Watch What Crappens - Shahs of Sunset: What Happens in Vegas Gets Mansplained in Vegas

Episode Date: September 29, 2018

MJ goes to Vegas to celebrate her bachelorette party on "Shahs of Sunset," and it turns into the perfect opportunity for Mike to mansplain the intricacies of the heart to GG. He gets his comeuppance though by trusting Reza with a secret -- never a wise move... Be sure to check out our recap of the episode and then tell all your friends about it. And don't forget to buy tickets to our upcoming live shows at http://watchwhatcrappens.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.Our Patreon Extras: https://patreon.com/watchwhatcrappens See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Poppins And crap And crap And crap And crap Watch what crap is Watch what crap is I have cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cram, cr Hey everyone, welcome to Watch Your Crappins, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we love to watch. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me on this beautiful Friday is my dear, my wonderful, my

hugable Ronnie Kerrm from trashtalktv.com and also there is Prick's Bachelor's podcast. Hey Ronnie, how's it going? Hello! Hello, hello, well you know, you guys, we are officially about just a week and a half away from our New York show. That's gonna be on October 11th. We're talking about Real House was a Dallas by tickets for that now because there are not many left. It's gonna be a great show. We always have a great show in New York, it's a great place. We always have amazing shows in New York. Bring a friend,

if you want to come solo, come solo, you'll make friends. We just, like even if you are not into Dallas, it's just a great time and it's so fun to be in a room with your people laughing about Bravo shit. So come see us for that. And then next month we have Seattle, and not next month, but in November we have Seattle. And then December we have Nashville, which also does not have too many tickets left, about 50 left, which is really low. So you guys come see us, go to watchcrapins.com, together your tickets. And I'm sure we will be announcing more cities and more dates as we approach 2019 it's gonna be a big fun 2019. I'm super psyched about it And of course by the way if you're on the website be sure to get a head batch t-shirt because it's fashionable and exciting

I recently have been wearing my what's the matter what's happening? What's going on t-shirt and I keep getting compliments on it So you never know you might get a compliment on your head batch t-shirt So you know don't go through life without a compliment, you know That's good advice man. Yeah, don't let your don't like to pride yourself of a compliment get that t-shirt and watch Watch as people are like just fawn over those crap in fashions Watch as people are like, just fawn over those crap in fashions. Oh my god, you know what I'm trying to do? I'm trying to immerse your contact. I'm trying to merge B side and bend mantle gear,

because I keep texting like two different bends, and it feels weird, because I only know when bend, and they're both B side and bend mantle gear. Yeah, it's multi-faceted, truly, in your phone. Aren't you guys glad you tuned in today? I know, I mean, this is the excitement. You know, there's a Mac OS iOS update and now we're all we're all a flutter. Although I've noticed. Oh, that explains everything. These fuckers. Yeah. Yeah.

Did you not update yet or did you? Yeah. So everything's like different now and I guess I have automatic updates turned on. And so I'm like, where's my bookmarkspirer? And I couldn't find it. And then I had to like look at how to put my bookmarkspirer because I'm like 90 years old. It's also the return of Murphy Brown. And now she's like an old lady. And that's me.

I like how you like the two of them are equated. And that's how I feel. I'm like, can't just burg in walking through life today. Like, this is what we've come to I should have stayed inside But I like how you say that as if it's like mercury mercury's in retrograde well I mean well you know now we're in fall and it's the return of Murphy Brown so Murphy Brown is in retrograde, okay. Yeah, I heard it's not so great. Did you watch it? No, I didn't watch I didn't even know it was on but I read a really shitty review of it

Yeah, and I got kind of pissy about the review and then I was mad for Murphy Brown And then I was like this is my fault for not watching the book club movie, which I really wanted to see I mean, I'm like mad. I'm guilty. I'm like a range of emotions today. No, did you watch? No, I actually Well, I was playing board games last night. So I forgot to watch it. And I think I'm okay with that because I loved Murphy Brown as a youth, but none of the commercials made me laugh. And I feel like if a commercial can't make me laugh, then I feel like that's bad news for the sitcom. So I'm going to preserve my Murphy Brown memories. Well, if it's laughing commercials that needs it,

it comes, then I would agree with you. And I would ask Collie Wood, actually, that Collie Wood, to give one to, well, someone finally burned down the sheet sheet. Because that is my favorite fucking thing of her. And I laugh every time it comes. I would love a sheet sheet. It's an off-site column.

Just like the story of the lady in her sheet sheet. And like she rebuilds it every single episode and then it burns down And he never like every episode. It's like how is it gonna burn down and it burns down It's like there used to be a sitcom on that was actually really funny called worst week or worst day or something like that And it was this guy who just fucked up every single episode like no matter what he just found a way to fuck up And I thought it was hilarious. Like the shot. That's a great sunset.

Sunset starring Mike Schuhad. Yeah. Um, great episode. They are the same day as the Kavanaugh hearings, by the way, really a perfect episode. Like what a great pairing. Am I right? I know. Gee, is it more misogynistic because those hearings are happening or are we just like seeing you know, we always talk about when Todd starts the season like we're

cracking up and we're like best comedy on TV. We miss it so much. And then by about this time, I'm like, you know what? Fuck all of you guys. But every single one of you guys, you're all going to rot in hell and I'm going to laugh my ass off as you do it. You're all horrible

people. I can't even believe you have friends. This was actually my favorite episode of the season so far Believe it or not because yeah, it was well. Yeah. Oh, yeah, Margie. Oh, yeah They're finally being horrible again. I've been begging for weeks of them to be horrible and now they're horrible again And I want to burn down the seashad you see the Shawshed. Well, here's the thing No, they've been here. They are finally, yeah, they're being horrible and they're just kind of being themselves.

I suppose, I feel like all season long, we've been going through, like, holiday after holiday, then there's a funeral, and then it's a holiday, and then there's like wedding planning, and it's all about like, we have to be there for a family, we're a family. Oh, and there's this old look at this, this dead goldfish. I'm like, I want wanna get into you guys fighting.

And finally, we're back to it. And Mike really, you know, he is just such a douchebag. A man-splaining douchebag, which we've always known. This is not surprising news, but it was nice to have it reaffirmed this week. But you know what's so sad? It's like people are more acceptable as douchebags when they're hotter. Like it's he goes to ship physically. It's

really more disgusting. And I know that makes me horrible. No, I don't think it's actually very logical. Like at least have one redeeming feature. But I mean, he's literally turning into a garbage pal kid right before I think, you know, and it becomes like more horrible. And he's one of those people who actually like takes the garbage pal kit and like removes it. You know, like they're all stickers, but like no one ever takes the sticker off and puts it on something, but he would. He would take the sticker off and be like, that's what you do with the garbage pal kit. You can't have the sticker and you just can't keep the sticker like that.

Why did you buy it and not put the sticker out? Oh, he's a disgusting piece of trash. Oh, and I'm so excited to talk about it. Now today's episode is called Clash of the Persians and so I was Looking up during the intro. I just sent you a picture of the poster of the most recent Clash of the Titans movie Um, and this is basically MJ getting ready for her wedding. Let's see like oh, yeah Yeah It's a crack in That's a crackin'.

It's an ass crackin'. Uh. I felt like I knew we were in for trouble this episode when the very first thing we saw was like a slow motion black poodle crossing the street in LA. I was like, oh fuck this episode. My least favorite kind of dog, poodles. I knew when Mike was packing his mustard yellow sneakers. Like I was furious.

I don't know why, but that's the started. I was like, oh, I hate you. Well, I was mad too, because I was like, you can't even pack your own brand of sneakers. I mean, I know you're not in the shoe business business anymore, but at least try. He'd have to drive to the border of Mexico to pick him up first. I know. Get them from the Chachki shop in Tijuana. Yeah, no, but this episode was really, it was in classic Shaws and Mike was in full mansplained mode and I'm probably going to whip myself into a tizzy as you will probably

to and I'm going to berate him and I just want everyone to be ready because I'm just, I'm not in any mood. I'm not in any mood for'm not any move for mansplaining i'm only moved for i'm in the mood for gay mansplaining yeah just about fucking at it with this world and we don't talk about politics and we don't get it don't worry we're not going to today either yeah i will just say one thing to the world i'm really getting fucking sick of your shit and you better play it together okay you had, you had good mood, Ronnie sitting in his house, trying to get healthy and save the animals. And I just about fucking had it with

you people. Okay, so everybody get together and let's just all the side together. We're gonna get the shit together people. This is ridiculous. Yeah, I 100% agree. I on glad that we have finally like we've like she you you've you've arisen out of your catatonic state you are now like awake and alive you've taken the pill and now you are seeing the world for what it is welcome back to the matrix running oh like this world

yeah it's a lot to be angry about right now in the world um... and thankfully we have the Shah's ready to Ready to like take their take the brunt of it right now So I focus on my anger on these fuckers going to Chinatown and getting knockoff so everything okay Can I see one more plastic Louis Vuitton bag rolled? Or another fake ass Gucci belt which all of y'all have the same goddamn Gucci belt, the same fake ass Louis Vuitton luggage, and the same fake ass go. I'm sick of these people.

Yeah. Yeah. And also, I'm sick of the fact that, like, Mike is packing for Vegas. He doesn't even make his bed, and there's a camera showing up. At least make your bed. I mean, the place, like, like a dump. Like, I'm not surprised to learn that later on that Morgan left him, because, like, this is, like, this looks like the apartment of what I imagine, the place like like a dump, like, I'm not surprised to learn that later on that Morgan left him because like the This is like this look like the apartment of what I imagine Mike is like when he doesn't have a girlfriend

And I'm not saying it like oh the woman makes the woman makes like a house nice I think even if you were like with another man I think just any human would not have his their house like like a pigstie If cameras were coming over except for maybe Craig from southern charm. You know what character I want to see on this show? Mark Hellenberger with a black light. That's what I want to see. My guess is that this entire house is kept together by splooch rags.

Yeah. My cause of disgusting pig. So and also you know another thing I'm sick of? Quilted fucking camouflage jacket. Yeah. Okay. I don't bother me that much but I will be mad for you. Everyone on this cast has a quilt fucking camouflage jacket. Yeah, okay. I don't bother me that much, but I will be mad for you. I will be mad for you.

Everyone on this cast has a quilted camouflage jacket. Last week it was Resid, this week it's Nima who asked to be like everybody else. Get a better fucking person to live up to, by the way. Nima? Okay, I'm gonna calm down because we're never gonna get out of the first damn five minutes and we're on minute 17 of this podcast.

Oh shit, yeah. So, okay, so everyone's showing up at the Mike's house because they're all gonna go to Vegas for MJ's Bastard at Party and MJ is excited. She you know she loves Vegas. She's so excited that she's going to bust out her Golden Green eyeshadow which I didn't even know that was a thing that was possible but I'm intrigued by it. I don't know what it's gonna look like. I mean I know it will look like Golden Green, but I feel like in execution It's gonna be much scarier

See also informs us that she did not pack a single pair of underwear Yeah, you know what? Don't apologize to me girl. You do whatever you need to apologize to that fucking thong It's suffocating in those butt cheeks. You know what MJ doesn't have to apologize to anyone this episode for me because she was, to me, she was the hero of this episode and I thought she was great and I was like, Queen MJ, I was ready to give her a crown by a golden green crown by the end of the episode. I was so happy for the things she was saying. Also, I want to point out that I noticed in the background of these scenes in Mike's house that there was a soda stream and while I know it's possible that he could have bought his own soda stream,

I guarantee he took his mom's, the one that someone gave him, gave his mom a soda stream for now, Ruth, and I guarantee he took it. I mean, or he may have done that annoying. It's one of two things. Either he took his mom soda stream, which is like, why don't you get your own soda stream, or it's the inverse where he's like, oh, I got a soda stream, mom, you have to have a soda stream. I'm getting you a soda stream. It's like, why are you forcing your soda stream, which is like, why don't you get your own soda stream? Or it's the inverse where he's like, oh, I got a soda stream. Mom, you have to have a soda stream. I'm getting you a soda stream. It's like, why are you forcing your soda stream agenda on your mom? So it's one of two things, and I don't like either one of them. I love your soda stream anger. I've heard soda stream a few times now in the past couple

of weeks. Well, because it's all, it's the mic shoe head soda stream agenda, and I'm not going to support it. I'm not gonna support it. I'm not gonna either, I'm not gonna support him stealing it from his mom or forcing it on his mom. I don't know what happened, but I don't like either possibility. Well, she probably bought it for herself

because she's doing double duty now, playing that jeweler from last week or a couple of weeks ago and also playing mic's mom. They're just using the same actor over and over like law and order. Mike's mom's just gonna play everybody. There is no way she bought her own soda stream. She looks at that soda stream and she does that thing

where she looks down and it like, huh, oh okay, like in her mind, she's like, I don't drink soda and if I do, I'm just gonna buy it from the store. Why would I wanna make my own soda? This is more clutter. I'd rather save my money towards something productive like our next investment. That's how she thinks.

This soda stream is not Jewish. Give it out of my mouth. That's a little soda stream with the Yamaka on it. No, that's one she could get behind. No, she doesn't want a soda stream. She thinks it's a gadget. It's unnecessary. Which is why she probably gave it to my... Absolutely correct. She is correct. Everyone I know who got a soda stream like three years goes like oh my god It's the best you can make your own soda. I I'm not seeing them making their own soda anymore Yeah, and that soda tastes like shit and it's just concentrated Coca-Cola anyway like what's the point?

Yeah, I don't I get the only thing that's good for is I guess you can make yourself like unlimited shelter, but like That's like a really low bar like what you could also just buy shelter for super cheap Like like oh like because I also hear that too. It's like no, it's great Because sometimes I don't want to just have water sometimes I want to have something some some like fizz in it So I just get like the soda stream I can just have my own like Seltzer It's like is this what your life is about now? How did this happen to you? Yeah, I always feel for soda stream people to you. Yeah, sorry I got a new TV. I got the Apple TV like what else is there? I guess the soda stream

Yeah, yeah, that's one thing that's not going on my Amazon wishlist is a soda stream. That's for sure That is for damn sure. Oh God, so let's see here. Guys, the car is here. He's like, I was so excited for my bachelor party, but MJ made it the most debatuous party I've ever been in doubt with. I've lacked out that shit. Yeah, so then we see he's like, oh, yes, I was just going to say we see clips of him making out with strippers, you know, getting dick in his face on that, you know,

creepy minivan, like party minivan or whatever. It's basically us swinging Richards, yes. Yes, us swinging Richards, but you know, in a minivan. Yeah. And he's like, I'm not going to do her dirty the way she did me dirty. And then they just kept cutting to Adam's awkward face, like all uncomfortable in the van. And Adam was like, I'm assuming having fun, because he was on, he was actually invited on a cast trip or whatever, which is rare.

But he looked like he was having fun, but every time you shoot a picture of Adam, he just looks so sad, you know. Well, he is sad. He's a Tamgay and he's being forced into the least tame city in the world. He's like what do I do? I also like I kind of push back on Resa being like I'm not gonna do her to do the way she did me dirty. Resa you are not just some like victim of MJ's excess. Like you are a willing participant, if not someone who like actively told her, do this for me and then we'll act like you did it

so I don't get in trouble with Adam, okay? Let's be real at. And you know what, it's fine, it's fine. But like don't act like this is all MJ's fault. You participated. Yeah, she was the horse that led you to, or she was the one that led your horse, asked to water, but you were the one who drank all the penis yourself.

Okay, sir. So then everything moves to one of my favorite places in all of Los Angeles, the Burbank Airport, where Nima's just like having a really uninteresting conversation. He's like, all right, so we need to like, we just need to do this small $800 over, and then, you know, then we're gonna be done, and I'm not gonna be able to be available, because I'm going to Vegas And I'm gonna talk to some girls about their life choices at a club. Okay, so let's just like get this done While their dress likes to loon horse from like deadwood

Yeah, what was that? There's like so there's so much weirdness coming up But yeah, I need my pretending to work. He's like high apple high forward high-team mobile Hi, it's mobile, hi coca-cola. Yes. No, I think your decision to relocate to North Hollywood from Atlanta as a great one. I'm so glad we could influence you in that way. Anyway, I got a call with UPS slash FedEx afterwards. Yeah, he's in his res-equilted camouflage which I've already all that. I will say this about Burbank I don't like that they don't have TSA pre or clear I spent a lot of money on that shit and they get to Burbank airport and they're like no, we don't have that

I have to take off my shoes It literally took me 30 seconds to get proof you don't have to take your shoes off at Burbank because if you say your TSA Pre they give you a little like red thing that you hold. Oh, you're right, you're right. So it's just... I thought it'd go through the thing, but it took me 30 seconds, but I was still mad, because I didn't get to feel better than everybody else. I know, I'm excited, because I'm flying out of LAX for New York, and I'm finally going to get that.

Actually, no, but in Denver, when we flew back from Denver, I had a great clear experience, because Denver is one of the largest airports in the country, if not the world. Coming around that coin of security, it was just like a sea of people and having that little private escort. I felt like a coma. I know me too. The people in the airport that look at you when you get ushered right to the front of the line, even the TSA pre-line, they look at you like you're a cast of shots.

Like, you're just a disgusting piece of trash and they hate you. And they don't understand why you're so lucky. You know exactly. It feels good, it feels good guys. A bitch needs to take a commercial break. A bitch feel like, time for a commercial, that's so Persian. Raising kids can be one of the greatest rewards of a parent's life. But come on, someday, parenting is unbearable.

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I love my kid, but wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen ad free on the Amazon Music or Wondery app. By the way, also Shervin shows up at Burbank Airport in the scene and he has cornrows now and he's like, yeah, well, you know, I get all this shit about my man bun. And I was like, I was so happy. I love that Shervin already anticipates what we're going to be saying. He already makes adjustments before his season's even done shooting. He already knows, like, ah, I just realized.

And yet the thing that, but one thing that is annoying is that he said it a few times Like he did corn rose to deflect away from the man bun So I thought that man he got rid of the man bun But the man bun returned with the corn rose some like Shervin You're not helping like it's just I believe it or not. I'm not fully Against a man bun. I think there's some guys and the man bun still looks really hot on But it just Shervin it doesn't work for Shervin. It's just not in Shervin's hair profile. I'm sorry. Oh, I think he's so cute Like I literally he could do anything but like his cornrows and the man bun and those cars those gigantic trucks

Yeah, it's like he's dare it's like he's one of those people who just does mean things because he feels like he can't be loved And so he's trying to push people away. Stop trying to push us away. Okay. We love you. Yeah. And I feel like that, like he's around Brandon and Craig so much that I don't know why they haven't been able to have an intervention and be like, you're doing too much. Stop it. Like dude, this is what you should do with your hair. Keep it simple. Like I don't know why they haven't been, like, what is happening? They're MJ stylus, I mean, what?

Yeah, they can't. They've got a full time. They get their hands full. These are people with no stop signs, okay, in their construction band. Yeah. They're MJ stylus or branding is. Okay. So, Destiny shows up now also and she's got a blue wig and she's like, I can't stick to one color lipstick, let alone one color hair. I'm like, it's sticking to one, like, I can't stick to one color lipstick little one one color hair

I'm like it's sticking to one like isn't it a thing that women choose multiple lipstick colors Like is that a thing like I I and now I like Destiny, but I feel like she's trying too hard to like force a personality on us Just be yourself girl. You don't have to like Force this whole thing whatever Yes, and she said we see a clip of her telling her friend, the characters they create with these bitches, I'm like, they all say, yes!

Yes! Like no matter what wig. Yeah. Yeah. They're all the same character in other words. Yeah. So then, yeah, so they basically, they're very rich, you guys. I read this comment on our Facebook.

Someone said, I'd love that they're acting like they're all rich and badass and wearing Gucci rich, you guys. I read this comment on our Facebook. Someone said if they're so I'd love that they're acting like they're all rich and badass and wearing Gucci and then you hear Thank you for flying Southwest Exactly Well, but they are because they're smart with their money actually because they're not gonna get a PJ They're not like Lala and just wasting their money on a PJ They like fuck it. We're gonna get on Southwest and by the way guess who was probably C23 mic you know You know he was C23 and you know

Resa was like I don't know why he didn't sign up pay I ten extra dollars to get the priority in the a lane do worry I'll tell them you're both but you're both a handicap handicapable overweight and a baby at the same time you'll get you'll get sad triple first and Mike's probably like I don't I mean I don't understand why they have to put me in C like triple first and Mike's probably like I don't I mean I don't understand why they have to put me in C like they treat me like this and like I like Southwest like they keep making the same stick over and over again putting me in the back they have no respect for the passengers like no Mike just get there earlier. You know Southwest is obnoxious enough on your way to Vegas as we all know here in LA because we all fly Southwest away or to Vegas.

But God, it's obnoxious enough with like the steward jokes, you know, like, hey, welcome to the Lost Wages and all that crap. But man, this cast really takes it over the top. Oh, yeah. Well, I did like that Resa screamed on the plane. We have a friend with a man bun. Which I appreciated that. I was like, thank you for doing our work for us.

It's an emotional support man bun. That was like a little thing on it, but But then when they get off the plane and there's like this giant crazy limo, of course like res is like, oh yeah Look at the car. We're gonna turn up. Look at the car. I'm like, these are the people. Like, if you were at that airport, you're like, oh my god, get me out of this airport. Get me out of this city right now. I got you this. This cast is like probably the best. I say next to Kyle Richards, they're the best who just getting shit for free. Yeah. Well, and I support that. I mean here's the thing as like as so like terrible as they can be especially like Reza. I mean I do think that Reza is very smart and Reza is like,

fuck it, why am I gonna pay for shit? I'm gonna get this shit for free. You know, I'm not better. If there's like an ad on the cupcake, I'm about to swallow. Like there's literally a video ad playing on the cupcake. I don't care. I'll swallow any chip. I have to it's free He'll only spend money if it means he can divert it away from surrogate funds It's like oh will this to plead the amount of money that we have to save up for the surrogate oh well Hey Adam, I invested in a new skyscraper in Beverly Hills Micros like so they get on there, they're turning up. And Mike's like, Hey, hey, girls, girls, the more you drink, the funnier I get, and the sexier, huh?

I'm like, no, I'm drinking. And you're neither. Okay. Yeah. You're still just is, you're still just is obnoxiously made up as you were before. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that policy may work from her if you brown, but not for you, Mike.

She had, okay. He's like, Hey, can we may work from Irvy Brown, but not for you, Mike Shuvad. Okay. He's like, hey, can we go to Spirman Rhino? Can we go to Spirman Rhino? I was like, is that supposed to make you sexier or funnier? You're saying that right now? Yeah, that's just, it's just making it sad.

At Port Adam, this sort of goes back to what you were saying. I wrote down a note. I go, Adam looks like babe, pig in the city. He's like, oh, like, 10 gay is like lost. He's like ready to go to a windowill and be like, somewhere out there. I'm right here. Now I'm singing to the third again. I mean, hey, they should have just stopped at Spirit of the Rhino.

You know, sure, surely what a bike's all the old flings could stand a little gaker to. So then, Res, it's like is like you guys the turn up is real I'm like, please stop saying the turn up like it's already that thing turn up or the turn up is like already like a little old And you guys are just destroying it right now Mike's like I lived in Vegas for 12 years. This is like Mike's origin story, which I love. I hope they do like a break back better call solve thing where we get to see Mike playing himself, but he's really old, but like playing himself

when he lived in Vegas. Or like a Batman begins origin story, like we're directed by Wets' face Christopher Nolan, but it's about Mike and Vegas. Just keep, he just keeps putting up more and more plastic muscles. Exactly. It just has that music. Like every time he goes to like the Aladdin, which no longer exists.

Like when you make a connection in Vegas, it doesn't end. I made tons of money in 12 years in Vegas. I live there, but I came back with my tell between my legs. Oh, please. I think you're talking about STDs, not connections. Yeah, that's because you were itching your, you know, your whole. So they get the speaking of the Aladdin,

which turned into the planet of Hollywood, Casino. That's where they go. And they arrive and Reza has set up a beautiful buffet of lamb chops It was just all these lamb chops on plates on different like tears and like planes and like a three-dimensional Blam Chop buffet And like cupcakes. Yeah, so you have some on top of it. Not mad at it to be honest. This is a little jealous. Hersh is love food! We have food for breakfast. we have food for parties, we have food for the four parties, we have food for dinner, we have food for lunch.

These people think the rest of the world just some sides I'm jealous. I'm like, no, I'm gonna get all the love food, okay? Well, when you live in LA, sometimes you do have to, sometimes you do have to remind yourself that it is normal to eat food. So, so Mike is like, hey, let's get tossed up. Like, let's make some bad motherfucking decisions. Let's like, let's have sure we have some of a couple more children, you know? Like, I already have like four girls, they've like hit me up and they're like, you're in Vegas and I'm like, yeah, I'm just going to ignore them. Ha ha ha ha ha. I'm like, hey, you're, you were like that most annoying person right now. Like, you, like, I've been on trips like this before and there's always that person who starts talking like

that and guess what? They pass out at 8 p.m. So I was fully ready for Mike to be passed out and I was actually upset that he wasn't passed out at 8 p.m. on this episode because I was like, oh, this is gonna fit my theory. I think Dylan Ries want, I think he took a nap and I think we didn't see it. I mapped a bump Well, that's I think maybe because he's just priced. Yeah, he's like, you know

I ignore all these texts even though I'm single which is so gross and then Ressa doesn't ask him because that was his Interested ask him single. What do you mean? Her name is Morgan. She lives on the second floor She lives upstairs from you. Yes, I guess you've seen her, but... So... So... Some mics like you've seen her. She's damn big, it's so mad at you right now. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da.

I'm doing sitting in a casino. And reading the newspaper by the counter. I was remembering that because our friend Richie D posted a video of an old real house was of New Jersey recap where we did Sige doing that song. Oh my God. And I was just cracking up remembering. So thank you Richie. Well, but that brought it right back into my head.

Yeah. Well, good. So Morgan, yes. Yeah. Morgan's on the second floor. Yeah, he's like, you didn't So Morgan, yes. Morgan's looking on the second floor. Yeah, he's like, you didn't, you didn't hear what I said. He's like, what in concentrating on tamales? Am I psych? No. Look, you know, angry,

got Morgan got really angry with me. And she left that don't tell anybody. I don't want them to know. Mike, good luck, Mike. You're telling Resa. And also like, if you don't want anyone to know, then why are you telling Resa? Like, why are you bringing this up right now and you just said

I'm single like Also, you're so full of shit Mike. You probably told Morgan she couldn't come again So she got all mats and now you can fuck whoever you want to because you want a break I mean the rest of Geller isn't really gonna work for you. She won't exactly and then resa he goes listen Mike I'm a thug you're a thug I did some think it but not thugs that I'm a thug, you're a thug. I did some think of it, but not thugs, but I'm like, okay, relax 50 cents, like, come on.

You'd stop, just stop, like, I'm a thug, you're a thug. First of all, you guys aren't, even if we're like an ignore, like the annoying, like, appropriation of that, also, like, you guys aren't thugs. Like, you guys are like, you guys aren't G's. You guys are just like You're a realtor and he is a failed realtor you guys are not thugs

Yeah, but I'm gonna have a shampoo with champagne instead of a baby Bitch be like oh my thug up in these streets y'all I'm gonna I'm gonna pop a cap on your head Oh the champagne can set into your room. I'm gonna pistol whip you, flip you and then dip you into my shampoo. I'm just walking down the street. Oh I forgot the lyric we just need to yeah, all right sit down sit down over there 50 spent Okay, Ressa and Mike, so he's like you're stuck except for certain things like this and like it's all for pussy bro It's all for pussy

I hope you can hear this from my apartment. I hate you. So, I just have a thing that I just hate when you have a group and you're all drinking and having fun. And there's always the person making these big proclamations like, we're gonna get fucked up. Who's wants to get fucked up? We're gonna get fucked up tonight. Just let us do it. Stop talking.

Just let us drink and have fun. Like I hate when you, you're bringing so much attention to the fun we're gonna have. It's like being like, we're having fun. All we're having fun, I'm cool, are you cool? So Mike's doing it, he's like, he's like, guys, I'm gonna get fucked up, you're gonna get fucked up, we're all gonna get fucked up guys.

I'm gonna get fucked up and Adam's like, so happy. He starts like, flailing his hands and he slaps Mike in the balls backs and Mike said oh I'm like really like like an Adam slap got you to like like stops yeah you're a real thug like doubling over when you get like an accidental slap from Adam in the balls it's like getting hit by a it's like the Emerald Oliver again except Mike's nuts aren't worth anything. It's okay Adam and they were already misshapen. Oh and Mike is telling us you know I love Morgan but she wants to meet my parents and they

have a problem with the fact that she's not Jewish. I love that Mike's so religious like he's like blithering on whatever drugs he's on right now. Like you don't get everyone to fuck up and talking about how much he loves Busy and the that Mike's so religious like he's like like whatever drugs he's on right now like you get everyone to fuck up and talking about how much he loves pussy and the same breath about talking about how religious he is I think that have more of an issue about the fact that she's from like American girl place

okay, she is literally one of those dolls okay, come to life and it's actually very frightening although I guess the dog did come to life and then cook all that food, I wouldn't be so mad. Oh my god, my niece loves those things. Why don't more haunted things do nice things like that? Like why doesn't Chuckie like put out a spread? You know, why doesn't Annabelle put out a spread? More than Billy, if you want to keep people in your house, you don't have to like terrorize them and make them kill their children, okay?

Annabelle, just make them some decent lamp jobs. Yeah, exactly. I feel like Morgan is the type of come to life doll that when the kid looks under the bed, be like, what's happening down there and then you see Morgan down there? And she's like, I'm just cleaning. Oh, thanks.

It's like a helpful, helpful stuff. She's at the bottom of the well, just making sure everything's, I'm just cleaning. Oh, thanks. It's like a helpful, helpful, just at the bottom of the well, just like, you know, making sure everything's, making sure the battery's clean in the room. She's like, she's like childproofing the well. She's like, crawls out, she crawls through your TV and you're like, oh my God, what's happening?

She's like, oh no, I just wanted to tidy up your couch. I'll, I'm just give me a second. Okay, I'm going back in the TV now. She crawls out of the toilet like the girl from the ring. She's like, okay, I'm going back in the TV now. She crawls out of the toilet like the girl from the ring. She's like, okay, I'm done. No more rings. Second the grudge when she's like feels like hands behind her head or something. I was like, what's happening? Oh, I just, you know, I just want to give you a little head massage. You know, this will shower. You really need a girl.

Like final destination. She's just always ends up back in Mike's house. He's like damn it. I thought I broke up with you He's like still not Jewish enough Let the right one in so anyway, so now we get to see them choose different beds and stuff in their suite And it's like look at MJ's bread of sweet paid for by planet Hollywood casino and it's like, look at MJ's brighter sweet, paid for by Planet Hollywood Casino. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. MJ's like, oh my god, there's rose petals on the bed.

I'm like, did they forget the Pringles? I'm sorry, those are actually barbecue Pringles. Well, see, remedy's that later. Once you just pours popcorn all over the bed. I was like, that's my girl. She's like Daisy petals. So, Mike, so here's, I love when like, that's my girl. She's like Daisy pedals. So Mike, so here's, I love when like there's certain people who when they get drunk or if they are like going through

huge emotional problems for whatever reason their hair just gets messy. Like they don't have to touch it, it just does it. It's like, hey, like the hair is basically like, help, help, because all of a sudden we see Mike and his hair is going in like two or three different directions now. And he's like, he's just like being super annoying.

Like, hey Mona, why don't you get a drink? Mona, you can have a drink. Okay, like, go put your bag now and then have a drink. Come on Mona, we're gonna have a drink. We're gonna have a turn up. Have fun now Mona. It's like, oh my god, you are psychotic right now. Yeah, he really is.

And please don't let this turn into another G.T. situation. Please. Seriously. Please, we don't need that right now in our world. No. Have a drink, have a drink, have another, have another, have another drink, drink, drink, drink, drink,

why did you drink it, why did you drink it? Ugh, so then Mike starts giving Gigi shit. You know, Mike looks like someone grabbed him by the ankles and just slammed him on every piece of furniture in this place. He looks like, he does look like he like, I mean, he looks like, he does look like he just got him to a car accident like at all times.

Yes, I mean, a different size of his face are pretty. Yeah, like he has different parts are exploding out. He has like bags under his eyes, but like way under his eyes, like down by the jawline. You're like, what is that? Yeah.

So he starts talking to Gigi about shit that's not of his business right when his girlfriend just dumped him so he can go fucking anybody he wants in Vegas Sky, yeah, so he's like oh you know Shalom. He's a mess. He loves you. Gigi. He loves you. She's like No, that's not love. He's a stalker. Yeah, he's a wrestling ball. Yeah, yeah, especially Gigi's Gigi Blocked him on all on all like the phone and Facebook because she was harassing her and he might goes No, it's not obsession. It's like a deep rooted love that he has for you. I'm like, are you kidding me? on

You're doing this. Oh god. I can't believe he's saying this shit like like like taking Shalom size Shalom is a crazy person. Okay. It is not a deep rooted love. They were together for all of like three months Okay, and and Mike is saying it's a deep rooted love. They were together for all of like three months. Okay, and Mike is saying it's a deep rooted love. Oh, come on. Shut up. Shut up. Mountain has a space for you, Mike. He's like, what you're doing with this ring is wrong. If it gets back to him, he's gonna hurt his feelings. And she's like, uh, yeah, that's why I do it. He's like, my heart is with him. Okay, my heart is with him. Yeah, and sure when it's like oh, yeah, my heart bleeds for the guy actually Oh, wait no, that was actually my man bun never mind But like by the way, Gigi is under no obligation to give the ring back. It's a gift

I'm sorry like I mean if it were me to be honest I would give it back because I just $165,000 that's true so I don't believe that for one second But let's say that that was let's say that Mike's mom at a wig was telling the truth Hell no, but it depends on that. I wouldn't get it back. Okay, you went crazy on set told everyone to fuck off And that you being polite. I can only imagine how this guy is Listen if he if he piss really pissed me off I would like trade it in and take that money

That's what I would do But honestly like if I just wanted like, have nothing to do with him, I'll be like, you're take your fucking ring, whatever. But she's under no obligation to do that. That's the important thing. And so when Mike is saying, you should give it back, like, she doesn't, she doesn't have to give it back. And if she doesn't want to give it back, she doesn't have to. It was a gift. It's not like, it was like a loan. That's, that's, that's all right. Like if he was dumb enough to give a $160,000 worth, you know, ring, that's worth that much to Gigi. Like, hello, he has a TV.

You could have seen what he was getting involved with. And they were together for a second. So he's an idiot and he should not be rewarded for his idiocy. Yeah. And Mike bringing up this in Vegas when he's like, let's party. And then he tries to like pull a shot and go against Gigi. You can deserve everything you get later. Yeah, and you also like, you've known Gigi for 20 years.

You've known Shalom for like a heartbeat and you're gonna take Shalom side just cause he's a bro so you can understand what he's going through. That is the problem. That is the problem that, this is the problem that women have to face all the time. That's what's being like dredged up

by all of this stuff happening in the news i'm not being political but i'm saying that this is like this is shit that women have to deal with is like men man's planning and i understand that i'm man's planning about mans planning i get it it's metta you know that though that's just a way it's going to be for the moment for the next ten seconds you're be moning okay i'd be moning i'm be be mans planning no but the problem is that-

Bemoan-splaining. Bemoan-splaining. No, but it's like it's really a- it's annoying, I feel what I imagine is annoying about it is that here's this guy who is willing to look at the other side and look at the complexities of what, or to think critically about what Shalom is feeling and to really think about it, but then just dismissing GG.

And that's what's really annoying. Yep. Well, that's him. And he's like, do you want me to get him to stop because I can? Maybe you can't, but you know I'm a man. Maybe I can get him to stop. Yeah. And then he told me, I don't know how I got this job as the Gornesso whisperer.

Look, what did you solve? You solved nothing, okay? Yeah. And even if you get him to stop, you didn't fix anything within art. Lord knows they ain't nobody who can, okay? But that's another story. You didn't actually get that job, Mike. Okay, you just like showed up at the workplace and just wouldn't leave.

Yeah. So speaking of, Sammy comes in. Yeah. Sammy. Sammy. You're like, oh, so Sammy of Sammy comes in So Sammy and Ali come in Ali is the friend of Sammy comes in in a trademark tat He's been working it. He's been trying to get that hat

It's been about eight seven or eight years. He's trying to make that hat a thing and you know I'm so impressed that he still shows up after all these years Yeah, but you know, it's like they're like the waiters here So he starts getting everybody more drinks and then everybody starts getting rezy Rezy ready. How's reading? Resa yeah, everybody starts getting ready and mj's hair is pulled back so far because Brandon's like pulling it back to do one of those top Charo ponytail thing. Yeah And breath is like, oh my god, it lifted your face. Your eyebrows are higher.

And she's like, if I don't have a brain-annurist somebody in the end of this, they didn't do their job. Woohoo! So then they all go down to the pool at the, the, the pool at the Flamingo, which I didn't really know it had like a pool scene at the Flamingo. But I guess so. So they're there and all the friends are there and they're all having fun.

And MJ is wearing this crazy bathing suit that looks like it looks like someone took a tennis ball and then like flayed it open and like gutted it and then just like wrapped it around her and like tied it up. And she's just like like she's like in a tennis ball. But that being said, I loved how like she just owned her look. She's just like, I feel like I'm sexy. I know I'm sexy. I don't care what other people think. This is my body and my shape. And I'm sexy. And I was like, you are sexy. MJ, good for you. Yeah. And I like that. She, I've always said this and I love hearing it from someone else. When she says, not everybody has to like you literally just one yeah okay you don't

really you don't need everybody you just need one guy with a boner and I've got that so thonga it is baby absolutely and I also thought Brandon was so sweet to adjust Shervin's corn rose while he was in the pool and now that is a good gay that is a really good gay I'm Mima That is a really good guy. I'm Mima gets MJ and he's like, oh, I like that you can rock that ass and Tommy support him. Are you ready for one dick? All your life you're only gonna have one dick ever again. That's one dick.

Really? Because you've been divorced like how many times? I don't know. I feel like it's a lot of joke. I'm not according to your role book. Yeah, exactly. And I'm just like, I need sex six times a day and I'm only getting it twice a week. I'm like, well, that seems pretty demanding.

I feel like that doesn't really work with a proper occupational schedule, but fine. And so meanwhile, Ress is in the pool and he's just being that annoying guy in the police. Like, it's a bachelor at party beach. It's a bachelor at party beach it's a bachelor red party beach tuning guys and then they all jump in the pool and then Mike like if there's like as if Mike couldn't do more to make me angry this episode Mike just starts splashing the

water aggressively like he starts doing like big like, like he starts swirling his hands. So it's like splash, splash, splash, splash. I'm like, have you never been in a pool before? Is this like a novelty to you that you're in water? Why are you splashing this water around? You were being so annoying right now. They all are.

They all are. They're the most powerful people in Vegas. I mean, how can you, I just, he was out of control. I hate, I hate these people for the entire hotel It's like Vegas is the most obnoxious place in the world and you're you still top You know they all jumped in that pool and peed like at the same time Adam was doing his classic cannonball. He loves a cannonball

But like they were all splashing but but Mike was doing like an aggressive like I am a like a watermelon right now He was just like he was just like boom boom boom boom. I was like the sort of thing We're like okay, okay, okay. No, no, no, please stop. Please. No, no, stop stop So much highest stone around his goddamn make-outs already so one note about contouring Okay, I get it guys you Everybody wants a different safe space. I get it, okay? That like, Ronnie's contouring corner.

Oh, contouring corner. Turn it up. MJ, you look like Abraham Lincoln, okay? What are you doing with your, it's like, it's like, it's like you're playing the old man narrator

in into the woods with that contouring on your nose. What the hell is that? I'm getting it's flying around. Ranking. Straight back. Yes, Lion King. Lion King. It's like Simba Broadway Lion King Simba Miller. And I say that with respect to the show. To the Lion King. I say that with respect to the Lion, to the to Simba. But she has full on, she has full on Lion King. I say that with respect to the Lion, to the Tisimba, but she has full on Lion King happening.

It's like hexagonal lines around her face. Like I'm surprised there wasn't like a little lion mask dangling over her head. Yeah. And wouldn't that supposed to accomplish? Like you can only look like you have a skinny nose if you look someone head on. And then you turn and you just look like a fucking crazy person with brown lines on your nose.

There's nothing wrong with your lips and your face. Can you feel the dual tonight? Can you now? Can you now? Mike's like the dual guy at the Verizon guy. Can you feel it now? Can you feel it now? MJ, you have to give back to Circular Life. It's like Huku no Matata. Like, you can't Huku no Matata all your life. He's like the most annoying. Lion King lecture.

So yeah, so now it's like nighttime. Everyone's getting ready. Destiny is like, hmm, I like the way I smell. I'm like, okay, well, that's your storyline for the episode, congratulations. You did it. So Mike is like, ways that he's stumbling around. Shervin has just gone out of the shower and Reza is like, he's like, oh my God, I gotta say, that smell is so pungent. Why is Shervin single?

Well, he uses insect-reparental's cologne. It is the most alarming, shocking smell. You've ever smelled in your life. I'm like, Resa, I thank you for telling us that, but you actually don't need to because I can smell it to the TV already. Like, I already, I didn't even need you to tell me that. Like, I've been smelling it for two seasons already. Oh, for court. See, Bueller smells it to you that very good smell. Bueller can smell, Shervin. Why does Shervin do these things? Don't do the heavy cologne, don't have these crazy cars,

don't have the man bun. You're a handsome and you have a lovely personality and an adorable smile and you're so cute. Just be the amazing chestnut that we know you can be. Shervin. Yeah, I think it's the same reason people smoke or that Lisa Vanderpump wears those huge sun hats because people just need their walls up sometimes, okay? Yeah, that's true.

And that makes me say that Sherman has walls up. I feel like I want to get to what's playing Sherman, what's making him cry at night. Well, we're not going to find out as long as he's a friend of. He was very smart this season that he still gets to be on the show, but he's like, I'll be a friend of so you guys can't, you know, drag him over by the game. Like the most they can drag him is about his man bun and his cologne,

which is sometimes all you need. And I like that flashback they showed of Gigi at, I guess the cabins, I missed that episode when I was abroad. And they showed Gigi saying, did they show this on the original episode? GG goes, I'm completely plagiarized by your cologne. I'm like, did the cologne like steal GG's storyline or like, her writings about rheumatoid arthritis? Like it's like a cloud. A green cloud of cologne comes in and just like whisks away her writings. Oh bless

her heart. This plagiarized by cologne. Man, you know you're really vapid if you're being plagiarized by cologne. Oh, so what's next here? Here's what happens. Oh, I want to share something with you that makes it with me Keep it on the deal I'm going to risk beer as quietly as possible That's what dogs do From one thug to another secret thug report From one thug to another secret thug report. So workin' has decided to pack all of her belongings and groove out. The while we're turning up, he's dealing with sits.

Yeah, he doesn't know if she's going back to F.A.O. Schwartz or American Girlplace or what? I guess Toyz-Rusk knows so that's one place off the list. Uh, sir, we're here to turn down your beds. No! We are turning up! No one's not bus from turning up! Turn down for what? So, Shurvin, I hope no one over here's me telling you this very sensitive information. But we have to talk to Mike about breaking his old patterns.

I'm talking about hair patterns of course. We have to talk to Mike about breaking his male pattern baldness. Hey Shervin, do you like that the color of my shirt looks sort of like a microplane? That's pretty cool, huh? If you look at the situation with Morgan, it's making the same mistake over and over. It's called insanity! If you look at the situation with Morgan, it's actually terrifying. She's made of plastic. He's been dating somewhat made of plastic I've never met a swiffer sweeper the talks like that

Her batteries need to be changed that doespuster isn't working So let's see here Oh, so let's see here. So I'm just getting her, oh, so I'm just getting her makeup done and, um, I want all that to happen. Adam's like, oh, so this is pretty cool. Look at all these accessories. Is this your hair trimmer? And she's like, yeah, that's my hair trimmer.

That's why I used to trim my hair. He's like, cool. And he sticks it in his nose. I'm like, oh, and then on top of that, he hurts himself. Of course he hurts himself. You know, of course he, he's like, oh, wow, oh, I'm just like, yeah, you gotta be careful. Like, you never trimmed your nose hair before you dope.

And now he's gonna have to have like a sit down coffee within the hair trimmer and be like, I just felt like in Vegas, like we were getting along and then you like, you pricked me and that wasn't nice. And the hair-trimers like, I guess sometimes like, when people just like turn me on and just shove me in their noses, I don't know,

it's like a trigger for me and I just can't stop shaving. I just, I just wanna get back to where we were. So stupid. But of course you would and now she like you know I don't know. Adam, of course she's putting his paws on everything dropping end rolls like using a nose trimmer that's not his like stop it Adam I just want to give him a little little that just a little honest and I have to like not do that because that's so me it's like what sorry hit your paws.

Oh my no. We did you did do it in my apartment very recently, which was hilarious. Robert, Robin in. Ha, ha, ha. It was right after we talked about it last time. I know, I'm not sure if that was your karma or mine, but one of us.

It was a joint karma. It was okay. No, it was fine. No, it's not. No, it's fine. No, it's, uh. Ronnie, Ronnie, like, um, it's not. No, it's fine. No, it's not. Ronnie, Ronnie, like, that's not really totally your fault, but Ronnie moved something that caused something to fall over onto my TV. And it left like the most tiniest, tiniest, tiniest, tiniest little nicked where you literally can't see it. But I noticed that it's

like me, I'm crazy. But it's fine. I don't, you don't see it at all. But it was fun, but I liked giving Ronnie shit for it because he had just we had just had that whole argument over Resa and Adam and the emerald and I was like if he if someone did that to my emerald. I would be so I said you wouldn't scream and yell at me like that disrespect me like that And you were like one maybe I would and I would like to report he did not you did not so I'm right about my band Okay, you're a kind of nice. I did send you a text in all caps saying there's a nick in my TV once I saw it But it was actually honestly I am forever scolded in my eye cloud But you know you didn't make me cry. No, no, honestly, it's fine

It like you know if it were like not fine. I would really I would really have words is fine. You know if it were not fine, I would really have words. No, it's truly fine. I thought it was funny that that happened directly. Three hours after we had the conversation at the emerald. Everyone starts to gather for dinner and everything and they go to Mr. Chao. Of course, Mike is the guy who walks up to the concierge. Like, hey, how's it going? I'm Mike. I'm Mike. Nice to meet you. I have lots of connections in Vegas.

I used to live here. I lost lots of money because I'm physically responsible. And now I'm married to a, my girlfriend is a swiffer. Hey, nice to meet you. And the guy's like, yeah, yeah, welcome to Mr. Chow. He looks so miserable. That was awesome. He's like, hey, you're the one who's married,

the whiffled bat person. I'm looking through my Mr. Chan. I just wrote with Chiliseful. It probably was. She's gay factory. So, so GG is, so they're all sitting down at dinner and GG wants to ask, she's like, she wants to ask Mike her question She says, she's like, Mike, I'd like to ask you a question and read it like, Chuck your little bitch, Chuck your little Uh, and then GG's like, uh, so how are you? What did she say to him? She goes, she goes, how are you? He goes, good. She goes, so when you feel good,

you like to hurt other people. Oh. Yeah. Hahaha. Hahaha. And then she's like, you know, you talk to Shalom and he's like, well, I think he finds peace when I talk to him. And Brent says, like, you're both person.

You're both Jewish. You have a connection. Yeah. And MJ is like, why are you still friends with Shalom? Which I'm like, thank you. Thank you for asking that. Why are you still friends with Shalom? And so Mike, you know, it's, it was like that. That's I think where the connection comes from. But they said, well, the connection, Jewish, Persian, weird hairlines. So, um. So now they start talking about the ring again. Mike's man's planning about the ring, and all, like all, because all she has to do

is get back to the ring. He's like, you're giving him mixed signals. I'm like, no, sir, sir, I cannot even believe that sentence came out of his mouth on the same day. As Dr. Ford, I can't believe that came out of his mouth on the same day as Dr. Ford. I can't believe that came out of his mouth. Mick signals. No, the signals are pretty clear. She wants to divorce him and she wants to keep the ring. Okay. You're giving Mick signals. Stop calling him. Yeah. So, we think this

is going to be a GG yelling at Mike, right? Because so he's like, the guy is in depression. He sees it. You know do this you heard his feelings And I spoke to him today and it's like what why were you speaking to him? He's like you told me they're telling to stop So I tried just texting back stop in all caps, but the text kept coming and so then And MJ is like can we just change the subject everyone? And it's like, can we just change the subject? Everyone! Turn up! Yeah, she goes, let's turn the fuck up.

And then it comes to like, walnut shrimp arriving at the table and dungeon-esque crab. Like, turn up. Here's some green beans. Turn up! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Turn it, turn it up.

Yeah, so they're all talking, they're eating their food. Because that's what we do. Persians like to eat food. Why people don't eat food, but Persians eat food. That's a Persian. So, they're all talking, and then there's like cross-talk, cross-talk, cross-talk, cross-talk, then talk about Tommy. And Mike says something like, well, it's a good thing you thought for Tommy in the beginning.

You know, because there were like issues in the beginning. And like, I, it's a good thing you thought for time, time in the beginning, you know, because there were like, there were like issues in the beginning. And like, I don't know because you guys were dicks because then they cut back and they're like, why would you marry him? This is normal. When you just meet someone and they say they wanna marry you, that there's something psychotic there. Yeah, exactly.

Like, thanks, Mike. Thanks for interfering. So MJ is like, well, listen, I make my own choices. I don't live for anyone else. I don't live for my mom unlike various mama boys in the crowd. And it's like, whatever, I'm a mama's boy, I'm proud of it. I'm a mama's boy, you know? That's the deal. That's fine. So then it gets into this whole thing about Morgan, right? Because she's like, you should telling Morgan like you're you're you're never gonna Bring Morgan around and she says that basically all the women at the table have been misled by Jewish Persian men who like act like you know

They're gonna be their number one and then and yet they never bring them to their family and they wind up with like a Jewish girl at the end of the day So MJ just finally turned some icon says Does Morgan know that you're never going to marry her, which is great, even though they're already broken up? And then he starts to argue and she's like, oh my God, you're so defensive, you're so defensive. And he goes, she goes, you're 40 and after nine months, you haven't introduced Morgan to your mom,

like what's that about? And he goes, he's like, well, we'll see when you're divorced, how you feel about it. And she's like, oh yeah, well, I didn't marry someone in cheat on a mic and he's like listen you've had to city relax yeah which is like well well she goes well to me I'm like when he the fact that his response is you've had to have the city relax it's like oh so you're just gonna like respond with slut shaming basically right now you're gonna respond And the fact that MJ's response was half the city, I've had the whole city. I was like, yes, that was such an amazing response. Like, you can't like try to shame me. Like, if anything, you're shaming me because you're underestimating me, you know?

So, it's like, I wish I had the whole city. Exactly. And I like that MJ was like, you know, you think you're just gonna pick on Gigi and then your fucking life is off the table? No, no, you can't just like talk with like this great wisdom and talk about marriage, et cetera, when you cheated on your wife, okay? Like you can't do that.

I was just so proud of MJ and then like she tells us, she goes like, I wish I had the whole city and I could have used my kiss proof liquid lip spite on them. And she stands up because it's so so they stand up to fight. Yeah. And they're in each other's face and she's like, oh, the whole city, right? You want this? You want this? You want this?

You sure you want this dish? You want it? You want this? You're not a whore. Oh, you don't have 95,000 people on your DMs. You want this dish? It just needs like crying. She's like, please don't ruin the food

Yeah, I like I like that like I'm just threat was like offering up another plate of food You know she's like, huh? You want this you shame me for a shocker for son. Well, guess what? Why don't you eat this lovely plate of walnut shrimp and Dungeonous crab You think you're gonna say me shame this a crab. And then Resa's like, the fact that Mike has the nerve to call one of his best friends a slut who fucked half the city on her bachelor weekend is beyond me. I'm like, Resa, you're just mad you didn't have the chance. I love it. It's just because it's her bachelor at weekend. Yeah, the other time would have been fine. So Resa smells blood in the water.

He sees that Mike, Mike is being a dick and that the vibe at the table is anti-Mike, so it's like ready to pound. He's, Resa's been cool, he's been chill all season long and now he's like, finally, someone to turn on. So he's like, Mike, when are you going to get feel? And Mike's like, about what? And Resa goes, what's going on at home?

Where's Morgan which is such a dick thing cuz he knows actually actually he said what's going on at home And the micos it's fine and Nima jumped in he's a little more here And Mike goes oh well there was an issue and rest of this and now there's not and he says Resa don't start antagonizing you fucking guy. Yeah this resident don't start antagonizing you fucking guy. Yeah nice catch Mike. But it was yeah that's too late Mike because if you didn't want to antagonize you shouldn't have given him privilege information. Yes or been a dick to your fucking girlfriend. Yeah so Nemo's like jumping in on the bitch train which I love. Yeah and so Shervin goes well yeah, yeah, hey man, I heard that she's leaving, so that's the rumor going around the recipe. Mike's like, oh this is bullshit, I trusted you, I trusted you, I trusted you, I trusted you.

And then Mike has the nerve to say, I don't like it when my friends get involved with my relationships. They did it with Jessica and they did it with Morgan. I'm like, are you fucking serious? Do you know we just watched you say theigi, what you've said to MJ? And now you're gonna, and now it's off limits for them to talk about you. And you're the most dysfunctional out of all of them. Are you serious right now with your soda stream? Why don't you put your stupid hypocrisy in there, make a hypocrisy soda out of it, okay? Yes, and he's also blaming them for Jessica because he said they're making me move too fast just like they did with Jessica like oh, okay

You wouldn't have done any of that had it happened. They made Jessica convert. Yeah, I'm nothing to do with you. Yeah Exactly. Yeah, so he does a mini walkoff, you know, he's like, you know I can't believe you would choose her. I mean, I can't believe you would be nice to the star shows And well he does well he does that after he says, like, Teresa, I'm Hey, bro. I love you, like a brother. I'm never confiding in you again. I'm never gonna fight in you again. And Resset just stands up with, are you fucking joke? I do fucking everything. At which point Mike storms off and does the nanny thing, as you said.

Fucking Resset, because this is so Resset you, this move. Because Mike goes, look, bro, thank you so much for helping with my house and everything you've helped with. I think it's, help you! I've done every single thing in that house. So Reza is totally caught in the wrong, 100% in the wrong gear, so he's gonna make it about the house. Yes.

He's been saving that for another week, but he's like, well, get up. Guess I better use that one, you know Yeah, so he pulls that up and Mike just runs away And that's me's like, oh my god, the blue wig is the wig that chases Mike And meanwhile by the way and GG's like no, no, let's talk about your mom again. We could talk about your mom It's okay. We could talk about your mom So God yeah, to you to you like she's just the the child of an abusive relationship Come on guys make it about me again It'll be okay. We can make it about me. I don't mind

It's hard when you've been plagiarized by cologne So I tell him I tell him he's my brother and then he takes it and he twists it. What if he twists? So far I haven't heard anybody twist anything. You you you confided in him something that was gonna come out the next day Because Morgan was supposed to show up the second day in Vegas And she was she's clearly not gonna show well at least I won't say she's not gonna show up But assuming she doesn't show up. It's gonna come out in the open anyway. So like why are you, don't get mad at Reza. You know who Reza is. Okay, you've been burned by him like 25 million times.

We all watched the show. We know what Reza is about. You give him a little grain like that on a group trip. He's gonna go and turn it against you, especially if you've been taking advantage of him and his design skills on your house. Yeah, never let Reza in to fix your house. What do you net?

Yeah, it's like one of those old scary tales. Like, oh, you let the Reza in to fix your house. What do you need? Yeah, it's like one of those old, like scary tales, like, Oh, you left the Resa in to clean your house. And next thing you know, you're a member of the Chevron. I let the wrong Resa in. So, um, so Resa only did that so he could yell at you now. You know, Resa plants those seeds really early, just so he has something to yell about later. And Mike fell for it yet again. So Resa, yeah, it is like a deal with the devil with Resa. So he's like, you know, I helped

with Mike's house for a year and like, he never checked in on me. He never checked in on me. He just keeps on. He's like, you would think I've trolled this time, he would say, hey, here's a massage. Here's a gift certificate to chillies. Here's a, here's a laptop. Here's something. I mean, it's like he doesn't thank you. He even even Steve Jobs said thank you. And he's like, uh, no, well, I mean, he did verbally, but they need to be like, thank you. Now, can you finish my house? And like, he was like, he keeps doing this to me. It's not fair. It's not fair. I'm like if he keeps doing it to you, why do you keep telling him sensitive information?

Yes. So they're like cheers, cheers to whatever, cheers to empty or whatever. And Gigi's like, oh my god, my glasses empty. I have nothing to say cheers to. Hey, can I just have some Cheetos, some Tito's. Sorry, that was M.J. sort of. She's like, can I please have just Cheetos? Sorry, that was him, Jay's hurting. Can I please have just some Cheetos? No, I just, great. I was like, that is my girl. It's either the bottle. Oh my God, you've been plagiarized by Gigi.

He's plagiarized, plagiarized. There's some cologne out there that's drinking Cheetos. So, yeah, they're like, so Mike comes back and say, I'm like, yeah, and so I'm's like, all so on like, yeah. And so I'm just like, listen, I have to keep it real. And if I heard you, I'm sorry. And Mike's like, whatever, whatever. It's like, okay, let's cheers.

Mike, you don't want to raise the glass. Like, cheers, cheers, whatever, cheers. Like, you guys cannot have your cheers, whatever, cheers, cheers, cheers. I'm sad for sure alone right now. I'm sad for sure alone. So I'm, yeah, I'm sorry. I asked you a bold question. He's like, I don't even hear any say that.

I didn't hear any question. I heard a statement. I heard a statement. She's like, well, I'm sorry. I made a bold statement. He's like, okay, that's good. Thank you for, thank you for being grammatically accurate in your apology.

Yeah. And he's like, well, I'm sorry. I crossed the line because I did crossed the line. And then he starts crying off his eyelashes or whatever. And then everybody applaud these two for like saving the sweet and sour pork or whatever they were about to fight. That's right.

I think he's like, guys, let's support each other through this process. What are you talking about? And then they hug while my cries and stuff. And he's like, the betrayal hurts. And I'm going to hug now. But when your and he's like the betrayal hurts and I'm gonna hug now But when your best friend does it it hurts the worst and I'm gonna cut you and tighten my circle even more I don't think anything's getting tighter except the shirts So then they go to the club and sort of like from here to the rest of the show

It's sort of like a prolonged like fun times at the club sort of the club Nima's flirting with girls so awkwardly. He's like oh hi a prolonged like fun times at the club. So at the club, Nima's flirting with girls so awkwardly. He's like, oh hi, yeah, I'm Nima. Yeah, no, so I work with like Apple and Texas Instruments. We make calculators and also Coca-Cola and Pepsi. They're sort of mad that I work with both them. Anyway, what's your future going to be like? What are you doing with your career? Are you doing college stuff? That's cool. That's great. That's great for you.

Yeah, one girl's getting married. I think it's her bachelor at party. And he's like, oh, you're settling down? Why are you two young to settle down? You've got so much your future ahead of you. My god, this guy is so turned on. Like getting with people when he's not supposed to get with people.

That's his whole thing, you know? And this girl's like, yeah, I'm just fish nets and a you know, or tello something. Yeah, the more tello thing Like a pink satin board that low thing and then Mike's like oh, yeah, come on over and GG Em, and she's like I'm not they're all single so they're splitting off on their solo missions That you know what who's here for me my gay my gay to Raj Well, she it's it's got a rock like gay on tarage. She kept saying gone tarage. She's like my gone garage She says this makes me feel like Madonna probably didn't the early 90s I like that she like specifically time frame did I'm like where's the code bra?

so Yeah, so that she goes back to her suite with the gaze. She, I mean, she, she's figured it out finally. She goes back, they all phone over her, she like throws popcorn around, like it's like popcorn fireworks. It's like all over, it's actually disgusting. But, um, but they were having a nice fun time with the gaze just like talking and having fun. It's like, that's what your gaze are there for. And like, Craig is like, I'm sorry that I made you drink water before which of course Craig is like that he's like I'm sorry.

Or you mad at me. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet.

He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet.

He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. He's so sweet. down the club, like some girl goes up to Mike and she's like, how long are you? He's like, I'm 39. She's like, no, you're not. You don't look 39. Props to you for actually being 57 right now and being out of the club. Oh, that was pretty much it for this one. Yeah, there was like a scene of MJ going into Reza's room, but it was, it just was like was like high jinks like a little fun high jinks in the episode and then next week It's just back to the the drama of Vegas. Yeah, wow. I can't believe we did it this long Well, I was really work. I was really really worked up about this

But you know, though before we wrap this all up this. But you know what though, before we wrap this all up, we have some crapens mailbag that we can do, so let's do some crapens mailbag. Okay, let's start with Samantha Lysoya. By the way, this is crapens mailbag, it's when people can write in questions or comments, whatever they want, and we read them on the air. To do that, you just have to support at the Mailbag level or above on Patreon. And I should also mention if you are supporting at the listener's spotlight,

like be sure to check your Patreon messages, check your spam folders, cause Patreon messages might go there, because I've been trying to reach out to people to get the spotlight. You're recordings and I don't want people to feel like they are being robbed. So anyway, Samantha Lasoya writes, If you were left on a deserted island to survive, which three Bravo Liberties would you choose to be with you and why? Also, how did you guys meet? That's kind of a funny like duo right there. So, let's start with the desert island.

Which three bravo liberties would you choose to be with and why? Oh my gosh. I would choose Lisa Vanderprime because she's Rich's Hell and she wouldn't want to talk to me anyway. She just leave me alone. But also, like I could laugh at her fabulosity. Thank you.

Who would be your top? Well, I think number one, this is odd. I think I want Shirley from Top Chef, because she would just like cook ship. So actually, no one knows. I mean, I do want Shirley, but I'm actually to say Carrie from Top Chef, because she made a cheesecake in the snow. And that sort of resourcefulness

is what you need on a desert island. So Carrie from Top Chef, because she could feed me. I think Tom Sandevol. Oh, that's smart. Yeah, I think Tom Sandevol, because I think he would like build shit. He'd be like, dude, I just made like a hut out of like Palm Frons, dude.

And like- Yeah, but it would all fall on your head. It would fall, but I feel like like four out of like four out of five times It wouldn't quite work but then the fifth time he would nail like dude check it out And he would also like do he keep us entertained he'd be like let's like swim out into that wave and swim back And see if we don't get bitten by a shark dude Dude and then number three, who I don't know who my third one would be.

I'm trying to think of like housewives or Southern charm people. Well, Michael the Butler, because then he would just, he would make martinis, he would make like ocean martinis, which normally you're not supposed to drink ocean water, but he would find a way to make it actually like, he would like make a martini out of it somehow. And he would also just bring me my food.

So I would have to use as much energy. So I think Michael the Butler, Carrie from Top Chef and Tom Sandivall. Okay, so I have Lisa Vanderpum. Just because you would not annoy you. Yeah, yeah. She would be terrible. I have to say like a deserted island honestly sounds amazing to me. I don't want anybody on my

deserted island. Like I would want Wilson, you know. Okay, but I will say, um, probably pickles, because she seemed to be a very good assistant to Sonya. I feel like you would want like, um, a meat from Summer House, because he basically is Wilson. No, because he'd be from Summer House. Cause he basically is Wilson. No, cause he'd be like fucking crabs. You know what I mean? Like, it's just a pig. I don't need that.

And I don't need like a big talker and I don't really need a friend either to be honest. So I would have pickles because she could go get me a Lisa things. And then I feel like Lisa would be a problem for you because every time you would like go catch like a crab or like a fish or something from the sea She'd be like no you can't hurt it. It doesn't life and fishing forever and fishing forever No, as long as it's not a dog she doesn't care I'm sure I have a problem with her renaming everything to be Lisa Vanderpump something she'd be like Lisa's Crab boy, she'd have like, Lisa's crab boy.

She'd have like sucked. Sex-eunic palm tree. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. So is the pump-pump beach club? Yeah, she just be like, uh, look, it's a pendulum. Excuse me,

a nickelane design to speak. So be like, it's a palm tree. It's a vine. Yeah, welcome to pom pom Okay, so pickles Vanderpromp and who out oh chef Joe I think I'll take for Vanderpromp rules because he hates Kristen and you know He can make me a sloppy soup out of whatever's there you you're gonna get out of all the bravo chefs, out of all the top chef people, even out of chef Penny. You're gonna choose chef Joe with his turnip soup?

Yes, listen, I don't wanna be bothered by people. I really just wanna be alone and not spoken to. I want somebody to, I don't need fancy food. I'm literally on the Domino's website right now because this podcast is I think and I really want some comfort food. Okay, that's where I'm at. Fine. And just to wrap up with Thresus Manta's question, how did we meet? We met because

I used to have a blog with my friend Joe called TVGazam and we ran that and we needed to hire more writers and Ronnie submitted it like a application or a sample or whatever and Ronnie was funny so we brought him on board to write for the site and since Ronnie was local we we met up here in L.A. and the great love affair began there. Yeah the rest is her story guy. Her story. Yeah. So Samantha thank you so much for writing in your question. And remember guys, you go to patreon.com slash watch or crap ends.

And if you support at the mail bag level, you too can write in as many questions as your heart as your heart demands or wants or yearns for. And we'll read them on the air. Sometimes it takes us a while to get through all the questions before we set up a new mail bag, but we get to them all, we do them all. So thanks guys,

let's go out in New York, shall we? Because we're already pretty low. So let's just like finish it out so we can stop shilling it on this damn podcast. Go to watchacrapans.com to get tickets for the show. It's October 11th, the Grammar Sea Theater. It's gonna be great. The energy will be phenomenal.

Come solo. You will not feel embarrassed or awkward. You will make friends. That's like a common thing, like I was gonna come but I don't want to go solo. It's okay, you are with your people. It's gonna be so fun. Go to watchcraftens.com to get those tickets for that. And the other shows, we love you all, have a fabulous weekend, we'll be back on Monday to talk, married to medicine, and you know, stay alive everyone and be

love you all. Yeah, I love you guys. Bye! Hey, Prime members, you can listen to WatcherCrapins Add Free on Amazon Music, download the Amazon Music app today. Or you can listen Add Free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry Plus in Apple Podcasts. Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry.com slash survey.