and she's like, hey, Paulina, these are from Mike. And she's like, oh, I already gave them to her. She already got her red ones. And Gigi goes, well, then put them in a trash where they belong. Oh, yeah, just like your remarks.

Ha, ha, ha. And he's just sitting there smiling, loving this. Yeah, and Andy's like, where did those come from? My friend goes, oh, I bought them for all the girls. And you don't accept? Not from somebody who calls me a bitch, Andy. And Mike's like, look, this is my friendship with them. Always getting flipped around on me.

And so, it's such a big thing. yeah, red, red and GG switch seats. And Andy's like, okay, so Paulina, welcome, Paulina is a group of everybody, Paulina. Why do you want to be here? She's like, I'm amy because like, I'm following I love my bad know and like, I'm falling I love my bad no And I'm feeling I misrepresented I said bye and I wanted to clarify I'm on there Mike said that I have to clarify that I don't get controlled by him so So are do you feel controlled by Mike Mike?

Why was I supposed to say to this? No, no. She's like, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, no. If I was controlled, I wouldn't be here nor when I'm you wearing a dress. Oh, I can no one. I'm currently wearing, okay. She's used to cut this shit. She's wearing a bikini top, okay? And she was when she went on, watch what happens live with Mike, where he also wouldn't let her speak and kept cutting her off every two seconds. She was wearing the exact same Keeney top dress, but in white. So first of all, girl got a buy one get one or something. Yes. And she's wearing the same exact dress. And her big thing on that show was she was like,

look, I don't care if he's controlling. I wear whatever I want. So that's her big stance, I guess Mike being controlling, is that she can wear like a Ke I wear whatever I want. So that's her big stance, I guess, Mike being controlling is that she can wear like a bikini top type outfit and she's really showing him like, wow. But also the, but the implication is that Mike does not approve of this dress and he does not approve of it on her. So she made, she made to fire his orders,

but it's still revealing that he is controlling. He's obviously telling her, don't not wear that. Don't wear that, it will arouse. It will arouse, it will arouse. Exactly, cannot have that. So her point is actually just reinforcing what we already know. By the way, I was just thinking about this

while you're talking about all these bouquets. Do you think that Adam was somewhere, cowering, somewhere, cowering at the side of lots of bouquets? Is this like a trauma flashback to the famous gallery night when resident gate bouquets everyone and then GG attacked him with a with a with a set bouquet. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like with the Chanel blanket over his head every time the roses come on the screen. Locking doors. Interesting case. Someone burst in with the bouquet and it's max.

I'm on the neck with it. So, um, let's talk about the DMs. Why would you share those with all of the people? Were you angry? Were you getting back at them? And she's like, um, Mami, it was you. Mami. It was a moment, like, you know, when, like, it was just like,

Mary, um, boom, boom. I was thinking, man, Mami, when like it was just like Murray and boom, I was he man. You were sorry that you did it. I was sorry. I'm never mad again. I mean, but now you but but but it was a savage move that you did. I'm wearing a bikini top. So are you aware of Mike's past? And so why did So are you aware of Mike's past? And so why did catch you're aware of Mike's past?

And so why did catching him surprise you? Oh, darn, Liz. Seeing the way that he loves me and my children, I was surprised, Abby. And he's like, well, can you change it? It's like, do you not remember when I said from this day forward? It's a new mic. Uh-huh.

Proof is in the pudding. So he, so she's like, absolutely. And he has changed. Well, oh, sorry. No, sorry. I was just going to say, and these, well, I heard that you texted Jessica. What was that in that text? She's like, well, if you heard it, why don't you tell me?

Wow, this guy is just very sassy. I know, you're new here. Okay, you're new. You don't get the sassy Andy, okay? Yeah. So she goes, well, because I have access to his eye cloud, I had seen they were talking and like I die. She had sent pictures of some shoes and Mike said, oh is it fake and she said, yeah, it's

fake as your girl. And as any girl would do, I reached out to her with Mike's consent. And I said, what I had to say with Mike's consent, he basically wrote it out. And then she responded and I left it at that. Like she has x at five more times. And I had to say what I wanted to say and that's it. Yeah. What?

That's great. As any girl would do after breaking into somebody's eye cloud. After she broke into Mike's eye cloud, she then texted Jessica to basically be like, get the fuck away from my man. Basically, yeah. So I guess she didn't break in. Mike gave it, gave her the password, but still creepy. So Gigi's like, you know what, Andy, it's safer for me

to just keep my mouth shut because having his back meant nothing to him. So going against him will also mean nothing to him. Nothing I do means anything. Just some more Gigi logic. Like what? Yeah. And Pauline was like, you call me a band.

What did you, what did I do to you? Which was you did nothing to me exactly. So why are you such a bitch? The definition of loyalty when someone out of the wax comes for my friend and tries to embarrass my friend. You are my enemy now, okay? Geez. I just like, do you understand that?

And if you don't want those type of friends for your man to meet that's a red flag You're a psychotic. Oh, yeah, but when I talk to you and Hawaii you told me I can't trust any of these people Yeah, especially you you can't you especially can't trust yourself You know, I don't know you she was I don't know you're his bitch You're just like the first one. Ratchet ass and Paulina goes, Nira, Hood Rat, which starts then, of course,

become, start to feel a little problematic. Like I was like, um, Paulina, you're venturing into dangerous territory here. And in fact, Andy does. Andy knows this too, because we get a classic shot of Andy going, hmm,

like, hmm. Is it Paulina seeing how Mike treated his ex Jessica? Do you think that? It's the real repeat. Hey, Mike's like, no, me and Jessica had a very tumultuous relationship. Hi, the question isn't for you, Mike, for Foxy. Mike's like, I don't control her. Pfft.

Sorry, I pressed the button. I leaned on the button a little bit. And then Paulina's like, I don't control her. Sorry, press the button. I leaned on the button a little bit. And then Pauline is like, because Andrew's like, well, it seems like you have a tumultuous relationship. And Pauline goes, well, unfortunately, that's the way it came across. But to be really honest with you, this is why I'm not such a fan of him being on the show because our life together is amazing. And I know this because he tells me it's amazing.

No, it's not. It's a facade. Yes. So first of all, do you think any of us are going to sit here and believe that you don't want to be a part of this show? Yes. My else would you date Mike like of all the people you you're rich. Why in the world would you fucking date Mike like of all the people you you're rich why in the world with you fucking date Mike give me a break lady nobody's buying that's what well that's why it's funny when Andy is like why did you want to come on the show it's actually yeah but she came here to the reunion because she just wants to be on TV she didn't come here because she wants to clarify anything okay so Andy's like so Mike if she said it's me or the show, what would you do? And he's like, uh, la, la, la, I would leave the

Marina show. What was that? The show. What in the show? Which one is that? Marina show. Why would you date somebody like this? The sky is fucking horrible.

You, I mean, Mike, you're the biggest liar on the planet. You can't just say, I would choose by Lena immediately. Duh, like you idiot. And she's like, I want to say that we took a really long vacation and I wanted to be alone with Justin and he was like, no, he wanted to take the kids with him. Oh yeah, I went to run the Lizzie River 26 times. Oh my god, it was like 26 times and not once, not once was I able to bang one

of the one of the moms that was nearby. I tried so hard. I was like, okay, here I go again. Lizzie River number five. Okay, hot mom from Calabasas. Huh, huh, didn't work. I'm every night. I can't bathe my children and brush their teeth like he does stuff that no man does for their kids. Let alone stop kids. And that's why I know this time is different. Like, oh, really? So men who bathe children don't fuck around. Okay. Well, that's good. I'll note that men on a free all expenses paid vacation from their rich ass lady. Then who show like, and who like perform the most basic duties as a parental figure,

shows that you're totally changed and a better person, okay. And then she, and it might go, oh, I want to share something with you guys. We're engaged. And everyone looks at, and it you're engaged and everyone's like Congratulations Congratulations, yeah, wow. Yes, yes, that's a ring there. Wow

Not to spoof ring. It's a real ring. Okay, this brother this bothered me when Paulina said that she got the love and connection we have like I wouldn't be able to live a day without and I told him before I will not live without him. It's like okay, okay, crazy. So Mike asked how he proposed. He said, well, I asked her some Mason for permission and I gave him the ring in Hawaii and I planted with the concierge this very romantic moment And we got the most romantic part of the beach. I was like, oh my god Did you just you went in front of the hotel that she was probably paying for?

And he'll down and use the ring that she probably paid for you like who are you kidding? And he has this whole thing about like, and so they told me to go, so we got the most romantic part of the beach as opposed to the rest of the beach, which is not romantic, just regular beach. We went to the romantic part. And then Mason, he had the ring, and it was making his pants and like,

Mal, it was in my pants, and then I gave it to Mason, the Mason gave back to me, and then we gave it to a seal. We found a seal, we said, hey, take the ring and then the seal gave it to Mason, and then we played Hapatet over the ring. I was so fond, we played,

we played Dr. Kus, it was a great Mason, I have great time. I had then all of us under 35 people and they gave us a round of applause and it's a memory that Mason would have for the rest of his life. But unfortunately, the manager of the hotel, he gave us the wrong room and I was like, I want the pineapple sweet, the pineapple sweet and he was like, no, no, this is a good room too. And I was like, I swear, I said, Paulina's mother gave us the pineapple sweet and, oh, no, sorry, it's watching a TV show.

That's the reason. Marley Shannon came and she made me feel bad about myself. The end. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And there's a weird family, weird, weird family, okay? Weird family. Marley Shannon, that's the point in my story, Andy. So will there be a prenup?

And MJ's like, well, yeah, I mean I mean you you need to do that and uh Dustin's like oh my god no polina protectors so it doesn't make sense uh which kids it makes no sense uh polina has a great line has a great line of logic though for why she did not get a prenupch. Because I would not marry someone who I felt the need to protect myself from. So yes, Mike has a history of cheating. Yes, he has a history of lying. Yes, he uses my money liberally, but I don't need to protect myself against that. Oh my God, what an absolute moron.

So, Dustin, he was like, well, that scares me. Am I coast bitch? Paulina goes, my stop. Yeah. Come on. Destin is just trying to be a friend and warn Paulina against you. Like, come on. He goes, how's that being a friend? How is it? She goes, it's for her, not for you. Paulina thinks go sour. I understand. I'm like, I am one doubt in my mind. I would I wouldn't want to marry someone like that. Oh my god. Paulina, you have many doubts in your mind. Absolutely. You absolutely fucking. I'm not sure you even have thoughts in your mind, but I know you have doubts. Okay. And so Mike is like, the, the interference, the interference, just like Russian hackers, okay? And Justin goes, it has nothing to do with interfering.

It has to do with security. Listen, I know about security, okay? Hello, I just said it, I was hacked, okay? Listen, if I have one, oh yeah, if I have one down my mind, I'm not gonna do it, all right? I'll just say it again, I'll just say it again. So then all the girls just sigh, like, oh God, this is a disaster. Yeah, and destiny is like, I just want most best for Paulina, like, no, no, no, no, no,

can I talk because like you, like you and I have been on the same page of him being disrespectful, Paulina, like you have told me stuff that I have a captain myself, like you should thank me for being there for my girlfriend when you weren't my. And he's like, oh my god, it's all hearsay. It's just like, it's like, this is all hearsay. Like, it's like, what? Oh, now you're going to say that I was in Santa Fe one day and I got a, you know, got a, got a little hand job from the woman who works at Applebee's.

Okay, so I know all of a sudden that's going to happen. Like, no, Mike, have we didn't even know about that, Mike? Well, it was a lie. It was a lie. Oh, I suppose that you're going to say I was at the circus and talked to both Barnum and Bailey behind an elephant stop. No, I'm not even saying that. So she tells Paulina, because Paulina is like, well, yeah, I mean, it's true that I've opened up to destiny before when I'm drunk

I'm sick. No, it's not just when you're drunk like every time he's talk shit about me and called me a drunk Like even that night. I mean, you know what you said in the bathroom, Paulina your time is up Your stick is up. Hey, Paulina. I don't know how you got your car in here But why are you washing it right now? Because your stick is up. Oh my god, this show, what a mess. What a fun, lovely mess. Fun mess.

I guess this could be a three part reunion, you think? I think it's two. I think it's two because you can always tell when it's two, when the little, the montages are super short. In fact, they did something really weird. We didn't even talk about it. But when they when Andy started to segue into the Mike, Mike lie segment, he was like, well, this season Mike said he got hacked by Russian hackers.

And he said that there was some spoof text messages, but it turns out it was a lie all along. And then you expect Andy to go, let's take a look. But he just like went into it. I was like, whoa, Andy to go, let's take a look. But he just like went into it. I was like, whoa, what happened to the let's take a look montage? But we're gotta be a two-parter. Yeah, I think it's a two-er. So we'll see next week, everybody. And I love that they just left London completely out of this. Yeah. We'll just pretend that never happened. She's seen promising it first, but it turns out did not really add anything.

Yeah. Well, everybody, thanks so much for being here. We will be back tomorrow with some, or later today, or we're not, I don't know when you're listening to this, bulletproof med is coming. Next, yeah. And then real housewives of Beverly Hills and real housewives of New York will both be video recaps. Go check out all the podcasts we've guested on malls is mother may sleep with podcasts more bit the murder shell

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