Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: The Literally Dead Now Sea

Episode Date: August 22, 2017

The Shahs of Sunset finish up their pilgrimage to Israel, but it wouldn’t be complete without making the Dead Sea wish it could be deader. Enjoy!  ** Jeff Lewis, Gage Edward and Jenni Pulos are going to be our special guest on the Setp 2 Live Show! Get tickets at watchwhatcrappens.com. Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens for bonus episodes, ringtones, and live group video chat parties. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey, Prime members, you can listen to watch what crap ends at free on Amazon Music. Download the app today. Get ready for a double load of Queen of Hearts. It's me, Jujubee, and I return to guide sexy singles through some ronchi blind dates. Cameras off. Voice only. Launching during pride. Queen of Hearts takes Miami by storm, with Daeders' Cuppe from Tampa Bayes, Just Chas, and Brittany Brave to name a few. Follow Queen of Hearts on Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcasts. For all of our bonus episodes and premium content, become a member over at patreon.com-watchwhat-crapins. That's patreon.com-watch-watch-what-crapins. You can also find this on social media.

On Twitter, we're at what-crapins, on Instagram and Facebook at what-crapins. We'll see you there. I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more

I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more I'm just a little bit more Hello and welcome to watch what crap ends the podcast about all that crap we just love to talk about on Yale Brawves I'm running from the bachelor in paradise podcast Cold Rose bricks and I'm here with my little bestie handsome little partner in internet life Then Mandelker of the B side blog and the band to blinda. Hello, Dean.. Hi Ronnie. What's up? Hey, dude, baby. You know, I think we'll put out a

fresh warning for all the listeners that I'm soups loops as in super loopy right now because we've had a very long day leading up to this podcast. We've been doing a lot of work on our live shows, on our just our podcast in general, and basically my brain is half

goo at the moment. So I'll probably make a bunch of jokes that won't make sense. I'll probably start senses that lead to nowhere. I'll just be saying nonsense words. And I just want everyone to be ready for that. I mean, if even with a half goo brain, we're watching Shazza Sunset. I mean, we're still more formed than most of these fuckers. That's true. We have some exciting stuff off the top of the of the hour.

See, I'm already talking like I'm on like CBS local news radio. On the top of the hour, let's check everyone. Let's go check traffic right now. The eclipse. The eclipse. The eclipse. That's why my brain is goo. Oh, the clips.

Yeah. And it turned out just to be MJ standing above us as we were laying out telling us that she's gonna have a baby. We're like, okay, MJ, can you move? And in typical LA fashion, LA was way too cool for a proper total eclipse. And it was pretty much just sunny here. It's the first time that sunnyness has ever been so shady.

So anyway, here's what we have to update you with. The Craig Conover Pillow, Craig from Southern Charm. He has actually officially made a pillow for watch or crap ends. It is in the mail. It is coming to us. We're going to raffle it off at our live show on September 2nd. And also speaking of live shows, we're getting some leads on some potential venues, one potentially in like the Minneapolis area, one in Las Vegas. The question is, do we have people in those areas that would show up?

Exactly. Because if we do, we're going to go. So yeah, the best way to tell us is's just to go to our private watch what crap is live group on Facebook, which you can find on watch what crap is calm. Or watch the Facebook.com slash watch what crap is there's a group there called watch what crap is live and loving it. And there's a poll there and we'll put up a poll saying would you if you come if we do a show Minneapolis, if we do a show in Vegas, would you come just say yes or no? You don't have to tell us, please come to Atlanta or whatever because we're really only paying attention to what people are

saying about Minneapolis and Las Vegas because those are the two places where we have leads on venues. If you want us to come to your city, just, you know, we just, we just need to find a venue. Like if we find venues venues then we'll pull your city to if you're a person with a great venue Just send us an email. Okay contact us. Okay, so today is the show of Sunset is Speaking of great menus the show of sunset is real yes, the venue of Jerusalem Here's the show's sunset is real. Yes, they've been you have Yerusalem. Here's the star I am. That's not me. It's just like a little gold star from school. So the shazern is real they're there true some they're at the Western Wall and Gigi still does not feel comfortable. She does not feel welcomed and

she's she's in full full sort of like victim complex. You know the persecution complex situation. She's like what I'm not holy because I'm not Jewish I don't know. I don't know. I don't get it. Yeah, I don't think I'm saying that it's like super dramatic music like Yeah, what's saying that? It's like super dramatic music. Like, vice is about to pop out and show a whole child trafficking ring under the wall. What is happening? It's like, don't don't don't don't don't don't don't. Deplond.

Deplond reporter with like the big Estelle Getty glasses. He could be like, so Gigi, how did you feel? You realize you're like an Israel that it's like Middle East. How do you feel? You understand that like, G are tough on the Muslims right? Yeah, it's my problem! Do you ever get that cookbook called Jerusalem? You ever try to cook for a minute?

Maybe it feels something? Da da da da da da da da da Gigi's fighting her nails and da da da da da da da Closer, closer, closer They keep showing all these closets of which she's like terrified of It's like an old man Look it's two children going to you know, acidic school Laughing and like look it's a baby coming down the mountain in a stroller a cloud in the sky

Well, I guess I'm not Jewish I guess not okay did now. I guess you're not. Okay. No, I was confused because she was talking to Shervin. Did she say that someone came up to her and said, G-Hod, or was she saying that someone was staring at her as if they were going to say G-Hod? Yeah, they start, no, no.

She said that a dude passed her and said, G-Hod, because he saw her necklace or her tattoo or something. Well, that's not nice. I mean, yeah, but it's just funny because they start gathering around Gigi and they all have these stories. Mike's like, yeah, over there, there was this rabbi and he was fighting. And he's fighting with this guy. He's fighting with this dude.

And he said to him, this wall is for Jews. It's not for going. And he says it like, boom. And then you use like, oh, so we're not allowed to pray there. I'm like, you realize that Asa is up there fully gyrating her big-a-big against the wall you can do it. She is She is carving out an imprint of her belly in the Western wall. You are allowed to go up and pray as for everyone Yeah, stupid Gigi. She's like looking around even more scared

She's like obliance. They're like no, no, goy arm, goy arm. That's what they call the, that's what they call you. And she's like, yeah, but I was just called G-Hod. And then she's like, you know, I always, I always think of back in the day because back in Los Angeles, back in the day, Persian Jews did not like Persian Muslims. They always said they don't mix. I'm like, wow, what a great old-time-y old story. Thanks for our moment in history, Gigi.

Maybe people just didn't want their children to mix with you. Just use specifically. Yeah, they were like, no one from this preschool is a lad to go near Gigi because she keeps stabbing them with things. went from this preschool as a ladder to go near GD because she keeps stabbing them with things. So then MJ MJ has a nice moment. She's crying because she's praying. She's praying for things. She doesn't know like she doesn't want to be selfish, but you know, she's obviously going through a hard time with her dad having a stroke. So she's crying. And it's like, it's actually a nice moment, but then it's like ruined by Asa It's ruined by m. J. She's sitting there and hurt her confessional. She's crying. Yeah, she's like I'm afraid to ask the wall for something

Because I know you can pray if it's like for someone with extreme need or like the child that I'm sorry. Like you couldn't come up with like a child with cancer, like nothing. And then she picks up. Just get to where? What are you afraid to pray for here, MJ? And then she picks up, I think this is the moment where she picks up like a zebra print mirror

and starts readjusting her makeup. Yeah, because God forbid, rather than being introspective, you must make sure your shitty makeup is at peak shittiness. What do I look like when I'm crying about praying? Let's take a minute. I feel like I'm face timing with myself right now. So when the prayer, when the prayer ends, it goes, they show everybody praying on different parts of the wall, and then it goes, Ding! Pfft!

What the fuck? It's like a bell, and then like a snare. Weird. Okay, sorry, god. Well, then Asa starts talking about her experience at the wall, and she's like, my baby was like, key, key against the wall, kicking against the wall, like saying hello, my baby was saying hello to the wall. I was like, oh God. No. No.

She's like, you guys got mad at me for wanting to kick the wall. And then Destiny, Destiny has gets real deep. She's like, there were like birds. I'm like, it was like a lot. There were like birds there. It was so beautiful. Like, it like drowned to an essence of like releasing. Like, it feels so free, you guys. Like, I can't explain that. Like, if I am Muslim girl in Israel,

this is like Jewish land. You all live in Hollywood. Yes. Why are you acting like this is so new? Exactly. Just drive down for our facts. So now they head over into a market area. And Reza now decides he's going to pile in with all the deep thoughts. He's like,

crosses and menoras living in harmony Like this place is so old okay, it's like the first mall like ever okay if Jesus needed something He'd be like a disclares boutique, okay motherfuckers Yeah, we're shopping with Jesus shops like this is like the first ever KB stores like this KB store is like a BC KB No, I'm saying It's like a cinnamon like but it bleeds when you eat it. It's like okay, Raza okay. Yeah, it's called Sinahala Okay, Raza. Yeah, it's called Sinahala. Stupid.

It's called like, he really liked to shop at the Jewish go-round. So, oh look, there's a sparrows, Matsuh. Smutsuh. Juke factory. Now I'm doing the ignorant one now. No, let's go eat it to Juke factory. Rugla Uno. Juke gallery. Rugga lot uno Jew gallery

Janana Republic Jews remembered then three you can engrave a Jew so they don't forget that they're Jewish So silly I know okay We're in these Jewish people now it's time to move on I know we I've never been so honored to be a Jew is Finding all sorts of puns mall puns for my people so When you find yourself and the things remember it's time to go Oh my goodness, okay, yes like you trying to say, and I will not let you, uh, you're going shopping. And of course, Gigi's like, look, a sword.

She's like whipping out this huge sword and us is like, whoa, some of us have little peace in our pods, okay? Yeah, Gigi, good luck taking that on the plane, going back. Don't forget that you were detained without even wearing a knife and Raza's just trying to haggle over anything just so he could say Haggled in this real he's like look it's a backgammon game Okay, I'll give you five dollars to like that is five million dollars. It is the first bat the gammon ever made I don't take it for seven dollars first the Bat the Gaman ever made. I don't take it.

For $7. You know, your resist are into your inter-homer Simpson territory a little bit. I know, in Tamra, it's Tamra's starting a department from South Paris. So now, Gigi out of nowhere, she's having baby phoma because of the other girls are allowed to talk about babies.

She wants to also, so now all of a sudden, Gigi wants babies with Shalom, which is hilarious because they've already broken up in real life. So she's talking to Resa about it because he's half Jewish, half Muslim, and she wants to know what he was, like what he went through. And of course, it gives him an opportunity to talk about like growing up. It was really hard because I'm half Jewish and half half Muslim and gay so it was like so many things and then my grandmother didn't even bite me hot like I'm like I hate you right now grandma I hate my grandma it's like the really funny I'm like all this from a solo tile yeah they're reselling all these tiles that say solo and she's like all y'all and she's like, Sashelom, y'all.

And she's like, well, you know, I'm in the honeymoon phase with Shalom and it's like, I see him everywhere, you know? I'm like, whoa, that's Shalom. No, it's not Shalom. Whoa, that's Shalom. That's literally Shalom. Guys, you look, is that Shalom or not?

Like it literally is Shalom. Guys, you look, is that shalom or not? I'm like, it literally is shalom. And then, Razzah's like, her brain is like this ball in the middle of a pinball machine. Like, you press sides, different buttons on the side of the machine, and it like hits the pinball. And then the pinball goes, and it like knocks off a wall. And then, like, sometimes it'll sit on another little button. And then it pinball goes and it like knocks off a wall and then like sometimes it'll sit on another little button And then it'll go ding ding ding and then it comes out and then sometimes it goes up a ramp

And then it like comes down again. I'm like, okay You can just say her brain is like a pinball machine. It makes sense We get we actually understand exactly how a pinball machine works We don't actually understand that the nuances are the various obstacles the ball could hit. They have pinball machines outside Little Armenia, okay. I like though that Gigi is like, Resist an example of what I don't want.

He's so bitter and like, you know, he's like, so anti-Muslim. I like so anti-Muslim. I'm not anti-Muslim. I'm just anti-wals. Okay? Don't you agree, boy, French-Lim? Oh, damn, it was a street sign. Everywhere. It's like Michelle Branch. So then they go to the M'holy's Suppol- How do you- Is Holy Suppol- Is that how you say it, Suppol-

I don't know. I just wrote religious museum or some crap. It's like a very holy space. Is that how you say it, Spulker? I don't know. I just wrote religious museum or some crap. It's like a very holy space. And they go there and ask us like, babe, babe, it's funny because Jesus was here and Jesus was a baby and I have a baby. And so it was like, basically I've got Jesus. And you know, it's what I'm like. It's like Mary, babe, you know, like did Mary call her?

Baby a bastard baby? No, because it was like a miracle, okay? So then they head back to the hotel and we are now privileged to see Reza walking around in bikini briefs. Why let's admire it, oh my god, it's just like the heavens opening. I have to just point this out because it's the first time in a very long funny string of Mike. Mike is like, whoa, dude, look, I went to all these places. And like now I see like everyone has religions, you know, like my mind is blown to so many. There's like Christianity, like Jewishness, like, you know,

those guys who go door to door, they're really white. They all wear the same clothes, scientists, you know, those guys who go door to door, they're really white, they'll wear the same clothes, scientists, you know, like all those religions. He's like, I know that I've learned, we can all be tacky. We can all sell things at the same malt that Jesus went to. It doesn't matter what, you have a religion, you can always have a terrible beard. There's no religion that stands against eyebrow pencils. So speaking of terrible decisions, Gigi has decided to get Shalom tattooed onto her side. So after all this stuff about how she's uncomfortable with Judaism and the Western Wall and all this stuff, and she's just starting this Shalom dude in her

boolives in her building. Oh, I just get a little tattooed on her side. Listen, we remember what happened when Tamara tattooed Simon's name onto her finger, okay? Yeah. He's like, oh my, what did happen? I forgot. Oh yeah, we'll look at that. They got divorced, yeah.

Terrible. And then she had to give it erased. You know, say full circle. So literally, resist life was a circle. Gigi is like afraid of a wall, but she wants to put like a welcome mat on herself for Jewish men. Like, Shalom, like, in the end, it's true. She needs to figure out what the exit sign is, you know, like, she needs to get a tattoo that shows people how the fuck to get out of GG Because that's the hardest part of a relationship and she did she did because she's low means goodbye

Also means hello goodbye on peace. So it's actually a really multi-purpose tag. Good multivariate permanent Yeah, then good way to make it permanent girl of all of all the boyfriend names You could have tattooed on to her, that one's probably the best, because she could always say, no, I'm really just saying peace. Like I'm Muslim, but I have a Jewish word for peace on me. So, she's got that. But meanwhile, so Gigi's getting tattooed

and assistaying in with her, and I think Destiny also. And meanwhile, the guys go out, and because Resa's like, hmm, do I want to stay in the hotel and watch Gigi get a tattoo? Would I want to go out and cuz res is like hmm do I want to stay in the hotel and watch gg get a tattoo or do I want to go out and drink and get krunk I was like oh my god res up I'm like and I have like a day with the bros white girl um bitch be like I'm getting a tattoo just like Jordan sparks but I'm gonna get krunk like a black person and I'm also like, you know, babe, like this tattoo,

like what you're doing, like I think it's really beautiful, babe, because like even after he dumps you, it's like still a beautiful memory. And she's like, yeah, I love him so much. Like I'm branding myself. Like that's so bravo. Yeah, it's like, what's Sarah Brand? I love I love that GG misinterpret what it means to brand yourself so

They say the guys and MJ go out to dinner and I love that Shervin for some reason He got our Hebrew only menu and you could just see he was spiraling into another complex like what's going on Like I look I look I look like my look like a Palestinian like why do I get the Hebrew only think it's pass across Just want to like pet his beautiful, beautiful, hairy back. But I know it's okay. Tell me the okay a little bit. So then MJ comes in and she's like,

hang, kind of saying this is nuts. But soon I'm gonna have a baby. And he's like, girl, this like having a drink and then in down to your baby is getting old bitch. She's like, listen, I'll have to, I just have to have sex with Tommy while I'm ovulating and then boom, pregnant.

And they're like, it's not that easy. Why don't we plan a wedding? No, I wanna get pregnant first. And he's like, yeah, but you're just called awesome bastard manufacturer or whatever. She's like, yeah, but mine won't be a bastard. That's the point. I'm not getting married until I got pregnant.

It is. I know. Well, what if you don't get pregnant? She's like, well, then I'm not marrying him. I'm like, that's not very nice. She goes, he like snores and he is hard to candy. Midnight. He said actually that he smokes around the dogs. And so, so he smokes around the dogs as if that's the worst thing that they have to deal with. He eats hard candy at midnight and he loves the mats. So they can always lose.

Like why? Well, kind of, I don't know. Take a step back and just think about that for a minute. Hard candy at midnight. They lose. He likes the mats and they lose every every time and now he's dating MJ He's a He's a glutton for punishment. That's what he is. Yes, just be grateful

I said what I'm saying, you know, and she's like it speaks about his character I'm like hard candy tells us way less about his character than day way less about his character than Dana. You nutcase. So it's like, this isn't about a baby. Things I just realized this is all about mj. Whoa. Even his like octopus broaches rolling size at this point. It's like trying to swim away. How do I get off this lapel? I'm embarrassed.

All of the eight arms are reaching around. It's back trying to see if it can reach the pin. It's like, how wide is this lapel? Oh gosh, so the guys come in at 3 a.m. and there's a weave piece on a lamp. Like it's just a big lung hairy weave Which you know MJ does like making it with other girls when she's wasted so I can see how that could happen yeah And they basically just all go jump on GG draw and crack. Yeah Well, and it should be noted that while they're all like and they have this little lounge area and the guys are all just sitting there exhausted from going out to the to the bar the club And I'm gonna just flop in and her boobs are just like she's just like in a bra on her boobs just like bouncing right on out like you should

Remember direction. They're like Mars. Mars. You got to put those away. Huh hard candy, huh? So then they go wake up Gigi and say and then Shalom calls on FaceTime and then I just went to make Some dinner Yeah, they're showing Shalom and they're talking about like it's this crazy that she has a tattoo and Resigos, it's crazy because because Shalom's like that's not real and Resigos. Yes, it is. It has plastic wrap on it player Play it because we got crunk with the tattoos in Israel player Yes, it is it has plastic wrap on it player Because we got crank with the tattoos in Israel player Bitch be like motherfuckin getting tattoos and getting crank afterwards

That's so Persian That is so Conction Okay, so let's see the next morning Okay, so let's see. The next morning, Mike, Mike, eggs, MJ nasty shoes, 80s guitar music, what the fuck? That's right. Because the music is like, did you notice it? I can't even fall. I was like 80s, this like 80s, not electric guitar, what do you call that? Acoustic guitar. It's like, bring, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, what's going on with this, though? It was like a nice after school special

when everything's still OK, you know? Yeah. And then, you know, I'm sure we'll be in the whole East. Yeah, I'm sure we're going to an Analyse, our face timing, just talking. He's like, hey, guy, Analyse, hello, here's a game. And then we see this random scene of Gigi walking through some sort of lobby, and there's a piano there.

And she just stops and starts playing it, which was shocking, because I didn't know that she could play the piano. And she's like, she gets, you know, halfway through her song and she's like, oh, fuck it. She just slams her hands on the piano and walks away. Yeah. It's like fucking Gigi's Beethoven secretly. Like, nobody knew this. F. Murray Abraham was about ready to ruin her life.

He's like standing behind her like, you do play, play. She's like, I can't believe the Emperor Yon during my performance. Brockess, self-amadass, you fucking idiot. Yeah, what is this piano made of whaling wall? So anyway. So then they get, they're going to head out to the Dead Sea and they get into this van and they're driving along and Shervin's like rummaging through a cooler

or getting everyone something to drink, like getting the beers and then Austin's like, nothing for your pregnant friend Shervin. He's like nothing for your pregnant friendship. I'm like, I'm just gonna be awesome. He's like, here's my hanger. So Asa has to go pee and she's like, you guys, what did see guys? She talks like me or I talk like her guys. Guys, I'm once in a lifetime situation, bitch. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

I love my kid, but is a new parenting podcast from Wondry that shares a refreshingly honest and insightful take on parenting. Hosted by myself, Megan Galey, Chris Garcia, and Kurt Brownauer, we will be your resident not-so-expert experts. Each week we'll share a parenting story that'll have you laughing, nodding, and thinking. Oh yeah, I have absolutely been there. We'll talk about what went right and wrong. What would we do differently?

And the next time you step on yet another stray Lego in the middle of the night, you'll feel less alone. So if you like to laugh with us as we talk about the hardest job in the world, listen to, I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon music or Wondery app. That's what the science has outside of the Dead Sea, actually. Ooh, guys, let's of the Dead Sea actually.

Guys, let's make the Dead Sea wish it was dead. MJ, rub some mud in your butt. Bitch be like, we're below sea level. Like, what sort of sea is like that? And Dustin, he's like, oh, it's so spiritual. Look, there's birds. I don't even know how to explain it. And also, also is pissed now because the guys, Mike and Res of Sitzters come right after her. And Mike's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. They haven't gone into the sea yet. By the way, they're just now, they're sort of like hanging out.

They're like, I can have a meal before in typical Shaw's fashion. They're going to eat before they go into the sea yet. By the way, they're just now, they're sort of like hanging out, they're having a meal before, in typical Shaw's fashion, they're gonna eat before they go into the Dead Sea. So then they're congregating. And now, as you said, Mike and Resa, go up to awesome. Yes, and he's like, whoa, we just wanted to tell you, we're just like, yeah, last night we were talking to MJ.

Yeah, and she said bastard, baby. Yeah, what are you gonna do about, okay, bye, we're going into the sea. Yeah, they're like please Yeah, they look like but she was only talking about herself, but she was talking about bastard babies again But about her self though herself and not you. I mean, I don't think so. I mean she said awesome Has a bastard baby, but she's really talking about herself Bye motherfucker. So now she's pissed, you know, cuz No, awesome's gonna go into the Dead Sea.

Like if this were a normal, she'd be like, well, the Dead Sea, like the spiritual, like energy of the Dead Sea is like combing my baby's hair right now. Like my baby's gonna come out so smooth and exfoliated. It's like, you know, I'm like floating. It's like, I feel like I'm my beautiful boy in my room. Babe.

So she sits on the beach, pissed. So she's like just sitting and watching them. But meanwhile, is this later? Yeah, that's later. So, because they're going to have their meal. So they also down this table. So now, Asa's just been told, oh, by the way, I'm just, keep talking about she's fast baby thing.

Okay. So, um, they sit down and they're eating this food and Asa's annoyed. And she kind of gets the ball rolling. If I remember correctly, she gets the ball rolling, being like, what is up with this? Why can't you guys be happy with me or why you talk about that fast?

She tells MJ, because it's really quiet. And Asa is just giving the evil eye to MJ. And MJ feels it, but doesn't say anything. So they're all just kind of waiting, you know, because they've already planted it. So, us is like, well, I feel like when it comes to me, babe, I feel like you take jobs. Yeah. And MJ ignores her and she goes, you know, using the term, bastard child, and MJ goes, well, well, wait, last night we were talking about me not wanting

to have a bastard child. Okay, it wasn't about you, okay. It wasn't about your bastard child. It was like, I just don't wanna have a bastard child. You can have a bastard child. I don't care. I mean, beautiful bastard child. She's like, could you please stop saying that?

Battle of the bastard's babe. And then M.J., it's like, that is not what I said. Like, when she sit, when Asta said she's like, could you please have saying that battle of the bastards babe and then MJ is like that is not what I said Like when when she sit when ossa said she's pregnant Was either only one here at the table who thought when you guys getting married like I couldn't be the only one So Mike who's now we've realized has tricked ossa in the starting something with MJ So they can all be against them awesome now. He's fucking people. So he goes, I thought it. I thought that she goes, well, you know what? One day maybe, but it's none of your business.

And that's when, yeah, now that's when MJ and others are going in on this whole thing that like, uh, so secluded him when we just ask a simple question, she always thinks it's an attack blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I wouldn't share a shit with you guys either. You guys use every single piece of information against your alleged best friends and families. So I understand Asa. Yeah, I do too. They're assholes. And she's like, well, you know, guys, some things you have things you, oh, she goes, you know what, MJ, you show what

you want to, but there are some things you don't bring up to all of us, like you don't talk about how old you're getting or your weight issues. Or yes, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You can't just use the MJ needs to be crying more about being a fat bitch right now, okay? When that's your storyline, you can do it, but yeah. And then somewhere in the middle of this, Raza is like, you guys do it but yeah and somewhere in the middle this rest is like You guys also like call me and she'll tell me things that she won't tell anyone now Tell her things and she shares with me so she isn't open because she talks to me which was his way of saying I get like I get the insats scoop. I'm cool because I get the insats scoop yes on Also and MJ and then of course he pulls the camera. We're all about him

He's like when they disagree is like so hard on me, okay You don't know what it's like to be half Asa half MJ fan Like growing up and gay. It is like so hard for me. You think? You think? I've never got that love before. Gigi goes, yeah, how come we're friends with someone who gets a nothing and everyone's like, yeah, yeah, and she's like, I tell you guys whatever you want to know. And so she ring goes, okay, did you take hormone therapy? And she's like pause. She's like, well, I froze my, my ex years ago and this like dramatic music.

I was like, huh? By the way, I don't, why do these people want more from us? Isn't what they get right now, like annoying enough? Well, Resa's big thing is we all put our lives out there on the show and it's not there when someone just gets to plug the caftans or whatever. He's always that's always been his defense, you know, yeah, and he's always telling someone else is their turn, but of course he's always the fucking victimizer. He hasn't been the victim yet, and I cannot wait until someone figures that that out in the cast and makes his life a living hell for a year just for fun. Um, so anyway, so Sherman asks this thing about and then Asa says that she throws her eggs and MJ is like, ah, you never told me froze your eggs even though even when I was

meant to my dream, you never even said anything about it. Yeah, she goes, you asked about the process when I was getting my eggs frozen and she goes, babe, because I was curious, babe. And she's like, but you'd already done it. And she goes, yeah, but Maris, it's because I don't trust you. And it's like, don't, don't, don't, don't. And she's like, so if you'd like about eggs, what else you'd like about? She's like, well, we froze embryos, not eggs, okay?

And I can't remember exactly, but I'm pretty sure it was seven boys, I think. Of course, because that's all you fucking people care about that you have a damn son, okay? This is not the Bible and it's not China. You don't only get one chance, but the key thing, oh, it makes me die. The key thing is that they froze embryos, but she said that she had her baby naturally.

So, I mean, I'm like, okay, but they're like, hmm, I don't think so. I mean, she's 40 and she had it naturally. I was like, you got, like, why are you guys care? Like, literally, why do you guys care about this right now? Yeah. And then Mike goes, oh, the way you said it was a miracle, that's a good one. Geez. Yeah, so much for your, all your beautiful contemplation about Israel, you know, 20 minutes ago, but like we're all one, we're all humans, but we have to treat each other so badly.

By the way, you froze your embryos, now you're seeing how the natural pregnancy, you know, yeah, I don't understand why that matters. It's weird. So my, but also in order with her for being on, oh, yeah, of course, I had seven sons, like that's so awesome. Yeah, to be like, I just, you know, just naturally in the unnatural part of the freezing process, I realized, you know, all boys, because, you know, we're perfect or whatever. So at the beach, now she's sitting on a chair and she's watching the others frolic in the Dead Sea and she's like, I feel emotionally poisoned babes. Like, I'm just like saddened. I don't want to share, you know, I don't feel that love at all, you know.

They use logic, like when they talk to me and question me, it's like not loving. Like, why would I put my baby in something that's called dead? Like I'm celebrating life right now. I'm celebrating life, babe. And then it shows the she's talking about how they're like not spiritual and don't get it. And then they show the rest of the Catholic floating in a circle and the dead G like all spiritual. And then we get a close up of MJ rubbing mud all up and around.

All sexily. And her saying, the Dead Sea is not good for my spray tan. You know, I think when they were floating in the water, it wasn't because of the salination. I think it was literally like the earth pushing them back. Like, nope, nope. Get off me. Get off me. I like turns into a a yellow stone like in geyser geyser whatever pops them all up into the air and Reson's like everything floats and if you're a man you're nuts float Like it's crazy the way everything floats like we laid down on the scene and it tossed us back onto the beach and Then the award for the biggest idiot of all goes to Gigi who decided to go into Dead Sea

with a fresh tattoo, which is beyond, like you're not supposed to go swimming in general with a fresh tattoo, and you're definitely not supposed to go into a normal ocean. Little, I can't even imagine going into the Dead Sea with a fresh tattoo, so she puts like some hefty bag around it and she's like, okay, I'm good to go. And wouldn't you know it? It burns up. Like her, she's burning with

assault. She's lucky she didn't get like a crazy infection. I mean, there's a guy that died this summer because he had a fresh chat. He went swimming in the ocean off of Texas. Really? Oh, God. But that Texas water. There's like flesh eating bacteria. As we're about to find out this, he's not a real house on some Dallas. Can not wait to see. Um, yeah, so they go back to the hotel at night and they get ready for dinner and also gets a massage from Zilli. Well, she talks to a destiny, but I love just watching us. So she's getting a massage and she's like, oh, yeah, everything hurts on the

pregnant lady. Okay, go ahead. Look, there's certain pressure points, like acupoints for pregnancy. Like, awesome. She knows your pregnant. Yeah. I know.

She even she looked bored. Zilly was like, oh God, I'm quitting this job. How pregnant are you allowed to be when they say you need to stop flying? Aren't you supposed to stop flying after six months? I really don't know. I think the only reason why they have a stop flying is not because of anything to do with her physical health.

It's more like they know any later she'll just become totally inseparable. Yeah, the longer the sick of sending the stewardesses down the aisle, like coffee, tea, no, I want a baby, please, just kidding, I already have one. It's right here. Look, the ghost next come in baby size because I have one. Do you have any peanuts I could get to my baby? Well, she's probably the type of, she's sitting there in her seat and they say, oh, what what would you like to do?

She'll probably say, we'll have a diet coke. Two of us. I'm drinking for two. Do you have an extra screen? Because I want to watch like baby driver, but my baby wants to watch something totally different, OK? I was really so surprised when I saw baby driver because I thought it'd be something that my baby would really

love, but there weren't any other babies in it. It's very strange babe. I felt hurt by it. I felt betrayed. I felt betrayed by baby driver babe. Babe. So Destiny is just sitting there nodding like, whoa, did I tell you about the burns? Wow! like, whoa, did I tell you about the burns? Well, and then we cut to MJ, who's all sexy and lingerie and a silk robe and her makeup's all done. And she's face timing and I'm like, oh god, we're probably gonna have to watch like Tommy's face, like kind of sweating and trembling from like jerking off from whatever face time sex No, she's calling her dad in the home.

Oh my god. Her boob is literally falling out and he's sitting there. And he's, oh man. I mean, what the hell? And she's laying on the couch like she poses herself all sexy to call her dad. I mean, that's just fucking creepy. Yeah, her boob's out. And my Tommy's like,

put away them. Put away them guns, babe. Damn. And she's like, honey, honey, squeeze my dad's hand. Okay, great. Oh, you did it great. Okay. Now stick your finger up his butt. Whoa, NG. I don't want to be a part of this FaceTime call. Fast forward. He's like, I'm about to give your dad a tattoo that says Shalom. I was like, no. So this was actually sad because she started crying.

It was really sad. So she walks around the, I mean, sorry, still it was still creepy, but it is sad when she gets really sad. And so she around the, I mean, sorry, still, it was still creepy, but it is sad when she gets really sad. And so she starts walking around the hotel room and mics, you know, being a supportive friend or whatever, it's falling girl around and just asking her for if she needs anything. And he's like, do you want to seven up? He kept on trying to push a seven up on her. It was so weird because you are seven up. Seven up. Seven up.

You know, seven like the number of embryos that are so frozen. Seven up. On the 11 East side of my family, if you had anything wrong with you, it wasn't seven up. It was Listerine. And my grandfather would insist he'd be like drink a sot of the Listerine. And we'd have to drink it. He was convinced that it kept all of our stocks strong and healthy You have to drink it you you spat it out right you know you drink it you take you fill the cap up like you're gonna Wash it out and you drink it. He thought it was like medicine. I guess because as alcohol in it smells

cleansing What effort? Oh seems a bit misguided. Yeah, so there you go Well, so then Mike starts giving her a pep talk saying like That she should marry Tommy because It would make her dad really happy and like he's hanging on basically just for her to get married And she's like ball-tling right there and slash waiting for her seven up to arrive. Yeah, it was sad But I was you know sad. Yeah. It was sad, but I was, you know, sad. It was sad.

Yeah, it was sad. So then they go to this restaurant, this gorgeous house that's a famous restaurant. And they're like, it's called house number three. It doesn't have a name. I'm like, no, it has a name. They just don't want to advertise that you were here. It's probably called like, Renata's place.

He's like, it's so fancy. Even Anthony Bourdain is dying here. I'm like Anthony Bourdain has a fucking eating show. Okay, where he goes to millions of restaurants. I mean, Chipotle can say that. Like, Anthony Bourdain has dying here. You know, come on. In other news, house number three has since closed down.

They have not. No, I'm just kidding. That would be hilarious. They just say even take their curse. They just like closed. I'm just imagine they probably just like closed out of shame. They're probably saying the same things. We've hosted dignitaries in Anthony Bourdain. And now we're hosting these people. Okay. It's I mean, yeah, to bring the Shah's restaurant curse to Israel. That's why people that's why they're quarantines when there's illnesses, you know, so we can't just be flying our illnesses all over the place. It's like I'm doing Google search of it right now to see if it's still open. Just in case it had it. Oh my God. Please say it was closed, not because I hate them, but because it would be amazing

to continue that tradition. Oh my God, I'm looking. So far, it appears that it's still open. So there we go. Well, it's still got time. It's like within a year, right? Good luck guys, we're risking you the best. That being said, that food looked so amazing. Oh my God. And the guy is telling him what

everything is and he's like this is fish. This is the female fish. See the eggs inside of her. And then here is the male. What a duel. And of course, us as like, whoa, guys, like I feel like this is me, you know, like with eggs in the belly, you know? Like I don't wanna eat another pregnant fish. I was like, you've got to be kidding me because when he first said you could see the eggs, I wrote a joke because they showed MJ and Austin stirring at each other like, you know, like too soon.

Like why, like why do you have to insult MJ right now with the eggs? And then I was also already like writing out a joke like, Aasa probably won't eat the fish because it's pregnant. And then she literally said she would not eat the fish because it had eggs in it. First of all, just because that's eggs in it doesn't mean that it's pregnant. First of all, second of all, it's also a fish. It's a fish. It's a fish. You fish you're not a fish I'm just like are those eggs bastards Is that fish married Were they married were they married or are they living in sin does that other fish watch the meds?

So mj gets stands up to give a cheer It's just like cheers to Tommy is that gonna make like fish egg babies with me and like before we get married Okay, and my continuing his now his dad packed Chopra like he's like a dad and deep packet one time man's planning as the word Mike's plating cuz it's so like explaining. It's so condescending. You know, he only does it to women But it's like so condescending and the thing is that some of his advice is not terrible, but he's just so condescending the way he does. He like becomes like a rabbi. I'm like, okay, Mike, come on.

Mike, you have not made one right choice, okay? When we see you make one correct choice in life, and I don't even care, I love your bad choices, but shut up. He's like, yeah, Tommy was at your dad's side, like a dog man. Like you need to step up because like a good man Is like a good dog, you know, and if you don't feed it, you'll lose it or whatever he said and MJ is like, so you're saying I'm gonna Lose him and then Sherman goes, yeah, cuz he'll lose hope

Yeah, and then and he's like And they're like welcome to the real world, which is actually true Also, Sherman said something that I thought was really profound. She goes, I literally have the perfect plate here. I was really waiting for it. I was like, what? No, I have the perfect plate here and I'm realizing that I miss Judges real entirely. Yeah, so I'm just crying and she's like you guys don't understand like I'm the one who goes for everything and like I have to respect my dad's And I was just like she's just giving her a dirty look. Oh, you're just like she's over it Taking pictures of all the food

Excuse me while I delete now all the photos to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it.

I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. be at times that she's manipulating. So, you know, like, bring up the hashtags, okay? So she's literally taking pictures like you just said. And Mike's like, well, Austin looks like she doesn't even give a fuck. Like, why should she? This woman has called her baby abastard all year after spending last year going after her for stupid shit. Why wouldn't she be taking instas? Yeah. And then Michael. And also, and why does she have to endure yet another pity party for MJ, MJ crying about

like Tommy, like this is like the most basic, rudimentary advice, which is them saying, hey, like you might lose your man if you don't, you know, treat him right. Yeah. Like why should she have to, she probably has heard this lecture so many times. I mean, I would tune out if Mike was explaining something to MJ. Yeah, Mike doesn't know shit anyway. So Mike's like, guys, you know what?

We're fighting. We're fighting each other to be more open with each other. Like, I'm so lucky, you know, to have all of you here at this table with me as a family. Shut up. It's not your family. So then I was like, oh, wait a second. You know what I have all of you here at this table with me as a family shut up It's not your family So the Nostas like oh wait a second. Oh, I was we're being insufferable right now. Okay great. I'm ready All right, everyone I have a bit I have I have an announcement

so The big news that the baby has a gender and I was going to and I wanted to announce this on our last night in Israel That was my plan all along. But then we were fighting before, so I wasn't sure. But I decided I'm, I'm going to share with you anyway. It's very private. Nobody knows. I'm like, who gives a fuck?

Why are you making that? Why did you even, even without the fight, why did you ever think that this would be like the grand culmination of the Israel trip that you're going to announce the gender of the baby? No one cares. Well, apparently they do because look how crazy they go. Yeah, it's a boy. Oh my god. Thank God. It's a boy. Thank God. You finally have a boy to carry on the name. The most important thing on mail. But then just when you start to roll your eyes and ask them, I'm just like, no, no, no, I'm going to make you feel sympathy for her because MJ gets up there. You know, she's in the confessional. She's like, hmm, let me do the math.

So she froze embryos and then she has a natural baby. And the frozen embryos are all men, are all boys. And she's having a boy. Hmm, I'm like, what are you trying to say? I mean like either A, okay, so she used a frozen embryo, no big deal. B, like, it's not inconceivable that you have a bunch of frozen boy embryos and then if you get pregnant naturally, there's a 50-50 chance it's gonna be a boy. It's like this is not crazy. Also what it's not? Math. So why she?

She's like, us as a fraud. I'm like, no, you're you're petty. That's what you are. And GGS also. I knew there was a penis in there somewhere. I just wrote massage in this much. It's like god as 2017 people come on So my right are you gonna name him germane because they all have to be bitches and she's like well if I do it would be germane Sultan Jackson the third babe So then resa's like wait a second. I'm supposed to be the star, so now he gets up. And he's like, I just want to make a toast because I want to thank you for coming on this

journey with me because I grew up wanting so much to be part of my dad's family and I wouldn't. And Mike has ants and like, grandmother, as sisters. And I wanted those sisters to treat me the way Mike's ants treated him, and I never had great ants, and when I see ants around the picnic, I think of Mike buffet too, then I could give roots to me Like did you hear I'm having a baby. It's like who can have the most selfish fucking toast tonight? Well then Shervin gets up. Oh Shervin gets happy. He's like, I just want to say I had a really good time I was scared because I'm a woman. this is like a super G-land, but it turns out that like everyone was super cool.

I was the people and like it doesn't matter. And I just want to say, you know, thanks everyone. I was a good time. Like shut up, Shervin. Shervin had like a nice time. Great. She was like, what? I mean, I had a perfect plate here.

Oh, you think you're great. You have a perfect plate of food. Yeah, those fish babies were delicious. And when he says, I had a perfect plate here. Oh, you think you're great. You have a perfect plate of food. Yeah, those fish babies were delicious. And when he says, I don't look Israeli, but, you know, it, it doesn't matter. Like it was the people and it didn't matter what age you are or what religion you are or how much body fat you have or like how much weaves on your head. Like everyone was nice to us. Good lesson, sir.

And then Mike sums it all up. He's like, this trip, like it spread our massive roots, like where trees grow. But then like trees come up and then they get bigger and then they have little leaves. And sometimes the leaves fall and then go away. But then there's always a tree. And like maybe the branches will grow or the roots will grow so far. They heard a sidewalk. and then they have to cut one of the roots out. The point is I'm Jewish. Okay. Point is I've contracted Dutch on disease. Normally it's just for trees but I have

had so dirty and everything I do I have actually contracted a treatisease. So everyone, I... It's my goodbye. I have touch-hums. Oh, the Dead Sea is like... I should have taken them when I have the chance. I'm literally dead. Dead Sea. Literally? The Dead Sea is like killing me now, literally I'm dead.

It's dead. I'm literally dead now The Liam died like like like honestly like if you come and if you if you if you float me again like I'm just gonna be dead I'm dead like I said like coming out like slimme slimme in the next. Let me slimme in the inlet. I'm like really killing now Shaz so everybody that brings us to the end of good old shaz, a sunset. Now we can stop pretending that anybody has any spiritual notions and going back to ruin our life for no reason. Yes. Yes, it was a nice flicker of thoughtfulness and that we're back to just being craving, selfish, awful human beings,

galloping around Los Angeles and we cannot wait. Yeah, so excited. Everybody, thanks so much for listening. Don't forget to buy your tickets for the September Second Show. We are going to make a big announcement tomorrow on what the daytime activity is actually going to be on Sunday the 3rd, the night after our September

Second Show. So come over there or come back tomorrow, find out. We are so excited to see you guys. And thanks so much for listening. We'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye, everyone. Wee! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Watcher Crappens Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today.

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